A Little of Everything

Ah, Memorial Day Weekend.  It's always a holiday that I struggle with balancing productivity and relaxation.  Inevitably the weather is improving, which means that I need to do a lot of things outside.  I also may be switching over indoor decor and needing to catch up on house cleaning.  But I also need to relax and refresh.  Then I see people's social media showing them picnicking with friends and family and wish I was doing that, too.  I want to do all the things.  Finding a balance is tough.

All things considered I think I did pretty well with this one, even if I still feel a little disappointed or unproductive.  But rest assured, I was productive.  Friday night I worked on changing over decor from my post-Easter/spring decor to early summer/patriotic.  I tried to change it up so it took longer than would have been ideal, but I like the results.

Oh, and before I forget, a quick GI update.  Carter had his appointment on Wednesday and we pretty much just confirmed he's going to need a colonoscopy.  We spent a good amount of time talking to the doctor and it looks pretty much like he has some sort of IBD, but the doctor was happy with the MRI results.  I have to call tomorrow to see when they can schedule him.  The one doctor is scheduling into July and admitted that we have to get him in sooner than that, but I'm worried about how long we might have to wait.  He had another bloody poop Thursday night and I ended up calling the emergency line to see if they felt he should go into the ER.  The doctor had previously said that if things got worse (either the hemoglobin or the blood) that we should consider it, but the doctor on call didn't seem concerned, nor did his doctor when I messaged the next day.  So, we wait.  As for me, I had my appointment on Friday morning and they agreed with my PCP that it may in fact be the Zoloft causing my issues.  They put me on steroids for a few months to see if they can get it under control.  It seems to be working, but the true test will be going back off it.  If it resumes, then I might want to consider trying another anxiety med.  Or, I guess I could take one Imodium daily...who knew?  So we'll see.  I've had this recurring discomfort in my upper abdomen that's worrying me a bit, but that could be reflux or intestinal stuff, too.  Sigh.

And on the Jacob front, after his doctor visit, he started to freak out about mono so we requested he get tested just so he felt more comfortable working out and not risking spleen issues.  Everything came back negative, but in true Jacob fashion, that wasn't good enough.  He started feeling a little sick this weekend and has decided his symptoms match up with mono even more now because he has a sore throat and had some chills.  He's insisting that tests won't come up positive until symptoms actually appear.  Never mind that he thought the fatigue was a symptom and now it can't possibly be one.  But also, Carter is getting over a nearly-two-week cold and Craig and I have both been a little stuffy and had drainage down our throats.  So depending on the moment it's either definitely mono or I gave him something.  Ugh.  If it gets worse we'll possibly test again, but he doesn't seem tired enough to me for it to be mono.  I guess we'll wait and see who's right.

Anyway...Saturday started lazy--right there with the weather which had been cold and rainy most of the week.  Despite that, the boys wanted to go hit balls since Carter's practice was canceled (weather would have been cold but doable, but the fields were a mess).  I asked if he wanted to go with the art gallery with me, and he said he might, so I held off going while they were hitting and did some grocery shopping instead at Tops, Aldi, and Wegmans, where I picked up my new steroid.  Once the boys got home, Carter and I headed out.  

I've been trying to get to the MAG for months, but really for the past few weeks.  There's an exhibit that was ending this weekend, and I also wanted to see the revamped modern art hallway because my first favorite work was finally back on exhibit after 10 years!  The first time I went to the MAG, during my unemployment and in the midst of the interview process for my current job, I was amazed by this piece of art that looks like American Gothic but is giant, upside down, and made out of hundreds of spools of thread.  They act like pixels and when you view it through a glass orb, you can see the painting as it would appear.  It's really cool.  It disappeared sometime after I got hired and I never saw it again.  I had mentioned it on social media not long ago when the MAG posed a question about pieces we'd like to see from the archives, and they basically told me to stay tuned!  Sure enough, a recent video confirmed it was back on exhibit.

It was still trying to sprinkle when Carter and I got there, but it was starting to get brighter.  We had to park on the far side because it was free admission day, but the walk was nice.  I love this canopy of trees.  They're very twisty underneath.

I was also excited to see this hallway that is painted differently periodically.  I like the look of this one--it's fun and completely changes the space.

Sure enough, the revamped modern section had some cool changes.  I always like when new stuff catches my fancy, and this one definitely did.

And lookee here!  A Chihuly!  I had always seen that MAG was listed as having a Chihuly, but I had never seen one there.  Apparently this is it!  So pretty!

And at long last, the American Gothic did not disappoint.  It's such a cool piece.

The special exhibit I wanted to see was from an artist named Alma Thomas.  I've honestly never heard of her, but there were even a couple children's books about her in the gallery.  Her works were a bit one-note (they mostly looked a little like she was an expert sponge painter), but the colors on some of them were amazing.

I really did enjoy the colors, though, and was glad I got to see it.

Another gallery had some more recent acquisitions.  This glass was from the 1700s.  It's such a gorgeous, dainty pattern.

This mirrored piece next to it made for a fun selfie opportunity.

This one cracked me up.  At first I thought it was some poop emojis come to life, but no, these were mountain mamas, complete with the body shape!

I loved this piece of glass, too.

They had some different Wendell Castle pieces out.  A couple of his have been forever favorites that have been on exhibit for years, but it was nice to see some different ones.  One of my favorite ever exhibits was one of his furniture pieces, which a couple of these hearkened to.  

We were also pleasantly surprised that the "boot guy" was back, the big painting where the boot follows you as you move past the painting.  And as I said, I love seeing new pieces (or at least pieces I never noticed before).  This one struck me this time--I loved the bright colors and all the detail.

This one also tickled me a bit because it was titled "The Year it Snowed Early in Kansas".  It was a sweet little painting with fall colors on a snowy landscape.  Simple but endearing.

It was a quick visit and Carter made me a little nuts because he was mocking the meaning of some of the art (you know, making up goofy interpretations), so that was probably a good thing, but it was a fun little outing.  We did choose-your-own dinner that night, and called it a day.

Sunday started out with being too late for church, so we stayed home and watched it instead.  I was tired after being up with some GI issues overnight (I assume it was unrelated to my issues or the meds, but I guess I'm not sure), so I took a nap until lunch time.  Sunday was supposed to be another iffy day, but thankfully the rain missed us that day and once the sun came out in the early afternoon it got warm enough to get out and do some yard work.  I put out my shepherd's hooks and hanging plants, pulled about a million weeds from my garden, put down the soil, planted my plants (six peppers (new this year!), a tomato (both of those were bought; the rest were from seeds), some snap peas, a few cucumbers, a zucchini or two, some lettuce, and some beans.  Other than the peas I only had a couple decent starters from my seeds.  Maybe they're too old or maybe it was just too darn cold for the last week.  But I hope now that they're in the ground they'll do better.  Ah, the joy of a clean garden early in the year before weeds and insanity take over.

I also decided to use my starter tray to plant some pumpkin seeds, and when the lettuce bolts and the peas are done, I'll hopefully throw some of those into the garden.  I might have to transplant them somewhere else if they grow fast or the other stuff lasts longer than usual, but it's worth a shot.

I had to set up my new fencing after my old one broke two years ago and last year's was too flimsy.  I accidentally bought this one too tall, and the holes felt big to me, but I did two layers and then cut off the top eight inches or so, which I then twist-tied to the bottom of the garden for a little more critter protection.  Not sure if it will help, but I'm hoping it looks like enough of a blockade.  Beyond that, I pulled some weeds and made some mental notes about things I needed to do on Monday.  

I did take some time over the weekend to work on my diamond painting, which was nice.  I'm close to halfway done now.  I also worked on a pair of earrings, which I've been trying to do for a while now.  I had a reasonable amount of phone time but tried to keep it short and sweet.

Monday was another lazy start.  Delayed breakfast and Jacob complaining about his new illness.  Eventually I got myself dressed and headed out to the yard.  I spent well over an hour playing lumberjack in our way back.  Every year I need to go out there and cut down a bunch of little saplings before they get too tall and take over.  Of course, the ones I really want to cut are caught in the power lines, so I had to leave those, but I did cut down dozens of other trees, a few big ones needing a saw, and a bunch of tiny ones that the tree trimmer tool could handle.  I now have a pile in the yard that's taller than me!  Craig complained a little because some of those trees were helping baseballs stay out of the neighbor's yard, but I think the thousands of dollars in future tree removal I'm saving is probably better.  I need to get to them before they get big!  I came back in for lunch and washed out my many wounds from the blackberry vines, then went back out and cleared out more weeds in the back flower beds, sprayed the patio weeds with my vinegar concoction, and finally dug up parts of a couple giant hostas to try to plant in our front flower bed.  It was a big empty space where the gutters used to overflow, and the spirea bushes that were there died off over the last handful of years due to fungus.  I figured I had hostas to spare and figured they might have a shot at surviving there.  It was harder to dig them up than I hoped, but I got a couple decent clumps up.  Let's hope they take.

I was hoping to have the time or energy to go to Lowe's and get more mulch, but after all of that I decided I had done enough.  I had given enough of my time and energy to the yard this weekend.  I accomplished a lot, but as usual, I always wish it was more.  I still have bushes to trim and the mulching to do, and there's always a lot of weeds to tackle.  But the yard is a heck of a lot further along than it was when the weekend started, that's for sure.

So, I did house stuff, yard stuff, a fun outing, some grocery shopping, a couple good meals, and some of my own creative hobbies.  I could have used a fourth day, but all things considered, it was pretty decent.  Now we head into peak "summer season"--nicer weather, hopefully lots of baseball, the end of the school year, watching all the things grow, and anything else we cram in before the 4th of July.  I know everything is going to so fast from here on out.  It always does.  I'm not sure all of the health stuff is going to let us do all the things like usual, though.  So many problems, so many unknowns.  But we only get so many summers so I hope we can make it work.

I Can't Even...

I'm at a loss.  If it wasn't hard enough having one kid with medical mysteries, now I'm back to two.  I'm going to start getting a complex about spring, I swear.  Just thinking about warm weather and the end of the school year has begun to rile up my anxiety (yes, even with meds) because that time of year last year was so chaotic.  Between Jacob's issues and Carter's swollen face/mouth and all the craziness surrounding the Dominican trip, plus the usual end of the school year stuff, I was absolutely on edge last year.  That time is coming again, and already I feel like it's happening again.

Carter and I are both in a sort of in-between with our GI stuff.  The worst of the symptoms have eased, but things are still clearly going on.  My symptoms have gotten a little worse again, although not nearly as intense.  His are sporadic.  His next round of testing last week showed slight improvement in a few of the areas, including the all-important hemoglobin (a few tenths of a point but better nonetheless), but the one inflammation marker specific to the intestines that was already shockingly high was even higher.  I noticed that one of the other inflammation markers was extra high in the first round of bloodwork he had done, before anything consistent was happening (that was just some testing thrown in with the Celiac test), and then it came down later even though his physical symptoms got worse.  That lends credence to the idea that this was some sort of infection initially and this is some sort of aftermath--perhaps the autoimmune response the doctor mentioned as a possibility.  I still just find it so weird we have the same thing happening, pretty much out of the blue, at the same time.

His GI appointment was yesterday (finally), and mine is Friday.  I sort of wanted to call the GI doc and ask if I should get any blood work done beforehand, just to see if mine mirrors Carter's at all, but maybe that can come after.  I feel like both of our experiences should be taken into consideration because it could be either a genetic thing or that we both caught the same thing.  His next step is a colonoscopy, unfortunately.  I'm wondering if mine could be another SIBO test.  His doctor doesn't think it could be SIBO because bleeding is rare, but that would be on the table depending on what the colonoscopy shows.  As much as I'm worried about him and want to get his levels and weight up ASAP, having the appointment coming up allowed me to compartmentalize the anxiety a bit, especially since his situation hasn't gotten significantly worse, symptom-wise.  There wasn't really anything else we could do until that appointment, so I appreciated the little mental break, even if I know there's still an undercurrent of nerves.

And then there's Jacob.  Just when we thought things had calmed down with him, here we are again.  Did I mention that we were supposed to have his anxiety med consultation a couple weeks ago and somehow the system failed us?  There's some sort of issue with joining Zoom calls and seeing that the other person is there--in fact, I had it happen for an appointment of mine right after his, but managed to realize that if I went out and came back in, it might work, and it did.  Well, because of that we missed his appointment and we're now waiting another month.  That felt extra inconvenient this time around because it's been a rough few days of anxiety.  Jacob and Craig went to Pennsylvania last weekend for a tournament.  His first game was Friday night and he called me after pretty much freaking out because he was exhausted after running up and down the court a couple times.  He'd been feeling a little off for a couple weeks, but honestly, it just seemed like his annual funk near the end of the school year where he's extra tired and unmotivated in the mornings and just feeling a little down about various things.  It's happened the last couple years, so I figured this was the latest round.  He was still working out, but he did mention being extra sweaty and a little more tired.  But of course, he never wants to go to bed early and often lets his eating habits get out of whack, which of course could contribute to being out-of-sorts as well.  But he was so exhausted during that game that he was convinced that his iron was low.  It wasn't a bad theory.  He discontinued his iron supplements that he'd been taking for a couple years after his endoscopy found that he had gastric siderosis, which is iron deposits in the stomach lining.  It's usually caused by oral supplements and can be made worse by reflux meds.  They seemed to think it was over-supplementation, and I did ask if we should test him before taking him off, but they seemed to think if anything that we could test after.  I guess it made sense because his hemoglobin, RBC, and hematocrit were all good when he had the endoscopy done, so I don't think they suspected anything could be off.  But truthfully, he hadn't been retested for iron or ferritin for a long time, so we have no idea where his levels were sitting before he stopped.  We managed to get his GI provider to send in lab orders Monday morning, and results started coming in a few hours later.  Shockingly, his iron was really good (almost too good).  His vitamin D, however, was low.  That's a little odd since he does get 1,000 IU daily.  He used to take 2,000 IU but with all of his issues over the last year I began to wonder if it was too much, so when those ran out I had him take the same amount I do.  Guess it wasn't too much after all.  Otherwise his results weren't too notable, but there were a couple blips.  His anion gap was slightly high, and his protein, albumin, and creatinine were all at the very high end of normal.  His bilirubin was higher than in the past, too.  All of those things can typically correlate with dehydration, but some of those things can also be a part of a kidney issue.  Now, normally I would completely rule out the kidney thing (and I think the bilirubin makes the dehydration thing more likely), BUT if you recall we did have all those issues earlier in the year with the possible kidney stone, some pain, and an ultrasound.  The ultrasound was fine, although one did have more fluid than the other, but it decreased significantly once he emptied his bladder and no one seemed concerned.  But if you think about that and then bring in his higher blood pressure that started this mess 11 months ago and hasn't permanently gone away, I suppose that could be something.  Where that would have ever come from, I have no idea.  Oddly, high iron can also be a kidney thing, and while his was definitely not high, it was oddly higher without supplementation than it was two years ago.  So that strikes me as a little odd.  The GI provider wasn't concerned about the blood work at all, and neither was his pediatrician.  But I keep wondering if this is one of those cases where all the puzzle pieces separately seem fine, but when you put them all together (which a lot of doctors don't do because they don't overthink like parents do and assume a relatively healthy young kid is fine), it looks a little different.  His pediatrician said that nothing in the blood work would explain the fatigue, so he was referring us back to the cardiologist.  Jacob had a clean ultrasound last summer after having some chest pain and the high blood pressure, so I'm not sure what else they might look for now, but I'm honestly a little annoyed that no one is listening to the dehydration or kidney thing.  He does use a lot of hydration drinks, so I almost wonder if he's having too many of those and not enough regular water to offset the salt.

But suffice it to say that this was another wrinkle that we definitely didn't need.  Jacob asked about 400 times last weekend to get his blood work done, even though I assured him I had messaged the doctor, and he was panicking because ChatGPT was telling him it could be months before he was back to normal if it was the iron.  Then yesterday he was asking me about dysautonomia and POTS.  My friend ended up with a horrible case of POTS after she had COVID, and he's nowhere near that.  But UGH.  STOP IT.  We're not doctors and neither is ChatGPT.  ChatGPT is helpful but not perfect.  But his anxiety just won't let him quit.  It's exhausting and I think it's making his symptoms even worse.  At least, I know mine always feel worse when I'm constantly worrying about them.  

So, here we are, lots of health issues and no real answers.  I was hoping for more progress this week, but it ended up being a lot of hurry-up-and-wait.  Miraculously, Craig did his blood work for the first time in ages and I was honestly bracing myself for the worst (because why not at this point?), but the only thing that seemed to be off was his cholesterol, which has been up and down in the past.  There's still a few things he's dealing with--work stress, a bad knee, and some general fatigue that I think could be worsened by any of the above plus maybe the meds he's on--so he's not completely in the clear, but at least nothing concerning popped up this time around.

So, anyway, back to the weekend.  After the unsuccessful game on Friday night, Craig and Jacob decided to just skip the rest of the weekend and come home.  Part of it was probably because they actually had another player staying in their room and Jacob was uncomfortable being so vulnerable and miserable around someone he barely knew.  It was unfortunate to lose that money and it was a pretty rough deal for Craig to drive 11 hours in about a 30 hour span, but I know Jacob was thankful to be home.  It put a bit of a wrench in Carter's and my plans for our weekend, though.  Carter had our eating planned out, and I had some plans for us in case his baseball game got canceled.  Somehow the baseball game happened despite torrential rain in the morning, and the boys made it back just after the game started.  But that meant that I had to overhaul our eating plans and readjust my expectations of the entire weekend.  I think as a whole I was just exhausted by this latest development and I wasn't nearly as productive during the second half of the weekend as I wanted to be.  I was tired and doing a lot of disassociating with my phone, when I should have been doing other things.  The weather was also a bit demotivating because the warmth of Friday was interrupted by rain Saturday morning and cooler temps by Saturday afternoon, and then Sunday kicked off a full week of 50s (including a frost warning Tuesday morning).  Not exactly what I was hoping for in late May.  We'll be lucky to hit mid-60s for Memorial Day, which is pretty sad, yet that will be a vast improvement over this week.  The low 50s and rain later in week are already so depressing, and we're only about halfway through it.  Though, it all still pales in comparison to the insanity going on in the midwest, which has been hit by tornadoes daily lately, including one in St. Louis the other day.  That one made me sad since two years ago this week we were there having one of our best family trips ever.

Anyway...before all of the Jacob stuff happened, I actually had a quite productive Friday.  I ended up taking off the afternoon at the last minute (a combination of the waning nice weather and complete lack of motivation to work, although I did complete a big project that morning), and despite the 80 degree heat I managed to chop more than half a foot of new growth off our burning bushes and clean up a small evergreen, and I also tried to hack away at another evergreen to get at our gas meter that needs to be changed out.  Not sure I was very successful, but I made enough progress that I might call them to look at it again.  How they've been reading it all these years with it that covered, I have no idea.  Makes me wonder!  I also managed to organize a couple kitchen drawers that desperately needed it, and ran to the garden store to get my annuals and the garden plants I wasn't starting from seeds.  I figured I could do my flower planting on the porch in the rain Saturday, but those plans got derailed by baseball, the boys' return, and my subsequent blahs.  I did rebound on Sunday by getting a few bags of mulch, potting soil, garden soil, and a shepherd's hook at Lowe's.  I put out the three bags of mulch (I need more but just didn't feel like loading a ton up that day since I couldn't find a good cart and everything was damp) and planted all of my pots and planters.  I figured I needed to get them done and in pots before the weather shifted entirely, although they're all still on the porch because of the frost and rain situation.  I did plant six impatiens under our front tree Friday night because I desperately needed to clear out the dandelions and shoots from that area anyway.  I was pretty pleased with what I accomplished, though, and look forward to watching them grow.  Later in the weekend I reorganized a couple kitchen cabinets that had gotten out of control and vacuumed and wiped down my car, which had gotten rather messy after a full winter, a couple road trips, and the start of "grass season".  I wanted to be a bit more productive with my weekend, but those tasks all felt good to get out of the way.  I still have a lengthy list for another day, of course.

The only other thing of note recently is that Carter had his last orchestra concert of the year last Thursday.  Aside from the fact I was fearing illness because of the completely stuffed up woman a row and a few seats away from me (and I have been fighting something off this week), it was a really good concert!  The 6th and 7th grade bands were a little rough, but the 8th grade one was great, and the song selections were really fun!  The orchestra is a little smaller than band so they could keep them all in one big middle school group, and as a result, they sounded really good!  

They played five pieces and these were my favorites:

Starlight - a very tough piece, and even though I didn't recognize it, I think it's a relatively well-known song?

Rosin Eating Zombies from Outer Space - This one was hilarious because it was preceded by one of the orchestra members (not coincidentally, one who had a main part in the winter musical) running out and claiming that his rosin was glowing green!  Suddenly it "attacked" the conductor and she dropped to the floor--impressive considering she was in a dress!  She "recovered" in time to conduct, but I guess the students didn't know that was going to happen, so they weren't entirely sure what was going on!  But this song had so much personality, including the serial killer screeches.  

Any Way You Want It/Don't Stop Believing - It's always nice to have a song you recognize, and this fit the bill nicely.  A little Journey for our listening pleasure!

So, here we are...facing down Memorial Day weekend already.  Jacob has a mere three weeks of school left (plus exams) and Carter has just over a month.  I can't really believe we're here already, as much as my body has been craving summer sleeping-in for weeks.  It would help if the weather would turn around and if we could get some good answers (and good news) about all of this health stuff.  I'm tired.

Annual Gratuitous Spring Beauty Post

I love May.  It is such a gorgeous month around here, as long as the weather cooperates, anyway.  In the midst of another rough patch health-wise, I suppose I've been clinging to the joy the spring brings even more than usual.  I loved getting a bonus dose of spring when we were in Atlantic City, and pretty quickly things escalated once we got home as well.  But with cooler than usual weather and some rain, it's been challenging to really enjoy it.  I've done a good job getting out for walks this month because of my work competition, though, so that has helped.  It just seems so miraculous to see green and flowers everywhere after a long winter.  I suppose that happens every year, but as I alluded to in a previous post, this year it just caught me a bit off-guard, maybe because everything was late and it went from cold to blooming super fast.  I must have lost hope or something...or maybe I've just been too distracted by other things.

May 1st was my long day at work, and it was actually a really pleasant day outside, one of the first truly warm days we'd had.  I had to spend most of it indoors, but I decided in the late afternoon that I needed to go for a quick walk before the rain came in around dinner time.  I had to get in my steps and I just wanted to feel the warm weather for a change.  I did two laps around the building, and it was so much prettier than I expected.  The campus is an arboretum, so they do take good care of things, but I didn't expect to see all I did in that quick walk.  I did have to very carefully walk past what I believe was a nesting goose.  She was keeping a very close eye on me, but to her credit, she did not hiss.

This was outside the building on the end that used to be a convent for the nuns that taught at the Catholic girls' high school that was once in the building.  This part is our board room now, but I suspect it was once a chapel.  After looking at this picture, I realized that could have been a stained glass window once, but upon further investigation, it looks like the 2007 stone below the shield originally held a pedestal with a statue.  I love that this building has some history.  The high school touches are very evident in the back hallways and stairways.

Around the back of the building are woods (I've posted fall foliage pictures of that area before), and I noticed a bunch of daffodils cropping up along the edges.  I was surprised to find a couple different varieties that I've maybe never seen before.

I love frilly flowers and those just made my day.  I also stopped by the pigeon coop and marveled at the shiny rainbow feathers on one of them.  I wish my camera did it justice.  That walk was so refreshing, even though I came back to a bit of a tense moment as our big boss was getting nervous about our results.  But it was much needed to get out and enjoy the weather for a few minutes.

My walks have been rather pleasant since everything started blooming, especially if it's warm.  I loved this view of a tree around the corner.  Those pink ones were so gorgeous this year.

Thursday ended up being a bit crazier of a day than I expected.  I got a call as I left work on Wednesday that Carter had been scheduled for an MRI the next morning.  I guess I knew that the GI doctor wanted some imaging done, but after we had talked previously, it sort of seemed like we'd just do the repeat blood work and stool testing the following week and take it from there to see if imaging might be needed ahead of his appointment a couple weeks later.  But nope, apparently we needed to do this.  

We went in around 8:30 the next morning and he had to drink two bottles of this stuff for the contrast part of the imaging.  At first he thought it tasted good.  It was lemon-lime flavored.  But after two good-sized bottles I think it was starting to get to him, and he said it started to taste sour.  It doesn't give me much hope for his colonoscopy, but he was a trooper drinking it down in the necessary amount of time, with an IV already in his hand.

The procedure was pretty quick, but he did end up getting sick when they did the dye through the IV, which apparently happens.  It was small and contained, and he was in good spirits, but I felt bad.  He said his arms also hurt from how he had to lay.  We picked him up a good breakfast on the way home, and then I consented to letting him miss the rest of the school day, even though it was still pretty early.  I wasn't sure if food would hit wrong after that incident, so I just let it go and let him stay home.  Good thing I did, because he did have some lower half issues again that day.  That was the one not-good day since he stopped the probiotic, and I swear it lends credence to my theory of him having SIBO, if only because he had to drink two of those drinks and the amount of (artificial) sugars in them could probably rile up the bacteria pretty good--much like what I swear happened to me post-Mountain Dew during the liquid diet part of my colonoscopy prep day.  I'd had a completely uneventful GI day with only bland, simple things that morning, and then out of the blue I had a rough bathroom trip even before the prep began, and I can only think either the juice or the pop set it off.  

I had to go into work after that to take care of a few things, and you can bet when the test result showed up in MyChart I turned into a jittery mess.  Every new test result that had come in since his blood work and stool testing weren't great sent my heart rate sky high.  Fortunately, this one looked good from what I could tell.  Everything listed in the result looked to be normal, although I'm not always clear on whether there are other things they might not report on in that manner.  But I haven't gotten a call since, so I have to think that it was fine.  We did repeat the blood and stool tests today, and given that he's only had that one iffy day in the last 10 days or so, I was originally hoping things would look better.  The inflammation HAS to be down without constant diarrhea, right?  But then he showed me the aftermath of a poop last night and at least the toilet paper was pretty bloody, so now I'm probably even more nervous that we'll have an ER visit in our future when the blood work comes back.  But the one we took in for testing today seemed fine, so I'm not sure what triggers the bad ones.  I still think it's odd we both improved along the same timeframe and can't help but wonder if it really was a bug that just hung in there, and his may have started an additional autoimmune response.  Oddly, today I was back off but I suppose it could have been nerves about the next round of testing.  Oh, and interestingly, I was fully expecting my hemoglobin to be borderline when I gave blood last week since I'm probably still not absorbing well, but it was actually way higher than usual--although they have a new technique of testing it now and now I'm really not convinced it's accurate.  Anyway...back to Thursday...

I was relieved by Carter's MRI results that day, but this whole thing has been weighing heavily for a few weeks now.  Thursday's weather was also damp and cold and rainy, which didn't help my mood.  Thankfully, by the time I got out of work, it was clearing up a bit.  Still cool, but peeks of sun.  I was still not thrilled at the thought of a cold walk that night, but knew I could use the steps and the stress relief.  We finished dinner at a reasonable time that night, and I realized it was my last chance to go to Highland Park before the Lilac Festival started the next day, which would make it chaotic and inconvenient to visit for the next 10 days.  I had been meaning to go but never found a good time.  I knew a lot of things I normally see would be spent, but from pictures I had seen I knew some other things might be blooming--namely most of the lilacs, which I'm usually too early for when I go for the tulips and magnolias.  I figured it was nice enough with the peeks of sun to get through an hour of brisk walking and it would make that night's walk much more enjoyable.  I got there around 7:30, which only gave me a little over a half hour before sunset and maybe a little more before it was too dark to stay.  

I fortunately found my usual parking spot wide open.  First stop was the pansy bed, which is always such a lovely display of color!

The lilacs really were starting to do their thing.  There was purple everywhere!

I had seen a few pictures posted last week of bluebells--apparently there's a gorgeous spot near Geneseo that has them (mental note for next year)--but I was thrilled to see a few along the path, since I don't know that I've ever seen them in person before.

This was a different one than I've ever seen as well.  Guess it pays to go at different times!

This white rhododendron was so stunning.  The flower was giant!  I always shake my head a little when I walk through the azalea and rhododendron section because theirs are always blooming so early and mine take an extra week or more.  I apparently just have really late varieties at my house, or maybe being that much further north and closer to the lake makes us cooler?  Not that I'm complaining--I like stretching the season out!  The more flowers the better!

These trees were so gorgeous.  The color was even more vibrant than it appears here, and they were all over the place.  But this grouping was eye-catching!

I love the azalea/rhododendron area so much, and I hit it pretty perfectly this time.

I had noticed some white violets on my walk the other day but felt weird about taking a picture, so this was a better opportunity.

These trees almost look pretend.  Maybe because I feel like Lego has a version of these blossoms (or something similar) and my brain sees those because these are just too perfect to be nature sometimes!

I was walking through the magnolias (which were mostly on their way out) and from a distance I saw these flowers, which I don't think I've ever seen.  They were so pretty!  I inadvertently walked through some mud to get this picture, but it was worth it!

As I was walking, the sun was beginning to set and it started to cast the most magical golden glow on everything.  This pine tree looked almost unreal.  I wasn't the only one trying to take a picture.

The glow through this giant, dramatic tree was amazing.  The photo barely does it justice, but if you look close at the way the leaves are glowing, it might come close.

The tulips were pretty spent, sadly, but I tried to capture what I could.  I couldn't tell if the spots on a lot of them were part of the varieties they had this year, or if it was damage from cold or pests.  

This one was up by the Lamberton Conservatory entrance and was the closest thing to a non-spent, somewhat frilly one that they had.

As I continued my walk, the sky got more interesting.  When I got to the top of the hill by the reservoir, it looked like this.  It was so golden behind the trees.

This framing of it with a dogwood above and flowers below was so pretty.

As I walked back up and around, I realized the view in the distance was super orange from the golden sunset, whereas the foreground was already shaded.  This almost captures it.  

Even cooler, the top of this church at the former divinity school across the street looked fake, almost like something was being projected on it.  It was SO bright that it literally caught my eye through the trees and I couldn't figure out what it was originally.  I had to climb up a little hill to even get this much of a shot.

The creepy old psych center also had pretty reflections.  And see that dog in the picture?  She was so sweet and friendly!

I worked my way back down to the lilacs nearer to my car since the light was fading and I didn't want to be out there in the dark.  Too many hiding spots, to be honest.  I was looking all over for my favorite lilac, the one with purple in the middle and a white outline, but I never did find it.  But I did find this one.  My plant app doesn't think it's a lilac (Koreanspice viburnum?), but it was down among them.  

I loved how frilly this lilac was.  

The purple on this one was stunning amidst some of the more muted colors. 

As I walked back and forth among the lilacs, the sky got even cooler.  I tried to get back up to a better vantage point, and got this.

I finally went back to my car and headed home, but the sky continued to be interesting.  The layers were so cool!

When I finally got home it was almost dark, but the shadowy clouds and the street light just reflecting off the flowering crab tree next door looked really cool.

I'm not sure I realized how much I needed that walk.  It was so peaceful and so lovely and made me feel like I finally got to enjoy some true spring.  And after the day we'd had, it was just what the doctor ordered.  

My Mother's Day weekend wasn't quite as relaxing as I'd hoped.  We ended up having both sets of parents here, which was nice--more planning food-wise, but less running around than usual.  But I did spend a lot of time just trying to pick up the house and make it presentable beforehand.  I also had to assist Jacob with a long-overdue cleanout of his room, and then we spent part of a picture-perfect late Saturday afternoon at Carter's first official baseball game (after two rainouts, and likely to be followed by two more).  He played great--3 for 4 and a solid pitching stint to secure the win.  It's going to be another crazy season of bad pitching and questionable fielding which usually leads to the max number of runs each inning, but it was good to see him start strong.

As I said, it was nice having the parents over.  The dads did get into it for a minute (courtesy of the bad combo of differing political views and a couple beverages), and we quickly forced them to stop talking.  But otherwise we had a nice afternoon.  We even got a few good pictures:

I also finally tried some wine--first drink since starting my anxiety meds--and while I didn't feel the alcohol more intensely (or really, at all), it did seem to make me more sleepy.  I napped a bit after everyone left, and never really fully perked back up, which meant I didn't really get to do any of the relaxing self-care things I envisioned for myself going into the weekend.  Oh, well.  It's just Carter and me this weekend since the big boys are off to another tournament, so I suppose I might have some time then.  I'm also due a day off of work, but I was hoping for a good weather day to tackle the yard and I'm not sure that's in the cards this week, as much as I need it.  My yard is a lot like motherhood--so much work, but something that brings me a lot of joy, too.  It's always a lot to think about starting over again, but ready or not, here it comes.

So, now to get over the hump of the week, wait for Carter’s results, and inch closer to the weekend…