Friday, February 6, 2009

Three Years Ago

Three years ago today I took a big step in shaping my life as it is now. That was the day I started my current job. It was a huge step to leave the sports world, but it was something that had to be done. Sports had been pretty good to me, at least in some ways. I had wanted to work in sports for years, and it allowed me to make a few dreams come true...seeing all the behind-the-scenes stuff, hosting a TV show, meeting the love of my life...and a lot of it was a ton of fun. I had good friends (more like dysfunctional family members) and for better or for worse, my life revolved around that job. I never really loved the central tasks of my actual position, but I did what I could to keep it fun and get the job done well.

After a while the job really began to wear on me, for a lot of reasons. Long hours, low pay, friction with my boss, and being able to discuss little else with Craig at home really started to get old, and I realized one day how the job had just beat me down. I knew we wanted to have kids at some point, and for many reasons it couldn't happen working there. Not enough money or time ranked right up there, but I remember thinking for ages that based on my emotional state from being so drained all the time, I couldn't even fathom the emotional commitment it would take to have a child. I was just spent.

I finally got up the guts to send out my resume to a headhunter, and before I knew it I had an interview there, then an interview for my current job. It all happened very quickly (three weeks or so), and bolstered by another argument with my then-boss, I swore to myself that if I got offered the job, I would take it. And I did. I had absolutely no idea if I would like it or if I was really even a good fit for the position, but I figured that ultimately it didn't matter. I was smart and could learn, and I would do what I could to make it work. And if it was really awful, I'd keep worse off than I was before, and gaining more experience and making more money in the meantime.

Thankfully, that was never an issue. It took a while to settle in, but since I found my niche, it's been a great job. Good hours, great pay, and low stress, but challenging enough to keep me engaged without making me crazy. And most importantly, the extra time and money made it possible to have a baby. It also allowed me to get my sanity back, which was integral to surviving parenthood emotionally and mentally. I still have my moments, of course, but I never would have been able to do it in my old job. I know now more than ever that we never could have done it with both of us working in sports. All the evenings and weekends that Craig works make that abundantly clear. As much as I beat myself up sometimes for being a working mom, I'm grateful that I have a normal schedule and am only away from him for the time that I am. I know that Craig must hate when he comes home and Jacob's already in bed.

I am extremely grateful that I had the guts to change jobs, because it was the beginning of the path to the life we have now. All of it shows God's perfect timing. That I got this job alone was miraculous, because it originally had been given to someone else, who then decided she was afraid to work downtown. I interviewed with the headhunter just as that was happening, which opened the door for me. The argument with my old boss really convinced me to take the job even though I wasn't sure if it was what I was looking for--definitely the push I needed. In the end it is really a great fit for me, from the organizational and creative aspects, to having great bosses (they surprised me with cupcakes and a little gift this afternoon!), to just a general good fit with my lifestyle. And the fact that I had such a good setup for my maternity leave (my old co-worker who was available to come back and work remotely for the summer) was great. It really turned into a nearly perfect scenario. And it all began three years ago today...

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