Sunday, September 23, 2012

Letters to Baby #10 - August 7, 2012

Dear baby-to-be,

I'm really starting to notice some changes now.  The nausea is still here—though I think sometimes it lays off a bit, and sometimes it feels worse than ever.  Sometimes I wonder how I'm ever going to get through this for a couple more weeks...and sometimes I'm just grateful because it's a sign all is still well in there.  Sometimes I get nervous, thinking things are going too well or wondering if I got a little too ambitious during my workout.  I try to be very aware of my body when I'm working out, but it's a tough balance between doing what I can while I can and being cautious.  I need to stay active for as long as possible, because that fitness and stamina is key as this goes along.  I need to keep up my energy and strength, and the more cardio I can do all along, the better off I will be when the time comes to bring you into this world.  God knows I needed it last time.

Anyway, the changes I'm noticing are in my belly.  I'm definitely coming across more moments where I can't suck it in.  If I eat too much or have to pee, it sticks out and is hard to hide completely.  Yesterday I was trying to finish up something at work and I really had to go to the bathroom.  By the time I got there, I could tell my belly was puffed out, and it took forever to empty my bladder.  I think once it starts getting squeezed even a little bit by the space you're taking up (and I think muscles relax while pregnant, too, so it's harder to “squeeze”), it just cannot function normally when it's pushed to its limit. 

Tonight I went to the gym, and I kept noticing my belly looking awfully large in the mirror.  I was trying to suck it in and rearrange my shirt, but nothing was working!  It'll be a while before it's really a problem, but possibly within the next few weeks getting dressed is going to be an issue.  It happens quicker the second time around, so I wouldn't be surprised if suddenly I wake up and nothing fits.  I figure I'm going to take off work on my birthday at the end of this month and set aside some time to pull out my maternity clothes, take stock in what I have, then go shopping (alone!) and find some transitional stuff to get my through until the real stuff fits.  I can't help but wonder if I'll care less this time around, or not.  Once my belly is legit, I think I'll be more willing to show it off this time as long as it's as cute as last time.  But until then, I'm not sure I'll be willing to look fat.  Or maybe I just care less this time around.  We'll see.  It's all part of the fun. 

I've been staying up late watching the Olympics for the last week and a half, and that hasn't been doing me any favors at all.  It's only two weeks once every four years (can't believe you'll be three and Jacob will be eight next time around!), so I just sort of want to enjoy it while it's here and I guess I'll deal with the consequences.  You'd think in an era of great technology I'd just DVR it and go to bed, but's more fun to watch it (sort-of) live.  Hopefully after it's all over, I'll start training myself to go to bed super early.  I need it.  Last time around I remember a lot of nights falling asleep on the couch very early.  Hopefully this time I can fight that and be smarter.  I'm working on four-plus years of sleep deprivation at this point (even though Jacob's a pretty great sleeper—I think I'm just a lighter sleeper in general now), so I can only imagine it's all going to hit me harder this time around.  Hopefully in the next couple weeks I'll start feeling considerably better and I'll be able to take advantage.  I feel behind on a lot of stuff, and there's a lot to do in the coming months so I need to start soon.  Time is going to fly!  I just wish it would fly a little bit in these next couple weeks so I can start feeling better, and we'll see how things go from there. 

I have a doctor's appointment next Monday and hopefully I'll get to hear your little heart beating then...can't wait.  Grow strong :)


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