Christmas Crush

Well, here we are, basically a week before the real rush of Christmas begins.  We usually go between starting the festivities on the 23rd or 24th, depending on how Christmas falls and what we can have ready in time.  This year we have to push everything to a very busy 24th, because Craig has a game to work on the 23rd (thankfully at home).  That means that I'll probably be up until all hours trying to finish wrapping and packing after we get home from the Knighthawks game, so that we can open gifts in the morning and get on the road by lunch time.

By some miracle I'm almost done shopping.  I took off work yesterday because I knew I just needed one day alone where I could get stuff done.  I was originally planning on taking a couple hours to go to the art gallery and see an exhibit that's ending soon, but I think I'm going to try to do that after my work holiday party Thursday instead.  I just needed to focus on shopping, and thank goodness I did, because I had this amazing moment of clarity in the middle of Pier One where I managed to decide on what I was getting everyone that was left on our list...at least the people I have to buy for.  I managed to somehow get through almost everything yesterday, and worked out a plan for a couple other things involving a trip across town tonight.  Beyond that there are just a couple odds and ends that I think I can take care of this week.  That means I need to start wrapping ASAP. The sooner I start doing that, the better off I will be when I realize all of the last minute stuff I'm currently forgetting.  At the very least I have to figure out what foods I'm bringing to three different gatherings, which is always a challenge as I'm debating what I can bring that Jacob will eat that's also convenient to make and travel with.  Then there's always packing.  I just know it's going to be a busy week no matter what.

It's been a weird, up-and-down sort of Christmas season.  I still haven't been feeling 100%, which hasn't helped.  My cough still hangs in there with a coughing fit or nagging mucus issue once or twice a day, and now I'm starting to get a slight sore throat again.  It's all manageable enough, but it's starting to get worrisome, and I hate to go back to the doctor again--maybe because I just don't want to deal with the bills that might result from digging into this further.  We also just had a minor health scare with Carter, because he had been complaining of neck pain for a few days.  I was tilting his head backward to rinse out shampoo, and he said it hurt.  When the pain lasted for a few days, we felt it was worth calling the doctor.  Of course, by the time we got there on Friday, he didn't seem bothered anymore.  His exam was perfect, so I guess that was good.  And the partial improvement in my interactions with Jacob lately has been nice.  We still have our moments, for sure, but the positive moments we do have are uplifting, and I hope that through those we're able to build back a little trust that's been lost over the years.

On the darker side, though, Jacob and Carter still don't get along, and Craig and I are absolutely exhausted trying to deal with it.  Jacob is desperate for his brother to play with him, but when it doesn't go according to plan, inevitably Jacob gets mad, Carter takes defensive action in anticipation of Jacob's strike, and then everything goes right down the tubes.  They battle constantly.  In addition, it's been a hard time of year to think about all of the people struggling right now--from my cousin who lost her son, to all of the people suffering through the latest round of California wildfires.  I'm just sad thinking about their sadness at what's supposed to be a happy time of year, and then anxiety bubbles up a little as I worry that it could just as easily be us next year, God forbid.  We should be grateful for the generally good holiday we're having, because we never know how long these good ones will last.  Not sure why it's all really heavily weighing on me this year in particular, but it's been a challenge to stay upbeat most days.  I do still have the contact info for a therapist that Jacob's therapist passed along, but the thought of working something else into our schedule right now seems exhausting.  On top of everything else, work has been atypically exhausting and I'm just ready for a break...but I'm barely going to get one.

I did manage to send out Christmas cards this morning, and Jacob had a goal in his long-awaited game (a win) against his old team this afternoon.  After that, I went and got a real haircut from a new stylist, who managed to undo the damage from the bad cut I got in the spring.  The cut looks great and the blow out made it so bouncy and perfect for our outing tonight.  Such a good feeling and totally worth the extra money spent over going to the no-appointment place I used to go to.  Maybe better hair will help my outlook?

I just know the next week will be crazy busy, and with everything going on around me, I wonder sometimes how I'll get it all done.  I know I should be so thankful for the life we have, and I am, but the little things are ganging up on me a bit this year.  I'm trying to be grateful for good progress on gifts and hoping it gives me just enough relief to enjoy the week that's left of this Christmas season.  We've finally had a nice, snowy December and we should be in a great position for some high Christmas spirits, but we'll just have to see how the week goes.  The last rush is on...