Letters to Baby #4 - July 9, 2012

Dear Baby-to-be,

Yesterday was the first day I wasn't feeling well, which probably marks the beginning of the tough part of pregnancy. Last time around I started feeling yucky right around this time, moved along by a busy weekend without a lot of sleep. This time around I'm pretty much dealing with the same thing, as we're on vacation visiting Uncle John, Aunt Kristin and your cousins in Aunt Kristin's hometown. Your big brother is being an absolute pain (please don't be like that) and he's not sleeping well on top of it, so it's been a rough couple days. Yesterday I had a few moments of nausea, and really started feeling some of the exhaustion. Today was better thanks to some fun activities, but I did take a two-hour nap and still woke up exhausted. I'm just noticing myself being tired at weird times, and my patience is almost non-existent, which may be a combination of being tired and being extra hormonal. God help us all for the next eight months or so. In fact, I think my due date is approximately eight months from today. I'm not sure when the magic actually happened, so in reality I'm figuring it's anywhere from the 7^th to the 9^th, though I'm voting for the 8^th since that was your Great-Grandma Binkley's birthday and it would be a great honor to have you share a birthday with her. She was an awesome woman.

The best news out of today is that my last batch of bloodwork came back looking good. So good, in fact, that I was excused from another round I was supposed to get when we got home from vacation, and got to set the appointment for our first ultrasound instead! That was exciting, though I actually wish it was scheduled a little later because I think I'll only be about seven weeks along at that point, and I think we were nearly 10 weeks last time so we could see a pretty obvious baby shape by then. You might be a little more of a blob, which might be a little disappointing. Still, it will be a relief to make sure things look good, and maybe because of the intervention we had to get this far, they'll do more than just two ultrasounds during this pregnancy. Probably not, but maybe. Anyway, it was good news to know that things are progressing as they should so far.

Thanks to the good news, we'll probably tell Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle John, and Aunt Kristin tomorrow. I'd rather tell Uncle John and Aunt Kristin in person, so that means tomorrow is pretty much our only chance. It's a bit of a risk, but they'd find out eventually even if things didn't go well, so I think it'll be okay. Everyone will be thrilled, I'm sure! Not sure how much we'll tell your brother just yet, as experts say that it's better to tell kids later because their concept of time isn't too good and it could create a lot of confusion and anxiety if we tell him too early. Still, we need to keep warning him about not hitting or kicking my belly, so hopefully we'll tell him, keep it light, and just discuss it only when we have to, for now.

Anyway, I'm not looking forward to getting into feeling not-so-great, but I also know it's a sign that things are progressing as they should. I need energy at least for the next couple days to get through this vacation! It's been great, but boy, am I tired! Worth it, but tired! Talk to you soon!

Love,

Mommy

Letters to Baby #3 - July 5, 2012

Dear baby-to-be,

Today I got the results of my blood test.  They said my level was 1234, which is apparently a good level.  Of course, they won't know for sure how good until I get bloodwork done a couple more times, to make sure the level is going up at the rate they'd expect.  Unfortunately, I was stuck at work today when they wanted me to go in, so I'm going in the morning.   Then they wanted me to go on Saturday, but we're going to be out of town (family wedding, followed by a mini-vacation), so I won't be able to go until next Thursday!  Not ideal, but it's going to have to do.

I'm still not feeling any major effects of being pregnant, other than a slight tendency to be tired at random times, as well as some minor belly issues, which may be coincidence.  I noticed last week that random things were causing me to feel like I was pulling muscles in my stomach.  I swear I remember that from last time around, too, but it's been over four years so I could be wrong.  Today I felt like my stomach was bigger, though that's probably just a fat thing and not a pregnancy thing.  I haven't been working out as much lately because I've been busy and the weather's too nice to be in a gym, but I've also been a little nervous about running or working out too hard, because I don't know how much I should be limiting myself.  I wasn't in as good of shape last time around—or at least, I wasn't as conditioned to run—but I remember reading that if your body was used to it pre-pregnancy, you can probably continue it for a while.  But I also know I should try to keep my heart rate low-ish, so I'm not sure where the happy medium is.  I want to stay in good shape, though, not only so I look good, but also because it makes me feel good and I want to stay in the best shape possible leading up to delivery.  I know how hard it is and the stronger I am, the better.

I'm still very nervous, but part of me is so excited and dying to tell people.  Since so much of this journey has been out in the open, part of me feels like I might as well tell people.  But the fear of miscarriage is real, and the more people I'd have to tell, the worse it would be.  Even still, we're seeing some family this weekend that we won't see in person for a while, so part of me wants to at least share it with them.  We'll see.  Daddy's not convinced.

Anyway, so far so good.  We have a long way to go and the waiting between each blood test is going to be tough.  I was so nervous waiting to get the results today, and it will probably only get harder.  But the good news will be even better when it comes, and I hope you're in there and you're in it for the long haul.  Until next time...

Love,
Mommy

Letters to Baby #2 - July 2, 2012

Dear baby-to-be,

So, it's been a couple weeks since I last wrote.  It's been a busy couple weeks, with your brother's birthday, Mommy and Daddy's anniversary, and Bacie & Dziadziu's 40th anniversary party, among other things.  But it's been a couple weeks of waiting patiently as well, to see if you're in there or not.  And when the two-week wait was over, it turned out that we STILL didn't know.  I took a pregnancy test, and it came out a faint positive.  BUT...one of the side effects of the HCG shot that I got is that sometimes it sticks around for a bit and can give you a false positive.  I had waited until the end of the recommended window, but from all I read online, there's still a chance that it could be hanging around. 

So, we had a busy weekend to attend to, and I decided I'd wait until this morning to try again.  Well, it was a faint positive again this time, though a little stronger than before.  The good news is that it probably means it wasn't just the HCG, as I think it really should have faded to nothing by now, rather than getting stronger.  However, the bad news is that the faint line could mean that the pregnancy-induced HCG level isn't very high, which could mean that it wouldn't be a viable pregnancy and you're not actually in there yet after all.  So, now I'm going in for bloodwork in the morning that should give some conclusive answers.  Of course, there's a holiday the next day, which means we'll have to wait an extra day, but at least we'll know.  I've heard about people who have struggled with infertility getting these tests repeatedly, because if they become pregnant their levels need to be watched closely.  I never really thought I would be one of those people, but most likely, here we are. 

After all we've been through this time around, I thought the second I saw that second line on the test, I'd be ecstatic.  Turns out that the excited but anxious fear I experienced last time wasn't a fluke.  Apparently you can never really get comfortable with the concept of carrying a tiny baby in your body, because there's always something to terrify you.  It doesn't mean you're not already loved--but on the contrary, the love is so immediate and so strong that the thought of anything going wrong just scares me to death.  While I'm pretty sure that at some point you WILL be a reality, the thought that whoever might be in there isn't you, after all, is sad.  I thought about why I wouldn't be writing this letter to them, just in case, but I decided that since you're the one I'm going to have the pleasure of knowing down the road, it's probably better to put my energy into telling you the story of you.  If you're not in there yet, we'll meet whoever is there someday in heaven...which is awesome.  But for now I think it's better to think of you as an inevitability, rather than trying to talk to someone that I might never have the chance to know, and starting over again after that.  Just seems easier to believe that you're coming eventually and you're destined to be my child, whenever you happen to appear.  That's all very deep, but hey, I'm new at this whole writing to my as-yet-unconfirmed child, so I guess there really are no rules, you know?

I'm doing my best to keep everything in perspective.  I've said before that this time around it feels a bit more like a thrill ride.  I know that parenthood is full of ups and downs, and while I'm grateful we haven't had any major downs yet, I know that it's just a part of the ride.  The downs make you appreciate the ups.  You always learn a little something from every experience, so no matter how sad an experience might be, I know there's a reason down the road for why that experience happened.  So, even if this doesn't work out as planned, I know there's a reason--and in this case it may just be that, like I said above, you're destined to be my child.  We're probably only having two, so if this one doesn't stick, I'll assume it was because this was a necessary step to get to you.  And if it is you in there, I already can't wait to meet you...but invite you to take all the time you need getting fully cooked!  If this pregnancy is anything like my last one, I really don't mind being pregnant, and if this is my last one, I'd like to enjoy it fully.  It'll take a lot of time to adjust to the concept of two kids, so just take your time and if you can, take it easy on Mommy.  Even if you're not in my arms yet, taking care of you can be pretty hard work.  I'm not quite sure how four years of sleep deprivation and the exhaustion of pregnancy will mix, so I'm bracing myself for a bumpy ride.  I guess when that exhaustion and nausea start kicking in, it'll be good news-bad news.  Good news is that it's really happening and the hormones are haywire as they should be, and the bad news is that I will be useless for at least a month or two.  Or who knows?  Maybe this will be totally different than before and I'll feel great.  Ha! 

I'll probably spend a good chunk of time this pregnancy comparing to last time.  I promise, I'll try not to compare you to your brother too much once you actually arrive, but I'm afraid it might be impossible to avoid since he's all I know!  Seeing him become such a little person has really been a big driver in wanting to have another baby.  I mean, I always wanted to have two, but until he got old enough for us to start seeing his little brain work and experience what came out of it, I didn't have full understanding of how amazing it is to see a helpless baby become a real person who you want to hang out with.  Each stage has its miracles and discoveries, I guess, and the older Jacob gets, the more we see and the more amazing it is.  It's also more insight into how far we've come and how quickly time goes, so we need to embrace each stage as much as we can before it's gone.  Anyway, I hope he's a good big brother.  He's not always the gentlest, but we'll work on that before you get here.  Sorry to say you may experience some of that before you arrive, simply because he's got a tendency to kick me in the stomach when we're hanging out in bed or playing in the pool.  I'm going to do everything I can to break him of that habit ASAP! 

Anyway, there are all sorts of emotions flying through my brain these days, and I'll be very interested to see what's happening when my results come back.  We still won't know for sure if you're in there, but we should know for sure if someone's in there.  Which is when things would start to get interesting, even if we can't share it with too many people for a while. Should be quite a ride!

Love,
Mommy

Letters to Baby #1 - June 16, 2012

To our child-to-be:

Hi!  I'm keeping the faith that you are going to be an eventual reality, so I decided to start writing to you to tell you the story of how you came to be.  I wrote about your brother's story for most of my pregnancy, but I decided that I wanted to document everything this time around because the time leading up to that point is such a special time itself.  It brings with it so many emotions and so much excitement (not to mention a lot of worry), and I thought this would be a good way to remember it.  I blog about our family on the internet (don't worry, you'll learn about that soon enough) and someday this will hopefully make it to the blog to share this part of the story.  But right now I'm not ready to share this with the world yet.  Just you.

Two days ago, I went to the doctor.  A couple weeks ago I went to the same doctor and she suggested that I take some medicine to make my body work a little better.  Part of mama's baby making machine isn't working so well, and the medicine's job was to get things working again.  My trip back to the doctor two days ago made sure that the medicine had worked, and then they gave me a shot to make sure that things kept working correctly.  Daddy and I did what we had to do to try to make you (and we might try again, just to be safe), and now we just have to wait.  In a couple weeks we'll know if it worked or not.  If it did, we'll hope and pray that everything goes well and you grow perfectly for the next nine months.  If not, we'll try this again next month and hope that will be what it takes to bring you into our lives. 

Some people don't have trouble having a baby.  Some people have babies without even trying.  Please keep that fact in mind when you're older and you start thinking you're ready to be grown up.  Chances are, it could happen easier than you think, when you least want it to.  But once you're married and ready to have a family, I hope it's easy for you and your spouse.  I never thought I'd have a problem with it, but it turns out that I did.  I had issues when we had your brother, too, but we got very lucky and didn't even know he was on his way until Mommy started feeling not-so-great, which sometimes happens when you're pregnant.  Mommy's not looking forward to that part of your journey here, but I'll deal with it if it means you get here happy and healthy.

Anyway, having to get help from doctors this time around wasn't a big surprise, but I was hoping you'd just surprise us like your brother did.  After a year of trying, it didn't happen, so that's why we're getting help.  There's nothing wrong with that, and in fact, it only proves how much we want you to come into our lives.  We've been waiting a long time for you, and now there's a chance you're already in Mommy's belly, just a tiny cluster of cells.  Most likely you're not there yet, but you never know.  I was a little tired today!  I'll be driving myself nuts like that for the next couple weeks, no doubt.  This whole process is a little mind-boggling, because having a baby is such a big deal, and just thinking about it takes me through all sorts of emotions—joy, fear, excitement, exhaustion, confusion—and in the end it's all worth it.  Don't worry if I seem scared out of my mind during this process—it's normal and it's not a reflection of my love for you.  If anything, it just shows how much I love you (or the thought of you, at this point), because the fear of losing you is heartbreaking, while the excitement about welcoming you is one of the highest highs.  That's how love goes.  Consider that life lesson #1.  Love is one big roller coaster.

There are a lot of things that scare me about having another baby and being a mommy to two kids.  But I can't wait to love another little person as much as I love your brother, and I think it will be amazing to see him as a big brother to you.  I hope you think he's the coolest kid ever, and he thinks the same thing about you.  I'll tell you more about that later, but for now, just know that we hope you decide to show up in Mommy's belly sooner rather than later.  It's ok if you wait another month or two, but I hope you don't mind that I'm wanting to talk to you already, just in case you're there already.  Until next time...

Love,
Mommy

Speaking of the First Day of School...

Because Jacob moved into his Pre-K 4 room months ago, we really didn't have a "first day of school" this year.  Sure, I could have taken a picture of him on the first "official" day of him being in that room, but he'd been visiting so much already and I always dropped him off in that room anyway because he eats breakfast there, so there wasn't much of a transition.  And who takes a first day of school picture in June anyway?  So, this morning, on the first official day of school in our district, we took this picture:

Like his shirt?

Yep, you got it.  That crazy and adorable four year old child is going to be a big brother! 

I'm sure my relative silence on the topic has been a tip-off, but indeed, I'm pregnant and we'll be welcoming baby #2 somewhere around March 7th, give or take a week or two.  Since I was 10 days early last time, I can't help but wonder if we'll end up with a February baby instead!  So much for enjoying the weather during maternity leave this time around, but when you need a little assistance to make things happen, you take what you can get!

We did get minimal help from the fertility folks this time around, but it worked like a charm on the first try.  That was in mid-June, and a couple weeks later we got a very faint positive pregnancy test.  I was concerned it might be the effects of the hormone I was injected with, as that sometimes lingers and can cause a false positive, but the next test I took a couple days later was a little less faint.  Bloodwork confirmed it, and by early July I was starting to feel the effects...and I have been ever since.  We're now nearly 14 weeks along, and I am still feeling pretty crappy most of the time.  Last time the nausea ended around 11 weeks when we went on our trip to Florida, and this time it stopped being constant around 12 weeks but still pops up from time to time (like, usually at least once a day, or all day when I'm extra tired).  No puking, thankfully, but the constant crappy feeling isn't a picnic either.  In the past couple weeks it's been a lot of tiredness and just a general feeling of "blah".  Where last time I was a bottomless pit when it came to food, this time I get full quicker and stay full if I eat too much.  Otherwise I'm hungry every couple hours and feel terrible if I don't eat soon enough.  It's a delicate balance, though somehow despite a constant schedule of eating I haven't really gained any weight yet.  It's probably due to the loss of muscle from less frequent, less intense workouts, but oh well.

I'm just finding everything a lot harder this time around, but I suppose that could be for a lot of reasons.  I'm four years older, I have an active and defiant little boy running around, and I think this time my body just isn't reacting the same.  The "blahs" have lasted a lot longer--tiredness I can manage, but feeling crappy just impacts everything--and I've already been having some general discomfort from what I think is round ligament pain.  It seems way too soon for that.

I'm not officially showing yet, but I can't suck in my stomach anymore and it's definitely pouching out a bit.  I'm doing my darnedest to dress around it, but it's not easy.  Now that the news is out I guess I shouldn't worry as much about it, but I still want to dress nicely and look respectable until I can officially pull out the maternity stuff, which is still mostly huge.

I'm sure I'll have a lot more to share in the coming days, weeks, and months about all that's been happening in these last couple months, but the good news is that I've been keeping a little "diary" on the side.  I wanted to document the early stages, and particularly once we really got into the process and I found it frustrating to not have a record of how I was feeling early on in my last pregnancy.  Since I didn't start blogging until just around this same time last time, I don't have a vivid description of how things progressed in those early weeks.  I would have liked the reference!  So, over the next couple weeks or so, I'll be posting my account of nearly three months of this process, in the form of letters to the baby.  It should give you the bulk of the back story and give you insight into the first couple months that pregnant women are usually pretty quiet about.

I had wanted to share the news sooner but really wanted to get Jacob a shirt like the one above to do it, and I had zero luck finding one.  I finally had to settle on making one myself with iron-on transfers.  That one looks pretty good in the picture, but geez, the real thing was a bit of a challenge and I'll be shocked if it makes it through a washing or two.  I even did a tiny bit of touch-up with a Sharpie.  Smooth.  The whole t-shirt process took a bit (from finding the time to look, to realizing I couldn't find one, to not liking the one ready-made transfer out there, to having to pick out the shirt and letters, to finally making it far too late last night), and I figured there was no harm in waiting anyway, so here we are.  Jacob wore it to daycare today, too, so I'm sure that made for an interesting day.  We just told him the news Monday night.  He seemed excited though a little unsure and possibly unimpressed by the whole thing.  He did seem a bit intrigued knowing that there's a baby in Mommy's belly right now, but he got over it pretty quickly.  We've been trying to hype it up (mostly the cool big brother aspects), but still keep things pretty even-keel since nothing's happening for about six months.  I think it'll be more real when my belly is huge, we know the sex (yep, October 17th is the big day), and we start feeling kicks.  The jury's out on how he'll respond to big brotherhood, but we've got some time to prepare. 

We're obviously very excited, though the whole experience is very different this time around, between feeling crappier longer and having Jacob to keep us busy.  We have a lot of projects to accomplish in the next six months, though different ones than last time.  Instead of starting from scratch, we have a ton of baby stuff to sort through and find new places for.  We have to get Jacob moved over to a big boy room, and figure out what the loss of our guest room means for future visitor accommodations.  If it's a boy I have a TON of clothes to sort through and reorganize...and if not, I'll still sort through the baby stuff and set aside the gender-neutral clothes before running out to every store in the mall and snapping up the cutest girl stuff ever (just kidding...sort of).  If it's a boy we may also need to bite the bullet and replace the purple in the baby's room.  It matched the baby stuff perfectly, so we've passed it off as a Knighthawk color until now, but a new baby boy probably deserves better since we have a little more lead time to change it than we did when we moved in.  This baby will also be born in the middle of the lacrosse season, so that's going to be a challenge itself.  Not only will Craig be around less and going on roadtrips, but it's going to break my heart when I can't take Jacob to games later on in the season.  He loves it so much, but obviously we're not going to be going a loud, germ-filled arena late at night with a tiny baby. 

Sorry, this random stream of thoughts will probably come fast and furious the next few months.  Bear with me.  I need to vent/ponder it somewhere, so it usually ends up here.  Anyway...we're excited and I'm glad to be finally sharing our big news with you!  Stay tuned...things are about to get interesting :)

So much for that theory...

I can't find the actual post, but I swear somewhere in the depths of this blog I wrote about how sending Jacob to daycare from the time he was seven weeks old would inevitably have an impact on how I viewed the first day of school.  The closest I can find is here, but I swear I speculated in detail at one point about how I'd react when I finally shipped him off to Kindergarten, given the fact that he's been spending the day at a "school" for nearly his entire life.  Of course, I can't find it right now.

I think I concluded that I wouldn't be as emotional as some parents because I'm just used to it.  We've been leaving him somewhere every morning for over four years now, and at least once a year (more when he was younger) we've adjusted to a new classroom and new teachers.  None of that stuff will be new to us.  And, most likely, he'll be busing back to daycare after school anyway, so I'd be picking him up at the same place I have for the last few years. 

Last year I got a little glimpse at the fact I had overestimated my emotional fortitude when watching the new kindergarten parents stand outside daycare as their kids got on the bus for the first time.  You could see how emotional they were, and while I don't remember my exact reaction (obviously it wasn't enough to blog about), I do remember thinking, "Oh, crap...that's going to be me in a couple years," and thanking my lucky stars that we still had two whole years before it was an issue.  But seeing the emotion coming from seasoned daycare parents tipped me off that maybe it wouldn't be as easy as I'd hoped. 

On the bright side, we are getting to skip out on the trauma of the first day of preschool.  Jacob got a new backpack over the weekend so it felt a little like a new school year this morning, but he skipped right into the same room he's been in for months.  I did mention previously that I am looking forward to having the new kindergartners out of his classroom, because I think the older kids are a bad influence and I'm looking forward to having him in the same room again as a few of his old friends who happen to be a couple months younger than him.  I was hoping that would happen as soon as today, but it turns out that our district doesn't actually start until Thursday, even though most districts around here start today or tomorrow. 

I'm not sure how I feel about the late start.  I think it's a little weird, but on the bright side, next year I'll have more time to adjust to the "first day of school" concept before we actually have to do it ourselves.  I'll spend days watching other parents' pictures on Facebook and hearing all their stories before I'll actually have to do it myself.  Perhaps the school supplies elsewhere in the area will be replenished by the time we'd need a last minute item, or that extra day will give me the chance to ensure that we are perfectly, completely prepared.  Or it will give me another day to obsess and completely lose my mind over sending my little boy out into the world.

Because, as it turns out, kindergarten is going to be a whole new ballgame.  When I didn't see buses around town this morning, I decided to look at the district website to see when they started.  While I was there, I noticed that the school around the corner from us is actually only for grades 3-5.  For some reason I never noticed that before (even though I had suspected there was a chance that was the case and feel like I even looked for that before).  So that sent me on a hunt for which school he'd actually go to if we go the public route, and it turns out it's the one I'd hoped it would be.  It's down the road from daycare, actually, so it turns out his end-of-day bus ride could be rather short depending on the route.  Good to know.  Of course, it's a whole other scenario if he goes to the local Christian school, which is a considerably farther drive.

While I was on the district site, just for kicks, I looked at the lunch menu.  And for some reason, that was what sent me into a sudden panic about kindergarten.  I noticed that there were two options each day.  The thought of sending Jacob to school having to pick his own lunch, let alone be responsible for the money to pay for it, blew my mind.  Then when I started to think of him having to carry a tray from the lunch line to his table, that pretty much sent me over the edge.  I mean, right now there's one option at daycare, someone serves it to him at the table, and someone keeps an eye on what he does or doesn't eat.  The thought of him managing his lunch by himself a year from now doesn't even seem possible.  Perhaps there's help, but who knows?  I don't even have anything to compare it to, because I had half-day Kindergarten when I was a kid and came home for lunch every day.  When I got older, my mom usually made my lunch, but I had the option to buy lunch if I liked that day's selection.  Taco day was my favorite, and I remember the lunch calendars coming home with the monthly newsletter and being tacked right up in our kitchen.  To be honest I have no idea if I'd ever risk having Jacob buy his lunch early on, so most likely I'll be packing it out of pure fear.  Perhaps we'll try buying on pizza day or something as a test.  I know this is getting way ahead of ourselves, but there was just something about the concept of school lunch that made me realize I'll be sending my little boy out into the big (bad?) world all by himself, with very little control on my end.  Yikes.

I think the idea of a smaller Christian school scares me less because that was the environment I grew up in, but until we do open houses and all that stuff, I won't know what we're most comfortable with.  We have a year to come to a decision and prepare ourselves, but I know it's going to go far more quickly than we can imagine.  I'll definitely feel a little nervousness on Thursday when all those parents are outside daycare waiting for the buses again, and I'll be in complete disbelief that that'll be us in another year.  Doesn't seem possible.

Thoughts on the End of Summer

Normally I'm fighting against the end of summer with every fiber of my being.  And don't get me wrong--the second the weather turns I'm going to be regretting every single second where I didn't suck every drop of life out of this summer.  But it was a weird summer, a very busy one, and I'm not entirely upset about its end.  I'm sure that as the weeks go on, I'm going to start remembering a long list of activities I wanted to do this summer that we never got to do, and I'll probably be sad that we missed our chance.  But at the same time, the arrival of fall brings a deep exhale.  The weather will start to cool, which will be a welcome relief from the high 80s to mid-90s we had for a good portion of the summer.  Craig's summer lacrosse season is over and he'll be home on weekends most of the time from now until at least late fall when training camp starts.  Our long list of weekend activities and reasons to travel to Buffalo nearly every weekend will slow, although most weekends this month do seem to have potential activities--we're going to the Bills' home opener, we have the potential for at least one baseball-related trip, and I'm trying to schedule a long-overdue weekend to spend with my oldest friend. 

Even this weekend had its share of activities.  My birthday was Friday.  I took off work to have a day for myself.  I hung out around the house in the morning and spent the afternoon shopping.  We went out to dinner and did a little more shopping afterward.  Saturday we mostly just relaxed.  Sunday we were off to Buffalo for Craig's dad's birthday, and Jacob spent the afternoon swimming and the evening playing baseball.  I insisted that we come home that night because I wanted to wake up in my own bed this morning and have a whole day here to rest up for jumping back into the work week.  I had a productive morning--a couple loads of laundry, vacuuming the main floor of the house, cleaning the whole bathroom, and trying on a bunch of Jacob's clothes to see what still fit him or what new stuff might be ready to enter the rotation.

It felt great to get some long-overdue tasks done--including finally putting away Jacob's potty.  I had been meaning to do that for weeks but just never got around to wiping it down and putting it away.  He still used it 99% of the time at home, even though he's totally fine with regular toilets everywhere else.  I'm tired of dumping it and rinsing it out, and he seemed to linger on the potty much longer than when he used a regular toilet, so that bit of procrastination is hopefully done now.  I am not sorry to see that thing go.  It's been living in our bathroom since around his second birthday, and it's nice to reclaim that floor space.  I think he feels like an extra big boy without it, so that's nice, too. 

My parents come into town for the afternoon.  They did some geocaching along the way, then spent the afternoon hanging out in and around the pool with Jacob.  We had a lovely dinner with them, then headed out to utilize a buy-one-get-one-free Blizzard coupon at our new Dairy Queen after my parents left.  I had plenty of chances to relax this weekend, but I also did a lot and I am beat!  I should just go to bed but I have some laundry to fold. 

Still, the end of the summer has come and we only went to a few baseball games, only went mini-golfing once, still didn't get to an amusement park, didn't go to our local spray park (though Jacob went with daycare), and we didn't spend as much time as we should in the pool.  I didn't hang out on my front porch, didn't ride my bike enough, and didn't spend quiet nights on our patio enjoying the sounds of nature.  One of my favorite things to do in past summers was go out for an evening swim.  That didn't happen this year, probably for fear of mosquitoes.  I didn't take Jacob to enough playgrounds or on enough wagon rides or big wheel rides.  I can't take all the blame for that, however--Jacob's pretty into his other sports and convincing him to do anything else is tough.  We didn't go to any festivals or lawn fetes.  We didn't have picnics or run through sprinklers.  We only spent one short spell at the beach, and didn't go on a "real" vacation.  We had a great few days with my family in Massachusetts, but the usual week in some interesting locale with lots of sightseeing stops just didn't happen.  We have Disney coming up in November, so it's not a major deal, but summer is unique and I always regret not using enough of my vacation days while the weather is nice.  I didn't take off a few days to spend at home, either, so our Goodwill donations are still not documented, our carpet is still not ordered, and our dishwasher and ceiling fan still need a repair person. 

But ahead are pumpkin patches and leaf piles, apple cider and Halloween, fall foliage and earth tone decor, crunchy apples and warm apple pie, a trip to Florida and Thanksgiving dinner(s).  The pressure to be outside doing something fun will reduce, and jeans and hoodie weather will return.  The worst part of fall is that it is followed by winter, but all of the stuff in between is pretty darn fun.  I'll regret what we didn't do this summer, but for once I'm excited for the months to come.  Stay tuned for full documentation of the fun...