Cincinnati, Part 2

With our family's hippo affection over the past nine months or so--since Carter's blue hippo from Aldi joined the household during the worst of his ulcerative colitis flare--it was exciting to have the chance to go to a zoo with very famous hippos.  Fiona was born prematurely back in 2017.  It took a lot of effort to care for her, but she became the smallest hippo ever to survive, and became quite famous on social media in the process.  There was also a lot of excitement when her half-brother, Fritz, was born a few years later.  We were excited to see them in person!  While I tried to steer us away from the store, they did have this adorable stuffed Fiona.  We have enough hippos at home already, but at the end of the day we did get a cute magnet!

I didn't really look at the map closely before we started walking, so we inadvertently took the long way around before finally getting our hippo time.  But they had a ton of other animals!  There were kangaroos in an open habitat that you could walk through without any barriers.  They mostly just ignored us, but it was a little intimidating nonetheless when one was staring us down.

These tiny penguins were so cute!

We did see real tortoises, but I liked this picture better!

There was a giant sea eagle that was probably about the size of a vulture or condor, and look how big the nests are!

There was a small but historic reptile house--the oldest zoo building in the country.  This was the view looking up at the classic old building.

They also had lots of monkeys, including these guys.  Look at that tail!

They had gorillas, and while they were a bit tough to see, this one in its little cave was sort of cute.

They had a bunch of nocturnal animals that unfortunately didn't photograph well, and we also saw a tiger and an elegant snow leopard.  This owl was so cool with his wings all spread out.  Maybe a cooling technique on a hot day?  Very intense look, though!

They had a large insect building, and while insects absolutely creep me out, it's always interesting to see what they have.  Of course there were creepy bugs, giant tarantulas, and all the nightmarish things that don't look like bugs at first glance.  Take this (still pretty) orchid mantis:

They had a giant collection of leaf-cutter ants.  There were two or three main displays and then tubes connecting them that ran throughout the building.  There had to be billions of ants, and you could absolutely see them at work!
 

More nightmare fuel, but look at that coloring!

They had a small butterfly area, and I tried like heck to get a shot of one that looked so pretty in the light.  This is the best I could get, one less interesting one with a blurry shot of the one I wanted.

This one was pretty on the flower, though.

Back outside, monkeys always make climbing look so effortless.

Quite the silhouette from that same guy, just hanging out!

They had a very large elephant habitat.  Hard to see, but this one is reaching up to grab a snack.

They also had an inside area, and I always love watching elephants use their trunks.  It's amazing.

I think I've really only seen manatees at Disney, but it was neat to see them here because they felt more interactive down in the tank than the ones we'd mostly only seen eating at the surface.

I was surprised to see this one sort of resting on its tail!

Always love a good fish shot.

This monkey was sitting so nicely on its branch.

The small-clawed Asian otters and orangutans didn't really cooperate for good pictures, but I did get some interesting footage of a sea otter using his toy like a shell, banging it on the rock wall.

Look at this gorgeous bird!

I've seen ones similar to this before, I think, but look at those feathers on its head!

The colors on this one were stunning.

We worked our way through land after land, stopped for a quick lunch somewhere after the elephants, and kept pressing on.  Carter was starting to lose patience because of the heat and sore feet, so we had to get to the hippos...stat!  My only complaint about this zoo is that the path was a bit funky to follow.  I felt like there was a lot of backtracking and random forks along the path that made it difficult to walk through as efficiently as possible.  But the selection of animals was top-notch and the exhibits made for pretty decent viewing most of the time.

We finally made it through Africa to the hippos!  For giant animals they were pretty active.  Their sheer size is impressive.  This picture does not do it justice, but they are imposing!

I don't know who was who, but look at those faces! 

This gives a bit better of a size comparison when you consider how far back that one hippo is.

They were pretty interactive and curious, and we probably would have stayed longer had it not been super crowded and getting close to our departure time.  But it was really neat to see them in person!

We caught a glimpse of the giraffes, though nothing will top my Animal Adventure up-close view from last year!

We had a couple more animals to try to hit on our way out.  Unfortunately, we didn't get to see the porcupine--he was hiding.  His name is Rico and he's internet-famous for eating very adorably.  One animal we did see was the flamingos.  I didn't realize there were two different types (lesser and greater, and yes, that does relate to size).  Some of them had such bright feathers!

They were also rather ornery.  Note the fighting at the beginning--follow the squawks!

Carter was pretty much done by that point, but their constant squabbles did entertain him.  And he did consent to this picture outside the zoo when we were going to the car.

We headed back to get Craig and Jacob after Jacob's final game.  Jacob was starving so we needed to find food (Carter and I each had a piece of pizza earlier, but it seemed wise to eat on Jacob's schedule before the long drive home), and he pinpointed a place right down the road where he could get a good burger.  Unfortunately, it was a sit-down place, which meant another delay in our travels.  The restaurant and food were both good, though.

Once again Jacob wanted to hit up an outlet to look for one thing he kept trying to find.  Luckily it wasn't far off the highway and he was pretty fast, but that was yet another stop.  When we got back on the road there, I think we were looking at an 11:30pm arrival time, without counting any other food stops.  Then, when it came time for dinner, Jacob found a place in Ashland, OH, but it was--you guessed it--another sit-down place.  Ugh, there goes another hour.  I wasn't even really hungry by that point, and I was so annoyed that we weren't going to get home until super late, that I went to that place under protest.  In the end, only the boys ate.  Craig and I opted for a stop at Wendy's instead, and I just got a Frosty to eat with one of my Wawa pretzels.  We got back on the road as the sun was setting, now looking at about a 1am arrival.  Little did we know, our night was just getting started.

As we approached the outskirts of Cleveland, all of a sudden traffic came to a standstill.  The GPS was telling us it was a short delay, but the longer we sat, the worse it got.  It wasn't moving, at all.  We had no idea what was happening, no sign of progress, nothing except a couple police cars (one that came back on the shoulder a while later) and a tow truck.  Minutes turned into hours.  Yup.  Hours.  At one point Jacob had to pee in a bottle because we were just stuck there with no end in sight, and he had to go.  Around hour two, we had a little bit of movement, and the GPS seemed to think the congestion was clearing.  However, it quickly became clear that the only reason we were moving was because there was a place to cross the median way up ahead and cars were crossing as they got to it.  I think we only saw one truck give it a shot, thought, which kept the lineup pretty solid.  We couldn't actually confirm until later that there was an actual paved spot to cross, and even then we needed to do some research to confirm that there was a way to get back on track without having to use this road.  We finally found a way, and just before the three-hour mark we gave it a shot.  We had to backtrack about 10 minutes, then take some back roads to get back on another highway which led us back to the original one at a point that was past the shutdown.  What a nightmare.  But, then again, I suppose it could have been worse and been our accident or something, or it could have just been one of us there to drive and having to navigate a full overnight on the road alone.  

We did a bathroom stop once we were back on track for a bit, and then I took over driving.  Carter nodded off by about 12:30, and while Jacob tried to stay up with me as long as he could, most of the car got a good nap in between the Ohio-Pennsylvania border and somewhere around exiting the Thruway near home.  It was a very long night.  We pulled in our driveway at 4:37am, with the first morning light just starting and the early birds chirping.  Well, that was more than we bargained for.  Obviously the kids stayed home that day and we let them sleep in.  I woke up in time to call the kids into school and get myself moving for a morning meeting, which I took from home.  I did end up taking the second half of the day off just to get some rest.  It was a pretty rough day all around.  It had been a pretty good trip, but that was not a great ending.

The rest of the week was spent in similar survival mode, just trying to get caught up with life despite loss of sleep and a week's worth of chores.  Carter finished his baseball season Tuesday, finally on a gorgeous game night.  The season definitely didn't go as he'd hoped, but he did hit one of the farthest balls I've ever seen him hit in a game.  It got caught, but seeing the power and potential was a nice way to go out.  Now we just wait for his travel season to get back on track.

Jacob had an extra short week with Friday off before the long Memorial Day weekend, and his school year is pretty much done in a week, minus a couple exams.  It's been a little odd watching his same-age peers going to proms and graduating, considering he's doing none of the above.  I guess I can relate to the "college is coming" feeling, except that for him it's not college, just going away to a different school.  There are all sorts of thoughts and emotions with what our next few months might look like, but that's another post.  

Memorial Day weekend has now come and gone, as well.  It was spent close to home.  The weather was still terrible--seriously, this spring has been the worst.  At least the third rainiest ever and we've barely had any sustained warmth (and by warm I mean merely average temperatures).  We might get 70 one day followed by four days of 50s, then two days in the 90s, and then back to winter coat weather.  We had two 90 degree days before we hit an 80 degree day, but then later that week there was a frost threat again.  Saturday was super rainy all day and barely got out of the 40s.  Luckily I had a whole bunch of inside stuff to do that day, but it stunk.  Sunday was tolerable but cool and cloudy, and finally Monday was decent.  The boys went to hit baseballs, but we didn't really do much that would be considered fun.  I tackled a massive to-do list--lots of cleaning, changing two beds over to summer sheets, fixing a towel bar in our bathroom, writing an overdue email for my family reunion, changing over my decor to patriotic/summer, two shopping errands, and then a whole bunch of outside stuff once the weather cooperated, including clearing and planting my garden, planting all of my flowers, and chopping a foot of growth off my burning bushes.  I also washed winter coats and changed out all of Carter's hangers from kid ones to adult ones (::sob::).  I'm not gonna lie, I was exhausted by Monday night, and even though there were more things I wanted to do, I literally couldn't let myself add them to my list because I just needed to feel okay about relaxing a little.  Stuff for another weekend, I guess.  It sort of kills me that I can cross 14 things off my list and still have almost as many things left undone.  

It's hard to believe we've hit the unofficial start of summer now, and we're really in the home stretch of the school year.  The weather might almost be getting with the program (like, I think I can pull the rest of the cool weather clothes out of my closet now), and all the field trips and lasts of the year are imminent.  Not sure how we got here, but it happened.  Fast.  I will savor my last days of quiet working from home and mentally prepare for the speedy season of summer.  And thank goodness for 8:30pm or later sunsets for another couple months--I need every bit of warm evening mental health strolls that I can get right now!  This time of year is not for the weak!

Cincinnati, Part 1

Last weekend Jacob had a tournament scheduled in Cincinnati.  I had debated whether Carter and I should go.  He had a baseball game, and I didn't always want to insert the two of us into basketball trips if we were going to complicate matters too much.  I probably would have been a bit more set on going if the Cincinnati Reds were home, but they weren't, so it was sort of a toss-up.  But then I started thinking about the 7-1/2 hour drive, and I realized it would be a super late night coming home, which made me think having two drivers was probably a better idea.  But we didn't want Carter to have to miss his game on Friday since the season was almost over.  But after one game where he didn't play at all, and a snarky response from his coach when we carefully and politely asked if there was anything he could do to earn more playing time, even Carter was like, "Oooh, I'll miss one at-bat!", so clearly that wasn't a deal-breaker for him.  As a result, all four of us planned to go.  

The boys had to miss school on Friday, but it felt worth it for a new adventure and presumably safer travel.  We had wanted to get on the road fairly early, but Jacob moseyed through his morning and we got on the road around mid-morning.  It was finally a nice, warmer day compared to the crappy weather we've had for so much of this spring, and it would only get warmer as the weekend went on.  I drove the first leg, and we stopped in Fredonia for lunch because we found a gluten-free place called the Angry Squirrel for Jacob.  I was a little worried it could be busy because it was graduation weekend, but nope, everything was pretty quiet.  We stopped at Firehouse Subs for the rest of us, and unfortunately got stuck on a weird route out of town looking for more food for Carter, which kept us off the Thruway for a bit, pretty much until the state border.  But it was a nice day and it was a bit scenic, and it didn't cost us too much time, so it was fine.  We did a quick stop in Erie, mostly to just grab some things from the back of the car, and then continued on toward the Cleveland area.  Our route veered off before the city, and shortly past that point we did a bathroom stop and driver change.

Jacob really wanted to stop at an outlet mall, mostly because he had to wear all Under Armour stuff for this tournament and he needed some shoes to walk into the facility in, so we stopped at an outlet mall outside Columbus.  That stop probably took a little longer than would have been ideal, but he did get what he needed.  From there we figured out that we should stop for dinner in Dublin, OH, at a Condado Tacos location--the same restaurant we discovered in Pittsburgh.  It was a cool area, with older buildings that had an upscale, modern village feel, almost like there should be a college campus nearby.  I was excited to try some new tacos this time (chicken bacon ranch and Mexican corn street taco were the way to go), and in the end, everyone agreed it was really good!  Unfortunately, while we were there we found out that there was going to be some sort of basketball walkthrough at 8:30 that night, but even if we had skipped dinner and went directly there, we wouldn't have made it.  We basically had an hour or so notice, which was annoying because it's a long trip and for us, we have to stop for "real" meals because of Jacob's needs.  If we'd have known the timing earlier, clearly we could have made it a point to get there, but we waited all day to hear and then didn't until it was too late.

Since it was too late, we decided to move forward with our other little side trip.  I remembered en route that there was a Buc-ee's location that was opening along this route.  I couldn't remember much about it, but I looked it up, and sure enough, it was a doable detour and it had only been open for a few weeks!  It was pushing our timeline to get in by the designated "lights out" time, but we all felt it was worth it.

It was like an oasis in the evening darkness.

And it was HUGE.  And it absolutely lived up to the hype.  There was so much to see--tons of food, lots of souvenirs and decor items--pretty much anything a traveler could want or need for the road or home, and a lot of it had their beaver branding on it.  We wished we could have stayed longer, because we really only got to explore a few parts of it.  We got quite a few things in the short time we had--Carter got brisket and gummy sharks, we got a paddle tail pastry, a bag of Beaver Nuggets (so good!), and despite my best efforts, we also ended up with a giant stuffed Buc-ee.  Not the big one in the picture below, but it's definitely small human toddler sized.  But to be fair, it was shockingly cheap.
  

We really want to go to another one--particularly on empty stomachs!  It was incredible, and even the gas was much cheaper there than anywhere else, which is a major victory these days.

We continued on and still had a bit of a drive ahead of us.  We definitely got in later than we wanted to, but we felt the extra stops were worth it.  However, Jacob got increasingly annoying as the night went on--partly because he was ticked about the walkthrough--but especially once we were back at the hotel.  Lately we've had a hard time in the evenings once his medication wears off, with him being oddly annoying and argumentative.  He likes to have "friendly" debates, but it's sort of relentless and exhausting.  And then he tends to find really odd things funny, and by that point in the night it was...unwelcome.  We finally got everyone to bed and tried to get some sleep before a busy Saturday.

Saturday morning sort of picked up right where we left off, with some low-level chaos and crankiness to get us out the door on time.  It was a nice hotel with a good breakfast, which was helpful, but we had to cut it a bit short to get on the road on time.

We decided that Carter and I would just go to basketball games on Saturday, mostly since the weather was looking pretty crappy, and then do something fun Sunday.  We had actually hoped to do something fun as a family that afternoon and night since Jacob was supposed to be done for the day in the early afternoon, but that plan got derailed a bit.  We had looked into going to a Louisville Bats baseball game, but between it being a bit of a longer drive compared to our hotel's location and the terrible weather forecast, we figured that wouldn't work out.

The venue itself was interesting.  It was a venue specifically made for sports tournaments, located in an old mill district of Hamilton, OH.  The building itself was part of a famous old paper mill, and there was a hotel and conference center in another converted old building across the street.  One decaying factory sat up on the hill above the property--creepy!  The place had decent amenities--good courts, a lot of food options, and parking was at least reasonable for this one--one low price for the weekend rather than expensive city garages.  However, at one point Carter and I ended up at a satellite lot across the river.  The shuttle bus service was top-notch, though--there was always one waiting, and the entire process was quick and painless, so I have to give them kudos for that.  The one downside was that the venue had major internet access issues.  The WiFi wasn't working right, and there was something jamming cell signals, so even our data wasn't working great to access the internet.  It made doing any research for the rest of the weekend challenging.  Maybe it was just the structure of the building, being so old and solid, but it was super strange.

The first game was a bit of a tough one.  Jacob didn't play a lot, but he did manage to score, at least.  They lost that game, but the worst part was finding out later that his coach was going to start him (which hasn't been the case yet this year), but that because he missed the walk-through the previous night (which, again, we didn't know about until shortly before), he couldn't do that.  He did end up starting later in the weekend, but it was a disappointing moment.

After that game, Carter and I went off to grab some lunch.  There was a Raising Cane's not far away, so we headed there just as the second round of heavy rain was coming (we missed the first inside the venue just after we arrived).  Cane's (which we're getting in Rochester later this year, by the way!) was delicious as usual, although it was a bit odd as we ended up eating near half of the team that just beat Jacob.  I had discovered in my research that there was a gluten-free bakery just down the road, so we decided to go there to scope it out.  En route, we passed by an Aldi, and I immediately turned in there because, as you may recall, Aldis in Ohio are special--they have wine!  We ran in and I quickly picked a few bottles of wine, some clearance prebiotic sodas I couldn't find in Rochester, and a snack or two for Carter.  Then we headed to the bakery, which was a little more complicated because it was in a little Main Street area.  The parking situation was made harder by some sort of patriotic-looking event across the street.  But we found a spot, ran in, took pictures of the cases (everything looked SO good), and headed back to the venue for game #2.  

That game was a win, but it became apparent that they were having some injury issues.  By the end of the game, Jacob was pretty much the only sub--hence why he ended up starting the next day's games.  We ended up having to stay after that and watch a couple other games, which meant no gluten-free bakery after all.  During one of the games, I walked about a mile around the upstairs area of the venue to get my steps in because I'm in the middle of a work steps challenge.  It was a good thing we didn't have plans, because having to stay after would have ruined them.  We found out later that the game we wanted to go to ended up getting postponed due to another round of storms, so I guess it's just as well.  After the Red Sox game got canceled the prior trip, Craig said he couldn't have taken another one!  

Anyway, just before we were finally able to leave, Carter and I headed back to the car, dug into a couple snacks, and went back to grab the guys once they were released.  We headed back to the hotel, and lacking any other good options for dinner, ended up at yet another Condado location.  I didn't mind because my meal was so good the previous night--and I don't think anyone else minded either.  This one was a bit understaffed with slower service, but the food was just as good.  Jacob, however, struggled that night.  His eating had been screwed up that day because they'd been stuck there all day for other games, and eating a big meal after that probably didn't do him any favors.  Even still, the boys wanted to shop at the Dick's across the parking lot, so we stopped there before we went back to the hotel.  We watched a bit of the Sabres' game (a big win in game 6, which later led to a disappointing game 7 loss) before Jacob headed off for a very long, very late team meeting.  

The next morning, we managed to get ready early enough for a decent breakfast before finishing the packing up and heading out.  The plan for the day was that we were going to drop Craig and Jacob off at the venue and then Carter and I were off on an adventure of our own!  It was going to be a very warm, sunny day, and we were going to the Cincinnati Zoo, home of internet-famous Fiona the Hippo!  On the way, I realized that there was a Wawa nearby (who knew they were in Ohio?), so we stopped there for an iced coffee (lemonade for Carter) and a bunch of pretzels, of course...my favorite!  Then it was off to the zoo!  

That and the trip home are enough for their own post, coming soon!

Post-Mother's Day Musings

It was a bit of an atypical Mother's Day this year.  Craig and Jacob were traveling for basketball, and Carter and I had to stay behind because Carter had a game on Friday after they left.  Of course, he ended up not playing at all in a close game, so...I'm not sure that was a wise decision in the end.  But regardless, it was just the two of us for the weekend.  I took off work on Friday to recover from my 16-hour day Wednesday and spent that day and most of Saturday trying to run a couple errands and do things around the house without a lot of time pressure.  I accomplished an Aldi run for some special finds I had been waiting for, a trip to Wegmans, walks both days--one in a new neighborhood during Carter's Saturday practice--and a stop at two farm markets to look for plants for the moms.  It was nice to have some time to just work through those things without feeling rushed.  I also made myself be okay with not cooking dinner either night.  I mean, I didn't really want to cook, but also, I feel guilty buying takeout.  But we kept it relatively inexpensive and the break from the kitchen took a lot of stress off my plate.

Sunday we went to Buffalo for the day.  We first stopped in Hamburg to have lunch with Craig's parents.  With Craig out of town and continued tensions with Craig's brother, I didn't want his mom to have a childless Mother's Day.  So I felt it was important to go, bring her flowers, and spend some time there.  I know I'm a bit of a consolation prize compared to her actual children, but I hope it made the day better for her.  We then moved on to my parents, where we hung out, FaceTimed with my brother and his kids, and eventually went out to dinner.  Aside from the usual veer into political talk with my dad, we had a nice time.  I just wish the weather would have been warmer and less threatening so my mom and I could have gotten out for a walk!

I realized during the day, partly after reading some social media post about a mom unhappy with how her day was spent, that I have somewhat "leveled up" on the Mother's Day front.  I used to have those feelings sometimes too--I worked so hard every day, and the least I could get on Mother's Day was a physical break, even if it was just Craig attending to the kids' needs while I sat nearby with a glass of wine.  As much as there were days I wanted to run off for some me time, I always deferred to our moms.  We'd go to Buffalo, bring some flowers, share a meal, switch spots and repeat, and drive home.  It was the one day i could almost always opt out of being the driver, at least.  But I'd usually get through the day feeling a bit underwhelmed, or annoyed about how tired I felt after a long day while facing another work week.  

This year, it wasn't even a question in my mind where we should be or how that day should be spent.  Especially as they age, deferring to our moms feels even more important.  I've seen way too many friends and family lose their moms, so I know how lucky we are to still have ours to celebrate.  But anyway, it surprised me this year to realize that I must be officially out of the trenches of the most exhausting, physically-demanding part of motherhood, as that break doesn't feel nearly as necessary.  I mean, I'd still like some flowers or a thoughtful gift, and I still don't really want to plan the day if I can help it, but it definitely feels different.

This year the boys gave me a shirt that says, "I'm a sports mom--Of course I'm running on caffeine and crazy schedules".  So true--this weekend included, but more on that later.  That weekend, Craig and Jacob had an interesting experience in Boston.  They had early games on Saturday, so they had most of the rest of the day free.  They decided to try to go to a Red Sox game (a year after we did the Fenway tour), but while they did manage to get into the stadium right when it opened, the skies opened up before it started and they canceled it five minutes before game time.  Oh well, at least they got part of the experience.  They should be able to sell the tickets via resale.  Jacob didn't play a ton that weekend, but the team did well.

Once we get past this weekend's travel, Carter's school season ends Tuesday, the next weekend is Memorial Day, Jacob wraps up his school year a week and a half later, we hit a few lasts of the school year after that, and pretty quickly it will be summer.  The weather is finally mostly getting on board with spring, at least.  It's going to be in the upper 80s tomorrow where we are, but home will be quite toasty the next few days as well.  It seems like maybe the cooler days are finally tapering off, thank goodness.  It's been so wrong to see all the signs of late spring and have it feel like March.  I marveled today as Carter and I walked through the rain because it felt foreign to have crappy, rainy weather and not be freezing, because we've had so much of that lately.  A warmer 71 degrees was much more tolerable.  

Because we were gone this weekend, next weekend is going to be a hardcore outside weekend--the garden, planting flowers and seeds, and hacking off a foot of burning bush growth.  Thankfully it's an early Memorial Day!  I also have to switch out inside decor to my summer patriotic stuff--farewell for another year, Polish eggs!  I honestly haven't felt like I've had much free time over the last couple weeks--lots of evening baseball, a concert, frequent grocery shopping, laundry, late work nights, and finally this week, packing.  I'm tired, still dealing with a very sore arm and elbow, and will have a very late night tomorrow night as we make the 7-1/2 hour trip home.  I'll share more about that soon!  But suffice it to say that "May-cember" is in full swing!

Stuck

Lately the word that has been coming to mind for me is "stagnant".  So many things just feel stuck in the muck, so to speak.  Everything just feels like some variety of boring, limited, unmoving, or inescapable.  Not in a terrible, horrible way, but in a way that definitely ups the baseline of anxiety and makes it hard to feel excited about or inspired by much.

The weather, for starters, has been pretty awful.  Carter's game last weekend was probably the second coldest sporting event I've sat through, second to one of Jacob's lacrosse tournaments when it was sleeting.  When the sun was out, it wasn't bad, but when it wasn't--and especially when the wind blew--it was rough.  And it was May 2nd.  Tuesday was just about as bad, except the bigger problem was wind-driven rain.  It took until last night to get one that wasn't generally miserable, actually.  We've had a couple decent days here and there, but the weather is remaining about 10+ degrees below average for another week or so.  It feels like a cruel joke, and it's frustrating because everything is blooming and it feels like we should be out enjoying it, but I haven't even wanted to walk much lately because it's been so cool and I'm just over bundling up.  We also had the rainiest March-April span since 1873, and the third rainiest spring ever at the moment, so that's been another issue.  We've barely been able to walk in our backyard since it thawed--and of course, when I did I found what I believe is a dead hawk carcass.  Great.  Maybe I'd care a little less if we didn't have baseball games to sit through (or have happen at all), but this month includes a big walking challenge at work and I'd really like to feel excited about taking my daily walk.  So, the weather just feels stuck in early spring mode.

Speaking of baseball, here's a pretty pic I took of Carter after one of his games.  It looks nice, and it was a warm day, but up in Greece it was about 20 degrees colder than other parts of Rochester!

Everything about living in this country feels heavy right now.  There's daily bizarreness coming from the Oval Office (or at least his social media account), inflation is sky high, gas is ridiculous because of a war no one really wanted us to jump into, and you can just feel the overwhelm from people.  Voting rights took a hit last week, ICE is still on the prowl, food and healthcare costs are through the roof for many people, and you can just sort of sense this anxiety from anyone who isn't "rich" because everything feels so much harder right now.  And yet half the country (although that number seems to be declining with each day and each stunt) still thinks everything's fine because this administration is literally lying about how good things are.  Living in a constant state of gaslighting is so mentally draining.  And it just feels like we're either stuck in this mess for another 2-1/2 years (even though the midterms should be a decisive victory in areas where Republican gerrymandering isn't happening right now), or something horrible is going to come to a head and it's going to get worse before it can get better.  So many people are scared or suffering, and it's a lot.  Trump unveiled a golden statue of himself the other day, and religious leaders were celebrating it.  Like...what?!

The economy and all of the increased costs has me feeling very stuck.  We have a lot of expenses right now since we're still working through our out-of-pocket max on insurance, paying for basketball travel, and all along paying for tuition and two newer vehicles.  Add that to a roof replacement over a year ago, and things feel tighter than I'd like.  And we're about to start paying even more tuition, so despite Craig getting a nice bump last year, it still doesn't feel like we have a lot of flexibility.  I still really want to redo my kitchen, and there are a few other house projects I want to feel rich enough to do.  But between the money and the mental load of those projects, it's just not happening.  In the past couple years I've gotten a bit down about real estate listings.  I've gotten emails from Zillow for years with houses in our area, and I enjoy looking at them and maybe even dreaming about what I'd like someday.  But especially lately, it's saddened me that there is absolutely zero chance we could move without ending up in financial ruin.  Between inflated house prices, the resulting higher taxes, and high mortgage rates, there's no way that anything would be doable, even a somewhat lateral move.  Feeling stuck like that is just deflating.  We had a house in our neighborhood go on the market a couple weeks ago, and while it's even less likely we'd move within our own town, let alone to a house that has the same bathroom capacity as we have now, the house is super pretty.  It's an odd contemporary split that I've calculated must have five levels--a small basement under the main level, a lovely ground level family room, then up a level is a lovely, bright, high-ceilinged living room that is overlooked by a dining area and kitchen (open through a pass-through window), followed by the bedroom level a few more steps up.  For some reason a couple of those spaces caught my fancy (and the yard is interesting too), and not that we would have bought it, but it definitely bummed me out thinking about it and how impossible it would be even if we found the perfect place.  I had a similar feeling when another house around the corner had a gorgeous kitchen that I pinned a picture of because it's my new backup plan for my own kitchen.  But just that feeling that it's not even a possibility is sad, and knowing that even home improvement projects feel like more than we can do right now is discouraging.  I wasn't planning on spending double on gas or groceries right now, let alone everything else.  I might feel better about things if the boys would get better about their messes and I could get the energy to organize and declutter, because that all contributes to feeling like we don't have enough space, but it's such a losing battle right now.

Lately my desire to escape has been strong, and of course that's been complicated by the money stuff above, but also, I likely won't be able to take advantage of much of Jacob's basketball travel to scratch that itch.  Now that Craig's season is over (no playoffs, boo), he's taken over the travel again.  That's mostly Jacob's preference as he and I are not the best of travel buddies sometimes.  Craig is probably a lot more go-with-the-flow and also tends to be a bit more free-spending than my frugal self, which helps.  The trade-off is a lack of pre-planning, but I guess Jacob's willing to deal with that.  But because Carter has Friday and weekend games, our ability to join trips is limited unless he wants to skip.  He's barely been playing, so there might be a trip next week where I might encourage him to do just that, but it's hard knowing there's adventure to be had and I can't do it.  Pittsburgh was fun, and I did get to do my Highland Park visit a week ago, but I've just been wanting a bit more.

Here are some highlights of the Highland Park evening, which was a little chilly but still pleasant:

Lovely tulips!

Even though these were a bit raggedy (not sure if it was rain or cold or what), they were still gorgeous.

I always look for these in one spot.  They're different but still pretty.

I hit the magnolias at a lovely golden hour again.  The colors were lovely.

Such a happy daffodil

One of the few blooms in the azalea/rhododendron section

My favorite tree!  Pardon the hand--getting good light and no blur, while reaching up on a slope, was tough!

Such a lovely sunset over the reservoir

Same view with blooms of Koreanspice viburnum in the foreground

Magnolias in the fading light

It was a nice evening walk despite the chill, although it was clearly a bit earlier than some years since a few spots had less to see, like the azalea area.  But it was nice to see more of the magnolias (although, oddly, a third were spent, a third were perfect, and a third were unopened), and the tulips were nearly pristine with only one variety spent and one unopened.  Lilacs are opening now, despite the cold, just in time for the Lilac Festival this weekend.

I'm also feeling a little stuck in a rut with my health.  I did have one clear test for some lady part issues--nothing serious, but with the back pain I'd had in January and one minor issue I'd been experiencing (which otherwise had an easy explanation), it felt worth checking.  But I can tell my body is battling hard against peri-menopause.  At least, that seems to be the catch-all for most women's random issues.  My tennis elbow isn't really responding to physical therapy as well as my shoulder impingement did a while back, and in fact now the other shoulder is badly impinged, so my right arm is not particularly useful currently.  I sleep with wrist braces on most nights to help with my hands going numb, which does cut waking up down to roll over to maybe once or twice a night.  I can feel arthritis creeping into my hands and each day seems to be part of a rotation of random body aches or issues.  A pulled neck muscle after yard work last weekend, knee pain while walking the other day, a sore left elbow just for fun some mornings.  I don't know at what point I should start asking harder questions about the state of my connective tissues, but we'll see.  I've also put on about five pounds in the last few months, despite not much of a change in lifestyle or eating habits, and it's mostly around my midsection.  I know that getting back to walking and some modest diet changes should help, but I can't say I'm confident they will.  I am trying a new supplement, berberine, which is supposed to help regulate blood sugar and lower cholesterol, among other things.  It's sort of like a GLP-1 med without feeling so extreme.  I'm currently ramping up my dose, so we'll see if it feels like it helps.  I do feel a little less snacky, so maybe?  But the chronic discomfort makes it hard to feel energetic, so I just sort of feel stuck there too.

The boys are good other than Carter not playing as much as he'd like and Jacob dragging himself through the last month of his school year.  The prep school thing is a go, so we'll be starting to prepare for that before you know it.  Craig's season is over, so he's trying to find his offseason groove.  We were hoping Carter would have gotten his coach's respect by now, but apparently that "team manager" designation that got him on the team is holding him back, because he's definitely not getting the equal playing time they're supposed to have at this level.  He's done the work, done well when called upon, but he's just not playing.  He didn't even play at all in a close game last night.  It's so strange, especially since he played with five of his teammates last year and was better than maybe all of them.  It seems like the coach has a preference for a group of travel kids, but we don't know the connection.  It's deflating and frustrating to seemingly not have the ability to earn time.  Jacob is still struggling a bit through his travel season, as well.  He had a swelled up finger for this weekend's trip, which didn't help, and he didn't get a lot of action on day one.  Oh, and he and Craig also got rained out trying to go to a Red Sox game.  Ugh.

I know that despite all of the frustrations, we still have a lot to be thankful for.  We have a house, good families, (mostly) good health, and even if it feels tight, financially we're still better off than a lot of people.  The good weather will come, adventures will happen, and beauty will abound.  I just wish it didn't feel like such a battle to get there.