Dear Baby-to-be,
Today we saw you
for the first time! We had our first ultrasound to make sure all was
well in there. I wasn't sure what to expect since this was
significantly earlier than our first ultrasound last time around.
When the ultrasound started, sure enough, there you were! Things
were a little hard to make out, but we could definitely see a head, a
little body, and a tiny flickering heartbeat. We got to hear your
heartbeat, too! It was nice to hear that sound again after all these
years. There's nothing better, actually. That was always my
favorite part of doctor's appointments last time. It was so funny
seeing you for the first time, and hoping it was the first of many
millions of moments with you. There's still the fear that it's not
you and that will be the only time we see that sweet, tiny baby, but
I really hope it's you and you're doing well. You measured
perfectly, though. We pretty much know when you were
conceived—within a day or two—and your size hit that target
perfectly. That was good to see. It could all still mean nothing as
we have a long way to go and so much can happen, but it's good to
know that so far things seem to be going well.
I'm hoping we get
another ultrasound sometime in the next month or two when I switch
back to my regular doctor (from the one who helped us along this
path), because I'd love to see you again. But, if not, I will gladly
wait until the midway point to see you once you have recognizable
parts and we can answer the BIG question—whether you're a boy or a
girl. Admittedly I'd love a girl to balance things off in our
household. I'm better at playing dolls than sports, and girls
clothes are SO cute. I'd just like a girl to bond with. I'm
grateful for the relationship I have with my mom and treasure the
times we spent together. Even though we both hated shopping, those
shopping days out together were special. I liked standing on the
other side of the counter while she baked. It's not that I can't
involve Jacob in activities like that, but I'm just not sure that's
his thing and I think I'd have a better shot with a daughter. I also
feel like I'd compare my kids less if they were different genders,
because we all know boys and girls are inherently different. At the
same time, I'm preparing myself for another boy, and trying to focus
on the fact that Jacob would love to have a brother, we already have
boy stuff (although the seasons will be out of sync for sizes), and I
know a little more what to expect with a boy. Aside from the
boundless energy, boys are considered easier in the long run. We'll
love you either way, but forgive me if it takes a little time to
adjust if you're a boy. I'll get there, I swear.
Anyway, it was good
to see you today. Stay healthy but take it easy on me. I'm still
tired and not feeling great, but today definitely perked me up a bit!
Can't wait until next tine!
Love,
Mommy
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