Now that he's smiling a little more and slowly but surely figuring some things out, I'm starting to see the potential his little life holds. It also helps that I'm getting more sleep these days and am not so distracted by the massive demands that come with a newborn--my brain has more ability to think about stuff like this, rather than how I just need a nap! In any event, I see Jacob's wide-eyed curiosity and can't wait to encourage it with all that life has to offer.
Of course, there's always the paranoia that you're not going to teach them right, or give them enough stimulation. As a parent you theoretically know best, but there's a whole big world out there and even you only know part of it. Communicating all you know and have experienced is a daunting task. You want to make sure that you give your child a well-rounded, rich life experience, and you still don't want things like expense or parental hang-ups to get in the way of that...but despite your best intentions, they probably will. Maybe you won't get to take your child on some amazing culture-rich vacation, or maybe they just won't try a certain food because it's something you don't eat. I'm still trying to figure out when it makes sense to start bedtime prayers or eating at the kitchen table, to make sure Jacob gets in good habits right away. I know, no time like the present...
Sometimes when I'm in the midst of thinking about all he can accomplish, I hear a story about someone else's baby that tears my heart out...mostly because I can't even fathom what I would do if that child was Jacob. Whether it's a kid with cancer or autism, or those poor little babies with kidney stones (or worse) in China after consuming bad formula...I just can't stand the thought of anything preventing Jacob from reaching his potential. When a good kid goes bad (or worse, never even has the chance to because their life was cut short) I always wonder if the parents think back to their perfect baby and just wonder what happened. I pray I never have to do that with Jacob. He's just so amazing and each day I look forward to him learning and developing more and more. I feel so blessed to have him.
And with this face, how could I not?
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