Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Happy Anniversary...

I forgot to mention in my post yesterday that it was Craig's and my 7th anniversary. How time has flown...particularly these past couple years. I looked back at anniversary blog posts from the last couple years, and it appears that the celebrating has definitely been kept to a minimum since Jacob was born. Not that we ever did anything particularly fancy, but neither post says anything about going out to dinner or anything like that. Considering anniversary #5 was the day after Jacob came home, I can't say I was surprised about that one. Last year I'm not sure if we ended up doing anything, but I have a feeling that last year fell victim to the same thing as this year--that we're generally so busy these days that making arrangements for a babysitter and dinner out seems like more work than it's worth. We had a night out last Monday anyway, so even though it wasn't particularly romantic, it was still a night out. Last night Craig had a late softball game and I figured I'd at least give myself an easier evening by getting one of those yummy rotisserie chickens from the grocery store for dinner. I did a couple easy side dishes and that was that. Once Craig left I had a little time with Jacob before bed and spent the rest of the evening dusting the house and trying to organize a bit in preparation for having people over to the house on Saturday for Jacob's party. I'm not making myself nuts since the house will just get dirty again, but I think giving it a good dusting and general cleaning would be a good idea. No one needs visual proof that we sometimes live among a layer of filth.

That may seem like a sad way to spend my anniversary, but really, the amount of satisfaction I get from being productive (which, let's be honest, only happens when I'm home alone or when Craig is doing much the same--like Sunday morning) is probably just as enjoyable as a nice dinner out minus Jacob. And, sadly, it probably does a similar amount of good for the state of our marriage. Isn't there some saying about a clean home being a happy home? Or is it just "If Mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy?" ;-)

I'll admit it's a little sad how much of a non-event our anniversary seems these days. You know how around Jacob's birthday I was doing a series of "at this moment" things thinking back to the events surrounding Jacob's birth? I think I did much the same with our anniversary in the years before Jacob. "Right now I was getting my hair done," or "Right now we had gotten through the ceremony and were getting pictures done," etc. I think I thought about that stuff once or twice this year, but not with nearly the same passion that I did when thinking about Jacob. And I suppose that's just part of the progression of our lives, rather than a reflection on our marriage itself. For the first five years we were married, it was all about us. I had the time to indulge in lovely memories of our wedding day. After all, it was the best day of our lives! But once Jacob came along, for better or worse, it really became all about him. The girl that got married seven years ago yesterday seems miles away from who I am today. My priorities are vastly different and my world revolves around a two-year-old little boy. It's just a different life, and I think it's easier to relate to the day I had Jacob than it is to the relatively carefree time when we got married. Sad but true, I guess. It doesn't make it any less important; just evidence of a lot of steps down a very long road. Getting farther away from where you started doesn't make that starting point any less a part of the journey...but the scenery you're looking at at this point in time is definitely more pertinent to your daily life.

Admittedly, it would have been nice to go out for a lovely dinner, just the two of us...or even better, all three of us if there was a 100% guarantee that Jacob would actually sit and eat and behave like a sweet, perfect child. And although it wasn't in the cards for our actual anniversary this year, there's nothing stopping us from picking another day somewhere down the road when things are far more convenient, where we can reminisce and enjoy each other's company just as we would have on our actual anniversary. It's just another day in the grand scheme of things. Whether or not it's significant on the calendar, it's still just a day--a mere moment in long marriage. And as long as we do find the time to appreciate each other and think back, which, admittedly, we should do more, that one day isn't going to make or break things. They say that it's less about the wedding day and more about the marriage, and I tend to think anniversaries are the same. Just as one great anniversary day doesn't make up for a year-long bad marriage, one iffy anniversary day doesn't destroy a solid marriage. Should it have been more celebratory? Probably. But will I let it bother me? Nope. We're blessed, and that's all that truly matters.

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