Did you know that it's World Breastfeeding Week? I had never heard of it before, but I suppose I'm reading a lot more Mom blogs than I did a year ago. It's come up on a couple, and I figured I'd post on it today for lack of anything better to write about. Reading the other blogs got me thinking, so I might as well.
Ahhh, breastfeeding. I certainly had a love-hate relationship with it for a good portion of the 14 months that I did it. It was so hard in the beginning but was pretty easy by the end. I hated pumping every day at work, but loved the savings from not having to buy (much) formula. I hated the stress I sometimes put on myself when Jacob wasn't feeding well or I wasn't pumping enough, but I'm not sure it would have been much better with formula because I'm sure there are plenty of formula issues that I never even had to deal with (or not a lot, anyway). As much as the whole dairy sensitivity thing may have been an issue, I liked knowing that breastmilk was good for Jacob. I hated standing in the grocery store aisle staring down the formula options and wondering how a switch might impact Jacob's digestive system. I both loved and hated being Jacob's main source of nourishment. It was rewarding, but it was also exhausting. The bonding time was nice and whipping out a boob was so easy most of the time (like, at 3am), but there were times when all I wanted to do was sleep and Jacob was hungry. I'm also not sure I ever got truly comfortable with breastfeeding on the go. I mean, yes, I would do it at people's houses and anywhere where it was easy enough to get comfortable, but I never really mastered going out and finding strategic nursing places at the right times. As a result, sometimes breastfeeding felt limiting, because even if I could whip up a formula bottle when we were on the go, my boobs would fill up and I'd either have to feed or pump. I remember a number of close calls where my chest hurt to touch because I was late on my usual schedule. Moments like that sucked.
When Jacob was winding down, I really thought I would miss breastfeeding. And there were probably moments where I felt like something was missing once we were done, but I'm not sure I would have ever connected it to breastfeeding. Because once we were done, I really didn't miss it that much. I liked the freedom to eat and drink what I wanted, I liked not being a prisoner to my chest, I liked not lugging that pump to and from work and cleaning all of the parts each night. I liked opening the fridge and pouring Jacob a glass of milk. Perhaps I had earned the right to enjoy all of those things after 14 months of hard work. It's funny thinking about breastfeeding nowadays as I look at Jacob, because it's hard to believe that even a year ago he was small enough or still enough to nurse! He's such a big boy now compared to that sweet little baby!
But in the end I guess the whole experience was a positive. After about the 3-6 month point I was saying that I would absolutely do it again next time. And as long as baby #2 is willing, ready and able, I will. But over the past year I've developed a fear that I won't be as diligent about it. What if I like having my body to myself or hate pumping again or just can't be held hostage by my chest because I have two kids to deal with? It scares me that I won't want to do it as long and that baby #2 won't get the benefits that Jacob did. Everyone seems to get a little more lax with their second child, but this really isn't a spot where I'd want to ease up. There are so many good reasons to do it, and I don't want laziness or general convenience to get in the way of the benefits of a little hard work.
I've read numerous blog postings about breastfeeding in the past few months, and they always trigger a massive debate. For some reason few people are willing to admit it's a gray area. There isn't really one right way for everyone. Some women try and can't, some women don't care to try at all, some women think it should be the only way to feed your child (hi, Gisele Bundchen). I am definitely in the camp of "give it a good, solid try, and if after an honest effort it doesn't work, it's ok." I wanted to give up a lot of times early on, but I'm glad I stuck with it. I'm not sure a lot of other women would have. But I never had mastitis or more than one blocked duct, nor did Jacob have trouble latching on correctly. Had I encountered some of those issues, I'm not sure I would have made it. And it worries me for next time, for sure. Every woman and every experience is different. I'd hate to get my hopes up and assume that I'll have no problem next time, only to have a problem and be forced into formula early. It would certainly be a letdown. But I don't want guilt to drive me nuts, either. If it doesn't work and it's just making me crazy, it's probably not a good thing for any of us and maybe it's better to raise the white flag and move on. In the event that happens, let's hope I'm sane and logical enough at that point to realize it.
If all goes well, I do hope to do some things differently now that I've survived one round. Hopefully next time we'll have less baby stuff to buy and shelling out a few bucks for a good nursing cover won't be an issue. It was one thing whipping out a boob in my own living room before, but with Jacob running around, it may not be ideal. And depending on where I would sit to do it in our new living room, anyone venturing onto our porch might get an eyeful. Having a nice cover might make me a little more willing to do it more outside of the house, as well. I will also work on pumping more. I found scheduling pumping to be very awkward before (do it too soon after a feeding and you're empty, too close to a feeding and you won't have enough left for the baby), and I didn't start pumping until I needed practice right before I went back to work. Next time I'd like to start pumping right away and fill my freezer (which is now far larger) with milk so I don't have to start with formula right away when I go back to work and can't pump enough for a full day. It'll run out eventually, but it would be nice to have a good supply up and running right away. I still may not figure out the pumping schedule (hard enough when it feels like you're nursing 24/7 already), but I can try now that I'm more used to the experience as a whole. Oh, and pumping will enable me to do one more thing--have Craig get up for a night feeding once in a while after I go back to work. I haven't mentioned that to him yet--obviously since #2 hasn't even been conceived, nor are we trying yet, it's not exactly a prime topic--but I think it's only fair. I never did that the first time around, and have read about it more and more since. And yeah, kicking myself that I didn't think of it then. There's no reason I need to be the only one getting up each night when we both have busy schedules the next day, but I was a glutton for punishment and couldn't see any other solution back then. Now I know. Maternity leave is one thing--I would have the opportunity to possibly nap during the day, he wouldn't--so I would do it all then. But once I'm back to work, there's no reason I should torture myself. We could at least alternate, and I think that's fair. I also think I'll be a little more active while nursing, like sitting at the computer or even trying out a sling and walking around a bit. That scares me a little, but it's crossed my mind.
As a whole, breastfeeding wasn't the easiest experience. In fact, the first couple months were probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I'm hoping I don't wimp out next time around under the strain of having a new baby and a preschooler amidst all the pain and sleep deprivation that drove me nuts before. But sticking it out is worth it for so many reasons, and I hope I get the chance to enjoy it again next time.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
Another busy weekend...
These summer weekends (and weeks) keep slipping away, and here we are in August. I know this month is going to fly by, and all of a sudden it's going to be September and fall will be upon us again. Ugh. I like fall, but I don't like that it's the one thing standing between lovely summer weather and cold winter weather. Blah. September isn't a bad month, mind you, but it certainly sets the stage. So, we'll have to enjoy August while we can. We have a lot to pack into this month, that's for sure.
Saturday was a family reunion on my mom's side (#2 of 4 potential reunions this summer, in case you're counting--three on my side, one on Craig's), and we headed into N.T. (or actually, Wheatfield) for the day. Oh, before we left I spent an hour or so gingerly walking around our still-green pool, trying to vacuum up algae. Lovely. The picnic was a pretty low key one, as there aren't many local kids in the family and only two (Jacob and one other) were there. It was held at a park I hadn't been to in years, Fairmount Park, which hosted many a field day when I was in grade school. Once a year in early June we headed there as a school to compete against other Lutheran schools in track & field events--running races, sack races, long jump, ball throw, etc. I won all of one ribbon in all my years, a first place win in the sack race in fourth grade. That was some sort of miracle. As a result of my usual performance, the highlight of the day (besides being out of school in nice weather) was playing on the playground after lunch. Fairmount Park had a cool playground unlike any other. It was older and had some really unique equipment. The only one I can remember right now was a set of tricycles that had a center pivot point and were on a track of some sort. Not particularly exciting, but different and therefore cool. It was tough to get on the stuff you wanted to play on, though, since you were using the same playground as hundreds of other kids. As a result, one time when I was probably 12 or so, my cousin and I rode our bikes there so we could enjoy it ourselves. It was a long bike ride on a busy road with no sidewalks, so we got a bit of a talking-to when we got back. But it was worth it! :) The other thing of note about the playground is that it was set among a number of old graves. Yep, it was creepy then and is still creepy now. The graves are mostly from around 1900, and apparently the land was used as a cemetery. I have no idea how many unmarked graves there are around there, but the ones that do have markers are roped off. Most of the engraving on them is quite worn, but it's a sobering juxtaposition to have a cool playground set among graves, including one of a 15 day old baby whose 19-year-old mother died a day after childbirth. Interestingly, I ended up doing a geocache with my mom while we were there that used dates from the headstones to give you clues to the cache. I know it all sounds a little creepy, and it is, but I was looking forward to seeing the playground again now that I have a child who can play on it.
The playground has changed a bit, but there were still a handful of things that made it different than most playgrounds you come across these days. There were a few of the animals that you sit on and bounce, including a rabbit, snail, and squirrel, plus this cross between that and a see-saw--this one with horses on each end. Jacob liked bouncing!
There was also a cool merry-go-round with four horses that spun on human power, which Jacob couldn't get enough of. He kept trying to switch horses (often while it was still moving--ugh) and liked getting dizzy as it spun!
In the background of the picture above, you can see a blue dinosaur that was made for climbing, and a strange wooden contraption that was actually a standing teeter totter. Jacob and I went on it with us on one side and my dad on the other. My dad had to move around the bar that you're supposed to hold on to in order to shift the weight enough for us to move up and down, (ahhh, physics), but we had a lot of fun once we got going. Jacob really enjoyed it! (Pardon the misplaced hair...must have flopped funny as we dropped one time! Too bad, because this was almost a perfect picture!)
We had a pretty fun day despite the weather being a bit cool and cloudy, and despite Jacob only napping for a half hour on the way there and not wanting to eat much of substance or sit still for more than a couple minutes. He was constantly running off to play lacrosse (there were little lacrosse-sized soccer nets not far away), baseball (my parents brought a whiffle bat and ball), or visit the playground for the hundredth time. It was tiring, particularly considering I had to drive both ways and am fighting off allergies and a cough from the same virus Jacob has had for the last week. But we ate pretty well and had a nice time visiting with family, particularly my Aunt Sue and cousin Kristi who had flown in from Wisconsin.
Saturday was a family reunion on my mom's side (#2 of 4 potential reunions this summer, in case you're counting--three on my side, one on Craig's), and we headed into N.T. (or actually, Wheatfield) for the day. Oh, before we left I spent an hour or so gingerly walking around our still-green pool, trying to vacuum up algae. Lovely. The picnic was a pretty low key one, as there aren't many local kids in the family and only two (Jacob and one other) were there. It was held at a park I hadn't been to in years, Fairmount Park, which hosted many a field day when I was in grade school. Once a year in early June we headed there as a school to compete against other Lutheran schools in track & field events--running races, sack races, long jump, ball throw, etc. I won all of one ribbon in all my years, a first place win in the sack race in fourth grade. That was some sort of miracle. As a result of my usual performance, the highlight of the day (besides being out of school in nice weather) was playing on the playground after lunch. Fairmount Park had a cool playground unlike any other. It was older and had some really unique equipment. The only one I can remember right now was a set of tricycles that had a center pivot point and were on a track of some sort. Not particularly exciting, but different and therefore cool. It was tough to get on the stuff you wanted to play on, though, since you were using the same playground as hundreds of other kids. As a result, one time when I was probably 12 or so, my cousin and I rode our bikes there so we could enjoy it ourselves. It was a long bike ride on a busy road with no sidewalks, so we got a bit of a talking-to when we got back. But it was worth it! :) The other thing of note about the playground is that it was set among a number of old graves. Yep, it was creepy then and is still creepy now. The graves are mostly from around 1900, and apparently the land was used as a cemetery. I have no idea how many unmarked graves there are around there, but the ones that do have markers are roped off. Most of the engraving on them is quite worn, but it's a sobering juxtaposition to have a cool playground set among graves, including one of a 15 day old baby whose 19-year-old mother died a day after childbirth. Interestingly, I ended up doing a geocache with my mom while we were there that used dates from the headstones to give you clues to the cache. I know it all sounds a little creepy, and it is, but I was looking forward to seeing the playground again now that I have a child who can play on it.
The playground has changed a bit, but there were still a handful of things that made it different than most playgrounds you come across these days. There were a few of the animals that you sit on and bounce, including a rabbit, snail, and squirrel, plus this cross between that and a see-saw--this one with horses on each end. Jacob liked bouncing!
There was also a cool merry-go-round with four horses that spun on human power, which Jacob couldn't get enough of. He kept trying to switch horses (often while it was still moving--ugh) and liked getting dizzy as it spun!
In the background of the picture above, you can see a blue dinosaur that was made for climbing, and a strange wooden contraption that was actually a standing teeter totter. Jacob and I went on it with us on one side and my dad on the other. My dad had to move around the bar that you're supposed to hold on to in order to shift the weight enough for us to move up and down, (ahhh, physics), but we had a lot of fun once we got going. Jacob really enjoyed it! (Pardon the misplaced hair...must have flopped funny as we dropped one time! Too bad, because this was almost a perfect picture!)
We had a pretty fun day despite the weather being a bit cool and cloudy, and despite Jacob only napping for a half hour on the way there and not wanting to eat much of substance or sit still for more than a couple minutes. He was constantly running off to play lacrosse (there were little lacrosse-sized soccer nets not far away), baseball (my parents brought a whiffle bat and ball), or visit the playground for the hundredth time. It was tiring, particularly considering I had to drive both ways and am fighting off allergies and a cough from the same virus Jacob has had for the last week. But we ate pretty well and had a nice time visiting with family, particularly my Aunt Sue and cousin Kristi who had flown in from Wisconsin. Sunday we had a heck of a time with Jacob at church for the first time in a while. We started the service in church, then moved to the separate family room in the back of the church. Jacob wouldn't sit still, wouldn't be quiet, and eventually was screaming so much that Craig had to take him out of the family area into the lobby. No idea why, either, since he'd had a good night's sleep and we actually made it to the early service which is generally better for his schedule. So frustrating. After church we got through lunch and nap, and got Jacob up in time to head off to a celebrity hockey game being held as a fundraiser for Craig Charron's fight against stomach cancer. It was truly amazing to see thousands of people streaming in, to look on the ice and see such an awesome group of players, and feel the love and support in that place. There were bonafide NHLers there, former teammates, Sabres and Amerks alumni, and even some local guys and other minor leaguers that never played with Sharky but wanted to help out. There were even some non-playing celebrities, including Sharky's uncle, Jim Craig (yep, the goalie from the Miracle on Ice team) and Mike Eruzione (the captain of the Miracle on Ice team and game winning goal scorer in the famous game vs. the Soviets), and Rick Martin, my mom's favorite Buffalo Sabre back in the days when my parents had season tickets. Obviously Jacob didn't understand the significance of the guys on the ice, but he loved seeing hockey again. He pretty much wanted to get right down and play ("Big stick now, Daddy!") and was apparently fascinated by the crate of pucks in the locker room when Craig took him in there ("I shoot black pucks!"). As common as its become to be in the presence of pro hockey players, I'll admit it was a thrill to be in the hallway as Jim Craig and Mike Eruzione walked through. They're more than just hockey players--they made history!
Following the game there was a reception for everyone involved, and we had originally set up Lori to babysit Jacob. Well, she got sick during the afternoon, so she was out. As a last effort to give us both the chance to go and catch up with old friends, I put out a request via my Facebook status. Any by some miracle, we found someone! Friends of ours that are Knighthawks superfans and have a nearly 4 year old son offered to help us out. She met me at home and off I went to meet Craig at the restaurant. Jacob was apparently fine until bedtime, but freaked out for quite a while once she tried to put him in bed. In the end, she ended up leaving him in his hockey shirt that he wore to the game and let him sleep with two of his hockey sticks. Not sure if it was our absence, her presence, or his quirkiness (or all of the above) that caused the meltdown, but about two minutes after she texted me asking for suggestions, he dropped off without a sound. Still, I felt bad about putting her (and him) through that.
However, we had a fabulous time out. We caught up with some former Amerks, chatted with some former work associates, and even had a nice conversation with Mike Eruzione! Craig also got a puck signed later on. Not gonna lie, it was all pretty cool. It's still too bad that all this fun we've been having has been at events to raise money for our friend who has a seriously bad form of cancer, but right now his body is responding well to treatment and it's been amazing to see all the support he's getting and (re)connect with members of the hockey community. Oh, and did I mention that they had this amazing made-to-order pasta station with lots of veggies and three kinds of sauces? Mmmm...that just topped it all off.
So, yet another busy weekend. This coming weekend we'll be staying at home and welcoming my parents into town for a visit to the Park Ave. Festival here in Rochester. It's a fun and slightly eclectic festival in one of the trendier areas of town, with crafters, food, and all sorts of other vendors. Great people watching! We went with my parents and a not-even-two-month-old Jacob two years ago, and couldn't go last year because we spent that weekend in Buffalo, I believe when John, Kristin & Kate were in town. It should be fun to go again this year. I keep hoping our pool will be back to normal by then, but I'm pretty much losing hope that it'll ever be normal again. No amount of chemicals seem to do the trick. Summer is short enough around here without being banned from our pool for a few weeks like this. It's going to be another hot week and swimming sounds lovely. Perhaps sitting on the patio will have to do...
Friday, July 30, 2010
Vacation?
Yesterday when I was writing up my post I was looking back in the archives to reference a couple things I blogged about last year. I couldn't help but smile a bit reading back on our summer vacation last year. It was just a "staycation", other than our short trips to Buffalo and Pittsburgh. We crammed a lot into that week, from visits to the Corning Museum of Glass and Bills' training camp, to time with family and lots of wagon rides. We had a great time in Pittsburgh and did our best to make the most of the time off of work that we could spend together as a family.
It's almost that time of year again, and I have yet to lock in my vacation days. Craig's calf injury sort of put things on hold, since we were hoping our vacation time would include another trip to Pittsburgh for another ball game and a couple activities we missed out on last year. However, with him unable to walk comfortably, it didn't really make sense to do the full 5+ hour drive to Pittsburgh when we would be limited in our activities. Time is ticking down, though, and we both need a break. We're determined to try to get to Pittsburgh in a few weeks for a cool giveaway at the Pirates game, and now that Craig's going to therapy for his calf, hopefully he'll be a bit more mobile by then. No guarantees, but I think we can somehow make it work, even if it means a lot of breaks on benches or leaving Craig in one spot while Jacob and I explore a little more deeply. He'll have his Blackberry to keep him company, if nothing else. Call me insensitive, but I refuse to watch an entire summer go by without having a little adventure here and there. I like going places and seeing new things and finding cool photo ops. It's nice to get a little break from the day-to-day busyness and have the choice to rest or spice things up with a little trip or some other unusual outing.
Last year as we were gearing up for vacation, I had a long list of "to dos" prepared for the week. I looked at that week as our one shot to give Jacob the full summer experience. When I was a kid I had plenty of opportunities to do fun things, mostly because my mom stayed home until I was eight (and part time after that), and beyond that I had an active group of family members (namely two aunts, an uncle and a grandmother) that liked to go out and do things, be it visiting a place like Artpark (cool spot in Lewiston, NY that always had crafty things going on), hitting up a summer food/ice cream joint, or just going out shopping. Doing that stuff during the summer really seemed special because it was a rarity during the school year. As a very little kid, I spent a lot of time outside on the swing set or in the sandbox or kiddie pool, and I feel like Jacob's time doing those things is so limited. He gets a completely different experience at daycare, of course, and it has its own merits, I'm sure, but having a week to spend with Mommy and Daddy doing different things has to be special. But the thing is, this year I'm feeling a little stumped. Pittsburgh could take up 2-3 days, but beyond that, I'm not sure what we should be doing.
The one thing I do have on the list at the moment is mini golf. Jacob plays hockey much like he would putt, and for some reason he's been mentioning golf a bit lately. He sees Craig's clubs in the garage and knows what golf is, and we've actually been wanting to take him mini-golfing for a while. However, as a life-long serious mini-golfer (seriously--I hate when people cheat or screw around...chalk it up to being the child of golfers who took a trip to Putt-Putt more seriously than most), the last thing I want to do is be one of "those people" that lets their too-young child terrorize the course. That means that busy Fridays and weekends are out. So, when we're off during the day, I think we'll have a better shot at a less busy course. There's one a few minutes from our house, and there's one classic one that I'd love to try that could potentially be less busy (but I'm not sure--good excuse to try it, though). It could either be really fun(ny) or really frustrating, but I think Jacob will enjoy it either way.
But beyond that, I'm just not sure. We could hit up Bills training camp again, go to the zoo (or even the Buffalo Zoo), swim in our pool (assuming it's ever not green again), make a return visit to the spray park, or make our first visit to Chuck E. Cheese. I'd like to hit up Seabreeze, our local amusement park, but I think it will be better next year when Jacob is taller and can ride more rides. He's got about 2-4 inches to go before he's tall enough to ride more of the kiddie rides. If Craig has his way, he'll want to go to the drive-in one night. As much as I love the one drive-in we visit periodically, it's a long haul and I'm not sure I want to do the drive-in thing with Jacob again for a while. Part of me thinks we should do a "date day" with just Craig and me, but again, I'm not feeling particularly drawn to any specific activities to make it a priority (though after last year's vacation, I swore we'd have to do it this year). I'm sure there are things to do, but right now I'm just sort of stumped. Maybe finally head to the public market? Seek out the best playgrounds in town? Finally let Jacob try bounce houses and inflatable slides at one of those places? Finally get my bike back in riding shape and ride by myself? I suppose the possibilities are endless and I'll just have to throw a bunch against the wall and see what sticks. Vacation can't be a bad thing, no matter what!
In other news, in light of Jacob's recent bumps and bruises, I'm finding myself hesitating as I stare at the permission slip from daycare asking if Jacob can use the "moon bounce" at this carnival next Friday. It's a carnival that's open to the public, I think put on by the church whose building the daycare uses. Daycare is visiting it, and for $3 Jacob can have fun in the moon bounce. The money isn't really an issue as it's all for a good cause. I'd like Jacob to be able to do something fun with his friends, but after the playground incident on Tuesday and my realization that maybe he's just extra clumsy, I'm just not sure what to do. Do I give in and risk another incident? Or do I hold off since I won't be there to supervise and I know he's accident-prone? Hmmm. I did find out this morning that Jacob is officially "moving up" at daycare on Monday. He'll finally, officially be in the two-year-old room. He'll be reunited with some old friends and lose out on a few current ones (for a while--I assume some will move up soon, if not at the same time), though the two rooms tend to do a lot together so he'll still see everyone. The big change is that the two-year-olds go on field trips. That will be cool, though scary for me since I won't always be there to keep an eye on him. Hard to believe he'll be in his fifth level of daycare since he started. Crazy. My little boy is growing up!
It's almost that time of year again, and I have yet to lock in my vacation days. Craig's calf injury sort of put things on hold, since we were hoping our vacation time would include another trip to Pittsburgh for another ball game and a couple activities we missed out on last year. However, with him unable to walk comfortably, it didn't really make sense to do the full 5+ hour drive to Pittsburgh when we would be limited in our activities. Time is ticking down, though, and we both need a break. We're determined to try to get to Pittsburgh in a few weeks for a cool giveaway at the Pirates game, and now that Craig's going to therapy for his calf, hopefully he'll be a bit more mobile by then. No guarantees, but I think we can somehow make it work, even if it means a lot of breaks on benches or leaving Craig in one spot while Jacob and I explore a little more deeply. He'll have his Blackberry to keep him company, if nothing else. Call me insensitive, but I refuse to watch an entire summer go by without having a little adventure here and there. I like going places and seeing new things and finding cool photo ops. It's nice to get a little break from the day-to-day busyness and have the choice to rest or spice things up with a little trip or some other unusual outing.
Last year as we were gearing up for vacation, I had a long list of "to dos" prepared for the week. I looked at that week as our one shot to give Jacob the full summer experience. When I was a kid I had plenty of opportunities to do fun things, mostly because my mom stayed home until I was eight (and part time after that), and beyond that I had an active group of family members (namely two aunts, an uncle and a grandmother) that liked to go out and do things, be it visiting a place like Artpark (cool spot in Lewiston, NY that always had crafty things going on), hitting up a summer food/ice cream joint, or just going out shopping. Doing that stuff during the summer really seemed special because it was a rarity during the school year. As a very little kid, I spent a lot of time outside on the swing set or in the sandbox or kiddie pool, and I feel like Jacob's time doing those things is so limited. He gets a completely different experience at daycare, of course, and it has its own merits, I'm sure, but having a week to spend with Mommy and Daddy doing different things has to be special. But the thing is, this year I'm feeling a little stumped. Pittsburgh could take up 2-3 days, but beyond that, I'm not sure what we should be doing.
The one thing I do have on the list at the moment is mini golf. Jacob plays hockey much like he would putt, and for some reason he's been mentioning golf a bit lately. He sees Craig's clubs in the garage and knows what golf is, and we've actually been wanting to take him mini-golfing for a while. However, as a life-long serious mini-golfer (seriously--I hate when people cheat or screw around...chalk it up to being the child of golfers who took a trip to Putt-Putt more seriously than most), the last thing I want to do is be one of "those people" that lets their too-young child terrorize the course. That means that busy Fridays and weekends are out. So, when we're off during the day, I think we'll have a better shot at a less busy course. There's one a few minutes from our house, and there's one classic one that I'd love to try that could potentially be less busy (but I'm not sure--good excuse to try it, though). It could either be really fun(ny) or really frustrating, but I think Jacob will enjoy it either way.
But beyond that, I'm just not sure. We could hit up Bills training camp again, go to the zoo (or even the Buffalo Zoo), swim in our pool (assuming it's ever not green again), make a return visit to the spray park, or make our first visit to Chuck E. Cheese. I'd like to hit up Seabreeze, our local amusement park, but I think it will be better next year when Jacob is taller and can ride more rides. He's got about 2-4 inches to go before he's tall enough to ride more of the kiddie rides. If Craig has his way, he'll want to go to the drive-in one night. As much as I love the one drive-in we visit periodically, it's a long haul and I'm not sure I want to do the drive-in thing with Jacob again for a while. Part of me thinks we should do a "date day" with just Craig and me, but again, I'm not feeling particularly drawn to any specific activities to make it a priority (though after last year's vacation, I swore we'd have to do it this year). I'm sure there are things to do, but right now I'm just sort of stumped. Maybe finally head to the public market? Seek out the best playgrounds in town? Finally let Jacob try bounce houses and inflatable slides at one of those places? Finally get my bike back in riding shape and ride by myself? I suppose the possibilities are endless and I'll just have to throw a bunch against the wall and see what sticks. Vacation can't be a bad thing, no matter what!
In other news, in light of Jacob's recent bumps and bruises, I'm finding myself hesitating as I stare at the permission slip from daycare asking if Jacob can use the "moon bounce" at this carnival next Friday. It's a carnival that's open to the public, I think put on by the church whose building the daycare uses. Daycare is visiting it, and for $3 Jacob can have fun in the moon bounce. The money isn't really an issue as it's all for a good cause. I'd like Jacob to be able to do something fun with his friends, but after the playground incident on Tuesday and my realization that maybe he's just extra clumsy, I'm just not sure what to do. Do I give in and risk another incident? Or do I hold off since I won't be there to supervise and I know he's accident-prone? Hmmm. I did find out this morning that Jacob is officially "moving up" at daycare on Monday. He'll finally, officially be in the two-year-old room. He'll be reunited with some old friends and lose out on a few current ones (for a while--I assume some will move up soon, if not at the same time), though the two rooms tend to do a lot together so he'll still see everyone. The big change is that the two-year-olds go on field trips. That will be cool, though scary for me since I won't always be there to keep an eye on him. Hard to believe he'll be in his fifth level of daycare since he started. Crazy. My little boy is growing up!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Photo Wednesday, a.k.a. Weekend Wrapup
So I'm a little late on my usual weekend update, but it's been an odd week. I was off work on Monday because I was feeling very under the weather on Sunday night. We had two parties to attend on Sunday, which meant two parties' worth of yummy food, and I think the sheer volume and general combination of it all was not a good thing. I was feeling very full and just blah by bedtime (after a LONG day and a late drive home), at which point my body decided to get rid of a lot of it in a hurry. I was feeling gross enough that I actually sped up the process a little more. Maybe I didn't have a choice in that matter--hard to tell--but I certainly didn't do anything to prevent it. While all of this was going on, Jacob was wide awake and determined to sleep in our bed. While I was bedridden and taking frequent trips to the bathroom, Craig was hobbling down the hallway to calm Jacob. Eventually Jacob did end up in our bed, but he was awake and restless until 2am (nothing like a kick to the stomach when you're already feeling gross) and eventually he did have to go back to his crib so all of us could sleep. I stayed home in the morning, both because I was tired and also because I wanted to regain my strength and make sure that the digestive evacuation wasn't something more. I felt fine stomach-wise, just tired, and kept myself busy most of the day running errands. Yesterday I worked a half day before our office closed for our annual picnic, which I blogged about last night. So, it's been a weird week.
Just a few pictures to share from the last week or so. We went to Craig's softball game last Tuesday. We went to watch, of course, since Craig can't play and misses the camaraderie. Jacob is always up for a baseball game, too, and it was a nice night and the game was at a good time. Jacob didn't watch much of the game but he and Craig did play ball a bit. I played, too, when Craig's leg got tired. Here's Jacob doing his thing, before he ran the bases and ended up quite dusty...
On Friday we braved the rain and went to the Red Wings game because there was a celebrity softball game pregame to support a former Amerk, our friend and former co-worker, Craig Charron, in his battle against stomach cancer. Craig would have played in the game if not for his injury, so that was a bit of a bummer, but we had a good time. This is the second event we've gone to for the cause (the first being a celebrity bartending event a month ago), and it's been cool to see real NHL players (Rochester natives Brian Gionta and Ryan Callahan, along with Rochester resident and former Amerk Scott Nichol) taking part in these events. Anyway, we ended up not staying too long because we had to pack for the weekend and it was ridiculously, disgustingly humid that night. But we did stay long enough to venture up to the suite where some of the celebrity softball players were hanging out--mostly media and 80s-era Amerks. I captured a couple cute shots of Jacob while we were in the seats outside the suite.
How's this for intensity? This is his game face when we go to sporting events...
Showing me his glove...
Big smiles!
I was so exhausted by the end of the evening--between the heat and whatever else--that I decided we should leave that night, no matter how late it was. It just seemed easier to pack everything at once and get on the road, rather than packing anything we wouldn't need for the morning, then having to pack the rest the next morning in the middle of our usual morning routine AND packing the big stuff. Friday night just seemed easier. Of course, after a rough night of sleep once we got to NT, I'm not sure it was, but at the time it just seemed necessary. Oh, well. Saturday Jacob spent a good chunk of the day with Craig and my dad so my mom and I could go, uninterrupted, to the Canal Fest Craft Show, an annual summer highlight. We had a nice long walk, ran into plenty of people we knew, and had a good time. After dinner, we headed out to Hamburg. Jacob and I were going to my family reunion the next day, which is just about 20 minutes from Craig's parents' house, and later Sunday was our nephew's birthday party.
Just a few pictures to share from the last week or so. We went to Craig's softball game last Tuesday. We went to watch, of course, since Craig can't play and misses the camaraderie. Jacob is always up for a baseball game, too, and it was a nice night and the game was at a good time. Jacob didn't watch much of the game but he and Craig did play ball a bit. I played, too, when Craig's leg got tired. Here's Jacob doing his thing, before he ran the bases and ended up quite dusty...
On Friday we braved the rain and went to the Red Wings game because there was a celebrity softball game pregame to support a former Amerk, our friend and former co-worker, Craig Charron, in his battle against stomach cancer. Craig would have played in the game if not for his injury, so that was a bit of a bummer, but we had a good time. This is the second event we've gone to for the cause (the first being a celebrity bartending event a month ago), and it's been cool to see real NHL players (Rochester natives Brian Gionta and Ryan Callahan, along with Rochester resident and former Amerk Scott Nichol) taking part in these events. Anyway, we ended up not staying too long because we had to pack for the weekend and it was ridiculously, disgustingly humid that night. But we did stay long enough to venture up to the suite where some of the celebrity softball players were hanging out--mostly media and 80s-era Amerks. I captured a couple cute shots of Jacob while we were in the seats outside the suite.
How's this for intensity? This is his game face when we go to sporting events...
Showing me his glove...
Big smiles!
I was so exhausted by the end of the evening--between the heat and whatever else--that I decided we should leave that night, no matter how late it was. It just seemed easier to pack everything at once and get on the road, rather than packing anything we wouldn't need for the morning, then having to pack the rest the next morning in the middle of our usual morning routine AND packing the big stuff. Friday night just seemed easier. Of course, after a rough night of sleep once we got to NT, I'm not sure it was, but at the time it just seemed necessary. Oh, well. Saturday Jacob spent a good chunk of the day with Craig and my dad so my mom and I could go, uninterrupted, to the Canal Fest Craft Show, an annual summer highlight. We had a nice long walk, ran into plenty of people we knew, and had a good time. After dinner, we headed out to Hamburg. Jacob and I were going to my family reunion the next day, which is just about 20 minutes from Craig's parents' house, and later Sunday was our nephew's birthday party.
Sunday started out rainy, but it cleared up in time for the reunion festivities. It's held every year at Camp Pioneer, a Lutheran camp on the shores of Lake Erie. I have many fond memories of playing on the beach there every year, getting countless sunburns (yeah, I know, but it was my best shot at color each year), and walking the beach picking up beach glass (you know, broken glass fragments smoothed by sand and water). I even went there for a week of camp when I was 13, and to a few weekend retreats in college. Mostly good memories, and I'm trying to make it a point to bring Jacob there each year so he gets to have the same fun I did. We went last year, but the weather didn't cooperate. This year I was so relieved when the rain stopped and it turned into a beautiful day. The beach even dried out nicely. While we waited for lunch, Jacob kept all hands on deck with his own mini-baseball game. Here he is pitching to my dad. He was cracking everyone up with his pitching style. I have video of it but I think I forgot to download it this time. Someday soon...
We headed down to the beach after lunch and ended up having a good time. It's a horribly rocky beach--in fact, I have some random memory of getting a stone embedded in my foot there, possibly on a field trip in, like, kindergarten--and even though I forgot Jacob's beach shoes, we had fun playing in the sand and surf. Here's Jacob throwing a rock (surprise)...
...And preparing to throw a rock...
Jacob and I actually sat right on the shore with the waves lapping up around us for a long time. He threw rocks, put them in a bucket, and giggled when the big waves rolled in. It took me back to my childhood a bit, and I loved that I could share that with him. We had a good time. Of course, like any parent, I was more than relieved to pack up our stuff, survive the changing and cleanup to get out of our bathing suits and back into dry clothes, and head out. Of course, instead of an hour drive home like when I was a kid (and I was riding back then!), we had a short drive, a birthday party, and then an hour and a half drive home. Ugh. And little did I know, but I had a long night of illness and sleeplessness to contend with too!
We headed down to the beach after lunch and ended up having a good time. It's a horribly rocky beach--in fact, I have some random memory of getting a stone embedded in my foot there, possibly on a field trip in, like, kindergarten--and even though I forgot Jacob's beach shoes, we had fun playing in the sand and surf. Here's Jacob throwing a rock (surprise)...
...And preparing to throw a rock...
Jacob and I actually sat right on the shore with the waves lapping up around us for a long time. He threw rocks, put them in a bucket, and giggled when the big waves rolled in. It took me back to my childhood a bit, and I loved that I could share that with him. We had a good time. Of course, like any parent, I was more than relieved to pack up our stuff, survive the changing and cleanup to get out of our bathing suits and back into dry clothes, and head out. Of course, instead of an hour drive home like when I was a kid (and I was riding back then!), we had a short drive, a birthday party, and then an hour and a half drive home. Ugh. And little did I know, but I had a long night of illness and sleeplessness to contend with too! As usual, Jacob was all over the place at the birthday party, but he seemed to play independently or with the other kids a little better than before. He could have gone on the big inflatable slip-n-slide outside, too, but quite frankly, he was content and it didn't seem worth it to go through the hassle of doing the bathing suit thing again. Once in a day is enough :) The party was nice, but it was good to get on the road and head for home. I was beat. The ride was a little torturous--I was tired and it felt long--but thankfully (?) I had my sick day to recover a bit from it all.
It was a fun weekend, and just another blip in a very busy stretch of weekends for us. This weekend we have a reunion in NT on Saturday and a charity hockey game on Sunday. We're still trying to plan the following weekend, and finalizing plans for the weekends after that, but we know they're going to be busy. We have to work on vacation time in there, too. More on that to come...
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Helicopter Parenting
I hear this phrase a lot nowadays, though it's mostly associated with older kids whose parents integrate themselves into every facet of their kids' lives, to the point that their kids never take any initiative to do things for themselves because their parents are always there to do it for them. Parents should be advocates for their kids, of course, but not to the degree that they discourage their kids from doing the tough stuff or where they support their kids in a situation where they shouldn't be supported (like when they have a showdown with a teacher and the kid is truly the problem). It's definitely a fine line, or at least, I'm sure it's finer when you're in the midst of a situation. But does the term apply to little kids? Toddlers? I'm sure to some degree it does. It may manifest itself in managing your kids' interactions with other people or what they eat or how they play. I tend to feel like I'm on the border of helicoptering, but I'm just not sure where the line is between helping Jacob along and doing too much.
Today was one of those days when I felt defeated by parenthood. My office picnic was today, and it all started out innocently enough. I headed to Jacob's daycare a little before 1pm to pick him up and take him to the picnic. Craig had to work, so it was just me and the little man. I knew the pickup time was right in the middle of his nap. I even considered letting him stay at daycare today, because he's got a cold and I hated the thought of disrupting his sleep yet again. It's been a rough week or two of sleeping, between late weekend nights, odd naptimes, sickness, and an apparently developing fear of the dark. He finally got a good night's sleep last night despite a nasty cold, and I half-considered just leaving him at daycare so he could have a normal day and a full nap. However, peer pressure did me in and I figured having a nice day with mommy was just as good as a good nap. And at first, it all seemed to be going well. I got to daycare and he was asleep, and I managed to get him up, in the car, and strapped in without waking him up. He slept the whole trip across town (probably 25 min.), and only woke up once we got there. He was in a good mood once he woke up, but the second he started looking around, I knew I was in trouble. The park we were at had sports fields surrounding it, and Jacob noticed the soccer nets immediately. He wouldn't stop talking about it, in fact, and it only got worse. Jacob squirmed all over the place, trying to get out of my arms and run for the exits so he could go play baseball or soccer or whatever. Shortly after we got there it was time to eat, but I knew he already had lunch at daycare so I figured he wouldn't be very interested. He snacked, but his attention span was short. I spent most of the day fighting him, actually. He wanted to play baseball, but there was no ball to be found so I tried to direct him to the bouncy house (a little one). While he was fighting me on that, some bigger kids started playing in the inflatable. Just then he decided he wanted to, too, but the kids were playing pretty rough so I tried directing him elsewhere. Ugh. Eventually he got to play in that, but then it was off to other things. We finally ended up on the playground. It was like every other playground out there, with a big apparatus full of various slides and climbing areas. He liked playing on the bridge (though he was very tentative on it) and did go down one slide (with me--he was afraid the slide was hot), but he lost interest in that soon enough. He carried around a baseball bat (not his) most of the time we were there. And you know, I consciously didn't bring his full assortment of equipment because I figured 1) I'm only one person and I didn't want to carry that much stuff) and 2) I figured there'd be enough other stuff going on that he wouldn't need it. But no, he was as focused on sports as ever. He was constantly running away from me, too. Needless to say, it was exhausting and frustrating. And I hardly got a chance to talk to anyone from my office, because I was constantly running after him and making sure he wasn't getting into any trouble.
After dessert, we headed back to the playground. A lot of kids were playing on it by then, and Jacob joined in. Most kids were a little bigger than him, but there was one that was smaller. Jacob insisted on taking the baseball bat with him, and while he was up on one of the platforms at the end of the bridge, the littler kid tried to take it from him. Jacob pulled it back and happened to step back in the process. Well, this happened to be one of the areas that didn't have anything penning him in--one side was just an open spot from which to jump from, I guess, about four feet up. Why they make those things like that, I don't know. I understand that these things are generally for older kids, but this one had a couple little slides and some other things that would appeal to younger kids, so why they make some of them so easy for kids to walk off of, I don't know. I was a couple feet away when it happened and couldn't get to him in time. He fell off the platform in a heap. I can't remember quite how he landed, but I think it was mostly on his back and side, with most of his body hitting the ground at the same time. It was a big drop and I pretty much had a mini-heart attack when it happened. Worst. Feeling. Ever. I rushed over to him and scooped him up. The way he fell it didn't appear he would have broken any bones, but you never know. He was crying hysterically (and believe me, I wanted to be, too) and I rushed him over to a shady area to assess the situation. I could see one little bloody spot on his cheek, and then took off his sunglasses to find a slightly worse one where they dug into his face a bit. But that was all I could find. He was crying too hard to find out if anything else hurt, so eventually I just took him into the lodge to clean him up, change his diaper and give him a good once-over. I figured a cold drink and some air conditioning might help, too. He cried for quite a while, but as usual, once he stopped, he was almost immediately back to normal. He was a little whinier for the rest of the time there, and the running and battling continued. At least it was good evidence that he wasn't hurt badly, since he seemed completely back to normal. We tried to keep things low key for the rest of the time, though. I was pretty relieved to get out of there and get home.
So, now, let's examine the situation. I know that I tend to helicopter a bit under normal circumstances. I'd rather help feed Jacob something messy, rather than have to deal with clothing changes and stain removal. I know he can feed himself with varying degrees of success, but in certain circumstances (like away from home or with foods that can be tough to chew), I tend to be a little more hands-on. I tend to spend a lot of time running after Jacob, because he gets into trouble far too easily and tends to be a little clumsy. Sometimes I see other parents letting their little kids run amok, and I feel like I'm one of "those parents" that never lets their kid do anything on their own. I'm totally the parent that's up on the playground equipment and sliding down the slide with him, or holding his hand down every flight of stairs, or hovering when he climbs on something. When we were at the spray park, I was never more than a couple feet away because things were wet and Jacob doesn't know his own limits. But other people were letting their little kids run free and I totally felt like an overprotective hoverer. Kids fall, kids get hurt, and kids heal. I get it. And if I don't let him run and fall, he'll never learn. But what if he runs and falls and REALLY gets hurt? Today was immensely scary. And it happened to be one of the few moments I was letting him run and play on his own. And look what happened. Part of me feels validated, that this proved that I have a reason to constantly hover, and the other part of me feels like a schmuck because I didn't follow my instincts and protect my child. He could have broken bones or gotten a concussion, and I should have been there to stop it. I suppose every kid is different, and I'm well aware that Jacob is clumsy. As athletic as he is when he's swinging a bat or lacrosse stick, or kicking or throwing a ball, he can't walk through obstacles at all. He never watches where he's walking or stepping. He'll look one way and walk another, or step on every toy in his path, or walk into opening doors or get thrown off balance by a crack in the sidewalk. And inevitably, he crashes into something. I must have kissed at least five boo-boos on Sunday alone, and I don't think that's counting the nasty brushburn he got on his chin when he fell while running. We were at a family reunion (weekend update to come soon) and I was retrieving stuff from the car while my mom was playing with him. When I got back he had a nasty scrape on his chin but was already happily running around again. When I got to daycare yesterday, he was getting iced down after losing his balance in the hallway and bumping his head. Then today happened. So maybe I should just accept that I know my kid best and his clumsiness dictates that I stick close by. We don't exactly have playdates with kids his own age very often, so I'm not even sure at what age it's normal to let your kid go a bit. And I swear that in almost every scenario we're in, there's never a kid his age. There's always ones just a little older or a little younger, and at this age even a few months makes a big difference. The big ones are just a little more coordinated and daring, and the younger ones worry me because Jacob can be a little hardcore with his sports and those kids would never know what hit them if Jacob's baseball swing went a little off-target. The whole thing just makes me uncomfortable.
So, yeah, today sorta sucked. I constantly felt like I was chasing down and trying to direct Jacob out of trouble (or at least, prevent him from bothering other people), and then the one time I tried to lay off, he fell and could have seriously hurt himself. It was an exhausting day and I didn't get to hang out with my co-workers at all. Oh, and then Craig had to work late. Any other day would have been one thing, but I was so mentally exhausted from all of this that I was desperately in need of some me-time to decompress (i.e., blog about it). Fortunately, Jacob ate his dinner pretty well and I filled the evening with a wagon ride and some low key outdoor play. He hasn't been wanting to take wagon rides lately, but I managed to convince him tonight. I found it sad that it was the first time all summer (actually, first time since we moved) that I had been able to take him on a wagon ride or walk of any kind. It's only almost August. Ugh. Where has this summer gone? Anyway, Jacob's face looks like he's gone a couple rounds with a baby Mike Tyson, and I'm still not feeling any better about the events of today. I keep hearing how boys are so much harder at this age, how girls just sit and play and boys never stop moving. It's no wonder I keep longing for baby #2 in hopes that it's a girl. Dolls and tea parties I can do...but this boy stuff? I'm not so sure I'm cut out for it. Not much choice, of course, but right now, it's really, really hard.
Today was one of those days when I felt defeated by parenthood. My office picnic was today, and it all started out innocently enough. I headed to Jacob's daycare a little before 1pm to pick him up and take him to the picnic. Craig had to work, so it was just me and the little man. I knew the pickup time was right in the middle of his nap. I even considered letting him stay at daycare today, because he's got a cold and I hated the thought of disrupting his sleep yet again. It's been a rough week or two of sleeping, between late weekend nights, odd naptimes, sickness, and an apparently developing fear of the dark. He finally got a good night's sleep last night despite a nasty cold, and I half-considered just leaving him at daycare so he could have a normal day and a full nap. However, peer pressure did me in and I figured having a nice day with mommy was just as good as a good nap. And at first, it all seemed to be going well. I got to daycare and he was asleep, and I managed to get him up, in the car, and strapped in without waking him up. He slept the whole trip across town (probably 25 min.), and only woke up once we got there. He was in a good mood once he woke up, but the second he started looking around, I knew I was in trouble. The park we were at had sports fields surrounding it, and Jacob noticed the soccer nets immediately. He wouldn't stop talking about it, in fact, and it only got worse. Jacob squirmed all over the place, trying to get out of my arms and run for the exits so he could go play baseball or soccer or whatever. Shortly after we got there it was time to eat, but I knew he already had lunch at daycare so I figured he wouldn't be very interested. He snacked, but his attention span was short. I spent most of the day fighting him, actually. He wanted to play baseball, but there was no ball to be found so I tried to direct him to the bouncy house (a little one). While he was fighting me on that, some bigger kids started playing in the inflatable. Just then he decided he wanted to, too, but the kids were playing pretty rough so I tried directing him elsewhere. Ugh. Eventually he got to play in that, but then it was off to other things. We finally ended up on the playground. It was like every other playground out there, with a big apparatus full of various slides and climbing areas. He liked playing on the bridge (though he was very tentative on it) and did go down one slide (with me--he was afraid the slide was hot), but he lost interest in that soon enough. He carried around a baseball bat (not his) most of the time we were there. And you know, I consciously didn't bring his full assortment of equipment because I figured 1) I'm only one person and I didn't want to carry that much stuff) and 2) I figured there'd be enough other stuff going on that he wouldn't need it. But no, he was as focused on sports as ever. He was constantly running away from me, too. Needless to say, it was exhausting and frustrating. And I hardly got a chance to talk to anyone from my office, because I was constantly running after him and making sure he wasn't getting into any trouble.
After dessert, we headed back to the playground. A lot of kids were playing on it by then, and Jacob joined in. Most kids were a little bigger than him, but there was one that was smaller. Jacob insisted on taking the baseball bat with him, and while he was up on one of the platforms at the end of the bridge, the littler kid tried to take it from him. Jacob pulled it back and happened to step back in the process. Well, this happened to be one of the areas that didn't have anything penning him in--one side was just an open spot from which to jump from, I guess, about four feet up. Why they make those things like that, I don't know. I understand that these things are generally for older kids, but this one had a couple little slides and some other things that would appeal to younger kids, so why they make some of them so easy for kids to walk off of, I don't know. I was a couple feet away when it happened and couldn't get to him in time. He fell off the platform in a heap. I can't remember quite how he landed, but I think it was mostly on his back and side, with most of his body hitting the ground at the same time. It was a big drop and I pretty much had a mini-heart attack when it happened. Worst. Feeling. Ever. I rushed over to him and scooped him up. The way he fell it didn't appear he would have broken any bones, but you never know. He was crying hysterically (and believe me, I wanted to be, too) and I rushed him over to a shady area to assess the situation. I could see one little bloody spot on his cheek, and then took off his sunglasses to find a slightly worse one where they dug into his face a bit. But that was all I could find. He was crying too hard to find out if anything else hurt, so eventually I just took him into the lodge to clean him up, change his diaper and give him a good once-over. I figured a cold drink and some air conditioning might help, too. He cried for quite a while, but as usual, once he stopped, he was almost immediately back to normal. He was a little whinier for the rest of the time there, and the running and battling continued. At least it was good evidence that he wasn't hurt badly, since he seemed completely back to normal. We tried to keep things low key for the rest of the time, though. I was pretty relieved to get out of there and get home.
So, now, let's examine the situation. I know that I tend to helicopter a bit under normal circumstances. I'd rather help feed Jacob something messy, rather than have to deal with clothing changes and stain removal. I know he can feed himself with varying degrees of success, but in certain circumstances (like away from home or with foods that can be tough to chew), I tend to be a little more hands-on. I tend to spend a lot of time running after Jacob, because he gets into trouble far too easily and tends to be a little clumsy. Sometimes I see other parents letting their little kids run amok, and I feel like I'm one of "those parents" that never lets their kid do anything on their own. I'm totally the parent that's up on the playground equipment and sliding down the slide with him, or holding his hand down every flight of stairs, or hovering when he climbs on something. When we were at the spray park, I was never more than a couple feet away because things were wet and Jacob doesn't know his own limits. But other people were letting their little kids run free and I totally felt like an overprotective hoverer. Kids fall, kids get hurt, and kids heal. I get it. And if I don't let him run and fall, he'll never learn. But what if he runs and falls and REALLY gets hurt? Today was immensely scary. And it happened to be one of the few moments I was letting him run and play on his own. And look what happened. Part of me feels validated, that this proved that I have a reason to constantly hover, and the other part of me feels like a schmuck because I didn't follow my instincts and protect my child. He could have broken bones or gotten a concussion, and I should have been there to stop it. I suppose every kid is different, and I'm well aware that Jacob is clumsy. As athletic as he is when he's swinging a bat or lacrosse stick, or kicking or throwing a ball, he can't walk through obstacles at all. He never watches where he's walking or stepping. He'll look one way and walk another, or step on every toy in his path, or walk into opening doors or get thrown off balance by a crack in the sidewalk. And inevitably, he crashes into something. I must have kissed at least five boo-boos on Sunday alone, and I don't think that's counting the nasty brushburn he got on his chin when he fell while running. We were at a family reunion (weekend update to come soon) and I was retrieving stuff from the car while my mom was playing with him. When I got back he had a nasty scrape on his chin but was already happily running around again. When I got to daycare yesterday, he was getting iced down after losing his balance in the hallway and bumping his head. Then today happened. So maybe I should just accept that I know my kid best and his clumsiness dictates that I stick close by. We don't exactly have playdates with kids his own age very often, so I'm not even sure at what age it's normal to let your kid go a bit. And I swear that in almost every scenario we're in, there's never a kid his age. There's always ones just a little older or a little younger, and at this age even a few months makes a big difference. The big ones are just a little more coordinated and daring, and the younger ones worry me because Jacob can be a little hardcore with his sports and those kids would never know what hit them if Jacob's baseball swing went a little off-target. The whole thing just makes me uncomfortable.
So, yeah, today sorta sucked. I constantly felt like I was chasing down and trying to direct Jacob out of trouble (or at least, prevent him from bothering other people), and then the one time I tried to lay off, he fell and could have seriously hurt himself. It was an exhausting day and I didn't get to hang out with my co-workers at all. Oh, and then Craig had to work late. Any other day would have been one thing, but I was so mentally exhausted from all of this that I was desperately in need of some me-time to decompress (i.e., blog about it). Fortunately, Jacob ate his dinner pretty well and I filled the evening with a wagon ride and some low key outdoor play. He hasn't been wanting to take wagon rides lately, but I managed to convince him tonight. I found it sad that it was the first time all summer (actually, first time since we moved) that I had been able to take him on a wagon ride or walk of any kind. It's only almost August. Ugh. Where has this summer gone? Anyway, Jacob's face looks like he's gone a couple rounds with a baby Mike Tyson, and I'm still not feeling any better about the events of today. I keep hearing how boys are so much harder at this age, how girls just sit and play and boys never stop moving. It's no wonder I keep longing for baby #2 in hopes that it's a girl. Dolls and tea parties I can do...but this boy stuff? I'm not so sure I'm cut out for it. Not much choice, of course, but right now, it's really, really hard.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Why?
All of a sudden, we've entered the "Why?" phase. Ugh. Jacob will literally ask "Why?" five times in a row. And yes, we indulge him by trying to give a reasonable answer each time. I generally don't mind giving him an answer each time because I figure it will only help his language development and will help him understand cause and effect with a lot of things, but there's a point at which it gets ridiculous. And truly, I'm not sure he understands what he's doing. I don't know if he picked it up somewhere and thought it was funny, or if he really gets that there's a reason for things and he wants to understand why. But some of the things he asks about aren't really things you can answer "why" about, so I'm not sure if he's just doing it to be funny, or if he just doesn't comprehend that not everything has a specific cause and effect. A typical interaction is as follows:
Jacob: "Daddy play baseball?"
Us: "No, Daddy can't play baseball."
Jacob: "Why?"
Us: "Because it will hurt Daddy's leg"
Jacob: "Why?"
Us: "Because Daddy has a boo-boo."
Jacob: "Why?"
Us: "Because he hurt himself playing softball."
Jacob: "Why?"
Us: "Because Daddy's getting old."
Jacob: "Why?"
Us: [Perplexed silence] "Ummm, because he is?"
So, yeah, eventually it gets to a point where you don't have an answer. Usually we get there more quickly than that, but that's generally how it goes. I try to be patient because I know it's all just a process of learning, but sometimes it's not easy! I knew this phase was coming, but hoped we'd avoid it. Oh, well.
Let's see...what else is new? Jacob is growing up so much these days. He talks non-stop sometimes, even if it isn't about anything in particular. He repeats himself a lot, which I hope is normal. Sometimes he's just downright obsessive, talking about things long after I figure other kids would have moved on to something else. Unfortunately, that trait also holds true for many tantrums, and he will cry and carry on about the same thing for quite a while. We're definitely finding it challenging to hold our ground on some things when the tantrum has gone on for so long, but it's a fine line between giving in and restoring sanity. We've been having some trouble at bedtime lately, which is partly due to our weekends being off schedule and partly due to having some evening activities that led to Jacob falling asleep on the way home, just before or right around bedtime. He'll sleep through getting his PJs on and then suddenly wake up, and then he'll be awake for an hour or more beyond that. It's led to some awfully late nights for him, and quite a bit of frustration for us. We'll be up in his room numerous times--and that's probably about half as often as we could be in there based on how he'll carry on sometimes. Craig wants to give in more than me. I'm constantly thinking about how I don't want him to get used to having us come in whenever he calls (he's already figured out the drink of water trick and apparently keeps very good track of the dozen stuffed animals that normally live in his crib, asking for whoever's missing), but I think Craig sees visits to his room as another opportunity to calm him down for good and get us some peace for the night. Sometimes I win, sometimes he does. Jacob usually sleeps through pretty well, though periodically will call out in the middle of the night. But it's rare that we're up for long, if at all. But evenings have been tough. I guess it just points to the importance of a schedule.
He's doing a little better with his eating these days, as long as he likes what he's been given. He ate a big bowl of mac and cheese for lunch the other day, the piece and a half of pizza last Friday, and a good sized bowl of spaghetti on Monday. I don't know if it's anything near what his peers might be eating, but I know our sense of portion sizes are warped these days so I'm guessing it's not as bad as it seems. He's growing, so he's eating somewhere! He loves fruit and will generally eat all of what I give him--grapes, nectarines, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries--so it's nice to know he's at least getting something healthy with meals. He's still a little timid with anything he doesn't recognize, but we'll get there. I'm trying to make sure I'm not doing the "short order cook" thing, but sometimes it's a tough call when you want to make sure your kid eats. There's always bread, cheese and fruit!
He's a challenge sometimes, that's for sure, but who can resist that sweet smile?
Jacob: "Daddy play baseball?"
Us: "No, Daddy can't play baseball."
Jacob: "Why?"
Us: "Because it will hurt Daddy's leg"
Jacob: "Why?"
Us: "Because Daddy has a boo-boo."
Jacob: "Why?"
Us: "Because he hurt himself playing softball."
Jacob: "Why?"
Us: "Because Daddy's getting old."
Jacob: "Why?"
Us: [Perplexed silence] "Ummm, because he is?"
So, yeah, eventually it gets to a point where you don't have an answer. Usually we get there more quickly than that, but that's generally how it goes. I try to be patient because I know it's all just a process of learning, but sometimes it's not easy! I knew this phase was coming, but hoped we'd avoid it. Oh, well.
Let's see...what else is new? Jacob is growing up so much these days. He talks non-stop sometimes, even if it isn't about anything in particular. He repeats himself a lot, which I hope is normal. Sometimes he's just downright obsessive, talking about things long after I figure other kids would have moved on to something else. Unfortunately, that trait also holds true for many tantrums, and he will cry and carry on about the same thing for quite a while. We're definitely finding it challenging to hold our ground on some things when the tantrum has gone on for so long, but it's a fine line between giving in and restoring sanity. We've been having some trouble at bedtime lately, which is partly due to our weekends being off schedule and partly due to having some evening activities that led to Jacob falling asleep on the way home, just before or right around bedtime. He'll sleep through getting his PJs on and then suddenly wake up, and then he'll be awake for an hour or more beyond that. It's led to some awfully late nights for him, and quite a bit of frustration for us. We'll be up in his room numerous times--and that's probably about half as often as we could be in there based on how he'll carry on sometimes. Craig wants to give in more than me. I'm constantly thinking about how I don't want him to get used to having us come in whenever he calls (he's already figured out the drink of water trick and apparently keeps very good track of the dozen stuffed animals that normally live in his crib, asking for whoever's missing), but I think Craig sees visits to his room as another opportunity to calm him down for good and get us some peace for the night. Sometimes I win, sometimes he does. Jacob usually sleeps through pretty well, though periodically will call out in the middle of the night. But it's rare that we're up for long, if at all. But evenings have been tough. I guess it just points to the importance of a schedule.
He's doing a little better with his eating these days, as long as he likes what he's been given. He ate a big bowl of mac and cheese for lunch the other day, the piece and a half of pizza last Friday, and a good sized bowl of spaghetti on Monday. I don't know if it's anything near what his peers might be eating, but I know our sense of portion sizes are warped these days so I'm guessing it's not as bad as it seems. He's growing, so he's eating somewhere! He loves fruit and will generally eat all of what I give him--grapes, nectarines, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries--so it's nice to know he's at least getting something healthy with meals. He's still a little timid with anything he doesn't recognize, but we'll get there. I'm trying to make sure I'm not doing the "short order cook" thing, but sometimes it's a tough call when you want to make sure your kid eats. There's always bread, cheese and fruit!
He's a challenge sometimes, that's for sure, but who can resist that sweet smile?
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Thinking Back...and Ahead...
A friend of mine had a baby today. It's an old friend, one I don't see often. A former co-worker, actually. Thinking of her as a mom is admittedly a bit of a switch for me, since the last time I hung out with her at length was back in her prime party days. But we all grow up and many of us take this route in life--marriage, house, kids--and where we were before doesn't generally matter anymore as long as we're happy and comfortable with our choices. I'm sure there are people from previous eras of my life that have a hard time thinking of me as a wife and mother, either because they still think of me as a little girl or because some interaction with me made me seem particularly un-mother-like. I couldn't be happier for her, that she's happily married, no longer in sports (and as a parent, that's truly a good thing, regardless of passion!), and now, a mother. As hard as this job is, it's one of the best. Recently Jacob's been really willing to hug and give kisses (if you catch him at the right moment), and just this morning I got a fantastic hug that just made my day.
Anyway, following her in the last few weeks on Facebook has been interesting, and in many ways it has mirrored what I experience following pregnancy bloggers, primarily the ones featured on parenting.com. I've mentioned these blogs before, and they're really quite enjoyable as a parent. One of the pregnancy bloggers recently had her baby, and she was over a week overdue so there was a LOT of buildup to her delivery. All of that buildup left a time of time for pre-delivery ponderings, with many of the same thoughts I remember having. Although, my early delivery didn't leave a lot of time for serious wistful ponderings, but even if I never blogged about them or got a good "last _fill-in-the-blank-non-parenthood-activity-here_", I probably thought about them at one point or another. I've blogged about it before, that sweet time pre-delivery where you have all of the excitement and anticipation, but none of the responsibility and stress and sleep deprivation. I suppose it's good that we all go into first-time parenthood relatively clueless. I mean, we all know it's going to be hard and stressful and exhausting, but you don't truly know until you're in the midst of it. And even then you're too preoccupied and tired to really think about it. You just forge ahead, doing what you can. And once you've finally emerged from it (or at least from the deepest depths), it's an interesting exercise to look back. I look at other people's baby experiences and at Jacob's early baby pictures and know I missed opportunities or didn't savor the little moments nearly enough. We all look at new parents and think of what an exciting time it is for them. And truly, it is. It's immensely special and unique. But due to the reasons I listed above, I almost don't think it's possible to step outside of the situation and take the time in the moment to truly savor it and realize just how significant it is. Maybe I'm just a unique case because I didn't have the normal first week with my baby. We were separated more than most parents and babies are, and the stress of Jacob's illness probably took some of the joy out of it. Those special early weeks home were spent playing catch-up and figuring things out and worrying far too much about screwing up, rather than just being able to sit and enjoy. Such is life for new parents, I suppose, but I guess it takes looking at other new parents to realize what you may have missed out on. But then again, as outsiders you're not having to survive sleep deprivation and its related mentally taxing symptoms, nor do you have to coordinate a baby's feeding and sleeping schedules, so it's easy to see just the simple moments...and having been there, know how fleeting they really are.
Another blogger on the Parenting site had a great point today. She's preparing for baby #2 and has realized how she needs to enjoy her time with her two-year-old daughter before her son arrives. She likens the current period to the time before she had her first, where she should have been making more of a conscious effort to savor the freedom she had. Instead of spending all of her time and energy thinking about the baby she was about to have, she forgot to enjoy her time without the baby, getting in last bits of what she referred to as "irresponsible" behavior like going on a long vacation, going to more movies, going to bed late to sleep late, just because she could. So, this time around, she's trying to focus on this time with her little girl while it's just her as the center of attention. She's trying to move at her daughter's pace, and savor the time that they have left of exclusive mommy-daughter time. I think she says it beautifully here:
She makes a very good point, and as we're debating the timing of baby #2, I keep trying to remind myself of all of the things I should be doing right now before that's even a reality--spending more time with Jacob, figuring out the logistics of potentially working part time, taking down the border in Jacob's future bedroom and pondering new carpet, etc. There's no rush, I guess, but before I get all caught up in what could be, I suppose there's plenty to take care of in the present. So many things will change, and I suppose if I think of them all right now, we might never get to baby #2. Sometimes you just have to go with it, and figure it out along the way. I do hope to enjoy things more the second time around--both before and after--but I think, much like the blogger above, I should start by living more in the present now.
Anyway, following her in the last few weeks on Facebook has been interesting, and in many ways it has mirrored what I experience following pregnancy bloggers, primarily the ones featured on parenting.com. I've mentioned these blogs before, and they're really quite enjoyable as a parent. One of the pregnancy bloggers recently had her baby, and she was over a week overdue so there was a LOT of buildup to her delivery. All of that buildup left a time of time for pre-delivery ponderings, with many of the same thoughts I remember having. Although, my early delivery didn't leave a lot of time for serious wistful ponderings, but even if I never blogged about them or got a good "last _fill-in-the-blank-non-parenthood-activity-here_", I probably thought about them at one point or another. I've blogged about it before, that sweet time pre-delivery where you have all of the excitement and anticipation, but none of the responsibility and stress and sleep deprivation. I suppose it's good that we all go into first-time parenthood relatively clueless. I mean, we all know it's going to be hard and stressful and exhausting, but you don't truly know until you're in the midst of it. And even then you're too preoccupied and tired to really think about it. You just forge ahead, doing what you can. And once you've finally emerged from it (or at least from the deepest depths), it's an interesting exercise to look back. I look at other people's baby experiences and at Jacob's early baby pictures and know I missed opportunities or didn't savor the little moments nearly enough. We all look at new parents and think of what an exciting time it is for them. And truly, it is. It's immensely special and unique. But due to the reasons I listed above, I almost don't think it's possible to step outside of the situation and take the time in the moment to truly savor it and realize just how significant it is. Maybe I'm just a unique case because I didn't have the normal first week with my baby. We were separated more than most parents and babies are, and the stress of Jacob's illness probably took some of the joy out of it. Those special early weeks home were spent playing catch-up and figuring things out and worrying far too much about screwing up, rather than just being able to sit and enjoy. Such is life for new parents, I suppose, but I guess it takes looking at other new parents to realize what you may have missed out on. But then again, as outsiders you're not having to survive sleep deprivation and its related mentally taxing symptoms, nor do you have to coordinate a baby's feeding and sleeping schedules, so it's easy to see just the simple moments...and having been there, know how fleeting they really are.
Another blogger on the Parenting site had a great point today. She's preparing for baby #2 and has realized how she needs to enjoy her time with her two-year-old daughter before her son arrives. She likens the current period to the time before she had her first, where she should have been making more of a conscious effort to savor the freedom she had. Instead of spending all of her time and energy thinking about the baby she was about to have, she forgot to enjoy her time without the baby, getting in last bits of what she referred to as "irresponsible" behavior like going on a long vacation, going to more movies, going to bed late to sleep late, just because she could. So, this time around, she's trying to focus on this time with her little girl while it's just her as the center of attention. She's trying to move at her daughter's pace, and savor the time that they have left of exclusive mommy-daughter time. I think she says it beautifully here:
"I don’t know if I’d have been as mindful or as grateful of this last summer
together if I weren’t aware, all the time, of a very different future we’re
travelling toward. It’s nice to see the joy ahead and appreciate the joy behind,
but for right now it’s even better to spend these lazy summer days living
absolutely in the present—and loving every minute."
She makes a very good point, and as we're debating the timing of baby #2, I keep trying to remind myself of all of the things I should be doing right now before that's even a reality--spending more time with Jacob, figuring out the logistics of potentially working part time, taking down the border in Jacob's future bedroom and pondering new carpet, etc. There's no rush, I guess, but before I get all caught up in what could be, I suppose there's plenty to take care of in the present. So many things will change, and I suppose if I think of them all right now, we might never get to baby #2. Sometimes you just have to go with it, and figure it out along the way. I do hope to enjoy things more the second time around--both before and after--but I think, much like the blogger above, I should start by living more in the present now.
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