Feeling the pressure...

Last weekend Jacob and I went to visit my parents.  Craig had a road trip (and so it begins) and since we hadn't been there a lot I decided it was a good opportunity to get in one last visit before the holidays.  I had been wanting to go to the Christmas market set up in Niagara Falls anyway, so it seemed like a good fit.  We headed up Friday night with Craig, who was flying out of Buffalo early Saturday, and fortunately our sleepy boy did, in fact, sleep.  He was awake but drowsy when we arrived, and went back down with little fanfare. 

Saturday was a pretty lazy day.  We mostly just hung out around the house, which was fine with me, and after naptime we got packed up and headed off to Niagara Falls USA.  Niagara Falls makes me sad, because there's so much potential there but not much going on.  Even with the Christmas market and some event getting set up in one of the buildings near the market, there wasn't a lot of activity.  But the casino was packed, of course.  It was COLD, though, and it was probably a good thing the market wasn't as big as I'd hoped.  Keep in mind I've been watching webcams across Europe for years with Christmas markets like this (though many are WAY bigger), so I really wanted this to give me a taste of that fine (predominantly) German tradition.  It ended up being a bit lackluster, but it also gave me a new appreciation for the thousands of people that go to those things since it was so cold!  Here's the rundown, though...

View as we came out of the casino, where we parked.  Pretty lovely, eh?

Zoomed out, looking down toward the market.  If you look close you can see little huts and tents down the way.

The ice rink at the far end of the market.  Jacob wanted to skate.  Of course.  No dice.

My dad, posing with one of the ice sculptures nearby

Jacob with another ice sculpture

On the bright side, the time in Buffalo coincided with the first real snowfall of the season.  We got a little bit here but it melted during the day.  Buffalo, however, got enough that it stuck through the weekend, which was nice to be able to get a little Christmas enhancement.  I don't particularly love snow, but I don't mind just enough this time of year to make things white and Christmasy. 

Sunday we went to church and I sort of freaked when I saw the third candle was lit on the advent wreath.  Holy cow, Christmas is coming fast!  We did some shopping after church, had a fantastic lunch made by my mom, and then headed out in time for nap.  Jacob conked out pretty quickly on the car ride home, and I felt bad that he woke up when we arrived at our pit stop, the photo place where I had to pick up a CD of Jacob's picture from daycare.  I need to print photos ASAP!  Oh, and there's that little issue of getting a picture for our Christmas card, but whatever...

Sunday evening I started work on Christmas cookies for today's office cookie swap.  Last year had been a disaster, so I was nervous this year to try the cutouts my mom does so well every year.  In the end they turned out beautifully...and don't they look pretty?

Pre-baking...elegant in their simplicity.  Picture the finished ones frosted in white and sprinkled with red, green and blue sugar.

I baked another batch last night, mint chocolate truffles, and got a nice assortment of treats today to bring home.  I'm still freaking out about how quickly Christmas is approaching, though.  I had an opportunity to do a ton of shopping today, but it didn't do much good.  I had a really hard time finding what I wanted or deciding on certain gifts.  We're running out of time and I have no idea how we're going to have enough time to pull it all off.  Not gonna lie...as usual I'm stressing out more than I'd like to be.  I need visits from the inspiration fairy as well as the time fairy, ASAP. 

I'm beat, though--thanks in part to a caloric work holiday dinner, no doubt--so for tonight, I've done what I can.

Back in the swing of things...

I've been back for a few days now, and as you can probably guess by the lack of blog content, I've been busy.  Work has been crazy, and it will only get crazier since we have just a couple weeks left before a week off at Christmas, and lots of activities and parties and vacation days to work around.  I don't even think I can fit in all of my vacation days, since my request for the 23rd was denied (eh, it'll be a half day anyway).  I've got a cookie swap and our department's holiday celebration next week, as well as my office party and Jacob's Christmas concert.  We have a ridiculous amount of shopping to do, and I already feel like the Christmas season is slipping away without a good opportunity to enjoy it.  I don't think any of us are feeling particularly fantastic--I feel like I'm on the verge of another cold, after never getting over the other two I've had over the last six weeks or so; Jacob had a couple lengthy coughing fits the other night; and Craig has had some cold symptoms, too.  On the bright side, Craig has been doing a fantastic job losing weight lately, so at least one part of the health department is going well.  And no, not even close to any baby news these days.
Coming back home has been...interesting.  It was a little frustrating coming home to things being a little out of place--laundry in the wrong drawers, all out of certain foods, etc.  I shouldn't complain, because it means that Craig did laundry and they didn't just eat fast food the whole time, but it's hard to come back and have to resettle more than just yourself.  My jet lag wasn't too bad since I never actually adjusted to Pacific time, but I was still very grateful for my extra day off before going back to work, even if it wasn't nearly as productive as I would have liked it to be.  Lately I've been feeling like there aren't enough hours in the day...and if I'm not feeling that way at any given moment, I'm probably forgetting half of what I need to be doing.  It absolutely boggles my mind--whether I'm at home or at work--how quickly time passes after I put things off.  Suddenly weeks (or months!) have passed and I never got back to something.  It's pretty awful and there are times I wonder how on earth I'll ever keep up with anything if this second baby ever happens.

This month is yet another excuse to let the housework slide.  I'm busy enough with shopping and decorating and planning, and it's probably not good, but all of the other stuff just doesn't get done.  And I'm sure next month I'll find plenty of other better things to do yet again.  And suddenly I'll realize it's been a couple months since the last thorough cleaning, or that I've been trying to get around to shampooing the rest of my carpets for weeks.  Time passes all too fast.  As much as I keep trying to rush the pregnancy thing, I know there's so much I could be doing in the meantime. 

Speaking of time passing, I think Jacob aged while I was gone.  Sounds silly, but maybe it's just a changed perspective after having a break.  There are certain things that strike me as much more grown up, like the way he talks or plays with his toys.  He's a pretty awesome kid, though.  He said that he missed me, and he's been pretty generous with the hugs and kisses since I got back.  He still has moments that are so infuriating, though, where he just blatantly ignores what we're asking.  I had very little tolerance for that when I got back, surprisingly.  Perhaps Kate is that much better of a listener that I forgot how bad of one Jacob can be.  But the good moments in between are really great these days.  He certainly makes us laugh sometimes, and his sense of humor is definitely moving to a new level.  Oh, and while I'm 100% sure this will jinx us, Jacob's been back in underwear for the first time in a few weeks, and things have been going well.  Very well. 

While I was gone, Craig and Jacob went to an Amerks game and saw Santa.  Jacob hopped right up on Santa's lap and told him he wanted Batman.  That's quite a switch, but it's further proof our little boy is growing up.  I'm excited for Christmas this year and hope he's happy with his gifts.  And I hope he's grateful.  Hard to believe we only have two more weeks until we find out!  Let the rush begin...

...And Back...

Well, I'm on my way back from Portland, composing this offline to kill some time on my long flight. Looks like I'll actually have a movie on this one, but I might also have a little trouble making my connection, so we'll see how that goes. Thank you, morning fog, for delaying my flight crew. My trip was really nice, a mental break from my usual responsibilities at home and some good quality time with John, Kristin, Kate and my adorable new nephew, Max.

It was a pretty low key visit compared to my last trip west, when Craig and I visited Seattle and Portland during a whirlwind week of sightseeing—Pike Place Market, Space Needle, Rose Garden, Mt. Hood, Oregon Coast—but this trip was really mostly about Max and Kate, and I definitely enjoyed that portion. We ate well—a fantastic Mexican place, a cool brewery, a funky pizza place, the tiniest sit-down restaurant ever, along with a couple delicious meals prepared by Kristin. We walked around the neighborhood a bit, and ventured downtown. We went to the Nike campus and shopped at the employee store, and had a brief but lovely visit to the Oregon Zoo's Zoo Lights display. But the most precious moments were certainly spent cuddling my new nephew, and it was fun to play with Kate, as well. She was hesitant and shy at times, but when she let down her guard, we had fun.

Max was a delight, and it definitely reinforced my desire to have another baby. And playing with Kate solidified that I'd love to have a girl. But I do think it reminded me that I'll be totally in love with a new baby regardless of the gender, even if I might still have a nagging desire to buy cute dresses and play with dolls and play kitchens in addition to daily games of lacrosse and soccer in the living room. Holding a little boy definitely brought back memories from 3-1/2 years ago, when Jacob was a newborn and made those adorable noises. It's been a long time since I dealt with a baby too young for head/neck control, or that did the crazy, explosive poops mid-feeding. It took a little adjusting, but I was pleasantly surprised that the instinct came right back. Perhaps a little clumsier than I was before, but I think I was a lot less phased by getting peed on than I may have been before! I savored every moment of snuggle time and tried to take a lot of pictures of both Max and Kate.

Of course, I had my new camera with me, which presented both an opportunity and a challenge. I had great subjects to test out my camera on, but also the issue of trying to get good pictures despite not knowing the best ways to use my camera. Lots of settings to try out, lots of fun shots to play with, but all with the risk of not getting great pictures of the kids or the scenery while I was there. It didn't go perfectly, but I think I'm reasonably happy with the shots I got. Definitely a few winners in there, as you'll see below.

Clock of Nations in the Rochester airport.  It used to be in the mall I walked through every day for work.  I took the picture with the "toy camera" setting on my new camera to age it a bit.

View of Mt. Hood from the plane.  Gorgeous, and you can even see the snow blowing around!

Max...so sweet.  So.  Sweet.

 

View from John & Kristin's condo

I love this picture and it was totally random.  Trixie came right up to me and set her head on my lap.  Couldn't resist.

Max, wide awake and still so sweet.  Handsome little man.

The tree got put up and decorated on Friday, and here's Kate with it.  Her ornament hanging handiwork is in the lower left :)

This picture turned out a little blurry, but it was probably the best smile I got! 

Apparently sweet runs in the family, eh?

One of my favorite artsy pictures from my trip...fisheye effect on the hanging decor in the mall downtown

Pretty tree from Zoo Lights

We only got to see a portion of the decorations, but this was one of my favorite walkways

Anyway, I'm happy to be heading home to my boys, even if Craig was dreadfully sick yesterday morning and I'm in total fear of Jacob coming down with the same thing...or me, for that matter. Being with another nearly-three year old was a good reminder of what I had left at home, and although I wasn't anywhere near miserable without him, I did miss being a part of his daily life and I'm looking forward to getting back. It is Christmastime, after all, so I'm happy to be getting back in the groove in time to start enjoying some of the best parts of the season.

Now there's just the little issue of catching my connection in Chicago to get back to that life. Or rather, catching it with a full belly, empty bladder, and enough room to store my luggage on board. Fingers crossed, because I want to see my baby tonight...

[Insert extra long flight, brisk walk through O'Hare, arrival at my flight with about five minutes to spare, super quick flight to Rochester, and a ride home from my boys here]

So, I'm finally home.  It's been a long day (did I mention I woke up extra early?), though my travel was relatively painless other than the stress of potentially missing my connection.  A movie made the first flight go quickly, and a rousing game of Mahjongg

Calm Before the Storm...

Well, not really "calm", but the blog's been a bit quiet, eh?  Sorry.  I'm not sure if I'm simply content with nothing to vent or discuss, or if there's just been too many things on my mind to get overly philosophical about any one thing. 

We had a lovely thanksgiving.  Not a particularly photogenic one, apparently, as the last pictures on my camera are from last Wednesday's thanksgiving feast at Jacob's daycare.  I will post those and a couple others soon, but seeing as how there aren't a LOT of pictures on my camera to pull off, there just hasn't been a high priority to do it (or to post them here) since last week. 

We left for Buffalo on Wednesday night.  Jacob went to bed late and woke up coughing in the middle of the night, yet he was still awake shortly after 7am.  We had a lazy morning then did a quick errand before heading over to Craig's brother's house for the feast.  We had a fantastic meal, and for a change, it was just that one.  My parents were in Portland, so we only had one stop this year.  It was a little bit of a bummer to not see them, but I was more than happy to share this year.  It was great for John, Kristin and the kids to have my parents there, and good for me to only have one meal to gorge on and less driving to do.  We had a good time with Craig's family and Jacob definitely made good use of his cousins' stash of masks and helmets.  That kid is totally into role playing right now--in his own weird way, hence the the fact that he's been parading around in as many as four layers lately.  He'll wear four short-sleeved shirts on top of one another, and shorts under his pants, and for some reason in his mind he's being a superhero or a sports guy.  Don't ask me how, but that's the latest thing.

I did some shopping online thanksgiving night--got Jacob's big gift and a new camera, which I cannot wait to play with!  Good timing, too, since that means I can leave one camera with Craig and take the new one with me to Portland.  More on that in a bit, though...

Friday we headed back around lunchtime and I managed to put up the tree (no decorations) and get settled back in.  Craig was busy most of the rest of the weekend with work, but I managed to do a little shopping (nothing exciting), put up most of the Christmas decorations, and finish the tree over the past few days.  I wouldn't call our weekend relaxing, exactly, but it wasn't super crazy either, which was nice. 

However, being back to work this week has been a little on the hellish side since I have a ton of work to do and only three days to do it in.  Everyone's busy, everyone needs everything ASAP, and I'll be in Portland in less than two days.  So, yeah, not exactly a happy start to the week for me.  On top of that, I had to finalize Jacob's daycare pictures (yes, there were a couple good ones, but I needed them to fix one for me, since he had a major patch of hair out of place) and changing over all of our insurance (medical and dental) to my job.  Craig's offerings changed and mine turned out to be the better deal.  I hate that kind of paperwork.  All of these things had a deadline of tomorrow, so between work and decorating and planning for my trip, I've been making lists and trying to carve out time to get everything done.  I'm not even sure where to begin on instructions or "suggestions" for Craig for his five days alone with Jacob.  I know they'll survive fine, albeit with a lack of home cooking and probably a little less structure than usual.  They'll be fine.  The bigger question is what I will be returning to!

I'm sure I'll be blogging from the airport pondering my coexisting angst and excitement about my trip.  It's rare enough that I even get on a plane, let alone be away from Jacob for this long, so the whole thing means I'm just a bundle of emotions heading into it.  The busy week isn't helping, nor is the mere fact that it's Christmas season.  As it is this time of year I usually have a million things swirling around in my head--gift buying, cookie baking, parties and dinners, Christmas events--and there's never enough time to do it all as it is.  Throw in a cross-country trip and it leaves me a little more anxious than usual.  However, I have no doubt it will be worth it in the end, just as it was last time we had a trip in the middle of Christmas season, our fantastic trip to Florida when I was newly pregnant.  This time I'm flying solo, though, for only the second time ever.

This is my first time traveling with technology, so I'm trying to remember everything I might need for my laptop, MP3 player, cell phone, and new camera.  I'm trying to bring stuff to run outside.  I'm trying to remember the rules for packing liquids.  And I'm trying to pack it all into two carry-ons.  Ha! 

Should be an interesting few days, that's for sure.

Photo Friday

Of course, it's almost the end of Friday in the time zone where most people who read this blog reside, but oh well.  Things are good in Portland, though I do feel a little like I'm missing a body part without having Jacob as my constant companion.  Perhaps being around another child of a similar age makes his absence even more apparent, as some of Kate's tactics are similiar to Jacob's at times, though she's got a girlier, sweeter delivery most of the time.  It's different not having to be the disciplinarian, though...but I appreciate the break.

Here's a couple pictures from late last month:

Jacob discovered he could take the flight goggles off our stuffed Snoopy and he thought it was really funny to wear them.

Jacob has been wearing a ridiculous amount of clothing on a regular basis lately.  This day he was wearing his new lacrosse jersey, his favorite shorts, lacrosse gloves, a fancy helmet that Daddy got him, and his soccer shin guards.  He was ready to go! 

This is at Jacob's daycare thanksgiving feast...this was a totally random face and it seriously cracked me up!

This has nothing to do with Jacob, but I just wanted to share--because isn't this gorgeous?  It's the view from my office.  This is the only redeeming quality of these early sunsets this time of year!

Hopefully more soon from Portland...

On my way...

I'm sitting in O'Hare after a perfect first flight, utilizing my 20 free minutes of WiFi before my next flight, which boards in another 15 minutes or so.  It's been a long morning already, up at 3:15am and to the airport at 4:30am.  Security was easy and I had some time to hang out with the old Midtown Plaza Clock of Nations, which I used to walk past every day on my way to work, that is now sitting in the airport.  It was fun to have time to sit and watch it as it came to life on the hour.  I got online for a bit, and then it was time to board.  The flight was smooth, with my own single seat and window, and a gorgeous sunrise following us all the way here.  The descent into Chicago was exactly as I'd hoped when I'd picked the left side of the plane--I finally got a nice view of Chicago after so many flights here on the other side without the city view.

It was hard saying goodbye to Jacob this morning while he slept, not to mention last night while he was still awake.  It's hard to take this time away, but I feel it will be worth it.  More on that later.

Time to board...

Instant Gratification

I decided this morning that instant gratification is ruining our society.  We're obviously aware of the impact of technology...and yes, it's nice.  It's nice to be able to look up anything instantly, call people at any time (no need to have a pay phone or quarter), or watch a show or movie whenever you want.  No need to wait until Saturday morning for your favorite cartoon--just pull it up on Netflix or the DVR.  We see pictures instantly on Facebook, mere moments after friends' babies are born.  We download music moments after the album releases, order items from our couch and have them arrive the next day, and email or text people to get our message across instantly.  Sorry, snail mail.  Heck, even the prevalence of premarital sex (and at ever-younger ages) plays into this as well.  So while all these things are convenient, they're doing nothing to teach us patience. 

Recently I've been getting very frustrated with the emergence of Christmas in October.  I hate seeing Christmas displays across the way from Halloween candy, and the way we just skip over Thanksgiving completely makes me crazy.  Part of me thinks we should adopt Canada's thanksgiving, just because it times out better for the early introduction of Christmas.  We lose a vacation day, but heck, make Black Friday a holiday then.  I'm a purist, and I hate to hear Christmas music before Thanksgiving night.  Back in the day we didn't hear Christmas music at all until then, and the all-day music didn't happen until Christmas Eve!  Now it starts in mid-November (if not sooner), all day every day, right through.  Even Black Friday has been stretched earlier, with sales well ahead of the actual day coupled with crazy hype all the way there.  And if that wasn't enough, we stretch the madness out to Cyber Monday now, as well.  I've been shaking my head all week at the Christmas lights popping up all over, and the last month of mall shopping has been downright sickening.  I'm not ready for it yet, and it bugs me that we're rushing the season so early.  It never used to be this bad, and I feel like it's cheapening the season.

Part of what makes anything in life special is that there's some anticipation leading up to it.  Think about it--Christmas was special as a kid because we had this one special time of year where everything was focused on the holiday.  Advent calendars, countdown chains, and all of the traditional preparations made the season so exciting, and it was all crammed into one very special month.  Finishing school is a big deal because you've had a certain period of time to anticipate the ending.  Weddings and babies both have "waiting periods" for a reason--time to prepare and get excited.  Back in my dating days, one of my best first kisses came after weeks of nothing but great conversation and very deliberate restraint.  I just don't think any of these experiences would be as exciting without that build-up. 

On the other hand, if the time gets stretched out too long, it becomes old hat, just part of regular life.  If we had to go through the same gestation period as an elephant (22 months), we'd probably get a little bored with the concept and the excitement would probably trail off until right before the end.  Likewise, if we keep stretching out Christmas preparations way in advance, that special period that makes the season so great will just be part of life this time of year.  Instead of knowing you need to fit in certain activities during this special month, procrastination will reign as people think they have months to do it.  It just doesn't make it as urgent, so chances are, it might not get done.

Maybe I'm just a stick-in-the-mud purist and I need to get with the times.  Maybe I should just jump right in and appreciate the bonus time we have to enjoy the season.  But I still can't get past the importance of Thanksgiving, and the reminder to be thankful (particularly when heading into a season of greed and materialism) is that much more important. 

As Thanksgiving approaches this year, I'm a little bummed that we're not quite where I was hoping we would be by now--pregnant with #2 and in a much better financial situation than we were before.  Craig's job situation has changed, and it's probably a bit better than it was last year, though for non-financial reasons.  Baby #2 just isn't happening right now, and it's disappointing.  However, we have much to be thankful for, and at this point I'm in no position to complain.  But again, per my theory above, if it would have happened right away, I just don't think it would have the same impact as it will when we've been waiting and anticipating it for this long.  I've maintained all along that it'll happen in God's perfect timing, so while I have all of my earthly plans and schedules, I know that whatever His timing is is better than what I could imagine.  It's not easy to wait, but I know it'll be worth it.  And if it never happens?  Well, hopefully I'll have the grace to accept that, too, and appreciate all we have been given. 

You'd never know it by our society, but there's nothing wrong with slowing down a bit.  Everything happens in its own time.  We don't need to get ahead of ourselves just to make things happen faster.  It cheapens the experience and doesn't teach the importance of the process of preparation.  And God knows that whether it's our baby or His baby that we're preparing for, that time is precious.