Back to the Grind...

From the moment I left my office shortly after lunchtime on December 23rd, I knew this day would come all too fast. And sure enough, here I am back at work on January 3rd, still wishing I was off and doing pretty much anything else besides catching up on work and running into the usual work-related problems. Ugh. But I will say that the 10 days didn't fly by quite as quickly as I expected. I mean, usually week-long vacations fly by in an instant, and when I'm driving into work on my first day back, it feels like I never had a break. Today it felt like I hadn't done it in a while, which was nice. Even still, it felt all too familiar. But I know that I packed a lot into my time off, and some of the lazy-ish days that we spent just hanging out at my parents' house with the Portland contingent probably made the time stretch a bit. Without constant plans, the days just moved at a consistent pace, rather than flying by like vacation days tend to. And feeling not-so-great on New Year's Day forced me to spend a good portion of that day doing next to nothing, so I'm sure that contributed as well.

Regardless of how much or how little time I spend away, it's never enough. Too little time and I'm desperate for more, and too much time and I start to get pretty contented with spending time with Jacob and being productive around the house. Or perhaps it's just that I start to be productive and realize the dozens of other projects I'd really like to work on, too. And I do realize that my time off was nothing like the life of a stay-at-home mom. I had all of our holiday fun at the beginning, lots of help for the middle, then a day of daycare and a day with Craig around, and then a couple days of mostly quiet time at home. I know that if I stayed at home every day, it would be a lot harder and I wouldn't have quite the same freedom and the opportunities to break it up like I did over the past week or so. However, I still maintain that I am made to be a part-time stay-at-home mom. Oh, to always know that the day after a workday was a day off...rather than always considering the weekend my next possible chance to do anything productive. It's not that I can't do things in the evening--I do--but it's hard to get everything going at the same time most of the time. To get uninterrupted time, things generally have to happen after Jacob's in bed, which is usually by 9ish. Then I need to have the energy to do it, and no other day-to-day tasks that monopolize my time, or even cut away at it in chunks...because before I know it, I'm left with a short period of time before bed, and there's no sense starting a big project then, lest I get too involved and stay up way too late. I know that stay-at-home moms don't have uninterrupted time during the day either, save for naptime (which is all too tempting to use for a mommy nap as well), but the mere physical proximity to the house itself has to increase the odds of getting something done, even if it is all of those little tasks that normally chip away at my evening block, like dishes, coupon cutting, or bill paying. And if those things are done, then at least I could do what I like with my evenings. But in the meantime, I stare at the insurmountable list of shows on our DVR and wonder when I'm going to have the time and patience to start putting away the Christmas stuff--which, incidentally, I'm getting the urge to do much earlier than usual. Normally I'm completely content leaving stuff up until at least mid-January, but for some reason (the desire to find all of Jacob's toys a permanent home, perhaps?), I'm pondering starting the great take-down sometime this week, given the time and energy to do it.

Jacob's drop-off went about as expected today. He didn't want to go to daycare. He wanted to stay home, play with his toys, and hang out with Mommy and Daddy. Who wouldn't? It was a bit of a struggle getting his coat on, and then he whined to be carried in once we got there. I practically made him chase me down the hall so I didn't have to carry him, and then he kept hugging me when it was time to go. I didn't hear any cries when I finally left, but he was distracted with trying to track down breakfast and I knew he'd probably be fine five minutes later no matter what. He did well on his one day there last week, so I hoped that would help him readjust a little more quickly as well. Still, it's never any fun to leave your child when they're begging you not to. Let's hope it means he'll be so happy to see us tonight that he'll be a complete angel. Ha.

While part of me was looking forward to getting back in the swing of things and having some sort of structure and schedule, not quite enough of me was there to make this an easy transition. I mean, yes, we will fall back into our old routine no problem, but part of me was really enjoying the time away from everything--work, daycare, schedules, etc. I know that I need a little structure, as evidenced by my inability to plan and cook decent dinners since we got back from Buffalo, but I was really enjoying having a lot of time to just relax and hang out. I guess I don't do nearly enough of it.

This year I mark my fifth anniversary at my job. That means that I now get four weeks of vacation each year. This year I actually only get 19.5 days because it's my anniversary year and the time is prorated based on my start date, but even still...that's a lot of time that I know could get used up quickly. However, I want to think long and hard about it and really find ways to utilize it in the best possible way for everyone involved...me, Jacob, Craig, and anyone else whose world I can better by being present at any given time. Whether it's actually taking those mental health days, or taking a real vacation, or just using a few for fun things I wouldn't normally get to do, I want to make the most of them. But sometimes having a day of nothing isn't such a bad thing. And now that I'm back to the daily grind, it sounds better than ever...

Christmas Rewind, Part 3

As I mentioned, even though we returned to Rochester on Tuesday night, it was not the end of our visit with John, Kristin, and Kate. They hopped in the car on Wednesday morning to come visit us and see the house. It made leaving on Tuesday so much easier! They arrived around lunch time and Jacob and I met them for lunch at a Rochester staple, Bill Gray's. Craig was working again, unfortunately. After lunch we headed back to the house and the kids went down for naps. It went a lot more smoothly than I anticipated, and it gave the adults some time to relax and chat. While the kids were sleeping, we got a visit from my Aunt Lynne, and later from Lori. The kids got in a good couple hours, and by the time they woke up, it was time for more company. My parents' friends, the Dohertys, arrived. You may remember them as the grandparents of Colin, Jacob's buddy who's a couple months younger and lives down near Philadelphia. We've had a good number of visits over the past couple years when they've been in town, the most recent back in April or so. It was quite a full house, which made me even more grateful for our gigantic living room. It's such a nice change of pace from our old one which filled up in about two seconds! While the adults chatted and watched, the kids had a little more time to enjoy one another. And thankfully, Jacob continued to share well. I was worried now that we'd be on "his turf" with all of his toys, but he did great. Here's Kate enjoying Jacob's Elmo phone, a Christmas gift from last year.
After all the company left we enjoyed a dinner of pizza, and then it was time to go. We tried to get some pictures of the kids together, and this is about as good as it got...

All in all, it was a great few days together, and I was sorry to see them end. After all, it may be a long time before we're all together again. I do hope we can find the time/money/courage to hop on a plane later this year (maybe in the fall?) to head out to Portland for a bit. I think it would be great to break up the period between now and their next trip east with a trip for us out west. We haven't been to Portland since 2006, and I'd love to go back, particularly now after seeing the kids together and getting to enjoy Kate in person now that she's, well, more of a person! The interactions were priceless and I hope they continue for any visits in the future.

On Thursday I made the tough decision to send Jacob to daycare. Originally we had been planning on doing that one day during the week so Craig and I could have a "date day", but Craig ended up having to work most of the week so that plan was out. However, the more I thought about it, the longer my to do list became. I decided that it would be best for all of us if he went to daycare and I could do the crazy running around that I needed to do. I figured that it would be a more fun day for Jacob to be able to play and see his friends, rather than being stuck in a stroller, shopping cart, or car seat all day. I also hoped it would make the transition on Monday a little easier, since he wouldn't have been totally removed from daycare for the entire holiday. We'll see how that goes tomorrow. I ended up being out and about for four hours or so. I stopped at Target (to buy a toy shelf), Babies 'R' Us (to look for a taller bathroom stool), Best Buy (to check their netbooks), the entire mall (with a number of stops in there, including one return, underwear shopping, and some bargain hunting), then DSW (I need new sneakers), Home Depot (a return, lightbulb recycling and a new furnace filter), Christmas Tree Shop (general post-Christmas curiosity), and Buy Buy Baby (the stool again). Even though I didn't buy a lot (just the stuff I needed, pretty much!), it felt like a very productive day. I also worked on getting our fall pictures sorted and printed. It was a great day, and I won't lie--it was nice to not have to worry about dragging Jacob through all those stops, getting him in and out of the car seat, or trying his patience if I spent a little extra time browsing. I also didn't have to worry about his nap. Sometimes, you just need a day like that.

Friday we had a pleasantly lazy day. We went out for Pizza Hut buffet for lunch (our weekday off staple), and had a lazy afternoon before I had to head out to the grocery store and restock our kitchen and buy things for various parties. We went to our friends' house for New Year's Eve for a kid-friendly party, and Jacob kept himself occupied playing with the other kids. Before we knew it it was later than we had planned on being there, and I desperately wanted to get Jacob home and in bed. He fell asleep in the car around 11:30 (ugh) and we made it home just in time for the countdown. We went to bed shortly thereafter, but I had a hard time sleeping as I wasn't feeling well. All week I had been incredibly nervous that we'd have a repeat of last year's new year's, where Jacob spent the day puking, so that made me extra nervous when I wasn't feeling well. I still think it was just the massive amount of food I ate at the party, rather than an illness. Dinner ended up being way later than anticipated, so it was tough to stay away from the snacks in the meantime. I think it just didn't settle quite right. Jacob woke up around 4am and showed no signs of going back to sleep, so we had little choice but to bring him in bed with us. However, that didn't help matters and I was feeling even worse by then, so I ended up sleeping in the guest room for the rest of the night. Jacob was up for at least two hours, and I'm not sure I went back to sleep until sometime in the morning, maybe around 7am. Craig had to work and I was originally planning to go to Buffalo for the day for a family party, but considering my lack of sleep and temperamental digestive system, I decided to stay home. I did take a few minutes to whip up the food I was planning on taking (no sense letting it rot here) so Aunt Lynne and Lori could take it, and later in the morning we got on the webcam to say good-bye to John, Kristin and Kate. I was hoping to get there before they left for the airport so we'd have a little more time, but no dice. Bummer.

Despite not feeling great, it wasn't a bad day. Jacob and I both took a long nap, and he spent a lot of time snuggling with me on the couch watching hockey. First a replay of the Winter Classic in Buffalo (which I explained to Jacob happened while he was still in my belly), then the Buffalo Sabres' Hall of Fame inductions, including the honoring of one of my old faves Alexander Mogilny (which I explained to Jacob made me feel old), and then this year's Winter Classic in Pittsburgh. The snuggles were great and it was nice to just have a pleasantly lazy day.

So that brings us to today. Craig's working (again) and it's been a usual Sunday. We got up for church and had our normal church difficulties. We did try sitting in church today, close to the musicians, since he seemed to like that on Christmas Eve. I warned Jacob that if he talked we'd have to leave, and shortly after the sermon started, he wouldn't shut up and we had to go to the other room. He was pretty upset, but I'm hoping he learned a lesson and will remember that if he wants to stay there, he has to keep quiet. Someday. Then we came home to play, eat lunch, and go down for nap. Jacob's been down for a little over an hour, and after he wakes up we'll start working our way toward tonight's Amerks' game. And then tomorrow our world goes back to normal...work, daycare, and no days off in sight. Boo. Still, I can't complain. We crammed an awful lot into the last 10 days or so. Next weekend marks Craig's first roadtrip of the lacrosse season, so we'll probably head to Buffalo for a bit to break up the time. I'm still trying to process that it's a new year, so I'm sure I'll have many thoughts to sort through here as the new year gets rolling. Stay tuned...

Christmas Rewind, Part 2

As if two days of gifts wasn't enough, Christmas Day held the most exciting treat of all, as my brother, his wife, and his daughter were coming to town for the first time in nearly a year and a half. The last time we saw them, Jacob was just over a year and Kate was nearing eight months. We couldn't wait to see how things went this time around now that the kids were that much more active and would notice each other that much more. However, they weren't coming in until Christmas night, so we still had some festivities to attend to beforehand.

We slept in a bit after our late night on Christmas Eve, and then headed to North Tonawanda. We made it shortly before Christmas dinner with some of my mom's family, which was delicious as usual. Jacob was excited to see my grandma's walker, which he calls a "Zamboni". He likes going for rides on it. Here he is in his new hockey jersey...
Jacob inhaled about four crescent rolls at dinner, and then discovered his love for this creamy, fruity dessert that my mom made. He downed that quickly but took time to pose for this picture with Daddy...

No word on whether that spoon position means he's eager to tackle the Binkley family tradition of spoon hanging :) After naptime, we headed off to my Uncle Jeff's for the annual Christmas chaos. Jacob exchanged presents with his big cousin Jaxon, who he adores. He unwrapped one gift that turned out to be a plastic blade for a goalie stick, and then was led by a string to a closet that contained the rest of his gift--a full size hockey stick. My cousin Todd (Jaxon's dad) and my Uncle Jeff headed to the workshop in the basement to cut the shaft down and use the cut portion as the shaft for the goalie blade. It worked out perfectly and Jacob was so excited!

He wasn't so excited that we couldn't use them in the house that night, but they will get a lot of use come spring, I bet!! My parents left the party after the adult exchange and came back with John, Kristin and Kate, which was a treat since we weren't sure how Kate would do after a day of travel and a house full of people. Everyone was happy to see them, though I think everyone was pretty considerate about giving them space so Kate could acclimate to everything. She ended up coloring in a room off to the side with cousin Jordan (Jaxon's younger sister). Jacob joined as well, but it became pretty obvious after a bit that he was getting tired, so we headed out. He conked out in the car and went down easily back at my parents' house. The adults had a little time to chill once the rest of the contingent came home and Kate went down, but we didn't last too long either!

Sunday morning we got up early to head off to church. Craig unfortunately had to head back to Rochester to work a hockey game, but the rest of us got out of the house on time and had a reasonably good church experience. The kids were a little antsy, but all things considered it went well. Jacob even went up for the Children's Sermon for the first time ever. My mom had guts taking him up there!

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After church we got into gift opening. Two two-year-olds present a bit of a challenge, but it ended up being a lot of fun despite interspersed bits of toddler drama. Right away Jacob noticed a gift for him, a Nike basketball courtesy of the Portland contingent.

We started with stockings, and Kate was so cute with her chapstick, being sure to apply it every chance she got! Ahhh, this is why I need a girl :)

Jacob also got a cool jersey from his aunt, uncle and cousin, a cool Oregon State football jersey. As you might notice, he wore it for a good portion of the time we were there. I'll admit, it's pretty darn cool...even if it was covering up some of his cute new clothes!

The kids were tired, but we persevered and got the gifts opened. Jacob got a lot of cool stuff--more clothes, some little things, and his big gift--a real set of golf clubs! My parents really wanted to get them, and for now they're staying there. There's a driver, an iron and a putter, all in a cool bag, just like the grownups use! Jacob and Kate both enjoyed playing with them, and perhaps next year it will be Kate's turn!

Having both kids together again was a dream come true for my parents. Heck, my simple $6 gift of a mousepad with the kids' pictures on it brought my dad to tears! It was so neat to watch, and I tried to take in every minute of the fun. All of us were always on the lookout for photo opportunities, knowing that kids don't always cooperate for the posed shots and the candids might be our best shots. Here's a sweet shot while the kids were looking through a calendar of Kate pictures with my mom...

As a side note, I actually had another great shot of this scene, but I put in this one because I thought it was so funny that both kids were holding golf clubs at the time! And speaking of the golf clubs, here's another shot of Jacob (from the following day) showing his form :)

The rest of Sunday involved naps and a return visit by my mom's family for some interesting gifting. As my grandma has recently moved to a senior apartment, my mom has been diligently trying to sort through everything left in the house in preparation for cleaning it out and getting the house sold. As a result, she ended up putting together gift bags for everyone with items from the house. The kids' bags mostly had Beanie Babies from my grandma's expansive collection, and the adult bags had an assortment of notepads, utensils, ornaments, and other odds and ends. After the initial bag distribution, we all got to look through a box of additional items and pick and exchange until everyone was satisfied. It was different but fun!

Bedtime that night was a bit of a disaster. Kate needed some help to go down, and then once she was out, Jacob was loud enough at his bedtime to wake her up. Neither of them wanted to go to sleep, and it took quite a bit of time and lots of nervous glances at our dueling baby monitors before they were out. We had a rousing game of Balderdash afterward, which at least got us laughing again.

Monday morning we got the kids bundled up and headed out to play in the snow. Jacob hasn't done it very much (maybe not since last year), so he was a bit hesitant. But once he got out there, he warmed up to it a bit. Of course, each kid had a tough moment with their first taste (literally) of snow. Kate was running up and down the snowy sidewalk when she wiped out and fell face first into fluffy snow. Then Jacob went on a sled ride and Grandpa steered him into a bit of a hill that caused him to fall off the sled, again face first into snow. But after a minute of crying he was fine and took a liking to shoveling. I think he was excited to do something that his favorite book character, Brady Brady, does. Brady Brady plays hockey and has a rink in his backyard, which he has to shovel off. So, Jacob thought he was cool because he was shoveling like Brady Brady!

As a whole, we were thrilled about how the kids interacted. They both shared very well and were very nice to each other. Kate was pretty much enthralled with Jacob, always wondering where he was. She asked about him when we were sitting down to dinner, when she woke up, and apparently even said his name in her sleep! Too cute. It made the days we were there so much more fun and infinitely less stressful than they could have been if sharing or jealousy became a problem. After all, Jacob is used to having Grandma and Grandpa to himself, sleeping in the crib there, and generally being the center of the universe when we visit. But he shared the spotlight very well, much to my delight, and even slept well in the pack and play and ate meals without much drama. Here's a cute pic of them together, and in case you're wondering, that's Jacob's goalie helmet (that looks like a football helmet) that came with his hockey dress-up set. He likes putting it up on his head like goalies do when they take a water break.

One benefit of Jacob being so used to my parents is that I think his comfort with them was encouraging to Kate, who was understandably cautious. She sees my parents on the webcam quite often, but seeing them in person was a bit different. This picture below was a breakthrough moment, as both kids played with Grandpa on his iPad. Kids love this one fish application, where fish swim through a virtual pond and any touch on the screen creates a splash that scares the fish away. It was so cute, and hopefully one day I can post video of it.

After Monday naps, we headed off to Great Grandma Ellman's apartment for a visit. It was an eventful visit. We took the kids down the hall to the mailboxes, and they LOVED running down the halls. We also enjoyed seeing the birds in the mini-aviary they have (particularly because Kate let me hold her--and can I say what a big difference eight pounds make? Lifting a 30-pound child is starting to get hard), and had to corral the kids a bit on the way back because they were running and screaming like crazy! I will say, though, how sweet it was to see this one old man smile as he heard the screams, remarking that he hadn't heard that sound in a long time. Sigh.

Once back in the apartment, we got a halfway decent photo op when both kids sat on one of the Beanie Baby benches...and yes, Jacob is still wearing the jersey, still holding a hockey stick, and still wearing his winter gloves because he calls them his hockey gloves.

Kate got her turn on the "Zamboni" after seeing Jacob take a run. It was ridiculously cute!

And here's Jacob on Great Grandma's mobility chair, which was another favorite spot...
Craig came back from Rochester that night, and the four of us headed off for an evening of beverages with our cousins. It was nice to have some adult time, and even better that the kids slept beautifully after the disaster the night before.

Tuesday was our last day there, and we had the pleasure of a visit from Jacob's little friend Nora. You may remember her from Easter weekend, when she was such a good girl finding Easter eggs and sharing not only the eggs, but a number of her toys with Jacob. She is getting to be such a big girl, and it was fun to see the kids together again, now nine months older. Jacob and Nora had fun playing with this animated snowman my mom has (who, sadly, has lost his voice), and then moved on to this music-playing church in the living room. They liked tinkling the little bell in the steeple. We also found out that Nora's going to be a big sister!

Later in the day, Jacob's willingness to play with Grandpa once again gave Kate the courage to do so, and she loved getting this ride...
In the evening my parents brought up one of my brother's favorite toys, a ride-on toy named Ollie. John was particularly skilled at riding him, while other kids fell flat on their faces (me included, apparently). He could fly down the driveway no problem, despite the fact that any sort of tip forward sent Ollie and his occupant falling on their faces. Seriously, this toy would never be approved today. Kate took to him right away, sitting on him just like John did and rolling around the house like it was second nature. Amazing how genes work. Oh, and have I mentioned that Kate is the spitting image of my mom when she was that age? It's crazy. She looks a lot like John and is gaining more of Kristin's features (beyond the eyes, which she already has), but I can't get over how genetics work. It's one of the reasons I was so excited to have a niece or nephew on my side.
After dinner that night, we packed up and headed out. It was sad to leave, but I knew it would feel good to get back to our house. It had been a few busy days of living out of suitcases and sleeping on an air mattress, so it was a nice enticement to think of sleeping in our own beds! It probably helped that the whole crew was coming to visit us the next day, though! More on that in the next post...

Christmas Rewind, Part 1

Well, here we are on New Year's Eve, and I'm finally getting around to blogging about Christmas. A whole week off, and only now on Friday am I getting around to this. Granted, we weren't home most of the week, and then the last couple days have been busy as well. Not to mention that it was quite a daunting task to sort through the nearly 200 pictures I've taken in the last week or so. I am seriously considering buying a netbook, something small and simple that I can take with me when we travel or that I can use in the living room while watching TV in the evenings (we got a wireless router for Christmas!), so blogging isn't something I have to specifically set aside time for. I'd much rather multitask! So, that's on my shopping list currently. Of course, I didn't have one over the holidays, so now I'm way behind. I did spend a lot of time playing on my parents' iPad, so maybe the fun of that was contagious :)

Anyway, last week was crazy. Evenings were full of wrapping and planning. Here's a picture of a Christmas decoration Jacob contributed to our decor...

In case you're wondering, it is an ice cream cone covered in paint, sparkles, and Trix. I love it!

As you may recall, last Tuesday we went to Craig's work Christmas event at the casino. We dropped off Jacob at my parents', then slept there overnight. We came back to Rochester in the morning and worked a half day of work. Thursday I took a half day, then stopped for some last minute gifts and did a marathon wrapping session at home. Fortunately, I was able to finish all my wrapping before Jacob came home. And if I do say so myself, everything looked picture perfect!

Jacob was eager to start unwrapping once he got home. He especially wanted to open two of the biggest gifts. He even guessed one correctly!

Santa brought him a hockey net, a wooden Amerks goalie stick, and a new hockey rink for his hockey guys. Here he's checking out the new balls and sticks that came with his net while Daddy put the net together.

And here's his hockey rink. It's a real air hockey rink, complete with stands. He misses Daddy's big rink a bit, but I'm hoping that this will be sufficient since it takes up a third of the space of the other one!

He also got some Legos, a stuffed hockey penguin (you can see him in the picture above), a bunch of hockey shirts, some candy, a couple books, and a hockey dress-up outfit. That was a last minute purchase at Toys 'R' Us on one of my last shopping trips, and for $15, I couldn't pass it up. It came with a jersey, a stick and puck, an inflatable helmet (never mind that it looks like a football helmet), and a goalie blocker glove! He loved it. Gift opening was a bit of a challenge, though, since he wanted to stop and play with a couple of his key gifts. Since we had a lot to do that evening, I really wanted to keep things moving, so that got a little frustrating. I guess next year I'll have to buy less, but I know at some point he'll turn into one of those crazy gift openers that can't get enough. After dinner, I wanted to whip up some treats to take to our Christmas stops, and then I had to start packing. I was so beat by that point that I didn't get far, and unfortunately that set us back for our departure the next morning.

Christmas Eve morning was a challenge. Packing, one last minute gift to wrap, and double checking my to do list ate up the morning, but at long last we piled in the car and set off for lunch and a drive to Hamburg. I ended up forgetting three things--including an article of clothing for me and a certain pair of shoes for Jacob, which meant I had to overhaul our Christmas Eve wardrobes. I guess I could only remember so many things! Shortly after arriving we had to get changed and head off to church. I very much enjoy Christmas Eve mass at Craig's parents' church. Christmas Eve at my parents' old church was always the best, but this is a nice alternative with beautiful music and a nice message. Jacob was a bit of a handful (we were there for a long time), so it was tough to really focus and reflect, but I did my best. Jacob was obsessed with the slightly frightening bronze wall art of a sacred heart Jesus in the back of the church ("Jesus scare me"--not what you want your kid saying in church, eh?), and he kept trying to crawl under the pews. Still, he did like the music and he was interested in seeing the baby Jesus at the front of the church. Afterward he also wanted to check out the piano...

I haven't quite figured out the piano thing, but I'm wondering if maybe playing the piano on the iPad at my parents' got him interested. Hmmm. At least he was gentle. After church we headed to Craig's aunt's house for the big gathering with the extended family. We had a very nice time and got some fun gifts, and Jacob loved playing with all of the sports action figures that his four older male cousins (second cousins?) have collected over the years. He fell asleep on the way back to Craig's parents' around 9pm, and I sat with him in the car while Craig went in to change and get ready for our next stop (yep, we had one more). We headed off to Craig's brother's house around the corner, and Jacob woke up shortly after we got there. I immediately put on his pajamas, hoping he'd conk back out shortly after presents. I wish.

Amidst the chaos of four kids and six adults opening presents simultaneously (one less than usual--one kid couldn't be woken back up), Jacob got another hockey net (yes, we now have two), along with a bunch of clothes, some cool sports PJs, a bowling set, and a couple other cool things.

Despite my best efforts, Jacob got his second wind and was hyper for the rest of the night. We ended up not getting back to Craig's parents' house and in bed until well after midnight. It made for a very long day, but a very fun one. I can't even tell you how happy I was to have my head hit the pillow, though I did have a heck of a time falling asleep--probably the worst case of Christmas Eve sleeplessness I've had since I was a kid. Too much on my mind and in my belly, I think! Fortunately we got to sleep in fairly late, and then it was off to day three (!) of our Christmas extravaganza...which I will blog about later :)

On a side note...I was thinking back this morning to how we spent New Year's Eve last year. We sent Jacob to daycare, which was the last day of operation for the center (still sad about that), and then headed out to put in an offer on a house (yes, the one we ended up with), eat lunch at Moe's, and pick up Craig's Christmas/birthday gift from his parents, a suit. I remember it being a cold, snowy day, one filled with emotion. The house thing was stressful, obviously, and the last day of daycare was especially sad. We had a low key evening before what turned out to be a long and hellish New Year's Day (and the days beyond) thanks to an evil stomach bug. First Jacob, then Craig, and then me to a lesser degree. Awful. Everything was such a blur for the first week or two of the new year. And then I suppose ther blur continued right through March and our big move. It's hard to believe we're at the end of another year, with nine months under our belts in this house. I was sort of expecting 2010 to be a big year for other reasons, namely that we'd be heading toward baby #2 at some point this year, but as you know, that didn't end up happening. I'm definitely ok with it (I will probably elaborate on this topic again in the new year), but in general I'm leaving this year with mixed emotions...or maybe no emotions. I don't think that's a bad thing, because I'd rather be a bit ambivalent rather than looking back on a year with sadness. It was just a good, solid year. We had the good of the house and watching Jacob grow, and no major losses. We didn't get to start adding to our family and we did have some frustrations with Craig's job and Jacob's behavior, but as a whole it was a good year. I think maybe I'm at the point where I'm thankful for the year it was and looking to the new year with hope and anticipation of good things to come. You just never know, so I'm trying to appreciate the present for what it is. Hopefully that's a good thing. In any event, Happy New Year, everyone!

Santa's Test House

Ok, so while it's not ideal, I guess we finally have a solution to my whole Christmas quandary of not having real Christmas in our house and figuring out what to do about Santa. We were pondering bringing a few gifts and then doing the rest at home, but since we're staying in Buffalo for a few extra days to enjoy my brother and his family, that would be a while. My mom mentioned that my brother had decided to do Christmas early, and that got me thinking. I mean, it seems a little odd to do it early, like we're cheating or something, but then again, if you frame it right, it can really work out so much better, for so many reasons.

I came up with this scenario, which not only makes me feel better, but also can be the foundation for a reasonable explanation down the road, since I don't foresee our holiday schedule changing any time soon. Santa is going to use our house as a test house. He wants to make sure everything is working right, so we've been specially and randomly selected to be among the first to get our gifts. Oh, and if this explanation ever fails once Jacob's smarter, we'll just revert to something simpler--that Santa knows that we won't be at our house on Christmas morning and wanted to make sure that we got our gifts in time. But anyway, we'll get our stuff early, have a lovely Christmas gift-opening session tonight (hopefully), and be off for the rest of our Christmas festivities by no later than tomorrow morning. Santa will probably come today before Jacob gets home from daycare, assuming that I can utilize my afternoon off to get the rest of his gifts wrapped. I still have a handful to do, and I decided on the way in to work that I need to get a few more stocking stuffers on my way home. That decision actually coincided with the lack of windshield washer fluid in my car this morning, so I might as well kill two birds with one stone. He loves M&Ms so I might as well use this as an excuse to stock him up.

I really like this idea because I think it lays nice groundwork for starting our own Christmas tradition in our own house. I think that's one thing that made me a little sad when we moved out of our other house. Other than moving in and bringing Jacob home, I felt like we didn't have a ton of memories there. Most of our significant events (namely holidays) didn't happen there, so we didn't have the emotional attachment like we probably do to our childhood homes--Christmas morning, Easter basket hunts, birthday parties, etc. So much of what we do for those significant events is with family, and our families reside elsewhere. It's more convenient for us to visit them than for all of them to come to us, so it's understandable that this is how it has to be. But still, the lack of emotional attachments to our old house was a bit of a bummer, even if it did make the moving process less difficult. But now that we have this beautiful house with a perfect place for our tree and a picture-perfect stairway down to the living room, it seemed to be a bit of a waste to not have real Christmas memories there. Now, granted, with this year's setup we won't use the picture perfect stairway, but that's not to say we won't do it Christmas Eve morning someday. And if I can capture Jacob's look of awe when he comes in the door today and sees the presents (if all goes well...though knowing him, he won't even notice), that'll be enough. And each year we'll just have to see how our schedule looks, come up with a plausible explanation of how Santa got us gifts early, and fit it in before we head out. And if all else fails and Jacob figures out that the whole thing is a bit of a sham, there's always this explanation that I hope will make things right again and keep the magic going.

And ultimately, I guess my goal is to get Christmas traditions like that going so we're fully comfortable with them once Jacob is old enough to fully appreciate them. I just want his Christmas to be as magical and wonderful as mine were, even though my traditions were different than what his will be. As long as I can still maintain some level of wonder and anticipation, we're doing well. I think I've already discussed here how it's hard to live up to many years' worth of stay-at-home mom Christmas preparations. Even now I marvel at how many presents and stocking stuffers my mom bought and wrapped. Things were always so perfect on Christmas morning. I just don't have the time at home to do all I'd like to do, but I hope to get close. A couple weeks ago my dad remarked on Facebook that he didn't know what to do with the towels he'd just folded since Christmas towels had taken their place. His conclusion is that women love to work, since we do things like put out Christmas towels and a million other decorations. My response was that we don't love to work--we feel compelled to work to enhance the lives of those around us. Call it a motherly instinct or whatever, but I'm not sure if it's something we're wired to do, or just something we do because it is "expected" of us. If nothing else, perhaps it's a desire to enjoy the fruits of our labor and sit back (ha!) and appreciate all the hard work we've done. Miserable though it can be while I'm putting them up(and even moreso when they're coming down), I do enjoy the Christmas decorations immensely. That's probably my biggest letdown after the holidays--the disappearing act of Christmas lights and decorations. Second to that is the lack of little daily surprises that tend to happen this time of year--unexpected gifts, random treats, odd diversions during an otherwise boring work day. But enjoying all of that stuff while it's still around is nice, and I guess my quest to make Christmas as beautiful and memorable as possible is as much for me as it is for Jacob. It's a tough battle some days (like today, as I head home to wrap, make treats, and pack), but starting tomorrow it's time to enjoy and go with the flow. Christmas is almost here! In case I don't get around to blogging, Merry Christmas to everyone! Have a wonderful holiday with the people you love!

Illness Overload

So I took Jacob to the doctor on Friday evening to see if he had strep. It seemed plausible enough, considering a classmate had it, and Jacob was complaining about his "mouth" all day. Well, no. No strep, just a virus. And yes, I suppose that that's good, but there's always a bit of a letdown when whatever illness we take him in for is not curable with antibiotics. Doing something about an illness always seems better than just sitting there waiting for it to go away. But still, strep is pretty awful so it was good to know that wasn't going to be torturing any of us. And by the time he woke up Saturday he had no fever and seemed pretty good, as evidenced by this happy picture...

But still, Jacob didn't have much of an appetite on Saturday. He hardly ate his lunch and managed to eat just a bit at dinner--though he did eat an entire tube of yogurt, so that was good. Craig was working so Jacob and I went out shopping with Lori. The mall was a madhouse, but we survived and got a few gifts in the process. Jacob even got to ride the train in the mall, which seemed to make his night.

And then came yesterday. Jacob woke up and immediately wanted breakfast, which almost never happens. I was hoping that was a sign that he was feeling better and he was finally feeling the effects of having zero appetite for the previous few days. So, downstairs we went for cereal and milk. Well, shortly thereafter he was just sort of lethargic. He just wanted to snuggle on the couch. Not complaining, for sure, but it's not normal for him. That lasted long enough to miss our first shot at church, but shortly thereafter he seemed better and was off to play. In the meantime Craig headed off to work (last game until the day after Christmas) and I figured all was well. And then out of nowhere Jacob came over to me whining and promptly threw up in my lap. Well, in my hands, on the carpet, and down the front of the couch. It was a mix of curdled milk and reddish pink berries, thanks to the Berry Burst Cheerios he'd eaten for breakfast. Gross as it was, it was probably one of the least gross pukes I'd ever seen, if that's possible. And yes, it made a nice spot on our off-white carpet in the living room. Lovely. In a bit of a panic, I picked Jacob up and took him into the bathroom just in case he had anymore coming, then grabbed some old towels and spread one out on the floor for him to lay on. I explained to him that if he felt sick again, that he should try to get it in the toilet, then left him laying there. Concerned as I was for him, he seemed stable, so I headed off in search of cleaning supplies. I didn't want to leave that stuff while it stained the carpet, so I grabbed my OxiClean laundry spray and hit up the stain. I let it sit, cleaned up what was left on the couch (ah, the red couch was a godsend), and headed back up to Jacob. He seemed better, still in shock, but okay. We cleaned up, tried a little water, and sat in the bathroom waiting for it to come back up. But it never did. Eventually we headed back downstairs, and I set up a towel on the floor with a bucket, just in case. By that time Jacob was begging to have breakfast again, and since the water stayed down, I consented to some dry toast. He ate it quickly and asked for more. I held off for a bit, but when that stayed down, I gave in to his request for goldfish. Those stayed down and he wanted more, so I let him have the rest of the dry cereal from his breakfast. He ate that up as well. Miraculously, it all stayed down. By then I was figuring that his breakfast must not have settled quite right, perhaps because his milk had turned. It was a few days past the sell-by date, but I have a seriously muted sense of smell (not sure why, really need to bug the doctor more) and can't smell if it has gone sour. So maybe it had. But let me tell you, it was a torturous half hour or so. Not just because Jacob was sick and it's hard to watch, but for so many reasons beyond that. Yes, I was concerned about the carpet (which came clean, by the way), but all I could think about was how we were a week out from Christmas, and how long Jacob would be sick, how soon we would get it, whether or not I'd be able to work what little I'm supposed to work this week, if we'd be able to go to Craig's work Christmas party, which I have been looking forward to for weeks, how we'd finish Christmas preparations, if we'd be able to celebrate Christmas at all, whether we'd have to miss out on time with my brother's family, and on and on and on. So, thank goodness it appears to have been just another parenting fail on my part, and not another onslaught of germs. Even still, I have been tortured for the last year by Jacob's stomach bug last New Year's, to the point that every gag or cough or suspected illness just freaks me out to no end. That was so horrible and I don't even want to think about going through it again, particularly at this time of year.

I was still nervous, though, so we carefully ate some lunch, and then I set Jacob up to nap on the living room floor. I figured if I set him up on the towel and gave him some blankets, he could nap comfortably right there next to me, without fear of destroying his crib if the pukes came back. And sure enough, he fell asleep in no time, and we both got good naps...his was almost three hours! After his nap, he got up to play and I escaped downstairs to the computer for a few minutes. When I came back up, Jacob said something about having something on his hands, and come to find out it was poop. At first I thought he had pooped and stuck his hands down his pants (which we've told him not to do--he did it once in his crib and we were grateful to see that it only got on a couple slats--and NOT his zoo of animals), but then I started to see more--drops on his toes, spots on the carpet--and realized that he'd had a bit of a blowout, up and out the back. It was soft and therefore traveled a bit. So upstairs we went, careful not to make it worse, stripped off his PJs and got cleaned up. He got a bath, and I did more damage control with the OxiClean, both on the rug and on his changing pad cover and PJs. Oy.

Still, he seemed to feel fine and I figured there couldn't be much more left in him, so I decided to venture out. I just had to make a couple stops for groceries and another couple Christmas gifts, so I figured it would be quick, productive, and a good way to feel functional again after a long day of bodily functions gone wrong. And fortunately, it went well. Gifts and groceries bought, with no Jacob issues at all. In fact, I was so desperate to make it a good day that I took an extra 15-20 minutes to drive down to a street near my first-ever apartment that is insanely well-decorated for the holidays. Each year I swear I'll get down there, and each year the season passes without the trip. Well, this year I was determined, and since Jacob had eaten a bagel at Wegmans (a free mini one, from their Kids Cookie Club bin), I knew he could hold off on dinner for a bit. So off we went, and it did not disappoint. Apparently a lot of other people had the same idea, because there was a bit of a traffic jam on the street! Fortunately that meant we had time to go slow and see it all, so I didn't mind. The first two houses on the street are awesome, and then the rest of the street has a very high percentage of decorated houses. Very pretty, tasteful decorations for the most part, and seeing so many together is just so pretty. Apparently traffic is high a lot of the time, because one house had a firepit and they were selling popcorn and hot cocoa! It was lovely, particularly with Christmas carols in the car and Jacob in the backseat. It was totally worth the trip. Of course, I didn't think to bring out the camera until the very end, but he's a slightly blurred but still representative view of one of those first couple houses. Part of me wants to go back and get video next time!The rest of the evening was pretty low key, though I did introduce Jacob to "A Charlie Brown Christmas". He loved seeing them skate at the beginning, though I think the rest was lost on him. That's ok, though...we have to start somewhere, right?

So here were are at the start of a very busy week. I have a full day of work today, and half days for the next three before being off until January 3rd. A-MAZ-ING. Anyway, two of those half days off are taken up by Craig's work Christmas party (at Seneca Niagara Casino), along with the aftermath--no, not a hangover, just heading back from an overnight at my parents, where Jacob will be spending the evening. And no doubt the other half day will be a sprint to finish everything that isn't done--wrapping, packing, etc. I'm still waiting to get my Christmas cards, which I need to get stamped, addressed, and sent in the next couple days. I haven't started wrapping, but I would like to start tonight so we can haul some stuff to my parents' house tomorrow...just to have a few less things taking up space when we finally come in for Christmas. I also need to get my boss's gift done, since she's off starting Wednesday. I did a second round of cinnamon applesauce ornaments last night, since the first batch didn't really turn out (too thin, cracked, warped, and they stuck to the cookie sheet so the backs were awful), and those are drying. Hopefully they'll be good to go by Thursday when they go to Jacob's teachers, along with a batch of Dunkin' Donuts gift cards. I still have two gifts to buy, and I'm stumped, even though I can really get anything in the right price range if all else fails...but I'd like them to be good. But ultimately, the wrapping and packing (for nearly a week!) is stressing me out. And not just any week, a holiday week of varying activities that may include parties, snow play, and at least a handful of showing off/photo ops with both of my parents' grandchildren together.

Speaking of that, I seriously cannot wait to see my brother and his family. It's been a year and a half since I've seen my niece in person, so being able to see the kids together--at least to the degree that they will nicely play together--should be nice. I have a feeling their modes of play will be a little different (guessing my niece isn't spending much time playing hockey, lacrosse or football), so who knows how they'll interact, but it'll be nice to have everyone together at least. It'll be a crowded house, but I will gladly sleep on the air mattress and take quick showers if it means we're all there :)

Wish us luck this week...should be a fast but interesting one!

Mom FAIL

I'm not big into the whole "FAIL" thing I see people overusing on Facebook, but I seriously can't think of any other way to put last night into words. I missed Jacob's Christmas program. Well, not all of it, but just the part he was in. Ugh. Craig got some of it on video, so I will be able to post it here at some point, but yeah, I missed it. By about three minutes. I had my work Christmas party yesterday afternoon, and I got out of work a little early. Since I was missing my normal Thursday class at the gym for the program, I figured I'd pop in, get in a good 45 minute workout, mostly so I didn't feel like a big fat blob in the midst of Christmas eating (particularly following the party), and leave in time to get there. Well, apparently I miscalculated how long it would take to make myself presentable and drive there, because I got there about five minutes late...and Jacob's class was the first act. I missed Jingle Bells and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. On the video it didn't look like Jacob was singing much, but he did manage to shake a jingle bell extremely well. On the bright side, he did sit nicely for the whole thing. And for that, I'm very proud of him.

And as you can imagine, I am thoroughly disgusted with myself. I feel like, well, something that's probably not appropriate to write here. I tried, I really did. I truly thought I left enough time to get there. But when I did arrive the kids were just coming back down to their parents. Heartbreaking. I totally screwed up. Totally.

I keep trying to find a bright side to this whole thing--the learning experience, if you will. On the bright side, Jacob didn't really know any better. I'm not sure he noticed that I wasn't there, and even still, I don't think my absence would be particularly disappointing at this stage. Now, give it a few years and I miss something, then YES, he will probably be crushed. But let's just hope I have learned my lesson to build in a significantly bigger chunk of time next time I have to get to something like this. No matter what. And while I never would want to miss his first one, maybe this one's the best one to miss out of all of them because he doesn't get it yet. At least I'm the only one who's sad...not him. Not that I want to give myself an easy out, but I suppose if I don't, the guilt will just kill me more than it already has.

As if all of that wasn't enough, Jacob woke up this morning not quite himself. He's had a brutal runny nose for a couple days, but otherwise he seemed okay. But this morning, a couple minutes after he woke up he started crying and saying that his mouth hurt. I had an inkling that he might be talking about his throat, but when I asked him directly, he insisted it was his mouth. Getting any vitamins or medicine in him was a challenge, but eventually when I took him to wake Craig up, he was jumping on our bed happy as could be. With my boss off today, I was hesitant to stay home, and seeing him act normal made it seem like he'd be ok. Today is Santa day at daycare as well, so I'd hate for him to miss that, despite the whole fear of Santa issue. But eventually he seemed ok with going, so we did. Of course, upon arrival we learned that another kid came down with strep, which got the suspicions up a bit more. By lunchtime I got a call that he was complaining about his mouth again and that he refused to eat lunch. Bad of an eater as he is, that's rare. I asked them to call me again after naptime (if he's going to sleep for a couple hours regardless, it might as well be there while I wrap up work), and if he was still not feeling good, then I'd take a sick half day and come to get him. Turns out I'll only leave a little bit early no matter what, and tonight we'll head off to the doctor. Thank God we don't have a copay. Still, he's been on my mind all day, and I certainly felt guilty for even having to send him to daycare in the first place. Should be an interesting weekend alone with him, that's for sure. I'll take all the cuddles I can get, though. And if I can have a healthy child for Christmas, all the better.