- I realized on Sunday while looking at the ads packed with college "necessities" (ha!) that this summer marks the halfway point between when I went to college for the first time and when Jacob will go to college for the first time. Fifteen years ago I graduated from high school and went off to my freshman year at Geneseo. Since Jacob turned three this summer, it would appear that in 15 years he'll turn 18 and be off to college. That is CRAZY. I know I've packed a lot into the last 15 years, but they've gone rather quickly and I can't believe the next 15 will go that fast (or faster!?) and my little boy will be all grown up.
- Over the weekend one man died at a baseball game and another died on the Ride of Steel roller coaster at Darien Lake. The baseball guy was at a Texas Rangers baseball game and tried to catch a foul ball thrown to him by an outfielder. He lost his balance and fell over a railing 20 feet, head-first into concrete. His six-year-old son saw the whole thing. The roller coaster guy was a veteran and, as a result, a double leg amputee. He was thrown out of the coaster which has a lap restraint as its primary restraint mechanism. They're saying now he probably shouldn't have been allowed on. Still, it's scary. And considering those two activities are among the leisure activities that Craig and I each enjoy most (of course, I like baseball...Craig does not like coasters), it definitely gives you pause when you consider doing those things with your child. Freak accidents are rare, but they happen.
- I'm pretty sure Jacob is officially worse than a girl when it comes to his wardrobe. He now wears numerous shirts, shorts, and socks every day. He changes clothes to make him feel more like an athlete who plays his sport of choice--whatever it may be at any given moment. He's got certain things that are more sports-related, like a basketball jersey and shorts, but he tends to put on his dark colored dress socks and pull them way up so they're like soccer socks. I know it's the least of our worries, but it's driving me nuts. Every time I walk into his room, there are clothes everywhere...clean stuff on the floor, dirty stuff in his drawers, unmatched socks, etc. Not to mention that potty accidents mean more clothing changes! It's creating a lot of laundry. I'm glad he's not one of those naked kids, but is it that hard to stay in one set of clothes?
- I have a suspicion that we're tremendously lucky with Jacob's pooping abilities. He's infamous at daycare for his ability to poop fast and poop big. I've had teachers tell me multiple times that they didn't believe he was already done (he was), or that his poop was impressively large, or that it clogged up a toilet. And YET...he rarely has problems getting it out. Constipation has rarely been an issue for him, even when the size or consistency might make it seem otherwise. It's impressive. Not only that, but he's not afraid to poop on the potty. He still does it in his diaper once in a while, but he's been really good about the potty lately and has never done it in underwear. Thank goodness. And now...cue the jinx.
- Jacob loves both the US and Canadian anthems. He asks us to sing them all the time, and even sings along sometimes. Tonight Jacob and Craig were watching the MLB All-Star Game, and during the anthem Jacob stood there, mouthed the words, and rocked a bit on his feet, just like most athletes do. He did the same rocking thing over the weekend when he asked Craig to sing the anthem first thing in the morning. He is something else.
- Jacob still hasn't been in the pool this summer. He never wants to go in, and rather than battle him to get into his suit (I have NO doubt that it would be a battle--everything else is, so why not that? He's already expressed his disinterest in it), we've found it easier to go in the pool when he's not around--mostly during his naps or in the evening when he's in bed. Tonight I took my usual Tuesday night bike ride and came home in the midst of the bedtime routine, so I went out to the backyard and enjoyed a quick dip. The water was warm and the evening was perfect. One of these days we will get him in there, but I feel a little guilty that he isn't a fish. We never took him to swim class and we haven't pushed the pool thing. He will need to learn how to swim someday, because I don't like the thought of him living here with a pool in the backyard without the ability to swim. Or maybe his complete disinterest isn't a bad thing...
Yawn...I'm off to bed. Long day behind me and a short night ahead...as usual.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
Weekend Miscellany
Ahhh, another weekend at home with no set plans...I could get used to this. Alas, it looks like we have a few busy weekends ahead of us again, so hopefully we enjoyed it enough while it lasted!
Of course Jacob loved it and didn't want to take it off, but the lure of baseball did the trick and we were off. It was a beautiful night for a game, and we had a very nice time. After a few innings and some dinner, we let Jacob take a few swings at the one inflatable. It's like tee-ball, except the ball floats on air. He had one very good hit.
After he hit, we heard another Zooperstar come on the field, this time "Squidney Crosby" (hockey player at a baseball game?), who ate the bat boy and spit out his clothes (and the boy) one spit at a time. For some reason this totally freaked Jacob out, and this is the concerned look on his face that resulted...
Later on, "Barack Ollama" (yep, they made the president into a llama) sang "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" from the press box about 10 rows above us. "Harry Canary" (who did make the trip) used to sing it, but I guess the president gets precedence. Barack finished it off with "Living in America" (a la Rocky IV) and showing off the star-spangled lining inside of his jacket. Jacob was watching it all with a very close eye.
We're really not sure if he thinks they're going to come eat us, or what. Poor kid. Anyway, the game was long and by the time the fireworks started, Jacob was fading. How a kid falls asleep during fireworks, I'm not sure. They weren't particularly loud or fancy, but still. Overall it was a pretty good night. He wanted to play a lot, but we managed to find a good balance between watching and playing. Still, it was a late night and he didn't sleep in too much to compensate!
Saturday morning was pretty lazy. I was feeling a little better from the nasty cold I picked up last week, but I ended up lounging on the couch for quite a while because one of my all-time favorite movies, Parenthood, was on, and I couldn't pull myself away from it! Definitely interesting to watch now that I am a parent! We were planning on seeing my parents at some point Saturday, as they were in town to see their friends and go to the Corn Hill Arts Festival. We were originally hoping to meet them there, but in the end nap time overlapped it and it just made more sense to stay home until they came to our house afterward. But from the time Jacob went down for his nap, I was a cleaning/organizing machine. It all started with the collapse of the little wardrobe I had in the basement holding my off-season clothes. It got a little bent when something fell against it at our old house, and though it had been tipping ever since, it took until the other day for it to actually fall. I bought a new one but was pondering changing up the setup of the two shelves and the wardrobe that comprised the only tall storage we have in the basement. In the end everything stayed in place, except for the one shelf which I decided would be better used in the garage. So...I had to reorganize what had been messily stored on two shelves into one. I assembled the wardobe, moved my clothes in, vacuumed the dust off the crawl space floor and the cobwebs from the rest of that area, and then started working in the garage. My parents came in the middle of that and we had a nice rest/chat before heading off to dinner (minus Craig, who had a work thing, the one that involved raffling off the helmet). When we got back, my parents played with Jacob and I finished up my organizing in the garage. In the end, I ended up with an organized shelf full of stuff, including two previously discarded laundry baskets full of Jacob's balls and sports equipment; a better placement for my garbage bag on wheels (used for weeding and other yard cleanup); more space for Jacob's bigwheel, wagon and bubble mower; and just a generally more organized garage. And with help from my dad, an out-of-commission backup trimmer was fixed, and a problematic assembly job (a cart that came with our lawn mower--I messed up one step of assembly and was stuck with a stripped screw) was ready to be put back on track. Considering I'd been waiting over a year to do all of that stuff, it felt AMAZING to get it done. Hence why I just relived it by posting it here. Sorry if that was boring...but it was THE big victory of my weekend.
Sunday I knew we had to get up for church, as our attendance has been sketchy over the summer (lots of trips and one illness mainly to blame), and I was beat when the alarm clock went off. Jacob slept in until about 9am (we had to leave at 9:30), yet we still managed to get there on time. And we sat in church and he was a very good boy. Thank goodness. That may or may not have had something to do with the bribe of going on the church playground afterward, which we did. He went on the thing below, and climbed around the main playset a bit. He even went down a couple slides solo, which for our slide-phobic child was a big deal.
The heat was intense, though, so we left pretty quickly, stopped at the bank and Wegmans, then headed home for lunch and nap. Jacob's nap was terribly short. However, during that time we still managed to watch the US Women win their World Cup game and hang out in the pool for bit. When Jacob woke up, I was feeling inspired by the win and decided to give Jacob a little treat. I brought out a gift he got for his last birthday, a full soccer uniform for Team USA (from last year's World Cup--Nike, of course), courtesy of Uncle John, Aunt Kristin, and Kate. It was still a little big on him, but he loved it...especially the tall socks.
He gave us a little trouble with wanting to wear it outside or eat in it--not yet, as I'd like it to stay clean at least until it actually fits him--but he definitely liked it a lot. I did introduce it as a special thing that would not become a staple in his clothing rotation, but we'll certainly pull it out here and there now when he's being good. Doesn't stop him from asking for it constantly, though.
One of the highlights of the day, though, was sitting and snuggling with him for his post-nap snack. He sat with me and watched the MLS game on TV (from Portland), and was such a sweet, lovely little boy for that whole time. I even took a picture of us. And he even smiled...even if I look pretty rough from being in the pool!
Although we had some nice moments over the weekend, there is still this prevailing issue of Jacob testing us at every turn, crying hysterically when he doesn't get his way, and fighting us over random stuff. Oh, and he had two significant accidents in a row on Saturday. The plastic pants contained most of it, but the one was bad enough that not even that could hold it. Disappointing. I just can't figure out what is causing the constant tantrums, or what's causing the accidents. He knows he shouldn't pee in his pants, but he does anyway. Not often, but once in a while and in a big way. It makes a daycare underwear attempt a little too risky still. Ugh. I don't want to have to take vacation to train him, because I'd rather use it for real vacation, but I might be running out of options and time. God knows the next couple weekends are not going to be ideal for potty training. The tantrums are a whole other issue, one that probably has something to do with a lack of time at home with us, and probably just three-year-old independence exertion in general. It's been pretty brutal but I'm trying to stay consistent and hope it passes sometime soon.
All in all, it was a nice weekend with a few bumps in the road. Another busy week is ahead...
Friday we were heading out to the Red Wings game, mostly because the Zooperstars were performing that night. After how much he ended up enjoying them at the Amerks' game (and talked about them incessantly for weeks), we figured he'd like to see them at a baseball game, too. They were also doing fireworks, which was nice since we didn't get to see any real fireworks (beyond what our neighbors were shooting off) for the 4th. Before we left, Craig showed Jacob something that he would be raffling off the following night--a Major League Lacrosse helmet:
Saturday morning was pretty lazy. I was feeling a little better from the nasty cold I picked up last week, but I ended up lounging on the couch for quite a while because one of my all-time favorite movies, Parenthood, was on, and I couldn't pull myself away from it! Definitely interesting to watch now that I am a parent! We were planning on seeing my parents at some point Saturday, as they were in town to see their friends and go to the Corn Hill Arts Festival. We were originally hoping to meet them there, but in the end nap time overlapped it and it just made more sense to stay home until they came to our house afterward. But from the time Jacob went down for his nap, I was a cleaning/organizing machine. It all started with the collapse of the little wardrobe I had in the basement holding my off-season clothes. It got a little bent when something fell against it at our old house, and though it had been tipping ever since, it took until the other day for it to actually fall. I bought a new one but was pondering changing up the setup of the two shelves and the wardrobe that comprised the only tall storage we have in the basement. In the end everything stayed in place, except for the one shelf which I decided would be better used in the garage. So...I had to reorganize what had been messily stored on two shelves into one. I assembled the wardobe, moved my clothes in, vacuumed the dust off the crawl space floor and the cobwebs from the rest of that area, and then started working in the garage. My parents came in the middle of that and we had a nice rest/chat before heading off to dinner (minus Craig, who had a work thing, the one that involved raffling off the helmet). When we got back, my parents played with Jacob and I finished up my organizing in the garage. In the end, I ended up with an organized shelf full of stuff, including two previously discarded laundry baskets full of Jacob's balls and sports equipment; a better placement for my garbage bag on wheels (used for weeding and other yard cleanup); more space for Jacob's bigwheel, wagon and bubble mower; and just a generally more organized garage. And with help from my dad, an out-of-commission backup trimmer was fixed, and a problematic assembly job (a cart that came with our lawn mower--I messed up one step of assembly and was stuck with a stripped screw) was ready to be put back on track. Considering I'd been waiting over a year to do all of that stuff, it felt AMAZING to get it done. Hence why I just relived it by posting it here. Sorry if that was boring...but it was THE big victory of my weekend.
Sunday I knew we had to get up for church, as our attendance has been sketchy over the summer (lots of trips and one illness mainly to blame), and I was beat when the alarm clock went off. Jacob slept in until about 9am (we had to leave at 9:30), yet we still managed to get there on time. And we sat in church and he was a very good boy. Thank goodness. That may or may not have had something to do with the bribe of going on the church playground afterward, which we did. He went on the thing below, and climbed around the main playset a bit. He even went down a couple slides solo, which for our slide-phobic child was a big deal.
The heat was intense, though, so we left pretty quickly, stopped at the bank and Wegmans, then headed home for lunch and nap. Jacob's nap was terribly short. However, during that time we still managed to watch the US Women win their World Cup game and hang out in the pool for bit. When Jacob woke up, I was feeling inspired by the win and decided to give Jacob a little treat. I brought out a gift he got for his last birthday, a full soccer uniform for Team USA (from last year's World Cup--Nike, of course), courtesy of Uncle John, Aunt Kristin, and Kate. It was still a little big on him, but he loved it...especially the tall socks.
One of the highlights of the day, though, was sitting and snuggling with him for his post-nap snack. He sat with me and watched the MLS game on TV (from Portland), and was such a sweet, lovely little boy for that whole time. I even took a picture of us. And he even smiled...even if I look pretty rough from being in the pool!
All in all, it was a nice weekend with a few bumps in the road. Another busy week is ahead...
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Transitions
Have I mentioned that Jacob is desperately missing his old classroom? He moved up to the three-year-old room last week, and ever since it's been a constant struggle to convince him he needs to stay there. He asks for his old teachers and misses his friends. He talks about how he doesn't want to go on the yellow playground (the bigger one outside at daycare--must only be for the threes and up).
In general, every morning we have the same batch of struggles. He doesn't want to go to daycare. And no, it's not a panicked "I hate it there" sort of thing. I think he genuinely just wants more time at home to play with his toys and go outside to play sports. I can't blame him one bit. We don't want to go to work either, obviously, but we have to, which we explain to him nearly every day.
Next up is that he wants to wear big boy underwear. Other than his two major accidents and one little one over the weekend, he's been pretty good at staying dry. I do try to remind him to go, but he does volunteer sometimes. He does well in the evenings, and we've been using the plastic pants as a backup just in case. However, those two accidents were biggies, and I can imagine that daycare wouldn't be too thrilled to have to clean up that mess on their carpet. They have scheduled potty runs there, so perhaps he'd be fine, but it still worries me. I have no major need to get Jacob night-and-nap trained right away--he'll get there eventually--but daytime trained would be outstanding. And for the record--and yes, this may jinx us--he's never pooped in his underwear. We did have a slightly awkward incident over the weekend where he pooped and tried to wipe himself, though. Even I'm not that good at wiping him, so you can imagine how he did. Oy. But he wants the big boy underwear every day and puts up a fight if we try to put a pull-up on him. I chalk it up to daycare's rules and try to convince him that he has to keep practicing and he'll get there eventually. One of these days I may just send him with big boy undies, the plastic pants, one backup pair (he's already got pants there) and hope for the best. I'd imagine being with the big kids is good motivation, so I don't really want to push him off for too much longer--gotta strike while the iron is hot!
Our third battle is the classroom one. He's constantly begging for "Miss Pammy's room", and who can blame him? He visited the threes a few times, and suddenly he left behind all but one of his classmates (the girl he shares a birthday with came too) to go to a new room. He'd already spent time in that room in the evenings, and it's a really cool room--new toys, a couple turtles, cool cubbies--and there's even a couple kids in there that were in his class a while back, before they moved up. But he really misses his old room, his old teachers, and his friends. It's a big switch. We don't seem to get as much info about him on a daily basis (frustrating given the potty training situation, as the old daily sheets did provide potty use info), but we haven't gotten any negative reports so perhaps this has thrown him off enough that he is listening better and behaving better. Perhaps shoe throwing is a thing of the past. We can only hope.
Being in a class with older kids is definitely a bit of a double-edged sword. He's younger than the youngest kids by three months, and there are kids a full year older than him still in the room. That's a BIG gap when you're three. Jacob's a good talker, but I'd have to imagine his skills will be refined considerably in the next year. In general, I'd have to think the kids are far more advanced cognitively and even physically. And while it's good for him to see things like that so he knows what he should aim for, I do worry that the big kids won't want to hang with the little kid or that it'll all be a little above him for a bit. And, of course, there's always the chance he'll learn some less-than-charming behavior from those older kids, too. Being one of only a few kids in pull-ups can't be ideal either, but I still don't know if his accidents are mental (too busy playing, for example) or physical (bladder isn't ready). He can do it at times, which makes me think it's mental, but it's hard to know for sure because he definitely knows he shouldn't do it.
I guess it's sort of like the quandary when kids are born near the cutoff for school--hold your kid back so they're among the oldest, or send them young and hope they catch up quickly. We don't have that choice in this scenario, of course, so we just have to make it work. It's just hard when your kid struggles and they have every right to, but there's still not much that can be done. He's seen his old teachers the last two mornings, and I told them both how much he misses them. I also told him to ask his new teachers if he could visit his old friends. I don't know if they'd say yes, but it's worth a shot. I'm all for using this as a personal growth experience (notice I'm not demanding they send him back until his friends are ready), but still, the kid is three. In his mind, his last classroom is probably all he remembers ever being in, so it's no wonder it's a big change for him. But I still think he deserves a chance to ease in a bit, and anything that helps him transition sounds good to me.
It's funny, but probably the biggest difference between this transition and previous ones is that this is probably the first one where he can really talk to us about it. Before he could cry and act out, but this time we know what's bothering him and can do what can do help him through it. Our little boy is definitely growing up, one step at a time.
In general, every morning we have the same batch of struggles. He doesn't want to go to daycare. And no, it's not a panicked "I hate it there" sort of thing. I think he genuinely just wants more time at home to play with his toys and go outside to play sports. I can't blame him one bit. We don't want to go to work either, obviously, but we have to, which we explain to him nearly every day.
Next up is that he wants to wear big boy underwear. Other than his two major accidents and one little one over the weekend, he's been pretty good at staying dry. I do try to remind him to go, but he does volunteer sometimes. He does well in the evenings, and we've been using the plastic pants as a backup just in case. However, those two accidents were biggies, and I can imagine that daycare wouldn't be too thrilled to have to clean up that mess on their carpet. They have scheduled potty runs there, so perhaps he'd be fine, but it still worries me. I have no major need to get Jacob night-and-nap trained right away--he'll get there eventually--but daytime trained would be outstanding. And for the record--and yes, this may jinx us--he's never pooped in his underwear. We did have a slightly awkward incident over the weekend where he pooped and tried to wipe himself, though. Even I'm not that good at wiping him, so you can imagine how he did. Oy. But he wants the big boy underwear every day and puts up a fight if we try to put a pull-up on him. I chalk it up to daycare's rules and try to convince him that he has to keep practicing and he'll get there eventually. One of these days I may just send him with big boy undies, the plastic pants, one backup pair (he's already got pants there) and hope for the best. I'd imagine being with the big kids is good motivation, so I don't really want to push him off for too much longer--gotta strike while the iron is hot!
Our third battle is the classroom one. He's constantly begging for "Miss Pammy's room", and who can blame him? He visited the threes a few times, and suddenly he left behind all but one of his classmates (the girl he shares a birthday with came too) to go to a new room. He'd already spent time in that room in the evenings, and it's a really cool room--new toys, a couple turtles, cool cubbies--and there's even a couple kids in there that were in his class a while back, before they moved up. But he really misses his old room, his old teachers, and his friends. It's a big switch. We don't seem to get as much info about him on a daily basis (frustrating given the potty training situation, as the old daily sheets did provide potty use info), but we haven't gotten any negative reports so perhaps this has thrown him off enough that he is listening better and behaving better. Perhaps shoe throwing is a thing of the past. We can only hope.
Being in a class with older kids is definitely a bit of a double-edged sword. He's younger than the youngest kids by three months, and there are kids a full year older than him still in the room. That's a BIG gap when you're three. Jacob's a good talker, but I'd have to imagine his skills will be refined considerably in the next year. In general, I'd have to think the kids are far more advanced cognitively and even physically. And while it's good for him to see things like that so he knows what he should aim for, I do worry that the big kids won't want to hang with the little kid or that it'll all be a little above him for a bit. And, of course, there's always the chance he'll learn some less-than-charming behavior from those older kids, too. Being one of only a few kids in pull-ups can't be ideal either, but I still don't know if his accidents are mental (too busy playing, for example) or physical (bladder isn't ready). He can do it at times, which makes me think it's mental, but it's hard to know for sure because he definitely knows he shouldn't do it.
I guess it's sort of like the quandary when kids are born near the cutoff for school--hold your kid back so they're among the oldest, or send them young and hope they catch up quickly. We don't have that choice in this scenario, of course, so we just have to make it work. It's just hard when your kid struggles and they have every right to, but there's still not much that can be done. He's seen his old teachers the last two mornings, and I told them both how much he misses them. I also told him to ask his new teachers if he could visit his old friends. I don't know if they'd say yes, but it's worth a shot. I'm all for using this as a personal growth experience (notice I'm not demanding they send him back until his friends are ready), but still, the kid is three. In his mind, his last classroom is probably all he remembers ever being in, so it's no wonder it's a big change for him. But I still think he deserves a chance to ease in a bit, and anything that helps him transition sounds good to me.
It's funny, but probably the biggest difference between this transition and previous ones is that this is probably the first one where he can really talk to us about it. Before he could cry and act out, but this time we know what's bothering him and can do what can do help him through it. Our little boy is definitely growing up, one step at a time.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Babies on the Brain...again.
Ok, I'm really starting to think that my feelings about having another baby are seriously impacted by my monthly cycle. I mean, yes, chances are we're going to have another baby one way or another, but my confidence in the whole process seems to ebb and flow right along with my hormones. One week it seems like the best thing ever and we need to get on it right away, and the next week it's like, eh, what's the rush? Usually the indifference tends to coincide with some sort of monumental Jacob meltdown or other sort of frustrating situation that makes me wonder how on earth we'll manage two.
When I'm not in baby mode, I think about the sleepless nights, projectile bodily fluids, the pure exhaustion of pregnancy and beyond, and obsession about everything from the baby's health to being caught in public with a diaper blowout. I remember the crippling fear of SIDS and the insane frustration of a screaming baby with no apparent cause. I wonder how on earth I'll push through the exhaustion to attend to two kids, when right now one three-year-old tires me out despite getting a full (albeit too short) night's sleep.
I do really want a girl this time and worry about disappointment if it doesn't happen. I'll obviously love my boys and enjoy their brotherly relationship immensely, but it's certainly something I think about. I worry about a breaking point mentally--when it all might get to be too much. I think about the blow it will be to our finances to handle two loads of daycare along with all the other baby essentials. I worry about the guilt of working and leaving behind not one, but two kids. I wonder about Jacob's adjustment period and how we'll prevent him from playing sports too close to his new sibling. Long story short, it's easy to get overwhelmed.
On the other hand, when I'm in baby mode, I remember the sweet little baby faces and noises and stretches, and how Jacob could sleep through anything on our schedule, regardless of the time or place, nestled comfortably in his car seat. I remember the tiny clothes and tiny fingers and toes, the simplicity of breastmilk as the only food option and the bliss of a child that didn't talk back. I think about how cute it would be to watch Jacob be a good big brother, and watch the kids interact as they get older. We're not learning everything from scratch this time, so hopefully we'll worry less and enjoy it more.
Despite all the tough stuff, I can't help but be excited by the prospect. But again, I know that for all its hard parts (aches, pains, swelling, hearburn, nausea, stress), pregnancy is this happy la-la land where you get all of the excitement and anticipation without the physical, mental and emotional toll that caring for a newborn entails. And, of course, there's that tiny detail about how it all ends. But even still, I look back fondly on a lot of elements of pregnancy...mostly feeling the baby move and kick, all of the excitement and preparations, the well-wishes, and just the general feeling that you've got this huge purpose in life, every second of every day, as your body cares for a helpless little human. Why that feeling wears off a bit once the baby arrives, I'm not sure, because God knows it only gets more intense and more important after the baby is born.
Looking ahead I do wonder how I should blog it this time around. Last time I didn't start blogging until we officially announced the pregnancy--we spread the word at Christmas and I started the blog a few days later--but this time I have a couple options:
1) I could be open and honest about every little step--our timeframe, each step toward it, problems we encounter, the positive test right when it happens--but that's obviously sharing a LOT and potentially getting everyone excited before it's "safe" (if that's ever the case) to be excited. I do fear a miscarriage. I'm getting a little older and you just never know what your body is going to do. It can leave some pretty hefty emotional scars and be such a letdown. Also, I have a pretty solid timeframe in my head, and a miscarriage obviously throws all that off. Really, that's mostly for practical purposes of using the same maternity clothes and having the right season's clothes fit at the right time if we have another boy. Small issue, but you know...it all adds up. While it's a bit of an emotional risk, I don't think honesty is such a bad thing. Lots of people suffer with (and blog about) infertility struggles, including miscarriages. If it's something someone is struggling with, there's no reason that it shouldn't be discussed...either as therapy for the writer or to help others know that they're not alone. But it begs the question...if those are the worst things that could happen and I'm planning on talking about them here if they happen, then why not just start talking from the beginning? After all, if I get pregnant right away and stay pregnant, why not maximize the celebration? :)
2) I could keep it all quiet again and surprise everyone once it's common knowledge. Obviously that keeps it as a more private issue when it's at its most sensitive, and provides a prime opportunity for a BIG announcement. However, I'm not sure how I'm going to keep from complaining about the exhaustion or nausea that will inevitably befall me for a few months before the cat is let out of the bag. Whenever a blogger I read announces a pregnancy, I always think back to see if I missed any signs of it. Most of the time they're pretty slick, but I think they have enough topics to talk about that what they're dealing with never needs to come up. I'm not sure if I can pull it off or not. It will seem a little funny ot not be able to talk about it here. I remember the feeling of living a "double life" when I was pregnant last time, during the month and a half that we knew but hadn't shared the news with more than a few people. It seemed so crazy to have this huge thing going on that was in our thoughts all the time, but to have to live like it was any other day. I can only imagine how that feeling will be magnified if I don't blog about it.
In the end I suppose we'll just play it by ear. If things start taking a while, I might start talking about it. Likewise, if we do have to deal with a miscarriage, it'll probably come up here, too...even if the pregnancy was never discussed prior. We'll see how long I can hold off and stick to talking around the subject...not about it.
So anyway, despite all my reservations, I know we'll figure it out and get through it. There may be tears and yelling, laughs and smiles, but we will figure it out. One day at a time, one blog post at a time, one kid at a time. Stay tuned...
When I'm not in baby mode, I think about the sleepless nights, projectile bodily fluids, the pure exhaustion of pregnancy and beyond, and obsession about everything from the baby's health to being caught in public with a diaper blowout. I remember the crippling fear of SIDS and the insane frustration of a screaming baby with no apparent cause. I wonder how on earth I'll push through the exhaustion to attend to two kids, when right now one three-year-old tires me out despite getting a full (albeit too short) night's sleep.
I do really want a girl this time and worry about disappointment if it doesn't happen. I'll obviously love my boys and enjoy their brotherly relationship immensely, but it's certainly something I think about. I worry about a breaking point mentally--when it all might get to be too much. I think about the blow it will be to our finances to handle two loads of daycare along with all the other baby essentials. I worry about the guilt of working and leaving behind not one, but two kids. I wonder about Jacob's adjustment period and how we'll prevent him from playing sports too close to his new sibling. Long story short, it's easy to get overwhelmed.
On the other hand, when I'm in baby mode, I remember the sweet little baby faces and noises and stretches, and how Jacob could sleep through anything on our schedule, regardless of the time or place, nestled comfortably in his car seat. I remember the tiny clothes and tiny fingers and toes, the simplicity of breastmilk as the only food option and the bliss of a child that didn't talk back. I think about how cute it would be to watch Jacob be a good big brother, and watch the kids interact as they get older. We're not learning everything from scratch this time, so hopefully we'll worry less and enjoy it more.
Despite all the tough stuff, I can't help but be excited by the prospect. But again, I know that for all its hard parts (aches, pains, swelling, hearburn, nausea, stress), pregnancy is this happy la-la land where you get all of the excitement and anticipation without the physical, mental and emotional toll that caring for a newborn entails. And, of course, there's that tiny detail about how it all ends. But even still, I look back fondly on a lot of elements of pregnancy...mostly feeling the baby move and kick, all of the excitement and preparations, the well-wishes, and just the general feeling that you've got this huge purpose in life, every second of every day, as your body cares for a helpless little human. Why that feeling wears off a bit once the baby arrives, I'm not sure, because God knows it only gets more intense and more important after the baby is born.
Looking ahead I do wonder how I should blog it this time around. Last time I didn't start blogging until we officially announced the pregnancy--we spread the word at Christmas and I started the blog a few days later--but this time I have a couple options:
1) I could be open and honest about every little step--our timeframe, each step toward it, problems we encounter, the positive test right when it happens--but that's obviously sharing a LOT and potentially getting everyone excited before it's "safe" (if that's ever the case) to be excited. I do fear a miscarriage. I'm getting a little older and you just never know what your body is going to do. It can leave some pretty hefty emotional scars and be such a letdown. Also, I have a pretty solid timeframe in my head, and a miscarriage obviously throws all that off. Really, that's mostly for practical purposes of using the same maternity clothes and having the right season's clothes fit at the right time if we have another boy. Small issue, but you know...it all adds up. While it's a bit of an emotional risk, I don't think honesty is such a bad thing. Lots of people suffer with (and blog about) infertility struggles, including miscarriages. If it's something someone is struggling with, there's no reason that it shouldn't be discussed...either as therapy for the writer or to help others know that they're not alone. But it begs the question...if those are the worst things that could happen and I'm planning on talking about them here if they happen, then why not just start talking from the beginning? After all, if I get pregnant right away and stay pregnant, why not maximize the celebration? :)
2) I could keep it all quiet again and surprise everyone once it's common knowledge. Obviously that keeps it as a more private issue when it's at its most sensitive, and provides a prime opportunity for a BIG announcement. However, I'm not sure how I'm going to keep from complaining about the exhaustion or nausea that will inevitably befall me for a few months before the cat is let out of the bag. Whenever a blogger I read announces a pregnancy, I always think back to see if I missed any signs of it. Most of the time they're pretty slick, but I think they have enough topics to talk about that what they're dealing with never needs to come up. I'm not sure if I can pull it off or not. It will seem a little funny ot not be able to talk about it here. I remember the feeling of living a "double life" when I was pregnant last time, during the month and a half that we knew but hadn't shared the news with more than a few people. It seemed so crazy to have this huge thing going on that was in our thoughts all the time, but to have to live like it was any other day. I can only imagine how that feeling will be magnified if I don't blog about it.
In the end I suppose we'll just play it by ear. If things start taking a while, I might start talking about it. Likewise, if we do have to deal with a miscarriage, it'll probably come up here, too...even if the pregnancy was never discussed prior. We'll see how long I can hold off and stick to talking around the subject...not about it.
So anyway, despite all my reservations, I know we'll figure it out and get through it. There may be tears and yelling, laughs and smiles, but we will figure it out. One day at a time, one blog post at a time, one kid at a time. Stay tuned...
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Ending on a High Note
After a less-than-enjoyable Saturday night and Sunday, I was eager to make the most of our Monday. Jacob allowed us to sleep until nearly 8am, which was a great start. We had a lazy morning but got ready to head out to our favorite weekday-off lunch spot, the Pizza Hut buffet. Alas, they weren't doing the buffet for the holiday, so we were out of luck. We couldn't really decide where else to go, and a Jacob meltdown made the decision to go home, eat there, and go out for dinner. We did a quick lunch at home, and then put Jacob down around 1:15. He was quiet right away, and I headed out to do some yardwork. I needed to finish some trimming, and once I was done about an hour later, I headed in to change into my bathing suit and enjoy some time in the pool. We'd put the solar cover on after Saturday's swim because the water was a little cold, and when we took it off, it was darn near perfect. It was pleasantly warm and perfect in the hot weather. Craig and I spent a good hour or so just floating and chatting. It was seriously perfect. We headed back in the house at a time we figured would give us enough time to get dried off and changed in time for Jacob to wake up so we could head out for our evening activities. Amazingly, we had more than enough time. Jacob ended up sleeping over three hours! That almost never happens. That extra hour is a pretty phenomenal thing--always so unexpected, a pleasant bonus when you need to get things done, and such a good feeling since you know your child is getting some much needed rest.
He woke up relatively happy and we headed out for a few stops, some of which ended up not actually happening since a couple of our stops closed early for the holiday. We did manage to return the ill-fated bed rail that didn't work on Jacob's crib, and we grabbed some dinner before heading closer to home and going to the mini-golf place that we pass by nearly every day. Jacob frequently points it out, though I was holding off on mini-golf after our unfortunate attempt back in the early spring. Still, he seemed like he might be ready to try again. It was the perfect evening for it and provided a fun activity to make up for the fact that we weren't going to the fireworks that night. Fireworks are just too late on a school night. Maybe another year when Jacob isn't quite so dependent on sleep to be a functional human being.
He was much better this time around. He held his putter much better and followed the rules a little better. He still tended to want to replay holes and frequently picked up his ball to try again or move it. He did a lot more "sweeping" than putting, but when he did putt, he wasn't half bad. Seriously. In fact, he beat both of us on TWO holes. And honestly, we're not that bad. Both holes were certainly dumb luck, but still, he had it and we didn't! One hole he putted, got his ball past five golf ball obstacles hanging by chains, and clunk...the ball went in! Hole in one! Even I didn't get a hole in one. He also got a legit two on another hole that Craig and I had a bit of trouble on. It was pretty crazy. Here are a couple shots from the round:
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| Looking good! |
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| Happy boy with the BLUE ball he was talking about the whole way there... |
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| Action shot! Loved his expression. I actually think this was the hole-in-one shot! |
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| With his hole-in-one ball...but it isn't the same as the old Putt-Putt days when you could get an orange ball if the lights on the clubhouse happened to be the same color as your ball! |
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| I attempted to get a family shot via the self-timer, and it was two-thirds successful. Jacob, on the other hand, was distracted by something. As usual. |
Back to reality today, though. Another busy week ahead...
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Weekend News and Notes
It's been a bit of an up-and-down weekend. As usual, Jacob has had his moments, but he has had some really good times, too, playing nicely and just being extra goofy. Some of the things he says these days....well, some of them are extra cute, some of them are not-so-cute, and some of them are downright bizarre. Sometimes he's getting a little too bold for our liking, defying our rules and requests, and laughing in the face of correction. So frustrating. He tends to be a little overzealous sometimes, thinking he's being funny by poking you with something, touching your face, or something similar, but it's really quite annoying and can even hurt. Not sure what possesses him to get like that, but it happens a lot. It's too bad, too, because I don't think he's trying to be bad, but that's how it ends up.
We had a good time Friday night while Craig was in Hamilton, having a delicious dinner of blueberry pancakes (first time I ever made them) and playing tee ball in the front yard. Craig ended up coming home after the game, which was a late night surprise for me, and while it was nice that we didn't have to wait for him to come home Saturday, it did make him a little extra tired all day. I decided to work on potty training this weekend since we had three straight days at home without much to do, and Jacob did well all day. He had a pull-up for nap, but woke up dry, and his big boy undies stayed dry other than one little drop that he must have felt and ran to the bathroom. I thought maybe that turned on the light bulb for him--you know, knowing he had to go and stopping himself in time to run--but our evening proved otherwise. When he went down for his nap, I went outside and did some much-needed hedge trimming, and by the time I came in and got ready to jump in the pool, Jacob was up. Fortunately I did get to sneak into the pool, though I ended up vacuuming it instead of relaxing, because it was desperately needed. We just can't seem to beat these little patches of dirt that keep collecting. We went out for a quick dinner (our first outing in only big boy underwear, no plastic pants), and that went well. However, once we came home, Jacob ran into the kitchen for something and came back out asking for new underwear--which always means he peed in his. Sure enough, he peed his pants in the kitchen. The good news is that it was easy cleanup. The bad news is that our dry day was foiled. Emphatically. I finished the evening sitting on our porch with my laptop, watching three different illegal fireworks displays while doing research on our potential summer vacation.
Shortly after going to bed, I was roused by an odd sensation...almost like I was going to be sick, initially, then just an odd taste in my throat and eventually stomach pain and general discomfort. I couldn't kick it, and I couldn't fall asleep. For a short time I thought I might throw up, but fortunately it all stayed south. Still, I was pretty miserable and didn't end up getting any decent sleep until at least 5am. Even then it wasn't great and Jacob was up by 7:30. He kicked off the morning by peeing his pants right on the living room rug--first asking for new underwear and then apparently letting enough go that it started dripping on the rug--which frustrated me to the point that he was in diapers/pull-ups for the rest of the day. I just couldn't deal today even though that was probably the last response I should have had. I have no idea if his bladder just can't deal, or if he gets distracted, or he just doesn't get it yet. Even after accidents he insists on new underwear, but we're trying to get him to understand that he can't wear them unless he's willing to be a big boy, use the potty, and keep them dry. And while he seems to know it, it just doesn't work. So much for a dry weekend and wearing underwear to daycare.
I got a little extra rest here and there today, including after Jacob's nap (which may have been an hour or less--he woke up having pooped (a little soft himself--let's hope it was coincidence) and never went back to sleep) when Craig took him to a baseball field for over an hour and a half. Still, my stomach didn't seem to improve until this evening. Dinner didn't elicit too many rumbles, and we went out for ice cream afterward (I wanted to do something fun today), and while I stuck with a non-dairy choice, it did seem to settle ok. Let's hope tomorrow is better.
It's a definite bummer to lose one day of a three-day weekend not feeling good. I'm hoping we can do something fun tomorrow. And yes, we will try underwear again...just with his plastic pants over them. Hopefully I'll have enough energy to get some things done and still get in a little pool time. Hopefully I'll also pull out the camera and get a couple pictures. Overall it's been a low key weekend, which is fine, but I like to get a little bang for the buck on a weekend like this.
Oh, and I also found out about a good friend's pregnancy via Facebook this weekend--only it wasn't her status update, it was her husband's. I know social media changes things, and maybe I have no right to complain because she found out about mine via email when I was about three months along. There were some odd circumstances that led to that, but even still, it wasn't ideal then. This definitely seems to indicate that our friendship isn't quite what it once was. It could just be a pure accident that her husband let it out of the bag before she had told who she needed to. But it was a bit of a bummer to find out that way, even if I am super happy for them. If nothing else, hopefully this will give the girls an excuse to get together again. And now that Craig's schedule will be a little less demanding in the fall, there should be time for it.
So, anyway, we'll see how tomorrow goes...and then on to another week...
We had a good time Friday night while Craig was in Hamilton, having a delicious dinner of blueberry pancakes (first time I ever made them) and playing tee ball in the front yard. Craig ended up coming home after the game, which was a late night surprise for me, and while it was nice that we didn't have to wait for him to come home Saturday, it did make him a little extra tired all day. I decided to work on potty training this weekend since we had three straight days at home without much to do, and Jacob did well all day. He had a pull-up for nap, but woke up dry, and his big boy undies stayed dry other than one little drop that he must have felt and ran to the bathroom. I thought maybe that turned on the light bulb for him--you know, knowing he had to go and stopping himself in time to run--but our evening proved otherwise. When he went down for his nap, I went outside and did some much-needed hedge trimming, and by the time I came in and got ready to jump in the pool, Jacob was up. Fortunately I did get to sneak into the pool, though I ended up vacuuming it instead of relaxing, because it was desperately needed. We just can't seem to beat these little patches of dirt that keep collecting. We went out for a quick dinner (our first outing in only big boy underwear, no plastic pants), and that went well. However, once we came home, Jacob ran into the kitchen for something and came back out asking for new underwear--which always means he peed in his. Sure enough, he peed his pants in the kitchen. The good news is that it was easy cleanup. The bad news is that our dry day was foiled. Emphatically. I finished the evening sitting on our porch with my laptop, watching three different illegal fireworks displays while doing research on our potential summer vacation.
Shortly after going to bed, I was roused by an odd sensation...almost like I was going to be sick, initially, then just an odd taste in my throat and eventually stomach pain and general discomfort. I couldn't kick it, and I couldn't fall asleep. For a short time I thought I might throw up, but fortunately it all stayed south. Still, I was pretty miserable and didn't end up getting any decent sleep until at least 5am. Even then it wasn't great and Jacob was up by 7:30. He kicked off the morning by peeing his pants right on the living room rug--first asking for new underwear and then apparently letting enough go that it started dripping on the rug--which frustrated me to the point that he was in diapers/pull-ups for the rest of the day. I just couldn't deal today even though that was probably the last response I should have had. I have no idea if his bladder just can't deal, or if he gets distracted, or he just doesn't get it yet. Even after accidents he insists on new underwear, but we're trying to get him to understand that he can't wear them unless he's willing to be a big boy, use the potty, and keep them dry. And while he seems to know it, it just doesn't work. So much for a dry weekend and wearing underwear to daycare.
I got a little extra rest here and there today, including after Jacob's nap (which may have been an hour or less--he woke up having pooped (a little soft himself--let's hope it was coincidence) and never went back to sleep) when Craig took him to a baseball field for over an hour and a half. Still, my stomach didn't seem to improve until this evening. Dinner didn't elicit too many rumbles, and we went out for ice cream afterward (I wanted to do something fun today), and while I stuck with a non-dairy choice, it did seem to settle ok. Let's hope tomorrow is better.
It's a definite bummer to lose one day of a three-day weekend not feeling good. I'm hoping we can do something fun tomorrow. And yes, we will try underwear again...just with his plastic pants over them. Hopefully I'll have enough energy to get some things done and still get in a little pool time. Hopefully I'll also pull out the camera and get a couple pictures. Overall it's been a low key weekend, which is fine, but I like to get a little bang for the buck on a weekend like this.
Oh, and I also found out about a good friend's pregnancy via Facebook this weekend--only it wasn't her status update, it was her husband's. I know social media changes things, and maybe I have no right to complain because she found out about mine via email when I was about three months along. There were some odd circumstances that led to that, but even still, it wasn't ideal then. This definitely seems to indicate that our friendship isn't quite what it once was. It could just be a pure accident that her husband let it out of the bag before she had told who she needed to. But it was a bit of a bummer to find out that way, even if I am super happy for them. If nothing else, hopefully this will give the girls an excuse to get together again. And now that Craig's schedule will be a little less demanding in the fall, there should be time for it.
So, anyway, we'll see how tomorrow goes...and then on to another week...
Friday, July 1, 2011
Looking for the bright side...
So, the last couple days haven't been the greatest. Craig didn't have a good feeling about how the staff reorganization was going to go in the wake of the Sabres' purchase of the Amerks. He didn't feel like his "interview" was truly an interview (they asked more questions about the department than what he did) and they seemed generally distracted throughout. He had an inkling that they had earmarked a guy that already worked for the Sabres for his position. The guy was once one of Craig's interns and has gone on to jobs with a couple NHL teams. He also lives in Rochester, so it make perfect sense. Sure enough, he got the job. The stringing along wasn't cool, however, and neither was the fact that they decided at the last minute to create a position for Craig's assistant. How a guy that works his butt off all the time, after hours, on weekends, etc., ends up on the outs, I don't know. Not to take anything away from the other guys, but I can almost guarantee that Craig would do as much work as both of those guys combined, for obviously considerably less than they'll be paying those two. That's just how he is. He doesn't stop until the work's done, and unfortunately, in his job it pretty much never was. Ironic, however, that during his 12-year Amerk career, Craig trained no less than four people that went on to work under the Sabres' umbrella. Hmmm.
I'm not gonna lie, it's a little sad. I mean, everything is abuzz here now. Hockey had become a bit irrelevant in this town, and suddenly it's on the front of the paper and everyone's clamoring for the $10/game season tickets the Sabres instituted. It would have been fun to be a part of it. And I was all excited to really care about the Sabres again (not that I didn't before, but I've had mixed emotions since the Amerks-Sabres divorce a while back), and now I'm a little miffed again. Maybe that will ease a bit with time, but it's really unfortunate nonetheless. It's hard to watch your spouse get the shaft, knowing the heart, soul, sacrifice and dedication he put in every single day.
The good news is that he's not out of a job. He's still with the Knighthawks, though exactly how his job will be structured and what his salary will be is still in question. My biggest fear, of course, is that they'll lowball him on salary. If that happens, it's going to make everything just a bit harder...not the least of which is the goal to have baby #2 in the works by later this year. That extra $11K in daycare costs (and that's being conservative) was going to be a struggle enough...let alone if we're down a few more thousand in salary. My hope is that they'll have him take on additional responsibility (much of which he probably did unofficially before anyway) since the staff will be pretty small, and consider his expertise worthy of a decent salary. Let's hope...though nothing has really worked out ideally in this so far. I'm trying to keep the faith, though, that something will have to work out in our favor eventually. The other variable here is that the Knighthawks' future in Rochester is iffy--issues with the arena lease, mostly--and if they leave, he's pretty much screwed. We should have a couple years to figure it out, though, and a lot can happen in that time.
So, in an effort to embrace this new twist and/or turn in our lives, I'm trying to look at the good things about the situation...and yes, there are good things.
1) Craig has a job - In this economy, I'm just grateful he has a job at all. There was one guy out of the whole staff who didn't get an offer from either team, and believe me, I feel for that guy. Whether or not it was deserved is up for debate, but to be told neither team wants you has to be hard. At least one group values Craig's presence (just how much remains to be seen), and it's better than nothing at this point. And for the record, a situation like this is among the reasons why I left the teams and got a different job--because in the event of some major catastrophe, we didn't need both of us out of work. My old position did get picked up by the Sabres, but who knows in a situation like that what could have happened.
2) He'll be at work a lot less - He may not necessarily have less work to do (believe it or not) but there's 40 less games he'll need to physically be at, and a handful more that he won't have to follow when the team is on the road. He'll still have something going on most weekends from Thanksgiving to late May (between training camp, the regular season, and a playoff run), but it should just be one thing most weekends--one game or one roadtrip--rather than multiple games, or one home game and a roadtrip. I don't mind a little alone time (my chance to catch up on the DVR in the evenings!), so this sounds just about right.
3) Holidays shouldn't be as crunched - My job is pretty good about holiday time off. I get two days at Thanksgiving and usually a week at Christmas (a couple days of which we need to make up prior, but still). In the past, Craig has constantly been coming back to Rochester right away because there's almost always an Amerks game on the Friday after Thanksgiving and the day after Christmas. This year, that shouldn't be a problem. He might still have Knighthawks training camp to attend to, but that should be a bit more flexible. Being in Buffalo might actually be a benefit if practices are held up in Canada like they often are.
4) He'll be able to come to games with us - It was rare that we got to watch live sporting events together as a family. We've done a few soccer games here and there, and a couple lacrosse games, too. But most of the time, Craig's working and Jacob and I are in the stands. This year, assuming we hit up a few Amerks games, we'll be going as a family. It won't be quite as cheap (free was tough to beat, parking included), but it'll make it a special occasion and that will be fun, too. A throwback to my teen years, perhaps, when a Friday night hockey game was about the coolest thing ever.
5) He might get his creative juices flowing - Craig has always had way too much on his plate. He had all of his PR stuff to do for both teams (even five teams at one time), but always found himself having to be the lacrosse champion because no one wanted to focus on it. He'd come up with promotions and events to keep the Knighthawks visible, but inevitably they never got to be as great as he wanted them to be because there just weren't enough hours in the day or enough hands to help out. There may still not be enough hours or hands, but hopefully now he'll have a little more time to devote to those creative pursuits. Inevitably, those events end up being far more rewarding than the standard day-to-day work, so perhaps his job satisfaction will increase. Speaking of job satisfaction...
6) He'll get to keep his broadcasting job - Craig really loves broadcasting. I can just see the extra sparkle in his eye when it's a topic of conversation or when he happens to turn on a rebroadcast of a game. Having done TV myself (back in 2003-04 I hosted the teams' weekly TV show), I know how it feels to see the finished product--awkward yet strangely rewarding. Each one is like your own little work of art, flawed or not. I also know the amount of sadness I heard in his voice when he told Jacob he might not do it anymore. Had he become a full time Amerks employee, he would have had to give it up. The mere thought of someone else being the voice of the Knighthawks was a bit of a bummer, quite frankly, so this is one major bright spot. I like being able to listen to Craig's broadcasts, and I think it's cool for Jacob, too. It's another one of those subtle job satisfaction things--the ability to do something not everyone gets to do, but many aspire to do. It's fun.
7) He might find a better job - Given that the Knighthawks' long-term presence in Rochester is a bit of a question mark, I'd have to think that's strong motivation to keep an eye out for potential job openings elsewhere. Not that he wouldn't have done the same with the Amerks, of course--you always have to keep an eye out for what's best for your family--but with a possible end date on this job it makes it a little more urgent. If he would have gotten the Amerks job, I think there would have been a little more security in general, and less of an urgency to explore other options, even if in the long run getting a job outside of sports is the goal. I'd love to see Craig get a job that pays him what he's worth and that runs a little more in the 9-to-5 realm. I want him to like his job, of course, but I'd also love for him to be less busy, less stressed, and more available at key times. Maybe this is the first step toward something like that, whether he's with the Knighthawks or not. If not, perhaps having a little extra time will afford him the opportunity to teach like he's wanted to for so long, or even get his teaching certification or PhD so he'd have a little better choice of teaching jobs. However, I will need a lot of assurances before we add student loans or any sort of tuition to the bills!
No matter how things go, it's going to be an intesting time for us. At least we have a bright side to look for...now to just ignore the other stuff... ;-)
I'm not gonna lie, it's a little sad. I mean, everything is abuzz here now. Hockey had become a bit irrelevant in this town, and suddenly it's on the front of the paper and everyone's clamoring for the $10/game season tickets the Sabres instituted. It would have been fun to be a part of it. And I was all excited to really care about the Sabres again (not that I didn't before, but I've had mixed emotions since the Amerks-Sabres divorce a while back), and now I'm a little miffed again. Maybe that will ease a bit with time, but it's really unfortunate nonetheless. It's hard to watch your spouse get the shaft, knowing the heart, soul, sacrifice and dedication he put in every single day.
The good news is that he's not out of a job. He's still with the Knighthawks, though exactly how his job will be structured and what his salary will be is still in question. My biggest fear, of course, is that they'll lowball him on salary. If that happens, it's going to make everything just a bit harder...not the least of which is the goal to have baby #2 in the works by later this year. That extra $11K in daycare costs (and that's being conservative) was going to be a struggle enough...let alone if we're down a few more thousand in salary. My hope is that they'll have him take on additional responsibility (much of which he probably did unofficially before anyway) since the staff will be pretty small, and consider his expertise worthy of a decent salary. Let's hope...though nothing has really worked out ideally in this so far. I'm trying to keep the faith, though, that something will have to work out in our favor eventually. The other variable here is that the Knighthawks' future in Rochester is iffy--issues with the arena lease, mostly--and if they leave, he's pretty much screwed. We should have a couple years to figure it out, though, and a lot can happen in that time.
So, in an effort to embrace this new twist and/or turn in our lives, I'm trying to look at the good things about the situation...and yes, there are good things.
1) Craig has a job - In this economy, I'm just grateful he has a job at all. There was one guy out of the whole staff who didn't get an offer from either team, and believe me, I feel for that guy. Whether or not it was deserved is up for debate, but to be told neither team wants you has to be hard. At least one group values Craig's presence (just how much remains to be seen), and it's better than nothing at this point. And for the record, a situation like this is among the reasons why I left the teams and got a different job--because in the event of some major catastrophe, we didn't need both of us out of work. My old position did get picked up by the Sabres, but who knows in a situation like that what could have happened.
2) He'll be at work a lot less - He may not necessarily have less work to do (believe it or not) but there's 40 less games he'll need to physically be at, and a handful more that he won't have to follow when the team is on the road. He'll still have something going on most weekends from Thanksgiving to late May (between training camp, the regular season, and a playoff run), but it should just be one thing most weekends--one game or one roadtrip--rather than multiple games, or one home game and a roadtrip. I don't mind a little alone time (my chance to catch up on the DVR in the evenings!), so this sounds just about right.
3) Holidays shouldn't be as crunched - My job is pretty good about holiday time off. I get two days at Thanksgiving and usually a week at Christmas (a couple days of which we need to make up prior, but still). In the past, Craig has constantly been coming back to Rochester right away because there's almost always an Amerks game on the Friday after Thanksgiving and the day after Christmas. This year, that shouldn't be a problem. He might still have Knighthawks training camp to attend to, but that should be a bit more flexible. Being in Buffalo might actually be a benefit if practices are held up in Canada like they often are.
4) He'll be able to come to games with us - It was rare that we got to watch live sporting events together as a family. We've done a few soccer games here and there, and a couple lacrosse games, too. But most of the time, Craig's working and Jacob and I are in the stands. This year, assuming we hit up a few Amerks games, we'll be going as a family. It won't be quite as cheap (free was tough to beat, parking included), but it'll make it a special occasion and that will be fun, too. A throwback to my teen years, perhaps, when a Friday night hockey game was about the coolest thing ever.
5) He might get his creative juices flowing - Craig has always had way too much on his plate. He had all of his PR stuff to do for both teams (even five teams at one time), but always found himself having to be the lacrosse champion because no one wanted to focus on it. He'd come up with promotions and events to keep the Knighthawks visible, but inevitably they never got to be as great as he wanted them to be because there just weren't enough hours in the day or enough hands to help out. There may still not be enough hours or hands, but hopefully now he'll have a little more time to devote to those creative pursuits. Inevitably, those events end up being far more rewarding than the standard day-to-day work, so perhaps his job satisfaction will increase. Speaking of job satisfaction...
6) He'll get to keep his broadcasting job - Craig really loves broadcasting. I can just see the extra sparkle in his eye when it's a topic of conversation or when he happens to turn on a rebroadcast of a game. Having done TV myself (back in 2003-04 I hosted the teams' weekly TV show), I know how it feels to see the finished product--awkward yet strangely rewarding. Each one is like your own little work of art, flawed or not. I also know the amount of sadness I heard in his voice when he told Jacob he might not do it anymore. Had he become a full time Amerks employee, he would have had to give it up. The mere thought of someone else being the voice of the Knighthawks was a bit of a bummer, quite frankly, so this is one major bright spot. I like being able to listen to Craig's broadcasts, and I think it's cool for Jacob, too. It's another one of those subtle job satisfaction things--the ability to do something not everyone gets to do, but many aspire to do. It's fun.
7) He might find a better job - Given that the Knighthawks' long-term presence in Rochester is a bit of a question mark, I'd have to think that's strong motivation to keep an eye out for potential job openings elsewhere. Not that he wouldn't have done the same with the Amerks, of course--you always have to keep an eye out for what's best for your family--but with a possible end date on this job it makes it a little more urgent. If he would have gotten the Amerks job, I think there would have been a little more security in general, and less of an urgency to explore other options, even if in the long run getting a job outside of sports is the goal. I'd love to see Craig get a job that pays him what he's worth and that runs a little more in the 9-to-5 realm. I want him to like his job, of course, but I'd also love for him to be less busy, less stressed, and more available at key times. Maybe this is the first step toward something like that, whether he's with the Knighthawks or not. If not, perhaps having a little extra time will afford him the opportunity to teach like he's wanted to for so long, or even get his teaching certification or PhD so he'd have a little better choice of teaching jobs. However, I will need a lot of assurances before we add student loans or any sort of tuition to the bills!
No matter how things go, it's going to be an intesting time for us. At least we have a bright side to look for...now to just ignore the other stuff... ;-)
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