That's a new one...

I'll post more about this weekend soon, but I wanted to post a quick one to commemorate a funny "first" we had today.  And here I thought the fun milestones were all done...

Tonight we had a pretty horrible dinner experience with Jacob.  Yesterday he gave us trouble with meals all day and he woke up this morning very hungry.  Breakfast was ok and lunch actually went well today, but dinner was awful.  He wolfed down his main course (my special pierogies--Mrs. T's cooked my own special way), but wouldn't touch his side dishes, Stove Top and broccoli, both of which he normally eats fine.  I wasn't content to let him just hop down without eating them, so I drew a line in the sand and pretty much said we'd sit there until bedtime.  He freaked out for a while, complaining about one thing or another, and then finally seemed resigned to it and started eating.  I gave him the deal of only having to eat three more bites of broccoli and two more of the stuffing before he could get up, but no treats.  He didn't really like that since we had just come home from Wegmans with three small bags from the bulk department--jelly beans, malted robin eggs, and gummy bunnies.  So, the new deal was two bites of stuffing and ALL of his broccoli in exchange for some treats.  I settled on three jelly beans and a robin egg.  He had completely screamed his guts out for a good 15 minutes or more, so that was all he would get. 

As he sat there slowly but surely finishing his broccoli, he counted on his fingers, "one, two, three jelly beans...and one robin egg..." then came to the conclusion that that combination equaled four treats!  His first math problem!  Unprompted, uncoached, totally on his own.  He's a good counter, most of the time, but I was impressed that he put it together that the two groups could be combined into one total.  That was sort of cool to see the light bulb go on, and I was grateful to catch this random little milestone. 

Let's hope he's a brilliant mathematician someday, and this is where it all began. :)  (Of course, he did turn himself very blue while eating it, so he's got a little work to do in other areas...)

Once in a while I do something right...

Based on Jacob's behavior for, oh, the last two years, there are many moments when I doubt my parenting abilities.  Jacob's a pretty good kid for the most part, but there are times when I wonder what on earth we did to deserve a particularly difficult and ill-timed tantrum.  I wonder if we discipline too much or too little, or focus on the wrong stuff.  I wonder if we respond too rapidly to his freak-outs, or not quickly enough to make him feel cared for.  The parenting blogosphere can make you question things forever, because everyone has an opinion and every experience is different.  There are an infinite number of parent and child behavior/response combinations (in both directions, no less), so just because kid behavior + parent response = kid response in one scenario, it doesn't mean it'll work the same way in our house.  You just never know.  And just when you think you've figured it out, your kid enters a new developmental phase and you're back at square one.  Making it through these phases usually takes an intimate knowledge of your child and an abundance of creativity.  Getting those two things to work together, particularly at the right time, often takes a miracle.  And when it happens, it's nice.

Yesterday, I'm pretty sure I did something right.  I got a random call from daycare mid-afternoon.  I dread seeing those calls come in, because inevitably it's something negative.  Generally it's a sick or injured kid call, and neither of those things are particularly great...or at best, it makes you momentarily worry far more than was necessary.  On this particular day, the assistant director told me that Jacob was fine, that it wasn't an emergency...but Jacob certainly thought it was.  He was in hysterics on the other end because his beloved eagle/hawk, his stuffed Knighthawk birdie, had a hole in him.  Jacob was inconsolable and crying so hard I couldn't understand a word he was saying on the phone when she put him on to talk to me. 

When I posted this story on Facebook, most people expressed surprise that daycare couldn't handle this themselves.  Admittedly, I thought the same thing, but I also know my child and am well aware of his persistence.  The kid doesn't stop until he gets his way or you can convince him that there's another acceptable solution that skirts his plans just enough.  Perhaps they tried everything and he wouldn't calm down, or perhaps his freak-out was making his friends nervous and they figured a phone call might distract him.  Maybe they figured the pure logic of me saying that I couldn't come right then, but would be there at the end of the day and take the bird right home to fix him, would be enough. 

Well...after telling him repeatedly that I couldn't come just then but that we'd get him all fixed up, he was still inconsolable.  And then, it came to me.  When the assistant director came back on the phone, I suggested a band-aid.  The second she relayed my suggestion, Jacob smiled and laughed.  And that was that.  He was done crying and his bird was going to be fine.  Crisis averted.

I picked him up in the evening, got dinner started, and immediately started "surgery".  I peeled off the band-aid, threw a couple stitches around the hole, and the bird was good as new...or at least, good as he was a few hours earlier--well loved but hole-less. 

So, for one day, I know I at least had one good idea.  It averted a "crisis" and made my child happy.  Those days don't happen too often, so when they do, it's worth reporting.  And if you can't immortalize stuff like that on your blog, what good is it?  Once in a while, we all need proof that even once, something went right.

While spring had sprung...

A couple weeks ago, the weather changed.  All of a sudden we had over a week and a half of amazing weather.  It was more like summer than spring, all in mid-March.  St. Patrick's Day was around 70, and by mid-week it was close to 80.  The weather was outstanding, and it gave spring a head start around here.  Of course, the price we're probably going to pay for it is high produce prices, as freezing temps overnight will probably kill off a number of delicate fruit tree blossoms, but it's nice to see so much green this early, even if it was only in the 30s today.  Going back to this weather was more of a bummer than I expected, but at least we're at the time of year where the weather will do a lot of ups and downs and winter weather shouldn't stick around for long...although summer weather shouldn't have either, and it did.

Anyway, the nice weather was a godsend because Jacob has been dying to play outside for months.  He's getting bigger and stronger so it's getting harder to have him play sports in the house.  Most of the indoor playing his limited to our spare room now, where Jacob has a basketball hoop on the wall and his big hoop standing at the other end of the room.  He usually puts his little hockey nets up there for lacrosse and soccer, and periodically the boys will go up there and make a lot of noise for a few minutes while they play a "game".  I know at some point they're going to start doing some damage, so being able to send them outside is huge.  While he's out there, Jacob has been enjoying drawing with chalk, too.  It's been interesting watching his drawings take shape and see what he's thinking.

The other night I got him on his big wheel.  Last year he was just a tiny bit short for the pedals.  Knowing how crazy tall he's getting, I figured he'd have to reach the pedals this year.  He did, though he still wasn't completely clear on using them.  He sort of got it, but then when he had to pedal back up the driveway, he was having a harder time.  Here's my happy boy testing it out...

While he played, I marveled at the explosion of color in the flower bed.  Check out this cluster of daffodils!

I can't get over how things just sprang to life last week, from the grass to the trees to the flowers.  The weeds have already taken over, but at least we get some extra green ahead of time and we'll be able to start enjoying it now even though it's back to wintertime for a bit.  It boggles my mind to think about how early the season began this year, considering two years ago it was way early, too, and this year was earlier.  The downside, of course, is that now it's cold and we can't really go out there and enjoy the foliage.  Hopefully the cold preserves it a bit, though, so it hangs out until the weather improves. 

By Saturday the weather started returning to normal, and we headed off to the Knighthawks game.  I managed to get Jacob to smile enough to snap a few pictures of us.  I look like crap in this one, but he looks adorable...

And here's Jacob playing "wall ball".  This is all he really wants to do when we're at games these days.  He lives for this. 

Unfortunately, this round was short lived due to a potty stop, immediately followed by a bit of an accident.  In the wake of his ear infection, he was on a pretty powerful antibiotic, and despite our best efforts with lots of yogurt, Jacob was having some poop problems.  Unlike last time, it wasn't as soft, but it seemed like it came on suddenly and he had less control over it.  He had three accidents in one day last week, and the one at the game was a major bummer because I'm out of the habit of bringing spares.  We'd had a great day, really, but that sort of started things downhill and it seemed like a good idea to get out of there ASAP.  Earlier night than usual, but at least we got this in. 

Now we're back to the grind for another week.  I'm spending this week living for Easter weekend, when we have Good Friday off and will have some time to hang out with my family before spending time with Craig's family on Easter.  Easter is one of my favorite holidays just because spring is on the way and it's less hectic than Christmas, but it still has some fun traditions.  Just seven more work days...

Two years ago...

Two years ago today, on a sunny Friday afternoon, we closed on our new house.  It set off one of the craziest weekends of my life.  There was actually a good, solid week of insanity surrounding it...and that's being conservative.  I know I was nuts for a good couple months leading up to it, but the actual end of the packing and the move itself were overwhelming.  The aftermath wasn't particularly fun, either, but the exciting "newness" and being in a house we loved helped a lot with that part. 

I thought I was pacing okay on packing, and then the night before I totally panicked, even with my mom there to help.  Craig was working that night and the next day, which didn't help, and keeping Jacob occupied during waking hours was no picnic, either.  I knew that in the end it would all get done one way or another, but there's no denying that moving is incredibly stressful regardless.  I freaked out when my super-fragile boxes ended up on the moving truck, and probably swore up a storm while trying to take apart our giant desk while movers buzzed around me.  Jacob had a meltdown mid-morning, and I was barely capable of spending a precious few minutes with him to chill him out. 

I despise living out of boxes, hate all of the awkward, last minute stuff that can't really be boxed up, and abhor the post-move cleaning.  Once my stuff is gone, the last thing I want to do is clean up the remaining mess that was left behind.  I remember being practically in tears cleaning each of my old apartments (which needed to be considerably cleaner than a "broom-swept" house), knowing that I just wanted to be done and go start unpacking the pile of stuff in the new place.  Our last move was no exception.  A big difference was that someone else moved our stuff this time (well worth every penny, by the way), and yet I was still so stressed out by the end of the day that I refused the suggestion of our helpers (some members of my family) to leave the house for the night and come back in the morning.  No, I wanted to get it done NOW.  I wanted to be able to walk in the next day, do one last check, and leave the keys.  And so we did.

Two years later I think we're quite pleased with the decision.  Not having to worry about the many improvement projects we had lined up at the old house has been a godsend.  The thought of redoing the insulation, re-roofing, fixing up that ugly kitchen, replacing the ancient shed, or figuring out how to reorganize to cram another person into that house make me shudder.  Yes, we're paying a bit more each month, but I feel much better doing that knowing we're in a house that should fit us for years to come.  And what's better, we haven't been spending that money on endless stressful projects.  God forbid this post jinxes us, but in the two years we've been there, our emergency expenses have been minimal.  We do have to deal with the pool, of course, but not having a bunch of problems to worry about all the time has been nice.

I think the house fits us well.  The living room is perfect for Jacob, and I still love the soaring ceiling and the look of the fireplace, open stairs and landing.  The kitchen, despite being a little tight on floor space, has a ton of storage and plenty of natural light.  The bedroom sizes are much better than the old house.  The upstairs bath is a little small and probably the biggest downside, but we've made it work and IT'S NOT PURPLE.  The basement is turning into a solid alternate play area for Jacob (a.k.a., where the Legos live), and while the purchase of a laptop has left the office less used than expected, I'm still happy it's there.  And oh, the crawl space...how I love thee.  And no, it's not even close to full yet.  Perhaps I don't gush as much in my head as I should, but I do still love the house and feel lucky to live there.

In spite of the fact that I still drive by our old house periodically, I don't really miss it.  I miss the idea of it, perhaps, as the first house we ever owned and the one we brought Jacob home to.  Once in a while I miss some of the projects we did.  I miss the little things I did, like the entryway I retiled with Dollar Tree tiles or the bathroom border I did myself.  I miss a lot of what we did that's possibly nicer than we have now, like a new front door, garage door opener with motion sensor (so you're never in a dark garage), new hot water heater, new stationary tub.  I wish we would have gotten more use for our money with other things we did--windows, garage door, central air, glass block basement windows.  But ultimately, I don't really miss the house itself.  I have some good memories, and it will always be our first house.  But I know what we have now is better.

But now that we've been there for two years, I am really starting to amass a list of things I'd like to do.  First and foremost is the carpeting in our bedroom and Jacob's future room.  They desperately need to be replaced, and I'm having a bit of a mental hurdle figuring out how we'll deconstruct both rooms at the same time, considering we don't have a lot of room upstairs to move things...and I don't really want to carry it all downstairs!  I would like to replace the sink in the bathroom, as it is the same pain-in-the-butt-to-clean old-style sink we replaced in our old house before we moved.  I'd like to replace the light fixture in the dining room to something a little more modern (the brass just doesn't fit).  The front storm door is old and doesn't seem particularly childproof, so I'd like to replace that.  I'm really tempted to bring in a contractor to see how much it would cost to tear out the paneling in our basement.  It would update the space considerably and make it feel less like a basement...perhaps because I still have visions of our old 70s era basement, which was cool in its own way, but far from modern.  I think there's a chance there's already drywall behind the paneling, but even still, I have no idea what that might cost.  In my ultimate dreams I think about pulling down most of the wallpaper (kitchen and bathroom, mostly) and replacing it with something more my style--even if it's just updated paint.  Small parts of it are peeling or ripped, so at some point that may have to happen.  Most immediately, I can start small and refresh our landscaping mulch.

These projects were all the driving force behind the "discussion" Craig and I were sort-of having yesterday when Jacob sensed that I was going to yell at Craig.  When Craig works every weekend and needs a day to recover when he's not, it makes it hard to get a little support for things like this.  We'll get there, I hope, and I look forward to the day when the projects start making the house feel a little bit more like our own.  We're at home, of course, but instead of just feeling lucky we found a house we could live with as is, I want to live in a house that we made our own.

Uniquely Jacob

Jacob is a truly unique kid.  I suppose he's just like any other little boy out there, but there are moments I'm pretty sure he's one-of-a-kind. 

Take for example, the fact that he's been sleeping on the floor for a couple weeks now.  He did it for a while a couple months ago until we casually convinced him to move back to bed.  But then he started up again.  It sort of kills me to have his bed just sitting there next to him empty, but hey, as long as he's sleeping, I guess I can't say much.  It still seems weird and I can't help but wonder (in the overly obsessive ways only parents can) if it could cause any physical issues.  But so far it's fine, even if it leaves an inevitable mess on the floor since the animals rarely all make it back into the bed each day.  I figure at worst it will only last as long as it will take to get him into his own room someday, hopefully when he's got a sibling on the way.  He's got his crew of animals to keep him company and keep him somewhat corralled in his spot on the floor, and he often seems more willing to dive on that pile than he ever was to crawl into bed. 

I think he asks about a thousand questions a day.  It wears on you.  I'd probably not mind it quite as much if he didn't repeat the same questions over and over.  I haven't figured out why.  I can't tell if it's a test to see if he gets a different answer, or if he forgot the previous answer, or if there's something else going on.  He seems to remember things when pressed about knowing the answer, so maybe he just likes to hear himself and us talk.  The questions also aren't the easiest to answer, either.  I find myself torn between giving a three year old only the information he needs vs. possibly insulting his intelligence.  There are certainly concepts he's not going to understand, but I also think he's smarter than we sometimes give him credit for.  I try to talk to him like a big boy most of the time, since they say it enhances kids' vocabulary.  But try explaining for the tenth time why referees might wear watches during games but lacrosse players don't.  Or why criminals can't stick their arms out barred windows in jail.  Or why he's not allowed to wear shorts outside when it's cold but a whole bunch of idiots out in the world do it anyway.  Sometimes it's cute, and I want to try to answer everything honestly, but sometimes I know I'm being played and other times he gets downright cranky if I can't get him a good answer.  I don't want to beat down his inquisitiveness, since it's a good trait to have (once controlled, anyway), but there are times when it's like, can we just hold off on questions for a while while Mommy regains her sanity?

As I mentioned, his one teacher couldn't stop gushing during our parent-teacher conference about how smart he was.  And indeed, even in that time he's gotten even better with his letters and is constantly spelling things out when he sees a word somewhere.  A couple of his plates have words on them, and he's always asking what the letters are, then going through and spelling them.  He counts a lot now, too.  He still isn't fantastic at writing them, but they're working on it at daycare and I'm trying not to push it on him in the meantime.  Most of his drawings are still glorified scribbles, but some of them are starting to take on actual shape, even if it doesn't actually represent something.  He did do a chalk drawing the other day that he called a rocket, and it did have the right shape, but I don't know if he drew something like that once and was asked if it was a rocket, and took note.  Still, even if that was the case, he remembered and reproduced it. 

He's great at puzzles, though.  He got one as a friend's birthday treat (from the dollar store, along with a Spider-man watch--beats a bag of crap and candy!) that had 25 nice-sized pieces.  He did it in about five minutes or less.  He loves doing them at daycare and seems to pick up on it very quickly every time.  He loves Legos (big and small) and is still into his action figures.  I think he loves Daddy's old G.I. Joe's and Star Wars guys more than his own Batcave inhabitants, but it always amazes me to see his imagination come out. 

I think it's safe to say that this first real phase of his true personality is well underway.  You think your baby has personality...and then they get a personality.  And that's when you start to realize you might be overmatched.  It'll go through countless changes between now and adulthood, no doubt, but it's amazing to start seeing the foundation of what's to come.

Super St. Patty's Day

Three months from today, Jacob turns four.  That seems crazy, almost impossible.  On one hand he is such a little boy.  He plays every sport in some way, runs all over the house, can dress himself, tell stories, have real conversations, and use silverware appropriately.  He knows what he likes, recognizes songs on the radio, and definitely makes his opinions known.  But on the other hand, he's still not that far removed from the baby era.  He still takes a lot of attention, cries quite a bit, and has issues with potty training.  But he's come a long way from the tiny baby I see in pictures, and it blows my mind at how far we've come as parents.  Still, we're struggling through this latest bout of anti-listening, potty-talking, strong-willed, smart-talking behavior.  It stinks.  He's said some hurtful things lately and it's a far-too-early preview of his teenage years, I'm sure.  Not cool.  Someday logic will work with him...right?

Anyway...what's new here?  Well, the weather the last couple weeks has been amazing.  Like 20-30 degrees above normal amazing.  Mostly 60s last week, and 70s this week.  Back to a gentler version of reality this weekend, but for now it's so nice.  The daffodils are already out, nearly a month earlier than last year.  Two years ago we had crazy hot weather Easter weekend (early April) and stuff popped out then, which seemed so early.  This mild winter and amazing spring have really spoiled us.  Jacob has been waiting to play sports outside all winter, and he's obsessed with playing lacrosse outside with Craig right now.  Every night, that's all he wants.  They've also been playing some baseball, and between the chalk baseball diamond and goal creases, our driveway is quite the canvas.  Here's Jacob standing on the pitcher's mound, though notice his addition...

He added the lines around the circle all by himself.  It actually looked super cool, and he did it on the bases, too.

Saturday morning, while I was doing the baby registry, Craig and Jacob went to the St. Patrick's Day parade.  It was a last minute decision to go and ride with the Knighthawks' Krew (a.k.a the booster club) in the parade.  Here are some highlights of the day...

Jacob and our friends' son, Dylan--two lacrosse-crazed little boys!  Dylan is a couple years older but they battle it out regardless.

A local high school mascot, but considering Jacob's love for all hawk/eagle-like birds (given the Knighthawks and their eagle-ish mascot), this was perfectly acceptable.

As usual, wearing some sort of sports equipment, this time a Rattlers' helmet

One of Craig's favorite pics of the day, looking at the caravan of Knighthawks-wrapped cars and the mob of parade watchers enjoying the 70 degree weather

So much for waving to the spectators...

They had a blast, but Jacob's behavior for the rest of the day was so horrible that we skipped a trip to Toys 'R' Us to use a 20% off coupon and a gift card Jacob got last year, as well as an ice cream run.  Somehow I feel like we were more bummed than he was, despite his anger when we told him we weren't going. 

Sunday we went to church and Jacob enjoyed Sunday School as usual.  He sometimes protests, but always comes out liking it.  I took advantage of my second straight gorgeous afternoon to work on yard work, and we went out to dinner.  I signed Jacob up for a local restaurant's "Little Leaguers" club, which got him a free soft hockey puck (which he picked from an assortment of sports balls) that he can bring in each time for free ice cream.  And what an ice cream it was! 

So...back to another week.  At least the weather is good.  Jacob had some accident issues today at daycare, which I'm hoping has to do with the antibiotics he's on.  Did I mention that he has another ear infection?  He woke up Wednesday night around 10:30 complaining his head hurt, which eventually morphed into his ear hurting.  Sure enough, ear infection.  He never really had poop issues with amoxicillin, but the last couple stronger ones he's been on have given him trouble.  Let's hope this was just an exception, because I just got the OK from his teacher today to stop buying pullups for naptime.  Slowly but surely...

Helping Out

I spent this morning at Babies 'R' Us.  The other night my cousin Lori asked if I might be interested in helping her good friend Mandy populate her baby registry.  She wanted the experience of a real mom.  God knows I would have loved that when I did it.  My registry experience was less than blissful.  You can read the post on it here.  I remember two other shopping trips--one with my mom early on, during which she marveled at the insane amount of stuff available these days, and another with Lori which may have been a refinement trip.  That trip with Craig was pretty awful because it was so overwhelming.  I had a list of advice from my cousin's wife to help me, along with Babies 'R' Us' list of suggestions.  It's hard to know what you'll really need, what will work for your baby, and how many you might need.  I think some of my panic came from a concern about how able I'd be to go pick up things we needed once the baby arrived.  I didn't want to be trapped at home and have to send Craig to pick up something, as he doesn't always have the best instincts with things like that...judging, at least, by the multiple phone calls I get when he does a rare grocery run for me.  He tries, but...yeah.

I pretty much felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown in the middle of the store.  I'm not a decisive person as it is, so putting me in a situation like that (particularly while hormonal) was a recipe for disaster.  At the time I compared the experience of a wedding registry vs. a baby registry.  For a wedding registry, you're just getting stuff that you want.  For a baby registry, you're getting stuff that will provide your baby a comfortable existence in the world.  Maybe it's partly to make the parents' life a little more comfortable, too, but it's certainly a different vibe.  I wanted to make the right decisions to ensure we had what we needed and guided people in the right direction to make sure they spent their gift-buying money on the important stuff.  Not that we weren't grateful for everything, but I wanted to make sure we weren't going to be running out at the last minute picking up sheets or bottles or onesies because we didn't get them at any of our showers.  It took a lot of planning and coordination, but it all worked out in the end.  We were still running to the store for various items and exchanging duplicates for months, but we had the vast majority of what we needed by the time Jacob came.

Anyway, this time around it was definitely different.  I was the one "in the know", offering up advice and recalling my experiences.  Some memories came flying back, while others were harder to recall (when did we have to start giving Jacob vitamins, anyway?).  It was interesting to see how the product selection differed.  In some cases there were cool new offerings, like a diaper bag with direct wipes access, 5-second rectal thermometer, car seat handle cushion, a standard high chair that converts to a travel seat and booster, a baby tub with a base that converts to a stool, or a bathtub spout guard with storage on either side.  In other cases there were improvements in the offerings, like better variety packs of feeding products, better prints on linens, or more compact pack-n-plays.  In some cases, the offerings weren't as good.  They didn't have the burp cloths I liked, and the Diaper Champ was nowhere to be found.

It was an interesting throwback to my experience, but it felt good to have a little more knowledge this time around.  It actually excites me for when we have another, to be able to upgrade some items and buy a few key things to enhance what we already have.  Of course, things could be seriously different next time around, but at least we'll have the option of trying what we have and narrowing down the selections if we need something different. 

I was a little nervous about how it might feel to be among a large number of pregnant women, but it wasn't bad.  I mean, I definitely had moments where I was longing to be one of them.  There was a grandma there holding her seven-week-old granddaughter, who was SO tiny despite the fact that she was over nine pounds at birth!  That baby was so sweet and it made me wistful for the tiny baby stage.  I know it's not easy, but oh, is it ever special.  I thought back to my little basketball belly and all the excitement it created.  I was so happy for all of those mamas-to-be, though, and perhaps the jealousy was tempered by the fact that we're not officially trying right now (Disney hiatus is still on until at least June, I think), so I'm not in the throes of frustration with my cycle and negative pregnancy tests.  I'm in a weird limbo where there may be a problem but there's no mounting evidence so it's just staying out of sight, out of mind for now.  Most of the time.