Patience, Tolerance, and Greener Pastures

I've said before here that Jacob is really a "grass is always greener" person.  He is constantly looking ahead to another team, another school, another scenario that he thinks will be better and eliminate some of the issues he's having in his current situation.  When he's having a tough time, his brain instantly jumps to the next thing that could solve his problem, and he's sure that's the solution.  On one hand it's not a terrible skill to have--to quickly problem solve and look for an efficient, effective solution.  But I can also see it having a lot of terrible consequences as he gets older.  I can see that creating a job hopper, or someone who can't stay in relationships, romantic or otherwise, because the second they see an issue, they cut and run in search of something better.  

I think tendencies like this have been deemed a very millennial issue, and it seems to have passed to Gen Z as well.  To some degree, I get it.  If you're unhappy, why wallow in that if you can fix it?  Older generations have had loyalties, nostalgia, and responsibility preached to them their entire lives, but younger generations are part of a lifestyle where "disposable" and "on demand" are the norms with almost everything, and they tend to have short attention spans on top of it, thanks to all things digital their entire lives.  They haven't cultivated the same type of patience we had to have back in the day when film took days to develop, most TV was "appointment" viewing, and finding out information often necessitated a trip to the library to look it up rather than instantly getting the answer on your phone.  Now we do everything quickly and painlessly, and that seems to be the goal for kids like Jacob--how can I minimize my misery in the short term?  Of course, kids have never been particularly good with thinking things through and focusing on the long-term, but their modern ability to do more things immediately means they don't need to practice that skill very often.

I mentioned here in one of my last few posts that Jacob has said he doesn't need to create a tolerance for things like a bad job because he's purposefully setting up his life to never have to deal with those sorts of things.  In true teenager form, he's ignoring the fact that life often takes its own twists and turns that we can't control, even though he's already dealt with a number of those things in his life, from his bone cyst to his Celiac Disease.  And now he's dealing with a bum leg and some school frustrations and...well, it's not going well.

I feel for him with this leg thing.  All through his high school season, particularly once he lost his starting spot and things weren't going as smoothly, all he could talk about was how he wanted to play for the team he's on now.  He got in one game before he sprained his ankle and the other four afterward were not great, mostly because of that ankle (which turned out to be a broken leg bone).  Almost half of his team is injured, he's out for another month, and nothing is going quite like he imagined.  I don't blame him for being frustrated, even if he's doing what he can right now to minimize the fallout and improve what he can while he has a chance.  Even he admitted he probably needed a break.  Mentally he'd been struggling, so this provides a good opportunity for a reset, but there's no denying that the whole situation is really unfortunate.

On top of his leg, school has become a major sore spot.  He can't seem to catch up in his classes.  His grades aren't terrible, but they're not where they should be.  He missed a lot of time due to COVID and other viruses over the past few months, and then a bit more for our travel, and on top of a less-than-stellar math teacher, it's been a lot to come back from.  He just can't seem to get back over the hump.  Some of that is time management and some of it is just straight-up procrastination over something he doesn't want to do because it's frustrating.  He's never really adjusted to having all of his subjects every day.  His last school had a split schedule, more like college, so he had each class for a longer block 2-3 times per week.  That meant homework was more spread out, and he also had more in-school study time to do it.  Now he has a full eight periods every day and he struggles to manage the homework load.  There are a couple classes he particularly dislikes (math and art appreciation), which reduces his motivation further.  He also has to dedicate time to basketball and also wants some leisure time, so it's a lot to cram in.  I get it, it's hard, but it doesn't mean he gets a free pass to not finish things.  I don't know what he thinks the alternative is, but certainly skipping school or not finishing homework are not among the options.

He gets frustrated by the vicious cycle--wake up early (begrudgingly), go to school, come home, do work, do basketball/training, do more work, go to bed too late, and wake up in the morning miserable again because you didn't sleep enough.  Doing that on repeat has him very frustrated, especially when he doesn't have the same sort of physical outlet he once did.  He's also short on friends at his current school.  I wish he'd reconnect more with his old friends, at least--phones are good for that--but he's right that he doesn't have a lot of time to do that anyway.  In many ways he's gotten into the same crappy cycle Craig and I have since we don't have a lot of outside friends either (or the time or energy to do better in that department).  I know first-hand that it sort of stinks and isn't particularly healthy to have school/work and home time be all you have going on.  School is usually tolerable because at least you see your friends, but when you don't even really get that out of the deal, I can see where it would be hard to deal with every day.  He's also a little nervous that the immature kids at school will somehow hurt his leg worse--it's nearly happened a couple times--so that anxiety is bugging him, too.  No one would believe him initially when he said his leg was broken, so it almost wouldn't surprise me if someone did something stupid to "prove" something.  At least he's out of gym class, but it sounds like his classmates are just thoughtless enough to do something that could injure him worse.  Part of me thinks his worries are merely an excuse to try to convince us to keep him home, but from things we've heard it's probably not entirely unreasonable to assume something could happen. 

He asks all the time if he can stay home, and obviously legally that's not even an option. One kid that was on his basketball team has some sort of hybrid/homeschool setup.  Jacob says he Zooms into classes, but I suspect there's more to it than that--that he's actually getting more homeschooling from his parents than we know about, and that he probably has a medically documented condition that forces them to accommodate him in that way.  It's not an option for Jacob, no matter how much he begs.  He only has five more weeks plus exams to get through, so it's really not that much to ask him to just suck it up at this point.  Craig and I have both talked about times in our life where we were getting mercilessly bullied at school and still had to go to school every day, so we know it's hard, but it's just one of those things you have to do.  It's life.  It's not easy, but that's how it goes sometimes.  Going to work is much the same.  Yes, we get paid, but we also paid our dues by going to school like him, taking the same full load of classes, and hating it most of the time, and that's what you have to do to get to the point in life where you at least get paid to go somewhere each day, even if you don't love it.  And honestly, even if you don't hate your job, most of the time you'd still rather be doing something more interesting and fulfilling with your time.  Might as well get used to that reality now and hope you don't need it later.

As a side note, we have talked about whether he should transfer (again) given his apparent misery at school, and he's hesitant for a few reasons, most of which include the basketball situation.  Our local high school (which he could transfer to without having to sit out a year) isn't great, and their basketball team is worse.  Another in-district high school that's a little more respected has a much better basketball team, but he might not play very much as a result.  So neither of those are good options.  We could move to a different district, but that's obviously a bit of overkill to make a kid happy, even if it's something we've considered for other reasons over the years.  But realistically most schools come with the same set of annoying kids and their own set of other frustrations.  But then all of a sudden in the last couple days a new wrinkle got added to that situation--I won't go into detail yet but there was something we didn't realize could be an option and it could come with a pretty intriguing basketball situation.  There are some downsides there, too, and a couple other things would have to fall into place for that to even be an option.  But I just know that's started the wheels turning in his head again where that might be his next "greener pasture".

Another complaint he's had recently is that there's nothing interesting going on to break him out of this boring daily cycle.  Yes, a couple canceled trips and a lot of uncertainty with his leg have a way of doing that.  I feel it too.  Like I said previously, having all of that travel was exhausting, but it also kept life interesting.  Now we're just...done.  For a bit, anyway.  We were supposed to be flying to Wichita (well, flying to Kansas City and driving to Wichita) this weekend, which didn't thrill me but was at least intriguing, so it's still a letdown, for sure.  I'm also realizing how many things I was mentally (or physically) putting off until after the travel and my busy work season were done, and now I'm having to pay the piper a bit and start digging back into those things, which makes being home without adventure even harder.  I think Jacob is sort of having to face that too with his school work, and maybe to some degree with training.  I'd love to try to think of some things to keep us busy until our potential St. Louis trip in May, in case it helps us mentally to have things to look forward to.  Some of it depends on how the Knighthawks' playoff scenarios work out.  If they're in Buffalo or Hamilton next weekend we might follow Craig there.  Going to St. Louis in three weeks would be an "extra" because Jacob will likely not be playing yet when that trip happens.  But as long as Craig is available to go, we're planning to go anyway.  Not only might it help Jacob get back in the groove with his team, but we have a few tourist targets en route and once we're there.  It gives us something to look forward to, but hopefully it doesn't end up being a letdown.

Jacob has also started talking about vacation again.  Given all the expense of his basketball I'm not sure what we can pull off, though I do want to do something this summer because I'm trying to make the most of our summers post-COVID.  He keeps talking about Disney (again...ugh), but not so much the parks...he'd rather sit at the resort.  He wants a basketball court and a gym, and probably a pool.  Disney is an awfully expensive place to do that, so we'll have to see what else we can find that seems vaguely tropical but can be done cheaply (and maybe with some other stuff for Carter and me, who like to DO things).  But let's get through the spring and the rest of basketball first, even though any talk about it now is probably going to help him mentally with the "nothing to look forward to" problem.

Anyway, the goal right now seems to be to teach him how to function and even thrive in the "less green pastures".  It's fine to express a frustration with life or circumstances; it's another to be defeated by it when you have more power than you think to tolerate it or make it better.  I've never seen a kid with so much drive in one part of his life fail so badly at little things he should be able to overcome, like a single math worksheet or just dragging himself out of bed on time on a daily basis.  I know there could be some sort of depression in the mix and we've offered to get him help if that's the case, but it's clearly something he needs to want before he will allow it to happen.  Taking a nearly-15-year-old kicking and screaming isn't really an option.  It's a tough time right now with his leg and school, but his lack of executive function--primarily a complete inability to manage his time--isn't making it any easier.  The lack of sleep and the stress of undone schoolwork can't be healthy for him, and he refuses to listen to us when we try to help him.  Teenagers are so hard because they think the people with all the life experience still know nothing, and they trust their own underdeveloped brain to make better choices than we're coaching them to.  It's hard to walk him through this tough time, but I do hope we can show him we're making an effort to make it more interesting.  I just hope he can make an effort to listen, learn, and have some patience with the process.  Wish us luck...we need it.

Back in a Better Groove

It's been an interesting couple weeks trying to get back to normal life.  Things are feeling a little more normal, but I have flashes of feeling overwhelmed or out of my element even two weeks later.  Sometimes the whole midwest thing seems like a dream, like a big blur of otherworldly happenings that I still can't quite believe was my life for a couple weeks.  I really drove 15-1/2 hours from Missouri?  I was IN Missouri?  When I talk about Oklahoma City like it's this normal, matter-of-fact thing--I mean, we did live there for about four full days--I feel like that sounds crazy because almost no one here has ever been there.  But it happened, even if it wasn't quite ideal or even if the aftermath isn't happening quite like we expected.  We were supposed to be in Massachusetts this weekend and Wichita next weekend, and it turns out none of Jacob's team is going to either one.  Massachusetts was canceled after the Oklahoma City weekend, because it was clear the boys were struggling and needed a break, and while we knew we weren't going to Wichita shortly thereafter, the rest of the team got pulled after more guys went down with injuries in the week after we got back.  There's a case of severe shin splits, two badly sprained ankles, plus Jacob's break, all among key players, so they'd have barely been able to field a team as it was, let alone at a really competitive tournament when they already weren't winning.  I'm honestly SO relieved that we're not going to either place.  The money savings is nice (although our flights will sit as a credit for now), but I truly couldn't fathom on Friday how I would have felt getting up, driving five hours, staying two more hotel nights, and driving back five hours on Sunday, working four days and then leaving again Friday morning and doing it all over again, only by plane.  I can only assume God knew what he was doing because I needed these weekends off so badly.  Last weekend--helpful though it was--was not enough.  So, now the focus is St. Louis in May, and it sounds like we're going to make a heck of an effort to go even if Jacob isn't back yet, just because we all have sightseeing to do--Jacob's target is en route in Indianapolis, and Carter and I have a list in St. Louis itself.  The Knighthawks officially made the playoffs now, so we'll see if that ruins any plans or leaves it all to me again.

We got back from Oklahoma City just in time for spring to arrive for a week, which was helpful since we were coming from an advanced state of spring and coming back to cold crap would have been extra hard.  My hyacinth (I received it as a gift last year and planted the bulbs in the fall) bloomed around the second day of warm weather.  Too bad it didn't stick around very long.

We tried to make the most of the weather by hitting up our first playground.  We went to the Pinebrook Elementary School playground, which we pass all the time but strangely hadn't been to in years.  I remember taking Carter years ago when we dropped Jacob off at his lacrosse training camp for the weekend, so clearly it's been a while.  I can tell we're getting closer to the end of this phase because they have to be a bit more advanced for him to play more than a few minutes, unless he finds someone to take him up on playing tag.  We still had fun, though.  They have a "log roll", which isn't functioning nearly as smoothly as it was the last time we were there and I almost killed myself on it.  He ran himself through a few "obstacle courses" on the main equipment while I timed him, and we played on the bongos and maracas on a music-themed set, then swung for a bit.  Silly kid trapped himself behind this steering wheel on the little kid/accessible equipment...

...and then he beat me in a Connect Four-style game...

I've never seen this one before--you slide the discs up the track into your chosen spot.  Pretty cool.

Weekends since I've been back have involved a lot of catch-up.  It's amazing how when you're gone for two weekends (and more), all the little things you would take care of build up.  Lots of picking up, cleaning up, de-Easter-ing, laundry, bedding changes, paperwork, and errands have filled my time.  I can't even count how many times I've been to Wegmans.  To make matters worse, I had to go to three places last weekend just to buy things for a work prize basket I had to put together.  We had our big Day of Giving on Wednesday, which meant a 14-hour work day (on top of other long days before and after) and building a "game basket" for our student callers to win.  This was the event that made me do a lot of work from the road, and I had so much prep to do when I got back, too.  The day finally came on Wednesday and culminated in this strange photo from our afternoon check-in.  

We managed to hit our goals, but not without a lot of drama and frustrations.  We ate well, at least, but it was a truly exhausting day.  My brain felt so full by the time we left around 9:45.  I could barely function by that point--multitasking was completely out of the question, let alone remembering which folder or file I needed to be in.  I think we're all eager to get past this part of the year because it tends to be rather dominating of our time and energy, so now that we're past the day at least (though not the analysis), we can hopefully get back to some other priorities that have been put off.  

Because we worked a long day on Wednesday (and Thursday had its fair share of difficult follow-up), we had Friday off.  It ended up being an exceptionally gorgeous day, so I tried to make the most of it.  I had to get up relatively early to get the boys off to school, but then I worked out, went to Kohl's (not much luck but I did get something online to use some Kohl's cash), then had my Day of Giving dinner leftovers for lunch before heading out to take the loveliest walk I could think of on such a gorgeous day--Highland Park.  After that week of warm weather after we got back from our trip, everything started blooming.  But then we had some cooler weather again which seemed to preserve most of it, and then Friday was gorgeous.  Saturday started warmish but ended up cooler, leading into another near-week of below average temps.  Hopefully spring sticks around a bit better after that because it's almost May (!).  

Anyway, Highland Park was beautiful.  I knew the lilacs wouldn't be out, but the flowering trees are probably my favorites anyway.  The pansy bed appeared to be ahead of schedule.  I almost never see it looking this good!

I loved the pale color of this one.  

This was a good time for daffodils as well.  I have many pictures of them from over the years, so I didn't take a lot, but I couldn't resist this one.  

The trees were gorgeous.  Around every corner was something like this:

There were at least two painters there painting scenes like that.  There's usually a lot of photographers there at this time of year taking family photos.  I couldn't bother to wait for everyone to move away from the spot where this tree hangs over the walkway perfectly, so I just captured the blue sky instead.

A few of the azaleas were out, and I tried to enjoy them knowing mine has likely succumbed to fungus and doesn't appear healthy enough to bloom this year.  I guess I will be fertilizing the heck out of it this year and seeing if I can bring it back from the almost-dead.

This is probably one of my favorite views in the whole park, with my beloved two-color tree (left side) and the far distant view.

Here's another example of why that tree is my favorite--two colors on one branch, and that white flower has streaks of pink.  It's amazing to see every year.

So many people were laying out or setting up their picnic blanket in this area.  That brighter bush in the foreground always stands out as well among all the pinks.

The orange flowers are so pretty.  My plant identifier says it is Japanese quince.  

Walking down toward the magnolias there were even more blooms to discover.

Magnolias remind me of my grandma because she used to have a tree in her yard.  These were pretty close to prefect even if some hadn't bloomed yet.  The ones that were open were pristine, with hardly any brown and very few dropping petals.  With all the wind we've had, I felt pretty lucky to have hit this sweet spot.

Pretty sure my grandma's were most like this, with pink on one side and white on the other.

Originally I wasn't sure I was going to go see the tulips as I figured they wouldn't be ready.  But as I drove into the park I saw this bed blooming and figured it might be worth stopping just for this shot.

Turned out there were a few others starting as well.

This bed was super short in height, but most of them were open. 

In the end it would have been a lovely day to walk around anywhere, but the park was a perfect spot to do it.  By the time I left a few clouds were starting to roll in and it was getting a little breezier, but thankfully the forecasted late afternoon rain held off until late evening.  I decided to use the rest of my afternoon to run to the Chili library and pick up two of the last three books in a series Carter and I have been reading on and off for a while.  It seems like most libraries have been purging the books lately (the series is older), so with only three left I did a panicked hold to get one from an east side library and then stopped at Chili to get the other two, just to secure them before everything disappeared completely.  I picked up a giant Slurpee along the way (vanilla and Coke, yum!), stopped to check the Aldi Aisle of Shame near the library, and then met Carter at home as he got off the bus.  I convinced him to come with me to our library to pick up that hold of the third book and then go a few more minutes up the road to one of our favorite playgrounds, Goodwin Park, which is right up by the lake and had that broken-bone-waiting-to-happen log climbing structure.

Carter is holding a rope, but they only protect you a little.  It is scary up there!

We were both trying to be extra careful climbing--soccer season is almost here and I cannot risk breaking anything, ever!  Carter did have fun running around with the other kids and I did some decent climbing myself.  I caught this fun picture of Carter through the "spider web".

Before we left we took a walk to the bridge over the little outlet that goes from Long Pond to Lake Ontario.  I love that little neighborhood and dream of what it would be like to live there and drive your boat or paddle a paddleboard through the water there.  It's so peaceful, even though we could see decent lake waves splashing against the breakwall down the way.

Looking back across at the playground

On Saturday Jacob had to work out with his trainer in Perinton.  It was only in the low 60s, had rained overnight, and it was getting a bit breezy, but we went to find a playground around the corner to kill the hour.  We ended up at the town playground, which wasn't half bad.  

He played for a little while, trying to do flips on the rings and playing tag with a littler kid, until they took each other out and the kid's mom swooped in.  The kid initially popping up and said he was okay, until his mom came over and he dropped again.  Oh well.  We took a little walk over to their amphitheater area (where Carter put on a quick show looking for the best mom ever...haha).  He picked me some dandelions as we walked up to catch a glimpse of the cool indoor splash park and waterslide in the community center.  It was quite a view up there.  You can't tell here, but off to the right there was a farm with a hillside full of sheep!

Carter and I went to the Knighthawks game on Saturday night.  It had been a while since I had been there.  They won, and I got to see a couple people from my sports era that I hadn't seen in a while.  One more home game before the playoffs, and the first round game should be relatively close, either Buffalo or Hamilton.  

Sunday was significantly lower key.  After not being able to go to church last week because of a water main break, Carter and I made it this week (Craig slept in and Jacob didn't get ready on time, as usual--and yes, it's infuriating), and Carter ended up staying after for a movie and playtime with the other 4th and 5th graders.  I went to Aldi and Wegmans in the meantime.  Jacob had a team lift at noon, we had a late lunch, and then everyone did their own thing for the afternoon before the boys went out to play basketball in the cool but sunny weather.  I did an easy dinner, and then it was on to the homework push and usual Sunday night dread.  I did install our new smoke detector and fix an item of clothing, which felt like extra victories.

I should also mention that it's been a mission of mine to work out more since I got back from all of our travel.  This week I worked out almost every day.  I'm really just trying to move as much as I can, trying to hold myself to a short bike ride, a sitcom-long elliptical, or one of my 20-30 minute weight training workouts.  If I can pull that off 4-5 times a week, that's not too bad.  It's nothing crazy, but it's more than I've been doing and I know my body needs it.  I came back from all that travel (and all that eating out--ugh) feeling terrible about myself.  I felt fat and lazy and like my clothes weren't fitting right.  Even if my workouts aren't making much of a difference, I still mentally feel better if I know I'm doing something.  I'm worried that this burst of energy and effort won't last, but I'm doing what I can while I can.  I do seem to be a bit cyclical, and usually I'll get a good couple weeks in before I get sick or something else gets in the way, like someone getting COVID and taking over my workout space in the basement.  I just need to ride this wave while it lasts, I guess, and hope the weather breaks if I need the outdoors to keep it going for some reason.  I desperately need better habits, so the longer I can keep this up, the better the chance I can make it feel normal.

I've decided that my new theme word is "inertia", which essentially means that an object in motion keeps going until an outside force is exerted on it.  I'm better off if I just keep moving and keep the momentum going, because the second I let myself sit, I definitely just come to a stop.  Most of the time over these past couple weeks, I have tried to push myself to finish all of my things before letting myself sit and rest.  Clean up that last thing, fold the laundry, clear that pile, get in that workout, and THEN you can sit on your phone and have a snack.  It takes willpower and whatever energy I can muster, but it does tend to make me more productive, reduce my screen time, and make me feel less guilty about the downtime I do have.  All of those things are good and much needed.  How long I can keep it going, I don't know, but it's been a pretty good start.  When I got home from all of our travel, I could feel myself putting off things like I do when I'm overwhelmed or have a little bout of depression, and pushing through has actually reduced my stress overall.  Again, I know this is probably cyclical, but hopefully I can keep it going.

Anyway, May is now only a week away.  Usually it's such a haul to get to this point, and here we are already.  Jacob has about six weeks of school left, soccer is starting soon, Darien Lake opens in less than a month, and we'll very quickly be getting into all of the year-end stuff--two concerts for Carter, plus a baseball game he'll be singing at, and hopefully the art show.  I don't quite know how we got here so fast...seems like it was just October.  And wasn't the new year just a few weeks ago?  Light speed right now, seriously.  We still have a few things to figure out heading into summer--Carter's summer program is shorter and less convenient, and I'd like to figure out a vacation we can afford.  I still feel like I need a full week off to get my life in order--sort through Carter's incoming and outgoing clothes, start shifting around more books and toys, get rid of a bunch of donations and Buy Nothing contributions--and even with my newfound determination I just don't have the bandwidth at the moment.  But hopefully one of these days those things will cycle through to the top of my priority list and I won't be able to ignore them anymore.  Life is a lot right now, even in this relative lull.  I'm trying to be grateful and find the beauty, but time is flying and sometimes it's a lot.  I know I said this a lot during the pandemic, but apparently we're still just going through one day at a time...or maybe one week at a time since they're going quite fast enough themselves...

Post-Travel Debriefing and a Tough Break

It blows my mind a bit just how out-of-the-ordinary these two weeks of travel were.  I was living somewhere other than my house for all but 2-1/2 days over an 11-day span.  We left first thing on Friday the 31st, returned Monday evening and had all day Tuesday and Wednesday at home, then left again first thing Thursday until about late afternoon on Monday.  It's weird to have done so little at my house over that span, whether it's cooking, cleaning, putting Carter to bed, or just sleeping in my own bed or showering in my own shower.  It's completely odd and a stark contrast to this time three years ago when I only left my house about once a week.  I'm not sure I could have ever envisioned a period that looked like this one.

I will say that the break from constant cleaning and cooking was probably good for my mental health, but coming back to the mess and meal planning again was less than awesome.  There were Jacob messes that he didn't have time to clean when we were home, Carter's ongoing disorganization, a sink full of dishes, crumbs on the table and counter, and the usual bathroom mess.  Ideally Craig would have gotten to it, but he was busy balancing single parenting and work, and honestly it's just not really a habit for him.  With most of a two-week span spent elsewhere and having those only two days at home be such a blur, the messes probably didn't jump out to me because I was so preoccupied.  But once I had to come back and live with them, ugh.  Lots of catching up to do.  And while I figured a break from cooking would leave me feel refreshed and ready to plan meals again, that didn't happen--I think I'm more out of that groove than ever at the moment.

As Jacob and I sat on the last plane on Monday we marveled at how long ago the Springfield trip seemed.  A week earlier we were on the last few hours of the drive home, but it felt like we had crammed SO much into that week-plus that it couldn't possibly have only been that long ago.  It's been such a time warp that I can barely process that we're halfway through April already.  When I got back to work this week, it felt like my April had barely even started, even though it was already a third of the way through the month.  Add in that we completely missed Easter, and I'll probably be mentally dealing with that weirdness for a while, just like when COVID prevented us from celebrating holidays in the way we were accustomed to.  I always felt like something was missing and I kept waiting for something that wasn't coming.  Maybe I'm used to it now, but it wouldn't shock me if in a couple months it hits me out of the blue that Easter never happened for us.  As it was I got sad thinking about taking the decorations down as soon as this weekend (especially the outdoor eggs before it gets cold again)--I barely got to enjoy them!

At one point this week there was a chance Jacob would be playing in a regional tournament in Erie, and I was more than ready to hand that off to Craig (who finally has a weekend off) and stay home with Carter.  Normally I'm up for any sort of adventure, but I am ready for a break--both from being away and from Jacob's wrath.  I figured the two of them could go travel together and maybe Jacob would see that there are advantages to traveling with me?  Ha, doubtful, but I can dream.  I really did want us to bond on these trips, and while we had moments, I tend to think this experience has probably already done more harm than good.  We clash on a lot of things and he just doesn't seem to respect the hard work and sacrifice that goes into these trips, so when I'm trying my best and he's still giving me grief, it's hard.

As it turns out, we won't be going anywhere else anytime soon.  As it was, the tournament we had in Massachusetts in two weeks got canceled, but then Jacob went in to see the ortho doc on Wednesday.  We had made the appointment on the way back from Springfield, but in the end Craig had to postpone because there were too many things happening that day and Jacob's ankle was feeling a lot better by that point.  But after it flared up this weekend, it seemed extra wise to keep this week's appointment, and sure enough, there was a small fibula fracture right around where it meets the ankle.  They couldn't actually see it on the x-ray, but I guess all signs pointed to that being the case.  So not only no travel, but no running, jumping, or playing for 5-6 weeks.  Luckily he can still form shoot (he's prepared to be a free throw master by the end of this, not to mention working on his upper body strength) and he has no limitations on walking, nor does he have to wear a cast or brace, but it's a bummer nonetheless.  So Wichita is out, and we'll have to wait and see on St. Louis.  He has a follow-up right before that trip, so I think we're sort of leaning toward going anyway so Carter and I can do our sightseeing and he can start getting himself integrated back into the team, but we'll see.  The break is welcomed, but obviously not like this.

But after two straight long-distance trips, I feel like I can officially say I'm not really cut out for this stuff.  I'll do what I have to do, of course, but I'm not exactly doing it all with grace and style.  After all these days back, I'm still exhausted and a bit discombobulated.  Between getting back on track at home and work, it's been a lot.  I can't say Jacob was much better.  He ended up staying home from school on Tuesday because he had a bit of a cold and was tired (he slept until noon after initially trying to get up for school).  Being sick probably shouldn't be surprising after a general lack of sleep, eating oddly, being in contact with about 100 players over the course of nine days, and being on three airplanes.  I masked on the planes so I'm hoping that not only prevented me catching something from other people, but also from Jacob--so far so good.  Then Wednesday ended up being a bit of a different debacle caused by still not feeling well, staying up late to get homework done, and not feeling prepared for the day academically or physically.  We had a bit of a rough morning that ultimately involved him refusing to get out of the car, so suffice it to say our re-entry has not been smooth. 

Jacob and I are definitely not compatible as travel partners, but we shouldn't have to do any more trips with just the two of us for a long time.  However, I'm definitely going to be pondering it all in preparation for next year.  Aside from his desire to avoid all touristy things and my opposite desire to make the most of a trip, most of our problems are because I take more time to figure things out than he would.  He is impulsive, and if I did things like him we'd likely be driving all over the place and have other frustrations to deal with from lack of planning.  I choose to research and take a little longer to ensure we're making the best possible decision.  If it took me more than a couple minutes to research dinner spots or to find something I was looking for, he was all over my case.  Sometimes I get rattled during those moments--when things aren't becoming clear or are confusing--and I think that inadvertently rattles him, which makes things spiral even worse.  That happened when we tried to eat in the airport on our last day, as I alluded to in my last post.  We struggled to find food that worked for him (in part because ordering was online and most of the workers didn't speak good enough English to chat about gluten-free and cross-contamination) or something that appealed to me, and at the same time had to figure out how to order and pay for it with our meal vouchers from the airline (our plane didn't get catered overnight, and I wasn't about to pass up $45 in free money).  I was hesitating because it was confusing and I didn't want to do it wrong or waste the money by buying something significantly below the value of each voucher, and he got frustrated.  But we still had to eat, and when you're away from home it's not like you can snap your fingers and fix it.  We were stuck in a situation that didn't work for us and it sucked.  His tolerance for things that suck is not very good.  When I tell him he needs to be more patient and tolerant because life is full of less-than-ideal moments, he insists he is strategically setting up his life to not end up in situations he doesn't like, so he doesn't need to learn how to manage them.  Ha, good luck with that.  Teenagers are great like that, always an answer for everything.  

He also says I'm terrible with technology, but trust me, I could be much worse.  I understand that there are moments where it looks like I'm struggling with the car GPS or my phone, but I'm sure he has those moments too and doesn't realize it.  I wasn't born into this stuff like he was, of course, so maybe he does have an advantage, but his impulsivity doesn't really allow him to realize there are probably things he's not thinking of that I'm trying to take into consideration.  And because I don't want to deal with his wrath, I'm trying to be extra careful to not screw things up, but either way I lose.  Either I do it well and it takes more time, or I do it quickly and something isn't quite right.  When I was booking rental cars he got all over my case because I didn't do it quickly enough to get the one really good deal.  Of course, I'm fairly certain that was a fake deal meant to make you click, because even after the first one "expired" and I immediately tried the new one that popped up in the next search, it did the same thing and jacked the price up at checkout...and yet it kept returning that same fake low price in subsequent search results so it wasn't like it was a limited time offer that ran out.  But when I booked a last-night hotel quickly on Sunday because I saw a price I couldn't pass up and didn't want to lose it, I forgot to double check the bed type and it ended up being "Hotel picks the bed type", which happened to be one King.  UGH.  See, I can't win.  Luckily he didn't give me much crap about that--it was huge and we just put a giant pillow between us and it was fine.  But I know he was annoyed because we'd already had a rough afternoon.  But that's why I'm usually extra neurotic because there are a lot of details he likely wouldn't even think about.  He goes on and on about how "these things don't happen with Dad", but I also know there were at least half a dozen moments where I was convinced that it was something Craig would not have thought about or been prepared for.  Not because he's not a good father, but because his brain doesn't work in some of those details either.  So I guess when they travel together they can just be in that ignorance together, as long as it doesn't bite them in the end? 

It's funny, because as much as I'm relieved these trips are over and happy to be home for a while, there is a part of me that's bummed at the prospect of nothing exciting on the horizon.  I'd forgotten how much I love certain parts of travel.  I hate the stress of planes and airports and not knowing where I'm going.  Hotels can be uncomfortable and eating out can be hard and expensive.  So on a practical level travel is not my favorite.  But I love seeing new places, getting new experiences, and seeing ways of life in other areas.  I'm oddly fascinated by the constant buzz of airports and appreciative of how air travel gets you far away fast.  I love views from the plane and seeing new city skylines.  So much of that stuff gives me a zest for life that I can't get at home, and once the travel is done, it's a bit of a letdown even if I don't actually have the energy to do more right now.  I think part of that is because I've had really long spans without trips previously and worry that will happen again.  And yes, this interruption is one more reminder that planned travel doesn't always work out, and that will likely add to that anxiety next time we have a trip in the works...just when these trips going relatively smoothly started to up my confidence again.

To be honest, I'm actually rather proud of myself for navigating these two trips.  They were really overwhelming and gave me a ton of anxiety for months, and here I am on the other side having done it relatively well.  I didn't crash the rental car, we didn't have any massive fails (aside from the last full day struggles, I guess), and I even added an unexpected 15+ hour road trip to the mix and made it through.  There was a lot that could have gone wrong and didn't.  I got to see some cool things and go to a part of the country I'd never been to or really even thought I'd get to.  When I added the Oklahoma City Museum of Art to my Pinterest "bucket list" board years ago, I'm not sure I expected to be seeing that Chihuly in person any time in the foreseeable future.  But I did.  Trips like this remind you that travel (the activity, not the logistics) shouldn't be hard and we should all strive to do more and see more when we can.  Once upon a time I had this long list of places I wanted to travel thanks to the plethora of webcams I used to frequent.  But I think having kids and limiting ourselves to car/sports-related travel for so many years dulled my expectation of making it out into the world a bit more.  Europe still feels a bit out of reach for me, but this was a good reminder that while travel is not cheap or without stress, it feels good to see new places and expose yourself to different things.  I was really struck by being in Joplin, which had once been destroyed by a tornado, as it was a new concept for me.  I even took a couple minutes to scan the "I Survived" kids book about that tornado in the library the other day.  I was oddly amused by being in places that still had plastic bags (thanks New York) and seemed to put far less emphasis on recycling (not a bin to be found in any of our hotel rooms).  I forgot what it was like to change time zones, and I was excited just to consider the assortment of not-in-New-York fast food I had to choose from.  All those little things are fun and different, and yet there were still missed opportunities left behind that I hope to rectify some day, like the Precious Moments Chapel (ha!), Ozarkland, the Botanical Garden in downtown OKC, and all the stuff we didn't get to stop and see in St. Louis and Indianapolis, which maybe we'll get to do sooner rather than later if things go well in the next month.  It just opened my mind up to things I haven't considered in years, and I don't want to lose that.

It has been quite a whirlwind and I feel like I'm still processing everything that happened in these last two weeks.  Heck, I half-dreamed I was still traveling the other night, forgetting when I woke up that I was actually in my own house.  If that isn't a clue that this has been a lot, I don't know what is.  I don't want to think Jacob's injury was a divine hint that we needed a break, but I guess we have to take advantage and get in a reset while we have the chance.  I'm grateful for the experience but now it's time to tackle the "after" that I kept putting off leading up to it all, whether that's working out, organizing the house, or whatever else.  No excuses...it's time.

Oklahoma is OK, Part 3

As we were getting ready to leave the gym, Jacob mentioned that his ankle was really bothering him again.  It was starting to swell up again.  He said that he had stepped on someone's foot while he was playing but his foot stayed upright and didn't hurt, but otherwise he couldn't pinpoint a moment that might have irritated it.  He already had a teammate with a bad sprain that was getting treatment from an athletic trainer (at least they had one for this tournament!), and Jacob came right after him to get ice and get it wrapped.  Instead of taping it the trainer just gave him an ice wrap which ended up being really uncomfortable, so he took it off almost as soon as he was in the car, though he continued to ice it.  He was pretty upset that it was bothering him again, and I was now slightly panicked because I knew this wouldn't bode well for the things we had vowed to do, no matter what, on Sunday after his game.  The only two things I really wanted to do on this trip, the ones I had given up Friday to do the college tour.  UGH.  

Before we could even get to that, the first order of business was grabbing some lunch.  At that moment, we had forgotten it was Easter Sunday (waaahh) and the first place we tried, Jersey Mike's, was closed.  We had already eaten at Chipotle too many times so we didn't even check there, and we had just done Firehouse, too.  I internally panicked a bit that we wouldn't find anywhere that was open.  We went back to the main strip by our hotel to see if we could find anything else, and in the end there was a Five Guys that was open.  I was barely even hungry after a big hotel breakfast and definitely not wanting a burger, so I just got Jacob a lettuce-wrapped hot dog (you should have seen the look they gave me--yet the idea came from the Albany location we went to in October, so...?).  It felt pretty pathetic when we should have been eating a feast of ham, pierogies, and fancy jello, but it was all we could do to get him fed and move on to our other activities, regardless of what those might look like now that he was hobbled again.

We finally got downtown in the early afternoon, later than I'd hoped but well within what we needed to make things work.  Unfortunately, we happened to hit traffic going to the Oklahoma City Thunder NBA game at 3pm.  Of course.  That only ended up being maybe 10 extra minutes, fortunately, but we did get this view of the tallest skyscraper in the city while we were waiting.  For reference, it's 200 feet taller than the big tower across from Oral Roberts, but 10 stories less.  Go figure.

We also got to see a really cool botanical garden downtown that I had seen on maps and looked into in case I was on my own for this outing.  Had I been alone I definitely would have checked it out, but it clearly wasn't happening this time.  The park was hoppin' with the nice weather and the game, though.  Eventually we drove past the worst of the traffic and found a parking lot right next door to the art museum.  I went to pay for our ticket and as I came back to the car, Jacob got out of the car and could barely walk.  I looked at him in disbelief and was like, "Were you going to tell me you couldn't walk?"  He said he didn't realize it until then, but I feel like he had to have an inkling.  I tried to explain that had I known that, maybe we could have figured something out, like waiting until closer to hotel check-in time and letting him wait there, or something along those lines.  I hadn't wanted to wait until 3pm since the museum closed at 5, but had I known it was that bad, we certainly could have.  Now he left me no choice but to either skip the only goals I had for this trip or drag him through them unwillingly and in pain.  

Call me a terrible mom if you will, but I had to do this stuff.  If I was getting on the plane home knowing I never saw the Chihuly stuff, it would have just crushed my soul.  I was missing Easter for this, and my one consolation was that I'd get to check this one thing off my bucket list, and to take that away really would have crushed me.  I offered up to Jacob multiple opportunities to just sit and wait somewhere in the museum, but he didn't "trust" me to not take forever, so he preferred to make himself miserable following me around.  I can guarantee you that if I was on my own I would have still been hurrying to try to get back to him, but apparently something about how our Disney trip went (?) made him assume otherwise.  In the end the first picture and last picture I took in the museum were 31 minutes apart.  So if that doesn't show that I was trying amidst a sea of Chihulys, I don't know what does.

We slowly made our way toward the museum entrance, and these extra happy tulips were on the way.

I feel like I see a ton of tulip varieties at Highland Park each year, but these were amazing!

The lobby of the museum features this incredible, super tall Chihuly.  This is the object shown in the picture I pinned on my Pinterest board...and there it was!

The colors were fun up close.

The first thing inside was the Chihuly exhibit, which I guess was a special one commemorating the 20th anniversary of when they first had a Chihuly exhibit at the museum and ended up buying the pieces to keep.  I don't really have a concept of what was owned and what might be new, but there was a whole special gallery section for it.

First up were some "Seal Pups".  They looked a bit like funny balloons to me.

I have a greater appreciation for the southwestern blanket pieces after studying them a bit more at Corning.  They're still not my favorite visually, but the intricate designs that are all glass (not paint, despite how they might appear), are amazing.  

This one looked like a vase with a hole in the middle.  I can't imagine being brave enough to put flowers in there!

There were a couple sets like this.  They were bigger than they look, as the bigger ones were probably a couple feet across.

This collection was pretty impressive.  I'm not sure I'd seen many of these in person before, but I think I saw similar ones in the Chihuly wall calendar.

These were even more interesting, almost like giant perfume bottles with funky bird stoppers.

I have been in love with Macchia after seeing a similarly colorful display in Pittsburgh, nestled among the plants in the center of a brick-lined greenhouse.  This wasn't quite as interesting, but maybe the best display of them that's I'd seen since.

This collection of orange bowls was striking.  Looking back, I may have seen the same (or similar ones) in Toronto.

I saw some of these in person in Toronto, but I mostly remember one being featured in the Chihuly wall calendar once and I loved it.  They're like cylindrical vases but with large chunks of glass on the outside.

Across the way from those was one of my favorite Chihuly things--a Persian ceiling.  The Persian ceiling I saw at the Albright-Knox in Buffalo in 1997 was what completely sucked me into Chihuly fandom.  It was incredible.  I could have stayed here for a half hour alone, but instead, I had to make it quick.  This was my view from inside the room of my disgruntled viewing partner walking past me while I stopped, hoping I would follow him and keep moving.

    

Note the scale of the giant vases and flowers behind him

Here's what it looked like in the other direction.  

A picture of one of these from the one I saw in Tacoma has been the photo on my customized credit card for years, and we saw one in Toronto as well.  

I should add here that we were pretty much the only people in the exhibit at the time, and we had a security guard oh-so-casually but very obviously following us through the entire exhibit.  I suppose they need to make sure no one's going to make off with the art, and with only two people to watch, I guess it was harder to make it less obvious we were being watched.  When Jacob walked off to the next room in the picture above, he totally followed Jacob and left me behind.  Oy.

There was room after room of pretty pieces.  

And then there was this...another one of my favorite setups, and probably my favorite version of it:

The first boat I remember seeing was in Pittsburgh, but it just had a bunch of the round Floats in it.  It was so pretty in the middle of a fountain, though.  I loved the ones I saw in Toronto and at the Biltmore that were more similar to this, but this one was just so fun and colorful!  The pieces were way more random and varied.

Rotolos were another thing that I have admired in the calendar.  They're totally up my alley and would be something I'd have in my house if I could. (I mean, I'd take any of it, but these are just me--even if they're not really compatible with my decor.)

I could have spent an hour in the Chihuly section alone.  After the fact I wish I would have taken more pictures, especially up-close ones of specific pieces, to appreciate them more later.  Oh, well.  Reason to go back, I guess.

I told Jacob I wanted to see the rest of the museum quickly while we were there because there were some interesting pieces listed online.  It turned out a bunch of them were not on display, but it was worth the walk...to me anyway.

This one commemorated the Oklahoma City bombing, which we'd be heading toward shortly.

This was part of an exhibit of similar paintings of historical figures.  I figured I should capture this one of Abraham Lincoln, Rochester's own Frederick Douglass, and John Brown.  

The Memorial Art Gallery in Rochester does stuff like this, juxtaposing classic old portraits with funky modern ones.

There was this odd exhibit of doors that I think were photos but almost looked projected and three dimensional, and somewhere as we wound through it, this projection was a moving video on the floor...of two people cuddling in bed.  A little weird even for my tastes!

There was another exhibit that showed modern people viewing classic works of art in other museums, like this person holding up the phone to zoom in on Jesus' nail-pierced feet.  Appropriate for Easter weekend viewing.

In this one, the woman was looking at the Monet wearing a Monet-themed jacket.

I laughed a little because the exhibit had a couple Gauguin examples as well, which hearkened back to another art gallery fail moment.  When we went to Washington DC in 1988, my mom's boss told us to go see the Gauguin exhibit at the National Gallery of Art, and it was...not our style.  We saw a celebrity and someone in a weird hat, but the art was...different.  I've come to appreciate him more in the last 35 years, but seeing Gauguins here in the midst of a challenging gallery visit reminded me of that.

I am a big fan of modern art, and this wing had some good ones.  

That one on the right looked like rippled glass and it was so pretty up close.

This one intrigued me because I remembered a piece from the Albright-Knox in Buffalo that I loved as a kid--I swear I have the postcard in my memory bin somewhere--and this seemed very similar.  Sure enough, same artist!  Google "victor vasarely albright-knox" if you want to see the other one.

I love weird abstract art.  The colors and shapes are so fun, even if I feel like I could do something similar and not have it sell for a million dollars.

Outside this room was the "upstairs view" of the Chihuly.  

And that was mostly it.  I had to ask about one more Chihuly that was on the map, but essentially we were done.  There was another little lobby area on the way that had this piece with the putti (like little cupids) on top...

And then there was this chandelier outside their in-house movie theater.

We headed outside.  It was such a beautiful warm day, and spring had really sprung there.  The area of the museum was full of amazing art deco architecture.  Zoom in on this building across the way and you'll see it.

Another view of the tall one...

The outside of the gallery itself was really cool.

Here's the Chihuly window from outside.  I've seen pictures at night and it looks amazing.

The building to the right (it says Municipal Building) is art deco, too, and had a fountain and sculpture out front.  I wish we could have walked around more, but...well, you know.

A sculpture out front...

Jacob was miserable by this point.  Apparently the half hour wasn't short enough for him, though I'm not sure anything would have been.  But I still wanted to see the Oklahoma City bombing memorial, which was just a couple minutes away.  We found free parking on the street (not without an extra circle of the block because there were people sleeping under a nearby gazebo in one spot), and Jacob reluctantly got out with me.  This bench was on the sidewalk right near the stairs to head up into the memorial area. 

This plaza was behind the building on the side opposite the one hit by the bomb.  You can see that courthouse in the background of many of the bombing photos.  That round area in the center existed at the time of the bombing.

This view looked out over the area where the building once stood.  The building in the background is the memorial museum (which was also damaged).  

This was probably the thing that stung the most as we walked.  It was the grassy play area for the daycare where the children died.  

As we came around through the first gate entrance, the one signifying the minute before the bombing, you could see one of the remaining walls.
  

The pond in the middle was very shallow.  I wish I would have taken video of the space to really capture it, but you know...distracted by the incessant complaining.

Looking back at the 9:01 gate where we came in.

The chairs were moving but it admittedly it felt a little strange to think about sitting on one.  There were smaller ones for the kids, and one of them was decorated for Easter.  It was heartbreaking, but I have to imagine this space can be therapeutic for loved ones.  It was really beautiful.

The names were inscribed on the front of the glass boxes and a little hard to see.  Guessing there was a reason behind it, though.

We walked back through the 9:03 gate at the far end.  That one signified the start of the city's healing.  This was off to the side beneath it.  It was a place where people left things as part of the healing process.  Most items have been removed but some remain and others have been added.  I guess in the garden on the other side of this wall was a tree that survived the blast, and areas dedicated to the rescuers and children...but walking that far would have been subject to a protest. 

This is the outside of the 9:03 gate across the street.  

There's a statue there called "And Jesus Wept".  It was on the site of a Catholic church that suffered severe damage.

It was so hard to fathom the devastation in that area back then.  Here was this giant park-like area in the middle of a city that used to hold an entire building...one that was half destroyed by a giant truck bomb.  Unfathomable.  I was surprised how many other older buildings still appeared to have remained intact nearby.

Jacob didn't understand why it felt important to go there.  I tried to explain that the bomber came from the next town over from where I grew up, and that no one could fathom terrorist activity like this in the heartland of America.  It just couldn't happen there, and it did.  It shook our country in such a different way than the first World Trade Center bombing did.  Not only wasn't it an obvious target, but it was an American that did it.  It just broke the mold on what we thought terrorism in America looked like.  Jacob has never lived in a world where terrorism of some sort wasn't a reality (if not bombings, then definitely school shootings, but knowing 9/11 happened pretty much means we're fair game for anything, I suppose).  He thought it was weird and basically disrespectful to be there.  But he didn't live through it (watching it on the news, I mean), so maybe it would feel that way for him since he didn't have a connection that made mourning possible or necessary.  He later said it was too creepy and dark for Easter Sunday.  He was more fine with going to the art museum but did not appreciate this stop at all.  And to make matters worse, just before we got in the car, he took a step and had a shooting pain in his injured ankle.  We were on our way out but immediately wouldn't have been soon enough for him at that point.  

We headed off to our hotel for the last night.  I snagged a Holiday Inn Express near the airport for $80 that had amazing reviews.  But when we walked in, I realized I had neglected to double check the bed type...because we had one King bed.  Grrreaaat.  I know Jacob was annoyed but he held off on giving me crap for it, thankfully.  We threw a pillow in the middle of the bed and called it good.  We'd be getting up early anyway.  We opted for Easter dinner from Outback Steakhouse since we were missing good food at home, so Jacob had steak and I had a chicken sandwich and Caesar salad (and got to eat the entire loaf of bread myself).  We sat on the bed to eat and watched some TV and YouTube videos.  We had a pleasant night all things considered, even if it wasn't the good family time we'd have had at home.  It was nice to get a break from the arguments, at least.  The sunset was pretty that night.

The way home was generally uneventful.  We were up just before 4, headed out just before 5 after figuring out what snacks to eat for breakfast and fitting all of the leftovers aside from three applesauce cups in our bags to take home.  We grabbed a single gallon of gas to fill the rental car tank, and had an uneventful drop-off and shuttle ride.  

There was a lovely sunrise as we waited...

...and even better was that they upgraded us so we could sit together!  We got Comfort Plus seats which were more comfortable and had better snacks for the three-hour flight to New York City.  Jacob got a nice view of Manhattan as we arrived.  This was all I could get around him.

As we walked out from our gate at Laguardia, this was the view across the way - Citi Field, home of the New York Mets, and Arthur Ashe Stadium at the site of the U.S. Open.  

Things went a bit downhill from there.  We ended up with food vouchers because our plane didn't get catered overnight, but using them proved to be a challenge, as was eating in an airport without chain restaurants.  I'll get a bit more into that debacle in my next post, but suffice it to say I ended up eating Jacob's burger because he was sure it was cross contaminated, and we used our vouchers on that burger, a drink and three snacks for him, and a Starbucks Strawberry Frappuccino for me.  Not the best lunch, but it was all we could muster without killing each other.  Our 2-1/2 hour layover evaporated very quickly and before we knew it we were on our last flight.  I was hoping for a view of NYC or Rochester from my window seat, but I always end up on the wrong side of the plane.  I did, however, get to see some other parts of Rochester, including the spot in Irondequoit across from Seabreeze where Carter and I go to the cool playground and walk the beach.

I also spotted the far end of West Ridge Road near Kodak, with a view down the road, past the mall and all the way to the soccer dome that's past our house...so somewhere in my view were the trees around our house!  Maybe someday I'll see the house given all the times we have planes directly overhead.  We arrived to a very quiet Rochester airport, and Craig and Carter arrived as we were waiting for our gate-checked bags.  It almost felt weird and foreign to be home, but I was very relieved (until I realized all of the cleanup and organizing I had waiting for me).  We had spent the bulk of two weeks traveling, a trip I had been dreading/preparing for for months, and now it was over.  Back to normalcy for a bit...and it was much needed.