Well, Jacob seems to be doing much better these days. His mood has improved greatly, although he's definitely still a little moody at times. He'll still flip out over going in his carseat or when we lay him on his changing table to get dressed...from a good mood to screaming in two seconds. Ugh. But when he's legitimately happy, you can definitely tell the difference that health makes. I'll even go out on a limb and say I haven't heard much coughing lately. As routine as the coughing became, I still cringed every time I heard it, and I don't recall cringing lately. Even still, once a day or so is better than periodic coughing fits, so hopefully that means that the medications are working. He had some sleeping issues three nights in a row, where he'd wake up crying around 2 or 3am, and as long as we rubbed his back he quieted down...but the second we'd stop, he'd be right back at it. He'd almost always seem to be half asleep, without any visible clue about what was wrong. Usually if he's teething he'll be chewing on his hands, or if he's in pain he'll arch his back and scream bloody murder. But all three nights, he just went between a whine and a cry, mostly with his eyes closed. We took turns but eventually we needed to sleep so he slept on one of us for at least a while the first two nights. The third night I said that we had to stop that practice, because that was a bad habit to get into. Once in a while is one thing...repeatedly, that's a problem. It took a while but he did get back to sleep. Last night he was only up for about 10 minutes...much better. Tonight he woke up about an hour after he went to sleep. We let him cry for a bit to see if he'd calm down. He didn't, but a little rocking got him back to sleep again...for now, anyway. I'm hoping it's just a phase.
The sleeping problems made it a bit of an up-and-down weekend. Friday through early Sunday was pretty good...Jacob was great, and we had a good time hanging out, napping, and doing some running around. We even went to the Knighthawks game. Things were ok until Sunday evening, when he got a bit fussier, and that got frustrating. It's one thing when you know they're sick...and it's another when they're seemingly fine and you have no idea what's triggering the crankiness. One of my current theories (including the nighttime problems) is gas. I have no idea why all of a sudden it would be an issue again, but considering his poop changed consistency completely practically overnight a while back (despite not changing his diet during that time), nothing would surprise me.
But the overriding issue for a while has been his eating. He's just not doing very well...and the trouble lies more with breastfeeding and bottles than it does solids. He's been cutting off his feedings early...both with me and when he's bottle-fed at day care. He'll cut off quite early and cry, but if I stand him back up or let him play, he's fine. Sometimes I think it could be the acid reflux, but that should be under control based on all of his medication, and the reduced coughing would indicate it's working...and even if I try to feed him sitting up, he doesn't want to do it. Then I think he's just too eager to go play. He's trying to crawl and pull up and get all over the place these days, and part of me thinks he just doesn't want to bother wasting time eating. He gets a little to drink, enough to calm any hunger pangs, and then can think of nothing else besides practicing his stuff. That's all I can figure. It's worrying me a bit, because it is having a bit of an effect on my milk supply and I'm not quite ready to wean yet. It was bad enough that he was losing weight from not eating when he was sick, but God forbid we go back to the doctor again sometime soon and he's plateaued for any significant period of time. I don't want people thinking I'm not feeding him enough, nor do I want him to have any complications from not getting adequate nutrition. I guess before I freak out I'll give it a little time in case it's just a phase, and see how things look in a couple weeks. If it's still a problem, we'll call the doctor.
While many people would probably say to feed him more solids to compensate, there are two issues with that...first, I'm not sure he'd eat more. While he is eating, I think it would be pushing it to do more. He's still been a little fussy in the high chair so it's been a challenge for him to finish what he has. Second, they say that breast milk/formula is really a baby's main source of nutrition for at least the first year. And if that's the problem, filling his stomach with more solid food is only going to make him want to drink less. So, I'm feeling a little stuck. I keep hoping it is just a phase and he'll get out of it soon when he realizes he's hungry and needs more calories to support his active lifestyle :)
On the food and drink front, Jacob continues to like what we give him. Even if he's not one of those feed-me-now-before-I-freak-out-waiting babies, he still seems to like whatever he's getting. Tonight we tried his second meat, some pureed turkey and gravy from the jar. I mixed it a bit with his green beans and cereal, and he seemed to like it. I will keep working on that in the evenings until that jar is gone, and then I have a couple stage 2 jars to try--turkey and sweet potatoes and chicken and apples. I really want to give him some variety but am finding it difficult because so many baby foods now have citrus or tomatoes (some meat/pasta types), and both are a little acidic considering Jacob's reflux issues. Others have berries, which are supposed to be a little allergenic for babies. Go figure. I could just puree our food, but that's just weird to me. I did try the frozen mixed veggies again yesterday, and he seemed to do much better this time around. No renegade carrot bit popping out of his mouth 10 minutes later this time. We also started Cheerios a few days ago. He hasn't quite figured out how to get them up to his mouth, but will happily take them if we feed them to him. Cheerios got us through church on Sunday, actually. Between feeding them to him, letting him dig around in the little container they were in, and letting him shake the container (it's a nice muffled version of a rattle), he was well-occupied for the entire hour. No wonder they've been a church staple for generations!
Still no progress on the sippy cup. I keep trying, and so does day care, but he doesn't seem to want to suck on it. He likes to chew it or bang it around. He does like drinking out of a real cup, though. He's not very good at it yet, since a lot dribbles down his chin and I have to hold it for him, but he seems sort of obsessed with it when it's sitting there. My next steps will be to buy a couple other varieties of them--one with a really soft spout that's supposed to be a perfect transition, and maybe one with a straw. You never know what he will take to. And if he's starting to wean himself off of the breast and/or bottle, then we might really need to get working on this.
The roller coaster ride is tough, but I'm hoping it's just a growth spurt or some other short term issue, and he'll be his normal happy self soon. I'm happy he seems to be feeling better, but now more than ever I wish I could read his mind...
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Worrying never gets you anywhere...
...but that doesn't seem to stop it from happening. I think that tends to be a parent's part time job, no matter how hard we try to stop it. I sometimes beat myself up when I screw up something (like accidentally leaving the car seat in my car the day Craig was supposed to pick Jacob up. Oops. No workout for me. :( ), but I know that a lot of that stuff happens because I have a million things on my mind every day...from the big stuff down to the minute details. And sometimes one will drown out the other. My whole life tends to revolve around timing things out...this much time since his last feeding...he needs his meds this long before the next feeding...he's been nursing on this side for this long...if we do this, this and this, it should time out just right for bedtime...etc. From making sure Jacob has enough clean clothes, food and medicine to hoping he's getting enough sleep, playtime and other experiences, there's a lot of stuff that flows through my brain in the average day...and that's not even getting into the rest of the stuff pertaining to the other elements of my life that flows through as well. I've tended to filter a lot out...things that I used to think about or do a lot are no longer at the forefront of my mind...hence the reason I hardly watch hockey anymore, haven't had a haircut since before Christmas, and haven't bought myself many new clothes since Jacob was born. I just don't have the time or the focus. I know eventually things will balance out, and that will be great. It may still be busy and I will still be preoccupied, but eventually this will become the norm and I will just deal.
In the meantime, I still have a million things that go through my mind and keep me wondering if we're doing everything we can to give Jacob a good life and the best start possible. He's generally happy so I think in many ways we're fine. My concerns tend to be in a couple different categories. First, I'm worried that I'm too structured and eventually that structure will be holding him back. For example, our living room has a handful of potentially breakable things sitting around...picture frames, candles, etc...and I hate the thought of having to move them, but I also don't want them broken. I'm stuck somewhere between doing my darndest to teach Jacob not to touch stuff, and being a realist and knowing he probably will anyway and knowing how mad I'd be if he broke something. I know I just need to let go, either of my stuff or my pleasantly decorated living room, just so I can let him have fun in the living room learning to crawl and walk. Same goes for eating. I know eventually he'll have to learn how to feed himself, and it will be a messy process...so I'm dreading it. I hate stain removal. I did buy some neat full coverage bibs at IKEA, but I'm not sure even those will take care of the mess. I really should have gotten two sets of two so I could send a set to daycare! It's going to be a challenge for me to let go and let him learn.
My other issue is that I never think he's ready for stuff, when he's probably fully capable. I started him late on solids, and put off things like sippy cups and table food probably longer than I should have. In many cases I wonder how he would have been if we started things earlier...would he have picked it up earlier? Or would he have fumbled through for longer and still picked it up at the same time? We may never know. I hadn't rushed into the sippy cup because for the longest time he didn't even hold his own bottle...and really, he still rarely does when I give him one. He will do it at day care, though. That alone worries me a bit, that I'm an enabler...already letting him get away with not holding it, even though I know he can (but he doesn't always get it up high enough to keep the nipple full, and I don't want him sucking air and giving himself gas...ahhh, control issues.). But even once I knew he could hold it, I didn't rush to the sippy cup because I didn't feel like he needed to use one. But then I realized he was almost nine months old, which is plenty old enough to start working in that direction. Then he got constipated and needed to drink juice, and they always recommend against putting juice in bottles, so I was sort of kicking myself for not starting the sippy cup sooner. I tend to wonder about the timing of introducing new foods and new toys. I want things to be age-appropriate and do whatever I can to keep moving him along developmentally, but sometimes I wonder if I underestimate him. I don't read to him nearly as much as I'd like, mostly because his attention span doesn't seem very long when we sit down to do it. It seems like he doesn't get much out of it, despite what you read about how important reading is to language development. But then I sit and wonder if my lack of reading is the reason he's not babbling syllables yet. I mentioned in my post yesterday that I want to get a zoo membership this summer. There are times that I wonder, though, if he's ready for that. He doesn't seem to really fixate on much yet, so will he really see the animals and enjoy it? Or have we just not provided him with stuff worth fixating on, and given the opportunity to see something that cool, he'll just eat it up? Is there a problem with laziness/creativity/exhaustion, where we don't turn off the TV and think outside the box to provide him with the best stimulation possible?
It just seems like I second guess everything. I don't want to baby him as he gets older, but I don't want to rush him, either. It's probably a good thing I don't have extended exposure to parents of other kids his age, because I'd probably obsess even more comparing him to other kids...even though I know not all kids are the same. I don't want to be one of those crazy, high-pressure parents, but I also want him to excel in whatever he does. And I end up thinking about this stuff all the time. I try not to make myself nuts, but on the rough days I just end up making it rougher. Perhaps I've had too much worrying to do in the midst of his recent illnesses...that all of the sick time has set him back and now he's got to hurry up and catch up...and it all compounds because I'm already stressed about the illnesses themselves. But then I have a day like today, where other than one rough feeding period, he was awesome...and I just enjoy him so much that the worrying takes a backseat. And that's awesome. On days like today, it doesn't matter that the younger kids at daycare seem to move ahead of him on things...today he was just my amazingly sweet little boy, and that was all that mattered.
Finding the balance is tough, and I'm sure it will continue on forever. I still remember when I told my parents that I wanted to get an internship with the Amerks when I was in college. Initially they said no, because the thought of me having a car and driving into downtown Rochester scared the crap out of them. Their little girl, not a great driver...just didn't seem wise. But eventually they relented and it turned out to be a major turning point of my life. Not only did I get some great and much-needed driving experience, but that internship led to my first job and introduced me to my future husband. So having been through an experience like that, it weighs on my mind how we will balance Jacob's world...from keeping our little boy within a world that's safe and age-appropriate, while also giving him the freedom to spread his wings and push himself a bit. The situations may change over the years, but the challenge will remain the same. Wish us luck!
In the meantime, I still have a million things that go through my mind and keep me wondering if we're doing everything we can to give Jacob a good life and the best start possible. He's generally happy so I think in many ways we're fine. My concerns tend to be in a couple different categories. First, I'm worried that I'm too structured and eventually that structure will be holding him back. For example, our living room has a handful of potentially breakable things sitting around...picture frames, candles, etc...and I hate the thought of having to move them, but I also don't want them broken. I'm stuck somewhere between doing my darndest to teach Jacob not to touch stuff, and being a realist and knowing he probably will anyway and knowing how mad I'd be if he broke something. I know I just need to let go, either of my stuff or my pleasantly decorated living room, just so I can let him have fun in the living room learning to crawl and walk. Same goes for eating. I know eventually he'll have to learn how to feed himself, and it will be a messy process...so I'm dreading it. I hate stain removal. I did buy some neat full coverage bibs at IKEA, but I'm not sure even those will take care of the mess. I really should have gotten two sets of two so I could send a set to daycare! It's going to be a challenge for me to let go and let him learn.
My other issue is that I never think he's ready for stuff, when he's probably fully capable. I started him late on solids, and put off things like sippy cups and table food probably longer than I should have. In many cases I wonder how he would have been if we started things earlier...would he have picked it up earlier? Or would he have fumbled through for longer and still picked it up at the same time? We may never know. I hadn't rushed into the sippy cup because for the longest time he didn't even hold his own bottle...and really, he still rarely does when I give him one. He will do it at day care, though. That alone worries me a bit, that I'm an enabler...already letting him get away with not holding it, even though I know he can (but he doesn't always get it up high enough to keep the nipple full, and I don't want him sucking air and giving himself gas...ahhh, control issues.). But even once I knew he could hold it, I didn't rush to the sippy cup because I didn't feel like he needed to use one. But then I realized he was almost nine months old, which is plenty old enough to start working in that direction. Then he got constipated and needed to drink juice, and they always recommend against putting juice in bottles, so I was sort of kicking myself for not starting the sippy cup sooner. I tend to wonder about the timing of introducing new foods and new toys. I want things to be age-appropriate and do whatever I can to keep moving him along developmentally, but sometimes I wonder if I underestimate him. I don't read to him nearly as much as I'd like, mostly because his attention span doesn't seem very long when we sit down to do it. It seems like he doesn't get much out of it, despite what you read about how important reading is to language development. But then I sit and wonder if my lack of reading is the reason he's not babbling syllables yet. I mentioned in my post yesterday that I want to get a zoo membership this summer. There are times that I wonder, though, if he's ready for that. He doesn't seem to really fixate on much yet, so will he really see the animals and enjoy it? Or have we just not provided him with stuff worth fixating on, and given the opportunity to see something that cool, he'll just eat it up? Is there a problem with laziness/creativity/exhaustion, where we don't turn off the TV and think outside the box to provide him with the best stimulation possible?
It just seems like I second guess everything. I don't want to baby him as he gets older, but I don't want to rush him, either. It's probably a good thing I don't have extended exposure to parents of other kids his age, because I'd probably obsess even more comparing him to other kids...even though I know not all kids are the same. I don't want to be one of those crazy, high-pressure parents, but I also want him to excel in whatever he does. And I end up thinking about this stuff all the time. I try not to make myself nuts, but on the rough days I just end up making it rougher. Perhaps I've had too much worrying to do in the midst of his recent illnesses...that all of the sick time has set him back and now he's got to hurry up and catch up...and it all compounds because I'm already stressed about the illnesses themselves. But then I have a day like today, where other than one rough feeding period, he was awesome...and I just enjoy him so much that the worrying takes a backseat. And that's awesome. On days like today, it doesn't matter that the younger kids at daycare seem to move ahead of him on things...today he was just my amazingly sweet little boy, and that was all that mattered.
Finding the balance is tough, and I'm sure it will continue on forever. I still remember when I told my parents that I wanted to get an internship with the Amerks when I was in college. Initially they said no, because the thought of me having a car and driving into downtown Rochester scared the crap out of them. Their little girl, not a great driver...just didn't seem wise. But eventually they relented and it turned out to be a major turning point of my life. Not only did I get some great and much-needed driving experience, but that internship led to my first job and introduced me to my future husband. So having been through an experience like that, it weighs on my mind how we will balance Jacob's world...from keeping our little boy within a world that's safe and age-appropriate, while also giving him the freedom to spread his wings and push himself a bit. The situations may change over the years, but the challenge will remain the same. Wish us luck!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Spring...
I felt compelled to write up a little something for our company's spring newsletter, because there's never very many submissions from our office and I haven't done it in a while. We can really write about anything...why we like spring, any spring plans, spring recipes, etc. I decided to a little mini-essay about why I'm looking forward to spring, as it relates to Jacob. I figured it was a good fit to post here as well:
I am looking forward to spring because it will be my first real chance to get out into the world with my baby! Jacob was born June 20, 2008, so I spent most of last summer close to home. I was a little intimidated by going anywhere for too long, lest we have any baby-related "situations" that we were ill-equipped to handle! Now that Jacob is nine months old, my husband Craig and I are a little more comfortable with parenthood and are looking forward to showing Jacob a good time.
We've spent all winter battling to bundle him up, and can't wait to ditch the winter coat and mittens...one less battle to fight every morning! I'm also looking forward to having him less covered up in general. Baby body parts are so cute...little feet, chubby thighs, cute little belly...and I miss seeing them when he's covered in clothes from head to toe when we're just chilling at home (no pun intended) in our cold house all winter. Last summer Jacob didn't do much except eat, sleep and cry, but right now he's working on crawling and will be walking before we know it. I can't wait to let him play in the grass and experience flowers and leaves for the first time. We live around the corner from a playground, and I have been looking forward to taking him there since before he was born! It will be fun to be a kid again, swinging on the swings and going down the slide! We're also planning on getting a membership to the Seneca Park Zoo here in Rochester so we can go see the animals whenever we want. He's just getting to the age where he'll be fascinated by the animals that put on a good show!
Spring will be a great time to do all of these things, before it gets too hot and humid. Once that happens we'll be heading off for Jacob's first swimming experience at his grandparents' pool in Buffalo! But by then it'll almost be time for another first--his first birthday--on the last official day of spring! How time flies...last spring was pretty busy with all of the baby preparations, but hopefully this year we can savor every minute!
I am looking forward to spring because it will be my first real chance to get out into the world with my baby! Jacob was born June 20, 2008, so I spent most of last summer close to home. I was a little intimidated by going anywhere for too long, lest we have any baby-related "situations" that we were ill-equipped to handle! Now that Jacob is nine months old, my husband Craig and I are a little more comfortable with parenthood and are looking forward to showing Jacob a good time.
We've spent all winter battling to bundle him up, and can't wait to ditch the winter coat and mittens...one less battle to fight every morning! I'm also looking forward to having him less covered up in general. Baby body parts are so cute...little feet, chubby thighs, cute little belly...and I miss seeing them when he's covered in clothes from head to toe when we're just chilling at home (no pun intended) in our cold house all winter. Last summer Jacob didn't do much except eat, sleep and cry, but right now he's working on crawling and will be walking before we know it. I can't wait to let him play in the grass and experience flowers and leaves for the first time. We live around the corner from a playground, and I have been looking forward to taking him there since before he was born! It will be fun to be a kid again, swinging on the swings and going down the slide! We're also planning on getting a membership to the Seneca Park Zoo here in Rochester so we can go see the animals whenever we want. He's just getting to the age where he'll be fascinated by the animals that put on a good show!
Spring will be a great time to do all of these things, before it gets too hot and humid. Once that happens we'll be heading off for Jacob's first swimming experience at his grandparents' pool in Buffalo! But by then it'll almost be time for another first--his first birthday--on the last official day of spring! How time flies...last spring was pretty busy with all of the baby preparations, but hopefully this year we can savor every minute!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I had to ask...
It was meant to be a rhetorical question, but I got an answer to my question at the end of yesterday's post last night when we went to the doctor. They originally wanted to check him for strep when I called asking about the rash yesterday, but when we got there it was apparent to the doctor that it was roseola and no test was needed. From the fever to swollen glands in the back of his head (the doctor made me feel them...ewww) to the rash, it seemed pretty obvious. Easy enough...it's viral and there's nothing to do but wait. But then he looked in Jacob's ears. Double ear infection. Ugh. I got to look and see inside his ears, too. Interesting. There's a chance it's viral and related to the roseola, but at this point he figured it wasn't worth waiting around to find out, so we've added another medication to Jacob's cocktail of daily meds. I'm seriously starting to lose track. For the record....first thing in the morning he gets Reglan for his stomach. Ideally we should wait a half hour before eating, but the doctor said it was ok to eat right away for our convenience, because in the grand scheme of things it helped us stagger the doses more. He also gets his antibiotic (fruit flavor--where was that when we were kids?) in the morning, as well as his daily vitamin drops. If his cough is especially potent, he also gets nebulized. He gets two more doses of Reglan at day care, then his Prevacid (dissolving tablet) and one more dose of Reglan in the evening or right before bed, depending on his eating schedule. We'll add another dose of the antibiotic to that for the next nine days, too. Then he gets nebulized again before bed. Hopefully once he's over his immediate issues the cough will get a bit better and we won't have to do that twice a day.
So...Jacob was pretty cranky last night and right through to this morning. He slept crappy again, too. I know I can't blame him, but it's really frustrating. We're already short on sleep and none of the normal tricks seem to work. Then he won't eat. Then he fights like crazy through his medicines. It leaves you feeling like you can't do anything right. Again, I know he's uncomfortable and this all should be temporary, but in the meantime it's exhausting. Oh, and after all of his fussing this morning, what does he do? He flashes a big smile like nothing ever happened. Oy. Normally that's cute...but this morning, not so much. While I can't blame him for rebelling against the medicines, I'd have hoped he'd be used to it all by now and would just take it. Everything has color and inevitably drips out of his mouth onto his clothes, or gets him all sticky. I need three hands to give him his medicine--one to hold his hands, another to hold his head and pry open his mouth, and a third to actually give the medicine.
In the meantime, I'm also frustrated because we're back in a holding pattern. He lost weight since last week, so growth obviously isn't his forte right now. He's not eating well--milk or solids--and his crankiness means that now is not the time to try new things, like further practice with the sippy cup, or trying out Cheerios. He's also not big on playing right now, so he's probably not getting as much crawling practice as he had been.
I know that this, too, shall pass...but it's getting very old in the meantime.
So...Jacob was pretty cranky last night and right through to this morning. He slept crappy again, too. I know I can't blame him, but it's really frustrating. We're already short on sleep and none of the normal tricks seem to work. Then he won't eat. Then he fights like crazy through his medicines. It leaves you feeling like you can't do anything right. Again, I know he's uncomfortable and this all should be temporary, but in the meantime it's exhausting. Oh, and after all of his fussing this morning, what does he do? He flashes a big smile like nothing ever happened. Oy. Normally that's cute...but this morning, not so much. While I can't blame him for rebelling against the medicines, I'd have hoped he'd be used to it all by now and would just take it. Everything has color and inevitably drips out of his mouth onto his clothes, or gets him all sticky. I need three hands to give him his medicine--one to hold his hands, another to hold his head and pry open his mouth, and a third to actually give the medicine.
In the meantime, I'm also frustrated because we're back in a holding pattern. He lost weight since last week, so growth obviously isn't his forte right now. He's not eating well--milk or solids--and his crankiness means that now is not the time to try new things, like further practice with the sippy cup, or trying out Cheerios. He's also not big on playing right now, so he's probably not getting as much crawling practice as he had been.
I know that this, too, shall pass...but it's getting very old in the meantime.
Monday, March 23, 2009
When will it ever end?
Well, after Saturday's post, we got back to my parents and found out that Jacob had a rough day. He just slept a lot and wanted to be held. He was whimpering in bed and woke up a lot that night. I think I got 2-3 hours of sleep, max, and I don't think any of it except for the first hour or two was quality. His fever went up to about 103-104 in the middle of the night, and I gave him some Tylenol at that point and he eventually slept on Craig for a bit. The next time he woke up the fever was gone completely. It was like a miracle. He still wasn't his normal happy self yesterday, but he was okay. The biggest issue was eating...he was cutting off his feedings early and wasn't really interested in solids. Still, since the fever was gone I figured it was just sleep deprivation from the rough night, or holdover discomfort from the fever's dehydrating effects. We did a bit of running around yesterday and he really did pretty well with that...other than an insatiable desire to suck on the shopping cart at Target. Ugh.
Well...this morning I got a call from day care asking me if we had noticed a rash on him this morning. I hadn't, but I also wasn't the one getting him dressed this morning. Craig hadn't seen anything either, so apparently it just showed up. The doctor wants to check him for strep (scarlet fever, actually...third week in a row we're headed to the doctor, in case you're keeping track), but from everything I've read, I think it's roseola. I had come across roseola info when I was searching for "fever no symptoms" last Friday (Jacob seemed pretty good in the morning and went downhill during the day), but didn't really look into it. But when I was reading the symptoms and people's comments about it this morning, it sounded perfect. Sudden high fever, sticks around for 3-5 days, child seems to have few symptoms other than some crankiness, child likes to be held, a lot of moaning/whimpering, decreased appetite, fever goes away, and it all winds up with a rash a day or two later. The irritability seems to last through the 2-3 rash days, which would make yesterday and today's crankiness make sense. He's no longer contagious, if that's what it is, and other than looking pretty iffy and still not feeling 100% for the next couple days, he should be fine and should never get it again.
Seriously...how many more things can this poor kid get diagnosed with? :(
Well...this morning I got a call from day care asking me if we had noticed a rash on him this morning. I hadn't, but I also wasn't the one getting him dressed this morning. Craig hadn't seen anything either, so apparently it just showed up. The doctor wants to check him for strep (scarlet fever, actually...third week in a row we're headed to the doctor, in case you're keeping track), but from everything I've read, I think it's roseola. I had come across roseola info when I was searching for "fever no symptoms" last Friday (Jacob seemed pretty good in the morning and went downhill during the day), but didn't really look into it. But when I was reading the symptoms and people's comments about it this morning, it sounded perfect. Sudden high fever, sticks around for 3-5 days, child seems to have few symptoms other than some crankiness, child likes to be held, a lot of moaning/whimpering, decreased appetite, fever goes away, and it all winds up with a rash a day or two later. The irritability seems to last through the 2-3 rash days, which would make yesterday and today's crankiness make sense. He's no longer contagious, if that's what it is, and other than looking pretty iffy and still not feeling 100% for the next couple days, he should be fine and should never get it again.
Seriously...how many more things can this poor kid get diagnosed with? :(
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Toronto...a year later.
Today was a flashback to one of the more memorable days of my pregnancy. Craig and I headed up to Toronto for the Knighthawks-Rock game. We came up here last spring for a game as well, when I was rather pregnant. It was a pleasant spring day and I was loving my maternity clothes that day. The most memorable moment of the day was putting headphones on my body so Jacob could listen to daddy's play-by-play! I also couldn't help but "awwww" when the Knighthawks' backup goalie was taking pictures on the field after the game with his newborn son nestled in his lacrosse stick. We had lunch at our favorite restaurant (we figured it might be the last time for a while), wandered around the Hockey Hall of Fame store, and got our fill of Pizza Pizza (one of my favorites) before, during and after the game. Yum!
This time around, Jacob was supposed to come and we were going to sit in a suite with the Knighthawks staff. But when Jacob woke up with a fever yesterday, the whole trip was in jeopardy. It's so hard, because you want to be with and take care of your sick baby, but when you're looking forward to a fun day away, it's tough to give up that dream. No matter how much you love hanging out with your baby, a day of something different (with or without them) is always a nice change of pace. This morning Jacob woke up in a good mood but still with a fever of 100 degrees. But the good mood was promising, and he got a good nap on the way to N.T. We figured that if he stayed in a good mood, he'd be okay with Grandma and Grandpa for the day. If not, Craig could continue on to Toronto and I'd at least have my parents to keep us company for the day. The good mood held up (enough), and Craig and I were off to Toronto. Hopefully things are going okay without us. Jacob is getting into the "stranger danger" phase apparently, and it's been tough to leave the room, let alone to leave him with someone other than one of us or daycare. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but what can I say? It's nice to be loved!
It's been a fun day, though I miss Jacob a lot. As I alluded to in my post the other day, it's a tough call to leave him and miss out on the little time I do have with him, But sometimes it's nice to do something fun that hearkens back to the days before we had a baby. We stopped at IKEA on the way up. I picked up a pair of bibs with sleeves that will come in handy for when we start working on self-feeding. They're water-resistant, wipeable, and have a pocket to catch messes...all for $3 each (Canadian). I also bought something for Jacob's Easter basket--a rattle that's a stuffed bunny in a carrot car. So cute! I also want to get him a rubber ball with an Easter theme from Wegmans. I'll probably give him a couple eggs to bang together, too. Even better if I can tape something choke-proof (Cheerios?) inside to make them rattle! Knowing him, he'll like them the best!
The most interesting part of the trip was pumping in the press box. I knew I'd have to pump once today, so I brought my pump (thank goodness it's contained in an inconspicuous black bag) and the battery pack so I could pump anywhere. About 45 minutes before the game I locked the door to Craig's booth, moved into a corner, draped myself with my coat, and pumped. It actually went pretty smoothly. It helps that I can go about six hours now without getting uncomfortable. It's a far cry from the days where four hours left me in agony. I guess we're slowly but surely progressing toward weaning whether we like it or not...but that's another post for another day.
One interesting side note of today was seeing Toronto Nationals ads around the arena. The Nationals are, in essence, the Rattlers, Rochester's former outdoor lacrosse team. The Rattlers technically folded and Toronto is an expansion team, but they got many of Rochester's players thanks to territorial rules. Rochester won the championship last August but ran into some financial difficulties when ownership fell apart last fall. It was sad but the good news is that Craig won't be working those 12 games this summer. Jacob and I will be happy to have him, so we can go to family parties, summer festivals, the zoo, and whatever else all summer. I can't wait to have Craig around full time for the first summer since the year we started dating. And it'll be a nice excuse to finally bring Jacob on his first trip to Toronto!
It's been a fun day (despite the loss), but I will definitely feel better once we're back in N.T., sleeping in beds next to Jacob's crib. A day away is nice, but it always makes getting back to Jacob that much better!
This time around, Jacob was supposed to come and we were going to sit in a suite with the Knighthawks staff. But when Jacob woke up with a fever yesterday, the whole trip was in jeopardy. It's so hard, because you want to be with and take care of your sick baby, but when you're looking forward to a fun day away, it's tough to give up that dream. No matter how much you love hanging out with your baby, a day of something different (with or without them) is always a nice change of pace. This morning Jacob woke up in a good mood but still with a fever of 100 degrees. But the good mood was promising, and he got a good nap on the way to N.T. We figured that if he stayed in a good mood, he'd be okay with Grandma and Grandpa for the day. If not, Craig could continue on to Toronto and I'd at least have my parents to keep us company for the day. The good mood held up (enough), and Craig and I were off to Toronto. Hopefully things are going okay without us. Jacob is getting into the "stranger danger" phase apparently, and it's been tough to leave the room, let alone to leave him with someone other than one of us or daycare. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but what can I say? It's nice to be loved!
It's been a fun day, though I miss Jacob a lot. As I alluded to in my post the other day, it's a tough call to leave him and miss out on the little time I do have with him, But sometimes it's nice to do something fun that hearkens back to the days before we had a baby. We stopped at IKEA on the way up. I picked up a pair of bibs with sleeves that will come in handy for when we start working on self-feeding. They're water-resistant, wipeable, and have a pocket to catch messes...all for $3 each (Canadian). I also bought something for Jacob's Easter basket--a rattle that's a stuffed bunny in a carrot car. So cute! I also want to get him a rubber ball with an Easter theme from Wegmans. I'll probably give him a couple eggs to bang together, too. Even better if I can tape something choke-proof (Cheerios?) inside to make them rattle! Knowing him, he'll like them the best!
The most interesting part of the trip was pumping in the press box. I knew I'd have to pump once today, so I brought my pump (thank goodness it's contained in an inconspicuous black bag) and the battery pack so I could pump anywhere. About 45 minutes before the game I locked the door to Craig's booth, moved into a corner, draped myself with my coat, and pumped. It actually went pretty smoothly. It helps that I can go about six hours now without getting uncomfortable. It's a far cry from the days where four hours left me in agony. I guess we're slowly but surely progressing toward weaning whether we like it or not...but that's another post for another day.
One interesting side note of today was seeing Toronto Nationals ads around the arena. The Nationals are, in essence, the Rattlers, Rochester's former outdoor lacrosse team. The Rattlers technically folded and Toronto is an expansion team, but they got many of Rochester's players thanks to territorial rules. Rochester won the championship last August but ran into some financial difficulties when ownership fell apart last fall. It was sad but the good news is that Craig won't be working those 12 games this summer. Jacob and I will be happy to have him, so we can go to family parties, summer festivals, the zoo, and whatever else all summer. I can't wait to have Craig around full time for the first summer since the year we started dating. And it'll be a nice excuse to finally bring Jacob on his first trip to Toronto!
It's been a fun day (despite the loss), but I will definitely feel better once we're back in N.T., sleeping in beds next to Jacob's crib. A day away is nice, but it always makes getting back to Jacob that much better!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Nine months
Jacob is nine months old today. Hard to believe that he's been with us now for the same amount of time as I was pregnant...and I didn't even know I was pregnant for a month. It's pretty crazy. I was hoping to do a fun, happy post today for the occasion, some sort of looking back and getting nostalgic sort of thing, since I haven't done much of that lately, but honestly, it's been a rough day. I can't even really get my brain oriented in that sort of mode. Part of the problem is that I've been sick for a good chunk of the week--a cold with lots of congestion, and a bit of fatigue--and today it really seemed to catch up with me. Even though the congestion isn't as bad, I just feel really tired. That's never a good basis for the day. Then Jacob woke up with a fever. It was about 99 when I first took it, then it went up to 101-102ish, depending on which ear I took it in. Tylenol seemed to help, and he didn't have any other symptoms. He was happy and smiling and seemingly otherwise fine. He's always congested, so it's tough to pinpoint another cold or anything like that. He hadn't been pulling at his ears, and as of Monday his ears were fine, so an ear infection seems like only an outside possibility. Apparently over the course of the day he's gotten a little crankier and a little more clingy, but beyond that it's tough to tell. They said he was drooling and chewing on his hands like crazy, so it could be teething, but that's a pretty high fever for that. His fever went back up despite another dose of Tylenol, so of course that worries me a bit. The doctor said that if it goes for three days or anything gets worse, then we can take him in. Otherwise we just dress him lightly, push fluids, and wait it out. It may put a crimp in our fun plans to go up to Toronto for the weekend, unfortunately. We'll just have to see how he does, I guess. It's hard to just sit and wait, though, because there's always a concern that more is going on than meets the eye. I hate that he's not feeling good, and I hate even more that we keep having to deal with this stuff and he can't just be a healthy little boy for even a little while.
Of course, even worse was that I heard today that the almost-two month old baby of an acquaintance of mine (a classmate of my brother's from way back, our moms are close and we've run into each other at the cafeteria in her office building a couple times...and she randomly met Craig on a plane once) just passed away. They knew pretty early on that she was going to be born with Down Syndrome, but apparently she had a lot of other problems beyond that and she just couldn't overcome them. I can't even imagine what they're going through. To go from the joy of finding out they were pregnant, to the distress of the positive Down Syndome test, to bracing yourself for life with a disabled child, to dealing with all of the other issues they may not have anticipated, to finally losing her...such a roller coaster. If there's any bright side here (still quite dark, I'd imagine) I suppose it's a bit of a relief if only because she's not suffering anymore. They do have another daughter, and while the loss has to be difficult for all of them, I would have to think that she will have a more "normal" life because so much time and energy would have had to go into care for her sister. I'm sure that's little consolation, however. Losing a child is beyond horrible no matter what, and they were apparently well prepared to deal with whatever challenges came their way with this baby. It must be such an empty feeling...not just that they no longer have their child, but just the emotional downshift. I'm sure they spent a lot of time praying and preparing for the inevitable challenges of a Down Syndome baby, but I have a feeling that they weren't expecting the other problems they came up against...and even if it was a possibility, I think the tendency would be to assume you'd get through the immediate stuff and psyche yourself up for the long haul. And now, after much time in the NICU, where do they go next? How do you fill your time and mourn and move on? Do you just close the door to the baby's room and leave it as is? I can't even imagine. As I'm sure I've mentioned numerous times before on here, I can't even fathom losing Jacob and how empty I would feel. I think about how hard that week was when he was in the hospital, and can't even imagine extending that to two months with an even sicker baby to worry about. And to never be able to bring your baby home? Absolutely beyond my comprehension. It's heartbreaking. I think about how much every smile and laugh from Jacob brings joy into my life, and I don't know what I would do without that. Sometimes I'm not sure what would be worse--to experience that and lose it, or never get to experience it at all. Safe to say that neither of them is a good option. Ever.
So, with all of this floating around my head, I feel a bit stuck. Sad that Jacob's sick...again. Thankful that it's not something worse. Worried that it could be something worse and that in a flash everything could change. Such is life as a parent, I guess. I'm beyond grateful for Jacob's nine months and look forward to all of the milestones and experiences that lie ahead. He amazes me every day, and I feel so blessed to have him in my life.
Of course, even worse was that I heard today that the almost-two month old baby of an acquaintance of mine (a classmate of my brother's from way back, our moms are close and we've run into each other at the cafeteria in her office building a couple times...and she randomly met Craig on a plane once) just passed away. They knew pretty early on that she was going to be born with Down Syndrome, but apparently she had a lot of other problems beyond that and she just couldn't overcome them. I can't even imagine what they're going through. To go from the joy of finding out they were pregnant, to the distress of the positive Down Syndome test, to bracing yourself for life with a disabled child, to dealing with all of the other issues they may not have anticipated, to finally losing her...such a roller coaster. If there's any bright side here (still quite dark, I'd imagine) I suppose it's a bit of a relief if only because she's not suffering anymore. They do have another daughter, and while the loss has to be difficult for all of them, I would have to think that she will have a more "normal" life because so much time and energy would have had to go into care for her sister. I'm sure that's little consolation, however. Losing a child is beyond horrible no matter what, and they were apparently well prepared to deal with whatever challenges came their way with this baby. It must be such an empty feeling...not just that they no longer have their child, but just the emotional downshift. I'm sure they spent a lot of time praying and preparing for the inevitable challenges of a Down Syndome baby, but I have a feeling that they weren't expecting the other problems they came up against...and even if it was a possibility, I think the tendency would be to assume you'd get through the immediate stuff and psyche yourself up for the long haul. And now, after much time in the NICU, where do they go next? How do you fill your time and mourn and move on? Do you just close the door to the baby's room and leave it as is? I can't even imagine. As I'm sure I've mentioned numerous times before on here, I can't even fathom losing Jacob and how empty I would feel. I think about how hard that week was when he was in the hospital, and can't even imagine extending that to two months with an even sicker baby to worry about. And to never be able to bring your baby home? Absolutely beyond my comprehension. It's heartbreaking. I think about how much every smile and laugh from Jacob brings joy into my life, and I don't know what I would do without that. Sometimes I'm not sure what would be worse--to experience that and lose it, or never get to experience it at all. Safe to say that neither of them is a good option. Ever.
So, with all of this floating around my head, I feel a bit stuck. Sad that Jacob's sick...again. Thankful that it's not something worse. Worried that it could be something worse and that in a flash everything could change. Such is life as a parent, I guess. I'm beyond grateful for Jacob's nine months and look forward to all of the milestones and experiences that lie ahead. He amazes me every day, and I feel so blessed to have him in my life.
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