All. The. Things. Part Two

So, first up--the positive stuff: We settled on vacation plans!  We are (once again) going to Disney.  With not having to pay for accommodations, it's pretty much equal or less than most other destinations, and it is still Jacob's absolute preference.  And as I've said before, if you have a teenager on board with something, it's best to run with it while you can.  There's a chance he'll have basketball training next summer if he's going to play in college, so we figured it was worth doing it again this year.  The jury's still out on what the park situation might be this time.  Last year we didn't do any parks and Carter and I just resort-hopped, but this year I'm considering getting us two-day park hoppers to do abbreviated visits to each.  There are rides we love at all four parks so it's hard to pick just a couple, and as it's only a six-day trip, I didn't want to monopolize all the non-travel days with a four-day ticket.  Jacob isn't sure what he wants to do, though, and I'm sure Craig will follow suit with his plans to end up with our usual divide-and-conquer setup (but hopefully without Jacob's step limits this year!).  I'm actually pretty excited and I'm hoping my packing will be relatively smooth after all these years of going.  Still a lot to prepare, though!  Carter has grown so much in a year that we need new swimwear, rain-friendly sandals, and an adult-sized poncho for him.  I have to start gathering up things and making sure we're stocked on everything else we need.

We're actually changing up our resort situation a bit this time.  I couldn't bear to not stay at Old Key West at all, as it's become my happy place, the place I want to transport to when I want to feel peace.  I just have this feeling of being at home there, especially out on our patio with my coffee, and the waterslide is my absolute favorite.  Last time we stayed in a two-bedroom because Jacob hates the pull-out couch, but with staying an extra day this time, we couldn't do that for all the days.  We're doing a couple nights there at the end of our trip (to have something to look forward to) and doing the first three nights at Kidani Village at Animal Kingdom Lodge.  We can do the one-bedroom there because they have a murphy bed, which is far more comfortable for him.  Carter usually sleeps on a pull-out chair, or I believe he has the option of a fifth sleeper pull-out bed there.  We won't have a savanna view room, but there are lots of places to see the animals around the resort, and the pools look nice, too.  I think it will be fun to get a taste of another resort, especially one with so much character.  Old Key West is charming but a bit tamer in that regard, but after we visited Art of Animation last year I realized how fun overt theming can be!  We've got about three weeks to plan, and I know that time will fly and summer is going to be over before we know it.  Ugh.

So...the bigger thing that's been taking up most of our brain space lately...Jacob's school situation.  With prep school out of the picture, we had to figure out where he could go instead.  He was refusing to go back to BK, and even if he did, he was refusing to play basketball.  He does not like the coach for reasons I likely documented back in February and March.  He also didn't trust that his health would be maintained there either, for similar reasons as prep school, though more because the training plan would be subpar.  Like, the prep school stuff might have made a positive difference if his body could withstand it, but in this case, it would be dumb, useless stuff that wouldn't improve him but would still carry an injury risk.  So, not much better considering we'd still be paying a bunch.  But he was adamant that even the academic situation was super negative for him, and he did NOT want to go back.  And when Jacob is determined, good luck. 

However, as has been extensively documented here, finding school situations that work for him and his basketball eligibility has been a challenge.  We once again investigated the Buffalo option, but there were more than a few challenges there.  Any other standard local option would probably lose him his eligibility.  We were down to one final option, which we had discussed previously but I had dismissed.  But this time, it was really our only option: Craig and Jacob are moving to the other side of the county for the next year so Jacob can attend Pittsford Sutherland.  It's a really good school and he knows he likes the coach.  He's played for him before in travel, and the coach is excited to have him as well.  And I think he will fit in well at the school, too.  We were talking the other day and it came up that he never felt like he found a proper friend group, as his previous schools haven't really had an academically-inclined athlete group.  Most kids seemed to be one or the other, but I assured him that this one definitely would have a group like that.  Usually kids that come from well-off families not only have pressure to perform academically, but also have the money to fund their athletic pursuits.  So in that way, I think it will be a great fit in a way other schools weren't.

I also think the area they'll be living in will be a bit more conducive to various parts of his life.  It sounds like it could be a bit more walkable, which could help him get a job he can easily get to on his own.  He will be close to Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, and the biggest Wegmans in town.  One of his favorite recovery places is there, too, and that actually might be his first job inquiry.

He's also very excited at the prospect of getting to have a gluten-free kitchen.  He has convinced himself recently that I have been inadvertently glutening him all these years and that's why his body can't seem to recover or gain strength.  He's convinced that the air fryer and microwave are spewing gluten, that my dishwashing and the dishwasher are leaving gluten on plates, silverware, and other items, and that even the dish towel is spreading gluten.  Now, is that possible?  I guess, though I do take a lot of precautions.  Is it probable that it's happening to the extent it is making him sick?  I doubt it.  Or at least, I doubt that it's common or frequent enough to do as much as he thinks it's doing.  His bloodwork and endoscopy all looked great recently enough, so I think it's at least equally as likely that his body, which already has one autoimmune disease, could just be a bit more cranky.  It might not be some other full-blown disease, but it wouldn't surprise me if the higher risk for other autoimmune conditions could cause some of what he's feeling.  I do think there could also be a placebo effect from getting a new school, new scenery, and some additional freedom, so he might feel better just from that stuff.  Or maybe he's been right all these years that there was some black mold somewhere in our house keeping him down?  I guess we'll see how he feels in another month or two.  

Obviously this was an absolute last resort.  When I shot this idea down last year, Jacob was still a minor, but him turning 18 made it feel a little less concerning since he could--in theory--move out on his own now anyway.  So if Craig wants to come stay here for a night, it doesn't feel as much like parental neglect, you know?  Also, we were going to spend a boatload on prep school, so most of that money will go to this, without all of the added risks and concerns.  However, there are a TON of hoops to jump through to make it happen legally.  Craig has been a trooper doing most of it himself, including some stuff to "officially" split our household to make the move indisputable.  I don't love that we have to do that, but at least we could stop short of legally separating or anything like that.  Craig had to find an apartment, do all of the school district and Section V paperwork, and coordinate most of the other details.  It's also been a process over the last couple weeks of identifying what's moving over, what we need to buy new, and how all of this is actually going to work.  It's definitely not an inexpensive or uncomplicated process, though we are trying to use whatever we need to buy to finally upgrade some things in our house after this is over, like possibly the TV or a new La-Z-Boy or a dedicated gluten-free air fryer.  We do have a few things that have been in the crawl space that can move over, like at least one mattress and bedframe (it would have been two but Jacob is begging for an upgrade), a rug, a small table, and possibly a desk.  We have some duplicates or extras that they can take, like towels and kitchen  stuff, but there are some things that are just going to move out of our house and over there, like their dressers.  It'll be weird for a bit, for sure, with Jacob's empty room and holes in our usual furnishings here and there.  However, I'm hoping that with a little extra physical space (and less mess) will some brain space on my part to clear out some things and reorganize a bit here.  We have gone through quite a few life stages here and it's long overdue.

Of course, there are dozens of things I don't love about this.  I don't like that Craig and I will be split up physically for almost a year.  I don't like that Carter won't get a lot of time with his dad or brother.  It feels a little unfair for a teenage boy to be stuck with his mom all the time when he's got a perfectly good dad and a somewhat decent brother, you know?  And he and Jacob were mostly finally getting along, so it's a bummer to split that up now.  For the record, we did obviously consider what all of us moving might look like, but we definitely couldn't afford a house or larger apartment there, and we weren't comfortable with Carter needing to change schools for a year or leaving our house mostly unoccupied for so long.  I don't know what our family time will look like moving forward, like how often we'll see them or how intentional we'll have to be about scheduling that time.  I'm thinking Craig and I need to do a date night every couple weeks just to formally catch up beyond rushed phone calls.  Unfortunately, Jacob isn't comfortable eating here because of his gluten suspicions, so I don't know how often they'll come over for dinner or something like that.  As a side note, neither of them cook, but Jacob is eager to give it a shot, mostly with an air fryer.  We'll see how long that lasts.  

Adding to my annoyance with this is that they're basically moving there tomorrow, even though school doesn't start for nearly six weeks.  I understand needing to establish residency and all, which they have, but Jacob literally wants to leave and never come back because he's convinced I'm making him sick, and it's actually a bit hurtful.  I'm trying to not be a narcissist about this, but it doesn't feel great to have him so eager to move out of the house and insist he's not coming back (even though reality is that he will likely have to, even just for summer breaks).  Even though he says that he knows the gluten thing wasn't intentional, it still feels pretty accusatory, and his arrogance about how he's so sure about everything is off-putting.  This is so disruptive and such a hassle for us in so many ways, and while we know this is what we have to do, his entitlement and nonchalance about it are frustrating.  I'm trying to think about whether I'd be annoyed if he was so excited to go to college or even prep school, but I feel like that's a bit different.  That's full-on independence and it's natural for kids to be excited for that.  This isn't that, as he's really just changing scenery and seemingly readily casting off an entire parent.  It feels a little like he's deriving giddy joy out of something that's pretty frustrating for us.  Again, I know that's not how it is in his brain, and I'm trying to not focus on my reservations, but his attitude about it just isn't helping matters.  But I know this is sort of how Jacob is--it's that grass-is-greener mentality again, where once he gets something in his head that he thinks will be better than his current situation, he cannot and will not settle for anything less.  He will fixate on it even to the point of making everyone around him crazy, and in this case he brings up about a dozen times a day how he can't wait to move and can't wait to not have to eat here again.  Never mind that he doesn't actually know how to cook for himself (nor does he usually have the motivation to do even simple food prep for himself) and that this is putting a pretty big monkey wrench into multiple lives.  And now it's happening at least a few weeks earlier than I'd anticipated.

There's a lot of anxiety about what the next 11 months will look like.  I know this isn't a divorce or anything like that, but it's still splitting our family up and that makes me sad and a little worried.  I don't know how Craig or I will respond to single parenthood, or how we'll keep our marriage strong during this time.  I know we're still fully committed and all, but sometimes it's hard enough to connect well in the same house, let alone a half hour apart living busy lives.  We've definitely done better as a team all of these years, and this very clear split makes that a bit harder.  It might be good in that it makes us more intentional about spending time together, but I also recognize that our time is already stretched thin (especially if we want any relaxation time for ourselves), so it's going to take real effort to carve out that time regularly.  I hate to add another thing to either one of our lists, even though it's super important.  However, the mental break from Jacob might be good for me, as we butt heads a lot and he can be really overstimulating at times.  But Craig now has to deal with that full time alone, which won't be easy for him.  He usually won't engage Jacob if he's feeling argumentative, but I'm not sure what Jacob will do if he doesn't get the stimulation he's craving.  He likes to stir things up, and Craig not wanting to debate with him might end up frustrating.  

I worry so much about Carter, too.  Like I said, I worry he's going to feel left out and left behind with me.  He should have that brotherly interaction and have Craig here to guide him with baseball.  On the other hand, he's never really had the only child experience, so maybe he'll like that, but in the long run I worry he'll feel like he didn't get a vote in this and he's once again taking a backseat to Jacob's needs.  He did get to confirm he didn't want to switch schools for a year or live in an apartment, but I can't imagine this is ideal either.  I will say I'm excited to cook more gluten things for Carter for the first time (I already bought Pillsbury pizza dough that pops out of the can--I've missed that so much!) and explore more restaurants with just the two of us.  He's missed out on a lot because so many of our meals have had to revolve around gluten-free options, so I'm glad we'll get to explore that a bit more.  But I think it's just that general worry about how a big shift like this at a key hormonal stage of teenagerhood could go badly somehow.

I'm apprehensive about dumb things like how Christmas will work if Jacob doesn't have a bed here, or what's going to happen with the various messes I know will be left behind, like the cans and bottles in the garage that I've been begging Craig to take back since they're all his and Jacob's, or the inevitable piles Jacob will abandon around the house but get annoyed if I move.  I worry about how I will bond with other parents when our living situation is super hard to explain, or how to handle this on social media without creating questions or being mysteriously absent.  The parent one is sort of perplexing me because we'll clearly be happily married at games, but things will seem sort of suspicious if anything comes up about where Carter goes to school or where any of us live.  I struggle to bond with other parents under normal circumstances (I blame social anxiety that always makes me feel like I'm invading their group), so this is a whole other level of awkward.  As I look at house projects that I was hoping to get help with, I'm facing down the reality that they're either going to wait a year, or I just have to figure out how to do them myself.  Maybe that will be empowering--the whole "no one's coming to save you" thing--but yeah, it sort of sucks to be left with all those additional responsibilities and very limited opportunities to get help.  But I know Craig is taking one for the team here, because being at Jacob's beckon call, having to move his life to an apartment from a perfectly good house, and still having parenting and house duties across town is a LOT.  He definitely drew the short straw here, but it just shows what a good dad he is that he wants to make this happen for Jacob.  I also want to, of course, but in my current mental state, even my small role in this feels awfully overwhelming right now.  I just want to come out of this unscathed and be able to be a happy family when we're all reunited, but I'm not sure Jacob will be on board with that, and it feels like there are a lot of unknowns that I'm not even considering right now.  It's scary in a way I haven't experienced before.  I knew I'd need to let go if he went to prep school this fall, and college is coming quickly, but this just feels different.

I'm sure all of this chaos will feel much more worthwhile once he's thriving and happy and playing basketball again, but right now, it's tough.  I'm not one of those people that can convincingly say, "Great!" in response to someone's "How are you?" if things aren't great.  Either I sound fake, or I can't mask my overwhelm.  I'm like the guy in "Liar, Liar" - "I can't LIE!"  It's sort of the same reason I usually get brutally honest here--because I'm not going to be fake or present a version of reality that isn't true.  I might not always get into the worst of the depths, but I usually don't entirely sugarcoat it.  But this is one of those situations where so much is going on behind-the-scenes, but it's so hard to explain without sounding crazy, but how do I just act like everything is normal?  You know how when something big and horrible (or even big and good) is going on in someone's life and they struggle to do everyday things because they're completely preoccupied with this issue, while everyone else is just going on their merry way?  You hear it a lot when people are mourning deaths or dealing with a major illness, how even a grocery trip is torture because no one realizes all they're dealing with and it feels so isolating to see people living normal lives.  This obviously isn't that bad, but it's hard to just act like my life is normal when all of this *gestures wildly* is going on.  It's a little reminiscent of when I was pregnant and had to function normally and pretend I wasn't exhausted or excited or anxious about this secret life that no one knew about.  This is just too complicated to explain to someone I'm not close to, so it just makes me want to withdraw from conversations for fear my honesty will make it weird.    

 I'm still not entirely comfortable with this whole scenario, but even if I don't like it, I can acknowledge that there probably wasn't any other acceptable option at this point.  I'm sure I'll have more thoughts on all of this in the days ahead, as we navigate the early days of the split and I remember concerns or challenges I forgot to mention this time.  So, anyway, that's what's been going on here.  It's taken "Never a dull moment" to a new level.

All. The. Things. Part One

I barely know where to begin, as the last couple weeks have been...a LOT.

As I mentioned in my last post, Jacob was struggling with his decision to go to prep school, both because of the ridiculous training plan and the potential challenges the travel could pose to his safe eating.  The training plan was way too much and even his current trainer thought it looked like a bad AI plan.  The coach wasn't willing to work with him on it to work around his body's problem areas, and he also wouldn't have an athletic trainer there to assess his stress or recovery levels, which worried him.  We also didn't get  lot of assurance about what road trip eating would look like.  By the time the guys left for most of a week in Atlanta for basketball, Jacob was pretty sure he wasn't going to prep school.  Ironically, that trip solidified it for him.  He had a great first game, and then his school coach sort of took over the team he was playing on (even though he wasn't the head coach) and everything went downhill.  He put the players down badly after the game, which was completely demotivating.  Then they had a team dinner that night, and the coach insisted on getting Jacob a chicken salad from Olive Garden.  Jacob knew it probably wasn't a good idea, but the coach insisted it would be safe so he tried to be a good sport about it.  And honestly, by that point he didn't really want to play anymore, so he unfortunately had a bit of a laissez-faire attitude about it...and sure enough, he seemed to get glutened.  He felt terrible, and they headed home a day early.  He'd also gotten hit in the head during one of his games, and he had enough of a headache that when he got home, he got checked for a concussion, which was confirmed.  Obviously that's not great and those always slow him down a lot, so between all the things, it's been a slow recovery.  But in the end, it all validated the decision to not go to prep school, as his coach's attitude about his health situation and knowing that the offending salad was likely to be the backup plan on every roadtrip pretty much confirmed every fear we had.  And why would we spend all that money to send him off to get injured or sick or be generally miserable?

All of these things also put a crimp in their plan to check out some baseball stuff down there, even though the Braves were out of town.  They did go to the area around their stadium, and they did get to see some World Cup stuff while they were there, but they didn't get to go to the Braves' farm team's game like they wanted.  It was a long drive down and a long drive back, although they did get to visit a couple Buc-ee's along the way!
 

Carter and I wanted to go on that trip, but he ended up with a bunch of things happening that week, including four baseball games, a baseball camp, his infusion, and on the last day, his colonoscopy prep.  So we stayed home and did all of that stuff.

First real baseball camp!

The view on the way back from one of the games, after surviving a really rainy game!

He had a chance to pitch the next night--not his best outing, but he got out of it all okay!

Later in the week, we had this gorgeous sunset over his last at-bat!

The "postgame show"

In the meantime, my plants have been a bit all over the place.  Some are great, like my tri-color hydrangeas (even though I wish they had more blooms).

My coneflowers are gorgeous too, and I love when the center looks like a complex geometric art piece.

Oh, and they get visitors like this, too.

The following week started with Carter's colonoscopy prep, which he was again an absolute champ for.  He does so well with it.  The hardest part of the whole thing was getting him to wake up after.  Like his father and brother, he comes out of it slowly.  It took a half hour of periodic shakes and talking to get him to even open his eyes!  He was a little loopy and pretty much sounded drunk for a solid hour after that, but he couldn't wait for his lunch from Shake Shack!  The scope itself was really good--very little inflammation seen, and really just some pathology that came back showing a lot of healing tissue, which is promising.  We still have our follow-up in a couple weeks, but it's amazing how far he's come in just 10 months.  That week was also supposed to be baseball playoff week, but it got canceled almost entirely because of wildfire smoke drifting down from Canada.  A couple days were really bad with upper level smoke that made everything look like this...

And a couple days had lower level smoke, which made the air quality terrible.  It was pretty annoying, but not much we can do when that happens.  Seems to be an annual issue now.  

The following weekend Carter's team had a tournament locally.  Unfortunately, it had them playing on the biggest fields (which their summer league did not) and they were clearly not ready for that.  Only a portion of the team had played on those fields in modified, so the pitchers weren't used to it and everything was that much harder.  They lost their first game by 20-some runs.  The next day, they moved the games up because of the threat of violent storms later in the day, and even with that they only got in about an hour of playing--which ended up only being an inning and a third because they could not get an out.  That was another 20-run loss that the rain mercifully ended quickly.  The cancellation was swift so we were out of there just as the rain started.  Jacob and I drove home separate from Craig and Carter (as Craig had just come back into town from a work thing), and while we drove out of the rain en route (while it was still pouring on them back at the field), it was SO dark when we got home, and boy, did it rain.  Parts of the area got six inches of rain that day.  We likely had closer to three, but it was plenty--in fact enough to cancel the rest of that day and the entire last day of the tournament.  It wouldn't have been a pretty rest of the weekend anyway, but it was a bummer to lose most of the only real tournament we had this summer.  

The next night was Carter's playoff game in their summer league.  It was either going to be the last game of the season (if they lost) or the last good game (since they'd play a team that beat them pretty soundly all season), so we had invited all of the grandparents, particularly because it was a gorgeous day.  Turned out to be the perfect game for them to be at, because Carter got HIS FIRST HOME RUN!  

It was SO cool to see him do that, especially with all he's been through in the past year.  Everyone was thrilled for him--I particularly liked how his teammates met him at home plate, and the comment in the video from his coach was funny--although he was hitting some pretty far this year, just not quite out (although we suspect one at a diamond with further fences might have been out at home).  Sadly, they lost that game and the season ended on a tough note.  There ended up being some weird coach drama after the fact, and it sounds like part of the team is going to get together a bit this summer and aim for forming a new team for next year, but we'll see how that goes.  Regardless, fall ball is coming in about six weeks.  

Proud grandparents!

I feel like the rest of what we've been dealing with all week has to wait for another post, but it has to deal with finally settling on a vacation and figuring out Jacob's next steps.  In the meantime, Jacob and I put together a puzzle he got for his birthday last year that we starting putting together and then quit.  But this time we rocked it! 
 

Craig's week was busy with the Knighthawks launching their rebrand--same logo, but back to their old purple and teal.  I had my physical last week and am still dealing with a lot of annoying stuff--weight gain, PT for my tennis elbow (which seems to have turned a corner), shoulder impingement, and a weird leg thing.  My blood work looked great, actually, and I did some follow-up testing for autoimmune diseases, but all was negative.  Good news, of course, but no answers on why my body is annoying these days.  My doctor wants me to do a sleep study since I still have numbness in my hands and am probably more tired in the morning than I should be.  I'm tempted to go back to the spine doctor to see if there's something pinching something somewhere.  I'm also still dealing with the executive dysfunction issues, but my therapist is still out on medical leave and my old therapist isn't a ton of help in that area.  My work focus has been a little better because I've had some good projects to do, but I still feel really scattered most of the time.  My attention span is short for anything other than my phone, I get distracted easily, I struggle to put down the phone and do much of anything, I'm overwhelmed by planning--especially dinner, which--SURPRISE--I need to cook nightly and always forget that until about 4pm.  I know it's probably hormonal, but it's making life with two ADHD kids extra challenging, since I'm not functioning much better than them some days, but don't have the luxury of not caring since I'm the mom.  I'm still generally fine but obviously a bit frustrated, especially given all that's going on right now.

As such, my next post is going to be a lot because there's been a lot happening in the background over the past week or two.  At this point I think I need to lay it all out here just so I can process it a bit more, as is often my M.O. in situations like this.  More soon... 

Pitt Stop

A couple weekends ago we went back to Pittsburgh.  We wanted to get to a Pirates game, since Craig and Carter didn't get to go to the one Jacob and I went to a couple months earlier.  And in the midst of all of the back-and-forth with the change of plans with Jacob's schooling, Craig felt like it would be a good mental break and reset before making a final decision.  We ended up taking Craig's dad with us, too, but his mom had to stay home to be with their dog, who was a bit under the weather.  It worked out, though, since we only have five seats in Craig's new vehicle--though it meant I'd be squished between the boys in the back.  It was doable, though.

The weather was looking pretty sketchy, but it seemed to be trending in a better direction so we went ahead and got Saturday tickets, figuring that if it got really bad, we'd always have Sunday as a backup.  

It was raining pretty good already when we got there, but we had faith that the grounds crew would do a good job keeping the field playable.  We made it in time to stop at Condado Taco, Jacob's new favorite go-to between Pittsburgh and now Kentucky.  Craig snapped this picture across the table while we waited for our food.

 
It was delicious as usual and gave all of us--but especially Jacob--a good base ahead of the game.  The rain was letting up a bit by the time we went back across the river to the North Shore to park.  We got into the park and got our World Cup-honoring giveaway, a Pirates soccer jersey.  Our first stop was the store, as Carter and I both needed hats.  I had put it off long enough, and it was time to get one.  I tried to get one cheap (because I don't care) from one of the vendors outside, but Jacob vetoed that.  In the store, I finally narrowed it down to two--one classic but cute one, and another that uses a new City Connect logo that had some sparkle to it.  While I loved the City Connect one, the classic one better matched anything I'd normally wear to the games (the yellow is more of a goldenrod than the usual yellow), so I went with that.  We headed out into the stadium, and while we got our bearings, I snapped a couple pics.  First a beauty shot... 

...and then the boys + 1!

We were sitting in the same bleachers where Jacob and I sat in the spring.  Quite the crew!

I was hell-bent on seeing the Pierogy Race this time because we missed it while we were at the concession stand last time.  We had a good view of them getting ready to start.

It felt a lot like the spring game, except it was a bit warmer this time.  Just like that one, it clouded over and stayed a bit cooler than expected.  And then I started noticing that Mt. Washington in the distance was looking a little hazy, which usually means that rain is coming.  Sure enough, the skies opened.  It was raining pretty good, but oddly they were able to keep playing through it.  I guess the drops were small enough to not be intolerable, but there were a lot of them!

We spent much of the game watching from the patio, just under the seating above us.  Jacob and I had run off to the concession stands sooner than the rest of our crew, so we didn't get too wet.  I wore my water-friendly sandals and came prepared with my poncho.

This season in MLB there's been a trend to have an entire section of shirtless fans, referred to as "Tarps Off".  Despite the rain, the tarps were off at this game, and it looked pretty funny!

The other three of our group got a bit more damp remaining in the seats for longer, but considering it rained most of the rest of the game, it wasn't as bad as it could have been.  Unfortunately, the Pirates had a breakdown near the end of the game, giving up a three-run homer (and the lead) with two outs in the top of the 9th, and lost.  That was a bummer, especially considering the rain made the game a little less enjoyable despite the high-scoring affair.

We figured out that Craig's dad was going to have a hard time making it back to the car as we had walked a lot already and he'd had a couple beverages on top of that, so Jacob and I walked to get the car and had to make our way out of the garage and work around stadium traffic and crowds to pick the rest of the group up.  I took this picture from the parking ramp.  UPMC was in the clouds!

We made our way to the hotel about 20 minutes outside the city.  Craig's dad headed right to his room, and we ventured back out to get a late dinner.  We found a nearby Five Guys and inhaled our food to get out of there before they closed for the night.

We were staying at a Holiday Inn Express (the same one we stayed at a couple years ago, in fact), and I was all excited for my cinnamon rolls, but sadly by the time we got down to breakfast on Sunday, there weren't any rolls out.  But as has been happening lately, Jacob pretty much refuses to eat anywhere he can't see reviews on, so he wasn't eating there anyway.  We found a place close by with good gluten-free reviews, and headed there for breakfast.  It was clearly a very popular brunch restaurant called First Watch, and we had about a half hour wait just to get a table.  The food ended up being fantastic--I had a breakfast sandwich with hot honey and amazing bacon, Jacob had a frittata, and Carter had this massive sausage hash skillet, which he pretty much devoured.  We all had great meals, and since we were all wearing Pirates gear, we struck up a couple interactions with other patrons hoping the Pirates could win that day.  We had been debating going to the Sunday game, especially after the bad weather, and at the last minute (with assurances beer consumption would be at a minimum because of our long drive and my inability to drive since no one else could fit in the back seat), we decided to go.

While it had rained overnight and was a damp morning, the weather on the way in was much better!

We parked in the same ramp Jacob and I had parked in, although we ended up in a different section, and walked across the Clemente Bridge.  We figured it might be a slightly shorter walk than what we had attempted the prior day, even if just because we were sitting closer to that side of the stadium.

It was quite a bit warmer for this game.  It didn't really start out that way--it was humid but in the 70s, but whenever the sun came out for any extended period of time, it got hotter and hotter.  The temperature pretty much spiked to the upper 80s by early in the game, and it was a rough one to sit through.  I found myself wishing for the clouds we'd had the prior two games, but every time it seemed like one was coming, it would shift or dissolve before it covered the sun.

We were a few sections over from the previous day, and these were our views.
 

At least we could see some of the skyline this time!

It also happened to be our 23rd anniversary that day, so we had to take a selfie!

Not exactly the same type of day as 23 years earlier, but a good one nonetheless.

This game had us out of our seats much like the previous day, but for the opposite reason.  The sun was just too hot to sit in.  My shorts were soaked when I finally got up to walk.  I snapped a picture of this cool artwork in the concourse on my way back from the bathroom.  It represented a pitcher who in 1959 had a perfect game through 12 innings and still managed to lose.  Behind him are game stats.  It just struck me as a cool painting.

Eventually the clouds starting moving in again, which helped the heat but also meant rain was coming.  While we could be back in our seats, I took this shot of the one gorgeous church on Mt. Washington.  It's not well-centered because my camera screen was malfunctioning when I turned it on its side, so I could never see the view before I snapped.  But this was good enough to capture how pretty it is.

Ironically, later that week a bunch of photos and stories popped up online about a church fire on Mt. Washington that was visible from the stadium.  Immmediately I was worried and my thoughts went to this photo, but thankfully, the fire was actually in an abandoned church a few buildings down the street from this one.  That one couldn't be seen from where we were sitting that game, but I did find a picture of it from a past game.  Not quite as gorgeous as this beautiful Catholic church, but still sad that it was destroyed.

This was another crazy game.  At one point the Pirates had the bases loaded and I caught this whole crew chatting at 3rd base.

One of the subplots of the weekend was that Jacob was obsessed with the game-used batting helmets in the authentic store.  He would not stop talking about it all weekend, and had actually started talking about it when he and I went to the game in the spring.  I kept saying no, but eventually the boys hatched a plan to split it, and at that point, I mean...it was their money, right?  

Jacob modeling their purchase

As the game went on, the sky got cloudier and then darker.

When it finally hit, the rain came fast and furious this time.  None of the small drop stuff from the day before--this was big drops and a lot of them.  That led to an hour-long rain delay, which of course was the last thing we needed on a day when we were driving home.  We hung out in the concourse and then later in the high seats undercover since enough people left (although we questioned why they'd want to walk in the rain to their cars rather than stay dry at the stadium).  I eventually walked up and down the nearby helix just to kill time, and I grabbed a couple pretty pictures.  

When we were finally back sitting in anticipation of the end of the rain delay, Carter decided to eat his giveaway that day--all the kids got an Eat'n Park smile cookie.

When the grounds crew came out, the remaining crowd roared, but boy did they have a job on their hands.  In this picture, the guys on the left are brushing the water that came off the tarp through the outfield (presumably toward a drain) and the guys on the right are using leaf blowers to evaporate more water.  You can see the wave of water the brushers were kicking up.  It was crazy.

How they ever got the field playable, I'll never know--although I did see one played run through there and splash up quite a bit.  Yuck!

Fortunately, the Pirates had a huge inning after the game restarted, and eventually won 9-4.  That was a really nice outcome after the tough loss the prior day (and a tough series in general).

The Pirate Parrot raises the Jolly Roger!

Just as the game ended, the rain made a comeback, so we spent some time in the store trying to wait it out again.  It was much better when we came out.  This was a cool looking vehicle outside the store.

The rain had been a pain once again, but I did get this sort of pretty picture out of the deal.

We took a very slow walk over the bridge and finally made it back to the car, only to sit in traffic forever.  I don't think the ramp was quite that slow the last time, but oh well.  On our way out of town we stopped at Mandy's Pizza, the same hole-in-the-wall pizza joint Jacob and I ate at back in April.  The food was once again delicious.  We hopped back in the car and started the long drive home.  We did get some interesting views as the sun set among all the clouds and rain.  This one is hard to see, but the sun was shining through a literal hole in the cloud.

We had a bathroom break or two, dropped Craig's dad off, and finally had a chance to switch drivers for the last leg home.  We once again got home well after midnight.  It was worth it, but boy, were we ever tired!  I probably forgot a couple details from the weekend because it's been so long, but those were the highlights.

So, it was mostly a successful weekend despite all the rain, but the one exception was that Jacob had gotten a message from his school coach outlining their training plan for the summer.  He was pretty upset because it involved six days a week of lifting and a bunch of other stuff that he knew his body would never hold up for.  He was really discouraged, and of course he couldn't stop talking about it and worrying about it.  That led into a whole big shift, which I think I'll save for my next post.  Never, ever, ever a dull moment here...

Post 4th Photo Rewind

Yesterday was the USA's 250th birthday.  It should have been festive and fun like the bicentennial, but instead it felt a bit like a big dud.  The country feels so divided, with at least half (if not more) feeling abandoned and betrayed by an administration that's doing whatever it feels like doing, and definitely not doing so much of what the entire platform was about before.  It's exhausting for those of us who saw some version of this coming, although I'm not sure anyone really expected things to get this weird.  But here we are.  For an event that was originally being planned out for years and then got taken over by the current administration with a sparsely attended "state fair" on the National Mall, it just feels as botched as everything else.  So many of us want to be patriotic, dammit, but it's hard to feel pride in your country when so many people are struggling.  There was a picture that rose to prominence today, of a black woman sitting on public transportation in DC while a group of masked white nationalists headed to where they were marching.  If that doesn't capture how messed up things feel right now, I'm not sure anything does.  Our day was pretty low-key--it rained really hard in the afternoon and slowly improved over the course of the day, but it was so incredibly humid, which just made all the firework smoke hang there forever.

We had a very hot week, much of it with the heat index around 100 (and as high as like, 107).  It made the pool completely lovely, although Jacob got absolutely eaten up by mosquitos when we tried a night swim the other night.  Friday was great until this weird front came through with dark clouds and crazy wind for about five minutes.  Somehow the rain behind it completely missed us, but it was enough to chase me out of the pool...boo.  I've mostly been in to clean it, but at least it's nice.

Anyway, it's been a couple busy and exhausting weeks, in part because of my year-end at work, in part because Jacob has had another change of heart regarding school, and adjusting to summer break is always a little challenging.  Before I get into any of that, I figured I should go back and catch up on some pictures I never got to post.  

This was from Carter's game a few weeks ago.  The day had been nice and warm, but very windy, and by the end of the game it was so cold!  But then, at the end of the night, we got this:   

That weekend was Jacob's birthday.  It was pretty low-key as he didn't ever get us a list (and we sort of joked that prep school might be enough of a gift--though we did order him some things later), and he also had things going on each morning that prevented me from making birthday cinnamon rolls or anything like that.  But on his birthday we did go to Buffalo for a pre-Father's Day visit with Craig's parents.  We got him a gluten-free ice cream cake so we could sing to him.

The next day--on Father's Day--my parents came in to watch Carter play baseball, and then they stayed for lunch and cake.  Carter's team didn't do very well, but he did get a great hit.  And while the cake wasn't fancy and decorated like usual (as this whole thing was planned pretty last minute), it was delicious!

One day early that week, I had a work thing where we got out a bit early.  I had some time to kill before going to grab Jacob for something, and it was an absolutely gorgeous day, so it occurred to me that it could still be peak rose season at the Maplewood Rose Garden.  I knew it might be a little late for true peak, and we'd just had torrential rains a day or so before, but I figured it was worth a shot.  And while they were definitely past peak, there was still a lot of beauty. 

Caught this bee right off the bat

This color was so lovely!

I loved how this one was pink on the front and edges, and white on the back of the petals.

Another bee butt!

A ladybug!

In most cases I had to hunt for these, so you can imagine how amazing it is during peak!  I'm always a little hesitant to go there because it's in the city, but it was midday on a weekday.  I did actually get catcalled a bit by a worker, so that wasn't great, but I felt safe enough and was glad I went.

That Wednesday was Carter's last day of school.  He was supposed to go to Seabreeze that Monday, but the torrential rain canceled that.  He had one normal day and then his final half day.  The difference between his starting picture and ending picture are pretty crazy.  But about 4 inches and 40 pounds will do that.  He even wore the same outfit (not on purpose) and you can see how much differently the shirt fits him.

Remember that last color gazania I said I needed to take a picture of?  This is it!
  

I came to the official realization tonight that Carter and I won't be able to pull off going to Jacob's tournament near Atlanta.  That means Craig is going to have to drive the whole thing himself, which I hate.  Because Jacob hasn't been sure he was going--partly because of his foot with the glass and partly because all of his other anxiety-related excuses--they didn't buy the cheap flights a few weeks ago, and now they're expensive.  Jacob also turned 18 without a photo ID (don't even get me started), so it's not a sure thing that he could have flown anyway.  We also weren't sure when we were going to have to leave, and we inadvertently ended up with a lot of stuff scheduled during that time--Carter's next infusion (which really can't be pushed), his dentist appointment (which is super hard to reschedule due to staffing issues), a few baseball games, and the start of his colonoscopy prep on the day we'd be coming back.  We might have been able to push it back a couple hours and make it work, but knowing how we travel, things always go longer and any delays would have been impossible.  It's a bummer to not be able to go, for a few reasons, but we'll just have to make the best of it here.

As for Jacob's school situation, he is not going to prep school after all.  He got the training plan last weekend and came to the realization there's no way his body will survive that.  We talked to the coach and there wasn't really any wiggle room, so it's simply not going to work.  It's a bummer, but maybe mostly because we now need to figure out something else, and there are zero good options.  He absolutely does not want to go back to BK, and is refusing to play basketball there.  Buffalo came back up, but that would take so much to make that work.  We're also back to the Pittsford idea, but there's (at least) one huge thing causing an issue with that, so I don't know if that can work either.  We're at a loss and it absolutely sucks.  So that will be something that needs to be figured out ASAP once they're back.  

Anyway, we did have a little diversion last weekend.  Craig felt it might be an important reset for Jacob, and it was a good weekend, but unfortunately, the only clarity we got on his school issue was negative.  Sigh.  More on that soon...