Doctor's appointment

Another month, another doctor's appointment. As usual, this one was pretty quick and painless...other than not having a chance to pee before leaving work (and not wanting to risk having nothing left for the urine sample) and then having to wait 15 minutes before I got called in. Pregnant bladders don't like waiting!

The heart sounded good, except for the second appointment in a row, the baby moved away from the probe right after the doctor found the heartbeat. Funny to think the baby can sense the pressure of it pushing down, and has enough capacity to actually move, you know? One of these days there won't be enough room in there to move!

I got the official word that the ultrasound went well, and the baby is in the 49th percentile for size, which is just about average. My weight is fine, and I'm just about heavier than I've ever been. Or at least equal. At one point a few years ago I gained a bunch of weight from lack of working out and an abundance of bad eating and stress, and I think I was about at this weight by the time I started going to my infamous class at the gym that's been kicking my butt ever since. That class got me jump started to working out at least a couple times a week, and if nothing else it got my muscles in shape enough to up my metabolism. I lost a good 8-10 pounds at some point in the year or so that followed, and kept it off ever since. Until now.

Amazing, though, that it's taken five months of pregnancy to put all of that back on. I attribute that to eating well, avoiding the temptation to sit down with a bag of chips, carton of ice cream, or a candy bar, and continuing to work out. In fact, I have class again tonight. It's definitely getting harder and I've had to alter a few things to make it more pregnancy-friendly. No more crunches, no more laying on my stomach or flat on my back (exercise balls help a lot, and just keeping myself steady is a good butt/hamstring workout), and just not pushing myself too far. It's a fine line between not wimping out and being sensible, but I'm being careful. It'll all be worth it if/when I don't have a ton of extra weight to lose after the pregnancy. I'm a small person and weight shows up fast on my frame...and when I've got plenty of extra weight to carry around already, anything I can save myself is good for my sanity, my health and my baby.

Oh, and the strangest part of the appointment? The doctor mentioned that we have to start looking into pediatricians! She said we should have one set by about 30 weeks. Ahhh, those things that never cross your mind until someone brings them up. It's pretty crazy to think about, but yeah...assuming you go into labor early you need to be set with that stuff...makes sense. And regardless, the baby goes in for an appointment a couple days after you go home, I think (unless all those baby shows on TV just do that for show...guessing not), so you do need one right away regardless. Just one more thing to think about...

General Update

Not much of note going on this week, so I guess I'll just go over a few odds and ends....

First, the belly button ring has officially been put to rest. I did finally put it away, so now it's officially out of sight and out of mind, I guess. It's still funny to not have it there when I'm doing my daily cocoa butter routine.

Second, a fourth woman in my office announced she's pregnant this week. She's really early along, though (too early to be telling people, in my opinion, but whatever...her choice). Must be something in the water around here! I'm still the only one on kid #1, so at least that makes me special :)

Third, it's cracking me up how different I can look day to day, depending on what I'm wearing. On a day like today, where I'm wearing a slightly oversized sweater, I just look like I've put on a few pounds...and all in a really unfortunate manner in the stomach region. I wouldn't say it looks very obviously pregnant, though. But when I pull out the maternity tops, I look a lot more pregnant. The maternity tops (or pseudo-maternity tops, the normal tops I'm making my maternity tops) are probably more flattering to my body as a whole, however, and in most cases I'd rather look pregnant than fat anyway. It's just funny having a different look from day to day, though.

I do wonder how many people in the outside world look at me and wonder, though. Particularly at the gym, since I'm only wearing oversized t-shirts now, and even those get a little snug in the belly area. I wonder if people are like, man, she really should get in here more, or if they're like, wow, kudos to her for coming in here pregnant. Not that it matters...but in this society of people afraid to ask the, "Are you pregnant?" question, or any related questions, for fear that a woman isn't, I guess I'm doomed to wonder...and so are they :)

Tomorrow is my monthly doctor's appointment, which means another of the best kind of visit to the gynecologist ever....my clothes stay on AND I get to hear the baby's heartbeat! Does it get any better than that?

Adios, old friend...

Well, I finally did it. I took out my belly button ring. I'm sure this will bring about much rejoicing from my parents, who were quite crushed when I originally got it. And while I'm not particularly bummed about its demise (I knew it was coming at some point during my first pregnancy, whenever that ended up being), I was surprised at how hard it was to do. After all, I've had it for about a quarter of my life.

I got it shortly after getting out on my own, about when I turned 22 back in 2000. While some would assume it was a bit of a rebellious act, I still don't really think it was. I thought it was something interesting and perhaps a bit out of character (which was always fun to surprise people with), but at the time, it served as a motivator to keep my stomach flat. I had seen too many heftier women with belly button rings, and that was exactly who I didn't want to be. So...I figured that if I got one, with that negative image in my head, it would keep me motivated to keep my stomach looking good. And other than a short span a few years back when my job was sucking the life and energy out of me, it worked. And even during that time I suppose it served as a bit of inspiration to get back to where I was.

So, here I am, 7-1/2 years later, taking it out. It's a farewell to the younger me...which is really ok because there isn't that much I want to hold on to from that time anyway. Most likely the hole will close up and it will be gone forever. I'll have a bit of a scar (mostly thanks to some keloid scarring back from the early days when it just wouldn't heal right), but all things considered, it's a small price to pay when you think about how much worse it could have been....say, an unwanted or overstretched tattoo. This one's less obvious and was cheaper to get rid of :)

I just thought that in the end it was funny it took me this long. It actually still wasn't showing up under my clothes on a regular basis, but I took it out yesterday because it was distracting me. I was trying on everything left in my closet so I could figure out what still fits and clear the rest out (wow, did I do a lot of laundry yesterday). The indent where my belly button is was distracting enough, let alone the little extra bump from the end of the barbell (the "earring", for those of you unfamiliar with body piercing terminology). So, since I knew the moment was coming anyway, I took it out. Of course, I didn't put it away. It's been sitting on my dresser ever since, in case I chickened out and had to put it back in. It didn't really feel any different without it, other than the weird feeling of rubbing my belly and just feeling smooth skin there. That was nice but it still felt like something was missing. But again, I suppose that's the cumulative effect of more than seven years of having something there.

Another big step in this crazy process...

Making Room for Baby...

I had a very productive day yesterday. I got up at a reasonable time, dropped off a ton of rolled change at the bank (over $200 worth...amazing how it adds up), got in a workout, rested up a bit, and then started on the project pictured above. I'd been planning on doing this for a while, but only got around to it yesterday.

Our house came equipped with a number of shelves in the basement. There's a whole workbench full of shelves, plus the wall pictured above, and two other 8 ft. long shelves in another area of the workroom, closer to the laundry area. Of all the shelves, these were the best utilized. They held all of the extra paint for our house, all of the painting tools, and other odds and ends for house upkeep. They're also the most convenient, and were generally the least nasty. Parts of the basement workroom weren't left too clean by the former owners...I can't even identify what may have been left behind on some of the shelves by the workbench. It's so gross cleaning up other people's messes...We've been in this house for nearly three years, and I've probably been putting off a version of this project for just as long. But with the baby coming, it needed to get done...not only because it never would once the baby got here and also because we can use the space.

My plan was to clean off all of the shelves (except the workbench...those are nasty and might take some heavy duty work) and put down contact paper or something. They're all basically just plywood shelves and you'd be amazed how much dirt and dust plywood picks up in a basement. I wanted to get them clean and give them a more cleanable surface for the future, and move the paint and supplies to the two shelves over by the laundry area. Once that was done, it would open up the shelves in the picture for baby stuff. I've taken to affectionately calling these shelves the BJ's Shelves because they'll be nice for storing anything we happen to buy in bulk. I'm envisioning diapers, formula, baby food, wipes...whatever...not to mention anything else BJ's sells that we happen to pick up along the way. It will ease up some congestion in my pantry, and eventually in the baby's room as well. They're nice, sturdy shelves and they just weren't being utilized efficiently.

So, over the course of about 2-1/2 hours yesterday, I wiped the shelves down (thank God for disposable Clorox wipes...I could just dispose of the nastiness) and put down some cheap contact paper from Wal-Mart. Because the shelves are just plywood, I don't know how well it will stick long term, but frankly, I don't care if I have to tack it down or superglue it at some point. At least something's there now to cover the plywood and leave a smooth, easy-to-clean surface. It was a very rewarding project and I'm glad I got it done. It looks 100% better and it makes the basement that much less icky. Now if I could just be that productive every day!

Getting bigger...

I can really tell now that my belly is getting bigger. It hasn't rounded out yet, but it's getting close. My instructor at the gym called it a "beer belly" today, and yeah, it really sort of looks like it. It's been a little tight the last couple days, which I can only assume is a result of its expansion. The skin and muscles have to adjust, I suppose, and it was a little extra sore right after my class at the gym tonight...guess all that movement didn't help matters.

I've been a devoted user of cocoa butter for the past couple months to prevent stretch marks, for when all of this major growth started. I have a couple stretch marks on my hips as souvenirs of puberty, and I don't really want to add to my collection. The clear ones (the kind I already have) are better than the purple ones that you see a lot of pregnant women with, but I really don't want any of them. The ones I have annoy me enough. I've been sticking with my workouts as much as possible to keep in shape now and make it easier on myself post-delivery. I'd hate to get back to a nice figure, only to not want to show any of it off because it's littered with stretch marks. A lot of it is genetics, though, and based on my mom I should be ok.

I did discover last week that I no longer need to work my abs. I can't remember if I mentioned the pregnant fitness instructor that visited our class last week, but she said that if you work your abs while they're split (to allow room for the belly--after 16 weeks or so) that it's harder to get them back in place after the baby. I won't miss doing crunches, but it's harder to avoid abs altogether than you'd think. I don't know if it's bad to work just the abs or if the whole core is an issue as well...but I'd think a little core strength isn't a bad thing.

Anyway, the big belly has been a lot more noticeable lately, for whatever reason...either because I'm wearing more maternity stuff and they make it more obvious, or because most of the time I see my belly it's bigger because my bladder's full, or because it's just getting undeniably bigger. I'll try to post a picture sometime soon, but honestly, right now it's still somewhere between looking grotesque without clothes and unimpressive with, so I'm not sure what to show you at this point. But I promise, sometime soon...

Pregnancy...Celebrity Style

When I first got pregnant, I was actually pretty excited to see who the next celebrities would be to announce they were pregnant. After all, it's become a pretty big trend in Hollywood these days, and I thought it might be fun to see paparazzi pictures of famous people at the same stage of their pregnancy as me. I think Jessica Alba was the first one to announce, followed by Jamie Lynn Spears. Hmmm. While Jessica Alba wasn't bad, my preference was to have someone who was classy and happily married (or whatever that looks like in Hollywood). Jessica Alba is classy enough, but the baby daddy in her case was her on-again-off-again boyfriend. Not ideal, but whatever. I won't even go into Jamie Lynn Spears. At long last, Nicole Kidman announced she was pregnant, which fit my criteria pretty well. Unfortunately, I don't think I've seen one photo of her since then. Bummer.

The other day I was reading some celeb news (sorry, I get bored and it's there) on omg.yahoo.com. At the top of the page there's a menu option of hot topics, and there you can choose "Baby Bumps", which gives you the most recent celeb news and photos within that topic. I just went there, actually, and it appears that Jennifer Lopez has checked into the hospital to have her twins. Anyway...they had some updated pictures of Jessica Alba. I'm thinking she and I must be at about the same point, give or take a week or two, because she seems to have the same sort of belly thing going as me. Of course, she does look way better because she started out looking way better, but it did my heart good to see that she's got a bit of the awkward belly that I've been complaining about. If you look at the fourth photo, you can see she's got a bit of the belly button crease issue going on. Mine is still far worse, but hey...she can't be loving it either, considering how good she looked pre-pregnancy. She does look awfully comfy in those clothes...maybe she can't find many maternity clothes she likes either. Haha. Interestingly, I was just poking around more and found some articles saying that the National Enquirer is reporting that she's having twins and that the due date is June 8th. Well...if she's having twins and the due date is correct, then wow...she's looking extra good. But based on my experience and seeing the pics of her, I'm not convinced. That'll be interesting to see...

I used to think the term "baby bump" was cute. Maybe I will again as time goes on, but right now I don't feel like my belly can accurately be described as a bump. A "baby lump", maybe?

Leaving College Behind

I've always been a bit of the nostalgic type...reveling in cool things that have happened in my past. Most of it tends to go only as far back as college, or it generally has something to do with family. Family, college and working in the sports industry definitely tend to be the three top nostalgic topics for me, because, for better or for worse, they were the three things that have shaped my life the most. I've been blessed with a great family, and as traditions change and we spread across the country, sometimes nostalgia's all I've got to take me back to the old days of family gatherings...hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa on summer afternoons, Thursday lunches with the ladies, Christmas chaos...the list could go on and on. I still have a great family and I know there are many more good times to come, but those moments become more and more precious as time goes on. Working in sports is right up there too, despite all the stress it caused me over the years. Ultimately I still got to live out a dream and experience things I could scarcely dream of. It definitely had its moments, and when Craig and I are old and gray, looking back on our crazy younger days in sports, hopefully we'll forget all the bad stuff. And hey, I did get a husband out of the deal, right?

College is a bit of a different animal. It definitely impacted my life in many ways...from the usual coming-of-age stuff, to amazing friendships, to taking my faith in God to a whole new level. Those four years were really unbelievable. I'm sure many people would agree, regardless of their individual experience, and as many of us know, some people hold on to that world far too long. And if you're unaware, walk into most bars late on a weekend night and you'll probably see a few examples. Anyway, I have my college experience close for years, and for mostly good reasons. I still love sharing weekends with the girls, and the pure knowledge of how amazing my spiritual life back then was gives me something to strive for now. All of that is extremely important and isn't the stuff I'm "leaving behind", per the title of this entry.

What I am talking about is this tendency I have to slip back into a time and place far from here, and feel like it was just a couple years ago. A very simplistic example of this is how I feel every summer when the back-to-college stuff comes out. It wasn't as big of a business back when I first went to school, but the mere sight of shower totes and plastic crates brings me back to the good old days. That has faded a bit year by year, but still...even something like a warm fall or spring day takes me back to the gloriousness of walking to class in picture perfect weather.

I've come to realize that this baby is going to change a lot. It's not even here yet and already it's taken over more of my thoughts than I realize. There are things I used to think about a lot that pop up in my mind, and suddenly I realize it's been a really long time since I thought about it...whether it's remembering to get a haircut, clean the house, email someone, etc. Time just flies these days. Bringing a baby into the picture definitely creates a very real separation between who I am now and the person I was even a year or two ago, let alone 10 years ago back in college. That's not to say I won't regress periodically, but a baby is a seriously real difference...more than a job or a mortgage ever could be.

All of this really struck me this morning. I was on my way to work listening to Sixpence None the Richer, the first Christian band Mary and I went nuts for back in college. Their music (a few songs in particular) inevitably whisks me back to a certain period of time back in college, and I started thinking back to the concert that started it all. And it just sort of hit me that it was 11 years ago...that's a really long time. I'm such a different person than I was then, but yet...it seems like it could be yesterday. But in reality, I'm grown up, with a job, married, and having a baby. While nothing should take away from a great memory, I just realized that each step I take in life is one step further removed from that time. New memories will start crowding out the old ones a bit. They won't disappear, but my brain probably won't have the time or brainpower to go back to them as much.

It was a bit of a sad realization, but at the same time I realized that there's so much more to come. As enriching as those experiences were, I'm about to embark on another crazy, amazing life experience. My hope is that I still will think back to those days periodically, because they were truly life-altering...and FUN. I don't want to forget them by any means, but I think at some point I'll make peace with leaving them behind (to whatever degree) and fully embrace the life I live now for the amazing thing it is.