Carter Appreciation Days

Carter has had a lot going on lately.  He had his orchestra concert and the end of his basketball season over the past few weeks.  He just completed a six-week afterschool coding club this week.  He goes into school early twice a week for his music pursuits and he's a safety during arrival and dismissal every day.  He's been working so hard on his school work, too.  Some days he has a lot of homework, and even though some days are more frustrating than others, he's hung in there.  I've mentioned how different he is from Jacob, that Jacob was so focused on sports and doing only what he had to do, and Carter wants to do all the things and excel in his work, too.  It's such a huge turnaround from three years ago when we had struggled through second grade mostly remote and we were desperately trying to get him help because he couldn't stand school at all.  His teacher was super negative, every assignment turned into a battle, and his report card was a disaster.  Once he got his ADHD diagnosis and tried out medicine, it got a little better.  Then he got a good teacher who was a perfect match for him from the start, and it was like a whole new world opened up.  Last week I told someone going through something similar with their kid that it was like he finally realized he could do things and that it felt good to do them well, and now he wants to do all the things and keep that feeling going.  He tries so hard.  We'll have to keep an eye on that as he gets older because I know what it's like to equate your self-worth to your success, and that can lead to massive self-esteem and confidence issues if things don't go well, but so far he's rocking it most of the time.

It's been a pretty good school year.  His teacher really seems to like him even as he exasperates her a bit at times.  He does really well and then comes out with a dud--like when she got upset with how he was doing his math work, or how his writing has been below par, or how his disorganization is his Achilles heel.  I get it because I feel much the same way--he has so much potential but a couple things just hold him back.  Even though both of my kids have ADHD, it manifests very differently.  Jacob mostly carries himself well and is a perfectionist in some areas but tends to be messy, impulsive, and stubborn in others.  Carter goes with the flow much easier and manages to keep track of his homework and dirty clothes, but he's still sort of an awkward mess a lot of the time.  His attention to detail is a struggle and he tends to leave a trail of destruction in his wake--be it his messy school bag, random items left all over the house, or his struggles to get himself ready for the day.  Almost a year in to picking out his own clothes, he still asks what matches almost every day and he puts his shirt on backward probably at least once a week.  He forgets that he really needs to treat his extra dry skin and lips even though it has to be painful.  He routinely heads for the front door without his backpack.  He's forgetful but also keeps track of the weirdest details, to the point I sometimes wonder if he'd end up on the spectrum if we really pursued it.  He rushes through steps without thinking and definitely doesn't analyze the world in the same way as most people.  It's a balance to point him in the right direction without being too critical.  Jacob has outgrown a lot of awkwardness in the last few years so I'm hopeful Carter will too, but he's going to need a lot of refining so his absent-mindedness doesn't come back to bite him.  Middle school is going to be...a lot.

But for now, we're savoring these last few months of being "top of the heap" in elementary school.  I knew the day he walked in there for the first time that he'd be graduating before we knew it, and I was right.  But he's embraced the experience, so much more than Jacob did.  Jacob loved it there, too, but Carter is squeezing every bit of action out of it that he can.  

This year they got a new principal, which was a little bit of a bummer because the old one was amazing...so amazing he moved up to a high school that needed him and his rah-rah attitude.  The new one was a bit more reserved, but he's slowly been putting his stamp on the school.  The new assistant principal reminds me of a Jersey Shore girl, but they seem to be a good team.  Last year they had a boatload of positive behavior referrals and other ways to recognize students.  This year the focus has been more on "Superhero of the Month", essentially students of the month by class.  Of course, my little hard worker would come home frustrated every month because he felt like he was seeing classmates get it who maybe didn't deserve it as much as him, for one reason or another.  They notify parents a few days ahead to let them know when their student is a winner so they can come to the assembly, and every month Carter would drop a hint wondering if I had gotten anything.  Well, a couple Sundays ago Craig was checking his email and asked me if I had gotten "this email", which of course led me to open my email, and sure enough, there it was--Carter was Superhero of the Month!  

Of course we were thrilled, but there were a couple issues.  One, Craig was going to be traveling the morning of the assembly, so he wouldn't be able to go.  Two, I had to figure out how to avoid Carter's question during the week.  However, that got extra weird quickly because he came home early in the week and said he had some good news.  He had seen something on his teacher's computer screen saying that he was the Superhero!  I'm guessing his teacher accidentally left up the blurb she had to write for him.  I tried to downplay it and say maybe she was working a month ahead.  I refused to confirm or deny anything all week, just saying he should wait and see, just in case this wasn't it.  

Friday was a doubly big day because it was also the first day of his in-person rehearsals for all-county chorus!  He had been selected a couple months ago--just one of four students from his school--and I made it clear it would involve a lot of time and effort so he really needed to decide if he was up for it.  He decided to do it, and this weekend was the big one.  

Well...in true COVID-era fashion, Thursday he came home from school and I noticed him sounding really stuffed up.  He said it wasn't that bad, but by that night he was blowing his nose every couple minutes.  UGH.  I had him take half a Zicam twice over the course of the evening and hoped for the best.  I figured we could probably get him through the assembly in the morning, but the rest was a bit more of a concern.  None of it could happen without a negative COVID test, of course, so I ran out to get tests and some medicine (we were out), and went to bed praying he'd be okay.  

When he woke up the next morning, he said he felt okay.  He looked tired and was still congested, but he insisted he was pretty good.  We tested and it came up negative, although I drove myself a little nuts looking for a faint positive since it was early.  I felt like I could see something in really good light with a magnifying glass, but I really think that was actually the part of the test where the test line would have been and it just reflected the light a little differently.  I remember my faint positive before our Disney trip and there was definitely the faintest of pinks there--this was still decidedly white.  I dropped him off early at school for his orchestra rehearsal and reminded him that if he felt crappy after the assembly he could go to the nurse, and at one point he was like, "But you're going to be there, aren't you?"  Good try, kid.  I came back home and emailed his teacher and his chorus teacher explaining the issue and saying he should probably bow out of the all-county chorus because I didn't want him spreading his cold to everyone, and just letting them know that while he was feeling fine aside from the congestion, he might take a turn for the worse and come home sick, so either way it was fine if he didn't want to go to the chorus rehearsal.  Shortly after that I headed back to school for the assembly.

The fifth graders started walking in, and I kept my eye out.  When he finally came in it took me a minute to catch his eye, but when he saw me he was really happy and probably a bit relieved!  I wish I would have gotten that on video.  Once he and his class sat down on the floor, he started pointing me out to his friends, which was cute.  One of his friends gave him a high five since that meant he had won.  We had to sit through a lesson on one of their social-emotional skills and then all of the third and fourth grade winners.  Finally it was time for Carter's group.  I also wish I would have gotten his announcement but they jumped into it super fast and he was the first name so I missed it.  He got a nice round of hoots and hollers and applause!  

Here's his moment in the spotlight...and don't mind the assistant principal's outfit--it was Disney Day!  Note that Carter's wearing his "I'm just here for the snacks" shirt!

Carter's write-up was really nice.  The principal made sure to remind us parents beforehand that this is a really prestigious award because it's not something every kid gets.  He suggested we should really pump our kids up and celebrate over the weekend--we tried, but with Craig gone we held out a little, and even a week later there's still one thing we want to do--he wants to try gelato!  

Fun facts: The girl next to him is in his grade and was nearly as tall as the principal (and taller than the assistant principal), the boy coming up the stairs in the picture above is a published author, and another girl that won (but sadly wasn't there) was one of his soccer teammates back in Kindergarten.

It was a really sweet assembly and elementary school never ceases to amaze me with how well it "herds cats" and manages the controlled chaos.  I'm really going to miss the warm fuzzy community there. 
 

We took a couple pictures afterward...

...and after we wrapped up his chorus teacher came over to chat.  She suggested he could still go to the rehearsals if he felt more comfortable masked.  She even had special masks for singing.  I told him that as long as he felt okay by that point in the day, he could go, but if he started to feel worse he should go to the nurse who could call me.  Before I left, we worked it out with the main office (and coincidentally his orchestra teacher who happened to be right there) that I would pick up his viola near the end of the school day so he didn't have to take it with him, since he was leaving school early to take a bus to the high school and then on to the school where the concert would be held, about 20 minutes away.

Fortunately, he apparently seemed to feel better over the course of the day, and I didn't hear anything else so I assumed he was off to rehearsal without issue.  I was honestly a little nervous not knowing anything and I missed having him around after school.  I was a little too busy to dwell on it because I had to pick up Jacob at 2:30, stop for the viola on the way home, get in a little more work until about 4pm, and then take Jacob to his training session.  We went straight from there to pick Carter up from the high school where they were getting dropped back off.  Oh, and did I mention it had been snowing most of the day?  Luckily by pickup time the snow had slowed and Carter was feeling better, which was probably good since the singing masks confused him a bit!  We hoped he'd continue to improve and be okay by the morning for rehearsal #2.

Oh, and on the way home he shared that he got his report card.  He was reading off his grades, and he did amazing!  Tons of improvement.  I think the only thing that wasn't where it needed to be (or above) was reading, and his teacher said it was because he struggled early on in the term with comprehension, but had been doing so much better lately.  He went back down to "meets expectations" in a couple areas, but he also got "area of strength" in all of his social-emotional skills, which has almost never happened with either kid, so that was incredible.  I'm so blown away by how well he's done this year.

It was tough getting him up bright and early, but we made it to the bus on time at 8:15, despite the fact we'd gotten a few inches of snow overnight.  Yes, we hadn't had significant snow in weeks but now that it's spring, of course we've gotten a bunch and the weather has been mostly cold.  The snow is rarely long-lasting--this round was mostly gone by later Monday--but it was enough to make for a slightly messy morning.  Thankfully the pavement must have been warmer because there was only about an inch to shovel compared to about four on the patio table.  I used it as my morning workout and figured that if my parents came for his concert like they were hoping to, it was better to have it cleared.  I had already gone through the trouble to get bundled up and out there, so why not?

We were originally warned that we might only get a couple tickets for the concert, so my dad fully expected to hang out at home with Jacob, but it turned out everyone could go.  That was nice since my dad is a wonderful singer and could really appreciate all the talent and work that went into the concert.  Jacob reluctantly went, probably just to see his grandparents and be a good sport.  When we got there, the place was jammed!  There were three concerts back-to-back and the first one was just letting out when we got there, which meant there was a backup of cars coming in and no spots.  We finally snagged one and then had to wait for my parents to find one when they arrived to the traffic jam a minute after we parked.  Because we ended up at the back of the line getting into the venue itself, we were right near the top of the seats, but WOW, what a place.  Turns out the performing arts center at Churchville-Chili High School is pretty darn impressive.  I thought Greece's was nice, but this was incredible.

Carter saw us coming in and smiled and waved.  He lost track of us when we sat, but luckily he was easy to spot.  

He's wearing a white shirt and a tie, just left and below center here.

Of course, the first thing I noticed was that his tie was super loose and he was a bit desheveled, so I motioned to him to tighten his tie.  At least he was mostly blocked by other kids so the untucked shirt was less noticeable.  Like I said, his attention to detail is a bit lacking sometimes, and I'm guessing between the long day, lunch, and bathroom trips, he let himself get comfy and then forgot to get himself back together.  Oh well.  It was a big crowd so at least it was harder to see, and probably most people were looking for their own kid anyway!

 

The concert was so good!  It was short, only four songs, but they were really impressive!  The director seemed really fun and energetic, and the kids were totally on board.  It was amazing how they had learned all of their parts coming in separately and only had a couple days of rehearsals to figure out how it all went together.  It was really impressive coming from a bunch of elementary kids, and quite the contrast to even Carter's regular chorus concerts.

Unfortunately we weren't supposed to record (there's a recording to sell, of course!) but I did sneak a part of my favorite song just in case we didn't buy the recording.

The concert was really outstanding--my parents were really blown away and said it was well worth the trip.  Afterward we were all herded to the cafeteria to pick up the kids, and it was nice to finally be reunited with him after the majority of two days apart.  He seemed to enjoy the experience and said he'd do it again, so I took that as a good sign.  For a kid who can get bored easily and enjoys his screen time at home, I took that as a big win.  

We wanted to go for a post-concert treat, but we were in a bit of a dead zone for good places for ice cream or snacks (especially gluten-free ones).  Ultimately we decided Tim Hortons was as good as it got, a few minutes up the road but not too far off track for my parents.  Unfortunately they didn't have frozen lemonades (but didn't tell us) so the kids ended up with regular strawberry lemonades, but the rest of the treats were good and we had a nice chat before going our separate ways.  I was glad my parents could come, and given how short the concert was, I was actually a little relieved it was so good.  I always sort of worry about that a bit with his school concerts because they are decidedly less impressive.

We had a pretty uneventful rest of the weekend while waiting for Craig to get back from Colorado.  We did get Red Robin takeout for dinner because I just couldn't think of anything else to cook and at least I had a coupon.  But otherwise we were just eagerly awaiting his return.  

The one exception to "uneventful" was that by Sunday morning Jacob was sniffling, and by later in the day it was clear he was getting sick.  At first we thought he might have Carter's cold because the congestion came on similarly, but he had a sore throat and later a 101 fever, so I'm not so sure.  Here we went all over again, now worrying that he might have COVID and Easter could be in jeopardy.  Ugh.  He was miserable and uncomfortable overnight into Monday--I heard multiple moans and he sleep-talked to me once.  Thank goodness he tested negative the next morning, because once the fever came on, I definitely would have been panicking then.  After that I felt a little bad I didn't stay home Monday because he was miserable and the first medicine we tried didn't help.  DayQuil seemed to put a dent in it, and by Tuesday morning he was at least mostly done with the moaning stage and just back to congestion.  The boys had doctor's appointments Tuesday so we took him in even though the fever had broken, and they confirmed it wasn't strep either.  He stayed home again Wednesday--he almost went but decided at the last minute that he just wasn't feeling up to it--so he had a big one-day school week this week.  Geez.  The congestion has actually hung in there for both boys, so whatever they had (together or separate) was no joke.  Luckily it did not negatively impact our Easter weekend, so that was a relief, but I was pretty worried for a while.

Anyway, I can't even express how proud I was of Carter over those couple weeks--two concerts, including one with a special selection process, a great report card, and a student of the month award.  He's a pretty amazing kid and it was fun to see him shine!

News & Notes, Ides of March Edition

It took me so long to sort through my thoughts on the COVID anniversary that I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do here on life over the past couple weeks.  Not that we've been too busy, but I suppose it's been a nice, pleasant run--just enough to keep us occupied and not bored.  

I noticed this flower already showing up in my yard two weeks ago.  I guess the warm winter has encouraged things to crop up early, and that was before a couple rounds of really nice weather came through.

I had been getting in a lot of walks lately, which was really nice.  We've had five days in the 60s or 70s so far this year, which is crazy.  And a lot of days in the 50s.  I won't complain about that but I am worried about my plants and the poor farmers.  Everything is starting to bloom.  I found these gorgeous crocuses around the corner last Wednesday.

 

 
They're so cheery!  I've seen a few daffodils, and as I was climbing through the way back of our yard trying to find a ball the boys lost, I noticed our forsythia was already trying to bloom!  Those normally aren't out until mid-April, so we're definitely running about a month early.  It happens, I know--we've had warm weeks in March and early April before, but this has been the nicest string of weather in recent memory.  Lots of sun, not a ton of rain, just really pleasant for this time of year.  Of course, spring started this week and the entire week is well below average.  We have snow on the ground and more coming, along with stiff winds.  It's been brutal and almost like winter realized it missed its cue, and finally decided to show up.  I noticed this new growth on my hydrangea last week and I panicked a little because I lost a lot of new growth (and probably blossoms) due to a late freeze last year and I didn't want that to happen again. 

 

I went out over the weekend with four garden stakes, some clips and ties and a big old sheet to try to cover it for the week.  I am hoping it works, but I'm just going to have to keep checking on it because it's a darker sheet (I used an old ripped one so I wouldn't be ruining it) and I wasn't sure if it would be too warm under there when the sun is out.  I honestly don't know if it's too much or too little, but I figure there's still air circulation and it'll protect it a bit.  I need to hope it holds in the wind, though.  So far so good, though I had to reposition one stake, but everything is still green underneath so I'm hopeful.  The farmers have to be absolutely panicked because everything has to be running very early and we have a long time before our average last frost yet.  I just saw, too, that a ton of daffodils were planted at Mt. Hope Cemetery locally, and they were all opening earlier this week, but of course we now have a long stretch of weather that's too cold and snowy to enjoy them.  Hopefully the cold weather is just enough to preserve them (and not kill them) until next week when it might be warm enough to maybe take a walk there.  Fingers crossed.  But the snow has been a little demoralizing after having so many nice days.  I like my cozy sweaters and hoodie dresses, but everyone has been in spring mode for weeks so this feels pretty annoying currently.  But I only had to shovel once or twice this year so I suppose I should shut up and deal.

Our weeks have been a little less hectic since Jacob's basketball season ended, although he's still been keeping us (mostly Craig) busy with training appointments and shooting sessions.  He's working with his trainer, going to a special UR Medicine athletic training clinic, seeing a nutritionist, and putting up shots whenever he has a chance.  He seems to be doing a lot better with his injuries, but the one evaluation he had confirmed what we already knew, that the power from one leg is significantly less than the other, due to the injuries and subsequent loss of strength.  So he's working on getting that equalized.  As a result, he skipped a middle school combine he was selected for this past weekend and is likely going to skip the travel season too.  His coach is mostly fine with it--although he did pull back a bit on his approval this week because he's being told Jacob should be out there a bit more and encouraged him to play after all, so we'll see where that goes.  We're hoping we can find a compromise because we really want him getting his strength and conditioning to where it needs to be, because the rest will hopefully take care of itself if those things are running on all cylinders.  He needs more power, strength, speed, and agility to be an elite player, so now is the time to get all that where it needs to be, so he's in prime condition for his next varsity season and the recruiting season next spring.  Jacob has been swearing that this focused time is exactly what he needs, so I guess we'll see if that's the case.  I'm hoping if anything he can play a shorter season and keep practices manageable.  It would be weird not being part of a team full-time and I hope he doesn't lose any reaction time in games, but hopefully it's the right move.  In the meantime, I really want to enjoy our Easter and hopefully make it to Craig's 400th straight game if we can.

We did find out Jacob got named as a 2nd Team All-Star for his league for the Varsity season, so that was pretty cool.  He was the only freshman on the Division II list.  He had two teammates on the first team, another with him on the second team, and two of his former teammates made the first team as well.  It's a nice accomplishment, but obviously he wants to aim higher!  We found out one of those former teammates and a former youth teammate are both headed to prep school next year.  They're going to the same one, and there's actually a kid Jacob played with on his first organized summer basketball league team (the one that won a championship) that is already at the same school.  It's in Connecticut, but apparently they like Rochester kids!  We knew both of those kids were aiming for that, but it's an odd feeling knowing they're off on their own next year.  Jacob insists he really doesn't want to go to prep school.  He'd rather stay home and aim for 1,000 career high school points.  It's hard for me to gauge if he's avoiding something or really just does prefer to stay home.  It could be intimidating going away, between balancing school and basketball, his dietary challenges, and wanting to make sure his injuries and general body challenges are managed.  Sometimes I want him to get more independence but maybe that's not the way or the time to do it.  We don't want to pay tens of thousands of dollars for that either, so it would have to be the right offer regardless.  I don't want him to count anything out if the right scenario were to come along, but he seems pretty set on staying put.  For now, anyway.

As for Carter, his basketball season (and probably his career) is now over.  It turned out to be a pretty good team.  We started with two ties, but in the end they were 5-1-2, which was a nice turnaround from his past two teams that only combined for one win over 14 games.  This team grew a lot over the course of the year.  All but one ballhog reformed themselves, and at least the one that didn't was still a decent scorer.  Carter spent most of the season frustrated since he only scored a couple times and barely got the ball, but the wins were nice.  I captured this shot at the second to last game.  Pardon the coach's and Carter's socks--it was crazy sock day.

Last Tuesday was the last practice of the season, and the coach had promised the kids a coach/parent vs. player scrimmage.  We were joking about how funny it would be if Jacob played because those kids might not know what to do with themselves when they saw him shoot!  I thought about emailing the coach ahead to see how he felt about Jacob playing (either as a joke or for real), but then wasn't sure, and then I had second thoughts altogether.  But in the end Jacob wanted to come anyway and ended up playing!  It was pretty funny because Jacob and Carter were guarding one another for a good chunk of the game. 

Carter did what he could, but obviously Jacob's a tough one due to height alone.  The adults definitely dominated pretty solidly, especially because the parents were purposely making it tougher when the kids weren't passing, but the kids didn't do too bad.  And technically I guess they won because the last shot was the winner, and Carter actually got it!  He did get a little bit of an assist from Jacob who let Carter steal it, but his teammates were just looking him off, much like they do in games--like he could literally be open right in front of them and they'd either shoot a bad shot or pass it to someone else--so Jacob took matters into his own hands, I guess.  It was a super fun game to watch, lots of laughs and crazy shots, but the best part was that it seemingly inspired the kids to come out firing in their last game--they had a 23-2 lead at halftime!  Of course, the bad news was that they were playing Carter's friend Ben again.  We beat them badly last time, and it happened again.  Oops.  Here they are guarding each other again.

Carter is wearing a sweatband on his head because his coach gave them to everyone as a year-end gift.  It was pretty cute seeing them all wearing them!

 

My parents came in to see him play, which was extra fun.  We had a nice afternoon together, enjoyed the game, and then came home to some really delicious Salvatore's pizza to finish off the night.  After the game, the team took a nice team photo, and believe it or not, Carter won that Nets flag through a Rock, Paper, Scissors game after the postgame meeting!  I have no idea what we'll do with it, but it was fun!

So, basketball is probably out of the picture for him now.  It's pretty clear it's not his sport at this point.  Even though this team won way more than any other, he usually ended up frustrated since he wasn't scoring and people wouldn't pass him the ball.  It was still fun watching this team evolve and his coach was pretty great.  I love how encouraging this league tries to be, so it's a little sad to be moving on.  He's really excited for baseball, though, so that might be making his exit extra easy.  I'll ask the question when registration info comes out in October, but I think he's done.

Sunday was the year-end celebration for the league.  It was a bit bittersweet knowing this was probably our last one of these, but it was a good time nonetheless.  Carter's coach got honored with a special sportsmanship award, and also took part in a funny challenge.  As I mentioned, his coach was pretty great.  He's a really nice guy, so sweet to the kids, so encouraging, and the director specifically mentioned how impressed she was that he took the time to memorize a handshake/high five for each individual player--I think I mentioned a while back that Carter's involved a quick round of Rock, Paper, Scissors.  It really was cute, and he absolutely deserved that award.  The competition involved a player on the team answering basketball trivia, and if they missed, the coach had to put two or three marshmallows in their mouth.  After each round they had to try to say, "Upward Basketball", and once they couldn't say it or had to spit them out, they were out.  I thought they were doing pretty good, but he came in third out of four.  The last two were troopers, and no one really knows how the winner managed it!  The winner did walk out (presumably to the restroom) shortly afterward looking a little "off" so I wonder if holding them for that long made him feel sick-ish.  It was fun to watch, though

His coach is in the blue-gray shirt, clearly smiling!

At the end they go through and announce the teams and players as they come up and get their year-end gift, which was a backpack this year.  It's been things like a basketball and mini-hoop in the past.

So, with that, on to bigger and better things.  Baseball is at the top of that list, and actually, I guess one of those things is also his music pursuits.  We had another fun venture into that on Thursday.  Carter was part of the Greece String Festival, which is where all of the elementary and middle school orchestra members (generally all strings) play in one mass concert.  This was in the high school gym of the school he'll be attending next year, the same gym where Jacob's team beat his current school last year in the sectional semifinals.  It turned out to be quite the event.  It was so amazing to see all of the students.  Elementary kids are on the left, middle school on the right.

Carter takes a lot of pride in his playing, although he doesn't practice nearly as much as I think he should.  Part of that is that Jacob is a jerk and will blast music to drown Carter out when they're home alone.  I've reminded/encouraged Carter to go up to his room or go into the basement when that's the case, but he still manages and seems to be first chair for everything at this point--although there's usually only 2-3 other violas, but still.  He made me a little nervous that day as he was practicing because he had a lot of mistakes and stops and starts, but that's the beauty of a large group and no solos--you can blend in a lot better than, say, Jacob on the basketball court.

I was really impressed by the middle school orchestra in particular.  They sounded significantly better than the elementary one, although sometimes I think the simple songs can work against the elementary group.  I took videos of all the songs so my parents could see them later since it didn't stream.  

Here is one called "Frog in a Tree" that was just the elementary orchestra:

My personal favorite was "Seven Nation Army", which was actually a familiar song.  The whole orchestra did it, so it was pretty impressive.

I have to say, it was chills-inducing!  With all of those musicians, it was just really cool.  They seemed to have fun with it, and I know it has to be neat for all the teachers to see it come together like that.  I love watching Carter play and I'm so proud of him.  I really hope he sticks with it, which at this point it seems like he will, at least for another year.  I think it gives him a nice point of connection heading into middle school next year.  It drives me nuts that Jacob keeps putting down the orchestra and saying that "band is cooler", probably in part because some bands play sporting events and he loves that.  I mean, when I was in high school we called people "band geeks" (lovingly, but still), and I think the orchestra folks just sort of slid under the radar, so I don't think it's a bad thing at all, but times have changed.  Even still, I think it's a really good thing.  He has one more concert coming up in May.  This coming weekend is all-county chorus, which sort of an exciting new opportunity for him.  I don't know that he will continue chorus next year since he's been less excited about that, but I think this event this weekend could be fun for him.  We'll see!  He came home with major sniffles today, so hopefully they hold off from anything too terrible--particularly because he has one other important thing happening on Friday that I'll share hopefully in my next post!

Otherwise, we've just been muddling through March.  Feeding Jacob has been increasingly challenging since he's been more focused on his nutrition.  He's already so limited, but then he wants high-protein, lots of carbs, and almost more food than we can stock in any given week.  On top of it, he gets sick of things that he eats repeatedly.  He tends to fixate on foods and then burn out on them, so he has a love-hate relationship with things like eggs and sometimes bagels, has gotten very picky about cereal, and currently wants these corn dogs I found at Walmart all the time.  It's hard to keep things stocked, most dinners disappoint him, and his snack cabinet is overflowing yet again because he stops wanting to eat things so they just sit there because throwing out $7 boxes and bags of snacks drives me nuts.  We did have one victory a couple weeks ago.  I made French toast sticks!  I found an air fryer recipe and because his usual bread has been having really thick heels lately, we finally had good, thick bread to try it with.  They were coated in cinnamon sugar and they were really good!

I also tried homemade corndog muffins with less success--they were OK but definitely not what he's been craving since I found the good ones at Walmart.  I have a slightly irrational fear of deep fryers or any sort of extensive oil usage, so I fear we're not getting too close to that...although I did suggest trying to spritz the ones I made with oil and air frying them separately to see if they crisp up.  I also made some air fried cauliflower the other night that everyone ate, which was practically a miracle.  But dinner tends to vex me at least a few nights a week.

Other quick shots:

• The boys are playing a ton of baseball whenever the weather cooperates to get Carter ready for his season to start later next month.  
• The Knighthawks have rediscovered their winning ways, so they might make the playoffs after all.  Craig is getting close to his 400th game, so we're hopeful health and whatever else cooperate in the meantime.  We'd like to go on that trip since it's in Hamilton and we haven't been to Canada in ages, but it all depends on whether Jacob ends up playing basketball.
  
• Jacob is reverting a bit to his getting-out-of-bed struggles from last spring, but at least he's actually going to school and still getting his work done, even if breakfast is a recurring pain (see above) and he's not always on time.  Ugh.
  
• I'm pushing through a weird time at work--not a lot of major projects but a lot of little things I'm herding forward--while also trying to hire my new assistant, which is only going moderately well with suitable candidates but no standout ones.  
• Jacob had the day off school yesterday because, of all things, they found a dead body in the city’s reservoir and there was a boil water mandate.  As a result, city schools were closed, and because that cuts out bus service for his school, he was off too.  Crazy.  Turns out the guy had been in there for weeks, so…good times.
• Easter is also dependent on whether Jacob ends up playing, but I'm really hoping we get to do a family weekend this year.  I'd like to get back to the special "Journey through Good Friday" event at my parents' church, in-person church for Good Friday and Easter, Prunes and Noodles, and Easter gatherings with both families (although Craig's will be on Saturday and he can't make it this year).  I really missed it all last year.  Hard to believe it's only a week away right now.

So...that's where we stand.  Wish us luck with the stupid sniffles.

Four Years Later

We've officially hit the four-year anniversary of when the world shut down due to COVID.  Friday, March 13th was our last "normal" day, and the weekend that followed was when the dominoes really started to fall in rapid succession.  It's mind-boggling that we've been at this new version of the world in some form for four years.  In some ways it feels like forever, and in others it has flown.  I laughed when I saw a post that referred to the pandemic as having happened "800 years ago, or yesterday", because that's pretty much my point.  The pandemic has been an entirely bizarre time warp.  I guess the saying, "The days are long but the years are short" applies to more than just parenting.  

I just realized it also means that I've been working from home for parts of four years, and that seems absolutely insane.  I didn't think I'd make it a week or a month, and here we are, where it's now my preference most of the time.  Four years seems like a really long time and yet it feels like it was just a year or two ago that I was figuring out how to make all of this work.  But in talking to at least one of my colleagues, I guess it's been so long that we agreed we don't even remember how we used to function while working physically in the office 40 hours a week. How did we make it without this flexibility?  It's a mystery.  Life has changed in so many ways, and it's so odd how some changes still feel weird and others are so deeply ingrained in our lives, as if a previous normal never existed. 

I knew the anniversary was coming up because my Facebook memories were coming back across things that I knew happened right before, like my diamond painting attempt that got me through the first few months at home, and the last-minute basketball tournament and trampoline park visit from the last full weekend before things started shutting down.  And then last Monday night I went to Wegmans and randomly I realized that it was the day before the anniversary of the Thursday night I went there and everything felt like crazytown.  Shelves were empty, lines snaked through the entire store, and everything felt completely unnerving, like it was a natural disaster or third-world country.  That was the moment reality started to set in, and when school got shut down the following weekend, that was when things started getting overwhelming.  So much happened within a few days.

I went back to read my posts from that time.  I spent a lot of time blogging back then, partly because I needed an outlet and partly because I knew I'd thank myself later for documenting it all.  It was pretty crazy to read four years later as a lot of those details have faded and those posts brought them roaring back.  It was overwhelming just to read all that was happening in 2-3 day increments, but living it was something else--and in a lot of ways I'm not surprised we all ended up traumatized from the experience.  It was SO much.  I sort of can't figure out how we managed all that change at once.  It was one heck of an adrenaline-fueled, fight-or-flight, powering-through period with how much happened in a very short period of time.  We went from normal life at the end of one week to home school, work from home, no social life, and barely leaving the house for weeks on end as of Monday.  We didn't see family or friends for months.  We could barely grocery shop, had to find new at-home hobbies, and try not to lose our minds from all the togetherness, all while hoping we didn't get sick...but watching plenty of news stories about the people that did.  

Our entire world changed so quickly and felt so out of control.  I'm pretty sure our brain chemistry changed right then and there, but the following few years didn't help matters, and I feel like even now we're all just on the verge of a mental cliff.  Like, we're functioning, we're living, we're doing our jobs, but it seems like (at least among co-workers and some things that people share on social media) that we're all just a thing or two away from it all being too much, at any given time.  I've said that about things like planning food for a family gathering or trying to do a big project around my house--adding those things on top of the rest of life just feels precarious.  I don't even want to know what would happen if we were all called back in the office full time at some point.  We'd lose a LOT of people because I think people just can't envision living like that again, and they will not hesitate to leave a job to ensure they don't have to.  It's a little worrying because my job has only guaranteed hybrid through June 30 this year, and they haven't said anything about it in over a year since that timeline was announced.  They just started doing a couple learning sessions as in-person only, rather than hybrid or Zoom only, so that made me wonder if they're testing the waters for going back to the old way.  I hope not, but it's got me curious.  I'm hoping we'll hear more at our big all-staff retreat in June, but that could set things up nicely for them to give us an easy summer and tell us we'd go back to full time in the fall.  Those couple months of summer would likely be a hellish sprint then, with everyone trying to jump ship in time for fall.  I don't even want to think about it.  For me, I'd probably feel compelled to stick around and hope that the general flexibility (for appointments, sickness, kid things) would remain and still be better than most places, but I guess I wouldn't blame people for leaving because it's a very personal decision.  I know I'm one of the few who's routinely there three days a week like we're supposed to be, and while I understand why people don't find it important, I worry that the abuse of the privilege is going to come back to bite us all.

I was thinking the other day about my grandparents' generation and how they had a pandemic too.  My grandparents were actually barely part of the last one--my grandpas were both born in 1920 and my grandmas in 1924 (go figure!), so they missed most or all of it, but certainly had to have family or family friends that were impacted.  But during their lifetimes they dealt with the stock market crash, Pearl Harbor and a world war, two more wars across the following three decades, and an awful lot of social and cultural change.  Their generation is generally perceived to have been tough as nails, but I guess it's no wonder there's so much internet discussion on how previous generations aged faster than more recent ones.  Perhaps we'll start reversing that trend post-COVID from all the aging this stress has likely caused?  But the thing that threw me off is that their generation got tougher, and yet it feels like this time around we've just crumbled as a result of this stress.  To be fair, mental health struggles and awareness are at an all-time high, so I think some of it is that we're allowed to express our stress and exhaustion.  Older generations were always taught to hide it away, ignore it, and solider on.  That probably wasn't healthy and I'm sure it caused problems of its own, but kudos to them for mostly making it work.  But I think a balance isn't a bad thing--we're allowed to be human and feel things but we also can't allow it to overtake us because we need to keep living our lives.  Sometimes I think we've opened the floodgates a bit too wide, but I don't like the alternative of bottling it up and shutting out very valid emotions.  I'm not saying this balance is easy or that I have answers, but I just caught myself pondering that difference between generations and wondering why it's so pronounced.  I will say that years from now, down the road, we may find out that the younger generations who lived through this did end up stronger in the end because of all they've endured, even if right now it's all a little raw and still in process.  Maybe it can evolve.

I'm still thankful my kids don't feel traumatized by the experience.  Jacob actually enjoyed a lot of it, and while we've had our struggles with Carter, I think it accelerated getting him help with his ADHD, so I can be grateful for that even as the screen addiction persists and we battle against some parts of his school performance (namely writing) that took a hit from online work.  I saw a discussion on social media the other day where one person said they didn't think their kids were traumatized because they explained why lockdowns and masks were important, and their kids understood why it mattered so they didn't feel upset about what had happened.  I'd like to think my kids were much the same--even if they didn't enjoy things, I think they mostly understood why it was important.  The commenter essentially insinuated that the families that told their kids they should be upset about masks and closures were probably the ones who were most negatively impacted by everything, and I can't help but agree.  I can see where people who made it feel like a big infringement of rights might see the whole situation as more upsetting.  We dealt with it as a matter-of-fact thing, this is just what we do, and it wasn't a big deal.  Inconvenient and uncomfortable, maybe, but a modest sacrifice for avoiding COVID and not putting others at risk.  People in the thread were bemoaning how schools are out of control, kids don't care, etc., and that the pandemic made all of that worse.  But the unexpected wild card in the discussion was the people who insisted that lockdowns probably weren't the cause because their areas were only closed for those couple months when everything started and they went right back to school as normal in the fall, but their schools and students are just as screwed up and off-kilter as places where things were shut down for longer.  It was an interesting point.  A lot blamed lazy parenting, but shockingly few pointed out the fact that the "lazy" parents were probably burned out themselves and doing double duty working from home, and that's why parenting got a little lax.  In the end the phones seemed to get the most blame, which was obviously made worse by said "lazy parenting" and the unlimited screen time it involved.  I get that and don't disagree, but it was literally survival mode at the time because we needed to get work done and we needed to not have kids up in our space 24/7.  I'd like to say I would do things differently if I could go back, but realistically I know it was more complicated than that and it was a desperate situation a lot of the time.  I think all my phone time back then changed my brain, too (or maybe it was the COVID exposure where the brain fog never entirely went away?), so it doesn't surprise me we're dealing with a lot of people who aren't functioning quite the same as they were before.  It's phones, it's exhaustion, it's stress, and it's probably the realization that the same setups don't work for everybody all the time, so maybe we should have choices we didn't have before, like working from home and home schooling.  Our world has fundamentally changed.

COVID is still around.  It's not this big scary thing it once was.  It's not really killing people like it used to, it's not overflowing hospitals, and it's on par with the flu--if that--for most people.  My mom is just getting over it for the second time, and hers was pretty nasty this time around with some lasting symptoms almost two weeks in.  But considering this is something that killed off a lot of people my parents' age early on, I'll take it, I guess.  It's so much like the flu now that the CDC recently backed off on all quarantine recommendations and we're just supposed to mask now.  I guess that's nice, but I'm sure it won't matter to my family next time someone gets it because they definitely did NOT want me around back in August, even with a mask.  It's a far cry from how everything felt early on, or even Jacob's first infection where we were all stuck at home for 10 days.  I'm thankful things are better and grateful for the vaccine and natural immunity getting us to this point.  I'm sad for the people who didn't make it this far, and to this day I can't help but wonder how many more we'd have lost if the revisionist history people had their way.  I came across a memory a few days ago of a tweet that said:

Months from now, if we're lucky, the extreme measures being taken now to limit the spread of COVID-19 may seem like they were an overreaction, because relatively few people died.  

That's the point.  That's why we're doing it.

That felt oh-so-true this time around, because so many people are still saying how the shutdowns were overkill, for the schools, for the businesses, for the economy, for our freedoms.  They're saying it was overblown by the media and never more than a cold.  But I think they're forgetting what those early days looked like, before we understood how it spread, how contagious it was, how to treat it, how jammed hospitals were, and how many people were dying at a rapid pace.  Remember the refrigerated trailers?  That was real and it was scary.  I'm not sure I'd say that "relatively few people died"--inflated or not it was in the millions--but had we not done shutdowns at first, that could have been exponentially worse.  We did the shutdowns to minimize the spread, keep hospitals from overflowing, and give us time to figure out how to treat it.  Had we stayed open, who knows what might have happened in those first few months.  We can assume we just would have gotten to the same place sooner, but I'm not sure that would have been the case because likely a lot of people were saved by delaying infection until there were better treatments and hospitals were less overwhelmed.  People in Italy died because they didn't have the space, people, or supplies to treat them.  They had to choose who lived or died for a while.  I'm not sure to what degree that happened here early on, but I can't imagine if we hadn't taken measures to reduce infections early on.  Could the lockdowns have been shortened?  Probably.  Was the vaccine push ultimately a bit of overkill?  Likely yes.  But I think both were important in the short term to keep us in a safer position.  We only knew what we knew at the time.  We were learning as we went, and could only make decisions with the information that was available at the time.  Maybe politics got in the way on both sides, and it made the struggle worse.  It was messy.  Still is sometimes, because all of those politics have overflowed into our new normal, and sometimes that "freedom over everything" mentality seeps into other areas.  I hoped in one of those early posts that we'd come out of the pandemic a kinder, gentler society--one that cared about our fellow man and was grateful for all we have, especially once we had the chance to get back to "normal" life.  I pretty much couldn't have been more wrong.  I think some people came out of it that way--I feel like I did--but so many other people came out more selfish, more rude, and with zero regard for their fellow man because they felt oppressed and want to return the favor.  It's so weird, and very disappointing.  It doesn't give me much hope if we have to do this again someday, because people are so polarized now that literally half the country will not comply with whatever restrictions get put in place.

I sometimes wonder what our world would be like now had this never happened.  What would our lives be like if I was still working full-time in-person?  Would the kids' paths have been different?  How would Carter's school experience or Jacob's basketball progress have changed?  How would politics be different?  Different president?  Less polarized?  One of the odd benefits of the pandemic at the time was that it interrupted some of the less enjoyable aspects of life that were set to go on infinitely.  Sometimes it was a relief to realize I had a break from 20 years of commutes and full office days or the non-stop go-go-go of family life.  We had a lot of downtime we wouldn't have otherwise had, and in some ways it felt needed.  I found weird comfort not only in the idea that we were getting a break from the monotony, but also that the new normal would evolve as well within a period of time.  Sometimes it's nice to not have things super settled and be able to maintain some hope for better days on the horizon.  This clearly wasn't the best way to do it, but it was an interesting detour from the world we thought would never change.  It came with a price and I think most of us are still dealing with it in some way, but sometimes I wonder if something else would have had to give if things went on as normal for much longer.  Why I wonder about something we'll never know, I have no idea, but I suppose it creeps in a little whenever I wonder if there were things we should have done better.

For something we hoped would only be around for a few weeks, four years feels pretty crushing.  I mean, I know that lots of aspects of life have been mostly back to normal (or something resembling it) for at least a couple years now, but Wegmans only ditched the plexi guards within the past six months, small pockets of people are still wearing masks, and I haven't had the guts to figure out what to do with the fully stocked mask rack still tucked in our front closet.  The reminders are everywhere.  Life as a whole has so fundamentally changed that I can hardly tell who "post-pandemic me" is vs. who I would have been anyway.  I still don't love crowds and coughs still make me cringe.  Every sniffle in our house starts an inquisition.  Grocery shopping still feels more stressful than I'd like, but I'm not sure if it's carry-over dread or if it's just because shelves still randomly go bare and prices are through the roof.  Maybe both.  It's been a weird journey.  I worried at the time what would happen if this pandemic went on as long as the Spanish flu did--how would we survive YEARS of this?  Turns out it did, and somehow we have.  I can't say we've thrived, but we've done pretty well despite the challenges.  We've adapted, we've traveled, we've kept the boys active and evolving, and our actual losses were minimal.  We're doing okay.  I don't know what four-years-ago-me would feel if she could see us now, but I hope she'd have been relieved and even a little impressed that we made it through okay.  I'm thankful.  Tired, but thankful.  And I really hope we never have to do that again.

It's a Spring Thing

I knew it would happen.  Even though last spring was incredibly stressful, I knew that when spring rolled around again this year, I'd be looking back at it fondly.  Turns out it's happening a little early.  I think it's a combination of Jacob's school season being done and the weather taking a weirdly warm turn already.  Give me a 70 degree day when it's supposed to be freezing and apparently now that's my body's sign to start thinking about travel season and the adventure it was.  Last Tuesday we had ridiculously warm weather, and boom--the memories of our trips and their spring-like weather came roaring back.  Unsurprisingly, the following couple days when it was cold and snowy it faded again, but this week is going to be warm again so I'm mentally prepared for the feeling to return.

I tend to have an issue in my life where I associate certain stimuli with certain experiences, so I guess now that we're getting close to the time of year where this experience dominated our lives, my brain is transporting me back.  It's like how I spent a few Februaries a number of years back craving time at home and off work because I had both maternity leave and unemployment at the same time of year, two years apart.  It's like we hit February and my body said, "Where's my snuggly-time-at-home-break?"  Or how I've talked about the dark period of November sucking me back into the early days of my first pregnancy.  I guess maybe this is sort of like that, only it's happening early this year because the weather has been acting weirdly spring-like when it's not supposed to, just like it did on our trips and the week after we got home. 

Jacob's school season lasted an extra week last year and immediately after that we started turning our attention to his travel season, which started about three weeks later.  March was filled with a lot of planning and flight booking and conversations about how we were going to manage all the travel.  I was panicked about getting through my busy work season amidst all the time off I would need, and it was so intimidating to think about flights, rental cars, eating out for days on end, and managing all the little details that these trips would involve.  And thankfully, I didn't know quite how challenging they would get once injuries entered the equation and a last-minute 15.5 hour car trip became part of the plan.  It was pure insanity at times, to the point it kept me up at night for a good chunk of March.

But in the end, the experience was memorable.  It wasn't easy, but it had its moments and apparently those are enough to bring along positive associations.  That exclusive time with Jacob was a rarity, so that alone was special.  It gave us a couple early shots of spring, and the adventures ended up being pretty unique.  As much as new things can scare me, getting a change of scenery like that can be so energizing.  I loved seeing a new part of the country, and I loved seeing a couple things I've wanted to see for years but figured I'd never get the chance.  I still love that I can say I've been to Oklahoma of all places, and Missouri, too (twice)!  Craig gets to travel all over the country for work, so I think it's just something he takes for granted (although ironically, this weekend he traveled to Texas for the first time ever, so I think that felt a bit more interesting than usual).  For me, flying or going pretty much anywhere outside of Florida or the Northeast has been super rare in recent years.  Being in an airport all those times in a short period was so foreign to me, but it just made me feel like I was "doing something" for a change.  Sometimes I feel like my life experiences pale in comparison to so many others--heck, I have a ton of friends whose kids are far more cultured and well-traveled than I am.  I sometimes feel a bit stuck in my daily life--work, house chores, kid stuff--and suddenly weeks or months have passed and I haven't done anything memorable.  My life is good, yes, and the mundane stuff is important too, but there's a whole big world out there to see, and sometimes I feel like I'm missing my chance to see it.  So, to just get to a couple new places and manage the process on my own felt significant and gave me a different type of confidence than I get in my daily life.  I feel like on the rare occasion I do fly anywhere, I'm having to re-learn everything every time.  It's usually been so long that it's hard to remember what goes in my carry-on, or what I can take through security, or how to manage at the checkpoint.  Same with adjusting to hotel life or rental cars, or just the quirks of being in a new city.  But for a short period, I got to feel experienced at all of it.  I'm also pretty darn proud of doing that whole eternally long car ride by myself, even if it was over two days.  I know all of this is sort of weird to get excited about, but it really did give me a boost while it lasted.

I also really appreciated the quality moments with Jacob.  There weren't many because his injuries made him pretty miserable and he spent a lot of time harping on my (perceived) ineptness with our travels, but they were there.  It was a good opportunity to just talk to him.  He did put on his music during the last half of the long drive, but we had a lot of in-between conversations and I don't take that for granted during the teenage years.  But there were a few moments that felt like such a victory--managing even a tiny bit of connection and understanding with my difficult child.  The Oral Roberts visit in particular was pretty spectacular for so many reasons, and that bonding time alone may have been worth the whole ridiculous experience.  That and the amazing breakfast we had that morning really stand out.  We decided at the last minute (over said amazing breakfast) to shift from the activities I really wanted to do on the trip, to a crazy college tour day.  We had already seen the University of Oklahoma campus the previous day, which had been another exceptionally cool moment, and then we decided to wing a trip to OSU, Tulsa, and Oral Roberts.  We had some fun conversations comparing and contrasting the campuses and marveling at their fancy Division I facilities.  But little compares to the hour we spent at the Oral Roberts campus, which is part prosperity gospel, part Jetsons.  It was a beautiful but bizarre campus with the gaudy, striking prayer tower in the middle, and we just couldn't get enough.  We smiled and laughed and enjoyed the gorgeous weather.  It was pretty amazing.  It would have been a great parent-child bonding moment for anyone, I think, but for a couple people who rarely get along some days, it felt downright miraculous.

We tend to butt heads a lot, and this trip had no lack of those moments--heck, when we got on the road back to the hotel after that great moment, we argued because I wasn't sure what to do about the toll roads, which meant we had to take an unorthodox way back that took a little longer, and Jacob was annoyed about it.  However, all of that conflict also meant we practice working through some of the challenges together and sometimes it wasn't that bad.  He probably wouldn't admit it, but I have to think there were a couple moments where he was like, "Okay, maybe she knows what she's doing...a little."  Gaining his trust was hard, and I still think he probably took for granted a lot of the things that went smoothly because of all the overthinking I did.  But it still could have been a lot worse, and I think that was a victory itself to keep things tolerable.  Food was admittedly a challenge the whole trip (it took me a long time to willingly eat at Chipotle, Chick-fil-A, Jersey Mike's, or Firehouse Subs again), and I'm still not sure how to make that any easier because we researched and did what we could to plan ahead, and it was still hard.  But the good places we did find, and even our Outback takeout Easter dinner, were bright spots.  

I can't say I want to something like this again because it was really stressful.  I will when called upon, but I can't say I'm in a rush.  We're still hoping to miss at least the first week of the travel season to get him more rest, but if he goes back after that I'm on the hook for a couple long drives--Grand Rapids and northern New Jersey.  I can't say the idea thrills me, but hopefully we can use last year's experience to make it better.  But that's a LOT of driving--especially if the earbuds go in and he tunes out.  And again, those are a couple destinations I will struggle to find "fun" in, I think.  I really like to get bonus experiences out of those trips, but those don't jump out at me as anything too exciting.  The northern part of the Jersey Shore is a half hour away from the NJ location, and Grand Rapids does have a nice-looking botanical garden and sculpture park (with a couple Chihulys, no less), so there's that.  But...not much else.  Not that we have time anyway usually, but I always hope even a couple hours might be doable.  Regardless, Craig should be back on board after that and Carter and I will gladly tag along a couple times, but I am relieved to not have to do what we did last year.  It was expensive, exhausting, and overwhelming.  Still...it was memorable.

I asked Jacob the other night if he had any good or enduring memories from the trips, and he pretty much said getting on the plane...grrrr.  I reminded him we did have one really good plane that he loved, and then I reminded him of Oral Roberts and he admitted that was actually the best memory.  So clearly it didn't mean that much to him (or he's got a heck of a poker face), but I hope he hasn't totally blocked it out because of the injuries because someday I hope he appreciates some of the experience.  But knowing him most of it has been stricken from his memory, much like he denies remembering anything about his lacrosse days.

I had hoped to find a few pictures I never posted last year, but it turns out I documented most of the trips pretty solidly, mostly because there wasn't a lot of photogenic stuff for huge parts of it.  I did find a few, though, especially where I was heavily editing because I took so many pictures at the art museum and bombing memorial.  But just a few hidden snippets...

This was taken on the plane ride from Rochester to Chicago on the second trip.  I loved the ice crystals with the cool sky in the background.

This was one of the many statues on the University of Oklahoma campus.  It was huge, as you can tell by the person walking nearby.

This is another view of the prayer tower at Oral Roberts.  This is a more close-up, underneath view than I shared before.  I think I might make this my phone wallpaper again for Good Friday, since it's the crown of thorns.

This is the fountain on the porch of the giant academic building with a beauty shot of the tower in the background.  I realized that I think the thing in the middle of the fountain was the eternal flame and I must have caught it in a moment of weakness or wind because I know it was lit.

Another view of the fountain, but if you zoom in, you can see the flame bending to the right, so it's possible that's what was happening above but the flame holder itself was blocking the view.  I don't know that I ever properly captured how the fountain matched the pointy end of the building, but it did.  The architecture was pretty stunning on this one.

This is probably one of the coolest moments I have ever captured on video--a water bottle doing a flash freeze--and I almost didn't keep it safe.  I realized as I was pulling photos for this post that this video never got transferred over from my phone to my computer, and therefore never got uploaded to YouTube for safe keeping.  It was never in danger of being actively deleted, but had something happened to my phone in the last 11 months it would have been gone forever.  Anyway, I was alone in our hotel room and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge.  I set it down on the nightstand and realized it looked like ice...but I was pretty sure it was liquid when I pulled it out.  I remembered seeing that phenomenon before where water that's on the verge of freezing will freeze over when agitated, so I grabbed another bottle from the fridge, got my camera ready, and took this video. 

The water inside indeed did turn into an instant, fine slush.  It wasn't ideal for drinking but melted quickly enough and obviously stayed cold.  It was pretty neat.

I don't know that I mentioned how many beautiful sunsets we had on that trip.  I did post the Easter one--I needed that one that night--but every night was pretty.  This was the view from our first hotel room on the second night of that trip.  

I took so many pictures at the art museum because Jacob was rushing me through and I wanted to be able to zoom in later and appreciate the details.  I still wish I would have taken more.  One of my favorite pieces was this boat.  The colors were amazing.

The walk-through with the glass ceiling, which I have seen a few times now, never gets old.  I could have spent so much time there capturing all of the interesting details.  I wish they would have had the floor pillows like Toronto, because I could have plopped Jacob on one of those and let him rest a few minutes.  I liked the color assortment on this one. 

By the way, have I mentioned that Chihuly is going back to the Biltmore estate?  They're going to have one of these, it appears.  No better excuse to get back there and visit my aunt and uncle again!  I have until next January, so we shall see.  

I've mentioned before that these blanket baskets aren't my favorite, but these colors really were pretty.  As a reminder, all of the colored decoration is glass, not paint.

Just another gratuitous view of the tower, with clearer colors than the original picture I posted. 

This was in the modern art room and I just loved it.  I posted a different angle previously, but this deserves its own pic.

This was my attempt at capturing the optical illusion artwork.  I thought it was different, but video was the only way to begin to do it justice.  Not super effective, but you get the idea.

This was an outside view of the ground level window by the big tower.  If you hadn't walked out from under the canopy to see the giant windows above, you might have had a big surprise upon entering.

This was the outside of one of the gates at the bombing memorial.  It says,

We come here to remember

Those who were killed, those who survived and those changed forever.

May all who leave here know the impact of violence.

May this memorial offer comfort, strength, peace, hope and serenity.

These are different angles than what I had posted previously.  It shows a little more what the area that was once the front side of the building looked like.  This was opposite the memorial chairs and was more of a tiered seating area with what appeared to be a round observation deck.  It had a line on the front above the rock wall thanking the first responders.  That building in the background was damaged anad is now the museum.

This is looking down that same side toward the first gate.  That side felt less stark than the chair side.  We didn't get to explore much over there because Jacob's patience was gone by this point.
  

So, here we are back in March.  No big planning as of now.  Usually we have hotels and all of that to work on by this point, but technically they haven't even had tryouts yet and we haven't heard much beyond dates and cities.  I'll just sit back and enjoy the lull, I guess.  Despite the warm weather ramping up, I'm not at the point of spring yet where I'm desperate to escape.  I think part of that is because the weather has been so mild, and the other part is likely that we technically have our Dominican trip coming up in June.  We're now good to get back before Jacob's birthday and Carter's moving up ceremony, so that's good.  But I'm still nervous and not assuming anything since the last trip like this didn't end up working out.  But I guess the hope of it (as much as I'm trying to ignore it for fear of disappointment) is just enough.  

We also need to plan our family vacation, but that's a whole other issue.  Jacob is, of course, still advocating for Disney even though we had established we were not going there this year.  I would love to do something else--I had talked about the Pacific Northwest to go to Seattle and see my brother's family, or we have talked about a return to Atlanta since Carter was in utero the first time--but Jacob is so against "busy" vacations that I don't know how we'll ever come to a resolution that works for everyone.  I'm not even sure what we could do.  I realized that we haven't really done "normal" vacations in years, and when we did they were pretty low-key.  The kids didn't care where we went for years as long the trips included say, a zoo and a sporting event, so we did Pittsburgh, Syracuse, Erie, and Toronto.  After that we did three years of travel lacrosse so we fit our vacation into those trips by finding things to do nearby or en route, like the Basketball Hall of Fame, Howe Caverns, Lake Placid, Gettysburg, and Philadelphia.  And then the pandemic came and we had a full summer off, then did the Jersey Shore trip, and then two years of Disney.  So we have little in-between, really...either really small or really big.  I don't know what a good in-between one would be, although I suppose Jersey was close.  We had some beach time, had fun on the boardwalk, and did the state fair (which was supposed to be Legoland but I screwed up and got shut out of tickets due to the hurricane messing with our plans)...so it was busy but not crazy.  But even that wasn't Jacob's style so I'm not sure what else to do, and suggestions of other resort-type experiences have been shot down.  I'd like to do some fun things as a family before the kids are grown, but I think Jacob is going to make that difficult.  I half expect we won't come up with anything this year and he'll have to learn that lesson the hard way, but knowing him he still won't care and will insist he'd rather do nothing than get dragged all over a city.  It's sort of paralyzing, actually.  And no, he won't offer up any other acceptable options, so here we sit.  I'd like to decide on something so I can start planning Carter's summer camp schedule, but I guess I'll just have to leave some pockets and hope something fits.

So, this March is shaping up much different than the last one, and April could be following suit.  Last year was definitely interesting, but maybe exchanging "interesting" for "calm" isn't such a bad thing!