You know the saying, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy?" Bad grammar aside, I can definitely see how that can be the case. Though I tend to wonder when exactly that happens, because right now we're still at the point of, "If Jacob ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." I suppose that's because he's not quite tuned into my moods yet, so if I'm in a bad mood, he doesn't really notice. Craig, on the other hand....well, my apologies to him for when that happens. Anyway, it's really amazing how Jacob's moods can impact everything. And lately I've been noticing the good stuff a lot....thank goodness. Dinner is the one negative usually, and I guess I'm used to that by now. There are certain times of my day that Jacob makes so much better now that he's getting to be more of a little boy. Here's a quick rundown...
1) Getting him up - Usually Jacob wakes up on his own, generally happy and at a decent time. Usually he's up by about 7:45 or 8am on weekdays, and sometimes even lets us sleep as late as 8:30 on weekends. Any of that beats my 6am alarm clock, so that's cool to begin with. But once I get in there, usually Jacob is in such a good mood that any resentment I had from getting out of bed disappears instantly. He will stand up at the crib rail and give me a hug (did I mention that we finally lowered his crib to the lowest mattress setting? He wasn't jumping or anything, but I figured all it would take was one cranky night or a little ingenuity for him to figure it out), or play peek-a-boo through the bars as I open his curtains. He'll hand me his teddy bear or little stuffed Snoopy (thanks cousin Lynn!) for me to hug, and then take them back and dive back on his mattress face first into the animals, or throw them out for me to retrieve. He's usually so smiley and playful...right until I have to take him out and start the less fun portion of our morning, which includes medicines, vitamins, and toothbrushing.
2) Leaving in the morning - While most of this task is a bit on the stressful side--making sure we have everything, getting it all in the car, rushing to daycare so I can get to work on time--Jacob has begun to make it so much fun. His new ability to pucker up for kisses is still so darn cute, and it definitely gets a workout on our way out of the house. This morning I kissed Craig goodbye and Jacob got in on the action with a kiss on my cheek at the same time. That is the best kind of love triangle ;-) And then for the last week or so, every time I put him in his car seat, he'll give me a kiss on the cheek, I give him one back, and then I make faces at him through the window once I close the door. It's so funny and it gets him smiling and laughing, which I love! We have a similar amount of fun when I go to get him out of the seat once we get to day care. I just can't get enough of that smile! Just this morning we had a funny little moment. As I went to unstrap him, he put his hands on his head and said, "Ball!" Yes, Jacob, your head is round like a ball. I don't know if that thought just occurred to him or what, but it was so stinkin' cute.
3) Day care pickup - I generally despise the half hour that preceeds the pickup, because I'm trying to get out of work, battle the traffic, and get to Jacob before 6pm. And even worse, the battleground that is dinnertime follows it. But the little window of time when I walk into the room and see Jacob's face light up is so great. He'll usually crawl right over to me, and in his excitement give me one of his old-fashioned sloppy kisses. Sometimes the fun will carry over to the ride home, and he'll giggle and do other funny things in the backseat. Thank goodness for those mirrors that let you watch your child in your rear view mirror!
4) After dinner - It's always a relief the moment I put Jacob down on the floor after dinner. Many times it's tinged with a feeling of defeat rather than joy, but it's relief nonetheless.
5) When the monitor goes quiet - After a long day with a full evening to do list running through my head, it's always a nice feeling when Jacob finally falls asleep. We thoroughly enjoy listening to some of the funny babbling he does when he's alone in his crib, but knowing he's peacefully asleep is a great feeling. Not only is he getting his rest, but Craig and I have some time to ourselves to use as we please, whether it's getting things done around the house, checking in online, or chatting uninterrupted, or catching up on our TV shows. It's a little throwback to the days before Jacob. And while sometimes I feel guilty enjoying that feeling, I have to remind myself that life was pretty good pre-Jacob, and I'm probably allowed to miss that life just a little bit.
Of course, that's not to say that I don't enjoy every other minute with Jacob. I obviously enjoy my time playing with him and seeing his reactions to things out in the world. Just yesterday we went outside for a few minutes (I had to pick the one and only healthy green pepper I managed to grow this summer) and it was fun watching him in his swing. The other day we met Lori at the mall and while I was finishing up paying at one store, she took Jacob to Dick's, knowing that he'd have a field day pointing out all the balls. At one point I put him down and encouraged him to walk toward me, knowing that I had an entire wall of footballs behind me. And sure enough, he walked 10 steps in a row! Saturday night we went to the Amerks game, and although he was thrown off again when we first got there (he was even weird when we saw his day care teacher), by the end he was loving it! Just seeing him respond to those things is amazing, but when it comes to these five things specifically, I think what makes them so great is how they perk up the most mundane tasks. They're things that I do each day, and in the past they weren't that exciting (and in some cases were downright unpleasant). But now that Jacob is getting so interactive and fun, they're practically a pleasure!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Videos! Finally!
I finally had a chance to get a new card for my camera and I finally remembered to grab the camera at times when Jacob was happy and active. Thank goodness. Below are a couple fun videos of his latest exploits. The first is him zooming around the house with his little walking toy. Seeing him do stuff like this makes me think he's more than ready to walk, but then I see that he still doesn't trust his balance and we may have a long way to go. We shall see.
I mentioned recently that Jacob loves ice cream cones...even without the ice cream. Here he is enjoying one without the ice cream. Notice how he sticks the whole top in his mouth. I would have taken more but this is when my data card filled up. We had a busy summer with a lot of picture taking, apparently, and I'm always hesitant to delete pics off my camera before I've printed them, or at least burned them to a CD. Anyway, enjoy what little I did get. The smile near the end is priceless :)
Hopefully more to come soon. We're venturing to the Amerks' home opener tonight, and hopefully out for some shopping before that. It's a beautiful day so I'm hoping we have time for a wagon ride, too. We'll see how things go post-nap. He was cranky and sleepy when we were trying to eat lunch (same time as at daycare, go figure) so he's down now and will have to finish lunch later. I love weekends but sometimes I wonder if he's in too good of a schedule during the week and we get the worst of him when he's off that schedule on the weekend. Ugh. I try to keep it the same, but obviously it still has to be at least a little different. Apparently at this age, peer pressure can be a wonderful thing. Oh well. Happy Saturday!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Hockey and Life
A few years ago when I left my job at the Amerks, I often compared the sports world to a drug addiction. It's not good for you and it drains your wallet, but in the end it brings you some sort of pleasure that just sucks you int0 submission. You love the rush, love the concept of working in a "fun" business, but at the end of the day you end up exhausted with a small bank account, wondering where the last few years of your life went. I had very little freetime and my job was quite stressful at times. It became almost all Craig and I talked about at home, and ultimately I realized that my inability to do what I realized was an impossible job was just beating my self-esteem to bits. I used to be smart (academically, at least), and realized that my job made me feel like a moron a lot of the time. In the end it was just too much for one person to do well, and as a perfectionist on at least some level, that made me nuts. And of course, I knew Craig and I wanted to have kids at some point, and that absolutely couldn't happen with both of us there. For a while I insisted it couldn't happen even with just him there, but eventually I relented. We do ok nowadays, but another hockey season is starting, and I've been spoiled all summer with Craig being game-free all summer for the first time since our early dating days. Should be an interesting fall/winter/spring with an abundance of Mama-Jacob time for the first time in a while.
Sunday night was the Amerks' first and only home preseason game this season. Opening night is this Saturday. It was at the team's practice rink in Henrietta, and I wanted to take Jacob. He's really gotten into sports a lot over the past month or two, so I was eager to see how he'd respond to seeing one in person. We went to a handful of hockey games last year, of course, but he was a lot less aware of his surroundings back then and we rarely spent much time watching the games. Jacob liked to move even then (while in the Baby Bjorn), and we spent a lot of time visiting my former co-workers. As we headed into this year, given Jacob's current obsession with all things sports (at least, on TV), I figured we might be spending a little more time watching the game this year. Of course, that's assuming we go to games, since Jacob's a little more entrenched in his 9-ish bedtime this year. If we do go, I still have a feeling we'll be spending a lot of time running around the arena, this time because Jacob will want to run free. I'm hoping he miraculously begins walking this week so when I put him on the ground he won't immediately feel the need to crawl on dirty arena floors. Wishful thinking since we've probably only gotten about 3 or 4 steps in a row, but he's doing it more on his own now and I think once he gets it, he's really going to get it.
Anyway, he was a little thrown off when we first got there. I'm not sure what did it. It could have been having to bundle up to go in the rink. It could have been that the Amerks mascot, the Moose, tried to play peek-a-boo with him. It could have been that it was a new place, and a loud one at that. The pouty lip came out and he cried a little bit. Craig was standing with us at that point and picked Jacob up, and Jacob clung to him like crazy. He did the same with me when I took over. Eventually I got him to turn around and look at the hockey game, and slowly but surely he seemed to settle in. He did pretty well the rest of the evening, but really liked when we stopped in a meeting room to visit some people and he got to crawl around.
On the way out of the arena, we stopped to chat with a few Amerks staff members, a couple of whom I worked with back in my days there. That population, by the way, is dwindling. There's literally only a handful of people that I know anymore. Crazy stuff. I talked to them about the craziness that accompanies the week before the season and some of the usual behind-the-scenes frustrations that they're going through these days. On the way home, with Jacob sleeping in the backseat, I realized that my "drug addiction" comparison wasn't a complete one...and instead, working in sports is like having a child. Both experiences are something you dream about when you're younger, but inevitably the real experience isn't quite what you expected. Not that it's all bad, but it's harder. And there are so many ups and downs that make it so emotionally draining. Both take up an immense chunk of your time, deprive you of sleep and relaxation time, and give you more headaches than you care to count. You wonder how you're going to survive months (years) of it all. You put your heart and soul into it because it's something you're passionate about, which makes the down times that much harder to deal with. On the plus side, though, it can be so much fun. Sports and child rearing both have times of high adrenaline excitement (when your team wins or your child walks), and can bring a lot of satisfaction when you see all your hard work turn into something great. And yet, no matter how much hard work you do, sometimes things are going to end up completely out of your control, and you have to figure out how to deal with those times, too. Both allow you to extend your childhood a bit. While sports lets you live out your dream of getting paid to watch games and meet professional athletes, parenthood makes it okay to play with toys, go to the zoo, and rediscover childhood staples like Sesame Street and Chuck E. Cheese. But neither experience is all fun and games, and at the end of the day you're left wondering if the ups and downs are all worth it. This is where the similarities end, in my opinion (though Craig might beg to differ, considering he's still working in sports after all these years). With sports, it's all very fleeting. You do something great, and the next day the game is over and you're faced with another day, another game, and another challenge. It's a usually a thankless job. And while parenting may seem much the same, at the end of the day you still have something so amazing and so precious. Maybe some days it doesn't seem that way, but each and every day that you get to see your child and watch them grow and learn, it's a blessing. Whenever I have a bad day with Jacob I always try to remind myself that there are thousands of people out there who would give anything for even my worst day--parents who have lost children due to illness or injury, or people who can't have kids at all. Incidentally, has anyone seen the new season of the Biggest Loser, where one of the contestants lost her husband, five year old daughter and two week old son in a car accident? I can't even imagine. So when I think of stuff like that, I feel lucky no matter how bad of a day I had. Having a child is the hardest thing in the world sometimes, but the payback can be fantastic. Just this morning Jacob gave me a real, puckered kiss on the cheek...which was the first time he'd done one that nice. It was so great and made my morning. Just the little things can work wonders.
So anyway, how's that for a sports metaphor? :)
Sunday night was the Amerks' first and only home preseason game this season. Opening night is this Saturday. It was at the team's practice rink in Henrietta, and I wanted to take Jacob. He's really gotten into sports a lot over the past month or two, so I was eager to see how he'd respond to seeing one in person. We went to a handful of hockey games last year, of course, but he was a lot less aware of his surroundings back then and we rarely spent much time watching the games. Jacob liked to move even then (while in the Baby Bjorn), and we spent a lot of time visiting my former co-workers. As we headed into this year, given Jacob's current obsession with all things sports (at least, on TV), I figured we might be spending a little more time watching the game this year. Of course, that's assuming we go to games, since Jacob's a little more entrenched in his 9-ish bedtime this year. If we do go, I still have a feeling we'll be spending a lot of time running around the arena, this time because Jacob will want to run free. I'm hoping he miraculously begins walking this week so when I put him on the ground he won't immediately feel the need to crawl on dirty arena floors. Wishful thinking since we've probably only gotten about 3 or 4 steps in a row, but he's doing it more on his own now and I think once he gets it, he's really going to get it.
Anyway, he was a little thrown off when we first got there. I'm not sure what did it. It could have been having to bundle up to go in the rink. It could have been that the Amerks mascot, the Moose, tried to play peek-a-boo with him. It could have been that it was a new place, and a loud one at that. The pouty lip came out and he cried a little bit. Craig was standing with us at that point and picked Jacob up, and Jacob clung to him like crazy. He did the same with me when I took over. Eventually I got him to turn around and look at the hockey game, and slowly but surely he seemed to settle in. He did pretty well the rest of the evening, but really liked when we stopped in a meeting room to visit some people and he got to crawl around.
On the way out of the arena, we stopped to chat with a few Amerks staff members, a couple of whom I worked with back in my days there. That population, by the way, is dwindling. There's literally only a handful of people that I know anymore. Crazy stuff. I talked to them about the craziness that accompanies the week before the season and some of the usual behind-the-scenes frustrations that they're going through these days. On the way home, with Jacob sleeping in the backseat, I realized that my "drug addiction" comparison wasn't a complete one...and instead, working in sports is like having a child. Both experiences are something you dream about when you're younger, but inevitably the real experience isn't quite what you expected. Not that it's all bad, but it's harder. And there are so many ups and downs that make it so emotionally draining. Both take up an immense chunk of your time, deprive you of sleep and relaxation time, and give you more headaches than you care to count. You wonder how you're going to survive months (years) of it all. You put your heart and soul into it because it's something you're passionate about, which makes the down times that much harder to deal with. On the plus side, though, it can be so much fun. Sports and child rearing both have times of high adrenaline excitement (when your team wins or your child walks), and can bring a lot of satisfaction when you see all your hard work turn into something great. And yet, no matter how much hard work you do, sometimes things are going to end up completely out of your control, and you have to figure out how to deal with those times, too. Both allow you to extend your childhood a bit. While sports lets you live out your dream of getting paid to watch games and meet professional athletes, parenthood makes it okay to play with toys, go to the zoo, and rediscover childhood staples like Sesame Street and Chuck E. Cheese. But neither experience is all fun and games, and at the end of the day you're left wondering if the ups and downs are all worth it. This is where the similarities end, in my opinion (though Craig might beg to differ, considering he's still working in sports after all these years). With sports, it's all very fleeting. You do something great, and the next day the game is over and you're faced with another day, another game, and another challenge. It's a usually a thankless job. And while parenting may seem much the same, at the end of the day you still have something so amazing and so precious. Maybe some days it doesn't seem that way, but each and every day that you get to see your child and watch them grow and learn, it's a blessing. Whenever I have a bad day with Jacob I always try to remind myself that there are thousands of people out there who would give anything for even my worst day--parents who have lost children due to illness or injury, or people who can't have kids at all. Incidentally, has anyone seen the new season of the Biggest Loser, where one of the contestants lost her husband, five year old daughter and two week old son in a car accident? I can't even imagine. So when I think of stuff like that, I feel lucky no matter how bad of a day I had. Having a child is the hardest thing in the world sometimes, but the payback can be fantastic. Just this morning Jacob gave me a real, puckered kiss on the cheek...which was the first time he'd done one that nice. It was so great and made my morning. Just the little things can work wonders.
So anyway, how's that for a sports metaphor? :)
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Odds and Ends...
Not much to report this week, apparently, so I figured I'd report on a few random things...
- Jacob loves ice cream cones. Not necessarily the ice cream in them, but the cones themselves. He does enjoy ice cream a lot of the time when a cone isn't an option, but he will gladly eat an empty ice cream cone. After the tiny cone he ate at the gelato place, I had been thinking how fun it would be to get him cones like that, and one day at Wegmans I happened to look at the cone selections, almost on accident, and noticed that they had tiny cones. There are 60 in a standard sized cone box. I'll admit I've been enjoying them as well, but with ice cream. Jacob will take an empty one and immediately crunch into it, nearly destroying it completely with one bite. It's pretty funny. I hope to get video of it some day...once I clear off my memory card or get a new one!
- Still no progress on the walking front. He will definitely walk when he's ready. And right now he gets around better crawling. He has no problem climbing and standing, so I know it's not a physical issue. I just think he knows that crawling serves him best at this point. I keep encouraging him, trying to get him to stand and take a couple steps, then cheering him on and hugging him when he does it (though usually the couple steps are just part of a lunge forward at me), but so far he's just not interested in doing it more often or on his own. Even spending all day with a half dozen little walkers hasn't convinced him yet. Just more evidence that he definitely has a mind of his own...
- His new favorite activity is using me as a jungle gym. Once in a while when I'm trying to get a laugh out of him I will roll on to my back and lift him up above me, sometimes with his belly resting on my feet. He loves it. One day he was standing behind me while I sat on the floor and I grabbed his hands over my shoulders and bent over, basically lifting his feet off the floor. He loved it and I did it over and over, with him giggling hysterically the whole time. So now when I'm on the floor with him, he either comes up in front of me and pushes me back, practically strangling me in the process, or comes up behind me and pushes me forward. It took me a couple times of this to realize what he was doing, but now I know it's his not-so-subtle hint!
- He's still not eating that great, but once in a while he'll do a great job. I suppose he'd do a great job if I just fed him stuff I know he likes, but I don't want him to get in a rut so I'd rather keep getting him to try new things here and there. This week I heated up some Asian-style vegetables (the Steamfresh kind) and he really seemed to like those. They're pretty much the same veggies he's given normally (carrots, peas (except these are in pods), baby corn, broccoli) but I guess the subtle sauce they're in worked for him. And there are things he likes but has a hard time eating, like corn and rice. He enjoys them but since he still eats with his hands he ends up making a mess. I keep trying to help him with silverware, but it's not going too well. Like the walking/crawling thing, he takes the easy way out and will eat with his fingers with the hand that isn't holding the spoon or fork. Doh!
- He really loves his milk and now delights in signing it for us. The sign for milk is simply squeezing your hand into a fist--think milking a cow. He uses that sign, along with "more", a lot. He also knows "please" and I think he knows "done", which I think is moving your hands back and forth, though I think that one usually just dissolves into moving his hands back and forth on his placemat and brushing food off the table. Ugh. He's also figured out how the velcro on his placemat works, so that's been a little annoying, but still, I don't miss the high chair tray.
- We're still having trouble getting him to kick his second nap. If he happens to take a three hour nap after his lunch, he's fine for the rest of the day. But if his nap is any shorter than two hours, he just can't seem to make it. If he takes a cat nap before leaving day care, that seems to do the trick. But if he happens to fall asleep on the way home (a five minute drive!) and sleep until shortly before dinner, he's a mess. It takes him a while to snap out of his post-nap funk. He'll cry and fight us, usually until we can convince him to take a bite of his dinner, at which point he decides it's pretty good and will keep going. The napping thing was less of an issue in his old room at daycare, but in the new one he's in, they try to stick to a schedule, and that schedule only includes one nap. He does revert back to the other room at the end of the day and can easily sleep then, but sometimes it's hard to tell if he's tired. He gets punchy when he's sleepy, and it can easily be misinterpreted as just being in a really silly mood. So what seems like a good mood at the end of the day is really discovered to be sleepiness when he falls asleep on the way home. So not only does he sleep through some of the little time he has with us, but he wakes up cranky. Ugh.
He's definitely keeping us laughing these days, though. This morning when he woke up he stood there in his crib pointing to the polka dots on my shirt, one at a time, saying "ball" to each one. What a goof ball :) He's got good comedic timing with his playing of peek-a-boo, and loves being chased around the house. The chasing can be fun but it's bad when he's going somewhere he shouldn't and thinks it's fun to crawl away. Like I said, hopefully I will clear off my memory card soon and will have more opportunities for fun pictures and video. My apologies for the lack of those things lately. Hopefully soon!!
- Jacob loves ice cream cones. Not necessarily the ice cream in them, but the cones themselves. He does enjoy ice cream a lot of the time when a cone isn't an option, but he will gladly eat an empty ice cream cone. After the tiny cone he ate at the gelato place, I had been thinking how fun it would be to get him cones like that, and one day at Wegmans I happened to look at the cone selections, almost on accident, and noticed that they had tiny cones. There are 60 in a standard sized cone box. I'll admit I've been enjoying them as well, but with ice cream. Jacob will take an empty one and immediately crunch into it, nearly destroying it completely with one bite. It's pretty funny. I hope to get video of it some day...once I clear off my memory card or get a new one!
- Still no progress on the walking front. He will definitely walk when he's ready. And right now he gets around better crawling. He has no problem climbing and standing, so I know it's not a physical issue. I just think he knows that crawling serves him best at this point. I keep encouraging him, trying to get him to stand and take a couple steps, then cheering him on and hugging him when he does it (though usually the couple steps are just part of a lunge forward at me), but so far he's just not interested in doing it more often or on his own. Even spending all day with a half dozen little walkers hasn't convinced him yet. Just more evidence that he definitely has a mind of his own...
- His new favorite activity is using me as a jungle gym. Once in a while when I'm trying to get a laugh out of him I will roll on to my back and lift him up above me, sometimes with his belly resting on my feet. He loves it. One day he was standing behind me while I sat on the floor and I grabbed his hands over my shoulders and bent over, basically lifting his feet off the floor. He loved it and I did it over and over, with him giggling hysterically the whole time. So now when I'm on the floor with him, he either comes up in front of me and pushes me back, practically strangling me in the process, or comes up behind me and pushes me forward. It took me a couple times of this to realize what he was doing, but now I know it's his not-so-subtle hint!
- He's still not eating that great, but once in a while he'll do a great job. I suppose he'd do a great job if I just fed him stuff I know he likes, but I don't want him to get in a rut so I'd rather keep getting him to try new things here and there. This week I heated up some Asian-style vegetables (the Steamfresh kind) and he really seemed to like those. They're pretty much the same veggies he's given normally (carrots, peas (except these are in pods), baby corn, broccoli) but I guess the subtle sauce they're in worked for him. And there are things he likes but has a hard time eating, like corn and rice. He enjoys them but since he still eats with his hands he ends up making a mess. I keep trying to help him with silverware, but it's not going too well. Like the walking/crawling thing, he takes the easy way out and will eat with his fingers with the hand that isn't holding the spoon or fork. Doh!
- He really loves his milk and now delights in signing it for us. The sign for milk is simply squeezing your hand into a fist--think milking a cow. He uses that sign, along with "more", a lot. He also knows "please" and I think he knows "done", which I think is moving your hands back and forth, though I think that one usually just dissolves into moving his hands back and forth on his placemat and brushing food off the table. Ugh. He's also figured out how the velcro on his placemat works, so that's been a little annoying, but still, I don't miss the high chair tray.
- We're still having trouble getting him to kick his second nap. If he happens to take a three hour nap after his lunch, he's fine for the rest of the day. But if his nap is any shorter than two hours, he just can't seem to make it. If he takes a cat nap before leaving day care, that seems to do the trick. But if he happens to fall asleep on the way home (a five minute drive!) and sleep until shortly before dinner, he's a mess. It takes him a while to snap out of his post-nap funk. He'll cry and fight us, usually until we can convince him to take a bite of his dinner, at which point he decides it's pretty good and will keep going. The napping thing was less of an issue in his old room at daycare, but in the new one he's in, they try to stick to a schedule, and that schedule only includes one nap. He does revert back to the other room at the end of the day and can easily sleep then, but sometimes it's hard to tell if he's tired. He gets punchy when he's sleepy, and it can easily be misinterpreted as just being in a really silly mood. So what seems like a good mood at the end of the day is really discovered to be sleepiness when he falls asleep on the way home. So not only does he sleep through some of the little time he has with us, but he wakes up cranky. Ugh.
He's definitely keeping us laughing these days, though. This morning when he woke up he stood there in his crib pointing to the polka dots on my shirt, one at a time, saying "ball" to each one. What a goof ball :) He's got good comedic timing with his playing of peek-a-boo, and loves being chased around the house. The chasing can be fun but it's bad when he's going somewhere he shouldn't and thinks it's fun to crawl away. Like I said, hopefully I will clear off my memory card soon and will have more opportunities for fun pictures and video. My apologies for the lack of those things lately. Hopefully soon!!
Monday, September 21, 2009
15 Months
Jacob turned 15 months yesterday. Every time he hits a milestone, it amazes me how far we've come. He's gone from the helpless little baby whose picture I stare at on my wall at work to this little boy with a mind of his own who tears around the house on all fours or on two feet with his walking toy. Yesterday I looked at the boppy pillow still sitting on the end of the couch. We spent many long hours with that thing every time I nursed, and now it just sits there as not much more than another thing to play with. We've come a long way, but still have a ways to go, obviously. These days I find myself looking forward to future stages, when Jacob understands what we are saying and can respond coherently to us as well. I know that those stages come with their own problems, but right now he's getting in the habit of doing this annoying, droning whine every time he wants something and can't get it that instant. And if he doesn't get it a few instants after that, he goes into full-fledged meltdown mode--screaming, arching his back, stiffening up--it's brutal. He must have done the whine a couple dozen times yesterday and it was starting to make me crazy. He'll do it when he can see but can't get to something that's in his pack-n-play, when he sees a sippy cup and wants a drink (even if he sees us getting him a drink, he'll do it until the moment it's in his hands), or when he just wants to do something else. The other night he wanted the lemon in my water at dinner. Apparently he remembered he liked it the last time I let him have one. Go figure. Hardly a sour face at all. He was having a full blown tantrum but I couldn't give it to him at that moment--I think I was cutting his food or had messy hands or something. Craig just wanted me to give it to him so he'd chill, but I said that Jacob has to learn he can't have everything he wants. Sure enough, once he calmed himself down I gave him the lemon and he was a happy camper. Discipline is a scary world but we're really going to have to work on it in the coming months.
Yesterday we were supposed to go to a Bills party at another couple's house. Shortly before we were going to leave, the cold I'd been battling all week hit me. I was super tired and congested all of a sudden, and I just couldn't bring myself to get up and go. I think the cold and a combination of other factors just got to me and I just sort of shut down for a bit. I felt bad that I couldn't go because I know Jacob's whining was getting to Craig, too, but at the same time I just didn't feel well enough to be social and be a good mom. So off the boys went without me. If nothing else I figured it would be an interesting experience for Craig because it's not often that he's out and about with Jacob alone, particularly when there's a meal involved. Turned out that Jacob spent most of the party glued to Craig but still managed to discover a love for Cheetos. And he didn't come home orange...bonus.
Back at home I finally felt good enough to get out of bed and get some things done amidst the solitude. It was actually a funny little throwback to the days before Jacob was around, when I had countless weekend days home alone while Craig was working. It almost felt like a time warp. It's not too often I'm home alone anymore, so it felt funny to have a chunk of time at home, without Craig or Jacob, undistracted and able to just get things done or relax as I pleased. Would have been a little more fun had I been feeling better, but it was nice nonetheless. No matter how I was feeling, the opportunity to take care of some nagging tasks was too much to resist. I did some laundry, put up some fall decorations, and sorted through a bunch of clothes--new, old and hand-me-downs--to pack some away and pull some out. It was stuff that I knew I had to do, but had a hard time taking the time to do any other time.
I guess I was also a little beat down by a lot of stuff that's been passing through my head lately. First in line is the car seat decision. We're fortunate that we picked an infant car seat that has a higher weight and height limit than most, so technically Jacob would be fine in it for another 10 pounds and six inches. However, we can't comfortably carry him in the carrier anymore and it's actually sort of a pain to have to leave it at day care when Craig is picking him up. If we're going to have to buy new car seats at some point soon, why not just get it out of the way now and avoid that problem? Well, the decision is brutal. First of all, they're not cheap...and if they're too cheap you wonder how safe they are. I'm looking for a happy medium, I guess...the safest seat you can get without spending $300...because we have to buy two and $600 seems ridiculous. Obviously if it's a life and death thing it's worth it, but if it's just a small difference, then really, I'd rather spend less. People swear by the Britax seats, which are certainly nice and generally rate well, but they are so expensive. Not to mention that we could either get a convertible seat that can be placed backwards for a bit longer (which is way safer...less risk of spinal cord breakage that way) or a 3-in-1 seat that can be used as a car seat with the harness, a high back booster with the seat belt, and a booster seat later on. But supposedly car seats "expire" after six years, and Jacob may still need a seat for longer than that. It's such a tough decision. It's Jacob's safety, after all.
On top of that, I'm just generally concerned about him. While I know that he's probably fine, I have moments of concern when I think about how skinny he still is, how little he eats, the fact that he's still not walking, and that his vocabulary doesn't go much past Mama, Dada, and Ball. I know he understands some things (he's so cute when he uses sign language for a couple things), but sometimes he doesn't seem to get things he should and it makes me wonder if he's doing it on purpose or if he just doesn't get it. The other day I got a 15-month email from one of the mailing lists I'm on and they said that 90% of babies are walking by now. Great, thanks. I think about how little food he eats at a sitting, and think about the massive amount and variety of foods I see other kids eating, and I worry. I don't want him to be the skinny kid or be malnourished. I want him to be a good eater, strong and healthy. And again, while I know that he's probably somewhere on the scale of normal, I'm still longing for his next trip to the doctor next month, just in case. And of course, he had another rough visit to church yesterday morning, so that didn't help either.
So with all of that in mind, it made for a rough day. Jacob just seemed out of sync with us this weekend and with my cold and all of these issues running around in my brain, I think my body just said that enough was enough. I feel better today but I know a lot of the issues are still there. Another work week is upon us and I have even more to add to my brain. And yeah, the working mom thing is a tough gig too. But still...I push through as always. Sometimes those breaks are needed, and I probably should do more of them. I hate relying on other people to allow those to happen, but I guess I don't have a choice and it's vital that I get what I need so I can be a better mom and give Jacob what he needs. And right now, Mama needs sleep. Have a good night, everyone...
Yesterday we were supposed to go to a Bills party at another couple's house. Shortly before we were going to leave, the cold I'd been battling all week hit me. I was super tired and congested all of a sudden, and I just couldn't bring myself to get up and go. I think the cold and a combination of other factors just got to me and I just sort of shut down for a bit. I felt bad that I couldn't go because I know Jacob's whining was getting to Craig, too, but at the same time I just didn't feel well enough to be social and be a good mom. So off the boys went without me. If nothing else I figured it would be an interesting experience for Craig because it's not often that he's out and about with Jacob alone, particularly when there's a meal involved. Turned out that Jacob spent most of the party glued to Craig but still managed to discover a love for Cheetos. And he didn't come home orange...bonus.
Back at home I finally felt good enough to get out of bed and get some things done amidst the solitude. It was actually a funny little throwback to the days before Jacob was around, when I had countless weekend days home alone while Craig was working. It almost felt like a time warp. It's not too often I'm home alone anymore, so it felt funny to have a chunk of time at home, without Craig or Jacob, undistracted and able to just get things done or relax as I pleased. Would have been a little more fun had I been feeling better, but it was nice nonetheless. No matter how I was feeling, the opportunity to take care of some nagging tasks was too much to resist. I did some laundry, put up some fall decorations, and sorted through a bunch of clothes--new, old and hand-me-downs--to pack some away and pull some out. It was stuff that I knew I had to do, but had a hard time taking the time to do any other time.
I guess I was also a little beat down by a lot of stuff that's been passing through my head lately. First in line is the car seat decision. We're fortunate that we picked an infant car seat that has a higher weight and height limit than most, so technically Jacob would be fine in it for another 10 pounds and six inches. However, we can't comfortably carry him in the carrier anymore and it's actually sort of a pain to have to leave it at day care when Craig is picking him up. If we're going to have to buy new car seats at some point soon, why not just get it out of the way now and avoid that problem? Well, the decision is brutal. First of all, they're not cheap...and if they're too cheap you wonder how safe they are. I'm looking for a happy medium, I guess...the safest seat you can get without spending $300...because we have to buy two and $600 seems ridiculous. Obviously if it's a life and death thing it's worth it, but if it's just a small difference, then really, I'd rather spend less. People swear by the Britax seats, which are certainly nice and generally rate well, but they are so expensive. Not to mention that we could either get a convertible seat that can be placed backwards for a bit longer (which is way safer...less risk of spinal cord breakage that way) or a 3-in-1 seat that can be used as a car seat with the harness, a high back booster with the seat belt, and a booster seat later on. But supposedly car seats "expire" after six years, and Jacob may still need a seat for longer than that. It's such a tough decision. It's Jacob's safety, after all.
On top of that, I'm just generally concerned about him. While I know that he's probably fine, I have moments of concern when I think about how skinny he still is, how little he eats, the fact that he's still not walking, and that his vocabulary doesn't go much past Mama, Dada, and Ball. I know he understands some things (he's so cute when he uses sign language for a couple things), but sometimes he doesn't seem to get things he should and it makes me wonder if he's doing it on purpose or if he just doesn't get it. The other day I got a 15-month email from one of the mailing lists I'm on and they said that 90% of babies are walking by now. Great, thanks. I think about how little food he eats at a sitting, and think about the massive amount and variety of foods I see other kids eating, and I worry. I don't want him to be the skinny kid or be malnourished. I want him to be a good eater, strong and healthy. And again, while I know that he's probably somewhere on the scale of normal, I'm still longing for his next trip to the doctor next month, just in case. And of course, he had another rough visit to church yesterday morning, so that didn't help either.
So with all of that in mind, it made for a rough day. Jacob just seemed out of sync with us this weekend and with my cold and all of these issues running around in my brain, I think my body just said that enough was enough. I feel better today but I know a lot of the issues are still there. Another work week is upon us and I have even more to add to my brain. And yeah, the working mom thing is a tough gig too. But still...I push through as always. Sometimes those breaks are needed, and I probably should do more of them. I hate relying on other people to allow those to happen, but I guess I don't have a choice and it's vital that I get what I need so I can be a better mom and give Jacob what he needs. And right now, Mama needs sleep. Have a good night, everyone...
Friday, September 18, 2009
Steps!
Well, Jacob's definitely not "walking" yet, but he finally pulled off a couple actual steps that didn't immediately end in a dive into my lap! Lately we've been encouraging Jacob to stand on his own, which he's been getting good at. He still doesn't do it a lot, at least not voluntarily, but if I happen to put him on the ground, he's less likely to immediately get on all fours than he was a week or two ago. Since he's been getting better at that, I've been trying to get him to take steps. As I've been saying for a while, I think he's ready to walk but just doesn't have the confidence to pick up his feet and go. We've been cheering him on a lot, just trying to get him to move his feet, but it's not always easy. If you try to use a toy to entice him, he just drops down and crawls to get it...but then again, if given the choice I guess we all probably revert to what's easier and what we're better at in life, right? Still, here and there we've gotten a couple attempted steps from him. He'll lift his foot and try to move forward, only to end up diving in my lap or launching forward to grab my outstretched arms. I think once last weekend we did get a couple steps together, but both were in the midst of forward momentum as he was launching himself at me, so I don't think they really counted. But last night he actually managed to take a couple steps and stay standing. He didn't get far and was quite wobbly in between, they were actual steps nonetheless. He'd move his foot, wobble, move the other foot, wobble, and then usually try for a third step but end up in my lap or grabbing my hands. But still, it's progress! Hopefully we'll have plenty of time this weekend to keep working on it. And I think once he gets the idea and enjoys the praise he gets for doing it, he'll want to keep doing it! And hopefully something video-worthy will happen sometime soon!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Getting back to normal...
I've had some funny little moments over the past few weeks since I finished up nursing. As I'm sure I've mentioned, I was looking forward to having my body back and not worrying about every little thing I was doing that could in some way negatively impact Jacob. From nuts to albacore tuna (mercury) to alcohol to dairy, I was constantly thinking about what was transferring through my milk and what it might do. Even artificial sweeteners and "safe" medications like Tylenol or Ibuprofen made me a little nervous. From allergy concerns to toxins, many things kept me wondering right through pregnancy and into breastfeeding. And really, things like medications and alcohol had only been used in moderation since before I was pregnant, as I was trying to keep myself as "clean" as possible when I was trying to get pregnant, just in case I didn't find out right away.
Well, since I gave up breastfeeding I've been having these revelations here and there, realizing that certain things are okay again. One day it was nuts, another day it was allergy medication. Then this week I started to get a cold. I could tell the other night that my throat was sore, and I was so bummed because I've been sick a lot since Jacob's been in day care. And usually when I'm sick, he'll get sick. And God knows either of those scenarios is bad for both of us, not to mention Craig. And while I'm still nervous about passing this along, I had a revelation the other night while I was sitting on the couch. Holy cow, I can take cold medication again! After a year of suffering through countless colds without more than a pain reliever to reduce sinus pain, I can actually take whatever I want to ward off symptoms. YES!! Well, I looked in the medicine cabinet the next morning to see if anything in there would work and was still good, and I found an unopened pack of Cold-Eze. I don't know if they were just old or if I bought them for Craig at some point, but they're supposed to cut down a cold's symptoms and duration. I felt like I had success with them in the past so I decided I'd try it again. I took them 3 or so times a day the last couple days, and really, I feel pretty good. I'm tired, but other than a scratchy throat and some post-nasal drip, it really hasn't been too bad. As a result I haven't even needed to hit up the cold medicine aisle yet...which is fine with me.
But all along I just couldn't help but laugh every time it hit me that something was now safe for me to consume. I guess two years of screening everything I consumed for baby safety really became a habit! Breastfeeding was still worth it, but I don't miss it (I really thought I would!) and I'm happy to be back to my old self for a while!
Well, since I gave up breastfeeding I've been having these revelations here and there, realizing that certain things are okay again. One day it was nuts, another day it was allergy medication. Then this week I started to get a cold. I could tell the other night that my throat was sore, and I was so bummed because I've been sick a lot since Jacob's been in day care. And usually when I'm sick, he'll get sick. And God knows either of those scenarios is bad for both of us, not to mention Craig. And while I'm still nervous about passing this along, I had a revelation the other night while I was sitting on the couch. Holy cow, I can take cold medication again! After a year of suffering through countless colds without more than a pain reliever to reduce sinus pain, I can actually take whatever I want to ward off symptoms. YES!! Well, I looked in the medicine cabinet the next morning to see if anything in there would work and was still good, and I found an unopened pack of Cold-Eze. I don't know if they were just old or if I bought them for Craig at some point, but they're supposed to cut down a cold's symptoms and duration. I felt like I had success with them in the past so I decided I'd try it again. I took them 3 or so times a day the last couple days, and really, I feel pretty good. I'm tired, but other than a scratchy throat and some post-nasal drip, it really hasn't been too bad. As a result I haven't even needed to hit up the cold medicine aisle yet...which is fine with me.
But all along I just couldn't help but laugh every time it hit me that something was now safe for me to consume. I guess two years of screening everything I consumed for baby safety really became a habit! Breastfeeding was still worth it, but I don't miss it (I really thought I would!) and I'm happy to be back to my old self for a while!
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