Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Had to share...

Over the weekend Jacob started smiling a bit. As I've mentioned before, he only ever smiled when falling asleep or passing gas. Now he started smiling while awake, albeit unprovoked. I still think it's more of a reflex than anything at this point, but it's super cute anyway. I've been dying to get a picture of one, and I had a bit of success this afternoon. First, here's a picture from last week that I've been meaning to post. He had been fussing like crazy and finally fell asleep like this:


Ok, so on to today. Jacob was finally well-fed and awake, so I spent a good chunk of time trying to get him to smile while holding the camera. Finally, no thanks to me, he started smiling! They're tough to catch on camera because they're generally quick and the flash probably throws him off a bit, but here's what I got. Maybe it's just me, but the pictures get progressively cuter...here's the first one...

And the second one...
And the third one...
He looks chubbier in the last one than he actually is, but at least in the last two you can see the infamous single dimple! I definitely look forward to the day where we can get thse smiles almost on command, but these pictures will probably keep me smiling for days to come. I've decided that when things are going well, Jacob is the best thing in the world. It's a really peaceful feeling when everything seems under control and he's happy. It's not that I love him any less when things are out of control, but a whole host of other emotions get in the way. Fear, confusion, and uncertainty have a way of making things seem so much harder than they probably are, and I hate that they tend to get in the way of me enjoying such an awesome little person. But little by little I have these good moments, sometimes when he's feeding contentedly...sometimes when he's just been screaming, stops the instant I pick him up and snuggles into my shoulder...sometimes when he's smiling like in the pictures above...all seems right with the world. Watching some of my baby shows on TV and realizing all of the things that could have been wrong with him but weren't, it makes what he went through look like a piece of cake, and it makes me that much more grateful for the healthy little boy he is today. He's a pretty amazing little guy...

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