(Dis)connected

So, I'm not going to lie...I LOVE my new netbook. Sure, it's small and it's lacking a few bells and whistles because it's got Windows 7 Starter Edition. That edition is standard to most netbooks, but missing some random things, like the ability to change the wallpaper. But I don't mind because I already knew that stuff going in, and ultimately the small size is a huge plus. It's even better now that I got a mouse I love to go with it--it has a tiny little USB, no wire, and it will work on the arm of the chair!--so I don't have to battle the touchpad anymore AND I can play mind-numbing games like Bejeweled Blitz and Zuma Blitz with ease.

But I probably like my netbook a little too much. I hop on it quickly when I'm cooking dinner, and eagerly look forward to Jacob's bedtime so Craig and I can settle in, catch up on some TV, and surf the web. That's not to say that I don't cherish the time Jacob is awake. I'm not specifically wishing that Jacob would go to bed as much as I am looking forward to some "me" time. And after a long day of work, cooking dinner, and whatever else, turning off my body and brain for a bit always sounds nice. And it probably sounds nicer than trying to play hockey with Jacob or understanding his setup of his hockey guys on their rink. It's not that I want to do those things, but they're considerably more challenging.

Jacob is a unique kid. He's awesome and amazing and very intelligent, but he's a kid that knows what he wants and is determined to get it. He cannot be easily swayed. He's very particular about a lot of things. I know a lot of kids are, but there are days that I wonder if he's not just that much weirder. I've wondered more than once if he's got a pinky toe into the autistic spectrum, which sounds awful to say, but as a pessimistic parent, sometimes your brain goes there. When your kid repeatedly feels the need to get his hockey guys in a certain setup before he goes to bed, or repeats things over and over, or brings up a random, fleeting memory out of the blue six months later, you start to wonder. He's a social kid and he's met his milestones all along, so I'm sure he's fine, but his obsession with sports and general one-track mind (and the tantrums that occur when we try to deviate) prove to be challenging and once in a while I truly wonder what's going on in that head of his. We know he's very smart, but there are a lot of different types of smart.

All that said, it makes playing with him a little exhausting. When we play hockey or lacrosse, he's got a lot of rules about who uses which stick, who plays which position, or which ball or puck we can use ("No, that's a hockey ball!"), so just getting to the point of playing can be a challenge. And often before we get to that point, he's gone off on some other tangent and I'm standing there waiting...at which point my brain heads off to some other task I should be doing. And no, that shouldn't happen. I should be engaged with my child and his playing. But I get distracted, he gets distracted, and it all falls apart. And even when we do play, I'm constantly a bit a nervous about whether or not this is the time that an errant ball (no matter how soft) glances off the lamp or if this is the day he's strong enough to dent the wall. It's just easier to play with Jacob outside than in, and during the winter we're just stuck. Of course, outside it often isn't much better, since I spend most of the playtime chasing balls down the driveway...but still, it's far more interactive and there's less to distract me outside...though, believe me, the weeds do!

I do want to play with him, but inevitably it just doesn't happen as much as I'd like. First of all, I don't see him too much. We have a few short hours in the evenings, and between dinner, cleanup, and any other tasks I'm desperate to get done before I get too tired, our time is limited. All of a sudden it's bedtime and I'm feeling bad for not spending more time with him. Craig does hang out with him in the evenings quite a bit, which I think is good since he works so many weekends and doesn't get that time to spend with him. And if I haven't already mentioned it, Jacob has turned into a really great independent player. He will shoot pucks into his net, kick his soccer ball, or just sit with his hockey guys for quite a while. If he happens to be up in his room, he will also sit and read. He's been so good lately that a couple weeks ago I left him in the house alone while I went out to shovel the driveway, which needed to get done right then and there. Normally I wait until Jacob's asleep and take the monitor outside, but that night we were leaving for Buffalo and I couldn't put Jacob to bed ahead of time. He could have easily knocked on the door or window to catch my attention if he needed me, but yes, I know it was a bit of a risk. It's not something I will be doing often, but when Craig is working or out of town, sometimes I have to stretch things a bit. But he did great, and I so appreciate his ability to amuse himself when needed. And I suppose that ability makes it even easier to just let him play. If he's content, why disturb him?

I'll admit that I've always had problems understanding the brains of kids who are playing imaginatively. I'm sure anyone trying to play with me as a kid would have had much the same problem. Kids' brains are so random sometimes that the craziest thing seems logical. And while you can always go along with it to some degree, there always seems to be a point where they're obviously fine with their rules and their ideas, and adult interference is only going to dampen the mood. I can follow Jacob's lead, yes, but if I touch the wrong guy, he'll let me know it. And I guess that's why I have a hard time playing hockey guys with Jacob. Maybe I'll find it easier if I have a girl someday and I help her learn to play dolls. I've done that before, so maybe I'll find it easier. I'm not sure, but I certainly hope so. But in the meantime, it's part of the reason I'm hesitant to break into Jacob's games with his hockey guys. I'm simply not sure what to do.

So, in the meantime I just have to hope that his solo playing and the games his vivid imagination creates will teach him valuable skills. And yes, I do have to work harder at playing with Jacob. I need to put down the computer, put down the dish rag, and force myself to stay awake and do that other stuff later. For the time I'm with him I need to be more involved, more engaged, and more excited about what he's doing. I definitely enjoy watching him, so I probably should enjoy actually interacting with him so much more. Don't you think?

Losing It

I had an entirely different post ready to go earlier today, but the events that took place at the end of the day today pre-empted that. It's been a rough few hours. This morning when I took Jacob into daycare, they expressed concern that a cold sore he'd had since last week looked considerably worse and crusty today, enough so that they thought he had impetigo. They called and reiterated their concern this afternoon, and I finally called the doctor and got an appointment. Of course, he'd just been there last Thursday, when Craig took him in to get a quick check. There was strep running through his class, and between his healing leg, the cold sore, and some other circumstantial evidence (like being quiet during the day), we figured it was worth a check. Well, I guess they didn't see anything amiss, because they didn't even do a strep test. Today we went in, and I suffered through a rough start to our wait (Jacob was in a hitting mood), a half hour in the very busy waiting room, and a return to his nastiness when we finally got in to see the doc. She didn't think the cold sore was impetigo, though she did decide to do a strep test, just in case. When she came back in the room, she said it was negative. As we chatted a bit about the cold sore, she looked down at the vial in her hand, and said, "Oh, look at that...it's positive!" It literally turned while she was standing there. So Jacob has strep. It only took about three tries, maybe four...and this time that wasn't even why we went there!

I guess I'll mention here that Craig came home early today after getting a sore throat last night. He's feeling horrible, and then later this afternoon I noticed that I had a headache and just started feeling a little foggy. I had a vague discomfort in my throat, but I couldn't figure out if it was a true sore throat or if it was just a cut or sore in my mouth making things uncomfortable. I'm still not sure...but I'm concerned that Tylenol isn't really putting a dent in the headache. We'll see how I feel by tomorrow. Craig is probably going to stay home again with Jacob tomorrow for his first day on antibiotics, but this whole week could be a lost cause. Between Jacob's health, Craig's health, my health, and the snowstorm that's predicted for tomorrow into Wednesday, it could be a rough one work-wise.

So, by the time we were done at the doctor, it was shortly before 7pm. My headache was bothering me, I had to pee, Jacob was being awful again, it was way past dinner time, and we still had to survive a trip to Wegmans to get his antibiotics. UGH. I had a few things to get while we waited, and as we shopped it seemed to me that Jacob was getting tired. I asked him if he was tired, and he said no, and literally 15 seconds later his eyes were drooping and his head was bobbing. He rested his head on his arm on the cart handle and slept through the last 15 minutes in the store. Thank God. We both needed that. But as I was standing in one of the many long lines waiting to check out, I nearly lost it. I was so uncomfortable, so tired, so frustrated, and the long line was just one more barrier to just getting home. And I still had to figure out dinner. It was one of those moments that, back in the days before I was a mom, I might have just shut down and wanted to cry. But as a parent, you learn that doing stuff like that just won't get you anywhere. You have to be the strong one and push through, because if you don't, nothing will get done and everything will fall apart. It was such a frustrating moment. I hate those moments.

But I pushed through, got home, figured out dinner, and got Jacob into bed. I'm still not feeling great and it could be a rough few days around here, but hopefully I'll find a way to push through once again, and we'll be back to normal soon. Wish us luck...

Weekend Stuff

We're into the next phase of Jacob's healing. Thursday night we took off Jacob's bandage. This is what it looked like before. There's a clear plastic bandage completely covering the gauze.
Jacob did not enjoy the removal. It didn't seem quite as adhesive as your typical band-aid (or at least, not so much sticky residue), but it did hurt a bit as I eased it off. The bottm layer of gauze stuck, so we ended up with a square of white woven pieces covering it. Over the course of the next half hour or so, I picked away at it gently, trying to loosen up pieces slowly and painlessly. Finally, I got it all, and it ended up looking like this:

What you see are the steri-strips they told us about. They're basically stuck to his leg and there's a little bit of blood under there. Over the last couple days it's turned blue from his jeans, and eventually it will fall off. We'll have to treat it with neosporin (actually, polysporin) until we go to his followup appointment in another week. So far so good, though. He hasn't expressed too much discomfort, so hopefully this will be a mere blip on the radar.

Last night we headed out to the Amerks game, which ended up being a pretty fun night. It was Hall of Fame night, and two people were honored. Our longtime friend and co-worker, Don Stevens, the Amerks' broadcaster, was inducted, as well as former player Doug Houda. Houda's induction was actually a little funny, because Jacob has been afraid of him for a while. During his playing days his face could have been considered a bit haunting...a little gaunt, missing teeth, etc. He's on an old commercial that still plays on Amerks' broadcasts, and for some reason he creeps Jacob out. The mere mention of him scared Jacob, even though we kept telling him that Doug Houda was a nice guy. He did get to meet him, and even got a signed puck. It was also a bobblehead night, so Jacob had a good time. I enjoyed the night as well, since a lot of familiar faces came for the big night. It was great seeing some old co-workers and being able to stop and chat with a bunch of people for the first time in a while. Over the five years since I left, the number of people I recognize has decreased considerably. But last night there were a lot of people I knew, and the nearly full stands were more reminiscent of the old days. Almost felt like home again.

This morning I was determined to go to the zoo. Jacob had mentioned it the other day, and I thought it was a good idea since we hadn't been there in a while and had never been there in the cold. It was also the one orangutan's birthday, so I thought it might be a fun day to go. Craig had to work, so I thought it would be a good way to spend the morning. The weather was also cooperative, light flurries with temps around 30. Pleasant enough! We bundled up and headed out. It was a little hard pushing the stroller through some of the slush and snow, but the lack of people made up for it and it was a nice visit. All of the docents were out and eager to share information about the animals. The monkey cages were full of celebratory stuff like crepe paper, and Jacob got to "sign" a poster for Datu. I only took a couple pictures, but here are my two favorites--one of the sea lion, who was barking up a storm, and another of a golden lion tamarin.
Jacob was really good and seemed content to stay in his stroller most of the time. He was really afraid of the snakes this time, which was unfortunate because there was actually something interesting going on with them today. One of the big snakes (HUGE) had shed a ridiculous amount of skin, which even I found fascinating. Jacob wouldn't even look. Same with a smaller snake in another building. The polar bears were out, the sea lions were active, the otters weren't out (again), and the monkeys were fun to watch. One of the exotic birds in the open air aviary was loudly flying back and forth. There was a lot to see! He fell asleep minutes after leaving and did put up a bit of a fight later on for his real nap (always does when he gets a catnap), but overall it's been a good day. We're headed out shortly to the Knighthawks game and I'm guessing it will be an early night based on today's napping schedule. Still, it's been a good day. Craig's off tomorrow and we can't wait!

Have a nice weekend!

How to Make an Incompetent Mommy

There is one activity that inevitably makes me feel like an incompetent and inadequate mother. Every. Single. Time. What, you ask? Two words--Grocery Shopping. For so many reasons, grocery shopping is starting to make me crazy. A few years ago, I liked grocery shopping. Back when I was first on my own, grocery shopping was fun and exciting. Even if my normal menu wasn't exciting, it always had the potential to be. I could buy what I wanted, cook what I wanted, and experiment on myself without fear. I was less concerned about purely healthy foods and just made what made sense for me. Once I was cooking for two, it became a little more complicated. Craig doesn't like a lot of vegetables, which takes away some options for stir-fries and things like that. We can only eat so much broccoli and corn, you know? But still, I think over the past nine-plus years that we've been together we've managed to eat relatively well. Lacking in vegetables and stuff, but the food has been good and relatively healthy.

Once Jacob started eating real food, I got a little crazy. I didn't want to put any crap into his perfect little body, so I tried to avoid junk food. I tried to keep things as simple as possible. But I've slacked over time...not badly, but more than I would like. I read things here and there about stuff that people feed their kids. One blogger in particular gives her kid everything...to the point that I can't even believe he'll eat it. Sardines?! Yeah. I've always tried offering Jacob whatever we're eating, but even the most simple stuff he won't touch...hamburger, potatoes, pierogies, even chicken at times. He'll usually eat broccoli or corn like his father, and actually likes tomatoes, too, but he's so hit and miss on things that it's hard to know what's going to work-for me, for him, or for Craig. Jacob's menu usually floats between PB&J, chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, spaghetti, noodles, cheese, and assorted fruit and snacks. It's ok and probably better than some kids, but it's just not that wholesome. I'm running out of ideas.

So why does shopping turn me into an incompetent mother? Well, it's a two-pronged problem. On one hand, I wander around the store wishing I could try new things, but knowing that the two picky eaters in the house won't go for it. I wander past the produce, longing to eat the vegetables. I stare down the meat, but don't know how to cook it. All the while, I'm looking at an eternal supply of processed foods. I pass by the worst of them without a problem, but usually end up settling on a few of them that make my life easier...pasta side dishes, frozen veggies with light sauces, frozen meals for lunch and dinner, pre-cooked chicken strips, and other similar products. I can't afford organic, and am more confused than ever when it comes to the pros and cons of reduced fat/sugar/calorie products that might make me skinny on one hand but screw me up in a different way with chemicals or unnatural additives. I feel like I'm feeding Jacob a bunch of crap, and I'm not doing Craig or myself any favors with our weight loss goals. It could be worse, but each trip to the store is a grim reminder that it's not as good as it should be.

On the other hand, going to the store with Jacob is almost always a disaster. He used to be really great at the store. He'd sit in the cart contentedly, enjoying the ride. Now he screams, sings loudly, kicks off his shoes, hits me, kicks me, tries to suck on the shopping cart, grabs things on the shelves, and begs to get down, go home, get a drink, etc. I've decided that I need to stop letting him have his free Wegmans Kids' Club cookie when we go, because it seems he's that much worse when he eats one. Instead I'll listen to him complain that he wants one, but it's worth a shot. And when he's so out of control, what recourse do I have? If I'm there in the first place I'm most likely in no position to walk out of the store like the experts suggest. I'm not going to spank him in the middle of the store, and there's really no way to do a timeout. Threatening to take away toys at home doesn't work. I can't yell. As a result I have to stay relatively calm, which you'd think would keep him calm, but no such luck. It's brutal.

Last night was a prime example. Often we have to go grocery shopping on our way home from daycare pickup, and it always leads to a later dinner. Still, Jacob isn't a generally hungry kid, so that usually isn't a problem. But inevitably he turns into the most frustrating shopping partner, and we're usually there far longer than I'd like to be, partly because I'm spending time putting Jacob's boots back on for the third time or running back to move the cart before he grabs something from the shelves. I have to shush his screams or take extra time to read labels because he breaks my concentration. People probably watch me try to control him and just shake their heads. I feel like I have no control, and it turns me into someone I don't even like. It just bugs me to no end. We need to be there, and I've always been trying to get Jacob used to mundane tasks like that so he can do them without incident. But almost every time, it's a mess.

I wish this post had a happy ending with lists of new foods we can try or new tactics for controlling him, but right now I don't have that. I can hope that the cookie is the difference, but that's unfortunate in and of itself. What more can I do? Try, try again.

Photography

So, a couple months ago I walked into daycare and there were pictures of kids all over the front bulletin boards. I scanned them and finally found the most adorable picture of Jacob...one like I had been wanting to catch for a couple years now. Alas, we have very few leaves in our yard now so who knows when I'll personally grab one like this! As Christmas approached, the pictures were taken down and I wondered what became of the photo. But it finally showed up in Jacob's mailbox sometime around Christmas. I was pretty psyched.

And now, thanks to a computer equipment free-for-all at work, I now have a scanner with which to scan it. I'm pretty excited about that, because just the other night I was thinking about the cool pictures I have from about 15 years of using a film camera that haven't had the chance to be part of my digital frame slideshows or used as my wallpaper.

Obviously most of them are so far removed from the focus of this blog that I don't think it will enhance this space very much, but sometimes it is fun to reminisce about the cool things I did do before getting married and/or having a child. With Jacob as my main focus most of the time, I tend to forget that life before him had some great moments too. Even before Craig, for that matter. Last week I was thinking about the trip I took to Quebec City 15 years ago. It took place on MLK weekend, and in the midst of the brutal cold we happened to have on MLK day this year, it took me back to that amazing trip--three whole days in the French Canadian world I had craved to experience. And when I was thinking about it last week, I wished I had a scanner to scan more than the one or two pictures I scanned years ago for my now-defunct website. At my old job, the Amerks' office scanner lived under my desk and I scanned quite a few pics back in the day, but in the five years since (and yes, the majority of that time I've owned a digital camera so it hasn't mattered), I haven't had access to one and therefore many of my older pictures sit forgotten. But literally a day or two after wishing I had one, the email went out that some old equipment in my office was free for the taking, and voila...we have a scanner.

That said, I still believe wholeheartedly in my hard-copy photo albums. I love looking through old albums--my own and others'--and think it's sad that they're going the way of the dinosaurs. I just feel like there's more permanence, and the quality of the content of those pictures isn't as diluted by random stuff as what comes from us snap-happy digital photographers these days. It had to be special to expend one of those 24 exposures on it. We just had to hope we got a good shot. That said, I do like that I can capture the perfect photo and lots of background detail-type photos with my digital camera without wasting film or spending another $10 on another roll and the developing. I love that I can print four times as many pictures for the same price now, and take dozens more at no additional cost. I wouldn't change a thing about the digital era. But there's something special about those old pictures and I hope someday Jacob can enjoy them as much as I've enjoyed my parents' old albums.

However, I do know the reality. He'll have more opportunity to see digital shots than anything else, and I think that's why having the scanner will be great. I can scan some of my favorite shots and have them available for him to see among all of our newer pictures. We did have a life in pictures prior to August of 2006, and I want to make sure it's well-represented in the ones I browse through periodically. Still, it's amazing to think that Jacob will never live in a world of film cameras, where we had to wait days or weeks (or months!) to see how a picture turned out, where printed photos and albums will be scarce, and where nearly every significant moment of his life will be well-documented. Amazing how times have changed.

Photo Tuesday

Just a few miscellaneous pictures from the past few days. Here's a cute one from Sunday morning, when Jacob woke up in the crib at my parents' house and took off his pajamas while I was getting ready. And then he made them into a "hat".

This is an igloo Jacob made at daycare. It's made out of a styrofoam cup, shaving cream, marshmallows and sugar cubes. Interesting. Even more interesting is that the shaving cream is still soft, but with a rubbery film on the outside so it doesn't get all over. I keep wondering what will happen to it if we let it sit out long enough.

The other night I made Jacob a potty chart. I decided that I'd see if stickers were enough of a lure to get him to start using the potty again. He had pretty much totally given it up at home, and I don't really want to push it for fear he'll really rebel against it. But he likes the thought of stickers, and Sunday night he earned three! Then last night he earned two! He gets one for telling us he has to go (but only if he actually goes), another for peeing, another for poop, and then one for pulling his pants on and off and another for wiping himself. Those last two will come later. I slipped the paper into a plastic sleeve and hung it up with suction cups (thanks Mom!)...easy to access and keep clean! But I think it turned out cute. If he fills in all the squares in a category, he'll get a yet-to-be-determined treat. The stickers are mostly sports-related (shocker) but eventually we'll have to dig into the cars and trucks, too...or maybe a miracle will happen and he'll get pottytrained before then! When I took the picture he had three basketballs, a baseball, a tennis ball, and a catcher's mask. Then last night he added a pool ball and another different kind of basketball. I think two poops in two days constitutes some sort of victory, but I do worry about burning out the fun of it before he's truly ready to train. With a house full of carpets I refuse to do naked training, at least until summer, and he still seems to have a mental block on why all of this matters. If he CAN poop on the potty and likes the attention and stickers that come with it, why hide in the corner to do it? Even last night I happened to catch him early in the poop when I heard grunting. He did have a rabbit turd-sized poop in his diaper when we took it off, but he put considerably more than that into the potty. So the question remains of why he refuses to use the potty more on his own, at least not consistently, when he wants to wear big boy underwear and get stickers. I do explain to him that it's hard work and he needs to earn those privileges, so hopefully like everything else, one day it will sink in. I've said for a while that I wouldn't start panicking until he was three and wasn't showing much interest, but it occurred to me this morning that he's past the two and a half mark, so three isn't that far away. Yikes!

And now for the surgery series...here's Jacob's leg pre-surgery. You can see the mole very well here.

Here he is before he went in, wearing his gown and being silly. He was trying to play baseball in this tiny space. He got his relaxation medicine and ended up stumbling backward into the wall shortly after this, at which point we tried to keep him in bed. He almost fell out right before he went in. He was all relaxed and had just watched his favorite Elmo clip on YouTube, and I got up to put away the computer and clear the rest of the miscellaneous stuff off the bed, and apparently he decided he wanted to get up. Craig caught him before he hit the floor. Thank God. Crazy kid.

Here he is being a big boy at home, sitting on the couch by himself with his juice and snack, animals at his side, watching a movie. Cute kid.

We ended up having a pretty pleasant day. We watched a couple movies (one exclusively for Jacob, the other enjoyable for all of us--"Miracle", about the 1980 US Olympic team), Jacob took a decent nap (and so did Craig and I, at different times), and we just sort of hung out, ate a couple meals at home, and played (Craig and I on our computers, and Jacob with his hockey guys and sports stuff). He only complained about his leg once, around dinner time and long after his initial pain meds would have worn off. I have continued to give him some pain medication ever since, just in case. He might say his leg isn't bothering him, but anything with kids can change in an instant. And if he's stuck at daycare all day, I'd rather prevent any issues. I have a feeling MY leg would be bothering me if I had something like that done, let alone his as he runs laps back and forth across the living room. I'll probably continue through the night tonight and stop tomorrow morning.

I'm already not looking forward to pulling the outside bandage off on Thursday, but I am quite curious to see what everything looks like under there. I'll try to post pics of the bandaging and scar at some point. Regardless of the scar, I'd have to think it will look considerably less menacing than that mole. I suppose I'm extra sensitive about moles in general, since I've been self-conscious about them. I have one between my mouth and my nose, as well as one on my wrist that I've spent the last 20 or so years covering up with a watch. I used to get a lot of questions from friends about the one on my wrist, as it is pretty large, and the one on my face has always been an issue for me--so much so that I had it airbrushed out of my high school senior pictures. However, I never got up the guts to have either of them removed. Sometimes I wonder what the point is, now that I'm past the teasing phase and have a husband who readily married me as is, but there are days that I wonder if a tiny scar would be preferable to what's currently on my face, as I sometimes think it makes me asymmetrical and can be generally distracting. But at this point in my life, would taking it off make me less "me"? Hard to say. I do wonder sometimes if I'd feel more attractive without it, though. But all that said, I'm happy Jacob's is gone since he won't have to worry about it at all, ever. That's not to say more won't show up, but for now, it's an issue he'll never have to deal with. His situation was more about health than vanity, of course, but it's a nice bonus that we won't have to look at it anymore and wonder.

And off we go on another week...and another busy weekend for Craig, though only two games this weekend instead of three and/or a road trip. Better than nothing :)

Surgery

Well, he's in and we're waiting. And I'm sure this post will be interrupted by having to go back in to see him. So far it's been an ok morning. Early, for sure, though we did go to bed at a reasonable time. It was ridiculously cold this morning, probably right around zero when we left the house. A lot of the schools are closed today due to low wind chills. Jacob had a tough time waking up, but was in a good enough mood. He would have much rather stayed home and played with his hockey guys, but no such luck. We got up and out of the house by 6:50, and here by a couple minutes after our 7:15 check-in time. We got in, waited a couple minutes in the waiting room (during which I figured out the wireless--I love the URMC wireless. I'm not sure I would have survived the week after Jacob was born without it), and then were ushered back to a stall with his bed. He got some trucks, put up a major fuss getting into his gown ("My pants! "My shoes!" "I want to wear my baseball shirt!"), and then we just hung out for a while. He was very squirmy and didn't really want to hang out in the bed. He was hyper enough that they gave him some pink medicine to dope him up a bit. It made him tired and a little clumsy, and took the edge off enough that he didn't freak out when he was wheeled away. Maybe I could have used some of that. No tears, but I feel like I'm on the verge. And the longer we wait here, the more nervous I'm going to get. It's only a short procedure, after all.

Ok, and just on cue, the surgeon came out. He was fine, no surprises. We'll get to go in and see him shortly.

Anyway, he got to pick one animal to take with him, and he picked "Mommy's Moose"--my moose, Loosey Moosey (LooMoo for short), that Craig gave me when I got my wisdom teeth out. Although I was hesitant, I decided it was appropriate. After all, he was my comfort when I wasn't feeling great, and now he could be Jacob's. And a little piece of me could go into the OR with him. It was hard to see him wheeled away, and while it was good that he was doped up enough to not cry, that made it hard in another way. He helplessly watched us as he was wheeled away.

Now I'm starting to wonder why they're not calling us in to see him. It was only supposed to be a few minutes, and now it's been about 10. I'm sure it's fine, but it's just a little added nervousness to an already nerve-wracking situation. They said that the drug they gave him might make him come out of the anethesia slower, which is always scary. Sitting out here makes me wonder if it's taking considerably longer than they hoped. And more than anything, I'd hate for him to wake up without us. But here we sit.

So, it took a lot longer than we expected, but we finally got in. It's now 11:30 and we're home. He took extra long to wake up from the anesthesia, which I guess is normal with the stuff they gave him before they put him out. I guess he got really relaxed! Probably needed some extra sleep after his early morning, too :) He was fine when we went in, tired but calm. He got a little less calm once we started trying to get his coat on, and he freaked out most of the way home about one thing or another. But after another freakout once we got here, he's been fine. We put on a movie, got him some juice and a snack, and he had the couch all to himself for quite a while. Craig has joined him now, and he seems normal. His leg may still be a little numb, but he's walking okay considering he's got a gouge out of his leg. It's all bandaged up and will stay that way for another three days, and then the bandages underneath will fall off on their own. We'll treat it with Neosporin after that, and go in for a follow-up in two weeks. I'm sure we'll find out the results of the labwork then, which will hopefully show no sign of irregular cells.

Well, all is back to normal, as Jacob is now swinging his mini-bat and running up and down the living room. Seriously?! Only Jacob. Perhaps the hardest part of this is going to be keeping him from running himself ragged. And that is a fantastic problem to have.