A Week at Home

It's been an interesting week at home.  I'm always a bit cautious about these weeks home with Jacob, just because I'm well aware that I may not be suited to full time mothering at home.  I've long said that I'm made to work part time.  I need the adult interaction, but I still feel like the couple weekend days and a bunch of evenings aren't quite enough.  It's hard to find time among errands and relaxing during my non-work hours where Jacob isn't sleeping but is a willing participant in whatever I'd like to do.  It's a tough balance at best.

I was looking forward to this week because Jacob got some crafty stuff for Christmas and I figured it would be a good week to play around with some of it.  The other night we did Play-Doh for the first time ever, despite having numerous little cans of it sitting around, courtesy of goody bags from daycare and parties.  I just never wanted to take the time or deal with the mess.  But this week, it seemed manageable.  And it was....we had a good time.  It took Jacob some time to get used to rolling it out and using cookie cutters, but he was really great with it. 

Not bad for an automatic timer shot!

Making "cookies"

Wednesday morning we built a giant tower with MegaBloks...

...and later that day we took Jacob to a lacrosse camp that Craig had players at.  Strangely, Jacob didn't look that much smaller than the smallest kids, who are a few years older than him.  He didn't get to play long, but he certainly looked cute doing it...

Thursday I had planned to send Jacob to daycare, just in case there was anything I needed to do solo...shopping, returns, etc.  In the end it turned into a date day for Craig and me.  We saw a movie ("The Muppets"--brought back good memories and I wish "The Muppet Show" was still around), went out to lunch, and did some shopping.  It was a nice day and I think it's good to do that once in a while. 

Friday night we went to an open house at the sports complex near our house.  We're planning on sending Jacob there for one sport or another next summer since he's just too young for tee-ball (which is crazy since he's probably at least as good as those kids already).  I just got a Groupon-esque deal for half off, too!  Anyway, most of the local teams had players and/or mascots there, and Jacob spent most of the night playing soccer.  I made him watch a magic show and he took a break to go see the Rhinos' mascot, Rex, but neither the inflatable slides and obstacle courses, nor the lure of pizza, were much of a distraction. 

I still have a few days to go since we're all off Monday, but it's been a good week.  To be honest, we're a little slow getting going in the morning, and Jacob is all about playing anyway, so by the time we get through lunch and nap, the day seems mostly over...just a little more playtime and dinner before bedtime creeps up.  He's taken a few marathon naps during this break, which seem to hinder bedtime a bit.  I think he's probably getting to the point where he could start giving up his nap, but since he takes it, it gives him an abundance of energy.  He can keep it up as long as he needs to, even though it's a little inconvenient sometimes.

It's nice to have the time to sit and play with him, and to do some of the stuff we don't usually get around to doing.  He's at a fun age right now, where he can get into some of this stuff and isn't always stubborn like he was a while back.  He plays well by himself, too, so I've had some opportunities to blog, clean or relax...which has been a welcomed opportunity.  Still so much more I'd like to do, but hopefully the next few days can be productive as well.  I've organized toys, washed our kitchen floor (more on that in another post), and hope to do some laundry today, among other things.  I could take down the Christmas stuff, but I can't bring myself to do it just yet.  It takes me a little while to downshift from Christmas.  I hate when Christmas lights start disappearing from the neighborhood and trees start appearing on the curb.  I cringe when people post on Facebook that their tree is down on the 26th.  I sort of like the lazy side of Christmas, even if it is a little depressing to know that the fun is over. 

We have some fun things to look forward to, though.  Next weekend Jacob is going to his first Sabres' game, and Knighthawks season is just around the corner.  Later this year we're going to Disney with Craig's whole family (part of our Christmas gift!), and hopefully this will be the year we add to our family...though we need things to start working out sooner rather than later for that to happen.  2011 was a year of ups and downs.  Despite the losses (primarily my aunt and grandma), we still had a good year--we gained a nephew, took a great vacation, and came out of the changes in Craig's job no poorer but with more free time.  So, overall, not too bad.  I pray that this coming year is at least this good, and hopefully even better.  Best wishes to everyone out there for a very happy and healthy 2012!

Photo Friday

Now that we're through Christmas, time to catch up on some pictures from the past few weeks...

Here's a reject from the Christmas card photo shoot.  I got a LOT of this, because every time I went to hit the shutter button, Jacob bent over, moved closer to the camera, and made that crazy face.  Thank goodness we got the ones we did!

We went to the Knighthawks' home preseason game on the 17th, and Jacob kept talking about going on the field postgame.  He loves it, and although it made for a late night, he was such a good boy that we stayed.  I got some fun shots...

Where did this big boy come from?

Focused

Posing, per my request.  Didn't quite get the smile I was looking for, but still, he did that pose himself.

Again with the silly, wide-eyed face.  So much for getting a regular old smile...

And now for a few more miscellaneous ones...

Our Christmas card, with bonus artistic shots of one of our ornaments and our nativity scene

The winning picture from Jacob's latest daycare photo shoot. For prints we cropped it just below the hand in the pocket. He looks super handsome and it was well worth the obscene cost to purchase the CD (which was far less than the prints would have cost). There were some other good ones, but this one was HIM. Picture courtesy of CLIX Rochester.

It's Captain America!  Jacob showing off his shirt, shield and mask, all Christmas gifts.  There's that face again...what a goofball!

What a crazy few weeks it has been.  Good weeks, but even with a week off, man, am I tired! 

Different

On Christmas morning as we were heading from one house to another, Craig remarked that it didn't feel like Christmas.  I knew what he meant.  I don't know what it was, but for some reason it didn't exactly feel like Christmas.  I mean, it was a great couple days and I have really changed anything, but even now I'm almost surprised that another Christmas is behind us.  It always goes fast.  It's like planning for a wedding or the birth of a baby, but on a smaller scale.  So much buildup for a day or two of craziness, and then it's over.  You're left with good stuff in the aftermath, but there's so much planning and then...it's over.  I have some theories about why it felt that way, but I'm not sure if any of them really explain it...or even all of them.

1) This was the first Christmas without my grandma.  For a variety of reasons, we didn't even see that side of the family this year.  My parents had everyone over on Christmas Eve, but that's our prime time with Craig's family, so we missed it.  For Christmas, everyone had other family commitments and our Christmas day is usually full enough that there was no need to force it.  And without the gifts my grandma used to give, there wasn't that added motivation.  While I didn't miss the gifts themselves, I certainly missed the dose of "Grandma" those gifts represented.  Every year we'd get a new Hallmark ornament (our tree is covered with them), and that tradition is over.  It's probably a good thing as we're nearly out of room, but I did enjoy pulling them all out this year and appreciating how special they are now that she's gone.  She also tended to give certain things over the years--Christmas linens, jewelry, perfume, etc.--and I'll always look at that stuff knowing it came from her.  So while it's not the gifts, I do miss time with that side of the family and the memories from the gift opening over the years. 

2) Last Christmas was pretty hard to top.  Last year, John, Kristin and Kate flew in from Portland on Christmas.  We had a blast on the 26th opening presents with both kids, and the next few days were really great having the whole family together and watching the kids interact for the first time.  Also, their presence extended the holiday a bit.  Like this year, we did our Santa presents at home on the 23rd, Christmas with Craig's family on the 24th, family stuff on my side on the 25th, and two exchanges on the 26th (as I recall) because my mom's family came over to see the Portland crew that night.  It made for a great, long-running Christmas.  In comparison, this year seemed short and significantly less exciting.  Still great, but you know...different.

3) Christmas mass was in a gym.  It was still lovely, but it was different.  Growing up, we spent all of Christmas at church, or so it seemed.  We did two services on Christmas Eve (Children's service and Candlelight service), and then one on Christmas morning.  I loved the Christmas Eve services so much, and once Craig and I started spending the holidays together, the compromise was giving up Christmas Eve traditions with my family.  In return I got to keep all of our Christmas Day craziness, which was the key part of Christmas for me.  But I've always missed Christmas Eve...even though my parents now go to a different church anyway.  For the past five years or so, we've gone to Christmas Eve mass late in the afternoon.  I actually really liked the year we did Midnight Mass, but I don't think that's the best idea for a busy next day.  But over these past years I've really come to enjoy that time at Craig's parents' church.  The music is beautiful, the mood peaceful, and knowing that the kids are hyper because they're excited for Santa makes the distractions a little cuter than usual.  This year the church had another service in the gym to handle the overflow from the very busy mass in the main sanctuary.  Craig's mom was part of the singing group for the gym service so we went to that one.  And while it was fine, it was different.  And in a year of lots of "different", I suppose it didn't help.  Still, it was impressively lovely for something in a gym, and the message was really nice.

4) No snow.  We hardly had any snow prior to Christmas and other than a flurry the moment we arrived in Buffalo on Friday night, no sight of snow through the holidays.  I appreciated the easy driving while running Christmas errands, but I missed that extra Christmas spirit boost.  Of course, here we are three days later with a few inches of blowing snow. 

5) Maybe I planned better.  I still had a lot of last minute stuff to do, but I think overall I planned better so I wasn't spending the few days before Christmas buying things like teacher presents and co-worker presents and all the stuff I normally scramble for.  Maybe because it was more evenly spread across the last couple weeks of the season, I didn't have the same rush I normally associate with the end of the Christmas season. 

Like I said, in spite of all of these changes, we still had an awesome Christmas.  Jacob's excitement was fun to see, and that probably made the holiday for both of us.  We enjoyed our gifts (one of my surprise favorites--Shel Silverstein's "Every Thing On It"--loved his stuff as a kid and can't wait to share it with Jacob), but Jacob's joy was infectious.  As I alluded to above, Christmas tends to change as you get older--from the crazy-about-Santa phase, to a more mature but still excited phase, to sharing it with a special someone, to enjoying your children and grandchildren.  Every phase has its good points and bad points, and each phase involves some adjusting.  "Different" doesn't necessarily mean "better" or "worse"...but it does take an open mind to appreciate the new and gracefully miss the old.  I may miss my old church on Christmas Eve, but a chaotic-but-fun time with Craig's whole family is a special blessing itself.   This year may have been different, but despite that, we still had a fantastic holiday.  We are truly blessed.

One more thing for today...

Happy Birthday to this blog! Hard to believe, but it turns four years old today! Four years ago today, I vividly remember sitting down at the computer in the office in our old house and sharing with the world (or at least the select friends and family members that I sent the link to) that we were having a baby. Four years later, that baby is running around the house changing his clothes repeatedly, leaving bits of Batman's "house" on the living room floor, and yelling to me that he peed in the potty. Definitely a big change from that Christmas to this one!

Craig and me with the first ultrasound picture, which we had framed and wrapped up for our parents' Christmas gifts--our way of revealing we were expecting.  I look so young.

I'm not sure I would have expected to still be doing this four years later, but I certainly hoped I would.  And nowadays I'm hoping that I'll have a whole new story to tell at some point in the not-too-distant future.  But I suppose Jacob is enough subject matter for now.  It's worked for this long, anyway. 

FOUR YEARS.  Wow.  As they say, a baby changes everything.

Christmas Recap!

Wow, what a crazy few days it has been!   I knew last week it would be non-stop, and it was.  But it was awesome.  We really had a great holiday. 

It all started on Friday afternoon.  I made a couple stops on my way home from work (half day, thank goodness!) and started working on one last batch of cookies to take along with us to our family gatherings.  I knew it would take a lot of time, but I still did it.  I had more presents to wrap (including a couple waiting on our doorstep when I got home), and I needed to pack up both Jacob and me for the trip to Buffalo.  It was quite a to do list for the end of the preparation process!  We didn't leave until late-ish that night, but it all got done!

The tree was ready to go, fresh from our annual "test run" visit from Santa, by the time Jacob got home from daycare. 

Jacob very much enjoyed his gifts from Santa and us, as well as Uncle John, Aunt Kristin, Kate, and Max.  This year seemed to be a bit different than the past--he wanted to fly through gifts much more quickly, rather than how he was in the past where he wanted to stop and investigate every single gift.  Too quick, in my opinion, and I found it nearly impossible to get a good picture!  He got a lot of gifts, most of them superhero-themed.  If last year was the year of sports, this was the year of the superhero.  He got a Spider-Man-themed toothbrush/cup holder, a lot of superhero books, Batman slippers, a Captain America Pez dispenser, and a few action figures, among other things.    

Captain America figure!  Oh, by the way, he's in his jammies because it was PJs day at daycare...appropriate for gift opening, though!

First Knighthawks jersey!  They were way discounted so we thought it was just about time for one!

And yes, the Batcave!  This was the big, long-awaited gift, and Santa delivered.  Jacob once again walked in the door and pinpointed which present was the big one he wanted (he did it with his hockey rink last year), and he was right. 

 Jacob loved the Batcave, and admittedly it's pretty cool.  It was tough to pry him away once we finished dinner and packing, but eventually we were off...but not before taking a little detour through a nearby neighborhood to see their amazing lights.  Almost every house decorates, and they even sell hot cocoa and popcorn!  The lights were awesome. 

We got to Craig's parents' house pretty late, but Jacob went back down without a problem and we spent the next morning lazily getting ready for a busy afternoon and evening.  We headed out to Craig's parents' church for Christmas Eve mass, and Jacob was actually pretty good for it!  After that we were off to Craig's aunt's house for the annual Christmas gathering with his extended family.  We ate, Jacob opened a few presents (including the Captain America shield he's been eyeing up and trying on at every department store we've entered for the last few months), and then it was time to head back to Craig's brother's house for our exchange with the immediate family.  The stream of superhero presents continued... 

Captain America mask to go with his shield!

Batman undies...for Daddy!

 He also got a Batman and Batmobile, as well as a bunch of crafty things we'll hopefully play with this week.  He got a couple pairs of PJs and a Captain America t-shirt.  And here are the boys after the gift rush...

Captain America (and other superheroes) PJs!

Everyone seemed to like their gifts a lot, too, so that was great.  The boys played a bunch with their toys (Grant got a Batcave too!) and there were only minimal sharing issues before the kids headed up to bed prior to Santa's arrival.  Jacob even got a little solo playtime before we were ready to head back to Craig's parents' house.  All in all, it was a good (albeit late) night.

Christmas morning Jacob slept in until 9am (good, but bad because we couldn't make it to church with my parents, which would have been nice).  We got ready, packed up, and headed off to my parents'.  It was a much lower key Christmas day than usual, but we had a nice, quiet Christmas dinner with just the five of us.  Jacob opened up presents before and after we ate.  This one was a hit! 

The Jokermobile actually elicited a squeal!

Excited to get the Riddler and his car!

Other than three villains to go with his Batcave, Jacob got a bunch of Lego-themed books and a Viewmaster!  After a nap, we headed to my uncle's house for the annual Binkley gift exchange and smorgasbord.  The adults did a Yankee swap-type exchange, and the kids got gifts from Santa.  Jacob got this awesome Melissa & Doug set where the little boy can be dressed in magnetic outfits, all of which were sports uniforms!  He loved it!

Studying the options...

Anyway, it was really a nice weekend with a good mix of family time and down time.  I ate (and even drank!) a little too much, but it was such a fun time.  Another successful Christmas in the books, and hopefully a fun week to go!

Christmas' Cast Members

Now that Jacob is getting old enough to understand Christmas, there are so many more elements that play into how we approach the season.  I have known for the last three Christmases (holy cow, Jacob's fourth!), it's all been a lot of practice.  I've been trying to get better at this "parent-at-Christmas" thing before it became a big deal that could make or break the holiday for my little boy.  From start to finish, Christmas is jammed packed with things to get right.  There are traditions leading up to the day, and one major amazing day (or two) at the very end.  I'd probably panic more about doing the million little traditions if I wasn't already so busy shopping, baking, wrapping, and celebrating.  But in the grand scheme of things, the culmination of the holiday on Christmas Eve/Day seems to, by far, overshadow anything that leads up to it.  We all have memories of advent traditions, special craft projects, and Christmas programs and pageants, but doesn't the thrill of Christmas morning beat it all?

But regardless of everything else, you really want to get Christmas right when it comes to your child.  You want to make sure that you give them just the right amount of tradition, and that you create the magic that you had as a kid.  If you read too much in the blogosphere, your mind will spin from the various takes on the Christmas season presented by any number of parent bloggers.  Traditions, theories on Santa, and every craft project known to mankind can really make you think twice about how you're spending your holiday. 

More than anything this year I've been thinking about Santa and the Elf on the Shelf.  In case you're unaware, the Elf on the Shelf is a big thing now, involving a book and a creepy little elf doll that costs somewhere around $30.  I've never read the book, but the basic story is that the elf comes into your house, keeps an eye on the kids, and flies back to the North Pole at night to report back to Santa.  Presumably this makes keeping the naughty and nice lists updated much easier.  The parental secret to the whole thing is that each night (or early morning), the parents must move the elf to a new location in the house so the kids think that he flew back to the North Pole and landed in a new spot in the house upon his return.  It's a big deal the next morning for kids to find their elf's new spot.  Here's a picture of the elf at John and Kristin's home, from my trip to Portland...

I made him look a little creepier than usual by using my fish-eye setting to emphasize his head...but yeah, that's him.

Some parents have a blast with it, judging by various blog posts and Facebook photos showing the elf in fun and/or precarious positions.  I've seen a couple making snow angels in flour, one straightening the star on a tree, and numerous adult-themed ones involving alcohol and its after-effects.  On the other hand, some parents forget to move the elf regularly and blog about making up stories about why it's still sitting in the same spot.  The ultimate reward, however, is that every time their kids are being bad, they simply point to the elf and poof!  Perfect kids.  Maybe. 

On one hand I think this is a super cute tradition.  I think I'd have fun thinking of places for the elf to land (though I think I would lose my creativity quickly) and if we had time in the morning for a game of hide-and-seek, I think Jacob would love looking until he found him.  However, I'm not sure I want to add the elf to my arsenal.  I mean, I'm not sure what's wrong with just using Santa as a good behavior incentive, and that's free.  I'm just not sure we need the elf doing Santa's dirty work, too.  If it's the visual impact of it, I did read somewhere to tell your kids that smoke detectors are Santa cams (though presumably make sure your kids understand their dual purpose first).  I have an inkling that some parents might use the elf for evil, and perhaps I'm worried I might be one of them.  I try not to bust out the Santa threats too often (though admittedly, I "called" him twice the other day!), but sometimes you just have to.  It's probably manipulative and an easy crutch, since we should be encouraging good behavior for reasons other than losing Christmas presents, but hey, it's the one time of year that parents can take advantage and get a bit of a break.  It just won't have the same impact after the presents have been delivered, so get it in now.  Long story short, part of me really wants to do the elf thing, but I need a couple things to happen beforehand: 1) The price needs to drop a LOT...or we need to get the book from the library and find a cheaper version of the elf; 2) I need to get to a place where I wouldn't rely on it as a crutch, and just enjoy it more as a fun holiday tradition. 

As for Santa...well...there are a lot of people that think encouraging your kids to believe in Santa is like telling them a giant lie.  Just the other day I read that Justin Bieberthis route, however.  Because truly, even if St. Nick doesn't deliver presents to good little boys and girls, we as parents take that role so his spirit lives on.  I mean, no other time of year will I spend money like I do right now, so it has to be the spirit of St. Nick taking over, right? 

Interestingly, there was one question Jacob had about Santa already that I couldn't even answer.  He was rattling on one night about all of the gifts he wanted, and I told him how lucky he was already to have the toys he has.  I told him that some kids don't get any toys at Christmas because their families don't have any money to buy them.  To which he responded, "Doesn't Santa bring them presents?"  Shoooot.  Smart kid I have, eh?  I was stumped, and then finally revised and said that they may get one or two from Santa, but that's it.  It did sort of put the whole Santa thing into perspective, that it certainly sets things up for some confusion as to inequality, etc.  I did read somewhere that someone told their kids that Santa may bring the toys, but the parents still have to pay for them, which may be a good out for that one.

So, for now we'll do without the elf but keep Santa in the mix.  I think it's fun to see the holiday through Jacob's eyes, and this is the purest way to do it.  He'll learn the truth soon enough, and I want to enjoy this time while we can. 

The final character of Christmas is, of course, Jesus. He's the most important, yet he's probably the least understood by a three year old.   Santa is everywhere, and the Elf is something he could see and understand...but Jesus?  Well, he knows bits and pieces.  Let's just say the whole story of Jesus isn't the simplest of stories to present to someone his age.  You can try to simplify, but ultimately it's a hard one to describe.  I mean, this time of year Jesus is a baby, and in the spring he's a grownup dying on a cross?  And then he comes back to life?  Why don't other dead people come back to life?  Jacob keeps asking about baby Jesus' lack of shoes and whether "he's a baby yet".  "Not until Christmas," I say.  I did shell out a few bucks this year to buy Jacob the Little People Nativity set, because I thought it would be nice to have one he could play with, and eventually we can recount the Christmas story together with tangible figures to help him understand.  I'm waiting on our delivery of the shepherd addition, which I think is important since the shepherds' encounter with the angels, and later the Christ child, is a huge part of the story.  Anyway, Jacob knows some of the bits and pieces, but keeping it extra simple at this stage is a challenge.  I certainly want him to know what's most important, but getting past the presents is going to be a longstanding challenge.  When I was a kid we spent Christmas at church--two services Christmas Eve, one Christmas Day, whereas we're lucky to get to one thanks to our crazy schedule.  I couldn't really avoid it as a kid (particularly since I went to a Christian school and spent most of December practicing for one program or another), but Jacob's around it a bit less.  I do hope that someday we send him to a Christian school so he can celebrate the true meaning of Christmas full time, without hesitation, but the elements factoring into that decision will fill another blog post at another time. 

Anyway, the craziness is about to start and I won't lie--I'm excited.  I always take a deep breath right around this time, knowing that the next few days will be an amazing whirlwind of emotions, sleep deprivation, family, and wrapping paper.  It's truly an awesome experience but it is not for the faint of heart!  And with that, it's time to get what little sleep I can before it all begins...stay tuned :)

42 Months

So, today Jacob officially turns 3-1/2.  I feel like I've been calling him 3-1/2 for a while now, but now it's official.  We're halfway through the age of three and headed toward four.  Holy cow.  My baby isn't a baby anymore, as he so often reminds me...and to which I respond that he will always be "my baby".  Yup, already setting up to me that mother-in-law.  Sorry.

Truthfully, I can't imagine how I'll feel when he's legitimately grown up.  Will he still be my baby when he towers over me?  Will I still long to snuggle him on the couch, or will the weirdness of that overpower the urge?  Or will I just be over it, no weirdness necessary?  Or, God forbid, he'll make me so crazy that I'll feel like I barely know him and could never have given birth to him.  Again, God forbid.  I'd like to think that if we made it through the terrible twos, we can make it through anything, but I know that the problems only get bigger and more complex from here. 

But for now, we're in a pretty good spot.  We still have a lot of moments where the selective listening, direct defiance, painful whinyness, and oblivious goofiness when we least need it make us a bit crazy.  But things are getting better.  Jacob is getting to be such a little person.  I think Craig is in all his glory, reliving his youth as Jacob gets into superheroes and Legos.  And, of course, the whole sports thing.  On the other hand, I'm trying to embrace the superheroes and figure out how to accept that they will be part of our world for the next few years.  It's only the beginning, I'm sure.  But when I consider that Jacob is finally getting to a point where he will sit still, hang out, cuddle, and have a normal conversation, superhero everything is a small price to pay.  To watch his little brain work, to see him put things together and make sense of his world, is such an amazing thing.  Up until now, most signs of independence he showed were unwelcome...otherwise known as defiance.  But now we see him do things on his own--get dressed, use the potty, walk into his classroom alone, learn songs--and this kind of independence is pretty awesome.

He's so full of life. He runs, dances, makes up silly words, and pretty much doesn't stop until bedtime. He changes his "uniform" every few minutes. He's passionate about his stuffed animals, his sports, and his superheroes. He's got an infectious giggle, and actually asks to be tickled to let it out. He's exhausting but enchanting, and while there are moments that we'd like things to be a little easier, we are beyond grateful to have him for our son. And today, three and a half years after he entered our world, we're beyond blessed to have him.