Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Bring on the belly...

I'll probably kick myself in a few weeks for saying this, but I think I'm ready to start showing. I know I should be happy that I still look thin, and I am (though without clothes to camouflage things, it's a slightly different story). I should be holding on to every last minute of thinness while I still can, before I have months of a baby belly and months beyond of stubborn post-baby belly. But here's my thing...I feel funny doing "pregnant" things without looking pregnant. It makes me feel like I look a little too eager. Over the weekend I finally bought "What to Expect When You're Expecting". At the same time Craig bought this book, "So You're Going to be a Dad". That's more of a comedy book and he thought it might be fun to read. Anyway, it just felt silly buying those books, for some reason. Like the clerk is looking at us going, "Pregnant, ha! They must just have found out and they're running here to get some literature!" Or when we went to look at the nursery decor, it just felt funny to do it without a belly as proof.

When I tell people I'm 16 weeks along (baby's an avocado this week, by the way!), they look at me quizically, like, "Where?" And again, while I can appreciate that to some extent, eventually it's just going to get awkward if I don't pop sometime soon. Of course, then I'll probably have to go through that awkward phase where I just look fat. At least right now I can still pull off "thin"...but I know there will be that phase where it's not quite obvious it's a baby belly...but I'm no longer thin, either. Thank goodness for bulky winter clothes, I guess.

This feeling even extends to the gym, where I feel like a total wuss. I have to keep my heart rate down, so I end up doing a lot of slow elliptical and treadmill work. Just like I've looked with disgust for years at skinny girls doing 15 min. of work at half the speed I'm at, people are probably like, "Why's she even bothering?" But with a baby belly I turn into a hero..."Wow, look at that girl, pregnant and all, and she's still here working out!" At least, that's what I think when I see pregnant women working out.

So, as much as I'm dreading the day I wake up and poof!...I have a gut bigger than any I've ever experienced, being able to feel a little pregnant (in a good way) will hopefully come soon...

No comments: