Losing Lacrosse

Lately we've had a rather odd turn of events.  Jacob no longer loves lacrosse.  He's okay with it, I guess, but for the most part he's just sort of over it.  I never thought I'd see the day.  I think a lot is playing into it, and I think it's mostly just temporary, but to some degree, I guess I get it.

First, he's a bit burned out.  Fall lacrosse started in November and he's been playing games and going to practices almost every weekend since.  He may have even had travel practice before that because of his fall tournament in Maryland.  He switched to a different house team this year, and for the most part it was fine, but there have been moments where I could tell he was frustrated with lack of playing time or opportunities.  He's never loved practices, and now they're up to twice per week for his house team.  He still likes his travel team, but again, practices are not his favorite--particularly because they fall on Sunday afternoons and like the rest of us, he'd rather just be home enjoying himself.  Luckily we're done with those for a bit before his training camp the first weekend of June, then tournaments for all but one weekend for the month that follows. I should also mention that he's also spent a lot of Saturdays doing ball boy duty for the Knighthawks, which only added to the overload.  It got to the point where he didn't even want to go to games at the end of the regular season.  It's been a long stretch, no doubt.

Second, he's really into basketball right now.  The Toronto Raptors are in the NBA playoffs and he's desperate to get a hoop for his birthday.  I'm fine with getting him one, though we're sort of deadlocked about the type--in-ground (him) vs. portable (us) and how fancy it should be.  We'll see.  He really wants to play on a basketball team whenever we can find one, which may mean he no longer plays lacrosse in the fall.  You wouldn't think that liking basketball means he has to stop liking lacrosse, but Jacob is very black and white about a lot of things, and this is another one.  Apparently his passion has to focus in one spot, and in order to demonstrate that he must shun any competitors.  Think about his all-Under Armour wardrobe (or Adidas before that), or any other sports phase he's been in.  It's nothing new, but given his long-time dedication to lacrosse at this point, it's been a little shocking.

I still wonder if there's anything else playing into it.  Maybe he hit his high point with the trip to Calgary and he didn't know where to go from there.  Maybe it's a touch of depression in the midst of a tough year of school and the usual trials at home.  Maybe it's even just savoring spending a little more time with me, as our Trading Spaces viewings on Saturday evenings have been nice.  He's mentioned that his confidence is down (or, rather, blamed me), so maybe that's part of it, too.  To be fair, I've said things over the past months to try to keep him realistic, but maybe he didn't take it that way.  It's not that I want to crush his dreams, but he's often tended to move into a space where he practically assumes he'll play pro someday, and while that's certainly a possibility, he has a long way to go.  Sometimes he's deemed himself one of the best players on his teams, but in reality, most of the time he's probably teetering around the bottom third--maybe a little higher for his house team.  He's always had really good stick skills, but he's actually not as fast or agile on the field as would be ideal, so sometimes those skills don't translate as well.  So, I've said things in the past--most often when he was complaining about practice or another player--that the success he wants isn't going to magically happen because his natural talent just isn't that strong.  He has a great foundation, but he will need to work for everything he gets.  He needs to focus and embrace practice as an opportunity to improve.  And whether he just heard it differently or got intimidated, I don't know.  Clearly something is up.  So, come fall, we'll be looking into basketball leagues.  Of course, he'll be fresh off a summer of playing basketball every day at camp, so who knows if he'll reach burnout levels on that, too.

We were really pushing for him to play fall lacrosse because he'd be with a friend of his who's a year older, and we wondered how we'd fit two sports in at that time.  Well, over the weekend that problem may have solved itself.  We arrived to his first house game of the season on a cold, rainy morning.  We noticed that a bunch of players were missing, and by a few minutes into the game the wheels were turning and the pieces started falling into place.  First there was last week's practice.  Jacob ended up practicing with some younger kids, and he was pretty annoyed about it.  We thought it was just because some other players didn't show up and numbers were off.  But with the absence of teammates and a bunch of smaller-looking, unfamiliar kids on the team, we realized that the team he played with all winter must have split.  Then we heard some other parents talking about it, and the grim reality sank in as Jacob's old team--who we destroyed in the winter season--won by over 15 goals.  We figured out that most of the older players had gone to the other team, and there were only a handful of them left on this team, along with a bunch of 1/2 players--meaning that there were players as much as three years younger!  Not only is it dangerous for those little kids to play up, but their skills were definitely not up to the task.  They could barely pass and catch, and when you're in a league where you need to complete a pass before the ball is eligible to be scored, that makes scoring really tough.  And sure enough, they only scored a handful in their first game, and got shut out in the second game (which may have been because one of their best offensive players went in goal).  It didn't help it was rainy and miserable, but once we figured out what had happened, all hope was lost for a good day.  We later recalled that there was an email talking about the teams splitting, but it was vague and did not make it clear who was staying and going.  Since we never heard anything specific, we sort of forgot about it and never noticed that the roster changed.

The thing is, it's not about losing.  That's no fun, but losing that bad is even worse.  The bigger issue is that the younger kids can't even compete, and there is very little growth to be had for the older kids when they don't have anyone to finish their plays.  It's just not good for anyone.  Upon further investigation, the coach explained that some of the team decisions had to do with siblings and ride sharing.  He said that the team wasn't supposed to be significantly worse, but that he kept Jacob on that team because they needed a few good players.  We're not really buying it, but we're doing our best to remind him that he can prove he's better than this, and that he can mentor the younger kids and hopefully find a way to be helpful.  Heck, maybe he'll even play goal!  Luckily it's a short season so we won't have to dwell on this for too long.  Ironically, the other team lost both of their first games, too, so perhaps they're worse than we thought--but how does one really good team become two bad ones?

Anyway, that may have just made up our minds for the fall.  In the meantime, we've got another exciting travel season ahead, so hopefully Jacob will rediscover his love by then.  We've also got Knighthawks playoffs coming up, so maybe that will rekindle something too, even if it means losing Craig for a few more weeks.  I don't think lacrosse is gone for good, but perhaps a little break isn't the worst thing in the world.