Yesterday I happened two catch two of my all-time favorite movies on TV. I only caught the end of the first one, actually, and then pieced together a viewing of the second through live watching and the DVR, but they were no less enjoyable. The movies? Three Men and a Baby and Three Men and a Little Lady. I adore them. They are a perfect 1980s throwback to the family-ish comedy, a time when not everything had to be vulgar or full of sexual innuendos just to attract adult viewers. I actually just had a memory pop up on Facebook in the past couple weeks about when I happened to catch these same movies another time, and remarked how they just don't make them like that anymore. Same for classic romantic comedies that seemed to trail off by somewhere in the mid-to-late 90s, stuff like Sleepless in Seattle or You've Got Mail or anything else that had little-to-no swearing, sex, or violence, and you didn't cringe if your kid happened to walk in room while watching it. Call me old-fashioned, but I really miss that genre. A lot. Not just because that's totally my jam, but because I now have kids that walk into the room and soak up every bit of what they see on TV.
A lot of people talk about how one of the foundations of a strong family is nightly family dinner time. I agree that time like that is important, but lately I've been realizing that there's something else missing that was there when I was a kid, and the movies yesterday reminded me of it yet again. I propose that another chink in the armor of the American family is the loss of the family sitcom. When I was a kid, we'd eat dinner, I'd do some homework, and many nights my goal was to make it back downstairs by 8pm for an hour of sitcoms that the family would often watch together. The Cosby Show, Family Ties, Facts of Life, The Golden Girls, Home Improvement, Growing Pains, even some of the TGIF lineup--though for the most part I think I was relegated to a different TV for that night. But I know for a fact that there were shows we watched together, and while it was still time in front of a screen, back then we had time to talk during commercials so between discussing the show and anything that came up during breaks, inevitably there was some quality family bonding time. And as I got older, that extended into the 9 o'clock hour with shows like Cheers and Night Court (and a few hours after I first typed this, I find out Harry Anderson from Night Court died today :( ), among others. Those were clearly a bit more adult, but either it was written to go over my head or it didn't seem to bother me by that point. But even still--for the most part things were pretty tame and I wouldn't hesitate to let my kids watch most of that with me now. And the further back you go into history, the clearer it is that family TV time was important. The Brady Bunch or Gilligan's Island, anyone?
Nowadays, most sitcoms aren't particularly kid-friendly. Of the ones we watch, I think the only one I'd be OK with Jacob watching is Young Sheldon. Maybe Speechless. Of course, Jacob barely watches TV anyway. He likes Dude Perfect, which is more of a reality show, but it's not bad for him since it's sports-oriented. But most kids would rather go off on their electronic devices, or if the kids like TV, there are so many kids shows now that they have plenty of options to watch themselves at all times...multiple networks, in fact. Also, DVRs make it easier to skip watching the shows until the kids are in bed anyway. I'm sure the playtime gained from delayed viewing can be valuable in its own way, but it probably goes the electronic route more than I'd like.
As a side note, I appreciate that kids movies have become a bit more adult-friendly with little jokes that go over kids' heads and keep the adults paying attention, but both on TV and in the movies, I think that the division between kids and adults has gotten wider. I honestly think a lot of kids' content talks down to them and insults their intelligence, or maybe just doesn't challenge them or teach them those valuable life lessons we parents like to see crop up. And because so much adult content is too adult, it leaves a no-man's land for kids like Jacob. You have things like Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Captain Underpants that correspond to things they may be reading, but even some of that stuff misses the mark on value. Most tweens would probably rather move up a notch to their parents' programming anyway, and where that was once sort of doable, now it's a minefield of swear words, sex, and more.
People always laugh about the "very special episode" of various 80s sitcoms, but let's face it--when a show talked about drugs or teen pregnancy or periods or something else that we don't rush to discuss in normal life, it definitely provided an approachable way to tackle tough subjects. And back then you could trust that the topic would be handled delicately so it didn't run the risk of glorifying it or getting too graphic. I still remember the pot and premarital sex episodes of Facts of Life, the teenage drinking and first period episodes of The Cosby Show, and even when they killed off the mom on The Hogan Family when the actress left. Oh, and remember the "dope" episode of Saved by the Bell? They all had a gentleness in how they handled delicate topics, and now it seems laughable how most of the topics were deemed controversial at the time. Heck, I never watched it, but remember the controversy when Murphy Brown had a baby out of wedlock or the lesbian kiss happened on Roseanne? Now there are entire shows based on those premises! While the simplicity of old shows probably wouldn't hold up in our worldly modern society, there is something sweet and innocent about how they handled those problems and I wish it could be that simple again.
Now it seems that the more extreme it is, the better. Perhaps with so much "reality" TV we're more sensitive to stuff that's fake (ha, that's still a pretty ironic statement), and today's news seems so much darker, so happy-ending sitcoms probably seem even more trite. So instead we rely on low-brow humor to keep us laughing. Even the most tame sitcoms can have sexual innuendos or jokes about drug use. In addition, it's hard to find a non-animated movie that's PG, and even those tend to push the envelope a bit. I know it's up to parents to discuss those things with their kids and that's fine, but with a kid like Jacob who internalizes everything, or a kid like Carter who will say anything just to get a laugh, it can be a risk. I never would have repeated a swear word in front of my parents, but I am sure there are things I was bothered by but didn't have the guts to talk out. And now with things being even more extreme, I worry what Jacob might fixate on or what Carter might repeat.
But ultimately I feel like it's a bit of a lost opportunity for adults and kids to create a lasting bond over entertainment that resonates with them both. It seems like almost everything is specifically geared toward one group or another, so those connections aren't quite as natural as they used to be. There was nothing quite like knowing that the whole family would gather at 8pm to watch a show together, and I guess it's just a bit of a lost art these days.
We still do dinner, though, so maybe we'll be okay.
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