I remember back when Jacob was a newborn that I would dissect every move he made. When he stretched like a maniac in the morning, I wondered why. When he made his funny face when he pooped, I thought it was cute but strange. When he'd refuse food one day that he liked previously, I was completely perplexed. But inevitably, each time something came up that I didn't entirely understand, something would happen later that would enlighten me. Suddenly one morning I'd catch myself doing a similar series of stretches before getting out of bed. Or I'd notice what face I was making while going #2 and realize that we must all make a face of some sort. Or I'd realize that just because we like a certain food doesn't mean we're always in the mood for it...so maybe when Jacob rejected something he previously liked, he just wasn't in the mood that day for whatever it was. While we as adults can generally pick our own food (or pick the best option of what's available), babies with changing tastes have no such option and can't express whether they don't like it or just don't want it. Inevitably, there's probably always a logical explanation somewhere in there.
Fast forward to last night. I put Jacob to bed and nothing was really out of the ordinary, except that his little light-up musical aquarium's batteries had died so he didn't have the aid of that to fall asleep. Regardless, I don't think I heard a peep out of him after just five minutes alone in bed. He did start coughing from time to time about an hour or so later, but that never wakes him up, believe it or not. Shortly after midnight, he woke up and was instantly screaming bloody murder for me. Craig was, at that moment, on a flight from Chicago to Buffalo (en route from a Knighthawks roadtrip to the Seattle area), so it was all me. I got up and tried to calm Jacob down. He settled back into bed after a little rocking and back rubbing, but didn't last long after I closed his door. So, not long after I was back up trying to calm him down again. Nothing seemed to work, so after trying a couple tricks, I let him come sleep with me for a little bit. He seemed too freaked out and wide awake to leave alone--he'd instantly cry--so I figured that was my best option if I wanted to sleep. While he was relatively quiet and well-behaved, he tossed and turned a LOT. So even though I wasn't sure he was asleep enough to put back in his crib, about an hour after I brought him in, I did just that. And he was fine. Whew. Of course, my sleep was irrevocably disturbed and got no better as I waited and wondered about what time Craig would arrive home. His flight was delayed and he wasn't supposed to get into Buffalo until 1:30am, and then he had to drive back to Rochester. He ended up having to wait an hour for luggage, so he didn't get in until after 4am. So throughout the night I probably never had more than a couple hours in a row of decent sleep. Ugh. But in the midst of it all I wondered why Jacob was having trouble sleeping. Was he not feeling well? Could the coughing be a symptom of a worse illness? Was his odd napping schedule yesterday to blame? Did he have a bad dream? I'll never know, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he doesn't need a reason to have a bad night's sleep. We all have them, for any number of reasons. There are nights when, for no apparent reason, I'll sleep like crap. My brain won't turn off, I can't get comfortable, etc. And even if it was any one of those things that was bothering him, he probably can't quite express that yet anyway. He had a bad night, and so do the rest of us once in a while. One night out of a long span of nights may not make a Monday morning any easier, but I really can't complain. He's been sleeping pretty well all along with the exception of a couple moments during a couple nights here and there, and those aren't even that significant.
The moral to this story is that at a moment when babies seem like the world's biggest mystery, sometimes it helps to just look at them like a tiny human being...which, of course, they are. Sometimes it's hard to be logical when you're up at 2am or when you're in hyper-worry mode. But most of the time, that little baby is just being a tiny little human being with the same tendencies as the rest of us.
In other news, we had a nice weekend considering it was just the two of us. We took a trip to the zoo with Lori and went to his little friend's birthday party on Saturday, then went to church and did some shopping last night. We finally bought a potty, a little Fisher-Price frog one. I will continue my quest for a highly rated potty seat as well, but for now this will have to do. Each will have their own use in time, I think. Jacob likes to sit on the potty but hasn't actually done anything while sitting there yet. This is going to be a LONG process. Not that I thought it would be quick, but you know...we're not even at step one yet! :) I'll post pics of the weekend adventures soon...