Back to the Beach

Well, I'd say we had an eventful weekend.  Pretty good overall, but man, was I ever tired on Monday!

First, let me start with earlier in the week, as we noticed that Carter's loose front tooth (which has been ever-so-slightly wiggly for many months) was finally getting to the end stages.  It was bugging him a bunch when he was eating, and while it wasn't exactly hanging on by a thread or anything, it was getting looser.  I also noticed that his permanent tooth was already coming in behind it (just like Jacob's did).  We were close enough that I snapped some pictures one morning, just in case!

See the tooth hiding behind the left middle?

I really just wanted to capture his full baby tooth smile one more time, just in case...and while you can't see the bottom teeth well, how handsome is he with freshly combed hair and a big grin?!

On Friday we decided to go to our favorite gluten-free pizza place since we hadn't been there in a while.  Usually we get two pizzas so we have one for leftovers, so it's always nice to have that handy in the days that follow!  We had a busy weekend otherwise, so I figured that might be our best chance.  We had a tasty dinner at the restaurant and brought home some cookies, too.  Back at home, the boys settled on the couch to watch some TV, and all of a sudden I hear Carter say, "My tooth came out!"  He'd said that jokingly once or twice, so initially I wasn't sure, but sure enough, he pulled it out!  I think the pizza must have helped it along, because he did complain about it hurting as he ate. 

It's gone!

Proud kid!

He was very excited to leave it under his pillow for the Tooth Fairy, and came into our room first thing the next morning to show us what he got!  I'm definitely still adjusting to seeing that gap in his mouth, however short-lived it might be.  The tooth next to it is just a little loose, and no sign of its replacement yet.  I actually ran into a co-worker at our summer outing last week and her five-year-old had five missing teeth!  All four bottoms and one top were out, and there didn't seem to be any sign of them growing in.  Poor kid!  Teeth are so funny like that, though.  I'm mourning the official end of his babyhood, even though he hasn't really felt like a baby in a long time.  But those baby teeth are usually so hard-fought coming in that it's sad when they go.  The transition to the big kid smile has begun, and after going through it with Jacob, I know it's bittersweet--you get to see what their grown-up smile might look like (braces not withstanding), but you lose yet another link to the baby they once were...and God knows those links go quickly enough the older they get!

On Saturday morning I was rushing around just trying to get us packed up and ready to go to Buffalo for the rest of the weekend. My family reunion (#1 of 2) was Sunday, and Jacob was begging to go to the outlet mall to get sneakers before his basketball camp started this week, so we opted to go up Saturday and get in the mall visit before sleeping at my parents', in order to have a slightly closer vantage point to get to the reunion early-ish on Sunday.  It used to be even better when we stayed at Craig's parents' since they're only about 20 minutes down the road from the camp, but sleeping there is complicated now so the hour drive would have to do!  In between packing and food prep and all the other things on my list, I ran outside for a few minutes (initially to chat with our neighbor who was in the midst of a moving sale--guess the rental will be rented again!) and noticed the butterflies (and bees) swarming our coneflowers.  They were all over the place, and luckily one wasn't too skittish for me to get close enough to take pictures.  I kept waiting for it to open its wings to show the orange inside, but these were the closest I got!

A little peek!

As you may know from my issues with the butterfly garden at Strong Museum, I still find butterflies to be a bit too bug-like.  They're beautiful enough that I can usually just focus on taking pictures, but any markings that are too moth-like tend to freak me out.  This guy had a creepy white body, but when I let myself look at the outside of his wings, I was stunned by the detail.  And somehow my phone captured it.  Click to zoom in!

Stunning, no?

We finally got on the road sometime after 2pm, and opted to make Kohl's our first stop since we both had $15 in Kohl's Cash to spend.  It was rather challenging for both of us to spend it, but the kids were surprisingly cooperative as we searched.  Eventually I settled on bike shorts (which were my original target), a super cheap black cardigan, and a new casual watch to replace my old one whose protective clear plastic face fell off during our Lake Placid trip.  Bonus points--the one I picked actually fits my tiny wrist, which almost never happens!

We stopped at my parents' to drop off luggage and then headed to dinner at Mighty Taco.  That was actually more harrowing than it should have been as Jacob panicked about his usual choice.  He said it wasn't healthy enough, but then also expressed concern about getting taco meat on his Raptors' jersey, so who knows what the bigger issue actually was.  After a bit of a standoff, he settled on chips and guac (which he didn't even know for sure he liked but insisted he would eat--and he did like it and eat it).  Then it was off to the outlets for a tour of the major sports brand outlets - Puma, Nike, Under Armour - and finally Foot Locker.  Craig and Jacob both found some things--including Jacob's basketball sneakers, which I have given up the fight on--and then we headed back toward my parents' house.  However, Jacob was a bit hungry again at that point so we took a detour to Platters, the hometown chocolate factory that is now a coffee and ice cream hotspot, too.  Craig got dairy-free cookies and cream, his first "real" ice cream cone in ages, and Jacob opted for lemon ice.  Carter and I got treats from the chocolate store instead.  After that, I quickly ran into the Walmart across the way to pick up the ingredients for my salad for the reunion.  By the time we got to my parents', it was after 9pm and I think everyone was pretty exhausted.  After catching up with my parents, Carter went down fast and we were all in bed well before 11pm!

We were off just before 9am on Sunday morning so we could make it to church at the camp at 10.  I enjoy church there, as you sit outside among the trees and you can hear the waves from the lake.  The service itself is generally a bit of a wildcard, as sometimes there are visiting pastors and sometimes it's just camp staff.  It's always a very low-key, simple service, but this one actually included two baptisms.  The kids weren't thrilled to sit there, which doesn't bode well for the next month as Sunday School at home takes a break for some construction at that end of the building.  Anyway, once church was over, we unloaded our stuff from the car and the boys were all excited to go off and shoot hoops.

Eventually the reunion got rolling, with some tasty food and good company.  I was thrilled to see my uncle for the first time since a pretty serious bike accident a month ago.  He was riding in a charity bike ride (my mom also did it, but on a shorter route), and he and his friend somehow collided.  He broke his femur near the hip, some ribs, and completely destroyed his elbow.  With the help of a lot of titanium, he is shockingly mobile.  He uses a cane and has a contraption keeping his elbow mobile but protected.  He's generally an exceptionally energetic, positive person, and he's been through hell with this, but he's motivated to get back out hiking and doing all sorts of active stuff, so it's good to see him well on his way.  Perhaps even more exciting was when his sweet new granddaughter (who was only about a week old when all this happened) arrived!  I hadn't seen her yet in person, so I was thrilled to get a chance to hold her!

Say hi to sweet little Lucy!

She was so precious!  Babies are just so great...and maybe even better when you can hand them back when your arms get tired!  Haha!  She just snoozed and stretched and was generally so sweet.  She and her year-older cousin Emmy are going to be best buds in a year or two, I have no doubt.  It's amazing seeing your youngest cousins go through these life stages--of my three youngest, all of whom are sisters, two are married with babies and one is newly engaged.  It's so amazing to realize we're all grown up now and getting into the ages I remember all of our parents being.  But yeah, nothing is like a tiny baby!

Eventually I had to hand Lucy back and follow my own crew down to the beach.  It was an overcast day (though I did still manage some very mild sunburn, somehow), and the waves were huge--probably as large as I've ever seen them there.  The bigger problem, however, is that the lake levels that have wreaked havoc on Lake Ontario have also caused trouble on Lake Erie, and as a result, the beach was half its normal size.  Normally there's plenty of room to play, maybe 30 feet from the back wall to where the water comes in, but it was so much smaller.  If you counted from the wet sand to the back wall, it was probably about 10 feet at most.  That left most of the rest of the beach a rocky mess.  That beach has always been rocky, but in recent years there have been swaths of beach that were better.  But all that was left had lots of rocks and debris.  We still managed to play, but it wasn't quite what it once was. 

Craig took this and he has no idea why Jacob was holding his slides or what his facial expression was about...but it's funny anyway.

The waves were big enough that I was almost nervous to let Carter fill his buckets.  And a couple weeks ago there was a news story about how a dad died from a broken neck after a wave knocked him over, so I was cautious myself.  These waves were probably nothing compared to what did that, but still...I don't think I would have let Carter out swimming, even with a flotation device.  He happily constructed in the sand and collected rocks, even after Craig and Jacob headed up to participate in the family Corn Hole (beanbag) tournament.  I spent a lot of time letting the water wash over my feet while I scoured the rocky sand for beach glass.  I only found one piece this time, which was a bummer, but better than none! 

We were just about ready to start cleaning up to head back when we started feeling some drops.  Sure enough, I could see rain shrouding the land jutting out into the lake about a mile away, and I knew we were about to get hit.  Of course, we had beach toys scattered everywhere, a blanket and towels strewn about, and piles of rocks that the two of us had collected.  There were buckets still full of wet sand, and Carter had his beach shoes off and caked with sand.  As the rain poured down harder, he got antsy and I sent him up to shelter, though he didn't have his shoes on and I was never going to get them on his feet in that rain.  I frantically cleaned up the toys and threw everything in the bag, and then figured out which rocks we wanted most (Carter had his favorites and I was bringing more to edge for our flower bed) and hauled them up as well.  I was rather wet by the time I made it back into the building where the family was hanging out (which, I might add, is different than the shelter where we've always been for this reunion.  The camp has a Sunday brunch now in that shelter, and we are in an actual building that's more centrally located.  The new location is actually the spot of one of my fondest memories at the camp, when I was at a retreat in college and a friend played a group of us Five Iron Frenzy's "These Are Not My Pants" for the first time after our retreat dance party.  We were crying because we were laughing so hard.  Priceless.).  Anyway, once out of the rain I dried off and cleaned up a bit and found out that I won the "Guess How Many Gummy Bears" contest (I guessed 322 and it was 315).  Once Carter and I were out of our wet clothes and I had collected our food dishes, it was time to go!  The rain had cleared up by then, so it was an easy stroll to the car and a pleasant ride back.  And the extra leftover pizza came in handy at home!

Overall, it was a fun weekend with some quality family time.  I'm not sure I've recovered yet since I've had a mild headache all week.  Work is making me a little nuts, and Craig is leaving tomorrow for southern California, where there's a major national box lacrosse tournament that he's covering.  It'll be a challenging few days, but luckily we're going back to Buffalo this weekend for another reunion, so that will kill a little time that I'd otherwise be spending trying to keep the kids away from each other.  With August on the horizon I feel like I'm getting back into that mindset where I have a million things to do and I barely know where to start.  I'm off work on Friday but still have to haul both kids off to their respective places that morning, and I have some considerably less fun things to do with my time that day.  Hopefully I can be productive and take some of the mental load off, but I know how those days usually go.  Never a dull moment this time of year, I guess! 

Private School Panic

I went to private school for the first nine years of my academic career.  I think it was pretty low-key as far as private schools go, as we didn't have uniforms and the school structure never seemed particularly complex to me.  We had a dress code (no shorts, no profane messages, dress up on Wednesdays for chapel), discipline was pleasant enough for a Christian school, and class sizes were very manageable.  Aside from the complexities of dealing with the same dozen or so classmates, give or take a couple each year, for nine straight years, it was a generally positive experience.  I liked most of my teachers, I was well-positioned education-wise when I entered public high school, and given that it was at my church it was a very comfortable place for me.  I had friends (most of the time), I was a cheerleader, our basketball teams won some championships, and I have very fond memories of so many things.  I was probably a bit ill-prepared for the social and structural elements of high school, as changing classes and hallway lockers were relatively foreign concepts to me, and having different kids in every single class took some getting used to.  I still remember the first day anxiety each year of wondering who would be in each class, and always feeling a little disappointed by who wasn't.  But despite those things, adjusting from a class of 13 to a class of 404 went pretty well, all things considered.

Jacob is doing the reverse.  He spent the first six years of his academic career in public school, and now he's headed to private school.  While it probably didn't feel like it at the time, I feel like our public school experience was pretty low-key itself.  We only had a handful of school supplies to buy and he only had a handful of different teachers each year (main teacher, art, music, library, and gym, with the latter four staying mostly the same for at least three years of the six).  His classmates changed each year, but inevitably each year there would be at least a few he knew from other years.  Maybe not his best friends--okay, never his best friends--but at least someone to buddy up with until things got easier.  It got easier to know what to expect, to the extent that Carter's first day last year was mostly only nervewracking because I didn't know how he would respond.  The rest of it was pretty much routine by then.  And bonus points for this year, apparently we'll already know his teacher!

But as far as Jacob goes this year...holy crap, folks.  I am overwhelmed.  I think middle school would be overwhelming enough on its own, but private middle school is something entirely different.  I've already discussed the challenge of summer reading, but there are so many other things I am freaking out about, and we don't start school for nearly six weeks (wait, only six!?).  Here's the top ten:

1) Uniforms - A friend whose kids go to another private school posted on Facebook Friday that they went to take care of his uniforms that day.  I was sort of thinking that I wanted to wait as long as possible so Jacob didn't outgrow them before school started, but now I'm panicked.  For one, his shirts have to be specific shirts from one supplier, and I have no idea if there's an ordering time.  Second, their direction on pants and shoes isn't super specific, so now I'm not sure if we can get more clarification on specific guidelines their web page takes for granted.  Can logos be visible?  Are there certain stores we need to stick to?  What prevents them from being considered "dress pants"?  Can he wear any closed toe shoe, or just dress shoes?  Jacob is super picky, both for style and comfort reasons, so I'm sort of concerned about finding stuff that fits their criteria and his, all on time and without us killing one another in the middle of the store.  I seriously have no idea if a tie every day (well, once golf shirt season is done) is going to make him crazy.  Speaking of ties, we need to find more!  Maybe some of Craig's cast-offs will fit?  Clearly, a lot to figure out here...and that's not even getting into how much this will be costing us, both now and when he inevitably outgrows everything in six months.

2) School supplies - The website posted a lengthy list, and it's apparent that we're going to be joining the ranks of the poor saps looking for the one store that still has a purple, one-inch, three-ring binder and the white two pocket folder for the next many weeks.  I'm going to spend more on his scientific calculator than I probably did on all of his supplies combined in previous years.  Our district--probably because it has its fair share of low-income students--has traditionally provided 95% of the supplies at no cost to us.  Generally we just needed to supply any teacher-specific items (one year it was two reusable shopping bags) and a handful of general classroom supplies like tissues, ziploc bags, or wipes.  There are 22 items on Jacob's list, and it's only going to get worse from here.  My goal is to ask Facebook which online ordering sites are the best, and go from there.  Even if it's a couple bucks more, I'll probably save that in gas trying to find the tricky stuff anyway.

3) Busing - Busing is provided through our district, but it goes into a different district so it seems to get all sorts of complicated.  Given that the school day starts at 8am, and it'll probably take at least 35 minutes to get there, I'm assuming he'll get picked up somewhere in the realm of 7:15am, which is terribly early in our household as it stands currently.  Of course, we won't know that for sure until probably the last minute, as bus passes usually arrive around the last week of August.  That only gives us a week or so to figure out what sorts of crazy adjustments we're going to need to make to ensure this is doable.  Packing lunch at night? Showering at night? Going to bed an hour earlier? Figuring out how to make Jacob actually hear his alarm clock when it goes off? One of us getting up early enough to ensure he not only makes it to the stop but can still get to school on time if he doesn't? And if I get up earlier, can I shift my work schedule so I don't lose that extra morning time?  Because of course, he will be taking the bus directly home in the afternoons, and we've already established how much he hates being home alone.  So if I shift my schedule will that solve that issue?  I have no idea what's possible or necessary right now, and something tells me the first week will not be the ideal time to have to figure it out.  Oh, and since we're in a different district, some days off could be different, and if there's no busing in our district, guess who's on the hook to get him there?  Yay.

4) Academic schedule - Speaking of the different district issue, that also means that the kids will have different days off.  This year was glorious in that if one was off, so was the other, so it felt like a two-for-one when I had to take off work to watch them.  The new academic schedule isn't posted yet for Jacob's school (which is a whole other thing bugging me), but based on last year, there are some super wonky vacations - extra days tacked on to longer holidays, random in-service days, and a crap-ton of half days during exam weeks that I am desperately hoping do not apply to middle school kids.  Given that our district already has a lot of funky days for no apparent reason, it's going to be complicated trying to manage all this time off, especially now that Craig has significantly less vacation than he used to since his job switch.  I have the time to take, honestly, but being able to take it without getting behind or putting my boss in a tough spot will be challenging.

5) Orientation - In addition to not having posted the updated academic schedule, they have not posted the orientation schedule yet.  That would not be a big deal except that it appears to be a three-day process and at least two of those days are half days without busing available.  Which means we'll be on the hook to get him there, get him home, and figure out what to do with him then.  I have no idea if parents are encouraged to stick around or not, as we're at that odd age where maybe it's good for us to be around to help, but maybe we're infringing on newfound independence and being embarrassing just by existing.  Carter will also be done with camp by then, so if parents do stick around, can siblings be there too?  Even if they can, Jacob would NEVER want Carter there to embarrass him further, so who knows what we'll do about that.  Presumably further details may not be available until the last minute, or even at all, so that has me nervous now, too.

6) Changing classes - While it appears that their structure keeps class changes far more minimal than public middle school at this point, just seeing all those different colors of folders and binders needed for his subjects gave me anxiety about how he's going to keep all this stuff straight.  It's going to be far more than he's used to juggling, and presumably there will be more homework to go with all of those folders and binders, so will he ever be able to remember what he needs to bring with him each night?

7) Lockers - As I mentioned, the locker thing definitely took some getting used to when I started high school.  Luckily I had a gym locker through middle school, so I knew how to use a combination lock, but Jacob never has, so that will be challenge #1.  With all of those folders and binders (and presumably books) and their associated homework, how will he keep it neat and organized so he doesn't lose everything?  Based on how his room looks, it will probably be a cesspool in no time.  His supply list included TWO locker shelves, which is actually even more intimidating because it confirms how much stuff will be in there!  Speaking of which, are all locker shelves standard?  Do we need to shop around for this to find better ones, or will any do?  I have no idea.  If I recall correctly, I inherited my brother's contraption of four 2x4 pieces and some plywood because "cute" locker decor didn't even exist back then.

8) Community service - On the academic schedule, I noticed a few community service days.  They appear to be regular school days that will be spent doing community service.  I think that's actually amazing, but I can't help but wonder how he will react to those.  Jacob has never been particularly charitable, and his enthusiasm for things he doesn't relate to can be lacking.  So while I think he can use these lessons immensely, I can't help but wonder how it will go.  Will he be dragging his feet and be generally unhelpful?  Will they go to the old folks' home and he'll either ignore the people he's helping or offend them with some well-intentioned but terribly misguided remark?  No clue.  He did actually like it a couple years ago when we went to stuff soap and washcloth bags for the Operation Christmas Child boxes at church, so maybe he'll surprise me.  Let's just hope in this case that peer pressure is to his benefit.

9) Homework - I know I've sort of already covered this with my summer reading concerns, but beyond just getting used to doing it at home, I wonder about the timing and the quality.  Can he come home from school and avoid the video game trap to do it right away?  Particularly if no one is there to remind/force him?  Will he put in a solid effort, or just rush it to get done?  Can I convince him to do it in quiet, or with only music?  Or will he think he can watch YouTube videos and still properly focus?  This, of course, assumes what I mentioned above--that he will be able to remember, among the large assortment of books and folders from so many classes, what he actually needs to bring home.  I know he will forget things, but the question is, how many times will it have to happen before he learns his lesson?  I have a feeling he is going to have to finally use that agenda he ignored all last year and be diligent about writing it all down.  Yikes.

10) Little Stuff - There's a bunch of random little stuff that I think counts for one big additional ball of stress when combined.  For example, what do big kids use for lunch bags?  I bought lunch in high school, and before that it was plain paper.  But now insulated bags seem to be pretty mainstream...but do big kids use them?  We bought a new Nike one over the weekend because Jacob liked it and it was reasonable, but will we get two days in and he'll be begging for something else "cooler"?  Another issue is events.  The school is doing some sort of summer sale in August, which made me wonder what the parental expectation is.  Do we need to go to these events to feel "accepted"?  Will fundraising events have a mandatory feel to them?  Public school parent participation is minimal (hence the begging for PTA members), but will the pressure be on now with a smaller class?  On a related note, will fundraisers make us crazy because we're already paying tuition?  Will tuition payments alone feel sustainable after one year away from daycare? I see the struggle almost every day at my job with the parental tuition vs. donation issue, so I know it's a possibility.  Finally, will it be weird that Jacob isn't Catholic?  I'm sure they'll do Catholic stuff like the Eucharist and certain prayers, and those will be foreign to him.  There have to be other kids like him, but I have no concept of what kind of weirdness that might cause or how that possible exclusion might make him feel.  We're already struggling a bit because he's supposed to start Confirmation classes this year (we're Lutheran) and dedicating a couple hours to it one night a week (out of two options) has been deemed threatening to his basketball career.  Will he just want to quit that altogether and find a way to be Catholic so he fits in?  I'm sure Craig would be fine with that but I'm a firm believer in our church's youth program so I'd really like him to give that a chance.

And all of the issues above aren't even getting into the big anxieties over Jacob having to make new friends and tackle new academic standards. Will he like the kids in his class and get in with a "good" group of kids, or will he be an outsider?  Will his academic career at this point have prepared him for where their curriculum starts, or did public school do him a disservice?  Will all the changes be too much, or might he have found his perfect groove?  Will it all be for nothing if he doesn't make the basketball team at the first opportunity and wants to bail?  I guess compared to these sorts of massive issues, the little stuff above is super doable.  The good news is that a lot of that will be worked out relatively quickly, but at the very least it means we have a very volatile couple months ahead of us.  If you need me from now until late September, I'll probably be deep breathing in the corner...

A Summer Reading Tale

Once upon a time, there was a girl who loved to read.  She spent many a summer afternoon holed up in her room with a good book, often reading and re-reading books summer after summer.  Her own bookshelf was stocked and well-read, and usually added to each school year when the book fair came to town or her favorite series added a new book.  She'd often go to the library on her bike and bring home a stack of new (or old) books, and devour them one by one.  Children's books she remembered from school, easy readers, kids' craft books, juvenile fiction, Choose Your Own Adventure, Encyclopedia Brown, and finally on to the adult non-fiction and biographies to research various favorites more in-depth.  Every book was exciting!  The opening of the summer reading program was a yearly highlight and a fun challenge.  Subsequent visits to the library to record her success were exciting, and the free book that usually came along with the program was always a treasure.  As she got older and worked her way through her own library's collection, her mom scoured another library system to bring home even more books about her very favorite topic.  It was a love affair that lasted right through high school...one that stopped dead in its tracks when she went to college and reading became sleep-inducing work thanks to the very boring topics it presented.  Alas, the story has a happy ending.  Even though time and life constraints conspire to keep the girl and her books apart, once in a while she comes across a wonderful opportunity for a reunion, and the love affair resumes, perhaps briefly, but it is still love nonetheless.  The end.

Ok, so obviously this story is about me.  But every bit of it is true.  So you can imagine, then, that Jacob's severe aversion to summer reading (well, all reading) not only baffles me, but makes me truly crazy.  I don't know what to do with a kid that hates reading, particularly at a time where he needs to do a bunch of it.

When I was his age I read book after book.  Yes, I watched a ton of TV and played a bunch of computer games, and my bike was my main lifeline to the world outside.  But books were really central to my summer entertainment.  I was that kid with the stack of library books, refreshed as often as possible.  I read multiple series (oh, The Baby-Sitters Club was the best--thanks Heather, for buying all of those and letting me borrow them!), but I also loved the quick crime solvers and Choose Your Own Adventure books, and pored over countless Ed Emberley drawing books.  I remember this one craft book with very detailed, themed craft projects--maybe to create elaborate role-playing props or something?--and how I'd always get it out hoping to make something awesome, only to have it be a bit more than I could muster.  As I got older I had favorites in the adult section, from the inside story of the Monkees (the 60s band who had a resurgence when their old show came back in syndication in the 80s), to a book full of amazing Lego builds and history, to a full historical rundown of Barbie.  I read it all.

Fast forward a decade or so, and yes, I stopped reading for pleasure.  College killed me.  I had to read some of the most painfully boring books--The History of the Peloponnesian War and an in-depth history of the Catawba Indians come to mind off-hand.  I was completely read-out by my breaks, and the internet was far more fun by that point anyway.  I generally fell asleep whenever I did try to read.  Years later I married a fellow Communications professional who has spent most of his career writing, and I've done a fair share of writing myself, and yet we produced a kid who would rather do almost anything but read.  I have actually picked it up again over the last 10 years or so, maybe reading a couple or five books a year when I come across things that interest me.  I love it when I do it and wish I had the time/discipline to read more.

But Jacob just hates it.  I mean, sure, he reads articles on the internet and he gets good grades so he's clearly doing what he needs to at school.  Per his lack of award-winning this spring, I don't think he's necessarily doing as much as he should given his natural abilities, but he's definitely not illiterate.  I'm sure his ADHD plays into it to some degree, and I know he's a boy and an active one at that, so reading is just not high on his list.  He has read books at school, and he seemed to enjoy when we used to read together, but unless it's exactly what he wants to read, it's a losing battle.  Even books by Matt Christopher, which are young fiction books with a sports theme, aren't good enough for him.  Even with that knowledge in mind, nothing prepared me for the hell that is summer reading.

He simply does not want to read.  He will flat out refuse, even though time is ticking away.  He has to read two books, one mandatory (The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White) and one of his choice from a pretty decent list.  The list includes a book he's already read (and apparently enjoyed), so I'm currently debating whether to let him pick that one or force him to broaden his horizons with something new.  With each book he needs to do a dialectic journal, which basically involves pulling ten passages from the book and giving a short commentary on each.  It can talk about symbolism, or how the passage makes you feel, or why you think the character is right or wrong.  It's only about 60 words per commentary, which seems really easy to me.  Not that I want him to do this, but he could practically flip the book open, pick any paragraph, and talk about it.  Considering the usual alternative is a full-on book report that involves full comprehension, this sounds like cake to me.  I understand he's a different kid, but still, it's pretty open-ended.

The Trumpet of the Swan is admittedly a tough choice.  I had never read it before, but as a show of solidarity, I checked two copies out of the library for us so I could read it while he was reading it.  I figured I might be able to pinpoint passages he could talk about, or work through the story with him.  It's not exactly an enthralling book so far.  It has talking swans (in the same vein as Charlotte's Web), who have five baby cygnets, and a little boy who watches them.  Apparently one swan can't trumpet and I believe this will be the story of him finding his voice, but I can't say a 6th grade boy would find any of this interesting.  That said, I've read a lot of boring books in my life, and I'm of the belief that learning how to struggle through them is an important skill.  He'll be doing this for the next 10 years or so, so he might as well get used to it now.

Of course, stupid me, I went and posted about this on Facebook, and at first things seemed positive.  My one principal friend did suggest audio books, which I'm torn about.  Yes, kids learn differently and we should not reasonably withhold tools to do so.  However, there won't always be an audio book available, and even if there is, I'm not comfortable with the precedent of paying for them for the next 10 years.  And anyway, in this case I think it's less about the content of the book and more about the process, so I can't say I'm super worried about comprehension to the degree that I might be with a book report or a test.

Other parents commiserated and shared that they're struggling with their kids, too.  But then another teacher chimed in.  To be fair, she deals with kids Jacob's age and specializes in special needs students.  She started out by going through the list of books he can choose from and giving a quick opinion/synopsis of each, which was really helpful.  I may have Jacob sit down and read through them to see if any of the ones she highly recommended sound good to him.  And heck, if not, I may read some!  Where I started to get frustrated is where she essentially invalidated my concern with wanting him to push through the process.  Now, she addressed it to everyone--not just me--but it was clear she was directing it at something I had said.  She said she's never seen a lazy student--just ones who learn differently and need different tools.  But with all due respect, Jacob is lazy...or at least has other priorities.  If  it isn't easy for him, he's not really interested.  Boredom is his sworn enemy, and if he thinks something is the least bit boring, he will find every possible other thing to do.  He has no problem reading and has the cognitive ability to comprehend what he's reading.  He simply doesn't feel like it.  If he was in school, this probably wouldn't be an issue.  He apparently read a lot of books at school.  But he has very rarely had homework to do at home since around 2nd grade.  He did most of it at the afterschool program, so our homework battles have been minimal.  He's never had a major take-home project.  As a result, doing school work at home is foreign to him, and the fact that it's supposed to be his summer break makes it worse.

One of the suggestions was to read with him and to him, to the point of alternating pages.  Look, I will do that if we're reading for pleasure like we used to, but this is a school assignment.  I'm not going to sit down and do a couple of his math problems, so I'm not going to read a few pages of his book either.  I will read next to him, I will talk it through with him, I will give him suggestions.  But he is capable of reading by himself.  I have enough to do on a daily basis without him expecting me to sit down and do his homework with him.  I won't be doing that with him at college, so no time like the present to learn.  At this age, he should be learning independence and finding some self-motivation.  If he physically needs me nearby to support him so he doesn't feel like he's suffering alone, that's one thing--please tell me that and we can work it out.  But call me crazy, I do not want him dependent on me for his homework.  I did my own 6th grade homework by myself, so I do not need to do his, too.

And before you think I just don't understand how he learns or why he's resistant, just know that I am the queen procrastinator.  I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if I someday got diagnosed with adult ADHD.  I get distracted so easily if I'm not in a state of hyperfocus with a very specific task at hand.  The internet is a terrible distraction for me, and a smart phone has made it worse.  Despite being a good student, I had very similar troubles with talking in class, and I'm an epic daydreamer.  So trust me, I relate to him more than one might expect.  We may be different people but we are more alike than either of us would like to admit.  In this case it just so happens that I probably enjoy focusing on books more than him, whereas he's permanently stuck on sports, but I was a bit of a lazy student myself.  However, I was also a people-pleaser and valued good grades, so not getting in trouble and seeing good grades come in were important enough to me that they were motivation to get my work done.  But I would avoid it as much as I could, which is why to this day I will not consider going to graduate school.  There are way too many distractions in my house and studying would always come last.  The point is, I get it, at least to some degree.

This person on Facebook suggested an $8 per month Audible subscription (sorry, not in the budget right now) and compared withholding tools like that to making someone with a physical disability go without a wheelchair, among other things.  She specifically said how much it upsets her when someone talks about having a student push through (which I specifically said Jacob needs to do).  Maybe that's the case with her students who have legitimate learning struggles, but I truly believe Jacob's patience and willingness to do the work are a bigger struggle for him than any sort of learning issue.  Could we all use some sort of tool to better learn things?  Sure.  But most of us made it through the educational system without listening to an audio book while we read.  Did some get lost in the system because they couldn't?  Probably, and that's unfortunate.  But I don't think he's at risk for that.  I think he needs to adjust to having to do more work, and to do it at home.  Maybe I'll change my mind as we go through the school year.  But right now, I'd like to believe he can do it himself.  And honestly, I'd like him to believe in himself, too.

And you know what's happened in the days since we had a big blowup about it?  He's been reading.  I don't know yet that he's retaining, because he won't take notes or anything, but perhaps that will be a learning experience itself when he has to go back and figure out what he's going to journal.  Perhaps that will change his process for the second book.  We're far from out of the woods, but I'm encouraged that he's trying.

In the meantime, I'm reading, too.  It's definitely boring.  Tonight I fell asleep, in fact.  But we'll both get through it.  One chapter at a time.

"Mom, why are you so tired?"

On Sunday afternoon, as I was trying to snooze a bit between Carter's soccer game and some family time in the pool, Jacob said to me, "Mom, why are you so tired all the time?"  I'll be honest--I had attempted the same kind of cat nap on Saturday as well, once again in between soccer and pool time, and it does tend to happen quite a bit on the weekends.  I'll get through morning stuff and making lunch, and finally get a chance to sit down and relax, only to realize I'm falling asleep while looking at my phone.  So, I'll try to rest.  It would probably be far more productive to go to my bed, but then I'm afraid I'll sleep too long and end up groggy, so I nod off on the chair because I don't have enough will to move myself anywhere else.  It's not a great habit but I'm not sure how to break it either.

When he asked that question, I instantly had about a dozen answers go through my head.  "If you only knew," was probably the thing I most wanted to say, as I figured an endless laundry list might be overkill.  I responded that I always have a lot on my mind and a lot of decisions to make throughout the week, and usually in the case of those weekend snoozes, I often haven't sat down in a couple hours and I'm just plain tired.  When my brain gets a minute to shut off, apparently it does so with little hesitation.

To his credit, he asked if there was anything he could do to help me out.  It's a nice offer, but considering he did his two assigned chores this week for the first time in at least a couple weeks, I can't say I have faith that adding to that would really help.  I'm generally torn between wanting things to get done and needing them to get done right, and ultimately wanting them done without nagging.  Could I have him set the table or wash dishes or hardcore clean his room?  Sure, but I also don't want the stress of having to convince him to do it when the novelty wears off, or be a dictator about how it's done.  In some cases, sure, I can ease off and just be happy he's doing it (hello, vacuuming the kitchen floor), but I'd rather not have to rearrange the dishwasher or the cabinets, or glue yet another knickknack, or growl constantly about getting off his phone or away from the video games to do it.  If an allowance isn't enough of a motivator, what will be?  I can't even get him to willingly do his mandatory summer reading right now, and despite periods of losing his phone, he's still resistant and I feel like a constant nag.  So there's that.  And I actually told him as much later, that if he wants me to be less tired, finding a way to behave (around his brother and in general) so I don't have to scream like a banshee would be a huge help.  But yeah, good luck with that.

So why am I so tired?  I've actually thought a lot about this lately because it's been a tough couple weeks for self-motivation.  Ironically, as Craig has gotten more active and lost a bunch of weight, I've been having a heck of a time convincing myself to work out or eat well.  I think part of it is still just recovery from a tough June at work (and at home, honestly, with all of the school year-end stuff), and a short vacation that was anything but relaxing.  I haven't taken any more time at work because I feel guilty that the kids are at camp and we'd be paying for it even if I took them out.  I don't want to take time for no concrete reason either, because inevitably I'll later figure out some good reason to do it and then feel bad about taking too much time.  Also, my days off are a very delicate balance--if I try to rest I feel like a slug and hate myself for wasting the day, but if I try to fill my day with productivity, I'm exhausted.  Less stressed about whatever projects I did, and maybe more fulfilled by a fun activity, but tired nonetheless.  So how do I find that balance?

I've also thought about it lately because I finally got to read "The Valedictorian of Being Dead" by blogger Heather Armstrong, a.k.a. Dooce.  I've followed her for years, and her struggles with depression were pretty well documented.  She went through horrible post-partum depression, and it was clear that post-divorce she was struggling a bit.  More recently, she laid low for a few years--her blog was quiet, her social media a bit sparse and vague--and I mostly just assumed her daughters were ready to be out of the mommyblogger spotlight and she was just moving on.  Well, it turned out that she was actually going through about 18 crippling months of depression hell, and her desperation to beat it culminated in being part of an experimental treatment where they used the drug propofol to bring her brain activity down to just about zero--in essence a tightly controlled medically induced coma--for ten sessions over a few weeks.  The treatment is meant to "reset" the brain and mimic the effects of other more extreme treatments like shock therapy, without the same side effects.  The book recounted the period of time before and during those treatments, and the title is in reference to her striving to be the best at everything in life, and she was really good at being dead-ish for those ten sessions.  Fortunately, the treatment worked for her and life has been remarkably better since.

Now, I'm sure I'm not depressed, though I did read a description about functional depression a while back that I related to quite a bit.  And many times over the last few years, mostly with kid struggles and general life frustrations piling up, I've considered getting myself a therapist to talk through it all--mostly to proactively avoid things ever getting worse.  But the way I've been feeling lately (and periodically at other times), where I just can't seem to motivate myself to do certain things, no matter how much I know I should, felt very similar to her describing her angst with mundane things like emptying the dishwasher or getting up in the morning to get her daughters through the morning rush.  She was a full-time single mom with a full-time job, and all of the the things were just crushing her.  Clearly I manage to get myself out of bed, shower, and move a household along every day, and do a good job at work, so I know I'm far from where she was.  But to some degree, that weighed down feeling of "I just can't" is not far off from where I've felt about working out and meal planning and just generally functioning over the past few weeks.  So many things feel like a struggle, like I will internally collapse if I have to get off this chair and do just 20 minutes on the elliptical.  Even workouts that generally make me feel empowered, like a run or bike ride, hold no interest.  Meal planning has been hellish.  Every day I know I need to plan something, but I can't bring myself to figure it out because everyone likes different things and I don't want us to get sick of what we can agree on.  Jacob's gluten issues combined with Craig's newer lactose intolerance have left me clueless.  Inevitably I'll get home from work, freak out about it for too long, then finally decide on some sub-par choice and be annoyed when we're eating super late.  Sports complicates this as well, and in the end it all just makes the exercise aversion worse because the last thing I want to do after the post-work rush and dinner making is go work out for a half hour.  I just want to sit and do nothing before the bedtime routine hits.  Even after bedtime, I'm trying to cram in as much "me time" as I can, so I push bedtime back farther than I should, and end up with far less sleep than I need, which only makes the next days harder.  It's a vicious cycle that I feel like I should be able to get out of, but right now I feel a little stuck with every single step.

And that's pretty much where I was during those nap attempts over the weekend.  I didn't really want to waste my day doing that, but I also didn't have the will to get up and figure out what I should be accomplishing.  I think sometimes I paralyze myself when all the things I need to be doing are overwhelming me.  I want to do them but don't feel like I can, but also feel guilty doing something less important...so I do nothing.  And yes, I'm well aware how stupid that sounds.

Jacob hates when either of us naps the day away, because unlike Carter who's content to just sit and watch TV (ugh), Jacob wants to be doing things.  However, he prefers to do them with people.  He wants to play basketball with someone else and he wants to swim as a family.  You'd think having a sibling as a built-in playmate would have been helpful, but he's either too particular about how he wants to do things (like, God forbid the hoop be too low or the ball be too light if he tries to play with Carter), or the times they do manage to play together turn into some epic battle over some perceived injustice on one side or the other.  So that means one of us has to be available, and if it's not me I feel guilty and if it is me I'm annoyed I can't be resting, too.  I should be better about having backup activities planned when we get in a rut like this, but again, that just hasn't been something I've had the energy to muster lately.  My kids are growing up far too fast and I know I'll regret all of the playing I didn't do and the screen time I allowed to happen instead, but sometimes I just don't know how to get out of that rut.

I've talked about the mental load before, and that's definitely what a lot of this is. It's keeping track of everything from what we should be eating on which night and what appointments we have this week, to what Jacob needs for his field trip and who's running out of shampoo.  Wrangling the kids is exhausting, as they simply can't leave each other alone and neither one will ever admit they started it.  It's sort of a chicken-and-egg situation--maybe Carter just did something out of the blue, but maybe Jacob said something unintentionally jerky and Carter reacted.  Or maybe Carter did something harmless that Jacob took the wrong way, and Jacob overreacted.  It's always some sort of chain of events like that, where you never quite know what started the dominoes falling, so once they've fallen, it's hard to know who to punish.  I often feel like we're sports referees who are perpetually, unknowingly calling an instigator penalty on the one who was actually retaliating for something else.  We're both so exhausted by the constant back-and-forth.  Today, because Jacob insisted that our interference in their fights were making them worse, the therapist suggested we try to stay out of them.  Anyone want to bet on how long it will take before someone's in the ER?

On top of everything else, there are house projects that need to be contracted out, ever-present yard work, needing to manage my health and weight, trying to keep our marriage strong despite limited time and energy, frustrations with work, and lack of a social life to refresh us and help balance it all.  On a day-to-day basis, it's tiring, but there's so much to do and a routine to stick to, so it's usually easier to push through.  But on weekends when there's unstructured, unscheduled time and all of the household work is physically in front of me, it's easier for all of the things to start overwhelming me.  And I think that's why I'm just so tired.  It's all just too much to process, let alone do.

Some days are better than others.  I'm fine, I promise.  But Jacob's right--I'm tired.

Sports, Sports Everywhere!

You'd think our sports schedule would have gotten easier once Jacob's lacrosse season ended, but Carter is now keeping us busy!

This past Tuesday he started lacrosse!  It's just the micro lacrosse program (much like soccer that he did last year, and Jacob did five years earlier), so it's a very low key learning opportunity.  They do a few skills, some drills, play active games like Sharks vs. Minnows, and eventually finish up with a bean bag tossing scrimmage that mimics the feel of passing in a lacrosse game, without sticks and balls and kids who can't catch.  He seems to be enjoying it...but of course he would since an open area to run is pretty much his dream!

Craig put him in a Jacob hand-me-down for his first session, a Hamilton Nationals Joe Walters shirt.  The Nationals no longer exist and Rochester native Joe Walters has been playing elsewhere for years!

Waiting his turn for a drill

Playing defense

He caught me!  Just look at that face!

Here he is running a scoring drill...



I think he was actually supposed to be the defender after that, which is why I kept filming...but I think he got confused.  Oh, well...the other kid didn't seem to care.  So far so good, except that Jacob is so unhappy that Carter is playing the sport he now hates so much that he wants to pretend it doesn't exist.  It's so annoying.

Wednesday was what we thought was Carter's last soccer game.  However, when his coach emailed the reminder for that game, she mentioned two weekend games as part of the annual "Soccerfest" that the organization runs.  It looks a lot like a tournament but seems to be league teams only, with a few "fun" games thrown in.  So we were playing both Saturday and Sunday at 11:10am, which thankfully worked out for us, but meant we'd be sitting in dreadful heat at least one of the two days!

The weather on Wednesday started out sketchy, but managed to clear up in time for a pleasant evening.  Craig couldn't make that game due to a work commitment, and since it was the last evening game and the boys had been wanting to hit up the ice cream stand next to the fields all season, it seemed like an appropriate ice cream for dinner night!  I had what I think was my favorite ice cream (Deer Tracks, though they didn't call it that but it had the exact same composition of espresso ice cream, thick fudge ripples, and toffee pieces), Carter had a shake, and Jacob had soft serve with cotton candy crunch sprinkles!  Yum!

Friday was a brutally hot day, and Saturday was going to follow suit.  Both days were in the 90s with a dangerously high heat index.  Even though the humidity was clearly higher, it reminded me so much of Las Vegas, with how it felt like you walked into a blast furnace every time you came out of air conditioning into the heat.  Even at night it felt like the mid-80s, so it was a shock to the system when you walked outside and there wasn't even a hint of coolness.

It was already in the mid-80s and feeling like mid-90s when we got to soccer at 11am.  Thankfully we've had a lot of hot lacrosse tournaments to get good at this stuff, and if we can survive 6-8 hours in it, we could certainly do an hour!  We brought extra water and a spray bottle, and were thrilled when we found out that our fields actually had some shade--mostly where we were sitting, but it was good for the players during water breaks, too!  We already knew one teammate was camping that weekend, and then found out from the only other parents that were there on time that two other kids had other plans that day, so we were lucky to have four kids, just enough to field a team.  The kids were troopers.  They played so well, and Carter's team won.  He also had a really nice assist!  He even got to lead the handshakes...

He was one sweaty kid, but he really does look good in that uniform, doesn't he?

And yes, those cleats are either solely baseball cleats or maybe just general "sports" cleats, but they were Jacob's and in good shape, so I wasn't going to spend $30 on new ones if this was going to be a one-and-done!

A well-earned rest!

After lunch, Craig had to go work the Knighthawks table at Shootout for Soldiers, the 24-hour lacrosse game that Craig helped emcee and Jacob participated in last year, so it was just me and the boys for the afternoon and dinnertime.  We spent some time in the pool, as it was really the best way to beat the heat!  In there it almost felt like a nice, normal summer day.  The water was warm (although cooler than the air, so it took a moment to adjust), and I was pretty content floating around on my raft.  The boys still managed to make it challenging, of course, because when there's squirting toys or any sort of competition (like a basketball hoop), there will be fighting.  Still, it was nice, but eventually the air conditioning beckoned and we retreated to the house.  When Craig got home after dinner we went our separate ways to shop.  Craig and the boys went to Dick's and some shoe stores (for guess who? 😒), and I went to Kohl's as there were a couple coupons to stack and I needed some essentials.  I ended up with new denim capris (since I can now wear them to work), new shorts (I discovered when we traveled that if I had any shorts already dirty that I could barely get through a weekend with what I have), and ::gasp:: a new bathing suit.  It's not exactly my dream suit, but I've been on the hunt for a structurally sound tankini.  I love my one piece suit, but it's not practical for day-long use since you have to take down the whole thing to pee.  I also like my other tankini, but the way the top is cut around the cleavage, it's a little more prone than I'd like to moving if faced with a small child tugging or a rush of water--say, a waterslide or a quick burst forward to swim.  I've never exposed myself, thankfully, but I'd been looking for years for something more.  Oh, and neither of my current suits look right if I wear them under clothes.  The separates I found seem to fit right, don't squeeze, cover my butt as much as can be expected, and seem to cover and shape as needed up top.  Still not 100% thrilled, but it will do...especially since 85% of my bathing suit wearing happens in my backyard.  Oh, and it was pretty much half the price of most suits.  And I have $15 of Kohl's cash to buy a pair of bike shorts (yes, 90s style tight ones) because they're the only thing comfortable to wear for running or biking in the summer, and my one pair is not enough.

On Sunday morning we rushed around to get to church and be prepared to go directly to soccer.  And I made the last minute decision to take my car in for an overdue oil change before we start hitting a bunch of weekends where Craig is gone.  We then had to rush from church just to make it to the field almost on time.  This time there were five kids, but we were stuck in the sun (and I'd left the umbrellas as home since I expected to be in the shade again--oops).  It was a bit cooler on Sunday but the sun still felt flaming hot on my skin every time it popped out from the clouds.

This game was by far the highest scoring game they've had, and while it stayed tight for most of the game, Carter's team blew them out near the end.  One of the other parents even got a little snippy with the coach about their celebrations (but it wasn't in a bad way--just keeping consistent with the good sportsmanship of congratulating each other).  In the end, no goals for Carter this season, but he played hard and learned a lot.  And he was so excited to get this:

His own medal!

The team also had a chance to dunk their coach in the dunk tank!

She's up there...and no, they did not stand back very far!

And down she goes, first shot!

With the hot weather, apparently Craig was jealous of our ice cream night on Wednesday, because he suggested going to get ice cream for lunch.  We had been talking about going to Lugia's, which isn't far from our house.  We rarely go there--I think because it's a tad pricey--but they have a lot of lactose-intolerant-friendly items for Craig so we wanted to check it out again.  As we walked up and pondered our order, I noticed a camera crew.  It was like a flashback to Toronto!  It was a local TV station, and apparently it was National Ice Cream Day!  I guess we must look like a nice family, because once again someone approached us and asked if we'd go on camera.  My TV days are over, but of course Craig is cool with it.  At first it was just him, but then Carter got chatty!

Of course, much like Toronto, Craig was the only one that made the cut.  I have no idea how long this link will work, but you can see the segment here.  And just when you thought the rest of us avoided the spotlight, they posted the story on Facebook and this was the image they used:

Oh look, it's my head and all of us trying to figure out what to order!

In all of the chaos, I neglected to tell Craig that the sizes are crazy there, so imagine his surprise when his medium arrived looking like this...

Our treats were great, and then it was back home for more pool time!  And Craig did a lot of yard work, too, so kudos to him!  Yay for a crock pot dinner and cooler weather this week (although the fall-like, rainy weather today can go back on vacation for a couple months).  Now we're back down to one sport for a while, at least until we figure out Jacob's basketball possibilities.  Next week is a big week, too--Carter is starting camp #2, and Jacob gets to go to a real basketball camp with a real college coach!  Not looking forward to shaking up two schedules at once, but what is summer without being totally off routines?

News and Notes, Summer Bucket List Edition

I guess I just need to do a general roundup from the last week or so...so here goes!

Carter was supposed to start micro lacrosse last Tuesday, much like the micro soccer program both he and Jacob did, but on Monday was I was home alone with the boys and trying to cook dinner, the boys were making each other crazy and somehow in the middle of a Nerf gun battle or something, Carter slipped down the stairs and hurt his foot.  There wasn't any visible bruising or swelling, but since it still hurt him in the morning, we opted to skip lacrosse that evening just to be safe.  It was actually feeling much better by the evening, though, which was a relief, especially after talking to a co-worker that broke her foot just by falling and twisting it awkwardly.

On Wednesday Carter was back at it for soccer.  Hard to believe this week will be his last game!  It was a very hot day, and as we sat there watching, it started to rain!  There was literally one big dark cloud, and one blob on the radar, and sure enough, it hit us!  Luckily it was warm enough to not be that bothersome, though I was happy I grabbed my chair umbrella just in case it was too hot or the dark cloud did turn into rain!  You can barely see it in this picture, but afterward, a rainbow came out!

Rainbow is on the left, Carter is on the right

Thursday was 7-11, a.k.a. Free Slurpee Day, and I promised Jacob that we could stop for Slurpees at the 7-Eleven that's right near where we hop on the highway to go home.  We only had to wait a couple minutes, and gladly walked out with our treats.  He got blueberry lemonade with a little cherry, and I got a Sour Patch Kid Orange flavor. 

I had given Craig the head's up that we were doing that on our way home, and we found out as we were driving that he took Carter, too!  The closest one to home is a bit of a hike as we'd had a couple closer ones close in recent years, but they went to the same one Jacob and I went to last year after his doctor appointment.  Carter was pretty excited about his!  

I actually got to enjoy a second one that night, as Craig had filled a cup with what he thought Carter wanted, and when he wanted something else, Craig didn't end up drinking it.  I managed to salvage it in the freezer, and it made for a yummy evening treat!  Any sort of frozen carbonated beverage seems to be my weakness right now--Icee, lurpee, Taco Bell Freeze, Speedway Freeze (but NOT Slush Puppies).  I could drink one every day, I think!

On Friday night, we managed to finish up dinner early enough to fit in a s'mores session in the backyard.  It's definitely one of our must-dos for the summer!  Aside from some bug bites, it was nice to be outside!

Somewhere during the week, I discovered what appeared to be a large patch of poison ivy in the back of our yard where the blackberries are.  Craig's brother had mentioned it at Jacob's birthday party, and when I finally got back there to look, sure enough the leaves looked like what I had seen of poison ivy in pictures.  However, I have never really had to deal with it, so I wasn't entirely sure.  Even internet opinion based on pictures I posted was mixed, but I figured I'd have to gear up and try to get rid of it if I could.  I sort of obsessed over it for the rest of the week and dreaded having to take it on this weekend.  Bug bites are bad enough, let alone poison ivy, from everything I've heard.  We'd never had any back there, so this surprised me, but I've heard a couple incidents of it randomly popping up this year, so who knows?  I only bring it up with the picture above because as we sat there roasting marshmallows I was staring at the patch just wondering how I was going to tackle it!

On Saturday, I got out early-ish to take a run.  I've been slacking a bit with workouts, between our busy schedule and just being plain tired, so I had to fit it in.  I did a solid 2.75 miles, but man, was it ever hot by the end!  By the time I came home and got cleaned up, my next goal was to take Carter to the bank.  He's had very limited screen time over the past week or so because of some nasty behavior that resulted from him not wanting to stop watching TV at mealtime (and it's much the same at bedtime).  He's had to find some other things to do, and apparently that included digging into his banks and checking out his stash!  We discovered that his chrome-looking bear bank he received as a baby gift had a bigger top slot than exit hole, and therefore once we finally dumped out change and pulled out folded up bills, we found that there were 36 half dollars trapped in there!  Ugh!  Eventually I managed to tip the bank and angle the coins to get them all out of the top slot, but it was definitely a project.  Over the course of the week, we separated the piles and got all of his change rolled.  We kept the "special" coins (half dollar and dollar coins) and put them into a different bank, along with a couple two dollar bills.  We ended up depositing $126 into his account, and that didn't even include $6.50 in pennies that I had to roll later because I ran out of penny sleeves.  Not too shabby!  We finished up our outing with a stop at the library, mostly to get Jacob's summer reading book #1 (which I got a copy of, too), but also to give us some new reading material for Carter and for bedtime.  Trying to get both kids to read is nearly impossible, but Jacob's in particular must be done!  He needs to write up some sort of journal for his two books this summer.  He's already read one of the books on the list he's allowed to pick from (book #1 is mandatory), so I'm currently debating whether I let him just do that one, or force him to read something else.  Either way the whole thing is going to be painful!

That afternoon, we had some lovely pool time.  It was rather hot, around 90, though we were shocked by how cool the pool was.  Initially Jacob wasn't even going to stay in!  I did some minor yard work to get myself extra hot and sweaty so it would hopefully feel more refreshing.  It was a bit painful to get in, but once I was situated on my raft chair (half in, half out), it was lovely to float around (when the kids weren't torturing one another, anyway).  After that, we did a family trip to Walmart for pool supplies, a replacement chair raft (the one I was using finally ripped after many years in the sun), and sunglasses to replace my backup pair that got stolen.  Oh, and speaking of which, they recovered my laptop!  Someone sold it at a pawn shop, but when the cops talked to the suspect, apparently he blamed it on someone using his stolen license, and of course the shop has no video to prove whether or not it was actually him, so even though the university would have liked to press charges, they can't.  I'm picking it up tomorrow, but sadly it was wiped so I'll just be turning it into IT and spending the next year getting ticked off every time I realize another file I lost.  So annoying.

After dinner at home, we crossed off another summer bucket list item--mini golf!  The boys have been asking to go for weeks, and it was a perfect night for it.

I know it's weird, but I love the landscaping on this course, and this trip was no exception.

These were tiny but so cute!

No idea what these were either, but they were so pretty!

Jacob and I teamed up again, and lucky for him, I played the game of my life!

I tried to get a picture of Carter, but this is the best I could get...

Both kids picked up holes in one, and aside from a rough front nine for Craig, it was really a very good round of golf for the whole crew.  Maybe by next year we'll get a little stricter on how we score Carter, but he's pretty decent regardless!

Jacob and I came out with the victory, and the kids were excited as usual to go into the arcade!

Jacob wasn't at his best on the basketball game that night, but we picked up some additional e-tickets to add to what he won on his field trip a couple weeks back (and Craig and Carter added to when they picked him up that day).  But then Carter was dying of thirst, and since it appears they removed their drinking fountain and I refused to pay $2 for water when we were five minutes from home and it was 9pm, we opted to cut it short.  On the bright side, we caught this pretty sky on the way home...

Sunday was church and a lot of relaxing.  I eventually dragged myself out into the yard, covered from head to toe in clothing despite 80+ degree weather, to tackle the possible poison ivy.  As I tried pulling it, I realized that a) I was never going to get it all; b) no roots were coming out; and c) I wasn't sure it was poison ivy at all.  I gave up after probably 30-45 minutes, stripped down in the laundry room, showered, and set about Googling.  In the end, I have concluded it is goutweed, which is an invasive groundcover.  I'm not 100% positive, but I'm pretty sure.  The plants weren't ivy-like, shiny, or doing any climbing.  The stems were green, not red.  They were literally a stem with three leaves on top.  They all broke off right at ground level, not a chance of a root.  Then I found a couple spots where there seemed to be a flower coming out of a patch of similar leaves.  The flower was probably a foot tall, white with tiny little mini-flowers making up a larger bloom.  And when I Googled and found the goutweed flower that looked identical, I felt much better.  I'm still going to keep an eye on it, avoid it if I can, and see if it turns red in the fall.  As long as I can get to my blackberries, we're good!

On Sunday we also saw that Jacob's old lacrosse team won their last tournament of the season.  They won all but one, and this one was an embarrassingly dominating effort.  Like, they probably shouldn't have been in that tournament because they killed everyone.  I had a really hard time looking at posts from other parents, gushing about the team and the program.  Yes, that used to be us...but having seen the other side, when you're not part of the "family" anymore, it sucks.  Still, a year later.  One of these days I need to unlike the organization's Facebook page.  I'd feel bad unfriending two of the moms because I genuinely like them, so I won't, but it's not easy to see their posts.  Truth be told, Jacob probably would have been miserable on that team again this year, but it still pisses me off that he never got a real chance last year.  I think the coach is a jerk, frankly.  It just disappoints me so much that something that seemed so great ended up so not great. Whether or not basketball would have overtaken lacrosse had all of his lacrosse circumstances been different over the past 15 months, I don't know.  But I think lacrosse would have had a much better chance to survive if his town team wouldn't have lost every game for a year and if he'd had a chance to play more last summer.  I think it just broke his spirit, and at the perfect time basketball was there for him and made him feel successful again.  We miss the families and I miss the idea of him growing up with those kids, but clearly it just wasn't in the cards.  Tryouts are this week, and I won't miss that stress one bit.  I wouldn't wish what we've been through on anyone, but I'll be interested to see if anyone else joins our "club".  Doubtful since they're so good, but they were pretty darn good last year, too, and that didn't seem to matter. 
But, like I said, we're back at it tonight, so I guess my time off as a lacrosse mom was short-lived!

Other than that, we're savoring our time as a family before Craig hits a number of weekends on the road for work.  We'll have plenty to do in his absence, it seems, and before we know it summer will be over.  So, hopefully we can cross more off the summer bucket list this weekend!