It's the end of a long weekend and I am tired. That does not bode well for this week, even if it's a short one.
We got over a foot of snow last night, and there's a chance for more overnight, and after two rounds of shoveling, I am beat. That was on top of barely being able to walk for two days because I tried a new workout on Saturday. I am trying to get myself back into a workout routine because I just haven't been able to do it for months, and I can tell that my body needs some activity. I've been trying to change things up with this smart TV workout app, and after trying a couple shorter programs, I did a longer one on Saturday after the elliptical (which is apparently now broken--the resistance won't go down) and it was pretty intense. It reminded me of my old instructor's challenge workouts from between my two pregnancies, and I ended up rather sore. In some ways the shoveling loosened things up, but then they tightened up again pretty quickly and added a tired back to the mix. Suffice it to say I'm happy to not have to move much tomorrow once school drop-off is complete. Whenever we get a storm like this (or really anything six inches or above), I kick myself for us not getting a snowblower. But then I realize we only get a storm like this every 2-3 years, and maybe one six-incher per year, and realize that's a lot of money for only a few uses. I don't mind the workout when it's manageable, but this was a bit much considering it took all four of us hours to clear the driveway. Drifts were at least 18 inches and the end of the driveway was a solid couple feet high, and rather heavy. Buffalo got even more, and some schools are closed there tomorrow. Thank goodness today was a holiday or I feel like my stress level balancing the kids, work, and shoveling would have been through the roof.
A highlight from the weekend was the Bills' big playoff win. It was in crazy cold weather, single digits with negative wind chill, but the fans had a blast under all those layers. It was just the first round but they had what is being considered the NFL's first ever perfect offensive game. They had touchdowns on every possession except when they kneeled, no turnovers, no sacks, fewer incompletions than touchdown passes, and any number of other impressive stats. They won by 30 points against the Patriots of all teams. Now they'll play the Chiefs, one of the NFL's reigning best teams, so we'll see if they can exorcise the demons from losing to them in the conference championship last year. I've been a Bills fan too long to assume their perfect game means anything, because we went to four straight Superbowls and seemed good enough to win at least one (and led another at halftime) and yet here we sit 30 years later emptyhanded. I feel this awful sense of urgency, though, because I really want to see them win with Josh Allen and I worry that coaches and/or players will start getting poached imminently (like this off-season) and the magic will dissipate. The thing is, Josh Allen is such a perfect Buffalo athlete. Buffalo athletes need to be special people--they need to be OK with being recognized and adored in crazy ways without getting too full of themselves. They understand the passionate fans and embrace the community. There's a wing at the Children's Hospital with Josh Allen's grandmother's name on it. He just gets it. He brings back memories of so many other guys that passionately played here and loved it, some of whom stuck around and made it home afterward. The Bills and Sabres both had generations of players like that, and I feel like they've been harder to come by in more recent decades as the teams have struggled. Ironically, the last quarterback that had those vibes (but wasn't nearly as good) happened to be at the game, shirtless at times, cheering the Bills on. Ryan Fitzpatrick actually lived down the street from Craig's parents and seemed to be a fantastic human being and a guy who appreciated living in Buffalo, so seeing him at the game brought a lot of smiles to a lot of people because he's evidence we did something right by him. But for so many other players, they didn't have positive memories here and were probably in a rush to move on. But seeing flashes of that again (and seeing those past Bills players support this young quarterback wholeheartedly) has been lovely, and I just want so badly for the ultimate success to finally happen here before something goes permanently wrong again.
We mostly stayed out of the extreme cold on Saturday aside from grabbing dinner out, and Craig had practice early Sunday but got home late in the afternoon. Otherwise I went to Wegmans and the boys did some basketball training stuff, and things were pretty quiet. I even read a book in two days because it's due tomorrow. The weather today meant that Jacob's game that was supposed to happen today did not, so now we have to wait until Wednesday to see how his next modified game will go. His first one was frustrating as they blew out the other team and he not only didn't play much but was also told to hold off on shooting. He really dislikes this team for a lot of (mostly valid) reasons. We're still agonizing over the school thing--we went on a tour Tuesday which brought up a whole new set of questions--and then we found out this weekend that the team he was supposed to play on in the spring (which was actually a level below what he could play because he refused to play for a certain coach again) might not have a coach, so he might have to find another team. Luckily there are a couple options that are intriguing in their own right, but it's frustrating to keep running into roadblocks with his basketball career. It makes the school decision seem even more monumental, because if he makes these changes, he has no choice but to move forward even if things don't go the way he was expecting, which seems to be the norm.
Have I mentioned that Jacob is trying to bulk up and it's driving me crazy? It's hard enough to feed a growing teenager, let alone a gluten-free one who's trying to load up on the protein. He's doing shakes, eating oatmeal and a hard-boiled egg for breakfast, always looking for better snacks (like the $6.99 bag of protein chips--ugh), and generally driving me a little nuts keeping up with it all. He's also working out more in between practices, which is good for him but frustrating when we're trying to have normal family dinners. It's working, as he has gained a few pounds and moved up his weight percentile a few points, but it has been a bit more dominant a theme in our daily planning than I'd like. Most days I feel like I'm not prepared to be the mom of an elite athlete. Have I mentioned I might need to take him to Philly by myself in a couple months? It's...a lot. But I'm trying.
Carter is chugging along. He seems to be doing well with school and now takes so much pride in how he does on assignments and tests and how he progresses in his computer learning apps. It's night and day compared to last year, where anything having to do with school was the last thing he wanted to talk about. Now he asks me almost every day, "What do you want to know about my day?" So I ask him what special he had or what he learned or what was fun. It's hard to think of good questions, but I know that's a good problem to have when your kid wants to talk about their day. He's winding down therapy, it would appear. He has about four social group sessions left and a couple more one-on-one sessions, and then I think we'll be done. He's progressed so well--in part because of the medicine but also through some other positive things that have created the good kind of perfect storm. We still struggle a bit to pull him away from screens, particularly since he inherited Jacob's old phone and he still loves watching The Simpsons every chance he gets--in spite of all the Christmas toys in the living room. It's still a work in progress. I can't believe he's only a month away from turning nine, but I'm so grateful he's still a snuggly, loving kid most of the time. We lost that for a bit in the midst of the worst of the pandemic, but he's a happy, positive kid again. He gives me a ton of hugs, especially when I do something to make him happy. This weekend it was two days of egg salad sandwiches and some rice krispie treats. He still likes a snuggle at bedtime and it's so sweet when he holds my arm around him. We're unfortunately still dealing with some challenges in the overnight department with his brain vs. his bladder, which all restarted back a few years ago when his apnea and tonsils/adenoids were causing problems, but nothing has seemed to fix it despite fixing those issues. We're going to try something new hopefully by next weekend, so we'll see how the next few weeks and months go. It just stinks because it's not something he can help and it's been a thing for so long. I'm hesitant to try medication (crappy side effects), so hopefully we can get this figured out because he deserves so much better than what his body is still making him deal with.
Craig is getting back into the groove with work after a month of almost nothing except some planning and lots of worrying, first due to the holidays and then due to COVID cases ravaging half the team. He has two games this coming weekend, one home and one away. It'll be a challenge for everyone to get back in the groove, I think. It seems like the season has been going on forever but we're only a few games in.
As for me, my problem-solving jag has continued, and probably even leveled up. After buying bras last week (and deciding to keep them all), I of course bought bags to properly wash them so I don't destroy them. But then I realized they were all crammed in my drawers (they don't fold like my old ones), so then I was trying to switch things around for them, which led to me deciding that maybe it's time for my jewelry to get a better setup. I have command hooks holding most of my necklaces on the wall, ice cube trays holding most of my earrings in an underwear drawer, and an old gum megapack container holding my big earrings. All of it's a little hard to wrangle, so I pulled the trigger on a new jewelry armoire that has a mirror on the front. I really hope it works. If it does, it will open up space on my dresser top, wall, and in my drawer, plus allow me to pass off my full-length mirror to Carter, who has a weird tendency to put his shirts on backwards (I think he gets distracted and just turns them the wrong way some days) and needs to get in the habit of checking himself out. So, multiple problems will be addressed, and I'm hoping it arrives in good shape and doesn't have some of the issues negative reviewers (who were a minority) had with it. At least I ordered it from Walmart for an easier return policy.
It seems to me that when I don't have the ability or brainpower to address the big problems, I do what I can to fix the small everyday ones, just so one element of my life gets easier. That's probably not the best route to go, but it's apparently a pandemic-derived coping skill I'm using a lot currently. Maybe I should be figuring out how to get my kitchen renovated, elliptical fixed, windows replaced (our new one randomly cracked over the weekend), or call to get a new humidifier installed, but instead as I type I'm agonizing over another buying decision--this time for a Ninja blender. My little single serve blender is on its last legs and Jacob uses it all the time now, so I was debating getting a big-time Ninja because I have always hated the food processor that came with my blender when we got married. I want something durable and easy for Jacob and got it in my head that I can kill two birds with one stone if I get the full system. But I barely use my food processor (partly because I don't like it but partly because I just don't need to) and my real blender doesn't get used much either. But maybe with a better one it would? Maybe I'd prefer doing cookie dough in the food processor? Maybe I'd make my own smoothies if it was easier? Maybe I'd try other new things...but maybe that's being too optimistic? I just don't want to get something lesser and regret it, but what if the Ninja dies out before I feel like I got my worth out of the extras? Sometimes we need a refresh to get into new habits but this would be an expensive gamble. I can get a good deal at Kohl's, but I don't know.
Beyond that I've been desperately trying to work through a mental block for weekly food planning. Poor Carter got dragged to three stores the other night and I'm still struggling for ideas and ingredients. It's like I've hit a wall and have no idea what to feed these people. I might be fine on a main dish but struggle on sides (two acceptable veggies is not enough), or I keep doing the same sides and feeling like I don't have enough other options for main dishes because I'm blowing through meat so quickly. I think I'm just tired and bored with what we've been doing and frustrated when ingredients aren't available for a while, and all of that gets me out of my routine and I forget what I used to make by the time something is back in stock. Even my master dinner list isn't helping me these days.
It's weird, because sometimes life seems really good and I'm blown away by how blessed we are, and other times I'm just weirdly exhausted and wondering what we're doing wrong. It's hard to describe and sometimes I feel like my brain chemistry needs a little balancing, but I know that's probably a bit much and these are just normal problems amplified by a crappy, never-ending pandemic. And I didn't even mention the COVID stress that omicron is causing right now as people are getting it left and right. We solider on, one day, one issue at a time. We're okay, even better than okay most days. But it's still hard. But at least this time, it's a four-day week!
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