Carter is officially done with school. He has completed second grade and has said goodbye to the school he attended for the last three years...at least until he goes there for the afterschool program next fall!
Second grade has been a challenge. Part of that was COVID, part of that was Carter. COVID did not make anything easy. We only had two in-person days each week for more than seven months, so I know that a ton of real learning was lost in that time. We did what we could with what was assigned, of course, but nothing compares to a real teacher. That's why we pay them to do what they do. Carter's teacher told us yesterday that we were one of a handful of families that gave remote learning our full effort, getting basically everything done. Knowing what an effort it was here, with two at-home parents in a generally functional home, I am completely terrified for the rest of his classmates who didn't have that kind of support. This had to be a mostly lost year for them. We probably did the equivalent of treading water, at least, and I know he grew as a student, but I know there were things that would have been addressed better had he been in person. His handwriting, for example, is a disaster. He still writes like a Kindergartner, with giant letters that don't fit in the lines, odd spacing, and lacking proper punctuation. And to add insult to injury, they had him trying to learn cursive this year! We have a handwriting book to finish off, but I'm going to try to work with him this summer to get his printing to where it should be. I just think that the biggest problems with the biggest problem kids were prioritized this year, and the middle-range problems like Carter has fell through the cracks a bit. Two days a week of his behavior was probably a lot more tolerable than five, so it probably took a lot longer for his teacher to hit any sort of breaking point than it would have otherwise.
Carter is a good kid who is hidden behind a busy mind, a fidgety body, and an emotional wall he's built up for unknown reasons. He's self-conscious around others and bristles at correction or offers for help. Being away from the positive peer pressure of a classroom only made that stuff worse. It's unfortunate that medication didn't become a reality sooner because it did seem to help, but we don't have a really good handle on just how much or in what areas it falls short. That will be our learning curve come September.
I'm sad he didn't get the full Autumn Lane experience that his brother loved so much. Jacob was so confused about why Carter wasn't sadder to be leaving the school, but I had to explain that he missed nearly a year of in-person time (when you all up all the remote days it's only about 30 days short of a full year) and he just has a different personality. Jacob had two of three teachers that helped him thrive despite his challenges. Carter had three good ones, although this last one probably wasn't the best personality fit for him (even if the structure was much needed), and while I know she tried hard to help him, I'm just not sure we really ever got the breakthrough we were looking for. At least until the last week when medication seemed to help. But it definitely wasn't the year we were hoping for.
Carter was very excited for his last day. He had some fun stuff leading up to the end, including some movie watching and popsicles that kept him in a good enough mood, but he was thrilled for the official last day. That is a genuine smile!
And here he is literally running into school!
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| Last drop-off over six years of drop-offs--although there were a lot of bus rides in there, too. At least drop-off was less chaotic this year because they were literally out directing traffic. |
On Wednesday, he had his moving up car parade. Jacob had a full ceremony with singing and announcing of everyone's name, but last year because of COVID they started the car parade. I wonder if they'll ever go back now. I was sad when I saw Carter wouldn't get the same ceremony, but I suppose he would probably be relieved if he knew what that entailed, since performing in public is probably not his strong suit. We made a feeble attempt of decorating the van, but I had a last minute meeting pop up right before we were supposed to leave and Jacob was dragging his butt to the shower late as usual, so Craig had to handle most of it. I had blown up balloons and tied them on strings, but our plan to secure them to the van (caught in the back windows) did not go well and we lost them all about two minutes into the ride. Sigh.
I had savored these last couple weeks when we just had one lower maintenance kid done with school, knowing that the chaos that results from both at home is a challenge. Gone were my all-too-few quiet days with no kids, then we moved on to less-quiet days with one kid, and now we begin full-on summer. The pool is cold and slightly green, and even on day one the electronics and the fights were making things difficult. I literally said to Craig that he should look into whether we could still get Carter in at the Y because I can't do this every day.
Speaking of which, we officially found out yesterday that I'll be going back to the office relatively soon. We are being asked to come back one day per week in August, and then full time with the option of up to two remote days starting in September. I think Craig and I can coordinate for August, but I'm hoping September won't go into full effect until after the kids are in school, simply because picking up child care for a week and a half isn't really feasible. I'm considering asking for one remote day per week, though I'll probably only use it when one of the kids has an appointment, since it saves me a ton of time going back and forth if I'm closer to home. That might be every other week, or maybe more, assuming I can schedule things accordingly. In many ways I will be grateful to go back, but I know it will be a painful adjustment in others. On a day like today when I slept in, washed and remade two beds, and put away some dishes during my breaks from the work day, I know going back is going to be a challenge. I'm hoping the mental boost from seeing people will help, at least through the initial transition, but I know it's going to be a serious change after 18 months away. I cringe at the thought that my current normal (which has its fair share of mental challenges currently) is going to look downright delightful in a few months. I know I'll long for the lunch time walks to the garden, miss sleeping in later, and think about all of the household chores I'm no longer sneaking in when I need a screen break. It's like at Christmas when I always feel like I have so much more I could be doing at home, but now I'll know that's the case every single day.
As it is now I'm dreaming of my furlough, when I could get things done during the day, sneak in a swim and an afternoon glass of wine, then go for an evening bike ride or sit with a book on the porch. Instead, today I worked all day, moved right into making dinner, rushed to soccer practice (which I forgot we had until 15 minutes before and dinner was already on the table--I was mostly focused on Jacob's 6:30 basketball practice we only confirmed earlier in the day), came home, did some yard work since it's going to be super hot this weekend, came in to clean up the dinner dishes, picked up a few things around the house, and finished the laundry. Last night I spent two hours dealing with the piles from the end of the school year for both kids, plus another hour dealing with my own pile of randomness...all of which came after a grocery store trip and dinner solo with both kids. Jacob had presorted his school pile (that still included stuff from LAST year--don't even get me started), but there were things I had to take care of. Carter's home school area was a mess and we needed to find spots for his supplies that came home. The endless piles were killing me and I just had to take care of it. I can't seem to muster a workout and really do much for myself in the evenings because I've been on kid duty every night this week due to Craig being gone--either working or taking Jacob to basketball. I know the kids' sports are important, but it's getting frustrating to not have much flexibility--or to end up buried in tasks on the off-chance I can do something of my choice. I know I really just need a vacation--a change of scenery, some adventure, and no work. We probably need a couples vacation worst, but I know the kids are eager to get somewhere, too. But if we're trying to figure out Disney eventually and don't want to fly anywhere yet, I'm not sure what we should do. Oh, and we get to worry about the Delta variant spiking and ruining anything we can plan longer term. Yay.
So, I can't say it's been a smooth entry to summer, nor does it look like things will be settling down anytime soon. But second grade is done, summer school awaits, and we have a lot of figuring out to do in the meantime. Wish us luck.
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