Tuesday, October 15, 2013
I can barely believe that Carter is eight months old! We're two-thirds of the way through his first year already. It has absolutely flown by. I have a hard time believing that it's already mid-October, seeing as how we were only a month and a half into the new year when Carter made his appearance, and life has been non-stop since. Seasons have come and gone, clothes have been outgrown, and one doctor's appointment after another (for both kids) have kept things moving at a brisk pace. I've been back to work for over six months already. Halloween is just two weeks away, and Christmas is coming quicker than I'd like to admit, judging by the Christmas trees on display at K-Mart yesterday when I stopped in for Halloween shopping (yep, I was that desperate).
The last few months have been some of the most stressful of my life, no doubt, and the fog I was in for so long contributed even more to the time warp. Going to Florida seems to have helped the fog dissipate, though we still have a long road ahead of us that I may just be in denial about. Gluten-free life is coming soon, and I'm officially starting to panic about Carter's chances of eating any sort of real birthday cake in four months. Dairy and rice are known question marks, so who knows what wheat (which, of course, Jacob won't be able to eat) might do. We'll know more in three weeks, I hope, or we'll at least be on the path to knowing more. It's comforting to know that he should outgrow this stuff at some point, but who knows what else we'll pick up along the way. The good news is that he's currently an absurdly happy kid, so I'm hoping that he'll just take everything in stride as he gets older.
Speaking of happy, I can't even begin to explain how happy he is. He's so smiley and even makes a lot of happy noises now. I'm not particularly fond of his one happy screech, but knowing he's happy makes me happy nonetheless. He takes such joy from seeing people, even his brother who completely ignores him. He makes people smile wherever he goes--church, restaurants, stores, daycare--and garners an awful lot of "Oh, he's so cute!" I don't know what it is about him, but it's uncanny. People just love him. I sometimes say that he must just have a "light" about him that just brightens people's days. Jacob was a cute and generally happy baby, too, and people loved his dimple, but I truly don't think I got the same reaction when he was this age. There is just something special about Carter.
The other night I was talking out loud to him, and I said something to him about him being the perfect baby for me. He's just such a good baby. We couldn't have asked for a better one given all that we've been through in the past couple months. I found my own statement ironic, though, considering how badly I wanted a girl. It was one year ago this Thursday that we found out he was a boy, and I'll admit, I was really sad. I still get sad once in a while, mostly when I think about how my boys are going to grow up and leave me (and probably turn me into that mother-in-law), but how a daughter would have had the potential to be a dear friend forever. But Carter has been such an amazing baby that I can't even complain. God knew exactly what kind of baby we needed, and he sent him. As much as I would have loved a girl, I know that Carter's arrival here was for a reason, and there's probably some other reason that I'm not meant to be the mom to a girl.
Eight months in, he brings me so much more joy than I could have imagined. I need it now, more than ever. While I love my kids equally, there's no doubt that right now Carter is the one that keeps me going through the worst of it. He is a godsend, literally. Happy eight months, sweet boy...