Post-Birthday Busyness

First of all, how is it even possible that we're in the last full week of June?  We're now in the midst of the biggest week of transition for the first half of the year--Jacob's birthday and the start of summer, the end of the school year, and the end of my work fiscal year.  It's a lot to process, every single year.

I think Jacob had a pretty good birthday.  Always hard to tell with him what his expectations are, but I think overall it was at least a solid mid-range one.  He had an exam midday, so that wasn't ideal, but after that he was able to work out and then come home to his presents and dinner.  He got a laptop, which he desperately wanted, a new PNC Park puzzle, a cheese slicer (he loves cheese and it is so much more pleasant than a knife!), and some new soap to hopefully help with his acne issues.  The laptop was obviously a big one, so the rest were really just a bonus.  

We went out to dinner at a new place.  He said he wanted fried chicken, and we'd been meaning to try a place that specializes in it and has great gluten-free reviews.  He and Craig got giant chicken tenders, and Carter and I had sandwiches.  All the food was really good.  Craig's mac and cheese was possibly the creamiest I have ever had.  Overall solid outing.  It may not have been the most exciting birthday he's had, but I think it was good.  We do need to plan a party for him at some point--I am already trying to think through new and different cake ideas--but both sets of grandparents were just here to watch Carter to play baseball so I'm hesitant to drag them here again so soon.  We also possibly have some travel coming up if Jacob is cleared to play despite his ongoing shin issues, so it might be a few weeks, but hopefully we can get it in.

This weekend was a pretty typical one.  Jacob had basketball practice Saturday morning, and I spent that time running around doing a few errands in the oppressive heat.  Once we got back and had lunch, it was nearly time to get ready for Carter's rescheduled baseball game.  Craig's parents came out for that one, which was nice for him to have grandparents there two games in a row (mine came out last Tuesday).  This game wasn't as successful for the team, but he played well.  Playoffs are supposed to be this week, but the heat index may be too high to play tomorrow and we're holding out hope that it will rain Thursday, since Carter's colonoscopy is that day and he likely won't be in any shape to play.  They're already going to be missing at least one of their other best players, plus Carter, so we're really hoping it just gets rained out to next week rather than risking a forfeit or losing badly.  He's played really well this season and I know this means a lot to him, so I hope he gets a chance to finish it out properly.

As I alluded to, we're now in the midst of a major heatwave, with heat indices over 100.  Unfortunately our pool isn't yet fully open and ready because it was such a crappy, rainy, cold spring.  It didn't make sense to rush it open and spend money on power and chemicals when it would be too cold for most of June.  And once Craig tried to get it open, every time he'd pump the water off the cover, it would downpour and replace it.  We also had leaks happening in the filter system, so that wasn't helping with the water level.  We're trying to play a little catch-up to get it open and enjoy it while it's hot, or at least get it ready and filled while the weather can warm it, so we can hopefully enjoy it even when the weather goes back to normal upper 70s and low 80s.  We had a bit of a debacle getting the cover off the other night with what little water was left on it (and I have a lot of mosquito bites as my souvenir since we did it Saturday night in case it rained again Sunday), but we're getting there.  This is almost like Florida weather, which is pretty crazy for here.  Summer took forever to get here and is now going above and beyond, I guess.  I had barely adjusted to 80s, let alone this.  Thankfully we've kept a decent breeze for most of it, which helps, and the evenings are lovely (but I wouldn't want to sleep in this).

Sunday was a day of making the best of the situation.  I decided to use the heat to my advantage and tackle some outdoor projects I'd been wanting to do.  All three involved the hose, so it was a perfect day for them.  I'd actually earmarked them all for my time off during the first week of July, but it started with thinking I could cross one of the list and it turned into all of them!  Might as well if I went through the trouble to get into my bathing suit and all.  First, I sprayed down my rubber car mats so they didn't look so salty and dirty.  Then I collected all of the garbage cans from around the house and scrubbed those out, then hit up the rest of the marks with a Magic Eraser.  That was LONG overdue as I've never really done more than wipe them out with a Lysol wipe.  Task #3 was also long overdue.  Our living room window has two side windows with screens, and over the years those have collected a ton of dirt (and probably pollen) spider webs, and bug carcasses.  They were SO gross.  I figured out how to pop out the screens, sprayed and brushed them down, and then sprayed out the window wells, wiped them down, and cleaned the glass on the outside part of the window.  It was so needed and I feel so much better now that it's done!  It was really the perfect day to do it--a nice wet activity to keep me cool.  Even though I was still sweating like crazy, it wasn't that full-on overwhelming heat exhaustion feeling, so the water did seem to keep it under control.  I did a couple other outside things over the past few days, too, including putting down the mulch I got last weekend and transplanting more hostas to supplement and/or even out the ones I transplanted a few weeks ago.  The one side barely took and the other was uneven, so I (awkwardly) grabbed a bit more to fix them.  Hopefully these take because I had a heck of a time getting the roots up, but I think at least some will make it through and hopefully continue to spread.

My yard is actually doing better than most years, I think.  I have so many blooming flowers among the ones I planted, and even most of the plants that had issues seem to be recovering.  A lot of my seeds did their thing, but now I'm just waiting on flowers.  My garden is a bit slow, but getting there with a few buds.  The lettuce has come in and everything else is gradually getting bigger.  It feels like a lot of waiting right now, but I'm really happy with where things are going.  

I love this color!

This white is so crisp!

Stunning, no?

I love the "tie-dye" effect on these!

First peek of color!  These are going to be a pink with a touch of purple, but I have some pretty blue ones coming now!

Another like the other portulaca, but less pink

These astilbe are so huge and pretty this year.  I have red ones coming, too.

I love this planter, even if the back ones can't grow much without light.

Even my usual fungus-ridden plants are coming along.  The bloody cranesbill I always have to chop down or pull out has almost regrown itself, and my azalea only has minimal spotting right now and continues to have new growth.  Despite being on the edge of my seat waiting on flowers to bloom, I added another wait to the list the other day.  I stopped into Aldi for a couple things and found a sizable planter marked down to $10 and then with a 50% off sticker on it, meaning it would be only $5.  It had dahlias (pink or purple--the dead ones were deep purple, at least), pink New Guinea impatiens (a new favorite of mine), and white petunias.  It was definitely heading downhill, but I felt like the dahlias alone would be worth trying to save, and if nothing else $5 isn't bad for a rather large pot.  I cut off all the dead stuff, added a little more MiracleGro potting soil, put it out in the sun, and gave it a good watering.  There's still some dying sections (like most of the existing dahlia buds), but I think it will come back.  It's drooping less and I think the sun will do wonders for getting it back on track.  I'm feeling quite impatient, but just one more thing to watch!  I'll hopefully post another update when there's something new happening!

Pre-clean-up

Post-clean-up, but before it really started perking up

Today was Carter's last full day of school, and it was a hot one for all the fun outdoor activities they had planned.  I can't believe he wraps up tomorrow.  This year just flew, but I'm so proud of him.  I know these last few months of feeling a bit under the weather haven't been easy, but he's continued to excel.  I'm really nervous about the next few days, though.  I'm dreading his colonoscopy prep on his behalf.  I was shopping at Wegmans yesterday to pick up some of the supplies, and I just got so sad thinking about what his day will look like Wednesday.  I know how miserable it was for me, and I hate that he has to do that at his age.  And obviously I am super nervous for what the tests will show.  We just don't really know what's causing this or what his diagnosis will be, and it's quite frankly a bit scary.  I'm thankful my anxiety meds are keeping me level-headed, but I know the stress will be off the charts on Thursday while we wait for him to come back out.  Will we be facing major diet changes?  Will it be a life-changing diagnosis?  All of the above?  It just seems so sudden and so unfair.  But at the same time it feels so important to get this fixed because he is super skinny right now.  He always was, but it's really noticeable right now, especially when compared to other kids his age.  He's so long and lanky, which may be genetics courtesy of Craig, but I really think his body is using all its energy to grow taller rather than putting on any bulk.  He wants to get stronger for baseball at the very least, but I don't know that his body can build muscle with whatever he's dealing with right now.  Hopefully it's nothing too serious and we get a nice clear path to getting him healthier.

Speaking of anxiety meds, Jacob finally had his extra long awaited meeting last week.  He is going to be starting Prozac.  We have it, it's just getting him started at this point.  It's nervewracking, but I do think it will help him be a little less overreactive about some things.  Like last night I put cheese in our salads and he started grilling me about when the cheese was opened.  We had an incident a few weeks ago where I put cheese on the boys' tacos and for whatever reason, it smelled super bad.  It wasn't past date, but the cheese (of course) states that it should be used within three days, so clearly I was horrible for using it.  But normal people know that's really not realistic to use it that quickly, and I've had cheese last just fine for weeks in the fridge.  I've mostly just looked for mold and moved on.  But for some reason this one smelled super bad and ruined the boys' dinner.  Now Jacob is hypervigilant about it, and even though the cheese was fine this time, he was freaking out about it and demanding to know when it was opened, which of course I had no clue.  It was recent, definitely within a couple weeks or so.  He was going on and on about how it was going to make him sick, which it definitely was not going to.  He was mad because I couldn't give him a date, but at the same time he couldn't tell me when any food I have served him has ever made him sick.  That would really be the only thing to warrant the grief he was giving me, so it felt pretty unfair to be attacked like that.  But it just felt like a total anxiety overreaction, and I think moments like that, plus his anxiety over his random injuries, could be helped by the medicine.  We'll see how it goes with the low dose as his body adjusts.  I don't love adding something else to his mix, but at the same time, it was a true game-changer for me and I want him to get a similar benefit where the anxiety doesn't need to run his life, even for mere hours or a couple days at a time.

Today ended up being a bit more eventful than expected because Craig found out this morning that the Knighthawks' current owners, the Pegulas (who own the Bills, Sabres, and Amerks) were announcing today that they would no longer operate the Knighthawks.  We sort of knew this was coming (as I sort of alluded to here), but the last-minute notification was a surprise.  There are a couple groups in the running to buy them and keep them local, but it's still a giant question mark.  I think Craig and his boss were hoping that they'd get a deal done before the Pegulas made the announcement, just because it would address so many of the questions, but no such luck.  So, now we wait and see whether he'll get any sort of severance or will be able to apply for unemployment until anything else gets worked out.  There's a reasonable chance the Amerks could offer him a job, and he does have some freelance work and a couple other irons in the fire in the meantime, but we just have a lot of unknowns right now.  Hopefully something comes through quickly so we don't lose any (or much) income.  We're okay, but it's definitely not ideal.  And of course, it would be sad if the Knighthawks folded or moved after all these years of having a team here.

This week wraps up with our 22nd anniversary.  It's pretty crazy.  It's been a tough year with all the stress and health issues and my anxiety ramping up.  We're just more tired and overwhelmed than we'd like, and it doesn't always make it easy to prioritize each other.  I was really hoping our Dominican trip last year would be a good jumping-off point to re-energize us since it felt a little like a second honeymoon.  But then we came home to COVID and all of the kids' health issues and any chill we had down there did not follow us back up here.  And it just got worse as time went on because the issues kept piling up.  My therapist keeps urging me to push for some reconnection and a better sharing of the mental load, but with all of the job upheaval (among other things) right now, that feels like a tough ask.  I will push for an anniversary date night out so we can have adult conversation without constant interruption.  We do need to prioritize our relationship, but hopefully she can trust me that I'll push it when the timing isn't quite so overwhelming.  But 22 years is certainly worth celebrating!

For now, we have other important things to focus on.  Updates coming soon... 

Seventeen

Dear Jacob,

Well.  This was not the year we were expecting, was it?  A little over a year ago, we started on this crazy roller coaster ride of your health and my anxiety.  While most of the ups and downs have evened out, we're definitely still on the ride.  I never would have guessed we'd be here with you down one piece of hardware and me on anxiety meds, but here we are.  I had really, really hoped your various issues would have all resolved by now, but it really has seemed to be one thing after another--the blood pressure/chest pain worries, a concussion, numerous viral things, a couple ER visits, the reflux, ongoing shin issues leading to surgery, the constipation issues, hip issues, fatigue, more shin issues, and lots more I'm forgetting, all wrapped up in anxiety for both of us.  It's been a lot.  I keep hoping one of these days we'll get a real break, but for now we're still doing everything we can to get you there.  On the bright side, nothing has really emerged as a long-term problem aside from your shin still being a bit stubborn.  There were multiple times in the past year I was really worried about certain symptoms, but none of those things have really come to pass aside from the surgery, so I guess that's a win.

Our parent-child dynamic has evolved, but it sometimes feels a little Jekyl-and-Hyde to me.  As you know, sometimes you are a lot to manage.  You have a lot of health concerns and anxiety that we have to work through.  You need a lot of nudging to do your homework, get out of bed, or eat food on a normal schedule.  You are very opinionated and sometimes fixate on certain things.  Your education has been an adventure, and your sports and training needs are high.  But at the same time, sometimes I marvel at your maturity, drive, and focus.  You are beyond your years in how you think through certain things and in making goals for yourself.  You are so confident, almost to a fault.  You have thought so much more about your future than I ever did at your age.  You are an amazing athlete and it's so cool to watch you evolve.  I don't have to worry about a lot of peer pressure things most parents worry about because you're so self-assured and future-focused, meaning you see the stupidity of things like drinking, drugs, or premarital sex.  You have strong Christian convictions and high standards.  You overthink most things, but most of the time you come to a reasonable conclusion.  For all the times we battle--about differences in opinion, travel preferences, food, etc.--I know that it still may be less than some disgruntled teenagers argue with their parents.  Even though things aren't always easy, there are times where it's clear how much worse it could be.

You have come around to accepting your brother so much more, which warms my heart.  It's not perfect--you're still overly critical sometimes and often downplay some of his choices or interests--but it is light years better than where we were a few years ago.  Baseball has bonded you, and it was a sweet moment on Father's Day to watch you two playing catch on the Bisons field, or to catch you coaching Carter or fist-bumping him during his games.  There were times I never thought I would see moments like that.  It has really changed the whole dynamic in our house and made it significantly more peaceful.  Really the only time I feel like I lose my cool right now is when your anxiety goes over the deep end (which we're working on).

And honestly, I know that so much of your frustration is justified and comes from very legit concerns.  You want a healthy body, you want to feed your body better but don't really know with what, and you want a better school situation.  None of those are particularly easy to fix.  Your impatience is hard even if it's valid, and I want to do better at helping you manage these things and ultimately fix them.  It's probably one of my greatest challenges as a parent to try to help you through these things, acknowledge the hard, but encourage you to find ways to co-exist with it.  I know what it takes to be an adult with a job and responsibilities, and those things don't go away just because you're tired or not feeling great.  It's one of the great skills of maturity to get out of bed and get through a workday despite less-than-optimal circumstances.  I don't want to dampen your spirit with the truth that it will likely only get harder, but now is when you figure it out, when it's still mostly safe to fail.  That's why I'm trying to get you to clean up after yourself or be more proactive and self-sufficient with food--now is the time to figure out what works for you so you can do it yourself someday.  I hope down the road you can respect what we're doing, just like I finally understood why my parents forced me to go away to college.

Speaking of which...college isn't that far away for you at this point.  Typing "Seventeen" to title this post didn't even seem possible.  How are you a year away from technical adulthood?  The person you have become seems so far removed from the kid you once were.  It's so hard to reconcile the two sometimes.  Recently I loaded a ton of photos on to a flash drive for my old digital picture frame, and it's mind-blowing to see my old favorite pictures of you crop back up and contrast with the big kid sitting on the couch across the room.  You are much closer to a man than a kid at this point--though mentally still clearly a teenager who needs a lot of direction--but it's so strange to think of how far we've come.  When the memory popped up on Facebook a couple days ago recounting how my water broke more than 48 hours before you were born, the reality that it happened 17 years ago was hard to grasp.  That moment is still incredibly vivid in my mind, so 17 years of age, life, and changes seem incompatible.  Pictures and videos of that tiny baby?  Impossible that's the same human that towers over me now and speaks so confidently.  The little toddler who spent hours creating elaborate game setups with various toys and figures?  OK, maybe he's not that far removed from the big kid who now spends hours building baseball stadiums on Xbox, but I just can't believe we've come so far.  Watching your children grow into adults is not for the weak, but it is one heck of a ride...and lucky for you, I like roller coasters!

At some point we still need to tackle driving and getting a job.  You haven't quite gotten around to those things yet, although working papers are in progress and you did randomly take (and fail) a sample permit test.  Fortunately you have all summer coming up to figure those things out and finalize what next year's school situation will look like (probably the same school but you are currently hell-bent on running the show next year if you stay).  Hopefully we can get that shin back up and running and finish the basketball season strong before you start preparing for the next one.  There is literally never a dull moment with you, and I hope 17 is a better year that gives you all the best kind of fulfillment.  We love you and will always be right behind you, even as the real world looms ever closer.  Happy 17th Birthday, Jacob!

Love,
Mom

Father's Day Weekend

Our Father's Day weekend was a full one!  I started off the weekend with a giant to-do list.  Granted, a lot of the items were sort of small things that I just needed to be reminded to do after putting them off most of the week, like paint my toenails, reorganize my shoes, re-pot some plants and cuttings, plant a couple of my pumpkin seedlings, sort mail, pay a couple bills, support my mom's Ride for Roswell, and other little things like that.  I also needed to do a few bigger things, like trim our bushes, drag branches to the curb, and hopefully buy some mulch.  I got a ton of things done, which felt really good--especially the bushes.  It's such a giant undertaking because they're all so big.  I started with our front evergreens, only two of which needed significant shaping (I'm convinced the third is on its way out like its previous sibling), moved on to the giant bush on the corner, then the lilac.  I think around then I took a break for lunch and went back out to do four giant side evergreens, another lilac, and the giant burning bush next to our patio.  It was exhausting, and I knew I'd be sore the next day.  I also ended up a bit sunburned.  The good thing (and the main reason I motivated myself to do all that) was that it was an abnormally cool day in the 60s, so it wasn't oppressively hot like it usually is.  It was still sweaty, tiring work, but better than usual.  After a nice shower, it was off to the Red Wings game for Little League night!

I was originally hesitant to go to the game because the weather didn't look great, but any threat of rain eased and it ended up being way more comfortable than I expected given the low daytime temperature.  It was quite the crowd with tons of Little League families and a giveaway, so getting in and getting lined up for the on-field parade was a bit more hectic than expected.  But the boys (all three since Craig and Jacob both coach) made it down there!

It was a pretty good game and overall we had a nice time.  I actually ran into my big boss who was there with her son's Little League team as well.  We didn't stay super late (not my choice, amazingly), but it was a fun night out.

I'm wearing my Red Wings quarter zip that I won through work last Christmas!  And how is Carter almost as tall as me?!

On Sunday, we headed to Buffalo to meet Craig's parents at the Bisons game!  We figured that with some of the ongoing family tension, we'd rather just get them out of the house and avoid it all together.  It ended up being a warm enough but cloudier than expected day, but it was honestly perfect weather for a game, especially since we were under the upper deck roof.  The game itself was pretty low-key as it got through all nine innings scoreless, and we all spent way too much time waiting in concession lines.  But it was still fun to hang out together.

Being back in that ballpark is always a joy for me because one of the best summers of my life was spent there.  Hard to believe it's been 26 years since my internship!  Seeing the interns doing their duties (now allowed to wear shorts, lucky ducks) brings back so many memories.  I was a little sad that their superfan Mark wasn't at the game.  Apparently Craig's mom had noticed he hadn't been around, so she asked someone where he was, and he recently had surgery.  I was so tempted to buy a shirt that was on clearance in the concourse that had his silhouette on it pointing to his armpit, and the shirt said, "You Stink", which is exactly what he'd say to opposing players when doing that motion.  It cracked me up.  I could really only wear it to Bisons games, or maybe out and about in Buffalo, so I held off.  But it made me smile.  He had his own bobblehead at one point, too.

We wanted to do the post-game on-field activities but with extra innings we weren't sure when we should go line up, so we sat and watched the top of the 10th.  Unfortunately, the opponent scored their 10th inning "freebie" 2nd base runner pretty quickly and then started racking up runs like crazy.  It was pretty clear we weren't going to win, so we finally decided to line up near the end of that run.  While the Bisons did score three runs of their own in the 10th while we waited in the concourse, it wasn't nearly enough.  The line score looked absolutely bizarre. 

After the game they were doing catch on the field and kids (and dads) could also run the bases.  We were among the last big group to line up (although there were plenty behind us) and they were taking groups in shifts.  The view on the field as we emerged from the wait in the concourse was pretty crazy!

We finally got down on to the field--my first time down there in 26 years!--and headed along the warning track.  When I was an intern, I was mostly on the field in two spots--in front of the dugouts for a few promotions, or out in the outfield for our Friday night "Supermarket Sweep" contest and fireworks.  Those were always interesting!

Jacob found it pretty easy to catch a fly ball out there!

Carter, not so much!

I noticed as we were walking down that there was a grown man (40s) and his elderly dad also going down to the field to play catch.  How cute is that?  It had all sorts of "Field of Dreams" vibes!  It was fun being down there as a family, even if I wasn't playing catch myself.

The boys mostly played catch with one another, with Craig taking a short shift.  It was cool to see the boys playing so nice together in such a cool spot.  There was a time I never thought I'd see them connect or do anything together, but baseball has been their big bonding thing.  This was a pretty cool moment, for so many reasons.

After we wrapped up catch, Craig and Carter quickly ran the bases and we headed out.  We drove to my parents' house and had an absolutely delicious steak dinner with filets and my absolute favorite sauteed mushrooms (which my father hassled Carter to try).  I wish we could figure out how to cook steak that perfectly!  One of these days!  We had a nice couple hours there and then headed home, with a pit stops for some new shorts for Carter (I couldn't pass up the 40% off Kohl's coupon) and road snacks for everyone (Mighty Taco for a fajita for Carter and a cookie for Craig, and Anderson's for a roast beef for Jacob and ice cream for me).  It was a pleasant ending to a really nice, drama-free day with both of our dads.  Can't ask for much more!

Monday it was back to the grind, including Jacob's last full day of school.

 

He had one exam Wednesday and has another tomorrow on his birthday.  His last one isn't until next Wednesday.  Today was Juneteenth so everyone was off.  Carter had his Seabreeze field trip yesterday, which went pretty well except it started absolutely pouring around 3pm and we ended up with record rainfall--not just for the day, but for any June day ever and 8th all-time.  We may not have had that much in Greece, but we had a lot.  The airport had over three inches, and parts of Henrietta may have had as much as seven based on radar and tons of flood reports, including right on the Thruway.  Crazy.  Unfortunately, that (and some showers today) meant no baseball tonight.  We got a few yard things done before that, but otherwise it was a pretty quiet day.  After we get through being back to the grind for one day tomorrow, we should have a relatively uneventful weekend.  Carter has a fun day at school Monday and a half day to wrap up on Tuesday.  Wednesday will be spent on his liquid-and-laxative diet, and Thursday is the big colonoscopy.  The problem, however, is that his baseball playoff game might be Thursday night.  We're supposed have practice Saturday that we're hoping will be a makeup game for tonight, but there's a chance we could play Tuesday and Thursday, with Thursday being the big championship against the Yankees, who are our big nemesis thanks to a really awkward game earlier in the season when the ump was terrible, the coaches almost came to blows, and a drunk mom flipped off our team and threw a $100 bill in our dugout.  That would be a bummer if it ended up that way since he probably wouldn't be able to play thanks to the anesthesia.  We're hoping for a rainout.  

I can't believe Jacob turns 17 tomorrow and we're down to the last few days of the school year.  A year ago today I came home from the Dominican.  I just can't believe we're at that point in the year already--it felt so much later last year.  This past year--despite all of the stress and anxiety--has flown.  I'm starting to feel like we're somehow behind on summer already--despite a few fun road trips--but I hope we can play some catch-up in the coming weeks.  Summer adventure awaits!

Beauty Break

After our crazy weekend, it was right back into the grind last Monday.  As I mentioned in my last post, I don't think any of us were ready for Monday.  I dragged myself through a much-too-quiet in-person day at work, which was maybe a little bit harder (or easier?) knowing that the next day was our all-staff retreat.  On one hand, that meant I needed to accomplish things on Monday because Tuesday would be a loss on that front.  That was probably motivating, but also challenging because that meant I had to be much more "on" than I probably wanted to be.  Off-site events are usually a nice change of scenery, but it also means that I'm out of my routine and need to be extra careful with leaving at a certain time.  While most of our retreats are pretty good, there's also the worry that it will be just boring enough, or maybe the right combination of not enough sleep and just enough being talked at, to lull you into a painfully drowsy state, especially right before lunch or once the lunch carbs have set in.  I actually had to miss the all-staff last year because it got moved to the day after I got back from the Dominican and I woke up absolutely exhausted.  I figured I might, so I warned my bosses that might be a sick day.  I wanted to go, and if it was a regular work day I just would have slogged through from home for at least part of the day, but I knew the combination of long talks and being "on" with 250 co-workers was not going to work with how I was feeling.  So...this time around, at least I had a day to recover, but I was a little nervous about how it would go.  

Thankfully, I was randomly seated with a few good people I don't get to talk to a lot, as well as the person I talk to maybe the most, my cubicle buddy.  That helped a lot.  We had a really good speaker who kept us engaged, and the event was pretty good as a whole.  I thankfully did not get tired, but I did get insurance--a real coffee from Tim Hortons!  I also ate a significant amount of carbs at breakfast, which could have backfired, but it was worth it.  We wrapped up our event at 2:30, and as it was at the Memorial Art Gallery, I took another walk around the gallery, mostly to hang out with colleagues since I'd just been through there a few weeks ago and not much had changed.  

It was an absolutely gorgeous day, and I definitely took time to wander around the sculpture garden, look at the plants, and just enjoy the sun.  They had a couple gorgeous pink dogwoods, which are a favorite of mine.

I think this was a peony.  So pretty!

The flowering trees were gorgeous and I sort of loved this unconventional angle.

After enjoying the absolutely picture-perfect day outside the museum, I decided it was time to head out.  As I was walking to my car I realized that it would be an ideal day to stop at the Maplewood Rose Garden.  I seem to make it there every few years, and Jacob's birthday week, give or take a week, is usually just about perfect timing.  And with some less-than-stellar weather coming later in the week and over the weekend, I figured it was a perfect chance.

I drove through downtown with a quick stop at an Aldi I rarely visit to check their Aisle of Shame for a couple things, and then continued on to the garden.  It's not in the best part of town, but in daylight on a weekday it felt very doable.  And I was not disappointed!

There's such a variety and so much beauty!  And they really do cycle through nicely so there's usually a good number fully blooming and others in various stages, and usually more plants on different schedules, so it's almost always a lovely time to visit.  It's really such a treasure to have in our backyard.  I was so relaxed as I strolled and soaked up every moment of the gorgeous day.  Add in a $1 Taco Bell Baja Blast Freeze, and I was a happy girl.

On Friday my therapist asked me when the last time was that I did something for myself, and I laughed because I've gotten much better at that type of self-care since the pandemic.  I told her that I just took a bike ride the other night, and earlier in the week I went to the rose garden.  I think I caught her off guard!  Yeah, I'm sometimes overwhelmed and burned out and give a lot of my time to my family, so I can see where she wouldn't have expected it, but now that my kids are grown, I am not one to shy away from taking in some beauty or getting in a good walk or ride.  I have to take those moments and those are what keep me most joyful and sane most of the time.

Speaking of which, I'm still really enjoying my picture frame full of memories.  The rotation of pictures--both family memories and beauty shots--are sweet and make me smile.  I'm probably going to add more soon.

So, last week had its high points, but aside from another baseball rainout, there wasn't a whole lot else of note, mostly just Carter's year-end chorus concert (which made him miss another baseball game, unfortunately).  I only got one video because the other really good one somehow didn't save.  But I liked this one, too.  It's always helpful when you know a song during concerts like this.

I always wonder how into chorus he is because he never looks thrilled, but he does like doing it with two of his buddies.  He's a little torn about next year at the moment.  I have to say, though, this concert also featured the jazz band and the show choir, and both of those were pretty fantastic.  Jazz band was just really impressive, like a legit quality listening experience, and show choir (basically singing and dancing together) left my mouth agape because one of Carter's best friends was in it, and I was just shocked at how well he did.  He's such a funny kid--definitely a class clown, a bit on the chubby side, but I did know he could dance thanks to a school talent show a couple years ago.  But I just didn't expect him to be a consummate pro out there with some of the steps.  I give him so much credit!  But I have to say, I really like this whole middle school thing--it's definitely a reward for suffering through some less-than-awesome elementary concerts over the past couple years!

So, overall, not a bad week.  Just counting down the days until school is over and I get a little break from work!  Next up, Father's Day weekend!

Back to Boston, but Better

Although we had talked about all of us going to Boston for the second tournament there this season, we weren't really sure if Carter and I were going to be able go.  We figured he'd end up with a rescheduled baseball game that he wouldn't want to miss.  But his Thursday game happened despite the threat of rain and nothing else ended up scheduled for the weekend, so we made the last-minute decision to go.  That also meant we could drive my car rather than rent one, since Craig doesn't trust the van anymore.  We figured it might be a bit tight with all four of us, but I purposely got a car that felt roomy so we mostly just had to worry about cargo.

I took Friday off at the last minute because I had a ton of little things to accomplish around the house before we left, and I hadn't packed anything since our decision was so last-minute.  That morning, Craig was running Jacob around to treatment, Wegmans, and a haircut, I had a therapy appointment and a couple work things, we needed to eat lunch before we left, and I had to get gas en route to getting Carter from school.  The plan was to pick Carter up midday, and while that ended up a bit later than we wanted, it ended up being about when I figured it would happen with all that we had to accomplish.  We had to pack light and the back seat folks (Craig and Carter) had a lot of stuff with them, but all things considered, it wasn't bad.  The drive was rather rainy at times, and by the time we reached Springfield, MA, we were dodging a nasty thunderstorm as we ran into dinner.  We stopped there to go to UNO, as we've been missing it since our last one closed.  Ironically, it was across the parking lot from the Basketball Hall of Fame!  The service was super slow, but it was still worth it as we had all been missing their food.  The rain stopped by the time we left, and I caught this dusk view of the Hall of Fame.

And of course, time for a selfie with a happy, pizza-filled Carter!

In the end, we just had a couple bathroom stops in addition to dinner, and got to the hotel sometime after 10.  It was the same hotel we stayed at last time.  The good news was that I was familiar with it and it was a decent hotel, but the bad news was that it was still around an hour away from the basketball venues, even though we were at different ones this time.  Ugh.  On the bright side, the breakfast was way better than last time, particularly for Jacob.  They had yogurt and gluten-free bagels and muffins, none of which they had last time.  We were able to sleep in a bit on Saturday, thankfully, as Jacob's first game wasn't until 4:40.  But that meant breakfast ended up being a bit last minute since it ended at 10, and then we sort of had to rush to our fun activity of the day after that.

As I usually like to throw in some sort of fun activity on these trips when I can, since driving six hours for a few basketball games doesn't feel very exciting, I had the thought that we could spend a couple hours early in the day to go to a Fenway Park tour.  The Red Sox weren't home, so a tour was the best we could do.  Jacob wasn't convinced that we'd have time, but the alternative was pretty much sitting around the hotel room all day and eventually I convinced him it would work.  I didn't want to drive the hour back and forth twice, so we had to bring everything we'd need with us from the get-go--once we left the hotel, we were out for the the day.  

Because we slept in, we had to grab the noon tour instead of 11am, and of course Boston traffic is always awful, so we definitely cut it closer than I would have liked.  It was even worse when I misunderstood a direction from the GPS and that added even more time.  I was so worried we were going to miss our tour entirely.  Fortunately, we had psyched out parking as we drove and found a perfect lot right across the street.  We made it just in time.
 

It was pretty cool to come into such an old ballpark that has such a different feel from most parks I've been to.  The old beams and brick felt a lot more "real" than most of the retro modern ballparks we're used to.

Walking out into the seats was surreal.  When you've seen a stadium countless times on a screen--be it a game, highlights, or any number of movies--and finally get to be there, it's pretty unreal.  I was just in awe.

It had such a different feel than any other ballpark.  The dimensions are different and and the old structure with obstructed views behind support pillars stood out.  Thousands of blue 1930s-era seats almost transported you back to another time.  They were amazing to see--original aside from layers of paint, and rather tight and uncomfortable, but history nonetheless.  Tall people bang their knees because they're so packed in, and our tour guide said she felt a drop of sweat at a recent game and realized it wasn't hers. 

Red seats are newer ones, blue are the originals - but the perk of the blue seats is that you're covered!

I loved some of the retro ads and murals around the ballpark.

We sat in the seats for a history lesson and watched the season ticketholder batting practice event.  Someone hit the wall!

We had a nice close-up view of the Green Monster.

Then we got to go to the top of the Green Monster!  It was quite the view up there.  In case you wondered, this is what the seating looked like.  They had a few tiers of it.

The view from the front row was pretty outstanding.

We got more history, including the names of the foul poles (pictured below is the Fisk pole) and the light tower that Ted, the raunchy teddy bear movie character, fell from.  Glad to get this nice shot of my boys!
 

We also got to see the rooftop garden that grows a bunch of food used in the stadium.  It was huge and thriving!

The view from the highest point in the stadium was impressive.  I'd gladly sit up there, although Craig is typically anti-upper deck (one too many hot, sunny game days (plus one annoying Toronto experience), I think).

The upper deck was pretty small compared to most stadiums, but the press box was actually pretty big.

This was the view from the movie "Moneyball" when Brad Pitt's character was interviewing with the Red Sox.

That was only the second tier.  They literally blew a hole in the ceiling to build a fourth tier when they had a lot of media around for their World Series runs.

We walked to the Samuel Adams deck in the outfield, and Carter struck a pose with Sam.

We learned about the red seat, marking the longest home run ever hit in the stadium--over 500 feet by Ted Williams.

By this point it was getting pretty drizzly, but I had to make the most of the view!

The tour ended in a mini-museum with all sorts of history.  This gold glove was pretty cool.

I was mildly obsessed with this mini model of the stadium.  

The very last spot on the tour was a store.  I convinced the boys to not buy anything since we don't actually like the Red Sox, but we did get a Fenway magnet.  When we walked out of the store, it was seriously POURING.  Ugh.  We initially ran to the car to consider our lunch options and realized there was a Wahlburgers literally around the corner.  It would be a wet walk, but at least we wouldn't have to pay to park again and we could cross another must-eat off our list.  I caught a couple cool pics en route despite getting drenched.

It was a super wet walk to the restaurant, indeed.  We only had one umbrella and I had a raincoat, but we all ended up pretty wet.  

This was probably a Pride Month thing, but I was sort of obsessed with these flowers outside the restaurant.  So gorgeous.

Lunch was delicious as usual.  We all get the same things every time and yet it never gets old.  We dried off a little bit while we ate, but we knew it would be a wet walk back.  I grabbed this pic of Carter as the fourth Wahlburg brother on our way out.

This retro parking lot sign on the walk was so cool.  

The famous Citgo sign was visible on our walk, too.

I almost missed this classic view because it was raining so hard when we went to lunch.  I'm glad I caught it on the way back!

Oh, and we were totally those suckers because they took our picture when we got into the stadium, and while I had no intention of buying it, it actually ended up being a really good picture of us, and good family pictures are few and far between.  So, I present to you our somewhat pricey (but also priceless) Fenway family picture.

We hit more traffic on our way out of the city, plus the rain for extra fun.  I could never live there.  Not only is traffic awful and it takes forever to get anywhere, but drivers are super aggressive and even downright rude.  They're not good about taking turns at merges and they dart in and out like crazy.  I would have to take public transit if I lived there because driving is not it!

The basketball venue for the day was at a private school, Thayer Academy.  Tuition is $66K and while I didn't initially recognize many names on their website, I did finally find a handful of well-known hockey players that came out of there.  The building had a couple hockey rinks in it (maybe I should have checked them out given their alumni!), and the basketball was taking place in the tennis court area.  That should have been our first clue this might not be the best situation, but I think the real first clue was that there was nearly no seating--just a handful of folding chairs at each of the four courts.  It then became apparent very quickly that the floors were super slippery.  It's hard to know if it was just the texture and/or the dust, or whether it was somehow being enhanced by the super high humidity.  But it was awful and downright dangerous.  No one could keep their footing when stopping, changing direction, or shooting.  There were so many slips that ruined plays and a few downright ugly spills.  Jacob didn't score at all in the first game, which was a pretty rough loss, and he was absolutely beside himself after the game.  Considering his usual anxiety over injuries, this sent it into a new orbit.  

The worst court EVER

We had a very short amount of time to run out and grab food in between games, and I'm a little surprised we even got him to go back. The big boys grabbed Chipotle and Carter and I got Jersey Mike's a couple doors down in the same plaza (just mini subs since we hadn't eaten lunch that long ago).  We headed back for the second game, and were treated to the most amazing ending of a game down the way while we waited.  One team took a one-point lead on a second-to-last-second foul shot, and when the other team inbounded the ball for the literal last second, a player chucked up a 3/4 court shot and it went in!  It was incredible!  We heard later that the other team was protesting it because they had video evidence of the clock saying zero and the ball still being in the player's hands, but I swear it looked good...and clearly we all thought so.  Who knows?

Everyone we encountered was complaining about the courts, from parents to players to refs.  It was so dangerous.  And it sounds like it's a known issue to locals because one parent said how much he hates it there like he's been there before.  I can't imagine how many complaints they got.  Hopefully they never use that venue again, but I doubt it.  Jacob will never go there again, for sure.  He'd rather sit out than ever play on a floor like that.  His career is not worth one weekend.  He did finally hit three three-pointers in the second game, a big win.  It's so nice to see the team when it plays unselfishly and passes the ball around.  Everyone scored, which was cool.  

By the time the game was over, we didn't have many options to get Jacob fed, so we just grabbed him takeout at a nearby 110 Grill.  I was tempted to get a snack while we were out, but it was late enough that I figured I'd survive without it--although I did end up eating a bunch of Jacob's leftover fries.  Unfortunately, it ended up being a rather late night before we all settled back down, and then neither Jacob nor I slept well, in part because Craig was snoring quite a bit.  Then we had to get up early because we had to be packed up and on the road by a little after 8am.  That did not go particularly well with a tired Jacob, but we managed.  But between last-minute bathroom use, having to stop a couple minutes into the drive to reclose the trunk, and a lot of back roads, we ended up pretty late.  Thankfully, the coach was later...haha.

The venue for Sunday was at a local public high school, and it was amazing.  It was a double gym with a tenth-of-a-mile walking track up above.  And, most importantly, a real wood floor.  Luckily we were on the half with bleachers.  I took a couple pictures while getting in a half-mile walk before the game.

Everyone seemed much more comfortable in this game, and we once again dominated.  Jacob ended up with 10 points.  He was in such better spirits after this one.  

Also, they really hit it just right--they won two out of three games, which is respectable, but because the team they lost to beat everyone by a bunch, they couldn't really make up any ground in the point differential and didn't make it to the playoffs...which was honestly just fine with us because it would have made for a very late departure.  So keep your dignity but also get out at a reasonable time--the goal of every travel parent, I think.

The plan for lunch was to get Carter and me Raising Cane's, and I wanted to drive around Harvard a bit.  I managed to find Jacob a gluten-free cafe near the MIT campus, however, he poo-poohed all the food options I mentioned (even though one was close to what he really wanted) and originally didn't want to go at all, but there weren't a lot of options so he relented.  But when we got there he flaked...the line was too long, he didn't want sugar, etc.  So back in the car we went and he'd get Jersey Mike's elsewhere.  The closest Cane's was on the Boston University campus, not far away.  There sadly wasn't a drive-thru, which was another hiccup, but we luckily snagged a spot half a block away.  We were right in front of the BU hockey arena, too.

It was also pretty much next door to Nickerson Field, which is their football stadium.  The Boston Cannons of the old Major League Lacrosse used to play there, and in fact the only other time I was in downtown Boston was when the Rochester Rattlers were in the MLL championship weekend and played there.  That was a game where Craig had to kill at least an hour on air during a thunderstorm delay.  The stadium is old but it's sort of cool--sunken with ivy walls and a few dorms overlooking it.  We managed to drive by a spot while trying to park where you could see in, which brought back some memories.  

Retro picture from the Rattlers game

 

Unfortunately, the closest Jersey Mike's was on the other side of Harvard.  That meant it made more sense to try to accomplish the Harvard portion of the drive before going there, which wasn't ideal--although, to be fair, I didn't eat my food until after either.  I expected Harvard to be a quick-ish thing, but....I was wrong.  Very, very wrong.  There was so much traffic, plus closed roads for some sort of event, and it was just gridlock.  There also wasn't a real clear entrance or anything, at least not that we saw.  We did see their stadium, which looks like something out of the Soviet era...lots of concrete!

As we drove around a bit, there were definitely some Ivy League-style buildings and gates.

Seeing the Kennedy name in a couple places felt pretty monumental, too.  But the traffic was so bad that it was hard to enjoy anything or really see much.  Eventually we gave up and headed to Jersey Mike's...but that also was a bit of a debacle.  It ended up being in a little walkable outdoor shopping area, but there was so little easy parking and it was also very crowded.  I ended up finding a 15 minute spot and the guys ran to get their food while Carter and I ate.  The Cane's was delicious as usual, even though it wasn't super hot by the time I ate it.  When they came back Jacob wanted to go to the Nike store there, but I refused because I didn't want to have to find parking near there.  By that point I was so agitated by the traffic and how our timing got screwed up that I just wanted to get back on the road.  We'd actually talked about stopping by the Basketball Hall of Fame on our way back, but after how long the Harvard debacle and the food situation ended up, that wasn't going to work either.  I did find another Nike store on our route out, but it turned out that it was at a large mall.  It was a hard mall to get your bearings at because the anchors were sort of tucked away and there were parking garages everywhere.  That made me want to give up, too.  But we finally did park and after some wandering, we figured it out.  Oddly, this mall was the home of one of the few closed Wegmans locations ever.  Why they thought it would be a good fit, I'm not sure, because I would never want to have to park in a ramp for my twice-weekly shopping.  Inside you could see the remnants of the top floor of the store.  It was sort of eerie to see what I think was a pizza oven from the prepared foods area and some tell-tale Wegmans imagery here and there.  Wegmans is such a staple here and to see the abandoned remnants of one was just weird.

The mall was pretty busy and rather nice, but it turned out the Nike store was super small and mostly for women.  Oops.  I tried.  I took this picture of the mall art while taking a few deep breaths after all of this frustration.

That prior hour or so unfortunately set the tone for the rest of the trip.  Jacob was annoyed about the Nike store and mad we couldn't do the Hall of Fame.  I was tired from the traffic and trying to problem solve.  Our plans just felt hijacked, and I felt like I was getting blamed for all of it, which was frustrating because I tried hard to make things work.  It hurt because I was the main one researching things and therefore the main one making decisions, and when I miscalculated, I got all the grief--even though there were other people who were fully capable of researching as well.  The difference in my mind, though, is that it's one thing to Google a place, but it's another to take into consideration where it is, how much time it adds to our route, whether that will impact other parts of the trip, how much something might cost, etc.--and usually I'm the only one thinking more deeply about all of that.  It's back to that whole mental labor thing, and sometimes I just want some help that actually has some depth of thought put into it.  A few times on this trip I was driving (as I did for all but the last hour and a half) and someone would ask me a question about food options or how long something would take, and it's like, I'm driving and you have a phone, so look it up!  I just feel like I get a lot of grief for how I cook our dinners, what foods I choose, how certain plans play out, being frustrated about the state of our house, etc., but no one else wants to share responsibility for things--so not only am I the only one putting myself out there with a decision that will later be critiqued, but I'm also looked at as the killjoy a lot of the time because I try to be reasonable and restrained and have it in my mind what might work best.  But I'm also tired and stretched in a lot of different directions and sometimes I can't put the amount of thought or work into all that's expected of me, so I fall short.  Certain parts of this trip, and particularly this day, brought out a lot of those frustrations.  I'm so tired of getting grief all the time despite trying so hard to make all the things work.  So, the way home was a bit subdued, although we still managed some decent conversation.

We stopped back in Springfield so Jacob could get UNO again, and then we stopped maybe an hour over the New York border for some Burger King for the rest of us.  Of course we hit the rest area at the exact wrong time and got stuck in line with a couple busloads of teenagers, but admittedly the break was probably good.  By this point it was also trying to rain again...ugh.  We'd avoided it for most of the day (although wildfire smoke made it seem pretty blah), but it hit for the last few hours.  We stopped for gas just past Syracuse, and I finally passed off the wheel to Craig for the rest of the trip home.  The back seat was pretty comfortable, actually!  It was a relief to get home just after 10pm.  We quickly unpacked and headed to bed, but not soon enough.  Monday was rough all around!  But I was definitely grateful for some fun memories and an overall solid trip.

So, here we are--Jacob has two days left of school plus a couple exams, and two weeks from now Carter will be done with school and all prepped for his colonoscopy.  I can't believe summer is upon us (but the weather, while better, is still confused as it's going to be in the low 60s for a couple days coming up).  Father's Day is imminent, Jacob's birthday is next week, and our anniversary isn't far behind that.  And yeah, it'll probably be the first day of school like, tomorrow, so there's that.  Oh, and today marks one year since Jacob's bizarre set of health issues began, starting with random high blood pressure, which means the anniversary of our Dominican trip isn't far behind.  What a weird freaking year.  So don't mind me, I'll just be over here watching my digital photo frame on repeat and being super weirded out by the passage of time and all I have to be grateful for.