Thursday, January 24, 2008

Concerns...

I hope the blog title didn't freak anyone out...everything's fine. My brain, however, has fast-forwarded a few months and is starting to think about some of the less fun parts of parenthood. It's mostly the result of the two blogs I read everyday, the ones that I originally mentioned sparked this creation. Both women who write them had kids a while back, and it's interesting to read some of the things they're going through, knowing that it'll be me in the coming months. They've both had their share of issues (one got that nasty MRSA while in the hospital (the one that's already a cancer survivor, no less) and the other is a single mom), but everything seems much better everytime they post pictures of their cute little boys...both are adorable. And isn't that what it's all about anyway?

Well, lately there have been a couple things that have come up on the blogs that already had me worried in the back of my mind. The first is marital difficulties after the baby is born. The thing is, Craig and I have a great marriage...we're genuinely happy and have a great time together. Sure, Craig's job gets in the way a lot, but maybe that makes the time we do have that much better because we know it's limited. And anyway, if he never had that job, we wouldn't be together. But you hear periodically about marriages that crap out right after kids because of the added stress. Despite the strength of our marriage currently, every time I hear stuff like that I cringe a little. No one goes into parenthood expecting it will make them hate each other, right? We'll obviously do all we can to avoid being a statistic...but it's still such a scary, unknown world. My fear has always been that I'll be left to do the vast majority of the child care because my work schedule is shorter and more normal. Craig has to work games, go on the road, etc., and that means a lot of nights and weekends of solo parenting. I can see how that could get frustrating and exhausting. I know he will do everything in his power to devote as much time as possible to our new little family, so on that front I'm not that worried. But then when I read in this one blog that some major life changes (a new baby, new house and new NYC commute) were causing some marital strife (she hasn't elaborated beyond that yet), it was a little scary. After all, this was a relationship that survived cancer. Yikes. Maybe it's not that serious, but it still gets you thinking. Hopefully Craig and I will remain blissfully in love no matter what parenthood throws at us, but there's no denying that big changes are ahead and we need to get ready for the challenge!

My second issue is day care. This is a big one on a number of fronts, from fears about the staggering costs (which I keep hearing about from all over) to how horrible it's going to be to drop off our six week old newborn and then sit at work for 8-9 hours a day...then come home, spend a few measley hours with the baby before it (and we) fall asleep. It all just seems so sad.

While we haven't done major calculations as far as daycare, we know we can't afford to have one of us not working. But however the budgeting goes, we'll just have to make it work. It seems horrible to not have kids just because you can't budget around daycare, you know? What happens when there's more than one to pay for, I have no idea. Hopefully we'll be in a different situation by that point and it will be less of an issue by then.

Picking a daycare scares the crap out of me...just too many stories on the news about psychos working at them or running them. We might have a bit of an "in" for one, but we haven't even gotten close to looking into it yet to know if it's a good one.

So overall there are a lot of scary things coming up...and while I know we'll have to confront them one of these days, right now I just want to stay calm and enjoy our relative sanity while we still have it...

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