This morning I said good-bye to my car. It was my first car, and it served me well for over eight years and 90,000 miles. We had our issues, but overall I think it probably performed better than I ever thought it would since it was sort of a throw-away type of car. After my accident the other day, it was deemed totaled because the cost to repair all of the hidden menaces under the hood was within range of what the car was worth these days. Other than whatever my insurance gets jacked up, it's probably not a bad deal because I'm probably getting more for it this way than I would have as a trade-in. Still...it was a sad end to a long relationship. Even though I had been working toward getting a new car (I was actually waiting until we had a stroller, to make sure it fit ok in the trunk--the things you have to think about with a baby on the way...), the sudden nature of saying good-bye to my car made it sadder than I thought it would be. So, now I'm off to find a new one.
I guess I should just get used to this feeling, since this is just one change of many that will happen over the next few months. Ever since I got married I've been a little extra conscious of changes that happen around major life events. For example, like most women, I got my hair cut almost immediately following my wedding. I grew it out beforehand to make sure it could do whatever it needed to to work with the veil and all that, and by the time we got back from our warm-weather honeymoon, I was desperate to cut it. It hasn't been any longer than my shoulders in the five years since. As a result, I can look back at pictures from around that time and know whether it was before or after the wedding. The downside is that it creates a bit of a mental barrier. When I see myself with long hair, it immediately triggers this "old me" (or really, "young me") response...that I look so much younger before this life-changing event. I'd probably judge a picture of me from just after the haircut as looking much more like I do now, even if my face looks identical to a "before" picture.
Now that we're coming up to another life-changing event, the ramifications of the "before" and "after" stuff keeps running through my head. I'd like to go for a shorter haircut heading into the summer, but then I think, "Am I going to look at that years from now and be like, 'Yup, there's the beginning of the 'Mom hairdo'?" Even with this whole car thing...Is my Neon going to turn into a symbol of my "carefree" life before parenthood? As it is my body probably won't be the same after...but hopefully the changes won't be so obvious in your average photo (though no matter how good I look in clothes, I'm sure I will know the difference), so pictures won't taunt me for years to come!
I know this before and after stuff seems a little silly, but it amazes me how those before-and-after wedding photos can make me feel so much older...and considering how old having a baby is probably going to make me feel anyway, I don't need any additional mental assistance with that :) Oh, well...again, it'll all be worth it anyway, right?