Christmas

As I pulled my pictures off my camera, I realized just how off-kilter this whole December has been.  I had a couple things I absolutely should have blogged about by now, but I haven't.  Part of it is just the usual busyness with getting ready for Christmas, and part of it is that I'm still not feeling great (including a blossoming cold that started early last week, but that I thankfully kept at bay with zinc), and I think part of it is just the many emotions that swirled around this season--from our issues with Jacob, to a few more challenges with Carter, to just thinking about all that my cousin's family had to be going through as they approached the first Christmas without their son.  All of it just led to a bit of a lack of Christmas spirit that I had hoped would give way to joy once the holiday actually hit.

I'll be honest, it didn't quite work out that way.  There was nothing particularly wrong with this Christmas.  Maybe I should be saying to Christmas, "It's not you, it's me," because nothing specifically went wrong.  I mean, we had the usual stuff we deal with on a regular basis with the boys--more specifically Jacob--but no matter how I tried to focus on how much we have been given, how blessed we are to have so much family to spend the holidays with, and how I need to enjoy this time before we really have something to be sad about at Christmas, I had a heck of a time feeling genuine joy.  I felt like such a jerk, but it was hard pulling myself out of it.  Maybe it was the vague cold symptoms, maybe it was the kids and some of the usual ungratefulness that emerges this time of year, maybe it was the fact we put a ton of effort into picking great gifts for everyone and got a few iffy ones in return...I don't know.  But still, on the surface, it was a good one.

I took off work a couple Fridays ago to do my shopping, and I had a fabulous 10-minute revelation in the middle of Pier One that allowed me to sort out the rest of my gift giving and finish up a ton of stuff that day and the next.  But that meant the next week I had to focus on the last handful of little things and try to get ahead of the game on wrapping and the like.  Of course, that only went slightly according to plan since I started feeling crappy early in the week.  It wasn't anything overwhelming, but I hit the zinc hardcore to make sure it wouldn't turn into more.  It still made me a little tired, so it was an effort to do the wrapping and figure out what food to make for the various stops on our schedule.  It pretty much took right up until the last minute and I had my annual "I'd like to just sit down here and cry and give up" moment in Wegmans on Thursday.

Saturday Craig had to work all day, and luckily he took Jacob with him so it was just me and Carter.  I had made decent progress the previous couple days so when I felt extra tired that day and spent part of it on the couch I didn't feel guilty...but once we got back from the Knighthawks game I had so much work to do!  Last minute wrapping of gifts that I couldn't hide easily, making the cinnamon rolls for the next morning, a little packing...and it was 1:30 before my head hit the pillow.  But before that, Santa came!

And no, not all of those are for the kids.  Most were family gifts.

I was expecting an early wake-up from the boys, and even planned on it since we had a busy schedule the next day.  But even Jacob slept later than expected and we decided to shift our church schedule from 10am to noon so we had more time to open presents, eat a leisurely breakfast, and get out of the house without as much shouting.  It meant a later start, but it seemed a small price to pay since we didn't have anything specific planned until later.  So Carter slept, we rested, and Jacob kept himself occupied for a bit once he finally woke up.  And eventually it was time for the traditional picture...

The boys got right in on opening stockings--mostly candy and a few little fun things.

The boys were happy that Santa brought them Nerf guns and goggles, as it was one of Jacob's ideas when we talked with his therapist for letting the boys work out their differences in a different way.  Of course, we figured out pretty quickly that the guns, although small, were still too powerful for inside the house, so they might be going away until spring.

Ah, more tanks for the epic army guy battles in our basement.  And notice that he's wearing a weird vest here.  It's from an old Halloween costume and was originally intended to be spy attire for trying to see Santa.  

 One of Jacob's big gifts from us was a new lacrosse bag...

And Carter got his first-ever bigger set of Legos from Santa...

Jacob's big gift (fortunately at minimal cost to us) was that he could accompany Craig on a roadtrip to Calgary in the spring.  We wrapped up a piece of paper telling him so, and this was his reaction!

Carter's big gift was something he's wanted for months, an Imaginext Serpent Strike playset (aka the Mummy's Tomb).  He was very excited!

Jacob also got a resistance band for working out, a DVD, a book (I took a chance--it's by a local author and it's about Seabreeze Amusement Park!), the tanks for his army guys, a new teal tie, a fidget cube, and a bunch of candy.  Carter got a stuffed Lego Batman, some Lego Batman minifigures, a game for his Leap Pad, a little Lego set, a small Imaginext Yeti trap, a Hot Wheels car, and a cool book that uses a flashlight to "look inside" the human body.  Both boys also received an ornament from me--the same one, a Scooby-Doo Hallmark ornament--as I'm committed to starting ornament collections for them to one day take off to their own homes.

We didn't have a ton of time to play, but after our traditional cinnamon rolls and getting ready for church, the boys got to open presents from Uncle John's family (more Legos!), and then it was off to church.  Normally we go to Craig's parents' church, but since his mom was singing at midnight mass, we opted to go at home.  Our church had a very nice service--pretty lighting, an interesting dancer wearing LED-lit angel wings, and a beautiful candlelit ending to the service as we sang "Silent Night".  The kids were pretty good--although Carter was antsy and Jacob was eager to get home and get on the road to see his cousins.  All things considered it was good, though.

Some of the altar décor...and they changed color!  So pretty.

We went right to Craig's aunt's house for our usual time with his extended family.  Jacob couldn't wait for his cousins to arrive, but Carter was just plain grumpy and showed why when he fell asleep on Craig for about an hour or so around 6pm.  I guess it had been a long day already!  The boys got a couple cool gifts there, including Rock'em Sock'em Robots (!) and a perfectly Carter-sized basketball.  It was great to see everyone, even if Carter sort of limited our ability to mingle.

Then it was off to Craig's brother's house for our exchange with his immediate family.  Our first order of business was the annual reading of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas".  The kids gathered round (probably because it was the only way they'd get the green light to open gifts!)...

That is Jacob wearing the goofy glasses.  They're his Nerf goggles, which he insisted on bringing...apparently in case he and his cousins had a Nerf war.

Jacob got a video game he wanted, along with some Under Armour pants he loves, and Carter got Legos, PJs, and more Imaginext stuff--including a snow tank he's been talking about forever and this Batwing contraption that he wears on his arm.  It shines a bat signal and shoots discs.

The boys both enjoyed the evening--Jacob with his cousins and Carter shooting down houses of cards that his fabulous aunt built for him--but soon it was very late and time to go to bed!  More presents awaited the next day!  Unfortunately, in addition to some snow, there was some fierce wind overnight.  Sustained 30mph winds with higher gusts created a lot of blowing snow and made the house creak like crazy.  I didn't sleep great, but fortunately, everyone slept in pretty well.  

We arrived at my parents' around noon and ate a delicious ham dinner before settling in for more present opening.

Jacob got a gift certificate to Livingston County Pizza, an Under Armour shirt, two books (not excited, but maybe someday), a book of mazes, and a nice-sized check.  Carter got a lot of little stuff, from an ornament to some card games and books, to a bigger game that I've never seen but am looking forward to trying to play.  He also got a set of Magic Tracks, which he enjoyed checking out...

Later he got more creative...first with creating hills...

...and then creating a blockade...

After some good rest (for Craig) and playtime (for the kids--and hey, I even lost at pool to Jacob!), it was off to my uncle's house for our annual crazy family get-together.  As usual it was a crazy evening of food, laughs, and presents, complete with a saran wrap ball, Family Feud (Jacob's idea), and some other game (which, just as we were leaving, I won points for the ladies in because I named the last four things the rabbit says good night to in "Goodnight Moon" #momskills).  I got a couple self-improvement books I've been wanting, Craig got a movie theater gift card, Jacob got awesome shorts and a perfect Canada lacrosse hat, and Carter got a bunch of little Lego sets and an Aquabot fish.  All in all, a very good night!

It made for a couple busy days on the heels of a busy week, but we made it through.  My cold never took over, and while the kids made us crazy, we got through without embarrassing ourselves.  It wasn't a super remarkable Christmas, gift-wise, other than maybe for Jacob, but it was fine.  And sometimes, fine has to be enough.  And that's okay.