Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Drugs

I must say that it is amazing (and a little scary) how obvious it is when medication is affecting me.  Like clockwork, right when I downgraded to one prednisone a day, my mood brightened considerably.  Not that everything is all smiles and rainbows, but I could at least get through the day without wanting do harm to someone or something for some invalid reason.  While I am still immensely nervous about Craig's time away, I am considerably more zen about it all.  While I know time to adjust has played a factor, I'm pretty darn sure that the meds were making me extra cranky about it.  I'm at least back to a fairly stable point all around, so that's a good feeling. 

However, now I can really tell that my antihistamine nose spray is making me sleepy.  I've got this sort of floaty feeling going on today, and while part of me feels awake and productive, another part of me just wants to lay down and take a relaxing little nap.  It's a more casual feeling than most days when I'm tired at work...more like, "Oh, how nice it would be to lay my head down and rest," as opposed to, "I am so freaking tired I just need to sleep."  I think I'm channeling Sleepy Smurf or something.  I just sort of want to float onto a pillow, lay in the glorious sunshine, and wake up feeling refreshed.  So, yeah, I'm guessing this isn't going to be any sort of long-term treatment option for me. 

Regardless, I go to the doctor tomorrow and I still have a couple days left on the prednisone.  Still no miraculous recovery, so hopefully the doctor has another plan.  I'm fully expecting that I'll be going to an allergist to get retested and get a long-term plan of attack to keep my allergies at bay, and rightly so as it's long overdue.  My biggest concern in the long run (aside from my smell and taste issues) is how I can keep that plan afloat despite wanting to have another baby at some point in the not-too-distant future.  Presumably anything I go on will not be pregnancy/nursing safe, so I'll be back off medication at some point and probably facing a lot of the same issues I have now.  Somehow I made it through my last pregnancy without drugs, though I definitely wonder how that happened and worry that I just got lucky.  It's still too early to really worry about all of this, but it's definitely something I have to remember to bring up with the doctor. 

So what's the point of all of this blog-wise?  Well, Jacob's off to the doctor himself tomorrow, back to the pediatric pulmonary doctor who has dealt with his reflux and cough issues for the last two years.  We go twice a year right now, and I am really hoping this one will be able to be phased out soon.  I'd have to think his reflux has trailed off by this age, and while he does still get a cough when he's sick, I don't think he's much different than any other kid at this point.  And for the $50 copay, it would be a relief to be done.  He's still on reflux meds, and I am really hoping we get the green light to wean him off.  Yesterday my cousin mentioned to me that she didn't like the way her reflux meds made her feel.  Hearing that and knowing how my medications over the last couple weeks have been affecting me, it made me wonder if Jacob might be a new kid once he's weaned off his.  As much as they say that the stuff he's on has little-to-no side effects, I do wonder if maybe there's something there--appetite issues, behavioral stuff, general discomfort, or just being "off".  Who knows?  He's been on Claritin for the last couple years, too, which I don't necessarily ever see getting him off (though sometimes I think it'd be interesting to try), but I wonder sometimes about that, too.  I hate the thought of pumping chemicals into my little boy each day, and I'd have to think that the less of that there is, the better.  To a point, anyway.  God knows some chemicals are lifesavers. 

Some days I feel like Jacob is destined to end up with cancer based on all the things I read.  From his medicines to artificial sweeteners and dyes, chemicals in sunscreen and exposure to radiation from digital phones, cell phones, and wireless networks, little of the news is good.  And then the kid goes and ends up with a "slightly irregular" mole at the age of two.  Oy.  Now that I spend a good portion of time with my netbook in the evenings and Craig has a Blackberry in his pocket almost all the time, I tend to wonder about the quality of our various reproductive organs these days and how I will ever avoid barraging a fetus with radiation when the time comes.  Did you know they make radiation blocking blankets for that?  The whole thing is just worrisome, but unfortunately there probably isn't a lot that we can do at this point based on our lifestyle and the world as a whole.  Little things, yes, but there's a lot of big picture stuff going on that just won't be very changeable.  All we can do is pray that the effects are minimal and everyone comes out unscathed.  The "norm" in our world may change dramatically in the next couple generations based on all of this technology and all of the things we keep creating that manage to damage us further.  Health may not be what it is today, despite any advances in treating the problems we have now.  It's crazy to think about, but I definitely think the world would be a better place if we went back to basics, but hopefully we will just evolve to make us more resistant to some of this stuff.  I hope.

So, tomorrow will be an interesting day medically and I hope we come out of it with some good news...because for both of us, it's been two years in the making.

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