A few weeks ago Carter started ADHD medication. We got the go-ahead from the therapist to call his pediatrician rather than wait for the medication consult at the therapist's office. We had a very short timeline to get him medicine and give it a shot at school before the end of the year, so I didn't want to waste any more time. As it was this had been a many-months-long process and now we only had so much time to get our bearings enough to give us a better shot at a good start to third grade.
It was easier this time around to take matters into our own hands because we'd been through the process before and had a lot more understanding of how things usually progress. We also knew what had worked for Jacob, so there was at least a small chance it could work for Carter, too. I figured Ritalin would be a natural place to start because it not only worked for Jacob, but he showed no adverse reactions to it. Some kids lose their appetite or their personality changes for the worse, and we had none of that with Jacob. As much as it seems like my kids have completely different sets of genes, in this case I had to trust there were some similarities--enough that the medicine would work for Carter as well. If nothing else, I felt like it had to be a starting point with fewer unknowns than any other medicine, at least. I knew we'd start at the minimum dose of 5mg and progress from there if needed. The doctor agreed, and off we went.
Carter had two full weeks of that dose. I saw a slight change in him when we did Wednesdays at home. He was at least a little more cooperative and able to sit through two straight assignments without begging for a break. But when I checked in with his teacher, school was a different story--he was still disruptive, still fidgety, still challenging. Sigh. I was so sad to read her recap, and called the doctor with the update as he'd asked me for a couple weeks in. He upped the dose to 10mg, which was easy enough as he could just take two of his current pills until the new prescription was ready. Of course, in the interim, he got his cold. We sent him to school Monday (feeling much better, mind you) with decongestant in his system, which I read had the potential to make him a bit more excitable. It sounded like Monday wasn't the best day as a result (though he was more responsive to reminders), but his teacher told me on Wednesday that he did great on Tuesday with no reminders!
Wednesday at home was a fantastic day. I was solo because Craig had a major work thing (the college lacrosse league he's been spearheading had its first game!), and Carter did an amazing job at home, working through at least two assignments at a time and coming back to work after breaks with little to no hesitation. He's also been playing with toys a lot more recently after rediscovering a set of Tinkertoys (a hand-me-down from our old neighbor back in the day) that I pulled up from the basement. They weren't stored away or even particularly hidden, but it's unlikely he would have noticed them where they were. Once we cleared more toys out of the toy shelf before the garage sale, there was an empty bin available for them, so I moved them up. He's been playing with them for days with varying degrees of success, but it's been so nice to see him put away the tablet in favor of a toy for a change. Interestingly, even though the medicine only lasts for about four hours, he's seemed better in the couple hours after, too. Given that his teacher didn't have concerns on Tuesday, and he was good on Wednesday into the afternoon, and even his therapist noticed a little less fidgeting yesterday at 3pm, it's intriguing. Is a quieter head in the morning keeping him calmer all day? Who knows. But for now I'll take it.
So, the bad news is that we still won't have a great sample to know for sure if it's working at school. He had a fun day today with a movie and popsicles, so that's probably not a good measure, and then he just has two days left next week. And if my school experience was any indication, those won't be normal days either. I LOVED the last couple days of school where we returned our textbooks, cleaned our desks (with shaving cream!), and wrapped things up with other fun activities. But it's been a good sign, at least. We'll also have opportunities this summer to test things out since we're doing remote summer school. It'll only be about 90 minutes a week, maybe more if we can incentivize a bit. He has a handwriting book (cursive, no less!) that the teacher has encouraged them to finish, and he can definitely use work in that area, so between the assigned work and that book, we should have some activities that will necessitate focus and patience and will give the medicine a run for its money. But if nothing else, I think it should give us a better start in the fall with this dose--though hopefully by then it will be the long acting medicine, which will be even better.
The funny thing about Carter--and probably the main difference I see between the boys--is that I don't feel like he NEEDS the medicine at home quite like Jacob did (and still does). When Jacob doesn't take his, he can be really frustrating. I actually think he probably manages OK at school now, but at home in the mornings before he takes it (and often after it wears off in the evenings), he can be disrespectful and a major pot-stirrer. It's like he just can't help himself but to cause trouble, and I feel like that's probably his way of getting the stimulation his body craves. But for Carter, he's pretty easy-going at home (unless you try to take away the electronics or change activities), so it's really just the in-school focus that is more concerning. So whereas Jacob has to take his every day, with Carter he may not need it on the weekends or all summer. We'll just have to see how that goes.
Once fall comes, we'll see how Carter fares at school. Third grade will be harder, no doubt, but I'm hoping that summer school will help him avoid the summer slide and keep him in learning mode all along. The medicine will help, but time will tell if we need to play with the dose more. In addition, he's already on the docket for evaluation in the fall for any additional interventions like a 504 plan. His current school and his new school share an assistant principal and psychologist, so they're both aware of his situation now and will carry that over to his new school. After a few weeks to settle in, they'll see where things stand and review his case again to see if more help is needed. It sounds like his teacher will be aware of his situation and hopefully we'll just hit the ground running then. After such a tough time this year, I don't want to lose any time next year. Because, of course, now that it seems like medicine is working, I'm kicking myself a little that we didn't start this process even sooner. Remote school obviously didn't help, since it made it harder to judge things and easier to assume it was the setup that was causing more issues than the ADHD itself. After all, you don't want to medicate if you don't really have to, and you always want to try other options before you get to that point. But in retrospect, it probably would have been a much smoother, more productive year all around if we had acted sooner. But it is what it is, and at least we can try to make next year better. And Lord knows, next year is a biggie so I'd rather get that one right if we can.
But for now, it's nice to know we might have some help over the summer and into the fall. There still isn't a lot of evidence that the medicine will be a cure-all, so I can't say for sure we have a winner yet. It was practically a magic bullet for Jacob at school, where he went from hating it and disliking his teacher to liking school and loving his teacher surprisingly quickly. Whether that will be the case here, I'm not sure, but it's definitely a start. I feel bad his teacher only gets a few days with this more pleasant version of our child, but at least he might leave a good last impression! I can't believe he's almost done with second grade and will be off to a new school in the fall. It seems like we were just here with Jacob as he moved up, then Carter's Kindergarten orientation a couple years later, and now we're wrapping up our time at this school all together. Our experience this time around was definitely not what we expected, in so many ways--between the pandemic impacting two of his three years and having more challenges than expected with Carter himself. We missed out on so much, but hopefully we can reclaim some of these experiences with a more cooperative kid next year. And now, the big finish and on to summer!
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