Saturday, June 20, 2009

One Year

Well, we've made it. We've officially survived one year as parents. And Jacob has survived one year with us as parents. Not sure who should be more relieved :) We even got through his first birthday party, though it was crazy at times. I used to think throwing a party was chaotic. Now that I have a baby, I don't think I even have a word for it. It's hard to be everywhere and do everything at once, so thank goodness for good help! My parents and Lori, in particular, were fantastic today. My parents watched Jacob while Craig and I did a last minute run to the store. While we were gone my dad hopped on a ladder (in the rain) to unclog our gutter. When we got back, my mom and Lori did a lot of prep work while I worked on the cake, and amongst all of us we somehow kept Jacob occupied and relatively happy. I felt bad about how little time I spent with Jacob this morning, and his hug felt good once the cake was done. I missed him :) The party had its ups and downs, but I definitely think I'd like to rework things when the time comes for baby #2. Jacob ended up pretty squirmy and cranky by gift opening, and was even less happy when we did the cake. Perhaps we'll have to schedule in a nap mid-party, or just change around the schedule so at least gifts come before the energy starts to wane. Let's see if I remember that by then. But it was great to have everyone here...kudos to everyone who drove in from Buffalo in the horrible rain. Thank goodness we have a pretty good party house, between the garage and the basement. Would have been nice to utilize the patio and yard, but oh well.

So, we have a one year old. He's been sleeping like a newborn lately, but hopefully it's just another phase. I've definitely been thinking about where I was at any given moment these last couple days a year ago, from my blog posts yesterday to being up at 3am wishing Jacob a happy birthday through his cries, to fleeting thoughts this morning when we woke up that he would already have been in the special care nursery. Funny how natural it is to think back on a year ago, but how a year ago I never even considered what today would be like a year later as we got ready for his party or dealt with life with a one year old. I guess it's all pretty overwhelming when you have a baby, and particularly when your baby is sick, you can't even begin to look that far ahead. You spend a lot of days over the next year just taking it day by day, unsure how you're going to get it due to lack of sleep, an illness that seems never ending, or a new phase you haven't quite adjusted to. And 365 days later, we've made it this far. I still freak out a lot and wish I felt more comfortable. There are moments that mommyhood is amazing, and I hope those increase as I "get" him more. The lack of communication these days is frustrating, because you know he's close but just not there. He has a heck of a lot more to communicate about these days than the tiny little baby we puzzled over for so long, so we're often left wondering why he's upset. But of course, by the time we're done with that frustration, there will undoubtedly be other things to worry about!

It was amazing to watch him today in his better moments, with his playful nature and his ever-improving eating habits. He's such a big boy, so independent compared to the tiny, helpless little baby we brought home. I've amused myself the last week or two with a video I posted when Jacob was just a few days old. How far he's come! Of course, looking back I wish I had way more of that stuff. Even today I wish I had more pictures and better video (and what I do have I promise I will post soon) to commemorate the day, because Jacob only turns one once. But yeah, it was a busy day and it was hard to pull it all off.

Anyway, it was a great day but I am glad it's over. Thanks again to everyone who came, for being a part of the day, for the gifts, and for any other assistance you may have provided, even if it was just keeping the birthday boy occupied for a few minutes while his parents ran around like crazed lunatics! We really appreciate it. Happy Birthday, Jacob!

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