A Celebratory Weekend

We had a couple special days over the weekend for two of the people in our house.  Jacob's birthday was Saturday, and Father's Day was Sunday.  While things definitely looked a bit different this year due to social distancing and all that's been happening lately, we did our best to have a couple special days.

On Saturday, Jacob requested cinnamon rolls for breakfast, along with a Tim Hortons' run for fun drinks for everyone (iced cappuccinos for him and me, and frozen lemonades for Craig and Carter).  Carter also downed a bunch of donuts!

Next we moved on to presents.  We had warned Jacob there wasn't a lot since one of his gifts was still in transit and he'd already recently gotten new clothes (including what he's wearing in the picture below) and a new gaming headset to finally replace the less-reliable Five Below ones--although his most recent issue may have been caused by his controller, which we were able to replace for free...but it's probably fine anyway since we know he'll use the headset a bunch.

He was eager to open the big one that didn't match anything on his list...

...and it turned out to be a shoe rack!  He loves his shoe collection (even the outgrown ones) and currently has a bit of a haphazard setup in his closet.  I figured this one could display them a bit better.  As you can see, he was happy about it!

He also got a pair of shorts he wanted...

I ended up buying him a bunch of snacks, too, just so he had something else to open.

Clockwise from the bottom left--a can of gluten-free Pringles-style chips, M&M candy bar in crispy (since most snacks with crispies aren't GF), Haribo Starmix (which he adorably tried to share with me, but I told him it was all for him), Ruffles Jalapeno Lime chips (complete with NBA branding), Cheetos Jalapeno Cheese, peanut M&Ms, Ice Breakers mints, and two Airheads.

He wanted some family time in the pool, which didn't work out ideally with Carter's current anti-pool attitude, but we did have some nice time with three of us.  The weather was perfect for it.  We also ordered Red Robin to eat at home (so good!) and we had cupcakes for dessert.

We finished off the night by watching a movie of Jacob's choice, complete with popcorn.  He seemed pretty happy with his day, though he's definitely looking forward to his party (whenever we do that) and his gifts that are yet to arrive.

On Sunday, we got up and watched church before getting ready to head out to Buffalo.  I was a little nervous because I woke up with a bit of a sore throat and some congestion.  I was hopeful it was just allergies, but I was a bit concerned because I gave blood on Thursday and had to take down my mask a bit to eat my post-donation snack.  I also didn't sleep that well, so I was hopeful it was just tiredness, but I brought my mask for indoor wearing, just in case.  I felt a bit better as the day wore on, but the post-nasal drip seems to be hanging in there bit today.  Before we left, Craig got his Father's Day gift--two 20-pound weights to complete his home gym.  They were very hard to find, so I was thrilled I was able to grab them last week.

They were hiding in my trunk, so I just brought them out to the porch and covered them with a blanket.

We spent the day with Craig's parents.  His brother's family headed out on their own weekend adventure, so while it was unfortunate we couldn't give our niece and nephews their birthday and graduation gifts in person, it was nice to have quieter time to spend with Craig's parents.  It was the first time we'd been able to hang out with them since mid-March.  We ordered dinner in and sang happy birthday to Jacob with amazing gluten-free cupcakes.

Pardon me with the mask in the background...

Jacob loved his first gift from them, which was a really cool throwback Raptors jersey.  After eating, we enjoyed some time in their heated pool.  The boys loved how warm it was and enjoyed having a deep end to keep things interesting.  Jacob felt pretty good once he realized he could swim across it just fine, since I think he thought he might have false confidence from being able to touch the bottom of our four-foot pool.  But he did well, which puts all of our minds at ease!  I think Carter needs to learn ASAP, because his floatie seems to be at its weight limit since he's not very high in the water anymore.  He'll be able to touch much more comfortably by next summer, but it's still pretty close right now--on his tiptoes and head held high in a slightly more shallow section of the pool is all he can muster currently.

We had a really nice time there, and since his cousins weren't there to hang out with, Jacob sat with the adults and got to hear some interesting stories from Craig's dad's time in the military.  I cherish the time I had to listen to my grandfather's stories of life on the farm and away at war, so I was happy Jacob had that chance, too.  And I know Craig's dad really appreciated having us there, too.  One of these days I'll make it up to my dad, who was OK with me not coming in--but I have time off coming up so I might go hang out there for a day or so soon.  

We got home just after bedtime and Carter was actually happy to go right to bed!  We weren't too far behind since it had been a long day.  As a whole it was a low-key but very pleasant weekend.  I'm looking forward to the continuation of Jacob's birthday at some point soon, and ready for another week back at work before two weeks off.  I'm hoping we can find a few fun things to do with our time during those weeks so we don't drive one another nuts!    

Twelve!

Dear Jacob,

What a crazy year it has been.  You gave up lacrosse for good, embraced basketball full time, won a championship, started a new school, dealt with a lot of related ups and downs, and are now navigating this crazy coronavirus quarantine.  In the middle of all of that, you've grown up so much.  You're almost as tall as me, and your shoes are officially bigger than mine.  It's hard to believe that the tiny baby who changed our lives 12 years ago today is now a legit big kid and only a year away from being a teenager.  

Basketball was definitely the theme of this year!  Last summer was a game-changer when you finished up lacrosse and started playing basketball full-time.  Upward was fun in the winter, but when you joined up with the summer leagues and started playing with some real competition (including 13-year-olds) that was pretty amazing to watch.  You really came into your own with your first team.  You learned a ton, showed your defensive skills, and really wowed people with your three-point shooting.  Watching you win a championship was so much fun after a few losing lacrosse seasons (and one winning one that you barely felt a part of).  The next round's team wasn't quite as fun, but every different team is a learning experience--remember that!  Your winter season was pretty interesting for a lot of reasons--team dynamics, challenging teammates and coaches, and some tough losses.  But the wins you had were hard-fought and it was great watching your team come together.  Between that and the summer league, you really made yourself visible to a core piece of the Rochester basketball inner circle, and it seemed they liked what they saw.  Hopefully that support will come in handy over the next few years.  We're sad that your travel season has been one big mess, because we were all looking forward to watching you and your team play and getting back on the road again.  There isn't much that this virus hasn't ruined--at least not when it comes to scheduled events--so at least you're not alone there.  But it's hard to watch you be limited to the driveway and a little bit of gym time, because we know you're ready for so much more.  It's been a pleasure watching you play and we can't wait to see what's next.

As for school, you were a real trooper.  Moving to a new school--and a private school, at that--was a huge change for you.  Sometimes I wonder why you did it, since you always seemed to miss your friends and be frustrated by some of your new limitations.  I know deep down this is probably a basketball move more than anything, but I hope the education you get will be well worth it.  Despite the complaints, you probably did better with the uniforms, early mornings, and middle school workload than I expected.  I actually really came to enjoy our morning drives, despite the very early alarm clock and lots of yelling you out the door.  But our time alone was a lot nicer than I expected and I missed it when it ended.  You did a great job with your school work, consistently pulling great scores on projects--even the dreaded summer reading I was sure we'd never survive.  There was sometimes a lot of complaining, but you always seemed to make out okay in the end.  You even made the honor roll for the first three quarters (and most likely the fourth, as well).  

When it came to quarantined learning from home, you really amazed me.  Given all the challenges we had with homework over the years, it seemed like a nightmare scenario to have to do all your work at home.  But you handled it like a champ.  We had a few rough days here and there where the workload or the projects seemed overwhelming, but for the most part you handled things very well.  You usually looked like an old pro compared to your brother, who was giving me flashbacks to your Kindergarten homework hell.  Thank you for making it pretty easy on us!  And thank goodness it ended early!  

While I hope you get an influx of new kids this year so you can get a little more comfortable socially, at this point I'm just hoping for any sort of in-school time because I think you need to get back to a little bit of normalcy.  But I know we're both so proud of how you adjusted, and we hope you'll even put a little extra effort in because you have so much potential to do amazing things.  It's like I told you after last year's unsuccessful school awards ceremony: You have the potential, but when teachers know you're not using it to the fullest, you're never going to get the recognition you deserve.  It's there, though!

Speaking of quarantine, I know this time has been challenging for you.  On top of basketball being ruined, you've been isolated from most of your friends and stuck here with the people who probably make you craziest.  Thank goodness for Xbox (and sometimes your phone), but I'm sorry that we've had to be so strict about face-to-face time.  I'm glad you got some friend time last weekend finally, but I know that having to deal with your parents all the time, and especially your brother, has not been easy.  While I can't say you've made it easy for us either, I know that a lot of our troubles are just because you're trying to make your brother into a better person and make sure we're aware of things that might need attention.  We appreciate the effort, but it's okay if you just stay a kid for a bit longer, I promise.  Parenting is tough and you don't need to worry yourself with it just yet!

Despite our ongoing issues with you and your brother, the moments of maturity that I have seen in you over this last year have been something to behold.  As your emotional maturity moves along (in some areas, anyway), you now have some physical maturity to go along with it.  Your voice is getting deeper, you will pass me in height all too soon, and your feet officially overtook mine almost a year ago.  You care more about your hair than you ever did, and you definitely have a look in mind for clothes (but given how particular you were about those for years, that'll be tough to beat).  Girls definitely popped up on your radar this year, too.  In a year you'll be a full-blown teenager, and before we know it you'll be looking more and more like a man.  I'm definitely not ready, but it's fascinating to see little previews pop through here and there.  

This birthday definitely feels a little different with all of our limitations right now, but I hope all of the little things add up to a really great day that celebrates you!  We'll just have to make it up to you when the world opens up a bit more--arcade, party, and eating in at Red Robin again!  We love you so much and hope you feel that, even in the tough moments.  You made us parents and have given us quite the ride these last 12 years, and we look forward to seeing where you'll go from here.  Have a wonderful birthday and an even better year!  

Love, 

Mom  

A Few Good Moments

Another week off has come to an end!  It was a lovely, slightly productive week with a lot of pool time!  It was pretty blissful in the pool, actually--at least once I was alone in there!  I ran some errands and continued to take care of things outside.  I love watching stuff grow!

Wednesday was a big day because Carter finally finished up school!  For a while it felt like it would never end!  But it did, and this kid was pretty thrilled about it:

I'm still sad he missed out on time with his teacher, but I'm glad he seems to be right on target, in her estimation.  It'll be nice to not have the daily school battles, but the screen time battle might be worse and we are still going to be forcing some reading and one other school-ish activity (maybe just on weekdays?) to earn screen time.  With whatever he may have missed out on this spring, I want to make sure he's not suffering from the summer slide heading into fall.  We have no idea what the fall might look like, so it never hurts to be prepared, right?

Wednesday night I was eager to get out and about on a beautiful night, and decided to take the canal path as far west as I could within my 10ish mile round trip distance.  I made it to the main drag of the town of Spencerport just beyond the five mile mark!  The bridge on their main drag is under some major construction...

It's just sort of hanging over the canal!

I love the little canal tugboats like you see in the background!

This was back at the entrance to the park I ride through on the way back home.  It was so peaceful.

On Thursday evening, Jacob had gym time for basketball (he's back to no team, which stinks).  I was determined to get to the Maplewood Rose Garden this week.  Carter would not stay away from screens, so I dragged him out with me!  We visited the garden when Jacob was a newly minted one-year-old, and somehow I never posted it!  Look at how tiny he was!

This is one of my favorite pictures I have ever taken.

This is the Lower Falls on the Genesee River.  The Driving Park Bridge near the park has a lovely view.  The Kodak building downtown is in the background.

You can see my other visit with a slightly older Jacob here.  It had been a few years, and with not a whole lot on our schedule, it seemed like a nice, socially distanced activity.  Carter was not thrilled, however, and despite plenty of room to run, he kept asking when we could leave.  Sigh.  I tried to speed through, take lots of pictures, and appreciate what I could.  Too many pretty pics to choose, so here's a sampling...

Managed to get a smirk out of him!

We walked over to the bridge this time, but we were on the other side of the street--I forgot how amazing the view was of the falls until I could hear it, but the road was busy to cross and I knew Carter was lacking patience.  So the gorge and the bridge in the distance had to be cool enough!

As part of his "patience", I promised to find a playground for him.  I also got us Taco Bell Freezes on the way there, so trust me, he made out well.  The playground was in the same park but a totally different section that we had to drive to.  It was a city playground so it probably wasn't the best kept, but considering playgrounds have been off-limits for months, I think he was excited to be at one.  And as usual he tried to engage all the kids there in a game of chase.  He cracks me up.  He tried to figure out how to climb this, and also was eager to do the monkey bars, which seem to be his favorite at school.

It was a nice little bright spot in the week for me.  Other than that, we've been gearing up for a couple important days--Jacob's birthday tomorrow and Father's Day on Sunday!  Hard to believe our first baby is going to be 12!

A Good Day

Sunday was a good day.  We don't have a lot of those right now, and it was much needed.  As I mentioned in my last post, screens have become way too much of a thing around here, and no one ever seems excited to go anywhere.  It's like everyone's become willing introverts.  Except me, of course.  I mean, I don't miss the evening rush, but my runs and bike rides are necessary right now, and I have dreams of hikes and walks that no one else wants to do.  I think I need some other family to adopt me until this is over and take me on their hikes.  But this past weekend we made a plan to go out.  We originally thought about doing it Saturday, but it turned out to be a rather cool day, and Jacob ended up spending most of the afternoon playing basketball with a friend, so Sunday turned out to be the day!

After church and lunch (and a morning Wegmans run for me), we headed downtown.  Our first stop was to see the Black Lives Matter road mural.

It lined the road between an office building and a Martin Luther King Jr. Park.  It was actually right below the building where I took the kids to see the aerial performers at the Fringe Festival almost five years ago.

Hard to see, but the city put in their flower logo at the end

It was quite striking to see.  At the same time, it was hard to turn around and look at the broken windows to the bank on the ground floor of the building.  The city took a bit of a beating during the protests and riots a couple weeks ago.  Over the course of our day, we saw a lot of large glass windows still boarded up, and some precautionary boarding up of a building near where the original riot was (including Craig's old office) and a CVS just outside of the downtown core.  It's sad to see, but understandably not as sad as what caused it.  But seeing your city looking a tiny bit like a war zone isn't a great feeling.

We walked across the street to the park, which I have been trying to get to for years because they fixed a unique fountain in the park three years ago (after it had been broken for about 30 years) and I wanted to see it working.  Sunday was not that day, however, as the fountain wasn't on.  Instead, we saw this:

The quote up top is a permanent part of the park, and the quote at the bottom perfectly captures our current time.

The walls in the fountain/amphitheater area had been painted with black chalkboard paint, and people have left their messages.  There was a wide variety, from someone wanting to give their white privilege to their black nephew, to proclaiming the value of gay black lives, to a large John 3:16.  It was actually a really cool thing to see and talk to the kids about.

There was a play area nearby that is a spray park during the summer.  I went there once with an instructor from my old gym and had to run laps up and down the ramps.  Carter liked running around, and he and I eventually raced down the giant slides.

My view at the top of the slide

This park is actually just outside the Strong National Museum of Play, and there are some cool sculptures and structures nearby.  If you look closely just to the left of center in the picture below, there are two metal cymbal-shaped sculpture pieces, and if you stand directly between them, your voice echoes really crazily!

Our next stop (after glimpsing the beginning of construction at the arena--crazy to see the old patio and planters outside our old office gone!) was Warner Castle, which was built in the style of an old Scottish Castle.  I've wanted to go here for at least a year, since I found out it existed, and it just so happened to be right where we pulled in as we tried to figure out where to park for our next stop.  So, we got out and checked it out!

Look at that iron work.  It was very grand from the front.

Around back, with a little balcony

The most notable feature of the house is its Sunken Garden.

The grass on the ground needs some work, but the stonework was amazing.

We wondered if the wrought iron gates down below were original, or if they were added to keep drifters out.

This is looking across from the other side.  Notice the planter on the wall across the top patio.  The area beneath it is a bit overgrown but I saw an old picture where that once was very elegant, too.

There was a very pretty garden on the property up above, and there was even a local graduate taking pictures there.  You know me and flowers!

Guessing this is some sort of coleus

Tons of flowers!

This was about twice the size of my fist!

I had no idea what this plant was (thanks to Google, looks like spiderwort), but I've never seen anything like it.  Small purple flowers with giant single leaves extending out.  Zoom in on the photo...the flowers are really cool.

Our ultimate destination for the day was Mt. Hope Cemetery, a very historical spot in Rochester.  Neither Craig nor I had ever been there.  Jacob had, however, because he would go on walks there with his summer camp since it was right across the street.  We parked by a very old chapel and crematory, which was adjacent to this beautiful fountain.

It took us a bit to get our bearings, but eventually we did figure out where we needed to go to find our first destination--the grave of suffrage leader Susan B. Anthony:

The grave is a favorite for locals to stop by on election day (particularly in 2016 after their first vote for a female president) and stick their "I voted" stickers on the headstone--though it's now discouraged as to not damage the stone.  

As we walked through the cemetery looking for another prominent local leader, we happened by this very cool headstone with a cannon engraved on it.  Craig did a little researching and found out the guy died of diphtheria while on the ship mentioned on the stone.  

A couple times as we were walking, I noticed chipmunks on top of grave stones.  But of course, I was walking with boys so they always managed to scare them off before I could get a picture.  I did get a shot of this little guy who peeked around the corner after his first scare!

We passed by this area called Sylvan Waters, which had a really cool fountain in the middle.  It was a very peaceful spot, and I liked that some people had bench monuments erected down near it.

We finally swung around to our second destination, the grave of abolitionist Frederick Douglass.  It felt especially important to be there given all that's been happening lately and with what we had seen earlier in the day.  Craig did a little researching while we were there, partly about his kids and partly because there were two wives buried there with him.  I don't think I ever knew that his second wife was not only 20 years younger than him, but also white!  I guess it was a bit of big deal back then (not surprisingly)--although (who knew) he was actually half white.

It's neat to have this kind of history in our local cemetery.  I really want to go back, ideally for a guided tour in the fall.  There's so many amazing monuments to see, so many famous Rochester names, and a lovely, peaceful setting.

I just liked the look of this pretty statue.

This tree was giant.  I should have had Carter stand near it or something.  The smooth, gnarled trunk was amazing.

It was pretty to look up into, too, but even this pic doesn't do its giant expanse justice!

The boys were ready to go by the time we got through Frederick Douglass' grave, so after that we headed back to the car.  We stopped for a couple snacks on the way home--we had promised Carter a slushie to ease his sore loose tooth, but Burger King only had Coke Icees so Craig and Jacob opted for Tim Horton's options.  The snacks were a fun way to wrap up a really great day out!

It was so nice to have a day where we were doing something aside from desperately trying to stay occupied at home and constantly fighting the screen time battles.  The boys barely fought, we learned some history, and enjoyed some nice weather.  It really was an awesome day, particularly compared to what most of our days have looked like for the last three months.  I want to do more of these, especially with all the time off I have coming up.  It's just a matter of finding destinations that are safe and that we can agree on.  I have a few in mind, and we even talked about where we might be able to do a quick getaway.  I'm hopeful we can work something out since this summer is looking pretty dull without parties, trips, festivals, or even a readily accessible mini golf location!  We wait all year for this time of year, and right now it looks pretty underwhelming.  The kids will probably be fine, because they're happy staying home, close to the hoop and pool and especially not having to get up and rush off to camp.  I loved my free summers of TV, toys, and bike riding, and this is probably their one shot--well, Carter's one shot, at least.  Jacob will probably have summers like this for quite a few years now that he's aging out of camp  But it'll at least be a first for him this year.  Hopefully Carter will be back to activities next year--if not by the end of this summer if we get especially desperate--so hopefully he enjoys his freedom while he has it.  They probably won't miss the activities the same way Craig and I will, but I still want it to be a memorable summer in good ways.  Give me a bunch more days like this, and I hope it will be.