I can't even express how much I wish today was Thanksgiving and I had a day off and a weekend awaiting tomorrow. Instead, I have four more days of work and a weekend full of solo parenting standing between me and a four day weekend. Granted, one of those days off will be spent in Buffalo and I have two kids and a house to decorate for Christmas on the other, but my dreams of getting stuff done still persist. I have this endless to do list for stuff around the house that is making me nuts. Between dinner, getting the kids to bed, and falling asleep in my chair while trying to be productive, the list persists. I can't even tell you how far behind I am on most things now, and it's making me crazy. Right now my week off after Christmas just has me salivating. Again, I know that having two kids means that not much will get done, but I am going to do my best. I have to. Too much stuff is piling up and it's starting to make me crazy. Newspapers and mail piled up, pictures and curtains waiting to be hung, a checkbook that desperately needs balancing, photos that need to be sorted and printed, a printer I want to move from our desktop to where my laptop lives, coupons needing to be cut and organized, CDs to be organized, and any other number of random little tasks. They never seem to end. I have a running list on my iPod just in case I find myself with spare time. Ha!
The other night we accidentally let Jacob eat a piece of candy with gluten in it. I thought I had checked the ingredients, but I didn't. We noticed he was a little extra hyper and that clued us in. Not that he was a saint before that, but he was noticeably worse after. He's been a bit of a pain the last couple days since, but hopefully it'll ease up a bit before the weekend. We do see little improvements from time to time, but it still appears to be a slow go. I feel bad about what happened, though. It's our first noticeable slip-up so far, and hopefully our last. The good news is that he didn't seem to have any belly issues from it, though that makes me wonder a bit because I would have thought he would after four weeks off of gluten. I can't imagine where there would be a chance for that to happen, but maybe he's just lucky since he never had stomach issues before.
As for Carter, he seems to be doing well with oatmeal. He doesn't love it, but he'll eat it. He also seems to love his other baby food. He still doesn't eat a ton, but he gladly eats almost anything. Even veggies that he didn't like initially he's come to enjoy when I mix them with pureed meat. I still haven't had much success with finger foods. There are so few he can eat with the rice intolerance, and even well cooked veggies in tiny pieces have been problematic. He has done small pieces of banana but he seems unconvinced. I may try some tiny pieces of turkey on Thanksgiving. I really want to try some dairy again now that it seems the oatmeal is okay. Having a tolerance for dairy opens up a lot of possibilities--including cheese, yogurt, and cheaper formula. Fingers crossed. In the meantime I am so bitter with the baby food companies for sticking rice flour in almost every interesting-sounding baby food concoction.
Carter is really getting around these days. He is constantly taking off for Jacob's toys, even though he's got plenty of his own. I brought up an activity table and he's enjoyed playing with that, including some giant pop beads that came with it. He does pretty well standing up against it, and he's still pulling himself up on things from time to time, with no help except a little balance once in a while. I have a feeling he'll be getting around a lot sooner than Jacob did. We're in trouble!
Craig's busy season pretty much starts this weekend, so I'm bracing myself for lots of solo time with two kids. It's always doable, but Jacob is a wildcard for sure. I need to find some ways to fill the time and keep him engaged, while still keeping Carter occupied and getting some things done myself. It'll definitely be a challenge, though.
Carter, Jacob, and I have all been sick for around two weeks now. Nasty colds all around. Carter seems to have the perma-cold from daycare. Jacob's got a ton of congestion. I thought my cold was going away after a week, but then it came on strong again over last weekend. Two kids, two colds? I hate seeing the kids sick, and I hate having to power through all the time myself. I've been falling asleep early while trying to watch TV or get stuff done online, and it's getting frustrating. Speaking of which, I'm doing to again tonight so that probably means it's time to go to bed again. Sigh.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Nine Months / 15 Years
On Friday Carter turned nine months! I can't even believe we're 3/4 of the way to one year!
He's so sweet and so smiley, and it's been awesome to watch him discover new things lately. He's getting better at crawling, can clap and wave, and we're working on high fives! He's so curious and determined, and we will have our hands full, for sure! We love him so much...and so does everyone else, apparently!
This weekend was a crazy one all around. Friday night we went out to dinner, and Jacob fell asleep on the way there. We brought his gluten-free pizza home with us, and when he woke up at home he had a couple pieces and didn't go to bed until late. Saturday morning Craig had an appearance for work, and I spent the morning cleaning and packing. My college roommate Mary was arriving around noon, and shortly after we were taking off for Buffalo for a concert. One of our favorite bands for college was playing. The band, Five Iron Frenzy, was, as one of our friends put it, the soundtrack to our college years, and they broke up about seven or eight years ago. Well...a couple years or so ago, they decided to reunite and set up a Kickstarter campaign (basically, crowd-funding) and collected what they were seeking in a matter of hours. Clearly there was a market for a new album! The album comes out in less than two weeks, and they've been on tour with a few other ska bands. It's a bit different for them to do a secular tour, as opposed to hitting up Christian venues, but it is a great opportunity for them. Well, when word got out that they would be coming to Buffalo, instantly we knew we had to go. So a couple people spearheaded it and a good-sized group of us (maybe 20?) met up for the show. Jacob had a lacrosse game, so I left him in Rochester with Craig, and Carter came with Mary and me to Buffalo to stay with Grandma and Grandpa. Unfortunately he picked yesterday to start getting some serious separation anxiety and they had a bit of a rough evening, but they survived. The concert was amazing, even if Five Iron didn't play nearly long enough (they were the third of four acts, with Reel Big Fish as the headliner). We got to meet some members of the band afterward, and simply hearing some of those songs live again was awesome and surreal. They were just as good as always--an energetic lead singer, awesome brass, great songs. We had a blast seeing people we hadn't seen in a while, catching up, reminiscing, and dancing along to the music. It was truly great to step back in time about 15 years or so, to when they were the core of our college music experience. Dance parties, concerts, study sessions...you name it, we listened to them. It was fun to leave the kids behind and run off to a concert in a big group again, just like we did in school. Heck, once we even caravanned to Cleveland for a show! This time we even had one couple that came in from the Adirondacks, and were it not for his daughter getting sick, one guy was going to come in from D.C. It was awesome. Mary, Carter, and I slept at my parents (we didn't get home until about 2am thanks to a late night snack), then took off for church in Geneseo, for old time's sake. We didn't get to see our college pastor, but it was nice to be back and see a lot of familiar faces (and lots of students) floating around. We ate pizza at Mama Mia's, then headed back home. Mary left right away (did I mention how awesome it was to see her for the first time in over a year? It was!) because I had to pack up and get us ready to drive back to Buffalo for Craig's Nana's birthday party. I know it's awful to do that drive literally back-to-back, but she's 94 and each one is special now. It's also been a couple months since I last saw Craig's family, so it was overdue. There wasn't any way to really meet there, though, since Mary was with me, so it was a lot of traveling, for sure. But the evening was fun and Carter's cousins and Nana absolutely loved him! We got back a little before 10, and thank goodness both kids slept most of the way. Carter needed a nap prior to his bedtime bottle, and Jacob really needed the sleep. I'm exhausted, though, and trying to push through to get a few things done. It's going to storm here anyway shortly (hello, 65 degree day in November. You always come with a price!), so I'm not sure what good it will do to go to bed!
But I need to try, I guess! It was a fun weekend, but in cause there was any doubt, I am not still 20, and my body knows it!
Friday, November 15, 2013
Disconnect
One of the hardest things about Jacob's difficulties these days is that I feel so disconnected from him. Part of that is because he barely lets me get near him without beating on me, and part of it is because Craig does his best to manage him and shield me from the ridiculousness. It saddens me when I think of how Jacob and I were once nearly inseparable, much like Carter and I are now. He smiled every time he saw me, stopped crying when I picked him up, came to me when I arrived at daycare, and spent every waking moment wanting to be near me in some form. And while I knew some of that would wane as he got older and Daddy became cooler (in part because he's his sports buddy), obviously I never imagined the situation we're in.
The other night Craig and I had a little bit of a tiff because we both forgot to send something into school that Jacob needed. Craig has been managing a lot of Jacob's schoolwork lately, for a lot of reasons. Jacob likes to be with him more, Craig has more patience, and it just sort of works out that he can work with him on homework while I cook dinner, or before I get home, if he picks Jacob up a little early. As a result, he's been the one cleaning out his take-home folder every night. He's been leaving the papers in a pile on our very messy dining room table, and I'll be honest, there are so many piles of papers (old assignments, artwork, notes, etc.) and I have so many things I'm trying to get handled in the evenings that I don't always get to the piles to see what's important. Well, the one note slipped both our minds after the initial reading, and we felt so bad when we realized we missed the due date. Craig was annoyed with me because I'm not that involved with Jacob anymore, and I was annoyed with him because leaving the note in a pile of papers is not helpful when I've got a million other things going on. Obviously we were both at fault and we need a better system. But believe me, I hate that I'm so disconnected from Jacob right now. I want to be talking to him and snuggling with him and playing with him. But so many interactions end up with him hitting me (even in "fun", or so he thinks--despite our insistence otherwise), or yelling at me, or stomping off, or just acting plain weird, and it's hard to bond with a kid like that.
The fact is, I don't love him any less, but I feel like that love is sort of, well, in hibernation. I think this is the case for a few reasons. First, he won't let me express my love to him. I can barely hug him without getting hit. I try to talk to him, and he walks away, yells, or ignores me. I'm hesitant to buy him anything to show that I'm thinking of him, because he acts spoiled and entitled a lot of the time.
By the way, just yesterday, as we were doing his "What I'm Thankful For" homework, he said he wasn't thankful for anything. When I challenged him on that, he said he'd be fine if he didn't have a house, family, toys, or even food and water. I tried to explain to him the suffering going on in the Philippines right now, that kids just like him are experiencing that very reality, and he kept trying to play it off as not a big deal, like how he'd be the exception. It's hard to have a meaningful conversation with your kid when they dismiss everything you say and don't appreciate what they have.
The second reason is because there aren't a lot of good moments to celebrate right now. I mean, when I think of how things are with Carter at the moment, I tell that kid I love him a dozen times a day. Aside from just being my little piece of sanity and bliss, he's such a little sponge right now. He's learned how to crawl, perfected clapping, and started waving, all pretty much in the past week. He's so cute, sweet, and funny, and I'm just so proud of all he's learning. He brings me so much happiness and I often express that joy by telling him how much I love him. As far as Jacob is concerned, I would gladly do that for him as well, but there's just not much to applaud. I know he's learning at school, and when he illustrates that for us, I definitely praise him as much as I can. I love to see him identify words, do math, or draw a cool picture. But we don't see too much of it, or if we do, it's too often accompanied by the less enjoyable traits he's been displaying lately. No matter how hard we try to find the good in what he does, there is usually so much bad that it overshadows everything. It's not that I love him any less, but I do have to dig a little harder to find the lovable traits, and some days that's just hard.
Finally, I think to some degree it's a defense mechanism. To be gushingly in love with your child only to be repeatedly rejected and attacked...well, it's simply heartbreaking. And based on my own experience, that can only go on for so long before it just breaks you. So the walls go up, to some degree. It is a means of self-preservation. You almost have to treat it like a business transaction--do what you've got to do, get in and get out, nothing more. I'm not saying that you're a jerk or even a robot, but right now, the simpler and quicker the better. While I'd love to give him kisses and hugs, I settle for polite conversation. While I'd love to encourage him to draw elaborate drawings in his homework, the reality is that we need him to get it done as soon as possible, before a random meltdown derails the whole thing. So while I'd love to shower him with affection and encourage him to excel, those things only lead to disaster right now, and it's not worth the disappointment time and time again. I'll always try to make sure he knows that I love him, but I have to keep my expectations low and take what I can get.
I want to emphasize that I love Jacob so much. So much that what we're going through right now hurts terribly. I'm moved to tears just thinking about it, almost every day. Despite the anger, frustration, and sadness that I feel in the midst of his tantrums and all of our struggles, I want so much more for him, and so much more for the rest of us. He's missing out on a lot of love, affection, and fun, and we're missing out on enjoying the amazing kid we know he can be. We don't know what stole that away from us, but we're doing everything in our power to get it back.
The other night Craig and I had a little bit of a tiff because we both forgot to send something into school that Jacob needed. Craig has been managing a lot of Jacob's schoolwork lately, for a lot of reasons. Jacob likes to be with him more, Craig has more patience, and it just sort of works out that he can work with him on homework while I cook dinner, or before I get home, if he picks Jacob up a little early. As a result, he's been the one cleaning out his take-home folder every night. He's been leaving the papers in a pile on our very messy dining room table, and I'll be honest, there are so many piles of papers (old assignments, artwork, notes, etc.) and I have so many things I'm trying to get handled in the evenings that I don't always get to the piles to see what's important. Well, the one note slipped both our minds after the initial reading, and we felt so bad when we realized we missed the due date. Craig was annoyed with me because I'm not that involved with Jacob anymore, and I was annoyed with him because leaving the note in a pile of papers is not helpful when I've got a million other things going on. Obviously we were both at fault and we need a better system. But believe me, I hate that I'm so disconnected from Jacob right now. I want to be talking to him and snuggling with him and playing with him. But so many interactions end up with him hitting me (even in "fun", or so he thinks--despite our insistence otherwise), or yelling at me, or stomping off, or just acting plain weird, and it's hard to bond with a kid like that.
The fact is, I don't love him any less, but I feel like that love is sort of, well, in hibernation. I think this is the case for a few reasons. First, he won't let me express my love to him. I can barely hug him without getting hit. I try to talk to him, and he walks away, yells, or ignores me. I'm hesitant to buy him anything to show that I'm thinking of him, because he acts spoiled and entitled a lot of the time.
By the way, just yesterday, as we were doing his "What I'm Thankful For" homework, he said he wasn't thankful for anything. When I challenged him on that, he said he'd be fine if he didn't have a house, family, toys, or even food and water. I tried to explain to him the suffering going on in the Philippines right now, that kids just like him are experiencing that very reality, and he kept trying to play it off as not a big deal, like how he'd be the exception. It's hard to have a meaningful conversation with your kid when they dismiss everything you say and don't appreciate what they have.
The second reason is because there aren't a lot of good moments to celebrate right now. I mean, when I think of how things are with Carter at the moment, I tell that kid I love him a dozen times a day. Aside from just being my little piece of sanity and bliss, he's such a little sponge right now. He's learned how to crawl, perfected clapping, and started waving, all pretty much in the past week. He's so cute, sweet, and funny, and I'm just so proud of all he's learning. He brings me so much happiness and I often express that joy by telling him how much I love him. As far as Jacob is concerned, I would gladly do that for him as well, but there's just not much to applaud. I know he's learning at school, and when he illustrates that for us, I definitely praise him as much as I can. I love to see him identify words, do math, or draw a cool picture. But we don't see too much of it, or if we do, it's too often accompanied by the less enjoyable traits he's been displaying lately. No matter how hard we try to find the good in what he does, there is usually so much bad that it overshadows everything. It's not that I love him any less, but I do have to dig a little harder to find the lovable traits, and some days that's just hard.
Finally, I think to some degree it's a defense mechanism. To be gushingly in love with your child only to be repeatedly rejected and attacked...well, it's simply heartbreaking. And based on my own experience, that can only go on for so long before it just breaks you. So the walls go up, to some degree. It is a means of self-preservation. You almost have to treat it like a business transaction--do what you've got to do, get in and get out, nothing more. I'm not saying that you're a jerk or even a robot, but right now, the simpler and quicker the better. While I'd love to give him kisses and hugs, I settle for polite conversation. While I'd love to encourage him to draw elaborate drawings in his homework, the reality is that we need him to get it done as soon as possible, before a random meltdown derails the whole thing. So while I'd love to shower him with affection and encourage him to excel, those things only lead to disaster right now, and it's not worth the disappointment time and time again. I'll always try to make sure he knows that I love him, but I have to keep my expectations low and take what I can get.
I want to emphasize that I love Jacob so much. So much that what we're going through right now hurts terribly. I'm moved to tears just thinking about it, almost every day. Despite the anger, frustration, and sadness that I feel in the midst of his tantrums and all of our struggles, I want so much more for him, and so much more for the rest of us. He's missing out on a lot of love, affection, and fun, and we're missing out on enjoying the amazing kid we know he can be. We don't know what stole that away from us, but we're doing everything in our power to get it back.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Video Wednesday
Just a quick one today...two fun videos of our silly little Carter!
First up is a video I tried to take of him crawling, but he ended up just cracking up instead, and it is SO cute...
I love that laugh so much! And speaking of which...here's another dose. But there's a backstory to this one. So, pretty much for the last many months, probably five months or so, Carter has had a tendency to take his bib and put it up over his face. I'm not sure why he does it, but he does it all the time. For the longest time he would freak out like he was being suffocated. He'd do it every time, and when you pulled the bib off his face, he'd chill out...and then do it all over again! Lately he's been doing it with blankets and burp cloths, too, but with one added feature...now he laughs! Instead of panicking, he laughs hysterically! Since I had been meaning to get the bib trick on video for ages and hadn't, I decided I had to get the current iteration on video. So, here it is...
He's so funny sometimes. His other recent trick is clapping. He started doing it a bit a month or so ago, but in the past few days he's been doing it a lot, and you can tell he knows what he's doing now. It's so cute! The other recent development is that he almost seems to be waving! It's hard to tell if it's just him randomly waving his arm at the right time, or if he's officially picked it up, but it's been fun just thinking that maybe he's doing it on purpose! He's so sweet and I just can't get enough of him...though chasing him down is getting to be a challenge now!
Oh, and we're up to day three of oatmeal with no reactions yet. He did wake up once tonight whining, which could be a gas thing, but we'll just have to see. It took a week last time so we still have a ways to go, but fingers crossed. God knows we need a grain or two to work with!
Not much to report on Jacob. No real change in his behavior yet. We're almost up to three weeks on the diet and I'd have hoped to see at least a small light at the end of the tunnel, but not yet. He's still violent and his episodes may be worse than before. However, when he's not having one, I'd almost venture to say that he's slightly better. But those moments are fewer and farther between than we'd like them to be, and it's hard to tell if it's an isolated occurrence or not. I'm trying to be patient, but it is not easy.
And one last note...another random factoid...One year ago tomorrow was my car accident. Hard to believe it's been a year already! I would definitely like to put that memory as far away as possible, but it's amazing to think about where we were a year ago and all we've been through since. Time has definitely flown. That said, I was thinking the other day that despite the joy of Carter's birth, for once I will be genuinely happy to bid farewell to this year. It has been a hard one, for sure. A fresh start in 2014 is definitely going to be something to aim for.
But for now, I'll enjoy the smiles and giggles from our tiniest family member, and that should help get us through!
First up is a video I tried to take of him crawling, but he ended up just cracking up instead, and it is SO cute...
I love that laugh so much! And speaking of which...here's another dose. But there's a backstory to this one. So, pretty much for the last many months, probably five months or so, Carter has had a tendency to take his bib and put it up over his face. I'm not sure why he does it, but he does it all the time. For the longest time he would freak out like he was being suffocated. He'd do it every time, and when you pulled the bib off his face, he'd chill out...and then do it all over again! Lately he's been doing it with blankets and burp cloths, too, but with one added feature...now he laughs! Instead of panicking, he laughs hysterically! Since I had been meaning to get the bib trick on video for ages and hadn't, I decided I had to get the current iteration on video. So, here it is...
He's so funny sometimes. His other recent trick is clapping. He started doing it a bit a month or so ago, but in the past few days he's been doing it a lot, and you can tell he knows what he's doing now. It's so cute! The other recent development is that he almost seems to be waving! It's hard to tell if it's just him randomly waving his arm at the right time, or if he's officially picked it up, but it's been fun just thinking that maybe he's doing it on purpose! He's so sweet and I just can't get enough of him...though chasing him down is getting to be a challenge now!
Oh, and we're up to day three of oatmeal with no reactions yet. He did wake up once tonight whining, which could be a gas thing, but we'll just have to see. It took a week last time so we still have a ways to go, but fingers crossed. God knows we need a grain or two to work with!
Not much to report on Jacob. No real change in his behavior yet. We're almost up to three weeks on the diet and I'd have hoped to see at least a small light at the end of the tunnel, but not yet. He's still violent and his episodes may be worse than before. However, when he's not having one, I'd almost venture to say that he's slightly better. But those moments are fewer and farther between than we'd like them to be, and it's hard to tell if it's an isolated occurrence or not. I'm trying to be patient, but it is not easy.
And one last note...another random factoid...One year ago tomorrow was my car accident. Hard to believe it's been a year already! I would definitely like to put that memory as far away as possible, but it's amazing to think about where we were a year ago and all we've been through since. Time has definitely flown. That said, I was thinking the other day that despite the joy of Carter's birth, for once I will be genuinely happy to bid farewell to this year. It has been a hard one, for sure. A fresh start in 2014 is definitely going to be something to aim for.
But for now, I'll enjoy the smiles and giggles from our tiniest family member, and that should help get us through!
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
The Gluten-Free Experience
The whole gluten-free thing has been an interesting experience. It's not all bad, but it is definitely not ideal. It is so strange to go to the grocery store and have to shop completely differently than before. I skip entire aisles, ignore sections I used to frequent, and spend a lot of time reading labels. It's hard to pass by certain foods or look with new eyes at everything else to come up with meals we can eat. My list is still pretty short, but I'm trying.
I definitely miss being able to eat out on a whim, or eat out in general. The places we can go are really limited, and even at the places we can go, it's hard to know whether or not Jacob will eat whatever is available. I mean, I know that a place like Chili's offers a grilled chicken breast or a burger with no bun, but will he eat it? And given his extra negativity and stubbornness lately, it's usually a total crapshoot from day to day. I drive by a dozen restaurants every day (and I really need to turn off some email subscriptions) and I long for so many places (like the Moe's that just opened up five minutes from our house), but most of them are off-limits now. It's not just the food, but the fun of the adventure and the ease of not having to cook or think up yet another meal. Though I will say, the stress of finding somewhere to eat safely does encourage me to cook at home more than I thought it would.
I suppose it's good we're saving that money, since gluten-free food costs so much more. I know people are all, "Eat naturally!", "No processed food!", blah, blah, blah when it comes to eating gluten-free, but let's face it. I'm a working mom who has a window of about an hour max to get dinner on the table each night before totally throwing off our schedule for the evening. I can't make everything from scratch. I'm doing my darnedest to explore new frontiers of cooking. I did a pork tenderloin on a weeknight last week, and baked potatoes have become a staple. I did a stirfry the other night with chicken, broccoli, a little edamame (soybeans--I like them but Jacob wasn't too enthused), and Wegmans stirfry sauce, which apparently has no soy sauce, as it is gluten-free. Jacob didn't really love it, but again, it's hard to know if he's just being difficult or legitimately hates it. I made a pizza crust from a mix last Friday (mixed reviews on that one) and I've doctored a few of my go-to recipes pretty successfully. Tonight I did sweet potato fries, which I sort of messed up, but Jacob liked them anyway.
I'm still relying on a lot of convenience products, however. Jacob's lunches are particularly tough in that regard. I usually send him a sandwich and two sides for lunch, plus one afternoon snack during school and another for after school, so he doesn't get tempted to eat what they're offering. Usually it's some assortment of yogurt, applesauce, or pudding; pretzels or another salty/savory snack; an apple; a granola bar or some sort of gluten-free cookies. He's shot down the gluten-free cracker-type cookies (Annie's Bunny Cookies (like animal crackers)), which is a bummer since they're among the least unhealthy looking. He's going through a phase where PB&J is a problem, so the past couple days I've sent cheese and crackers. Better than the crappy, processed Lunchables, right? But really, there are only so many things he will eat and that will keep in a lunchbox and aren't a pain to prepare. Those bento box moms are great, but I'm not sure my kid will eat baby carrots or cold quinoa or whatever. He will eat peppers and dip, however, so I should really look into that. And that, in a nutshell, is the thing about this. There are options out there, but the challenge is finding the ones that will work for us. Thinking outside the box isn't easy, but finding the out-of-the-box ideas that fit with our tastes and time-constraints is even harder.
Of course, since Carter's visit to the allergist last week, I'm becoming increasingly more panicked about what the heck that poor kid is going to eat. A rice sensitivity by itself wouldn't be a big deal. But a rice sensitivity in a household where rice flour is in almost everything we consume? Impossible. I'm pretty much facing two or three years of double meals and an ongoing risk of cross-contamination. Originally I wanted to mostly strip my kitchen of all gluten-containing items, unless I had to do something specific--say, the monkey bread my office loves. I can clean hardcore after one cooking session, after all. But am I going to be forced to keep regular bread in my house? Or snacks that Jacob can't go near? I had already resigned myself to the fact that birthdays might always include two cakes--one gluten free and one not--but now I know that Carter can't eat the gluten-free cake, and depending on how things go with the other grains and dairy, maybe none at all. I started him on oatmeal last night. It took a week for him to start reacting to rice cereal, so we'll see how this goes. Once we're comfortable with that, I'm going to try adding a small scoop of gentle formula to what he's drinking now to see how he reacts to dairy. I did that around six months and he seemed uncomfortable, but that could just be because he ended up getting teeth right after that. I didn't take any chances, though, and vowed to try again at nine months, which is next week. But I want to get firmly settled with the oatmeal before I try that. I have another few weeks of his usual formula on hand, so I'm not really in a rush for that. Still, it would be nice to know dairy is okay, since it opens up the option of yogurt, cheese, and those crunchy yogurt drops.
Part of me is debating pushing the allergist a little harder on whether there is anything else we can do. I'd rather not just sit around and drive myself crazy until he's three and we can try him on rice again. If we can test earlier, or if there's some sort of blood test, or if we can do a gradual introduction thing to get his body used to it...I will try anything to make things easier sooner. While circumstantial evidence certainly points to the rice, I can't help but wonder if there was anything else that could have caused it. I doubt it, but now that the stakes are so much higher, I find myself wondering. What if he outgrows it sooner? Is it worth testing in a few months to see if he's better, or is that just mean? I don't know. I'm just overwhelmed when I see all of the baby foods that include rice, and I worry about what happens if other grains cause issues, as well. It's just a lot to think about, and I don't want one kid's diet to make the other one sick.
On one hand I feel like I'm handling this with more grace that I thought, but on the other I still have all of these panicky moments and wish I had more time to search for recipes and tips so I could plan our meals better. I'm doing what I can, but it's still a bit of a scary world for me. I just wish the diet was helping Jacob's behavior so I could really feel like all of this was more rewarding. I know it's important for his health regardless, but a tangible result would have been nice, too. Maybe someday. I just never imagined I would ever resent grains as much as I do right now. Arg.
I'll end this post with a fun little factoid. Six years ago tonight I found out I was pregnant with Jacob. It's hard to believe. Our lives were never the same, that's for sure. The nausea and exhaustion were quick to follow, and the rest of the pregnancy was quite an experience! Things haven't slowed down since, and it's been quite the crazy five-plus years since he was born. I sure as heck never thought this would be our situation six years later, but God willing it will get better and we'll look back on this time wondering how we ever did it. Let's hope.
I definitely miss being able to eat out on a whim, or eat out in general. The places we can go are really limited, and even at the places we can go, it's hard to know whether or not Jacob will eat whatever is available. I mean, I know that a place like Chili's offers a grilled chicken breast or a burger with no bun, but will he eat it? And given his extra negativity and stubbornness lately, it's usually a total crapshoot from day to day. I drive by a dozen restaurants every day (and I really need to turn off some email subscriptions) and I long for so many places (like the Moe's that just opened up five minutes from our house), but most of them are off-limits now. It's not just the food, but the fun of the adventure and the ease of not having to cook or think up yet another meal. Though I will say, the stress of finding somewhere to eat safely does encourage me to cook at home more than I thought it would.
I suppose it's good we're saving that money, since gluten-free food costs so much more. I know people are all, "Eat naturally!", "No processed food!", blah, blah, blah when it comes to eating gluten-free, but let's face it. I'm a working mom who has a window of about an hour max to get dinner on the table each night before totally throwing off our schedule for the evening. I can't make everything from scratch. I'm doing my darnedest to explore new frontiers of cooking. I did a pork tenderloin on a weeknight last week, and baked potatoes have become a staple. I did a stirfry the other night with chicken, broccoli, a little edamame (soybeans--I like them but Jacob wasn't too enthused), and Wegmans stirfry sauce, which apparently has no soy sauce, as it is gluten-free. Jacob didn't really love it, but again, it's hard to know if he's just being difficult or legitimately hates it. I made a pizza crust from a mix last Friday (mixed reviews on that one) and I've doctored a few of my go-to recipes pretty successfully. Tonight I did sweet potato fries, which I sort of messed up, but Jacob liked them anyway.
I'm still relying on a lot of convenience products, however. Jacob's lunches are particularly tough in that regard. I usually send him a sandwich and two sides for lunch, plus one afternoon snack during school and another for after school, so he doesn't get tempted to eat what they're offering. Usually it's some assortment of yogurt, applesauce, or pudding; pretzels or another salty/savory snack; an apple; a granola bar or some sort of gluten-free cookies. He's shot down the gluten-free cracker-type cookies (Annie's Bunny Cookies (like animal crackers)), which is a bummer since they're among the least unhealthy looking. He's going through a phase where PB&J is a problem, so the past couple days I've sent cheese and crackers. Better than the crappy, processed Lunchables, right? But really, there are only so many things he will eat and that will keep in a lunchbox and aren't a pain to prepare. Those bento box moms are great, but I'm not sure my kid will eat baby carrots or cold quinoa or whatever. He will eat peppers and dip, however, so I should really look into that. And that, in a nutshell, is the thing about this. There are options out there, but the challenge is finding the ones that will work for us. Thinking outside the box isn't easy, but finding the out-of-the-box ideas that fit with our tastes and time-constraints is even harder.
Of course, since Carter's visit to the allergist last week, I'm becoming increasingly more panicked about what the heck that poor kid is going to eat. A rice sensitivity by itself wouldn't be a big deal. But a rice sensitivity in a household where rice flour is in almost everything we consume? Impossible. I'm pretty much facing two or three years of double meals and an ongoing risk of cross-contamination. Originally I wanted to mostly strip my kitchen of all gluten-containing items, unless I had to do something specific--say, the monkey bread my office loves. I can clean hardcore after one cooking session, after all. But am I going to be forced to keep regular bread in my house? Or snacks that Jacob can't go near? I had already resigned myself to the fact that birthdays might always include two cakes--one gluten free and one not--but now I know that Carter can't eat the gluten-free cake, and depending on how things go with the other grains and dairy, maybe none at all. I started him on oatmeal last night. It took a week for him to start reacting to rice cereal, so we'll see how this goes. Once we're comfortable with that, I'm going to try adding a small scoop of gentle formula to what he's drinking now to see how he reacts to dairy. I did that around six months and he seemed uncomfortable, but that could just be because he ended up getting teeth right after that. I didn't take any chances, though, and vowed to try again at nine months, which is next week. But I want to get firmly settled with the oatmeal before I try that. I have another few weeks of his usual formula on hand, so I'm not really in a rush for that. Still, it would be nice to know dairy is okay, since it opens up the option of yogurt, cheese, and those crunchy yogurt drops.
Part of me is debating pushing the allergist a little harder on whether there is anything else we can do. I'd rather not just sit around and drive myself crazy until he's three and we can try him on rice again. If we can test earlier, or if there's some sort of blood test, or if we can do a gradual introduction thing to get his body used to it...I will try anything to make things easier sooner. While circumstantial evidence certainly points to the rice, I can't help but wonder if there was anything else that could have caused it. I doubt it, but now that the stakes are so much higher, I find myself wondering. What if he outgrows it sooner? Is it worth testing in a few months to see if he's better, or is that just mean? I don't know. I'm just overwhelmed when I see all of the baby foods that include rice, and I worry about what happens if other grains cause issues, as well. It's just a lot to think about, and I don't want one kid's diet to make the other one sick.
On one hand I feel like I'm handling this with more grace that I thought, but on the other I still have all of these panicky moments and wish I had more time to search for recipes and tips so I could plan our meals better. I'm doing what I can, but it's still a bit of a scary world for me. I just wish the diet was helping Jacob's behavior so I could really feel like all of this was more rewarding. I know it's important for his health regardless, but a tangible result would have been nice, too. Maybe someday. I just never imagined I would ever resent grains as much as I do right now. Arg.
I'll end this post with a fun little factoid. Six years ago tonight I found out I was pregnant with Jacob. It's hard to believe. Our lives were never the same, that's for sure. The nausea and exhaustion were quick to follow, and the rest of the pregnancy was quite an experience! Things haven't slowed down since, and it's been quite the crazy five-plus years since he was born. I sure as heck never thought this would be our situation six years later, but God willing it will get better and we'll look back on this time wondering how we ever did it. Let's hope.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Weekend of Firsts
What a weekend it's been! We've pretty much had a little of everything, I think. Mostly good, I guess, but busy!
Saturday was non-stop. First up was the opening of the new wing at our mall. Craig and Jacob went first because the Knighthawks mascot was going to be there, and Carter and I showed up a little later. We all walked around the mall a bit, then tried to figure out lunch, which takes on a whole new level of difficulty now that Jacob is gluten-free. There are very few options in the fast food realm. Eventually there will be a Red Robin in our mall, which will be great, but we won't always have time for that. Jacob ended up eating Arby's roast beef minus the bun, along with apples and milk. Not ideal, but it was about the best we could do. After lunch the guys took off because they had to get to Jacob's first lacrosse game! Carter and I walked around the mall a bit more as I tried to scout out things as I try to slowly transition my wardrobe to a more mature, polished, age-appropriate one. No luck, however. We had one more stop at the mall to buy a small gift for the event we were attending in the evening, and ran into a couple people on our way out of the mall, on our way to Jacob's game.
Jacob's first practice was last Tuesday, and the whole thing is a little intimidating. Most kids are older and bigger than him, but the bright spot is that the son of his summer baseball coach is also on his team, and he's even smaller (though not younger) than Jacob. He's also got some, shall we say, attention issues, so it's probably good they have each other. I likened it to my friendship with my friend Heather back when we were kids, because we were both the smallest kids in the class and we had each other so we didn't feel quite as alone. Anyway, we weren't sure how this game was going to go since his skills weren't quite up to the level of the other kids, but he did get to play and it wasn't a total disaster or anything. He actually got hit in the head once, and it drew a penalty. He was pretty proud of that. He had one breakaway and the ball got flipped out of his stick at the last minute. It wasn't anything stellar, but he survived! Here are a couple pictures...
His team kicked the crap out of the other team, and I said to Craig that it would be interesting to see how he'd do on the other team, where there is obviously far less talent. It's the team from the next town over, and while I don't think we'd leave the organization he's with now, it's intriguing. Given a year or two like the bigger kids, he may end up just as good as them.
We headed home after the game and got things organized a bit prior to Craig and I taking off for our evening activity, the vow renewal of friends of ours. The boys played outside a bit, and then Lori came to watch the kids. We had talked it up all week, but we kept our fingers crossed that Jacob wouldn't freak out too badly. Fortunately, things seemed to go relatively well. It was nice having an evening out together. Our friends, who are big Knighthawks fans, have been married 10 years and decided to renew their vows. They did it at a restaurant downtown that's sort of the Knighthawks' unofficial hangout. It was low key but lovely. Craig brought the Cup in for the night, which they were very excited about...
After the ceremony, a few drinks, dinner, and a couple cupcakes, we headed home. Both kids were awake when we got there. Jacob was going down, and Carter just needed his bedtime bottle. It was good to get some bonus Carter time, but eventually off to bed we went as well after a very busy day.
This morning I woke up feeling a little sub-par. But I got ready for church and worked on getting the kids ready, too. Craig had a player appearance this morning so he couldn't go with us, but he worked hard getting Jacob ready for church. Well, he was completely uncooperative, violent as usual, and generally impossible. We ended up missing church because we simply could not get out of the house on time. We could have gone to the late service, but we'd have missed Sunday School, and by 11am I was starting to feel extra crappy. Over the course of the day it became apparent that I had a cold. I took a desperate nap (or decent doze session, given Jacob's volume level), just to try to function. I got a couple bursts of energy to put away the absurd amount of 12 month clothing I got out for Carter (a TON of hand-me-downs from his cousins and Jacob combined--most don't fit yet but some do) and to hang up the framed needlepoints of the boys' names that our friend's wife did a few weeks back. I have about a dozen other things I would have liked to do today, but this cold definitely knocked me on my butt, completely without warning.
The other big thing this weekend is that Carter is officially crawling! He's still not that good at it, but he can definitely get where he's going even if he hasn't perfected his form yet. He does crawl, but he's much more effective with launching forward, rolling, and scooting. But I definitely saw the legs moving the way they needed to, and he is now trying to get into everything. Yesterday he was going for the table hockey game, and today he had Legos as his bait. He'll also do what he can to get the remote control, my iPod, the camera, or anything else off-limits. He's still working on pulling up on the Incrediblock, but he's definitely getting much better at standing up there once he's up. He's very curious and determined, so we have our hands full now. The pack-n-play is going to be seeing a lot more activity now! In case you're wondering, he's about three weeks ahead of Jacob. Jacob started at 9-1/2 months, and Carter is a week shy of nine months. Hard to believe!
I'll have some videos to share soon (more of Carter's insane cuteness than crawling), but didn't have a chance to upload it yet. I also snapped a picture of Jacob to make sure he's not left out...
He played a lot with his Legos today, which was good, and the guys had a short stint outside, too. It took Jacob so long to get himself ready that they barely got it in before it was dark out!
So, it was a busy weekend with a couple firsts and plenty of other events to keep us busy. Next weekend should be interesting, too, but we have another long week ahead before that. Wish us luck...
Saturday was non-stop. First up was the opening of the new wing at our mall. Craig and Jacob went first because the Knighthawks mascot was going to be there, and Carter and I showed up a little later. We all walked around the mall a bit, then tried to figure out lunch, which takes on a whole new level of difficulty now that Jacob is gluten-free. There are very few options in the fast food realm. Eventually there will be a Red Robin in our mall, which will be great, but we won't always have time for that. Jacob ended up eating Arby's roast beef minus the bun, along with apples and milk. Not ideal, but it was about the best we could do. After lunch the guys took off because they had to get to Jacob's first lacrosse game! Carter and I walked around the mall a bit more as I tried to scout out things as I try to slowly transition my wardrobe to a more mature, polished, age-appropriate one. No luck, however. We had one more stop at the mall to buy a small gift for the event we were attending in the evening, and ran into a couple people on our way out of the mall, on our way to Jacob's game.
Jacob's first practice was last Tuesday, and the whole thing is a little intimidating. Most kids are older and bigger than him, but the bright spot is that the son of his summer baseball coach is also on his team, and he's even smaller (though not younger) than Jacob. He's also got some, shall we say, attention issues, so it's probably good they have each other. I likened it to my friendship with my friend Heather back when we were kids, because we were both the smallest kids in the class and we had each other so we didn't feel quite as alone. Anyway, we weren't sure how this game was going to go since his skills weren't quite up to the level of the other kids, but he did get to play and it wasn't a total disaster or anything. He actually got hit in the head once, and it drew a penalty. He was pretty proud of that. He had one breakaway and the ball got flipped out of his stick at the last minute. It wasn't anything stellar, but he survived! Here are a couple pictures...
 |
| He's the one in white and orange. Notice the socks--he insisted on wearing black dress socks, and one apparently slid down. Oy. |
 |
| Notice the size difference...but still, he held his own...enough. |
We headed home after the game and got things organized a bit prior to Craig and I taking off for our evening activity, the vow renewal of friends of ours. The boys played outside a bit, and then Lori came to watch the kids. We had talked it up all week, but we kept our fingers crossed that Jacob wouldn't freak out too badly. Fortunately, things seemed to go relatively well. It was nice having an evening out together. Our friends, who are big Knighthawks fans, have been married 10 years and decided to renew their vows. They did it at a restaurant downtown that's sort of the Knighthawks' unofficial hangout. It was low key but lovely. Craig brought the Cup in for the night, which they were very excited about...
After the ceremony, a few drinks, dinner, and a couple cupcakes, we headed home. Both kids were awake when we got there. Jacob was going down, and Carter just needed his bedtime bottle. It was good to get some bonus Carter time, but eventually off to bed we went as well after a very busy day.
This morning I woke up feeling a little sub-par. But I got ready for church and worked on getting the kids ready, too. Craig had a player appearance this morning so he couldn't go with us, but he worked hard getting Jacob ready for church. Well, he was completely uncooperative, violent as usual, and generally impossible. We ended up missing church because we simply could not get out of the house on time. We could have gone to the late service, but we'd have missed Sunday School, and by 11am I was starting to feel extra crappy. Over the course of the day it became apparent that I had a cold. I took a desperate nap (or decent doze session, given Jacob's volume level), just to try to function. I got a couple bursts of energy to put away the absurd amount of 12 month clothing I got out for Carter (a TON of hand-me-downs from his cousins and Jacob combined--most don't fit yet but some do) and to hang up the framed needlepoints of the boys' names that our friend's wife did a few weeks back. I have about a dozen other things I would have liked to do today, but this cold definitely knocked me on my butt, completely without warning.
The other big thing this weekend is that Carter is officially crawling! He's still not that good at it, but he can definitely get where he's going even if he hasn't perfected his form yet. He does crawl, but he's much more effective with launching forward, rolling, and scooting. But I definitely saw the legs moving the way they needed to, and he is now trying to get into everything. Yesterday he was going for the table hockey game, and today he had Legos as his bait. He'll also do what he can to get the remote control, my iPod, the camera, or anything else off-limits. He's still working on pulling up on the Incrediblock, but he's definitely getting much better at standing up there once he's up. He's very curious and determined, so we have our hands full now. The pack-n-play is going to be seeing a lot more activity now! In case you're wondering, he's about three weeks ahead of Jacob. Jacob started at 9-1/2 months, and Carter is a week shy of nine months. Hard to believe!
I'll have some videos to share soon (more of Carter's insane cuteness than crawling), but didn't have a chance to upload it yet. I also snapped a picture of Jacob to make sure he's not left out...
He played a lot with his Legos today, which was good, and the guys had a short stint outside, too. It took Jacob so long to get himself ready that they barely got it in before it was dark out!
So, it was a busy weekend with a couple firsts and plenty of other events to keep us busy. Next weekend should be interesting, too, but we have another long week ahead before that. Wish us luck...
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Carter Health Update
With all that's been going on with Jacob, Carter's issues have definitely fallen by the wayside a bit. Of course, it helps immensely that he's a ridiculously happy baby and you'd never know anything was up with him. As you may recall, back in August and early September, we had issues where he was projectile vomiting his bedtime bottle after eating a helping of rice cereal earlier in the evening. I did a bunch of research online to see what I could find out, and the only thing I could find was something called FPIES. It's basically a food protein intolerance issue. It's not an allergy that would cause anaphylaxis, but rather the body simply can't process the food and rejects it. There were lots of scary stories online about kids who vomited violently, ended up in the emergency room, and some who went into shock. While I didn't necessarily think Carter was in that category, it was scary that it could happen.
For those first few weeks I was very slow and deliberate about introducing new foods because I was scared that he would react to those as well. I purposely avoided other grains since there was a chance he'd have reactions to those, too. But we've done a lot of fruits and vegetables, along with meats. So far there have been no reactions, though meats tend to give him brutal constipation. He doesn't seem super uncomfortable, mind you (see: ridiculously happy baby), but it's heartbreaking to see him push periodically and have nothing come out, and it's a bit messy dealing with what comes out once he finally breaks through.
He seems to like eating well enough, but I feel like he's a bit behind right now when it comes to eating in general. Initially I was definitely a bit slower in bringing in new foods, and I often kept the volume down because I didn't want to overload him--both because I was afraid too much of a potential trigger food might make the reaction worse, and because I didn't want to fill his belly too much before his night bottle. That's still his main source of nutrition, and given his history of spitting up, I also didn't want to overfill him between the two. It's a tough balance to find a good time to feed him without spoiling other meals. Add in his medicine that needs to be administered on an empty stomach 30 minutes before eating, and it gets extra complicated.
Because he's been sort of slow to get into the food, I feel like he's not eating as much as most kids. I cringe a little bit when I see the bowl of food that a kid at daycare eats, and he's only a month older (but much bigger!). It's probably three times more than what Carter has ever eaten. I looked at an online guide to solid foods, and he's definitely eating considerably less than most kids his age. To make matters worse, I can't seem to get him to eat true solid food to save my life. The purees are fine, though he seems less sure about carrots, as they seem to make him gag a bit. One day I cooked him up a few peas. I even shelled them so he had the tiny little pea pieces, and gave him one. He gagged on it and nearly threw up. The other night we had baked potatoes so I picked off a couple small pieces of plain potato and put one in his mouth. He gummed it for a bit, but again, he gagged on it and ended up bringing back up some of his carrots and chicken in the process. I felt so bad for him! So now I'm stumped and worried that he's got a gag reflex problem. Ever hear of those people whose kids won't eat anything because of texture issues and how they'll literally gag on everything until they throw up? I'm not saying he's going to be one of those kids, but now I'm worried that he's at least a little extra sensitive to it. Of all the million things I blogged about when Jacob was a baby, I don't think I ever posted in detail how I got Jacob to learn how to chew and swallow solid food. Probably because you can't actually teach it and they just need to figure it out. I know Jacob had a few choking/gagging episodes over the years, but I don't remember them being quite like Carter's, which are actually a little scary. He gags, turns red, and then eventually gets it up...perhaps with other contents of his stomach. I've tried two of the softest things I can think of, and it still happened. So now I'm nervous and I have no idea what to try next.
Anyway...back to the original point of this post. Yesterday morning Carter and I went to the allergist to chat about my suspicions. I've been to this doctor before, more than two years ago when I tried to do something about my missing sense of smell and taste. He was great, and I hope to sometime soon go back and start getting allergy shots. He did confirm today that I wouldn't need additional testing to start, so that's good news. Anyway, my goal for the meeting was to see if we could get a diagnosis, test for anything concrete, and get an action plan for introducing new things without torturing Carter. All in all, it went well. I gave the doctor the history, and they ended up doing a handful of skin tests on him. He barely flinched when they did it. They tested for a bunch of grains, as well as milk and soy, given his experience with the cow's milk protein issue. All of the tests came back negative, meaning he's not allergic to anything. That's good news, but it's a totally separate issue from the rice intolerance. They can't really test for the intolerances, so we pretty much have to avoid rice for the next few years, then go into the office for a reintroduction test. They want him there to treat him just in case his reaction is severe. He did say, however, that the odds of him having issues with other grains would be rare so we're free to give it a shot. I'm still nervous, but I guess we'll just have to try and wear drop cloths! He also said that it's probably not FPIES, as most of those kids have very severe reactions, but that it is an FPIES-like reaction in that it operates along the same lines.
So...the tricky part is that rice is one thing Jacob can eat, so I'll be making some double meals once in a while. Rice flour is in a lot of gluten-free stuff, so it's going to be a tough balance. But Carter will outgrow this, and just like with Celiac, it's not an allergy...so as long as my child's life is not at risk, I'll deal! The stinky thing is that there are an awful lot of baby foods that include rice. From baby food meals to Gerber Puffs and Baby Mum Mum biscuits, a lot of previous go-to stuff is out. And that's assuming there are no other intolerances like wheat or oats. It's going to be a challenge, but we'll figure it out.
One day at a time is becoming quite the mantra around here...
For those first few weeks I was very slow and deliberate about introducing new foods because I was scared that he would react to those as well. I purposely avoided other grains since there was a chance he'd have reactions to those, too. But we've done a lot of fruits and vegetables, along with meats. So far there have been no reactions, though meats tend to give him brutal constipation. He doesn't seem super uncomfortable, mind you (see: ridiculously happy baby), but it's heartbreaking to see him push periodically and have nothing come out, and it's a bit messy dealing with what comes out once he finally breaks through.
He seems to like eating well enough, but I feel like he's a bit behind right now when it comes to eating in general. Initially I was definitely a bit slower in bringing in new foods, and I often kept the volume down because I didn't want to overload him--both because I was afraid too much of a potential trigger food might make the reaction worse, and because I didn't want to fill his belly too much before his night bottle. That's still his main source of nutrition, and given his history of spitting up, I also didn't want to overfill him between the two. It's a tough balance to find a good time to feed him without spoiling other meals. Add in his medicine that needs to be administered on an empty stomach 30 minutes before eating, and it gets extra complicated.
Because he's been sort of slow to get into the food, I feel like he's not eating as much as most kids. I cringe a little bit when I see the bowl of food that a kid at daycare eats, and he's only a month older (but much bigger!). It's probably three times more than what Carter has ever eaten. I looked at an online guide to solid foods, and he's definitely eating considerably less than most kids his age. To make matters worse, I can't seem to get him to eat true solid food to save my life. The purees are fine, though he seems less sure about carrots, as they seem to make him gag a bit. One day I cooked him up a few peas. I even shelled them so he had the tiny little pea pieces, and gave him one. He gagged on it and nearly threw up. The other night we had baked potatoes so I picked off a couple small pieces of plain potato and put one in his mouth. He gummed it for a bit, but again, he gagged on it and ended up bringing back up some of his carrots and chicken in the process. I felt so bad for him! So now I'm stumped and worried that he's got a gag reflex problem. Ever hear of those people whose kids won't eat anything because of texture issues and how they'll literally gag on everything until they throw up? I'm not saying he's going to be one of those kids, but now I'm worried that he's at least a little extra sensitive to it. Of all the million things I blogged about when Jacob was a baby, I don't think I ever posted in detail how I got Jacob to learn how to chew and swallow solid food. Probably because you can't actually teach it and they just need to figure it out. I know Jacob had a few choking/gagging episodes over the years, but I don't remember them being quite like Carter's, which are actually a little scary. He gags, turns red, and then eventually gets it up...perhaps with other contents of his stomach. I've tried two of the softest things I can think of, and it still happened. So now I'm nervous and I have no idea what to try next.
Anyway...back to the original point of this post. Yesterday morning Carter and I went to the allergist to chat about my suspicions. I've been to this doctor before, more than two years ago when I tried to do something about my missing sense of smell and taste. He was great, and I hope to sometime soon go back and start getting allergy shots. He did confirm today that I wouldn't need additional testing to start, so that's good news. Anyway, my goal for the meeting was to see if we could get a diagnosis, test for anything concrete, and get an action plan for introducing new things without torturing Carter. All in all, it went well. I gave the doctor the history, and they ended up doing a handful of skin tests on him. He barely flinched when they did it. They tested for a bunch of grains, as well as milk and soy, given his experience with the cow's milk protein issue. All of the tests came back negative, meaning he's not allergic to anything. That's good news, but it's a totally separate issue from the rice intolerance. They can't really test for the intolerances, so we pretty much have to avoid rice for the next few years, then go into the office for a reintroduction test. They want him there to treat him just in case his reaction is severe. He did say, however, that the odds of him having issues with other grains would be rare so we're free to give it a shot. I'm still nervous, but I guess we'll just have to try and wear drop cloths! He also said that it's probably not FPIES, as most of those kids have very severe reactions, but that it is an FPIES-like reaction in that it operates along the same lines.
So...the tricky part is that rice is one thing Jacob can eat, so I'll be making some double meals once in a while. Rice flour is in a lot of gluten-free stuff, so it's going to be a tough balance. But Carter will outgrow this, and just like with Celiac, it's not an allergy...so as long as my child's life is not at risk, I'll deal! The stinky thing is that there are an awful lot of baby foods that include rice. From baby food meals to Gerber Puffs and Baby Mum Mum biscuits, a lot of previous go-to stuff is out. And that's assuming there are no other intolerances like wheat or oats. It's going to be a challenge, but we'll figure it out.
One day at a time is becoming quite the mantra around here...
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