Last night before bed, I read this blog post about why Christmas was better in the 1980s. Obviously most of my memories were different, but some were similar, some had an equivalent, and some of what he said is just universally true. The excitement of the surprises of Christmas morning. Making my list out of the Wish Book. Eating Pillsbury cinnamon rolls (or the orange-flavored ones) for Christmas breakfast. One viewing of each Christmas special per year. And yes, even in my smell-less state, I can vaguely remember the smell near the Hickory Farms kiosk. I wasn't a fan.
I remember hoping to hear my first Christmas song on the radio on the way home from Thanksgiving evening at my grandparents, then eagerly awaiting full-time Christmas music, which didn't actually start until Christmas Eve Day back then (!). I was always so excited to open my multiple Advent calendars every day. I remember the thrill of walking into church on the first Sunday with the giant Christmas tree. I was both excited to see how it was decorated and thankful to have something to stare at if the sermon went long. I remember making Christmas crafts in school--usually as a gift to my parents--and practicing countless songs for both the school Advent program and the Sunday School Christmas Eve program (though I could have done without the Saturday morning practices for that one--I would have much preferred staying in my jammies and watching Saturday morning cartoons--yet another lost art!). I loved when the Christmas cookies were done and I could pick my favorite shape to sample. I couldn't wait to drive around to see decorated houses, and go to the Niagara Falls Festival of Lights to see the decorations and wander through the toasty Wintergarden to the Rainbow Mall. I absolutely loved decorating the Christmas tree and rediscovering all of my favorite ornaments. I never liked seeing Santa (too much pressure, I think?), nor do I remember being crushed when the truth came out. But even as a big kid I had a hard time going to sleep on Christmas Eve, and I always woke up with a start on Christmas morning. By the time I was a teenager, at least I learned to read a book when I woke up to pass the time. I loved the two Christmas Eve services at church, followed by appetizers at my uncle's or my grandma's house (depending on if he was working on Christmas Eve), even if it seemed like they always gave me digestive troubles the next day! And maybe most of all I loved Christmas afternoon into the evening at my grandparents' house with all of my cousins, and the endless gift exchange. Then it was often off to my other grandma's house for more presents, before collapsing back at home, happy, stuffed, and spoiled. I'm sure there are more that I'm missing right now, but those are the things that made Christmas what it was for me.
We had a little lull for a few years once Craig and I got together and had to figure out our new normal (Christmas Eve with his family, Christmas Day with mine--and missing the traditions that fell opposite), but just as we settled into that, Jacob was born. Suddenly it became a mission to get as many Christmas traditions going as we could. Not that he caught on that first year, or maybe even the second, but I wanted to get some traditions in place so as soon as he was aware, he started to have experiences to associate with the holiday. Same thing when Carter came along. Having boys pretty much means they don't care as much as I did when I was a little girl, but hopefully there's some osmosis happening somewhere along the way. They've never wanted to go see Santa, and even getting them to participate in cookies has been a challenge, but we've worked on the Advent calendars and we have some favorite books and movies. They mostly like the presents and our marathon of receiving them for two full days. Oh, and Jacob holds me to "Christmas morning" cinnamon rolls now.
Keeping it all together at Christmas isn't easy. From the moment Thanksgiving ends and the Christmas season begins, it's a non-stop to do list and a battle against time to get it all done. But all of the things I do--from the decorations to the thought I put into Christmas gifts for them--is all for the purpose of creating a Christmas feeling that will stick with them for the rest of their lives. I hope someday the things we do will resurface in the things they do with their own kids. Maybe then it will feel a little more worthwhile. But in the meantime, I know some of it is for me. In the chaos that is our normal life, I think beautifying the house is one of the manifestations of my desire for order and beauty and peace. Because when I finally have a moment to sit back and appreciate it--like that blog author aims to do--it's nice to look around and be proud of what I see. I can look at the tree or my decorations and recall the memories associated with them...from the crappy dollar store stuff that came from tacky gift parties or early attempts at decorating my own apartment; to gifts from my grandma's Hallmark obsession or my mom's annual angel ornament purchases. Some of it was from early in our marriage, and some was inherited as my grandmas passed away. But some of the newer pieces, like the LED lights and garland on my mantel or the sparkly tree skirt are the finishing touches carefully selected to make it everything I want it to be--and hopefully make it feel just as homey to me as my childhood home did 30+ years ago.
Our childhood Christmases probably were more simplistic. But only part of that was because it was the 80s and things really were simpler. The other part is because we were kids and our parents made the magic happen for us. Now it's our job and the tradition continues. I wouldn't make such an effort to do this stuff if it didn't mean the world to me to have all of the stuff I look back on myself. As fun as Christmas Day is, I've come to realize that it was all the little stuff that was part of the build-up that made Christmas what it was. And every year, I want to keep building that for my kids...and maybe a little for myself so there's still something to smile about when the last of my childhood connections have faded away. So each year I will drive myself nuts, rush through the season, and sacrifice a little peace and joy to make sure our holiday is as memorable as can be. And now I have my answer for all the times I ask myself during this season, "Why do I bother?" Because others did it for me.
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