Halloween Treats Conundrum

I'm not sure what to do about Jacob's Halloween candy. He's got a bunch of it, a full pumpkin worth of snacks. Fruit snacks, candy bars, Sweet Tarts, and more, all waiting for him to eat it. Obviously I don't want him filling up on crap. He had one candy bar the other night and was a hyper mess (but as I mentioned, part of that might have been his super-nap earlier in the day). If he eats his dinner reasonably well, I don't have a problem with giving him a piece of candy. We're getting dangerously close to bedtime, though, so it's still a risk. And at this rate, with one piece of candy per day (if he's lucky--Jacob's not a great eater), he'll be eating Halloween candy at Christmas.

So, do we eat it? I feel bad depriving him of candy he rightfully earned, but at this point he won't really notice. We were sort of planning on eating all of the peanut butter stuff since we haven't tried peanut products with him yet and are nervous about an allergic reaction. However, maybe now's the time to give it a shot and just be ready to head to the emergency room. I'm pretty sure he's ok because we've been around peanuts before, primarily at baseball games, and he's been fine. But you just never know, especially since his cousin has an allergy. Still, I'd really love to add peanut butter sandwiches to his list of available foods. Buuuuut......I'd also really like to eat that Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, too.

I also have a little guilt about knowingly feeding him food that has absolutely no nutritional value. I know he's a kid and it happens. And I know that I probably assign value to other crap foods in hopes he's getting some benefit from the few things he will routinely eat...like the calcium in pizza cheese or the protein in chicken nuggets. Heck, during the winter I often give him canned fruit for dessert, just because it's fruit. But did you know there's very little nutritional value in that stuff? I did notice that pineapple and mandarin oranges maintain a good serving of vitamin C, but that's about it. But it's fruit, right? Well, fruit devoid of nutrients and laced with BPA from the can lining. Ugh. He'll sometimes eat an apple, and he really liked clementines last year so I think we'll do well with those and oranges, but still...I try to make sure that nearly everything he eats has some sort of positive. Other than enhancing his childhood experience, candy's got nothing. I don't want to deprive him of the cool things I enjoyed as a kid--candy, sugar cereals, Kool-Aid, soda pop, Twinkies, etc.--but I tend to think we know more now about nutrition and the effects of bad eating than we did when I was a kid. Every food has very clear labeling and there's so much more education out there. While I don't want to deprive him of fun treats, I feel like a bad mom encouraging him to eat crap. I know it's not good for him and I don't want to set him up for bad habits. We should all probably give up junk food to set a good example, but heck, the mere fact that I can't fathom giving it up after eating it my whole life shows that it's a tough habit to break, and if possible, we should prevent it from ever starting.

But inevitably he'll run into bad foods in one place or another, so instead of depriving him and having him gorge later, I suppose the answer to this is the same as with most things--moderation. Let him be a kid and have some candy, but teach him to moderate himself. A couple pieces at a time, at most. That still leaves us with the issue of eating candy until Christmas, but perhaps it will teach us willpower, right?

Wild Weekend

We definitely had a wild weekend...thanks to domesticated wild animals, visiting the "wild-erness", and some unfortunately wild behavior by our dear son. Let's start from the beginning...

The end of Thursday and beginning of Friday were a bit crazy, with lots of costuming and baking to attend to in preparation for Halloween. Thursday I had to finish my costume (a grocery bag), bake cookies for Jacob's class (ok, the ready-to-bake ones, but still...), and make two loaves of pull-apart bread for my office. People love when I make it and it had been requested...but I always have to make two! Friday morning I had to get Jacob into his costume (not a hard one, but with Jacob it always takes more effort than should be necessary), pack up my costume, warm up my bread and make the glaze, then head out. I did it all successfully, and then spent most of the day in a total food coma. In case you're curious, here's a picture of my grocery bag. I sewed two Wegmans bags together, put the straps over my shoulders, and filled it with carefully placed groceries. I won the "Most Clever" award at work :) Jacob's day apparently went fine as well, and he brought home a haul of candy and other treats from daycare...enough that those treats and his prior haul from the Amerks game last weekend pretty much filled one of those big trick-or-treat pumpkins.

Friday night we went to the circus. Craig got a couple tickets for free, so off we went. I don't ever recall going to the circus, but if I did, I was young. So it was a first for Jacob and me. We got there a bit late (cranky child at dinner!) and just saw the zebras and horses as they headed off the floor. We did get to see a lot, though, including swinging acrobats, tightrope walkers, people shot out of a cannon, trained dogs, lots of magic, and some silly clowns. Jacob liked the people playing badminton (tennis, if you ask him) upside down. We also saw tigers and elephants, and they were pretty impressive. Jacob also really liked the popcorn, as usual. Here's the latest in our series of popcorn-eating pictures: And here's a good shot of the elephants. Watching the animals was fascinating, but it felt just a little wrong since I'm pretty sure elephants don't do this for fun in the wild: The next morning my parents came in to visit since we hadn't seen them in ages. It was a pleasant but slightly cold day, and we decided to go out and do some geocaching at a park near our house. We pinpointed three that looked doable, and set out to find them. It was mostly easy hiking, but Jacob decided he wanted to be carried for a lot of it. Still, we had a nice time and Jacob got a couple trinkets out of it from a couple of the ones we found. One took forever...so long, in fact, that Jacob fell asleep during it and we all took turns passing him around while we looked. Prior to that, however, I took this awesome picture... Yes, he's sitting on a tree that went across the trail. He loved it! My parents and I left Craig and Jacob in the car to find the third one, which was creatively hidden in a rotted log, and then headed off to lunch. My parents came back to the house for a little while before heading for home, and we struggled to get Jacob down for a nap since he'd had the cat nap earlier...and yet he really seemed to need it. He did sleep for a bit (and so did I), but I swear we both woke up groggier than we were originally. Still, we forged ahead and carved pumpkins that night. We had four to choose from but only ended up doing two. I figure I can keep the other two around as outdoor decorations a little longer. Two was enough!

Here's Jacob's first look at pumpkin guts. He didn't really seem interested in touching it, but he did use the scoop that came with the carving kit to "pretend" he was scooping out goop. He was relatively well-behaved, other than a scribbling incident on the newspaper than went through to the (new!) table. Here are the boys enjoying the fun...And here's Jacob with one finished pumpkin...this is the one he brought home from his daycare field trip to the pumpkin patch... Sunday was one big struggle. Church and lunch were both disasters. Jacob did end up taking a nap from about 2pm to just before 5pm, so while in theory that was good, it ended up being a little too much fuel for him and he was hyper for the rest of the night. I'm not sure how much was the supernap vs. the piece or two of candy he had, but ugh...it made for a tough end to a tough day overall. However...we did get him into his costume and he did do a great job trick-or-treating. Craig took one for the team and went out with him into the rain and sleet! I would have taken the second shift if Jacob would have wanted to go back out, but they stayed out for a while and Jacob was ready to stay home and play. He brought back a bunch of candy and some other miscellanous things like a pack of microwave popcorn and a wooden space shuttle model kit(!). Craig said Jacob was more fascinated by the kids running around than he was by anything else. He was creeped out by one well-decorated house in our neighborhood (and still talking about it this morning), and was excited to see a lacrosse net AND a basketball hoop at a house around the corner. Here he is prior to heading out....and yes, I am thankful that his costume was inherently waterproof!And here is our final pumpkin display... And finally, here's a cute picture from a momentary rest in the midst of his hyper evening, post-trick-or-treating...and yes, he was playing soccer with Daddy. By now his hockey sticks had all been confiscated after one too many high sticking incidents, so he was relegated to soccer. It was certainly a full weekend, and behavior aside, a good one at that. Now that November's here, I'm thinking that we're getting into the part of the year where the weekend activities are at a minimum. We still seem to find plenty to keep us busy, but the fun, premeditated activities that keep us busy all through the good weather portion of the year are definitely winding down...at least until the Christmas season. Then we cram a ton into the period between Thanksgiving and the New Year before retreating back into hermit-hood for a few more months. That's not an entirely bad thing, but my apologies if the blog gets a little blah for a bit. When we have a distinct lack of organized activities, I tend to have gaps in my photos, which always annoys me when I look back and wonder if I missed any subtle changes in Jacob's appearance from one point to another. It bugs me more looking back on his tiny baby era photos, but perhaps in a few years any gaps from this period will be equally annoying. Hopefully I'm more diligent and still manage to find something more interesting to take pictures of than Jacob running around the house with sports equipment!

The Little Things

Amidst our current frustrations with Jacob, there are times when it is hard to look at the bright side and see the silver lining. We love him, obviously, but when your child tries your patience at every opportunity, it's hard to be positive. For example, the other night I worked out, and we decided to go out and grab a quick dinner. It was late, I was tired, and while I would have cooked, it just seemed easier and quicker to go grab something. Of course, before we could get out the door, Jacob was freaking out because a) he was watching "Air Bud"; b) he wanted to bring multiple hockey sticks (not just one); and c) we tried to put on his jacket. All of this led to a major tantrum. And actually, the jacket thing leads to a tantrum pretty much every morning now. And any attempt to pull Jacob away from his hockey sticks or hockey guys is usually met with some sort of tantrum or complete denial and continuation of playing. It's not fun. Speaking of not fun, his tendency to just lay down on the floor in the middle of public places is driving me insane. He'll do it in the middle of a tantrum or when he's just happy and silly. Makes. Me. Nuts.

Anyway, once we were there he insisted on feeding himself--meaning, if we helped him by giving him a fork full of food, he refused it. But then when he had the fork himself, he'd either make a mess of the food, nearly flinging it everywhere, or he was playing with the fork. Oh, and he ended up breaking the (plastic) fork because he was chewing on it. Awesome. He was also grabbing at his hat with greasy hands, then complaining when we took it off. But then, as we were packing up to head out, he helped me push the high chair back to its spot. He just did it. It was too cute, and I made sure to praise him for it.

So, per the title of this post, I guess I'm finding myself having to grasp on to the little things he does that make my day. Such as...

- When he finally gives me a real hug or kiss when I ask him for one

- When he sits down and/or hugs me out of the blue, like yesterday when he was watching his movie and I sat on the floor with him, and he just plopped into my lap

- When he eats all of his food without incident or serious prodding

- When he falls asleep without complaint AND sleeps through the night (knock on wood, but this has been really great lately...but strangely, I'm still tired)

- When he gets his sunglasses on by himself

- When he hugs his stuffed animals or makes them do silly things like sit on my head

- When he says, "Wanna do it again"...meaning he liked something so much that he wants to do more of it. He doesn't get visibly excited by a lot of things, so when he says that, it's nice to know he enjoyed it. I also like when he tells me that he's "excited" to do something. Nice to know that he wants to do something, even if he inevitably has some sort of meltdown when we actually go to do it.

- When he puts on his pajama pants all by himself

- When I get a real, adorable smile or even his insanely cute "cheese face" when I'm trying to take pictures

- When he says or even uses a word that I didn't know he knew...he's getting to be so smart!

- When he says a word incorrectly, but gives it the cutest spin--like the other day he must have picked up on it when I said he was running around like a maniac, and the other morning he used the word "minimac" in context and we couldn't help but laugh! Another one I loved was when my dad was showing him his juggling skills and Jacob kept calling it "gungle".

- When, even though it's been happening a little too much lately, Jacob reaches up and says, "Carry me". It's endearing and I love a good cuddle, though I'm not sure how long my back and arms can take it!

- How ridiculously cute he looks running down the hallway in his PJs, diaper, or even minus his clothes. That tush is the cutest :) And yes, I know someday he'll be rather unhappy I just typed that.

I'm sure there are more I'm missing, but that's enough to keep me smiling for a bit, at least until the next tantrum. We should have a fun weekend on tap. We're going to the circus tonight (a first for me, even) and my parents are coming to visit tomorrow. It's been a while since we've seen them, since they got back last weekend from a nine-day road trip down south, and it had been a week or two prior to that since we last visited. Sunday is, of course, Halloween, so we'll see how trick-or-treating goes. We still had a little trouble convincing him to wear his costume this morning for daycare, but I think as he realizes it is actually fun to dress up and get candy (heck, I'm 30 years older than him and I still enjoy it, as evidenced by my day today. I dressed up like a grocery bag and have eaten far more candy than I should have.), he'll want to do it more. Let's hope he figures that out by Sunday. Hopefully I'll have a few cute pictures to share soon! Happy Halloween!

The Move...A Year Later

No, you didn't lose track of time. We've only been in the new house for seven months (even still, holy cow!), but the whole process started about this time last year. I blogged at the end of October last year about the very beginning of the process--the day Jacob and I went to an open house out of pure curiosity, and how I ended up loving the house. Of course, in the end it wasn't the one we ended up with, but it was the one that provoked us to get our house in shape to go on the market. While it didn't happen in time to get that house, we were more than ready when the right one did come along. Thinking back on the past year has been pretty mindblowing, and pretty much every single night I find myself thanking God that we ended up with such a great home. There are just so many things that I love about our house, things I didn't even realize I wanted, and it's awesome to realize how well things worked out.

With the same cool weather and fall leaves as I vividly remember from when Jacob and I went to that open house last year, I've been thinking back to it a bit recently. I remember the leaves so vividly because the backyard of the house had a lot of trees, almost a woodsy feel to it. And I spent a lot of time looking at that backyard, just trying to visualize how it compared to our yard, how Craig would mow around the trees, and what kind of swing set-type contraption we might be able to fit there. That house also had a lovely deck right off the kitchen that I admired quite a bit. And just the sight of fall leaves and experiencing a Sunday where it was just Jacob and me took me right back to that day. It was all very exciting. I mean, originally when we went to the open house, it was a pure curiosity thing. I hadn't even wrapped my brain around the idea of moving. It was merely the idea of going to see a style of house that I had noticed before--fairly new, slightly contemporary, reasonable in size and price, good neighborhood--and seeing if it was something that might work for us. I seriously figured the house wasn't as good as it looked and I could just move on with my life not needing to see another one like it ever again. But the house was awesome. It was in great shape, had a huge kitchen, easy access to the yard, cathedral ceiling in the living room, a finished basement with plenty of storage, great bedroom sizes, and everything was livable, style-wise...except for maybe the horrible wallpaper in the dining room. The kitchen counters could have used some sprucing up as well, but we could have managed for a while. After all the bad luck we had looking for houses the first time around, I was shocked that the first one I looked at this time around was so good.

And that was really when it got exciting. I started to think about the possibilities, what it would be like to live in a newer house that needed less upgrading, how we could decorate it, and how we'd use each room. I still had reservations, such as the massive staircase, the size of the living room, and how I'd feel about having our computer in the basement, not to mention the homeowner's association fee we found out about later, but the house was truly good enough to get us started on the path to selling ours. But just getting that show on the road was torture. I don't think I was prepared for that, but it did validate my thinking that I did NOT want to do any of it pregnant...and since we were originally hoping to be working on baby #2 by right about now (sigh), I was shocked to realize that we were getting short on time and it was a good time to get started.

We spent most of the fall meeting with realtors and trying to figure out how to best showcase our house. I remember being a tad nervous about decorating tastefully for the holidays and deciding on and scheduling a handful of improvements. I sort of recall the rest of our fall as being a bit stressful, and spending a lot of weekends shuffling off to random open houses, just in case the other one fell through or other houses made us think twice. And in the end the house we loved ended up getting an offer before we were ready. I think it was about a month after I saw it, and a week or two before our house finally went on the market. It was bitterly disappointing, and got me extra stressed that we wouldn't find another one, let alone with the right timing to sell ours. And while not everything turned out perfectly as far as selling our house was concerned, buying the one we did turned out pretty darn great. I still remember walking into it for the first time and being shocked (in a good way) at what we saw. And now that house is ours. Sure, I'd love to have a kitchen with a little more room for our table, easier access to the outside, and to have Jacob's bedroom and the full bathroom be a little bigger, but as I said, there are so many great things about this house that I can't really complain. It fits us.

So here we are a year after we started this process, nicely settled in our new house and about to celebrate our first Halloween in the neighborhood. And after that we'll have our first Christmas season, complete with the exciting but difficult decisions on how to decorate our new space. I didn't really think much at the time about how we were spending our last fall, last Halloween, and last Christmas in our old house--probably because I was doubting that we'd ever survive the craziness...or at least was having trouble seeing past it. And I obviously had no idea in the spring and summer last year that we'd never see those seasons in that house again. I think I was so stressed out by the whole process that I only took a few rare moments to think about how sad it was to be leaving the first house we had as a family. We had some nice memories there and sometimes I still find it hard to believe we'll never be back there. On the other hand, I was super excited to get into our new house and start making new memories there. We already have, and I imagine we will for years to come. It's been a whirlwind year and it's hard to believe the move is already so far behind us. It seemed to take forever in the middle of it all, but now it all seems like a distant memory, mercifully gone in the blink of an eye. What a difference a year makes...

A Weekend Without Photos

It was bound to happen. I finally forgot the camera and it proved to be the only photo-worthy moment for the whole weekend. Ugh. When I left off on the Halloween tale of woe, Jacob had no costume. He had refused everything in the store and any of my ideas, determined to be a goalie. That was not happening for many reasons. A little while before we left for the hockey game at which he could trick-or-treat in the suites, I went up to his closet to see if I could fashion a halfway decent baseball costume from some of the jersey-ish shirts he has. But when I opened up his closet, my eye was drawn up to the fireman-themed raincoat my mom gave him for his birthday. A-ha! I knew that the Halloween store was selling fireman helmets for cheap, and Jacob likes wearing the fireman helmets at daycare (they're baseball helmets to him), so it seemed to be my best bet. It took some convincing, but it worked long enough to get him through trick-or-treating. He got a nice little pumpkin full of candy, and I let him have just a few pieces before tucking it away to reduce the odds of a sleep-interrupting sugar rush. But, since I ended up changing from the diaper bag to a backpack right before we left for the game, I forgot the camera to capture the moment. Ugh. And yes, I have decided that when I have way too much stuff to carry around, the backpack works better because it completely zips up and nothing falls out of it when I bend over or contort myself to catch Jacob as he runs away, which lately is all I feel like I do when we're together. I guess pictures of the costume will have to wait for Friday or Sunday. Assuming he'll let me put it on him again, of course.

As a whole this weekend bordered on hellish. Jacob fought us on EVERYTHING. The only time he was good was while we were at the hockey game. He sat nicely, trick-or-treated very well, and even fell asleep fairly easily once we got home. There was one downright lovely moment, actually, right at the beginning of the hockey game. There was a tribute to Craig Charron before the game, and I was all teary-eyed and sniffling for most of it. I don't know if Jacob picked up on that or not. He's not the most empatheic kid out there, after all. As the game was getting started I asked him if he wanted to sit on my lap or sit in his own seat. I'd had him in my lap so I could keep him close through the tribute, but lately he's been sitting in his own seat most of the time. He told me he wanted to sit on my lap, and then ended up giving me a big hug, totally out of the blue. I don't know why, but maybe he sensed something. It was certainly well-timed, if nothing else.

But Sunday morning it was back to more of the same. Church wasn't too bad, all things considered. A couple less than lovely moments, but he was manageable most of the time. He fell asleep on the way home from church for about 10 minutes, but woke up as I put him in his crib. He was quite awake so I figured we should just eat lunch so I could get him down for a decent nap before the Craig Charron celebration of life that started at 3pm. Well...Jacob had other plans. He refused to nap and I was at my wits' end by the time Craig stopped home from a player appearance to shower and change before heading out to the setup for the Sharky event. I sucked it up and somehow managed to get Jacob out the door. But for pretty much the entire four hour event, he was intolerable. He just wanted to play hockey and run out to look at the ice. He refused to sit still, play near us, or make it easy for us to do anything. We were constantly taking turns chasing him, grabbing him as he tried to escape from the other's grasp, or policing his high-sticking tendencies. It made it hard to really enjoy the event or properly mourn/celebrate our friend. I tried to listen to the speeches and take a few minutes to watch the photo slide show and the tape of Game 7 of the 1996 Calder Cup Finals that was playing in the background, but it wasn't easy. I was still happy we went and felt fortunate to be a part of a great event honoring a great guy, but I was so exhausted by the end. And, at long last, so was Jacob. I could see he was fading and I finally got him to the point where he laid his head on my shoulder and I could rock him to sleep. We took turns carting him around for about 30-45 minutes, and I finally packed up and headed out. He woke up when I put him in his carseat at 7pm, and I let him stay up for a bit once we got home, hoping he'd tire himself out again. He went down at 8pm with little fanfare, and slept right through until I woke him up this morning. Thank God.

I'm hoping it's all just a short phase, or that maybe he's not feeling well and it's making him extra cranky. Could be time for another doctor visit to ensure that he doesn't have an ear infection, but I guess we'll just have to watch a bit. But his behavior this weekend was intolerable. It shouldn't be a battle every time we try to do something--eat a meal, go to bed, play nicely, leave the house, change a diaper, put on a costume. He's constantly trying to run away, no matter how many times we tell him that if he does it in public someone could take him away. He'll get weepy for a second when we tell him that, but 10 seconds later he's off again. He's got no fear and seems unfazed by the amount of stress he's causing us. Sometimes he'll apologize, but that seems to happen more often when we're holding a hockey stick hostage or he wants to do something and thinks an apology will get him what he wants. Lovely. He's usually so intent on playing hockey or lacrosse that nothing will dissuade him. Usually he'll do it in the middle of someone's walking path and swing his stick around no matter whose body parts may be in the way. He was so good about that for so long, and now suddenly his stick is up all the time. Yesterday I think he would have gladly sat and stared at the ice for a long time, but obviously that wasn't really on our agenda. And while he's two and I get that adult functions (even kid-friendly ones like this one) aren't his thing, shouldn't we be trying to get him used to being polite and functional when he has to be at one? Apparently he's not buying it.

So, yeah, rough weekend. And no photos to capture the one good moment. Maybe next weekend...

Halloween Horror - An Update

So, as a follow-up to yesterday's post, I took Jacob to a couple stores this morning to try to find a Halloween costume he'd agree to. We told him last night that he couldn't be a goalie or a hockey guy because we just didn't have the stuff to do it. Craig even took him to a store with used equipment to see if they had anything, but no dice. I tried to explain to him that if he didn't pick another costume, then he couldn't go trick-or-treating. He could do it tonight at the Amerks game and again on Halloween, plus he has a party at daycare on Friday. Oh, how I miss his old daycare that did pajama day on Halloween instead!

Anyway, this morning we tried Toys 'R' Us, Old Navy, and the costume store at the mall. Toys 'R' Us just had annoying character ones, Old Navy had nothing left, but we almost had a winner at the costume store. There was a blue M&M (and since Jacob loves M&Ms I thought it was a decent fit) and a Penguins of Madagasgar costume. Jacob always liked that show, so I thought it might be fun. And both were reasonably priced. I decided against the M&M only because I had no idea what we'd put under it leg-wise, and I really didn't want to have to figure that out. But the penguin was really cute, not too heavy, and it looked like it would fit him. But he wouldn't try it on. He refused and freaked out. Rather than waste time and embarrass ourselves, I loaded him back in the stroller, put the costume back, and told him that he wouldn't be doing Halloween this year. He got upset, but I kept trying to explain to him that if he won't wear a costume, then there's nothing we can do.

What's worse, his behavior at all of our stops this morning was so bad that I opted against going to the lacrosse game this afternoon. We were all disappointed, but I was not willing to deal with Jacob in that state. When he's cranky about everything, won't stop trying to run away, and insists on playing hockey in the most inappropriate places (to the point that you can hardly move him), it's just easier to stay home. My suspicions were confirmed when I sat him down to lunch. He practically inhaled three-quarters of his sandwich and then started falling asleep in the middle of the fourth piece. I had turned my back for a few seconds to cut an apple for him, and suddenly I heard a clunk as his head hit the back of his chair. I turned around in time to see him do the head jerk and wake up momentarily. He was still insisting he wasn't tired and even tried to eat a couple pieces of apple, but it was not happening. He was pretty much out before I got him to his room. Poor kid. Even still, it looks like Halloween might not be happening this year. I guess that solves the "who stays home vs. who trick-or-treats" debate before it even got started. We still have a few days, but I'm not hopeful since most of the stores are cleared out already.

I did think of a random but cute costume on our way into the house, by the way. Do you think it would work to buy one of those Wegmans reusable grocery bags, cut holes in the bottom for his legs, use the handles as over-the-shoulder straps, and just fill it with play food? Heck, maybe I'll do that for myself! Might be worth the 99 cent investment to try! I think he'd like the play food, at least. Something to think about :)

As a side note, I'll admit that we're sometimes concerned about Jacob's stubbornness. I know he's two and that's just how two year olds are, but sometimes I can't help but think that he's a bit over the top. He's very particular about playing with his hockey guys and leaving them in the right positions when he leaves them. He often feels the need to play hockey right then and there, no matter how you try to dissuade him or move him from his spot. He will have a complete meltdown if he can't bring a certain stick with him when we go out. He completely freaks out if he can't wear a certain shirt, if we take off his sneakers, or if he can't do exactly what he wants to do at any given moment. All of these things are worthy of major meltdowns if they don't go his way, and I find myself just picking him up and slinging him over my shoulder way too much these days, just because it's one of the few positions I can get him into where it's hard for him to hit me or escape. It's pretty awful. Considering he's pretty social it's doubtful that he's got anything as serious as Asperger's, even though some of things he does are scarily consistent with the symptoms, but it doesn't stop me from worrying that there's something about his personality that's going to be a problem as he grows up. Craig told him the one day that he can't just go through life being cranky, because he's going to miss out on a lot of fun. I think that was when we were at the pumpkin patch and he was refusing to go down the big slide or climb the haybales. And I think we've all been there. I know there have been times when something should have been really fun, and I was too caught up in something not going my way to just sit back and enjoy it. That day, Jacob was so intent on doing something else (probably playing hockey) that he was missing out on the fun that was right in front of him (and wouldn't be for long). And now his insistence on being a hockey goalie and not wanting to try on costumes could cost him the fun of Halloween. It's too bad and I hope it's just a phase, but it's been happening way to much lately. Sad, isn't it?

Halloween Stress

I never realized back in the day how good I had it when it came to Halloween. If I knew what I wanted to be, I had the assistance of a crafty mother and grandmother to make it happen. If I didn't know what I wanted to be, a few minutes rummaging around said crafty grandmother's piles o' stuff generally gave me inspiration to be something. I had some fantastic costumes. Nothing flashy, perhaps, but I never had to rely on going out and buying some crappy store-bought character costume. I always had something cool and just a little bit different, generally cobbled together from an assortment of sources. From Grandma's fabrics and costume jewelry to my parents' Halloween box, from years of kid costumes that had been passed down to my mom's handiwork...there were plenty of options out there. I think I was Strawberry Shortcake one year, and my mom must have done a heck of a job on that one. I was an angel a couple years in a row. I was a cowgirl with a glittery vest another year, a gypsy with a glittery tambourine another. I was a millionairess one year, decked out in jewelry, makeup, and yes, a fur stole that might just have been real. I think my last year of trick-or-treating I did end up going to buy a witch hat, but I think I wore an old graduation gown from the Halloween box to go with it. Long story short, I was lucky to have a nice assortment of materials and a couple helpful folks to help me put it all together.

Fast forward a few more years, and I was relegated to store-bought costumes for a couple work-related Halloween events. I did a queen and a beer wench, and while I at least made a couple accessories for them (a sparkly gold crown for the queen, and beer/root beer glasses for the wench), I still felt like I was selling out. Last year I managed to get a bridesmaid dress altered and use this random silver briefcase we had to be a Deal or No Deal girl, but that's about as fun as it gets. I'm currently pondering my options for this year, and I'm getting frustrated with my lack of creativity and drive. But you know, for me, it's not a big deal.

But when it comes to Jacob, I feel bad that I'm not a fancy costume maker. Visit any number of mom blogs and the guilt starts getting worse when you see what other creative folks come up with. So far we've managed. Jacob got a hand-me-down bee costume his first year, and the fantastic mouse costume that I wore as a kid (homemade, of course) for last year, but this year I'm totally stressed. He is insisting on being a goalie. A hockey goalie. Not exactly a costume I can glue gun together. And quite frankly, even if I did, I think Jacob's smart enough to call me out on it. He wants a real helmet, real skates, and real everything else. He's been asking for a lot of that stuff for Christmas anyway, so we could kill two birds with one stone, but I have some reservations. First, I don't want to spend a ton of money on this stuff. Sure, it'd be cool to get him some skates and a helmet and let him start learning how to skate. But even if I relent and he plays organized hockey at some point, he'll outgrow pretty much anything we get now by then....so really, why not wait another year or two? We do have the option of looking into used equipment, and apparently there are skates that grow with your child, but I still don't think it's going to be cheap. Second, wearing a ton of hockey equipment is not exactly convenient for trick-or-treating or for sending in to daycare. It's too bulky, too heavy, and in the case of skates, not even remotely possible. But even in sneakers it just won't work.

My creative plan was to convince Jacob to be the hockey monkey from his favorite movie. Then I could get a standard monkey costume and just add a hockey stick and a jersey or something. It seemed like the perfect plan, but no, Jacob keeps whining that he wants to be a goalie. End of story. So here I sit a week away from Halloween festivities, and I'm clueless. And even worse, I realized that tomorrow night's Amerks game is their Halloween game with trick-or-treating in the luxury suites. We already have a busy day on tap tomorrow so I don't know that we'll even have time to pull anything off, let alone his dream goalie costume. And I don't think Jacob will be too keen on wearing anything less. Ugh. There are days he's picky about his clothes, so I don't see him being very accomodating with a potentially uncomfortable costume that's not what he wanted.

While I don't think I have to go out and spend $40 to get him a great costume, I'm lacking in creativity and time. And I don't exactly have a willing participant if things aren't perfect, so I'm worried. Quite frankly, I also don't want to put a ton of time and money into a costume only to have Jacob freak out at the most inopportune time and not want to wear it. While I know Halloween is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, I don't want to look back (or, ummm, walk into his day care room on Friday) and be embarrassed at how little effort I put into his costume. I don't want it to look like I don't care. I do care, but I'm feeling stuck. And while it would be easier to have a kid that just wants to be Buzz Lightyear or a puppy, I suppose that's just not Jacob's style. I hope someday he uses that trait for good. In the meantime it might make me crazy, but still....assuming we can get through Halloween without an emergency room visit this year, we'll have to consider it a success, right?