Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Reality Check

Yesterday I had to set up a follow-up appointment with the doctor I saw on Monday.  They told me a pharmacy would be contacting me to set up delivery of hCG, a hormone that's part of the process we're going through.  We didn't really go over the exact details of how this whole thing would be progressing, so I had to call the doctor today to make sure I was clear on the schedule, how the hCG would be administered (thank goodness I don't have to give myself a shot!), and all those other little (BIG) details.  But the mere fact I was on the phone talking with someone about having hCG shipped to my house really made me stop for a second and be like, "Wow, this is really happening."  I'm not sure if it's more the baby-making thing or the fertility thing or something else, but yeah, let's just say I'm feeling a little crazy when I think about the next few weeks. 

In addition to this fertility stuff, Jacob turns four in two weeks!  I can hardly believe it.  Perhaps it's just all this baby talk lately that makes it really hit home that he's such a big boy and we're so far removed from that day four years ago.  Of course, we wanted to be able to revisit that newborn experience sooner than this, and quite frankly, the life I envisioned us living by the time Jacob turned four is probably pretty far off from what it is now.  I'm not sure I really knew what to expect, but I guess I figured I'd be an old pro at this parenting thing, with another baby in tow or at least another well on the way.  Now I can't help but wonder if I'll ever figure this parenting thing out, and the new baby timeline isn't really something I even want to guess on right now.  There have been other changes, like minor adjustments to Craig's job and our house move, but for whatever reason I think I expected more of myself as a mom of a preschooler.  More what, I have no idea.  Maybe I was hoping, for example, to not be an anxiety-ridden mess at the thought of creating another birthday cake for Jacob.  Party planning is not my forte, even though I really want to do it well.  And after the cake debacle last year, I am absolutely panicked at the thought of messing up again.  Maybe I should just try to go way simple, but geez...I'd like to do something cool.  As a preview, Jacob is expecting a soccer cake.  He may change Halloween costumes on a daily basis, but that soccer cake has stuck like glue for the past couple months.

Oh, and if the upcoming birthday wasn't enough, I walked into daycare yesterday to the news that Jacob is moving up to the four year old room as of next Monday.  I knew it was coming, but I guess the move comes a couple weeks earlier than anticipated and it's throwing me off a bit.  Jacob says that one of his best buddies is coming with him (and there are a couple other friends who moved up within the last few months), but his equally soccer-crazed friend is probably going to be left in the other room for a bit, so I'm a little cautious about that transition.  He's also very close to his teachers.  They're young and fun, and he's pronounced himself married to both of them during his time in that room.  So, while he knows the teachers he's going to have and seems to like them, their personalities are quite different so I think it's going to be a very different feel for him in the new room.  Plus he'll actually have to focus a little more on big boy skills like writing his name.  I have asked him a few times if we could work on that, but he refuses.  I want to enhance his learning at home, but I can't really do it if he won't cooperate, and I don't want to push so hard it turns him off to it completely.  Hmmm. 

Normally he gets very good reviews from daycare regarding his behavior and intelligence, but we only see glimpses because he's too busy being a smart-talking, non-listening, sports-playing child when he's home.  Today, however, his SHIRT got taken away because he was being so naughty.  I have no idea why his Captain America shirt became the disciplinary tool, but it was.  Apparently he wasn't listening, but we can't quite get out of him what he wasn't listening to, or why.  So, yeah, he had to wear one of the daycare shirts for part of the day.  Weird.  But I don't doubt he was being a pain-in-the-neck, because we see that side far too often.  Not sure which room he was in when that happened (he has been spending time in the four year old room), but he's either going out or coming in with a bang, I guess. planning, baby-making, and daycare changes would be enough, but then we get to add in a couple of things this weekend, then Father's Day, our niece & nephew's birthday, and a couple roadtrips for Craig, and it's a really busy month ahead.  I'm getting tired just thinking about it...

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