Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Thoughts on Day One

Well, I officially survived day one of sending Jacob to day care and being back to work. It was odd coming back, probably mostly because I do so many different things in the morning before coming to work, then park somewhere different, have a different walk to the office, and bring something different with me (my pumping bag). There's a new guy sitting two cubicles down. Just about everything else seems to be the same, but it's been a crazy adjustment being "out of the loop" a bit and having to catch back up on things, after being so involved in so much stuff on a regular basis. I did get a bit of good news, that I don't have to make up my pumping time. It would have been a losing battle for me, between trying to get up after a long night to get here earlier, all of the new things I have to do each morning, and trying to get out of here on time if I have to pick up Jacob. So thank goodness for that. I likened it to a cross between a smoke break (which I'm not sure if people have to make up) and a bathroom break (which we don't)...it's my choice to pump (like a smoker), but having made that choice, if I don't I'll be in physical pain (like having to use the bathroom) when I get engorged...of course, it's vital to pump to keep my milk supply up. But overall, it was a relief.

Getting home to Jacob last night was actually really nice. Not having to spend all day feeding, diapering, and trying to get things done around his nap schedule left me refreshed by the time I got home. Of course, I had to figure out dinner, wash dishes, and take care of a few other things, so Craig was stuck with Jacob for a little while. But in general it was a nice evening, and maybe it was just my imagination, but it seemed like Jacob was a little cuddlier than he'd been before. Mommy withdrawal, maybe? Let's hope. He also seems to have more almost-smiley moments lately...not the big smiles from the photos last week (though we are getting some of those), but where his face just seems bright and he's got an open-mouthed, almost excited look. He was a hungry boy again, as usual, though it was probably worse because he only had half of each of the three formula bottles he had during the day. We fell asleep on the couch after his last feeding and a bath, probably somewhere around 10pm. I didn't wake up until around 1, then scrambled to put him in bed, wash all of his bottles and my breast pump parts, and get in bed by 1:30. I never made it to the grocery store as I would have liked, and the late night wasn't my plan. Jacob woke up at 2:30, then again at 5:45. I was hoping to sleep until 6:15, but that didn't happen and I've been awake since the 5:45 cry.

I'm a little tired today but functional enough all things considered. It's hard to do things at work because so much of it is detail work. I want to be as with it as possible when I take those projects on so I don't screw things up and have to start over. I'm not sure that will be an option anymore. On the bright side, one woman in the office made me a fantastic platter of cupcakes to soften the blow of coming back to work, so those have been fueling me for a good portion of the day.

Tonight I have to go to the grocery store, but I am really looking forward to hanging out with Jacob for the rest of the evening. I miss him during the day and look at his pictures a lot. I show off the smiley one all the time to visitors to my cubicle, and smile myself every time I see it. Hopefully I will have more to add to the blog soon :)

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