Why couldn't this just be easy?

I'm somewhere above central Alabama right now in seat 40B of a Delta 757. The past day or so has been...shall we say, challenging. After an awful lot of encouragement from various people on Facebook and in person, I deduced that I had the whole Priceline thing sort of psyched out and decided to put in a bid. I figured that all of the flights I was seeing looked doable, so why not attempt to get one blindly, particularly if I can get it really cheap. However, when I discovered that you can only put in one bid on the same route every 24 hours, I had to rethink my lowballing strategy and be a little more reasonable. I put in a bid similar to one that had previously been accepted under similar circumstances, and voila, it was accepted. Much to my dismay, I discovered they gave me the worst possible outbound flight—one leaving at 6pm and getting to Seattle after midnight! Add into that a 2-1/2 hour drive to British Columbia and a three-hour time change, I was more than a little worried about that scenario. The good news was that my Sunday flight was better than expected, an 8am departure that arrived around dinnertime. Panicking, I called Delta to see if I could fly standby. I was told that I could, for a $50 fee. Well, if I could get one of the early flights, it would be worth it to get a whole extra day out west. Initially the woman I talked to told me that I could do one of two flights because they were within the same flight class. I had to call at midnight and they could book me. While I didn't want to sink anymore money into this trip, it seemed wise for a lot of reasons.

So, I picked up the boys that evening, rushed through dinner, and packed like a maniac. We managed to get on the road by 8:45, and got to my parents' by 10pm. Jacob went to bed rather quickly after that, and Carter needed his last feeding and two diaper changes before nodding off. By that point I headed up to take a shower so I didn't have to do it at 4am.  At midnight I called and had an estimated 12-21 minute hold time...which turned into an hour. When I finally did talk to someone, they had to pass me around and put me on hold a couple times. Eventually I found out that I could only really get booked on one of the available flights because I had to also maintain the same route. In the end, I was told that I was booked on standby for a 6am flight that got into Seattle around 1:30pm. A little later than I'd been hoping for, but better. Oh, and no fee. Of course, when I was off the phone and got my “revised” itinerary, it was the same one! By this time it was well after 1am and the estimated hold time was eternally long. I had no choice but to go to bed and hope for the best when I went to the airport at 4am.

Well, I couldn't sleep. I was so concerned about the itinerary, nervous and full of adrenaline, sleeping in the same room as both my kids, and overtired. Bad combo. I didn't sleep at all. I finally got up at 2:30 and called the airline again, at which point they confirmed that I was set up for standby on the 6am flight, but that I wouldn't know if I was on it until I got there. Hmmm...not quite the "confirmed standby" they had told me about. I felt a little better after that but was still preoccupied with whether or not I'd get my flights or be able to change my unchangeable car rental. By that point I was convinced I'd made a huge mistake and all I wanted to do was stay home and snuggle my kids. But the money I'd sunk into this dictated otherwise. I almost fell asleep right before 4am, but instead got up and started getting ready before I got too tired.

I got to ride in my dad's new sports car—a purchase he'd talked about making if the stock market continued to improve, and he took the plunge on last week. I accused him of possible insanity via Facebook, and he countered that I was nuts for this trip, to which I responded that the apple must not have fallen far from the tree! Anyway, flying standby is not for the faint of heart. It was still the better case scenario here, but man, it is nerve-wracking. Long story short, I've gotten on both my flights so I'll be in Seattle by sometime after 1pm Pacific time. Depending on how the rental car issue goes, my goal is to take a quick trip down to Tacoma to visit the Museum of Glass, which I have wanted to go to since I first found out about Dale Chihuly, then passed by it via train seven years ago. It's only a half hour south, and while it'll make my drive north a bit longer, I think the museum would be worth it. My goal is to get up to B.C. for a slightly late dinner. I'll have to talk to Craig, but we'll see how it goes. I'd like to do one extra thing for myself on this trip in case the game does not go well!

Today has been challenging mostly because I haven't slept. I've tried on the plane, with limited success. I've spent a lot of time in airports without WiFi...because one wouldn't work and the other charges money. The $10 charge on my eternally long flight is tempting, but I'll hold off. A 4-1/2 hour flight and you have to pay for movies on this flight...arg. At least they give you cookies. And I have an in-flight map at my seat, which makes this geography geek very happy, particularly since I don't have a window seat. I've been relatively okay despite the sleep deprivation, thanks to adrenaline. No caffeine yet, believe it or not, since I do want to try to sleep on this flight. But I can tell that I don't have the attention span for reading, and I fear that the second I have to drive I'm going to get sleepy. I'm hoping for fantastic scenery to keep me awake, though. I better sleep well tonight after all of this, and with no kids to wake me up.

Speaking of the kids, I miss them. I got a call around 5:30am from my parents. Apparently both kids woke up after I left. Jacob wanted me, of course, so I talked to him briefly on the phone. I feel bad Carter was up, because that kid is a fantastic sleeper (both are, really) and I wouldn't have done this if I didn't think my parents could get a reasonable amount of sleep while watching them. I hope it's just bad luck for one night. It was sad saying goodbye last night and this morning. As nuts as Jacob makes me, I know that it's not easy for him to stay behind. My parents went on vacation without us periodically, and I think it's necessary sometimes, so I think this is a good experience for him. Still, it's hard. Carter doesn't really know better at this point, but I will miss kissing his chubby little cheeks for the next few days.

Despite all of the frustration leading up to this point, I am hoping that the next couple days are totally worth the trip, for multiple reasons. I'm hoping for my trip to the museum, gorgeous scenery, a great game, and some quality time with Craig. Hopefully that's not too much to ask. Hopefully more to come soon...

Holy cow, I'm going...

The full story will come soon, but the next few days are going to be one heck of a whirlwind.  Hopefully I'll find a few minutes to post here and there, but stay tuned...

Spontaneity

My Facebook status this morning was, "It was a lot easier to be spontaneous before I had two children." 

I don't want that to sound like I'm complaining, because it is a simple statement of fact.  I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for anything, but kids definitely but a crimp in any sort of free-wheeling lifestyle.  Not that I had one of those before, but what little I had pretty much has had to take a back seat to motherhood.  At the same time, the desire to have fun and do exciting things doesn't die off when you have kids, so when the opportunity arises, it makes it extra hard to manage the decision-making. 

Six years ago this week I took off for Phoenix after a last-minute decision to fly out for the Knighthawks championship game.  I recounted the photo highlights of that trip here.  It was pretty much the best weekend ever and I never regretted spending the $450 to fly out there.  It was a total by-the-seat-of-my-pants adventure, mostly because I'd never flown solo before, I had to figure out transportation to the hotel and the game once I got there, and I pretty much just crashed in Craig's room despite the fact he had a roommate (who, luckily, I had known for years).  It was crazy, but we won and it was worth it.  A year later I had Jacob, and I was even happier I did that trip because I knew my spontaneous days were pretty much over.

Well...fast-forward through six years and one more kid, and the Knighthawks are off again this weekend to the championship game.  Last year it was here in Rochester, which was fantastic, but this year it's going to be in Langley, British Columbia.  The team that's hosting, the Washington Stealth, is based in Everett, WA, but their arena is booked.  Ironically, the trip to Phoenix occurred when the Knighthawks arena was booked, and the league made us play there.  This time they let the Stealth find a different arena, and it's one in a different country, for goodness sakes.  Apparently the 5,000 seats are nearly sold out, which is great, but that's a small arena for the league's most important game, and a nationally televised one at that.  

Anyway, the night the Knighthawks advanced, I opened up Travelocity and started searching.  Flights to Vancouver were ridiculous, even from Toronto (at least $800), so I pretty much abandoned all hope of finding one.  However, in talking to my boss this morning, she suggested Seattle.  I checked, and it's only a 2-1/2 hour drive to Langley.  It's probably a gorgeous drive, too.  Those flights were no cheaper, but then I hopped on Priceline.  They had a package for a flight and rental car that was less than $500!  Even more intriguing is the name-your-price option, because some people had gotten bids of $350 or less accepted for that same route (but no car for that one).  Of course, both of those options entail not knowing when my flights would be, aside from between 6am to 10pm on the two days I requested.  Still, in looking at the other flights available, Friday could be almost anything but Sunday would almost certainly be 6am since the redeyes available are after 10pm.  That would involve an overnight drive back to Seattle to be at the airport by 4am-ish, but I could be running on adrenaline by that point so perhaps it wouldn't be too bad.  Or I could be dead tired and cursing that decision.  But if we win (and possibly even if we don't), it would be one heck of an adventure.  Intriguing, no?

Of course, now that a trip like this would involve leaving two kids behind, there's a lot more that goes into the decision than just the money.  Of course, when I think about the money, I think about the other things I'd like to do that the money could go toward instead--new TV, new patio set, better landscaping, a real vacation--or the things it should go toward--daycare, formula, home improvements.  But a trip like that has the potential to be a lifelong memory, which is really great, too.  I love looking back at pictures from past trips, and I love the feeling of having an entirely new experience like that. Going to places very different than here--out west, in particular, with mountains or deserts--is such an awesome experience every time.  And doing it without kids...well, it's such a glorious and almost foreign experience to not be worrying about when the kids need to eat or sleep or how to keep them occupied.  Again, kids are great, but they are not ideal travel or adventure companions.

Assuming my parents would be willing to watch them, I know they'd be well taken care of.  But not having been away from Carter at all makes a trip like this a little scary, even without breastfeeding being part of the equation this time like it would have been with Jacob.  He's a great baby but I don't know how he'd be without us for a couple days.  Would the kids exhaust my parents?  Would their schedules be totally thrown off?  I have no idea.  I worry about something happening while I was gone--either to them or to me--and since this is a bit of a random, non-necessary trip, I'd never forgive myself.  Given that this trip involves some extra driving, possibly overnight, with a time zone change, it makes me more nervous than I would be normally.  The thought of ever leaving my kids without a parent (or both) is pretty much the worst thing ever.  I mean, it could happen here on any given day, too, but trips are always a little scarier.

Still, I think there's something to be said for indulging the adventurous part of yourself once in a while.  Between Craig's schedule and Carter's needs, there hasn't been a lot of time just for Craig and me in a long time.  By the time the kids are in bed, we're both exhausted.  When they're awake we usually each take a kid, or when we're all together Jacob constantly interrupts any conversation we attempt to have.  While this wouldn't exactly be some tropical vacation that we get to spend together, it would involve some time alone to just be "us" as opposed to "Mommy and Daddy".  These types of opportunities are few and far between, and let's face it--without a specific event to force the issue, chances are we're going to have a million excuses to not plan a trip for ourselves.  Aside from a couple weekends here and there, we haven't really gone off on our own since Jacob was born.  We took our trip to Florida before that, a trip to Portland and Seattle seven years ago, and a trip to Vegas for our one-year anniversary.  Add in our honeymoon, and that's about it for the big trips we took together since we got married.  It might be time for a trip away without the kids.  But whether or not this should be it is sort of up for debate.  But would the adventure aspect of this trip fulfill some sort of adrenaline junkie buried deep inside me?

I was hoping that writing this post would help me process everything, but here I am, still torn.  I found out tonight I could stay with Craig for free.  But the thought of getting everything packed up for all three of us for an entire weekend within a few hours tomorrow night seems impossible.  Maybe that's my sign that I shouldn't do this.  I don't know.  Part of me feels like this decision is walking the fine line between showing that I am a mom and proving that I'm more than a mom.    

Smiley boy!

I'd been trying for a while to get good pictures of Carter smiling.  He does it a lot these days, though sometimes it's random and sometimes it's in direct response to us.  It's still a little hit and miss, but usually when he gets going he'll smile for a while.  It's so awesome!  Usually the changing table is a good bet, which is ironic considering the poor kid screamed through every diaper change for the first 7-8 weeks of his life.  He's pretty unphased now, and probably relieved because his butt is no longer full of oozing sores.  The diaper rash has pretty much cleared up, thank goodness.  It's still a bit of a delicate situation because one bad poop without adequate protection (as happened late last week) can rapidly start him back down the path.  Fortunately we managed to contain it again, but man, it can go downhill quick.  It makes me sad to see a little bit of skin discoloration where the sores were, but hopefully those scars will heal.  And at least the sores aren't there anymore.  So, no wonder the kid is now happier during changes--he knows how bad it can be!

 

Anyway, all weekend I was stalking him during his happy times to try to capture his smiles.  He moves so much that it's hard to catch him without a blur, but I finally got a few!

 

I couldn't decide between those last two, despite how similar they are, so you get both!  You can't see it very well here, but when he smiles his cheeks have this little extra roundness, almost like high cheekbones or something.  You can almost see it in the second one.  Carter's at a bit of a disadvantage in comparison to Jacob because Jacob had his dimple, which made every smile extra swoon-worthy.  So, while the high cheekbones (or whatever) aren't a major feature, I was happy to see something that set his smile apart.  Regardless, it is beyond cute.  He was trying to laugh last night, too, which is so adorable.  I can't wait for the first good belly laugh!

Everyone is saying how chubby he looks, but I swear, that's just his face.  He's got those round cheeks, but the rest of him is still pretty skinny.  He's getting a little chub on his thighs now, but he is still a super skinny little boy, just like his big brother.  But he's healthy and I wouldn't expect anything less given his gene pool.  Jacob ended up with a pretty chubby looking face at times, too, but he obviously thinned out a lot and I'm sure Carter will too.  I still have trouble figuring out if they look alike.  I think parts of them do, and certainly certain faces, but they are definitely unique in their own ways.  We still don't know where Carter's coloring came from, since that dark hair is still hanging in there in the back!

Anyway, it's been nice to see the smiles come out.  It's the first hint of a real personality and one of the first ways you can feel like you're getting to know your baby and communicate directly with them.  And if it gives me a some nice wallpaper for my computer, so be it!

News & Notes, Perfect Weather Edition

We are in the middle of the most amazing weather pattern right now.  It has been 70-something and sunny for days, and the pattern is supposed to continue for another week.  Jacob has been getting some outside time, and I am dying to get out and run in it.  Alas, I haven't had great luck with that for a few reasons.  Tomorrow I should get out and do some yard work, but it's so nice to know that it's gorgeous out whenever I have to go somewhere.  Like the last two days when I had to leave the office midday (more on that in a minute), at least I knew I was going out into heavenly weather.  This time of year, with all the flowers and trees in bloom and the weather gorgeous, is by far my favorite.

Like I said, the last two days I've been out and about.  I thought that yesterday was Carter's doctor's appointment, but no...I'm pretty sure they told me the wrong date.  I had written down the 2nd, and even remember double checking at the end of the call.  I'm also pretty sure I wouldn't have set it up for a Friday, even though we were short on dates as it was, so I have no idea what happened.  So, I went through the whole thing of leaving work, driving through traffic (they're filming "The Amazing Spider-man 2" in downtown Rochester right now, which means the streets are a mess with pedestrians, re-routed bus traffic, and police directing traffic around closed roads), picking up Carter, and going to the doctor, only to find out the appointment was today instead.  So today I had to do it all over again.  Annoying to have to make up time, but at least the weather was good and it was a little bonus time with Carter.

Today's appointment went fine.  He got a clean bill of health and the doctor was pleased with everything she saw.  She told me to keep doing what we're doing with his diaper rash, which finally got better last weekend but flared up again the other day after he pooped without cream on.  She's comfortable with my concerns about his feeding, spitting up, and congestion, and he's growing nicely.  He's up to 11 lbs., 2 oz., and 23-1/4 inches long.  He's right around the 50th percentile.  The crappy thing about this appointment was that it featured four (!) shots and one oral vaccine.  I felt so bad when Carter got stuck.  Babies have this thing about them, where they're totally fine one second, have half a second after the stick where they're okay, and the next half second it's this look of, "Holy crap, what is THAT?", followed by absolute misery.  By the fourth stick he turned bright red.  He calmed down relatively quickly.  I wasn't the one to pick him up to find out how he was this afternoon, but tonight he's been miserable.  He's been sleepy, he screamed for a good half hour when he got home, and didn't want to drink much of his bottle.  I ran out to grab some infant Tylenol and some dinner, and he's been sleeping with little whines ever since.  I'm hoping the Tylenol perks him up.  Four shots seems like a lot, but I'm not about to be one of those anti-vaccine people.  Jacob never had issues with them that I can recall, and millions of kids have had this same regimen without issues.  It's just hard to see sometimes. Otherwise he's fine.  He's taken to trying to shove his whole fist in his mouth, which makes me think he's going to try to be a thumbsucker.  We shall see.  He's also been quite miserable during the period between 6:30 and 9:30 lately, which is usually the witching hour for kids but has been very difficult for him, to the point that I've had to learn how to eat with him in my arms because he will not sit in his swing or seat while we eat.  But other than that, he's great.  Aside from last night when he was up at 4:30, he's been sleeping through the night until at least 5:30 or 6.  It's lovely.  And one of these nights I will get to bed at a decent time, too.

This week, for the first time since June, my body feels like my own.  Between pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and whatever else, it's been a long run.  I'd actually still been having some minor bleeding right up through last week, when my first birth control pill-induced period arrived.  I even had a little random bleeding after that, which prompted me to call my doctor and make an appointment, but I'm pretty sure that was just a side effect of the pill, which is normal the first three months, because it stopped after a day or so.  I canceled my appointment as result, because I didn't want to have to pay a co-pay for an ultrasound, which they were going to do to make sure nothing was still hanging out up there from the pregnancy.  I haven't had any other side effects, so I'm guessing I'm fine, but it's nice to finally feel normal (or a slightly chubbier version of normal) for the first time in ages.

I am working a bit on the chub, though.  I've been back to my weekly class for the past four weeks, and I'm trying to sneak in runs here and there in preparation for the Corporate Challenge in a few weeks.  I did my first real run last week, and much to my surprise I ran over three miles!  My pace was right around a 10 minute mile, which is totally respectable considering how long it's been since I ran regularly.  It's a far cry from the 8-1/2ish minute mile I was running last year at this time, but I'll take it.  The more I run the easier it will get, but it's a challenge in the meantime.  It's nice to have my Nike+ sensor and app, though, because I can just run and not worry about how long or far or fast I'm running.  I want to get back in shape so my clothes fit again, because it's a challenge getting dressed right now, between the changing seasons and my body shape.  My belly is still flabby even when I suck in, and my hips and thighs are still a bit bigger than before, though I'm not sure if that's fat or hip spread.  My weight's only 3-5 pounds more than I'd like it to be, but it definitely makes a difference.  It's good to feel like I'm making an effort again, but it's no fun having to watch what I eat for the first time in a long time.

One funny story to finish things off...You'd think that having two kids would make me feel old, but you know what really did it?  Last night we got a new filing cabinet and I was excited.  My excitement made me realize that I am officially old.  We only had one small filing cabinet (one of the $30 ones you get at Target) and another drawer in our desk, and they were jammed.  But between another child, another car, another batch of instruction manuals, and a couple new credit cards (Target RedCard...5% off and free shipping...yay!), we needed more storage in order to make the dreaded task of filing a little less miserable.  I asked my aunt and uncle to keep an eye out, since they go to a lot of garage sales, and sure enough...they got me exactly what I wanted!  It's a nice, deep, two-drawer cabinet...for $10!  It's perfect.  And I am way too excited about it.  Old.  Yep.

And now, here's one shot from the doctor's office today, while we were killing time before those nasty shots...

Happy Weekend, everyone!

The Last Week

I don't know if I was just lazy last week, or too invested in other projects, or what, but it's taken me an entire week to get these pictures off my camera and post them here.  Suffice it to say that evenings are crazy these days, and I'm already short on sleep so I'm always hesitant to jump into a new project later in the evening once my arms are empty and the boys are asleep.  It's been a struggle to stay awake long enough to get things done and it's hard to sacrifice any more time in the evening after not seeing the kids all day.  That is my biggest challenge now that I'm back to work.  Anyway, as a result of trying to get some other projects done (like, say, way-overdue thank you notes, birth announcements and baptism invites), it took me a week to do this...

 

Two weekends ago we were actually pretty busy.  Craig was in Buffalo/Canada for various lacrosse activities, so it was just me and the boys.  My parents came into town to see us, with the added incentive of sitting in a suite for the Amerks' last regular season game.  We hadn't been to an Amerks game all year and Jacob, of course, had been wanting to go.  So, no time like the present!  Fortunately Craig got us tickets and we had some comfortable accommodations in a suite.  We had a very nice time.  This is how Carter spent his night...

And Jacob hung out with Grandpa...

We had a really good time and still managed to get home at a reasonable time.  The Amerks won to get themselves into the playoffs, and even better, the Knighthawks won their road game to get into the playoffs.  It was a good night.

The next morning we had a birthday party for Jacob's friend at Chuck E. Cheese.   

Craig was still in Buffalo so I had to get the boys up and ready myself.  I put Carter into the Baby Bjorn and played pack mule while Jacob ran from game to game.  Craig showed up right around pizza time, and then he took over game duty while I chatted with one of the moms (the mom of Jacob's soccer buddy, who I hadn't seen since the last night of soccer, the day before Carter was born).  As usual, Jacob had a blast playing games.  He played a lot of the baseball and football games, as well as some skee-ball and air hockey.  He also liked riding in this big safari jeep that raised way up, and spent a good amount of time in the crawling/climbing apparatus with his friends. 

Playing air hockey against Daddy!

The one thing I insisted is that we all sit in the crazy picture creator thing.  It takes a picture and "draws" it.  It only costs one token and I figured it might be a fun opportunity to get a picture of all of us together.  Well, I think the result is pretty priceless.  Carter looks a little dazed, but the rest of us where laughing because it was so hard to get us all in the picture.  Nice memory, though!

I spent most of the rest of the weekend trying to get a good picture of Carter.  He is so cute, but I don't feel like photos do him justice!  However, I think these capture his essence pretty well...

This may be one of my favorites, but for some reason I cannot get Blogger to put it in here rotated.  Sorry, you'll just have to tilt your head...

Carter has been smiling up a storm at times.  It's still not particularly cause-and-effect, but he does it a lot.  Once in a while he'll do it directly in response to something, but most of the time it's random and directed at my forehead or something.  But the past couple nights we've played a little game with his pacifier where I give it to him and take it back.  Ok, it's probably a bit of a tease, but he thinks it's funny so we'll just go with it.  Regardless, here's a cute picture of him smiling.  I can't wait to see more of these!

Back to my busy week now...notes to write and laundry to fold!

Smiles

I wish I had some fantastic smiley photos to accompany this post, but I'm still working on getting some good ones.  Carter is dishing them out right and left these days, but apparently just not when I have a camera.  And when he's in a good mood, the last thing I want to do is disrupt it by jumping up to get the camera.  It's been fun to see all of his smiles and hear his happy noises, though.  I can't get enough!

The reason for this post is because I had this funny little realization the other day.  Suddenly it occurred to me why parents always like to see their baby smile.  I mean, smiles are cute, but I realized why the arrival of the smile era is such a monumental milestone--it's because it's the first moment when you know that your baby is happy.  And what does every parent want more than anything else?  For their child to be happy. 

When your baby is born, you spend all of your time making sure their needs are met.  You feed them, change them, and cuddle them, all in an effort to make sure they're comfortable.  You don't get much in return, but for some reason it can still be one of the most rewarding things ever.  But amidst all that, I don't know if "happy" is an adjective most parents would use to describe their newborn.  Sweet, content, cute, good...perhaps.  But happy?  That descriptor doesn't come around until later, after the smiles begin.  That is the point at which you know that your baby is happy, really and truly happy.  It can be short-lived, of course, but every little smile is confirmation that you're doing something right.  It's a good feeling to have a happy child, and after a couple months of wondering if your baby is feeling good at any given moment, that confirmation is so nice to have.  It's the first real emotional connection you can have to your child, and that's why it's such an exhilarating experience. 

Not to mention that it gives you something to do.  A while back I talked about not knowing what to do with Carter sometimes, and while I'm still working on it, the arrival of smiles means we have something to aim for.  It's still not easy to get one, but I can play with him in hopes he'll kick one out and confirm that yes, we are having fun.  And it will only get better from here.  I can't wait!

Sorry, I know this isn't much of a post, but I wanted to write this up before I forgot!  I have a couple things to share from last weekend, but I haven't gotten around to pulling the pics off the camera yet.  Soon, I promise.