Monday, July 18, 2011

And so it begins...

Remember how I blogged about not being sure which details to share or not to share as we go through the process of having another baby?  Well, here's one that may be TMI, but it'll give you some insight into how crazy this process is, from start to finish. 
I'm off birth control but we're not trying yet.  We're still a bit off from our ideal timing, for one, and second, they recommend giving your body some time to flush out the birth control hormones and get back on track naturally.  As you may recall, last time that was a bit of a process.  My first post-pill cycle went a week longer than usual, and then I went more than two months without a period and didn't even know when I finally ovulated.  Well, today should have marked the beginning of my first post-pill period, and so far, no sign...not even a single warning cramp.  That's not a big deal, obviously, because most cycles aren't perfect.  Having been on the pill for years (started on it long ago for cramp control), I'm not used to waiting even an extra day or two, so this is going to be a bit of an adjustment.  But knowing how things went last time, even one day is making me nervous that we're in for a long process once again.  It was hard last time, and I'm nervous about going through that again this time.  I never got to blog about the torture of negative pregnancy tests and not knowing what was happening, so maybe you'll be treated to that this time around.  Bet you can't wait.  Ha!

Long story short, while I'm not worrying yet, it just brought back to mind all the agonizing we went through last time, from August through November, finally ending (or at least changing significantly) the moment we found out I was pregnant.  But for those four months, we had no idea what was going on and it was really, really hard.  And yet, we were the lucky ones because it all worked out perfectly...and it happened quickly compared to what so many people go through.  It's just amazing how quickly the doubt creeps back in. 

We'll get there and things will work out eventually, but it's definitely interesting to be getting back to that place and that mindset.  It's the first baby step of a very long journey...

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