Today was study day at my alma mater, the one day between when classes end and exams begin. It was probably one of my favorite days of the year, despite the daunting challenge it posed, just because it was a day out of the ordinary--we could sleep in, hang out in our room, eat leisurely meals, not have to trudge over to campus, and maybe even watch a little TV, all while cramming in multiple study sessions for whatever exams we had up first. It was definitely a pressure-filled day, but the break from the semester-long routine was refreshing and I could find little wrong with spending the day with my best friend, essentially trapped in our room. One spring study day we did venture out into the gorgeous spring sun to study, which resulted in a painful sunburn for both of us, but winter ones generally meant cocooning in our room, ideally with a little Christmas music and a soap opera break mid-afternoon. If we were lucky, one or both of us had received an exam week care package, so we might have even had some good snacks to keep us motivated. Even though there was, at most, seven days separating us from six weeks of freedom and Christmas, it felt like an eternally high mountain to climb at the time. Finals usually held a lot of weight, and I was fanatical about my grades. Doing them--and doing them well--was a must, but it seemed like a lot to conquer.
Most exam weeks I miraculously ended up with one test per day--which was good news for studying but bad news for break because it maxed out your time at school. If you were lucky enough to finish up all of your exams in three days, you could go home as many as four days early. That happened to me once and it was pretty glorious, but cramming five classes' worth of finals into those three days was not so enjoyable. I could barely hold a pen by the time it was over, courtesy of many hours of essay writing into those blasted little blue books. I had a very specific study routine--re-read my notes two days out, rewrite them the day before, and study them at least twice that day, including once right before bed. It worked wonderfully with one exam per day, but was significantly harder with two. And by the time it was all over, I was exhausted and generally slept until noon my first day home. I don't think I actually recovered from my first exam week (complete with a cold and fever) for a solid week. But looking back on it now, while I wouldn't really want to go back and relive exam week, getting through five three-hour exams and some intense-but-at-my-own-pace studying for seven days doesn't sound so bad.
Fast-forward to 40-something adulthood and the chasm between me and Christmas seems a bit bigger. I'm also managing the chasm for two Christmas-crazy kids, which is even more challenging. I'd say I'm not sure who's more excited to get to the other side, but let's face it--they both dislike school and Christmas is still stress-free magic for them (outside of Jacob obsessing about his wish list), so I'm pretty sure they win. All they have two do is survive less than two weeks of school, and Jacob two weeks of practice and confirmation, and they're golden. I, on the other hand, have to slog through a bunch of work, the usual early mornings and lunch making, tons of gift buying (despite having done a bunch already), and all of the usual holiday baking, food planning, and gift wrapping that clog up that last week or so pretty handily. Forget about five exams--now THIS feels like an insurmountable mountain, every single year. And yes, it will feel good to have the majority of two weeks to relax at home, but the reality is that the kids will drive me nuts and I still have plenty to do in the midst of that, so I'm not sure how relaxing it will actually be. The 6am wakeup calls and lunch packing I will not miss, however.
On one hand it seems like we will never get there. Every early morning and every busy evening seem like a daunting tasks. Work days seem to go on forever. But on the other hand, I know it's going to go by at light speed. It will be here before we know it, and I remind Jacob of that every day when he talks about how he can't wait. This time of anticipation is what makes the holiday itself so special. It's when we make our holiday season memories, and all of the build-up about presents is what makes the actual act of opening them so momentous. If it was just a couple days of waiting, it wouldn't be nearly so exciting. And then, after all of the anticipation, it's over so quickly! And so quickly after that (though less quickly this year), break will be over and we'll be back to school and work, and deep into the yucky part of winter, which drags on badly! So let's just enjoy the current fun while it lasts, shall we?
I'm finding myself trying to soak in every moment of lazy snowfalls, Christmas lights and music, and even crazy Christmas shopping. I know it all goes so fast and I know as I get older, Christmas as we know it will continue to change and evolve, so I'm trying to appreciate it while it's still at a place I'm comfortable in. What will it be like when our parents are gone, or when the kids are grown? I want to enjoy it to its fullest now while it's still familiar and comfortable and fully happy. It's hard to explain that to your kids, of course. So I guess they'll just continue to count down through the eternity that is childhood pre-Christmas, and I will sit here as an overwhelmed but grateful adult who knows that Christmas is only two weeks away and will be done before we know it. Even if I'm struggling each morning and counting down the days until I can sleep in, at least I know it's one less day until we get there, and inevitably, day by day, we will get there. In the meantime, I have plenty to do...and when it finally does get here, it will be well-earned. It's a little different than the childhood version of building up that anticipation, but it's still pretty effective.
All is just as it should be, and I wouldn't change it for the world. Hang in there, kids. And you, too, grown-ups. It's coming!
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