Dear Jacob,
I apologize for the belatedness of this letter. Usually I post this right on your birthday, but let's just say your birthday was surrounded by a whole lot of chaos and this definitely got lost in the shuffle. I guess it's pretty on brand for this year because your birthday got a bit overshadowed by a handful of other things, and for that I'm sorry. You deserve better, and I hope you felt plenty loved and showered with gifts over our Pittsburgh weekend. We'll do what we can to make the rest up to you later.
It's been another interesting, up-and-down, confusing year. What else is new? I know it was hard because of all the injuries. Your body just hasn't been cooperating and it stinks. You've been through so much (and continue to be) and it's just freaking unfair. It breaks my heart every time you're struggling. We're doing what we can to get you through, and I hope one of these times it works, for real and for good. But you still did some amazing things this year and we're so proud of you. We know training was a struggle for both physical and mental reasons, but you really pushed through and came into your own as a player this season. I wish your team could have made more of a run, but it was fun to watch while it lasted. It's been weird not having basketball most of this spring, but I also think the break is probably much needed, mentally and physically. I worry about how much it will set you back on the basketball court once things get going again, but hopefully that will be offset by a renewed mindset that will drive you in a different way.
The baseball evolution has been an interesting plot twist. I think it says a lot about you just wanting a pressure-free sports experience for a change. It's been fun to hear you get excited about something and have a challenge that feels like a "good" one, instead of one that's happening out of spite or obligation. Most importantly, baseball has given you something in common with your brother, which quite frankly feels a little miraculous. It's taken 11 years for you two to have anything in common, and while this brings its fair share of arguments itself, it's given you something to talk about, cheer about, and do together. We haven't had anything like that all these years, and it's helping mend your relationship. Yes, you are really critical of him when you're practicing and you accidentally injure each other periodically, but I'd say for the most part, it's done so much more for your relationship than anything else, and the good far exceeds any damage those arguments do. It's nice and it's brought some harmony to the house for a change. At least everyone can watch baseball together in peace...as long as the Pirates are winning, anyway. It's been fun to enjoy games together again as a family, since that's something we did for years, and I think we really missed that common bond for a while. It gives us a family focus and might even give us some vacation fodder other than Disney for a change. We'll see. Speaking of Disney, we did it better last year and I look forward to when we can do it again. I promise, I do love it--I just love doing other things sometimes too. But it will always be special to us because it's special to you.
It's been bizarre and breathtaking watching you continue to grow and mature. I mean, the height is crazy, you're definitely looking more manly these days, and sometimes even your behavior impresses me. Having a big kid can actually be fun sometimes. It absolutely blows my mind that we're at this point, two years from official adulthood, because it doesn't seem like that long ago that you were a little kid. I look at Carter, who's rapidly approaching the age you were when the pandemic began, and that doesn't compute in my brain. It's gone so fast with so many changes, and I worry not only that it will go fast with him too (I'll miss my little buddy) but also because it means that when he's the age you are now, you'll be a full-blown adult on the back end of your college career. Like, what? This parenthood thing is weird. The days are long but the years are short, and I feel like all of the stuff we've gone through with you has twisted that timeline even stranger. But I have an appreciation for it, even if I wish it would have been easier and more enjoyable. You have taught me more than I could have ever imagined, and I think there's merit in that too, even if I wish it (and I) was more joyful. I still feel on the hook for making you into a good human, and I take that seriously. Maybe too seriously. Sometimes that manifests in more nagging than I'd like, but someday we'll find a balance, right?
You pushed through a challenging school year and somehow you're at the top of your class. Maybe not the same as it would be at a "normal" school, but it's still pretty impressive that you've done well despite some sub-par teachers, lots of distractions, and your allergy to homework. It looks like we might make it through a year without a school change, but I guess nothing would surprise me anymore. If you can find a loophole and a fit, we'll be there right beside you...again. We want to support you and keep you on whatever path you need to succeed, so keep working on it. We know it has to be your master plan (we will always chime in, but we know how that goes), so we'll be there when you figure it out.
The 16th birthday usually means getting your permit and getting a job, and you don't seem too eager for either of those things yet. I'm not upset about the permit, although I also know we can't wait too long because we don't want it to become a "thing". The longer you wait, the more its mystique will grow, so we just need to find a happy medium to make sure you're not one of those 20-year-olds who can't drive themselves anywhere. With the job, I think you'll be on board sooner rather than later, but we need to find the right fit. You like money and some jobs could have other benefits, so if we can make both those things happen, I think we'll get that on track soon. Lord knows it would be nice to give you more purpose this summer. I miss camps.
So...here we are. Sixteen. We've made it through another year. I'm tired, I'm impressed, I'm fascinated, and I'm excited. We're proud of you, we love you, and we can't wait to see what the future holds. Happy (Belated) Birthday, Jacob!
Love,
Mom
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