Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Serious stuff...but don't miss the Halloween treats at the end...

I've been blogging now for about 10 months...10 months yesterday, actually, now that I look at it. By the time I started blogging we were past the first trimester and were slowly but surely letting the cat out of the bag as we found appropriate. A year ago right now Jacob already existed but we wouldn't know it for a couple more weeks. Amazing how times have changed! It's been a great experience to document all of this for the past ten months, and it will be something fun to look back on when Jacob's older and we're seasoned parents...or when we do it all again in a couple years!

Unfortunately, over the life of this blog I've also managed to rub some people the wrong way with the things I've written. Both sides of the family have expressed concern at various times. Blogs are dangerous, I guess. You put yourself out there for all the world to see, knowing full well that the written word doesn't always capture the full picture. If there's anything I've learned in the digital age, it's that e-mails and instant messages (and now blog posts) don't have facial expressions or intonation to fully convey what you're saying...and hence things get taken the wrong way when someone reads too far into it or sees it from a different angle. Obviously it has never been my intention to anger people. That's the last thing I want to do...I hate conflict. No matter how many times I re-read the inflammatory content, I know the context in which I wrote it and know it wasn't meant in a hurtful way. Can I see how it would be taken the wrong way? Maybe, if you choose to believe I'd purposely be hurtful. Perhaps I could have chosen my words better at times, or left out certain things altogether to minimize the risk of something being taken the wrong way, but I don't feel anything I have written has been hurtful when taken at face value within the context meant for it. For the mere fact that I have written things that could be taken the wrong way, I apologize to anyone affected by it. However, I must admit I am hurt that people I care about would think that I had any malicious intent in writing the things I did. If I really thought they were going to be hurtful, why would I write them? This blog is supposed to be a happy thing, about the greatest thing ever to happen to me/us--Jacob.

Obviously something sparked this post, but I'm not going to get into details. It's been an upsetting last day or so as a result, because family is really important to both of us. Were it not, we probably wouldn't live where we do...we probably would have gone somewhere else where Craig's sports career could be more financially rewarding. We might also have been less likely to have kids. Just a few years ago we were both working in sports, with little time for anything else. Part of the motivation in me moving to a different job was so that one of us had a normal, more kid-friendly schedule. I think the fact that we both grew up in awesome, supportive families was a big factor in even wanting to have kids...both to bring someone else into that circle and also build our own life as a family and enjoy that stuff all over again. And that's why it's hard when something I write gets taken the wrong way. The last thing I want to do is upset the family members that have made our lives so rich.

I can apologize for writing something that could be taken the wrong way, but I still can't control what people think or how they react, so that leaves future blog posts just as vulnerable. Where does this leave the blog? Honestly, I can't bring myself to end it. I know that the people who still read it enjoy it, and it's an easy way to keep people updated. I have enjoyed this journey and will continue to enjoy looking back on it as time goes along. I just think it would be a shame to stop. Obviously the photos are the big draw, so I guess I'm going to focus more on that, along with more straightforward posts whenever Jacob hits a milestone. Not that I won't have random posting like I've done in the past if the mood strikes, but I think that's going to be toned down a bit to minimize any future issues.

Anyway, as I said earlier, this blog is ultimately about Jacob. And I think we can all agree he's a pretty amazing little dude. As proof, allow me to present a couple pictures to end this post on a happy note:
Jacob's runner-up Halloween costume...a little kitty costume that my grandma made years ago. It didn't quite fit him in the legs, so it was a no-go. He looked cute, though! (Pardon my feet making an appearance...)

Jacob in his halloween shirt (courtesy of my boss...so sweet of her!) with his "Jacob-sized pumpkin", as I was calling it when we were looking for one like that. I'm hoping to do a more formal version of this later in the week when I have him in this outfit again (I need to get the halloween gear as much use as I can while I can, right?), but I did this one as a backup for now!


Krissy said...

I've been reading your blog for a while now, I got the link from Chrissy at 'Storked' (BTW Love her). I have a six month old daughter and I too had problems nursing in the beginning and sleepless night. It is nice to hear about someone that hasn't "been there" but "is there" now. Take Care ~ Jacob is a cutey!

Mom B. said...

I love reading your blog! I guess if anyone has a problem with it, then they don't have to read it, just like your brother did when you talked about maternity clothes!! Love you!!

AGS said...

I picked up your blog from the Storked blog as well and appreciate your blog. I had my first baby about 7 weeks after you had Jacob and it was nice to read that someone else was going through the same things and had some of the same thoughts/fears that I had during my pregnancy and these first couple of months. Cameron was at first diagnosed as having colic and then later it was discovered to be reflux but at times your blog has helped save me