Well, we're through the week full of weekdays without Craig. Just a couple more weekend days and we should have him home. I have a feeling that it will take a while before he is functioning normally, however, because his schedule has been pretty crazy over there. He's up late at night, which technically means that he'll have fewer hours to readjust when he comes back, but he's also not sleeping a ton which could be a problem considering he was already horribly tired before the trip. We'll see. But we're still here plugging away, looking forward to his return.
I'm not entirely sure how to describe this experience. We miss him, of course. But honestly, we've been so busy that there hasn't been a lot of time to dwell on it. There's definitely a "hole" here or there, where I realize that something's missing. Whether it's a good morning cuddle or some good conversation at dinner, an extra pair of hands or an extra brain to think through a problem, the "hole" may not be obvious...but after a while it occurs to me that subconsciously I'm craving those things. I'll admit that the alone time in the evenings has been nice (though considerably busier than I expected), and I think I've slept more soundly in general in a bed by myself (though I have managed to stay on my side all along). While those things are fine for a short period, I'm definitely looking forward to getting back to our regularly scheduled program. I don't like not having backup. I irrationally worry about what would happen to Jacob if something happened to me while Craig was gone. On Tuesday when I was running, I thought about what would happen if I somehow became incapacitated mid-run. I was franctically looking for a pen so I could fill out my emergency info on the back of my runner number. Long story short, your mind screws with you. It's been weird to not have an instant connection to Craig, particularly in this age of ever-present cell phones. The time difference is a challenge as well.
As a whole I think I've done okay keeping sane despite Jacob's constant need to test me. Sunday was bad but for the most part I've kept my cool. I've yelled...a lot...but what else can I do when he just doesn't listen? He doesn't like when I really yell loud (it's one of the few things that really upsets him), but once in a while when he is blatantly ignoring me, sometimes it has to come out. But even when I've yelled, I try to be matter-of-fact about it ("If you'd listen the first time, I wouldn't have to yell."). Someone has to be in control, right? I try.
As for my to do list that I came up with before the trip, here's how things stand:
1) We still haven't been to the zoo. However, I am planning on going tomorrow as long as the weather holds up.
2) We went to the Lilac Fesitval. It was a relatively short trip, but it was nice.
3) I've done pretty well with going to bed early. I had one less-than-stellar night, but for the most part I've gone to bed somewhere between 10:30 and 11:00, which is a good hour or so earlier than usual. Not bad. However, I haven't really felt much of a difference. I haven't had as many "imminent nod-off" moments at work as usual, but I can't say I feel too refreshed in the morning. I suppose it could be a lot of other factors this week--the race, busy evenings of laundry and catching up on mail, TV, bills, dishes, etc.--but I suppose on a long term basis it could be the only way to "catch up" on the sleep I've lost over the past three years.
4) We've tried one new food--zucchini--and tried one new application of a much-loved food--pizza made on a pita. I made breaded zucchini and baked it as part of a meal earlier in the week, and Jacob seemed to like it. He didn't eat much that meal as a whole, but a few zucchini spears did make it in. Tonight I made pizzas on pitas, and that went over very well. As a whole it's just hard to plan ahead, buy the food, and have the time to make new things when you're flying solo.
5) I still haven't sorted through Jacob's artwork. I have been dying to do it, but hopefully tomorrow. Tonight our house is cold from the surprisingly cold, rainy day today, and I don't want to turn on the heat so I'm snuggled under a blanket on the couch with a warm computer and a cold nose. I really do want to get a good start on this, though. I did, however, look at frames today at AC Moore. I think shadow boxes might be too expensive but they did have cheap box frames like I was picturing. I still need to see what kind of artwork we have to display before I settle on a type, though.
6) We did have a picnic. The weather was pleasant on Wednesday evening so I packed up a wrap for me, a sandwich for Jacob, some string cheese for him, some other snacks for both of us, and some strawberries for dessert. I put the food, our drinks, and a blanket in a big (non-picnic) basket, and we took a blanket out to the backyard. We had a lovely little picnic. I think I'll have a picture to post from it, but I haven't pulled it off the camera yet. After that we went out to play with chalk, but that ended in disaster. Not only did Jacob get cranky, but he peed in his big boy underwear for the first time after a few successful evenings of big boy underwear. That's been followed by some poopy diapers, too. Ugh. What are the odds he'll be the one kid that goes to kindergarten without being potty trained?
7) I ran my race, and as documented in my last post, it was fantastic. I'm now a little worried about a sore knee (only one) that feels like it's going to blow out every time I try to climb stairs or kneel on it, but I'm hoping it just needs a little rest. Boo.
8) We haven't played with markers yet. I'm still trying to work that into the schedule.
9) He hasn't gotten a high hoop. I was going to bring his hoop outside Sunday, but then he ruined that and we just haven't had a good opportunity for it since.
10) We've obviously been working on the potty training with mixed success, and I did go get the bedrail but have not had the guts to put it up. I don't really want to tackle that alone. I have a small enough reserve of patience, and most days Jacob has used a good portion of that up. If I had to spend an entire precious evening going up and down stairs trying to keep him in bed, I think I'd lose it. We'll be traveling again for at least part of next weekend, so hopefully the weekend after. I think one week shy of three years in a crib is more than enough.
So, not too bad. We still have a couple days to go, and those should be action-packed. Hopefully the weather holds up and we can have a lot of fun. Time has gone relatively fast, and I'm sure this three-day weekend will be much the same...not to mention the entire summer to come. Here goes nothing...